


Siempre

by molstrom



Category: Sons of Anarchy, Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:01:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 37
Words: 277,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29575803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/molstrom/pseuds/molstrom
Summary: Was originally a Veronica/Weevil story...It got away from me. Was posted before, I took it down to change the ending. I've since decided not to change the ending, so here it is, back in its original, freakishly long form.
Relationships: Leo D'Amato/Veronica Mars, Veronica Mars/Eli "Weevil" Navarro, Veronica Mars/Jax Teller/Opie Winston, Veronica Mars/Juice Ortiz





	1. Day One

When I stepped off the plane, it had been twenty months since Lilly died and nineteen months since I had seen my Dad or my hometown of Neptune. 

After Lilly died, Dad blamed Jake Kane for her murder. Around the same time, the Neptune public started calling for the removal of Sheriff Mars from office; Mom decided that she couldn’t handle the inevitable loss of status. Mom came into my bedroom one night and told me she was leaving. She assumed I wouldn’t go with her, but I couldn’t handle being in Neptune anymore…Not without Lilly, Duncan, and Logan. 

So we left…Fled in the night might be a better way to phrase it. We were gone for a week before I was settled enough to call Dad. Since then I’ve talked to him on the phone every day, until the last few days that is. 

I wasn’t planning on coming back to Neptune until after graduation, but Mom…Mom drove after drinking and wrapped our car around a telephone pole on a wet Seattle road. So here I am…Dead best friend, dead Mom, and back in Neptune. It’s the June before Senior year, and I really don’t want to be back.

I gather my bags and walk out to the waiting area. Dad is standing there with open arms waiting for me to walk into them, which I do.  
“Hey, baby.”  
“Hi, Daddy.”  
He wraps his arm around my shoulders and walks me out of the airport.

When we get to his apartment, he gives me the tour…It’s small but larger than the apartment Mom, and I shared in Seattle. My room has its own bathroom, which is nice.   
“Sorry, it’s so small.”  
“It’s fine, Dad.”  
“I have a client stopping by for dinner tonight. I’m sorry, honey. I tried to reschedule.”  
“It’s fine, Dad. Can I join you for dinner, or should I make myself scarce?”  
“You’re welcome to join us. You probably remember him anyways. It’s Eli Navarro.”  
“Yeah, Dad…I remember Eli.”  
“I wasn’t sure. You stopped spending time with Eli when he started getting arrested at twelve.”  
“When is he coming?”  
“Seven.”  
“So I have time to get settled and maybe soak up some of that lovely California sun before he gets here…cool.”

Dad kisses the top of my head and says:  
“I’m so happy to have you home, honey.”  
“I’m glad to be with you, Daddy, but not terribly happy about being home.”  
“Understandable. Get settled.”

Dad leaves the room, and I quickly unpack my clothes. While unpacking, I pull out my pink bikini and an outfit for tonight. When I’m done, I put my bikini on and head outside, grabbing a towel on the way. I’m not outside long before a shadow comes over me, implying someone is blocking my sun. I open my eyes and lookup.   
“Veronica Mars. You’re back.”  
“It appears so.”  
“Is your Daddy home?”  
“Yeah. He’s inside.”  
I wave my hand in the direction of the apartment dismissively. I close my eyes again before he walks away, but as soon as I do, I feel the gentle brush of his fingers over my ribs just below my left breast.  
“Nice tattoo.”  
“Still a minor, Lamb.”  
“Only for a couple more months.”

He walks away then, leaving me to the sun. A few minutes later he walks past again, saying:  
“I still live in the same place…If you want to come by and catch up.”  
“Yeah…No. That won’t be happening.”  
“Whatever you say, Veronica.”  
He winks at me and walks off. (I’ll admit, I watch him go. He always did have a great ass.)

A little while later, I head back inside to get changed and find Dad packing a bag.  
“You have to go?”  
“Yeah, I’m sorry, sweetie. Lamb was useful for once and brought me some information on someone I’ve been looking for. Will you be okay?”  
“Of course. I’m a big girl, Daddy.”  
“Can you handle dinner with Eli yourself? He just needs to sign the papers on the counter. I already ordered the food, it’ll be here at 7:30.”  
“Of course. When will you be home?”  
“Monday, hopefully.”  
“So…three days?”  
“Yeah. Are you sure you’ll be okay?”  
“Yes, Dad. I’ll be fine.”

He finishes packing his bag and kisses my forehead.   
“I have to go. Your keys are on the kitchen counter. Sorry, I don’t have a car for you yet, but you should talk to Eli. His uncle runs a shop. He might know someone.”  
“Okay. Be safe.”

He leaves, and I head to my room to change, leaving the bedroom door partially open so I can hear anything that happens in the rest of the apartment. I’ve taken off my bikini and pulled on my underwear and bra when I hear knocking on the door. I look at the clock and see that it’s only 6:30. I pull my shorts on, not buttoned up, and walk out to answer the door.  
“You’re 30 minutes early.”  
“You don’t have a shirt on, and your shorts are unbuttoned.”  
“I repeat: you’re 30 minutes early.”  
“What if it hadn’t been me?”  
“But, it is you.”  
“But what if it hadn’t been?”

I turn around and walk down the hallway to my room, doing up my shorts as I go. I hear him following me, but I’m not worried about it until I reach for my shirt, and suddenly there are hands-on my stomach, turning me around. (I had forgotten just how hot he is — that caramel skin, those deep chocolate eyes, those soft full lips, and those eyelashes, my god the eyelashes.) I watch as his eyes roam over my body, pausing on my tattoo.  
“Can I put my shirt on?”  
“You can…but do you have to?”  
“I’m going to go with yes, but play your cards right, and I might take it off again.”  
His eyes get dark and hungry before he lets me go and says:  
“You are not the same girl that fled Neptune.”  
“It’s been two years, Eli. People change.”  
“Clearly. Also, it’s Weevil.”  
“Yeah…I’m not calling you that.”

I reach for my shirt and pull it on. We walk out to the kitchen, and he signs his paperwork.  
“So, where’s the sheriff?”  
“Had to leave town.”  
“The day his daughter gets home? That seems…harsh.”  
“A lead came up on someone he’s been looking for. He’ll only be gone a few days.”  
“Do you want me to leave?”  
“Why would I want you to leave? We ordered dinner already.”  
“I just wasn’t sure if you were comfortable with me being here without your dad.”  
“I’m good. I’m not afraid of you, Eli.”

I walk over to the couch and flop down, effectively taking up the entire sofa. He walks over and kneels on the floor next to me before saying:  
“Can I look at the tattoo?”  
“You didn’t get a good enough look before?”  
“No. I was distracted by other…things.”  
I straighten my body on the couch and lift up the bottom of my shirt. He runs his fingers over the tattoo and says:  
“What kind of flower is this?”  
“A lily.”  
“Of course. When did you get it? It doesn’t look new.”  
“It was Mom’s Christmas gift to me last year. Dad freaked, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it.”  
“I never would have pegged Veronica Mars as the type of girl to get a tattoo.”  
“Spend a lot of time thinking about me, Eli?”  
“Yes.”

I fix my shirt and look at him.  
“You’re staring, V.”  
“Has anyone told you that you’re pretty?”  
“Pretty? No, no, no, V. I am not pretty.”  
“Does the word offend you?”  
“I’d much rather be thought of as hot or sexy.”  
I grab the collar of his shirt and pull him towards me before kissing him. It takes him a second to realize what’s happening, but then he kisses me back, deepening the kiss and tangling his fingers in my hair. When we pull apart, we’re both breathing heavily, and his eyes are dark and hungry again.  
“Veronica…”  
“Yes, Eli?”  
“What the hell was that?”  
“That was a kiss, Eli. Are you that out of practice?”  
“How long do we have before dinner gets here?”  
“30 minutes or so.”  
“Get up.”

When I don’t move, he stands up and grabs my hands before saying roughly:  
“Levantate cariño.” (Get up, sweetheart.)  
I stand up, and he sits on the couch, pulling me down into his lap, so I’m straddling him. He brushes the hair out of my face and says:  
“Eres tan hermosa.” (You are beautiful.)  
“You know I only have a tiny Spanish vocabulary, right?”  
“Guess you’ll have to learn. By the way, I like the darker, shorter hair.”  
“The blonde was mostly sun-bleached, so years of being in Seattle with the minimal sun made it naturally darker, I just amped it up by adding some low-lights and highlights to it. The long hair just wasn’t working for me anymore.”  
“Tired of being a California cheerleader?”  
“Yeah. Shorter, less blonde hair made it easier to blend in at my school in Seattle…Plus, the long hair was a risk with one of Mom’s boyfriends. He didn’t like it when I walked away from him when he talked and would pull me back by my hair.”  
“¿A quién tengo que matar y dónde puedo encontrarlo?” (Who do I have to kill and where can I find him?)  
“I don’t understand your question, but you look angry, so I’ll tell you that there’s nothing you can do about it. He took off a few days after I cut my hair.”

He just looks at me for a second before pulling my face to his and kissing me deeply. We stay like that, just kissing until there’s a knock at the door. I disengage and get up to answer it.  
“You’re not the delivery guy with our dinner.”  
“I came to see if you wanted company…But I see you already have some.”  
He looks past me towards Eli and glares before saying:  
“Navarro.”  
Eli has a shit-eating grin on his face when he says:  
“Sheriff.”  
“Well, if that’ll be all…Eli and I will be getting back to our evening.”  
I go to close the door, but Lamb holds it open. He says in a low voice:  
“This is not why I gave your dad that information, Mars.”  
“Aw…I’m sorry. Did you want some alone time with me even though I reminded you that I’m a minor and told you I wasn’t interested? How unfortunate.”  
“You were interested in Seattle.”  
“I was drunk in Seattle.”  
“He’s a criminal.”  
“So?”  
“So, you can do better.”

I move my hands in a scale movement and say:  
“Hmmm…super sexy, age-appropriate biker or old, less sexy, biggest mistake of my life sheriff? Let me think…”  
“Less sexy?!? Seriously?”

Eli laughs from the couch and says:  
“Walk away, Sheriff.”  
Lamb removes his hand from the door and runs his fingers down my cheek before he says:  
“Veronica, you know where to find me if you change your mind.”  
“Yeah, not going to happen.”  
I close the door and walk back over to the couch. Eli grabs me as I get close to him and pulls me back down onto his lap.  
“Super sexy, huh V?”  
“Don’t get excited, vato.”

I lean down to kiss him again, but he stops me.  
“There’s something I need to tell you before we get too involved.”  
“Okay…”  
“Lilly and I…we were involved. I thought maybe she was someone I could love, but she just kept going back to Echolls.”  
“Okay.”  
“Okay, is all you have to say?”  
“Are you over her?”  
“Yeah, but I have a tattoo of her name.”  
“I have a tattoo for her too. Quite a pair we make, huh?”  
“You’re okay with this? Really?”  
“Yeah…can you kiss me now, please?”

He pulls my face towards him and kisses me again. I groan against his mouth a few minutes later when there’s a knock at the door. As I’m getting up he groans:  
“Dios mío.” (My God.)  
“Agreed.”  
I walk over to the door and open it. Corny is on the other side with my pizza. I take the pizza and pay him before giving him a quick hug.  
“Are you actually back, Veronica?”  
“Yup. Back for Senior year.”  
“Awesome. Well, see you around.”  
“See ya, Corny.”

I close the door and carry the pizza over to the coffee table. When I put it down, I say:  
“You want a drink?”  
“Sure. I’ll take whatever.”

I open the fridge and say:  
“Your options are water…or water.”  
“Guess I’ll take water.”  
I grab two bottles and walk back over to the couch, sitting down next to Eli. I hand him his water, and he says:  
“I didn’t realize you and Corny were hugging friends.”  
“We aren’t usually. But I haven’t seen him in almost two years. And I have known him my whole life.”  
“You’ve known a lot of people your whole life…Are you going to hug all of them?”  
“It’s a possibility.”  
I look at him, and his jaw is clenched.  
“Are you jealous, Eli?”  
“It’s a possibility.”

I put down my water and take his out of his hand before placing it on the coffee table with mine. Once the waters are out of the way, I stand up and hold my hand out.  
“Come with me.”

He takes my hand and stands up before following me down the hall. When we get in my room, he pushes the door mostly closed, and I take off my shirt and shorts before walking over to him and pulling his shirt off.  
“Veronica…are you sure about this?”  
I undo his belt and pants as I say:  
“Yes.”  
“This is the first time in almost two years that we’ve seen each other, and this was not something we did then.”  
“This isn’t something I did with anyone then.”  
“You and Duncan never?”  
“Nope.”  
“But you have since then?”  
“Yup. You want to keep asking questions, or do you want to fuck me?”

He growls and picks me up, wrapping my legs around his waist as he walks us to the bed. He lays me down and takes his jeans and boxers off before climbing on top of me. He kisses me again before moving his mouth along my jaw and down my neck, kissing, licking, and biting. When he gets to my chest, he gently bites my breasts through my bra, causing me to arch my back, which allows him to undo my bra.  
“Eli…please.”

He pulls my bra off and takes one nipple in his mouth, sucking and nibbling on it while rolling the other nipple between his index finger and thumb. I squirm under him, gasping as he moves his mouth off my nipple. He reaches down and takes off my panties, pulling them off my legs. He runs his hand over my core, dipping his fingers into my entrance and brushing his thumb over my clit.   
“Dios, V.”  
“Eli, please…I want you.”  
“Te tengo nena.” (I got you baby.)

He slides two fingers into me, pumping them as his thumb rubs on my clit. It doesn’t take long before I am screaming his name. He gently pulls his hand away from me and kisses me.  
“Condom V?”  
“My purse, on the desk.”

He walks over to the desk, fishes around in my purse, finds a condom and puts it on as he walks back over to me. He climbs back onto the bed, holding his weight above me.   
“¿Estás segura bebé?” (Are you sure baby?)

I wrap my foot around his leg and my hand around his arm and flip us, so I’m on top.  
“Yes. I’m sure.”  
“Holy shit, V. That was hot.”  
“Self defence classes.”

I line him up with my entrance and sink down onto him. It takes a second to adjust, but then I start moving. He sits up while holding me in place, it changes the angle and feels fantastic.   
“I might not last long, V. It’s been a while, and you feel so good.”

He tangles his hand in my hair and kisses me while his other hand rubs my clit. I come moaning his name into his mouth, and he follows a moment later, saying:  
“Dios Veronica.”

I move off of him, and he removes the condom and disposes of it before lying back down next to me.  
“Do you have plans this weekend?”  
“Not until church on Sunday morning…why?”  
“Do you want to stay? Dad’s gone until Monday.”  
“I’ll stay if you agree to come to church and family dinner on Sunday.”  
“…Family dinner?”  
“It’s tradition. Besides, you know my Abuelita already. She used to love you. It’ll be good for you to be around family.”  
“They aren’t my family, Eli. They won’t mind me coming?”  
“I’m not going to lie to you. It might be awkward at first with some of them, but if Abuelita loves you, they’ll fall in line.”  
“Okay.”

We lay there for a minute or so, then my stomach growls.  
“We should feed you.”  
He gets out of bed and puts his jeans on, then reaches a hand out to me.  
“Levantate cariño.” (Get up sweetheart.)  
I stand up and pull on my panties and his shirt. Then we head out to the living room. As we sit down, the phone rings. I reach over Eli to grab it and answer it:  
“Hello?”  
“Veronica.”  
“Hi, Dad.”  
“I got a phone call from Lamb saying that he went by the apartment to check on you, and you and Eli were very cozy on the couch. Is this true?”  
“Yes. It’s true. We’re enjoying each other’s company…But I feel like I should point out that Lamb didn’t come over to check on me. He came over because he wants me to sleep with him. He made that very clear this afternoon and again when he was here this evening.”  
“Is that something you need my help dealing with? I know you had to deal with a lot of crap with Lianne’s various boyfriends.”  
“I’m fine, Daddy. Besides, I’m pretty sure Eli would kill him if he tried anything.”  
“So, you and Eli? Should I expect you two to officially be dating by the time I get home?”  
“Possibly.”  
“I’d be more comfortable if you found a boyfriend who didn’t have a record as thick as the LA phone book, but I like Eli. So if he’s going to treat you well, then I accept it.”  
“Thanks, Dad. See you when you get home.”  
“Yeah…Veronica? Be safe.”  
“Yes, Dad.”

I hang up and look at Eli.  
“Did you hear all that?”  
“Yeah…I just got your Dad’s approval to date you.”  
“Yeah, you did.”

I shift how I’m sitting, so my legs are across Eli’s lap, and I turn on the tv. The South Park movie is on, so we watch that while we eat our pizza.   
“I need to go get some clothes, V. Do you want to come with me?”  
“Yeah. It’s still early enough, right? I don’t want to bother your grandma.”  
“It’s still early enough. I am going to need my shirt, and you are going to need clothes that cover your arms and legs, though. We’ll have to buy you a leather jacket soon.”  
“I have a leather jacket. The guys I dated in Seattle had motorcycles.”  
“Got a thing for bikers, huh babe?”  
“Yeah. You could say that. Actually, the last guy kind of looked like you.”

He kisses me and then says:  
“What happened between the last guy and you?”  
“Mom.”  
“She forbade it or what?”  
“She got drunk and propositioned him. He accepted her offer.”  
“He fucked your mom?!”  
“Yup.”  
“Es un jodido idiota.” (He’s a fucking idiot.)  
“Yeah…So we broke up, and then a few days later, Mom and I had a fight. She got plastered and took off. She wrapped the car around a telephone pole five blocks from our apartment.”

He pulls me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me and pressing his lips to my temple.  
“Oh mi amor. Lo siento mucho.” (Oh my love. I’m so sorry.)  
“Estoy bien.” (I’m fine.)  
“I’m sure you are. But if you ever aren’t, I’m here.”  
“Let’s go get you your clothes.”

I kiss him and then stand up before taking off his shirt and handing it to him. I then walk down the hall to my room.  
“Jesus, Veronica. Are you trying to kill me?”  
I laugh and step into my room. It only takes me a couple of minutes to find an outfit and get dressed. On my way out of my room, I grab my jacket and my purse. I walk back out to the living room and say:  
“You ready to go?”  
He looks at me and blinks.  
“You should only wear this…like ever.”

As he stands up, I reach for him and kiss him.  
“It’s just jeans and a t-shirt. You are easy to please.”

I grab my keys from the counter, and we leave the apartment, locking the door behind us. 

When we get to Eli’s house, he takes my hand as we walk up the front steps. We walk in the house, and from the other room, Mrs. Navarro says:  
“Eli? Is that you? How did things go with Sheriff Mars?”  
“The sheriff had to go out of town, Abuelita. So Veronica helped me.”  
“Veronica’s home?”  
We can hear her moving around in the kitchen, so that’s where Eli leads me.  
“Veronica’s here, actually, Abuelita.”  
“Hola señora Navarro.” (Hello Mrs. Navarro.)

When we walk into the kitchen, Mrs. Navarro turns around with a broad smile on her face.  
“Veronica, dear! Oh, I’m so glad to see you.”  
Mrs. Navarro looks at us, in particular, our joined hands and says:  
“¿Querido? ¿Estás tú y Veronica saliendo?” (Dear? Are you and Veronica dating?)  
“Yes.”

Mrs. Navarro comes over and wraps me in a hug. I let go of Eli’s hand to wrap my arms around his grandmother, relaxing into her embrace. She whispers in my ear:  
“Oh mi dulce niña. Siempre te he amado. Serás tan bueno para mi Eli.” (Oh my sweet girl. I have always loved you. You will be so good for my Eli.)  
“I don’t know about that, but I’ll try.”

She lets go of me and steps back so she can see my face.  
“I was very sad to hear about your mother, Veronica. I’m sorry you had to go through that alone. But I’m happy you are home. You must come to family dinner on Sunday.”  
“That’s what Eli said. I’ll be at church and dinner. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to steal him for the weekend. Dad had to leave town, and I don’t want to be alone.”  
“No problem at all, dear. Here, sit down, and you and I will have some dessert while Eli collects his things.”

I sit down at the table and Eli steps towards me and kisses my head before whispering:  
“Te dije que ella te ama.” (I told you that she loves you.)  
He leaves the room, and Mrs. Navarro brings two bowls of ice cream to the table.  
“Rocky road…my favourite.”  
“Eli’s too.”  
“I remember that from when we were kids…he didn’t grow out of that?”  
“You didn’t.”  
“Yeah, but he always acted like he was too good for ice cream…even at nine.”  
“Oh, sweet girl…He was always trying to impress you. He thought if he acted older, more mature, that you’d be interested in him.”

Eli walks in the room then and says:  
“Abuelita. No le digas a Veronica mis secretos.” (Grandma. Don’t tell Veronica my secrets.)  
“Oh, Eli. I think it’s okay that she knows now, don’t you?”  
“No.”

He sits down next to me, and I offer him a spoonful of my ice cream.  
“Don’t pout, babe.”  
“No estoy haciendo pucheros.” (I’m not pouting.)

I kiss him on the cheek, then we finish the ice cream and stand up to go.   
“Thank you for dessert Mrs. Navarro.”  
“You’re very welcome, Veronica. I’ll see you on Sunday.”  
“Is there anything I can bring to dinner?”  
“No, my dear. You are a guest.”

We both give Mrs. Navarro a hug before leaving the house. When we get outside, I grab Eli’s hand and say:  
“Can we talk for a second?”  
“About what Abuelita said?”  
“Yeah.”  
“She was right. I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.”  
“So…why?”  
“Why, Lilly? Because she was already damaged. You were perfect and pristine, and I didn’t want to ruin you. Lilly…was not.”  
“You wouldn’t have ruined me.”  
“Si, tendrai mi amor.” (Yes I would have my love.)  
“Let’s go.”

When we get back to my apartment, I unlock the door and go inside. I know he’s following me, but I just need a minute, so I go to my bathroom and close the door between us.   
“Veronica…Abre la puerta.” (Open the door.)  
“I just need a minute, Eli.”  
“Solo ven a hablarme.” (Just come talk to me.)

I open the door and say:  
“Speak English…please. I told you, my Spanish isn’t great, and I’m having trouble translating right now.”  
“I’m sorry, V. Come sit with me. We’ll talk.”

I follow him as he walks over to my bed and sits down with his back against the wall. He grabs my hand and pulls me up into his lap, wrapping his arms around me.   
“You were seven the first time we met. Do you remember?”  
“Yeah. You were eight, and we were at the park. Mom had taken me, and one of your older cousins had brought you.”  
“You were trying to do the monkey bars. You kept falling. By the time I got there, both your knees were bleeding, and you had a big cut on your arm, but you just kept trying. I think I fell in love with you at that moment.”  
“You suggested that I sit on your shoulders and practice the movements before trying with my full weight again. I was so impressed by you. You had this swagger, even then, like you knew you were better than everyone else.”  
“Not you. I was a sucker for Veronica Mars…Even then.”  
“You started coming to my soccer games…You came for years, then you just…stopped.”  
“You met Logan, remember? I watched you with him that first day, you looked so happy. I didn’t want to intrude.”  
“You weren’t intruding. You were one of my best friends. I loved you, then you just vanished and started getting in trouble.”  
“Yeah…and then I was a criminal, and you were still perfect. I didn’t want to drag you down with me.”  
“Then, I started dating Duncan.”  
“And you changed. You went from being this spunky, outgoing, bubbly, fearless tomboy to being this docile, shy cheerleader.”  
“It’s what Duncan wanted…It was shit.”  
“And yet? I was still in love with you. I think Lilly knew. I think that’s why she pursued me. I think she wanted to protect you, and she knew that eventually, I would give in to my feelings.”  
“I’m not that girl anymore.”  
“I know. You’re you again. This badass, sexy, amazingly perfect girl. And I’m still in love with you.”

We’re both quiet for a moment, processing and enjoying being curled together, then I say:  
“Do you ever think about how things would have been different if you hadn’t left me to them? Like, maybe I would have stayed more true to myself if I had another force exerting his will on me? Maybe my life wouldn’t have just fallen apart when Lilly died?”  
“Maybe we would have gotten together sooner, and I wouldn’t have had my heart curb-stomped by Lilly Kane? Yeah, babe. I think about it.”

I curl more into his chest, listening to his heartbeat, and say:  
“You wouldn’t have ruined me…”  
“Te quiero.” (I love you.)  
“I love you too.”  
We sit there like that for a while before I say:  
“How about a shower and then bed? It’s been a long day.”  
“Shower together or separately?”  
“Well, we’ve already seen each other naked, and if I remember what Dad told me, there isn’t much hot water, so we’re probably better off sharing.”  
“You’re not gonna hear a complaint from me, V.”

We get up and shower before putting on pyjamas and climbing into bed. I put my head on his chest and curl into him as he wraps his arms around me. As my breathing evens out and I start to fall asleep, I hear him whisper:  
“Buenas noches mi amor, dulces sueños.” (Goodnight my love, sweet dreams.)

I should have expected the Lilly dream. I mean, first night back in Neptune, sharing a bed with a guy she used to have sex with? There was no way she wasn’t making an appearance. But when she showed up, it took me by surprise. I hadn’t had a dream about her in months…Not since Mom’s boyfriend…Nope. Not thinking about that right now. 

As usual, during one of these dreams, Lilly and I are in my old room, but this time Eli is lying in bed next to me. Lilly runs her fingers over the side of his face and says:  
“I told you that you weren’t yellow cotton Veronica Mars.”  
“Why did you take him, Lilly? Did you actually care about him? Or was it just so he wouldn’t want me anymore?”  
“He seems to still want you, Ronnie.”  
“Answer the question.”  
“You weren’t ready for him then. He would have ruined you. I was protecting you.”  
“How would he have ruined me, Lilly?”  
“I needed to protect your innocence as long as I could…That’s why I kept Eli from you. That’s why I kept Logan from you. That’s why I pushed you towards Donut. I knew that he would keep you innocent.”  
“But why?”  
“You were the one pristine part of my life, Veronica Mars. You kept me…human. I needed you to stay that way. I know that’s selfish, but let’s face it, that’s kind of my thing.”

She puts her hand on my cheek and says:  
“You need to tell him everything that happened in Seattle, Ronnie. He loves you, but he needs to know.”

I’m crying in my dream now, which means I’m crying in my sleep...Joy.  
“He won’t want me anymore.”  
“Don’t underestimate him. He’s not going anywhere.”

I hear another voice breaking through my dream, just a whisper:  
“Despierta mi amor. Está bien. Estoy aquí.” (Wake up my love. It’s okay. I’m here.)

Lilly looks at me and says:  
“I’ll see you again, Veronica. Let him see who you really are.”  
And then she’s gone, and I’m in my dark bedroom, curled into Eli’s chest with him whispering:  
“Despierta mi amor. Está bien. Estoy aquí.” (Wake up my love. It’s okay. I’m here.)  
“I’m awake. I’m sorry.”  
“What was your dream about?”  
“Lilly.”  
“Memories or a new conversation, like she’s right in the fucking room?”

I sit up and look at him.  
“You see her too?”  
“Not a lot. I saw her last night, though. First time in months.”  
“This was the first time in months for me too.”  
“What did you talk about?”  
“You.”  
“She mad?”  
“No. She told me why she went after you, and then told me that you love me and not to underestimate you.”  
“What part of that made you cry?”  
“The part where she told me that I have to tell you everything that happened in Seattle…And not to be afraid that you would leave.”

He rolls, so he’s on his side, facing me, and I do the same. He’s got his hand on my waist like he can’t stand to not be touching me, and I’m tracing one of his chest tattoos. 

“What happened in Seattle, my love?”  
“You have to promise you won’t get mad first. There’s nothing you can do about it, so there’s no point getting angry.”  
“I can’t make that promise. I will try my hardest to stay calm, but if someone hurt you, I’m going to get mad.”

I just look at him for a minute…Quietly thinking about what I am going to say.  
“Cariño dime ahora.” (Honey tell me now.)  
“Estoy tratando de encontrar las palabras.” (I’m trying to find the words.)  
“Don’t worry about finding the right words, V. Just talk.”  
I lean over and kiss him before settling back on my pillow.  
“Just in case you do decide to flee after I tell you everything.”  
“Babe. I’m not going anywhere. Tell me.”

I take a deep breath and say:  
“Right after we moved to Seattle, Mom started dating the hair-pulling asshole. He was a yeller, and when I would walk away from him, he would pull me back by my hair. One night he pulled so hard a chunk of hair actually came out. When I finally got away from him, I took scissors to my ponytail. Like I said earlier, he took off a few days later. I kind of wish I had just put up with that though because the more Mom drank, the worse her boyfriends got, and the longer we were in Seattle, the more she drank. There was one amazing boyfriend after the hair-pulling one, but he wasn’t around for long. The next boyfriend hit her when he drank. He never touched me, though…He was actually pretty nice to me most of the time. The one after that was the worst, though.”

He moves his hand off of my waist and puts it on my neck, running his thumb over my cheekbone.  
“¿Qué hizo él mi amor?” (What did he do my love?)

“When Mom would drink so much she passed out, he would climb into bed with me. I put locks on my door to keep him out, but eventually, he got pissed enough that he just took the door off the hinges. After Mom finally broke up with him, I started taking the self-defence lessons. When Mom slightly sobered up, I told her what he had done, but she blamed me. Said I must have seduced him. That’s when she retaliated by fucking my boyfriend.”  
“¿Por qué no viniste a casa?” (Why didn’t you come home?)  
“I thought being here would be worse. When I left, Duncan had just broken up with me, Lilly was dead, and Logan had turned everyone else against me because I sided with Dad.”  
“If you had been here, I would have protected you.”  
“You don’t know that, Eli. It’s easy to say that, but we don’t actually know what would have happened if I had stayed.”  
“Sé que nunca dejaría que nadie te lastimara.” (I know I would never let anyone hurt you.)

I lean over and kiss him.   
“We weren’t even speaking before I left, Eli. You walked past me in the school hallways pretending you didn’t know me.”  
“And yet. If someone had tried to hurt you, I would have killed them.”  
“That’s not everything that happened.”  
“I’m listening.”  
“When Mom died, I blamed myself. I couldn’t cope. The police didn’t notify Dad. I told them I would…but I didn’t call him right away. I went out with some friends, got my hands on a bunch of pills. Went home and took the pills with about a bottle of gin.”  
“What the fuck, Veronica? You tried to kill yourself?”  
“That was my original plan, but when the pills started to kick in, I got scared and called 911. I was in the hospital on a psychiatric hold for three days. The hospital called Dad, and I had to tell him about Mom. He came to Seattle and packed up the apartment and moved everything here. He brought me my laptop bag and a bag of clothes to the hospital, but he wasn’t allowed to see me, so I didn’t actually see him until I got off the plane here.”

He slides the hand that’s on my neck to the back of my head and leans in to kiss me. He moves closer to me and pulls me tight to him as he kisses me deeper.  
“Estoy tan feliz de que hayas cambiado de opinión, cariño.” (I’m so happy you changed your mind, honey.)  
“I was so scared, Eli. It seemed like the ambulance took forever, and being in the hospital wasn’t any better.”  
“But you’re okay now, right? No more latent desire to die?”  
“I’m okay. I promise.”  
“Eso es bueno. Porque no quiero perderte de nuevo.” (That’s good. Because I don’t want to lose you again.)  
“You’re stuck with me, Eli.”

He kisses me again and says:  
“I have some questions. Are you okay if I ask them now, or do you want me to wait until tomorrow?”  
“Ask…But can you keep holding me while you do?”  
“Always. I’m not going anywhere, baby.”  
He looks at me like he’s trying to decide which question to start with.  
“Please tell me you lost your virginity before the touchy-feely boyfriend.”  
“Yes.”  
“No expansion on that?”  
“I was drunk, and it was a stupid decision.”  
“Was it at least with someone you liked?”  
“No. He’s pretty despicable, actually. He came to Seattle to take another statement about Lilly’s death. Followed me to a party. Once I was drunk, he talked me into coming to his hotel with him.”  
“It was Lamb?!?!”  
“Yeah. It’s not a big deal, Eli.”  
“Your first time should have been with someone who loved you.”  
“Yeah, well…That wasn’t an option. My second time was with someone who loved me, though.”

He just looks at me.  
“Next question?”  
“Your Mom didn’t notice that he took your door off the hinges?”  
“She did. She just didn’t care.”  
“How many guys did you date while you were there?”  
“A couple.”  
“Two? Three?”  
“Two actual boyfriends.”  
“Define actual boyfriends.”  
“Went out on dates for at least a month? One I dated for almost a year.”  
“How many not actual boyfriends?”  
“Are you asking how many people I had sex with?”  
“Yeah. I guess that’s what I’m asking.”  
“Five…Six if you count the boyfriend that welcomed himself to my body.”  
“Did any of them mean anything to you?”  
“The one boyfriend could have been something, but…he had to leave town.”  
“The one that looked like me?”  
“I said, kind of like you. You are way, way hotter. But no. Not that one.”  
“Would it be okay if I ask more questions, and we talk about this further another day? I’m sure there’s more to discuss, I just…Can’t think of it right now.”  
“Yeah. We can talk another day.”  
“Just one more thing…You’re okay, right? You’ve seen a doctor since the asshole?”  
“Yeah. I went to the doctor after, and when I was on my psychiatric hold, they examined me again.”  
“Good.”

He pulls me closer to him, so I end up wrapped around him with my face pressed into his neck.  
“Te quiero. Vuelve a dormir mi dulce niña.” (I love you. Go back to sleep my sweet girl.)  
“Do I have to?”  
“What would you rather do instead?”  
“¿Hazme el amor?” (Make love to me?)  
“Aren’t you tired, baby?”  
“I need to feel that you still love me.”  
“And you can’t feel that from the cuddling?”  
“Si no quieres, está bien. Vuelve a dormir.” (If you don’t want to, that’s fine.)  
“Veronica…”  
“No, it’s fine. I’m going to go for a run. I’ll be back in a bit.”

I get out of bed and grab my exercise clothes, and head into the bathroom to change. When I come back out, I grab my runners and head out to the living room. As I’m tying my shoes, Eli comes out of the bedroom.  
“Come back to bed V.”  
“In a bit. I just need some air.”  
“Veronica…”  
“Everything’s fine, Eli. Go back to bed. I’ll be back before you know it.”  
“Veronica. Estas siendo ridiculo. Solo porque no quiero tener sexo en este momento no significa que no te amo.” (Veronica. You’re being ridiculous. Just because I don’t want to have sex right now doesn’t mean I don’t love you.)  
“No creo que eso sea lo que significa.” (I don’t think that’s what it means.)

I grab my keys and put them in my pocket, and walk towards the door. When I open it to go outside, Eli’s hand slams it shut again.  
“Don’t go, Veronica. I’m afraid if you go, I’m going to lose you.”  
“You aren’t. I love you. I just need to clear my head and not think for a while.”  
“Come back to bed. I’ll help you not think.”  
“No. You didn’t want to. Running works just as well. Go back to bed, Eli.”  
“Fine…But if I wake up in the morning and you aren’t in my arms, I’m going to be annoyed.”


	2. Day Two

I lean towards him and kiss him, then leave the apartment. It’s pitch black outside when I start my run, but by the time I get back to the apartment, the sun is rising. I let myself into the apartment and head to the bathroom to shower. As I walk through my room, I see that Eli is sound asleep, sprawled across the bed. I strip on my way through the bedroom and step into the shower. I’m just finishing rinsing my hair when Eli steps into the shower behind me. He turns me around, wraps his arms around me, and growls:  
“You were not in bed when I woke up.”  
“I just got back. I was all sweaty and gross. Figured I’d shower before I climbed into bed.”  
“Are you finished rinsing your hair?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Good.”

He pulls me closer to himself and kisses me, pushing me back against the wall of the shower. He kisses down my body as he lowers himself to his knees. He lifts one of my legs over his shoulder and starts licking at my core. He eats me out until I orgasm, which conveniently is the exact moment the hot water gives out. I reach over and turn off the water, shivering. Eli stands up and whispers in my ear:  
“Let’s go back to bed, baby.”

We step out of the shower, and he picks me up. I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.   
“Te quiero.” (I love you.)  
“¿Todavía me amas?” (You still love me?)  
“Siempre.” (Always.)  
He kisses me deeply, then lays me down and makes love to me. It’s slow and gentle, exactly what I need right now.

A few hours later, we’re out of bed and getting dressed when someone knocks on the door. Eli is just wearing pants, but he’s more dressed than I am, so he goes to answer the door while I finish getting dressed. I can hear two male voices, one is Eli, but I don’t recognize the other. Once I have clothes on, I walk out to the living room. There is a teenage boy sitting on my couch that I don’t know.  
“Who are you?”

Before the boy can answer, Eli says:  
“His name’s Wallace. He’s in our class. If you had been here last year, the two of you would probably be friends.”

Eli walks out to finish getting dressed, and I say to Wallace:  
“So…why are you here, Wallace?”  
“I wanted to introduce myself. Our parents are dating, so I thought you might want to hang out sometime. Since you’re new again.”  
“Was this your idea, or my Dad’s?”  
“Mr. Mars mentioned you were coming home and that before you left, your friends had deserted you. I thought we could be friends.”  
“Is that because you don’t have friends already?”  
“No. Listen, sister, I have friends. I’m just trying to be nice here. You don’t want to hang out? Fine. No skin off my nose.”

Eli walks back into the room and says:  
“V…We duct-taped this kid to the flag pole on the first day of school last year for pressing the silent alarm at the Sac-n-Pac when two of my idiot boys shoplifted booze. He not only took it really well, but he also helped get my boys off. He’s good people. You’ll like him. Give him a chance.”  
“Who do you hang out with?”  
“I’m on the basketball team, so them mostly…But I made friends with this girl Mac last year after she posted this purity test that ranks people based on their sexual experiences. She’s a fucking genius. You’ll like her.”  
“A purity test? I wonder what my score would be?”

Eli snorts and says:  
“So fucking low, V. You fucked the sheriff.”  
I smack his chest and say:  
“Yeah? I fucked you too, so what does that say about you?”

Wallace raises his hand and says:  
“I’m sorry, but you fucked the sheriff? Like, Sheriff Don Lamb? That sheriff?”  
“I was really drunk.”  
“Well, you’d have to be, wouldn’t you?”

We all laugh at that.  
“I like you, Wallace. Yes, I think we could be friends.”  
“Cool. There’s a party tonight. You guys wanna go?”  
“A normal people party or an 09er party?”  
“09er. At dog beach.”

I look at Eli, and he nods.  
“Will all your boys be going or just us?”  
“They’ll probably show up. They never turn down the opportunity to annoy Echolls.”  
“Oh yes, annoying Logan…Delightful. Call them.”

I look at Wallace and say:  
“What time?”  
“Starts at 9. I’ll meet you in the parking lot?”  
“Yeah, no room on the bike for you, buddy…Speaking of which, Eli, I need a car. Know anyone selling one?”

He nods and says:  
“I’m sure I can find something for you, babe.”

Wallace says:  
“I’m going to take off. I’ll see you guys tonight. If you don’t spot me in the lot, look for Mac. She’s got blue hair.”  
“Will do.”

Wallace leaves, and Eli makes a call.  
“Felix…The boys up for an 09er party tonight?”  
…  
“Dog Beach at 10.”  
…  
“Well, yeah, it starts at 9, but it’s always nice to let them think they’re going to have an unaccosted evening.”  
…  
“Nah, man. I’m bringing my new girl.”  
…  
“You’ll like her, Felix. She’s cool.”  
…  
“No. She’s mine. Make sure the boys are aware. She’s not to be touched.”  
…  
“Yeah. See you tonight.”

Eli hangs up and wraps his arms around me.   
“So it’s 4pm now. We don’t have to be at Dog Beach until 9. Should I feed you?”  
“Yes.”  
“Is there food in the house?”  
“I don’t know. You’ve been here practically as long as I have.”  
“I’ll run to the store. Is there anything you need?”  
“Ooh. Yes. I’ll make you a list.”

I quickly scribble out a list of the ingredients for snickerdoodles and hand it to him.  
“You gonna make cookies, V?”  
“Yeah. I thought I could take them to dinner tomorrow.”  
“Abuelita said you didn’t need to bring anything.”  
“I know, but I was taught that it’s rude to show up to dinner without something.”  
“Okay. Cookies it is. I’ll be right back.”

While Eli is gone, I decide to do my hair for tonight. I braid the front back on one side in six small braids and curl the rest. I use a fair amount of hair product to keep the curls in place even after being in the helmet later. When I’m done that and Eli still isn’t back, I shave my legs to make sure they are mini skirt ready. He gets back as I’m shaving the second leg. He leans against the bathroom door frame and watches me.  
“Foot in the sink…an interesting technique for someone so short.”  
“I’m very flexible.”  
“Oh, I know, babe.”  
“Did you get everything?”  
“Yup. I got salads for dinner.”  
“Really?”  
“And lasagne. It’s in the oven.”  
“Good boy.”

When I’m done with my legs, we walk out to the living room. He wraps his arms around me and says:  
“I like your hair.”  
“It should be helmet proof.”  
“How about convertible proof? I borrowed a car.”  
“Should be convertible proof too. And that actually works better for me. I’m planning on wearing a mini skirt.”  
“Well, if you like this car, it’s yours, so make sure you play with all the things.”  
“Really? A convertible for me?”  
“Yeah. A ’66 Mustang. Red.”  
“I’m not really a mechanically-inclined individual…”  
“Good thing your boyfriend is, huh?”  
“That is handy.”

After we eat dinner, Eli sits on the couch with a book, and I start making cookies. When the first batch comes out, he comes over to try one.  
“Damn. The girl can bake.”  
“But the girl can’t cook. So don’t get any ideas.”  
Once the next batch of cookies is in the oven, I dig out two containers, one large and one small, and start loading the first batch into the small container.  
“Those for us?”  
“Nope. They’re for Wallace.”  
“Why does Wallace get cookies, and I don’t?”  
“You get cookies tomorrow at dinner. Wallace gets a small container of cookies tonight. Also, you just ate a cookie.”  
“But why does Wallace get cookies?”  
“Because he’s willing to be my friend? Also, his Mom is apparently dating my Dad…Maybe sending cookies home will make her like me.”  
“How could she not like you?”  
“I’m difficult and snarky. Sometimes parents don’t like me.”  
“Hmm…Abuelita loves you.”  
“I know. But Celeste Kane always hated me.”  
“Maybe Celeste Kane is just a bitch?”  
“Maybe.”

When I’m done making the cookies, I’ve made six batches, so they easily fill the container for dinner tomorrow and the cookie jar on the counter, plus giving Eli a few to eat now.  
“You’re going to spoil me, V.”  
“Gotta keep my man happy.”

I quickly wash the dishes from the baking, then head to my room to get ready for the party. Eli follows me into the bedroom and says:  
“What are you wearing, babe?’

I pull a black denim mini skirt and a black and red corset-style halter top out of the closet.   
“With your leather jacket and black ankle boots?”  
“I was thinking of black tennis shoes since we’ll be on the sand, but yes to the jacket.”  
“Can you walk on the sand in the ankle boots?”  
“Yes. Do you want me to wear the ankle boots, Eli?”  
“Yes. Very much, yes.”  
“Fine. Pick a pair of boots, and I’ll wear them.”

I walk over to the dresser and pull out a strapless bra and matching boy-cut panties, then put all of my clothes on the bed and pull off the clothes I’m currently wearing. I get dressed with Eli staring at me, his eyes dark.  
“You can’t undress me until after the party, dear.”  
“Eres tan jodidamente sexy, nena.” (You are so fucking sexy babe.)

Once I’m dressed, I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and do my make up: red lips and grey smokey eyes. I put in large silver hoop earrings and put on the necklace that Lilly gave me. I then walk out of the bathroom and watch as Eli changes into black jeans and a tight grey tank.   
“You’re staring again, Veronica.”  
“You’re so fucking hot.”  
I put my boots and jacket on, and then say:  
“What time is it?”  
“8:30.”  
“Excellent timing.”

I put my ID and some money in my pocket and say:  
“Can you put the keys in your pocket? I don’t want to bring my bag.”  
“Of course.”

He puts his jacket on as we walk out of the apartment, me carrying Wallace’s cookies, and him with the keys. We lock up, and he takes my hand as we walk to the car.

It doesn’t take long to get to Dog Beach, so we’re in the parking lot when Wallace pulls in. We walk over to his car, and I hand him the container of cookies.  
“Cookies? For me?”  
“Yeah…Well, maybe you can share them with your Mom?”  
“Ah…a bribe for the future stepmom. I understand.”  
“They’re snickerdoodles.”  
“Snickerdoodles are my favourite cookies in the world. How did you know?”  
“I didn’t. Just a happy coincidence.”

A few minutes later, a girl pulls in the lot.   
“Hey, Mac’s here.”  
She walks over to us and says:  
“Veronica?”  
“Yeah, that’s me.”  
“You used to be all bubble gum pink and pep. What happened?”  
“You remember me from before?”  
“Yeah. You used to be all people talked about. You and Duncan, You and Lilly, You and Logan.”  
“Ah, well, the bubblegum and pep Veronica died when Lilly did.”

Eli wraps his arms around me and says:  
“This Veronica is so much better anyway.”  
“Thanks, babe.”  
He kisses my cheek and says:  
“It sounds like the party has started. Shall we? We have about an hour to have a little fun before my boys get here.”

Wallace and Mac both say:  
“Let’s go.”  
And start walking towards the beach. I hesitate, and Eli says:  
“It’s okay if you don’t want to do this, baby.”  
“No. Let’s go. It’ll be fun.”

He puts his arm around my shoulders, and I put mine around his waist, and we follow Mac and Wallace to the beach. The closer the four of us get to the bonfire, the warmer it is until I finally say to Eli:  
“It’s too warm for the leather jacket.”  
“Yeah. Give it to me. I’ll go throw them in the trunk and meet you down there. Stay with Wallace and Mac.”

As Eli walks away, Wallace puts an arm around Mac’s waist and then his other around my waist.   
“Just so we don’t get separated.”  
“Sure, Papa Bear.”  
“Papa Bear? Really?”  
“Yup.”  
Mac and I both giggle at the look on Wallace’s face. We walk onto the beach laughing. When we get down to where people are dancing, I step away from Wallace and take Mac’s hand.  
“Come dance with me.”  
“Fine. But I draw the line at making out.”  
“Deal.”

I wrap my arms around her waist, and she puts her hands on my hips, and we start moving to the music. By the time Eli comes back from dropping off the jackets, Mac and I are pressed close together, moving to the music with our faces positioned so our mouths are next to the other’s ear so we can chat about all the idiots staring at us with their mouths hanging open. Eli and Wallace just look at each other, shake their heads and say:  
“We’ll go get drinks.”

The guys walk away, and Mac and I keep dancing, grinding against each other to the beat and chatting. Suddenly there’s a voice behind my head saying:  
“Ghost World…Who’s your friend?”  
I let go of Mac and turn around.  
“Hi, Dick.”  
“…Ronnie?”  
“Yup. I’m home! Surprise!”  
“You look…different.”  
“Multiple years away from home will do that.”  
“When did you get home and are you single? Because you are smoking hot.”  
“I got home yesterday. And no, but thanks for the compliment, I guess?”

Before Dick can say anything else, Eli and Wallace get back. Eli wraps his arm around my waist from behind me and hands me a drink.  
“Here, babe. Sorry, it took so long.”  
“Thanks.”  
I take the drink from Eli and say:  
“¿Lo vertiste tú mismo?” (Did you pour it yourself?)  
“Por supuesto.” (Of course.)  
“Gracias amor.” (Thank you love.)

Dick starts to look uncomfortable, and I notice him glancing at a place on the other side of the fire. I look over there and make eye contact with Logan, who gets this evil little smirk on his face and starts walking towards us. I chug my beer and say:  
“Jackass incoming.”  
“I can get rid of him if you want, V.”  
“No. Let’s see what he has to say. Just don’t leave me alone with him.”  
“Never, my love.”

Wallace and Mac say:  
“We’re just going to be over…there. You know, just in case a fight breaks out?”

They walk away as Logan stops in front of us and says:  
“Veronica Mars. You’re back. I thought you had run off with Mommy. Did she abandon you? Where is she these days?”  
“In an urn on my Dad’s dresser. Where’s yours?”

The smirk disappears from his face, and he says:  
“What happened, Ronnie?”  
“Apparently, it’s difficult to survive wrapping a car around a telephone pole.”  
I shrug. He reaches for me like he wants to hug me, comfort me like he used to. Eli steps in front of me and says:  
“Keep your hands off of my girl, Echolls.”  
Logan looks past Eli with a hurt look on his face and says:  
“You’re dating Weevil?”  
“Yeah. I am. That hurt a little, Logan? First, Lilly runs to Weevil every time you guys break up, and now I’m dating him…It looks like it hurts a little.”  
“God, you became a bitch after you left.”  
“I became a bitch because everyone I loved either died or abandoned me.”

I whisper to Eli:  
“Ya terminé de hablar con él. Haz que se vaya.” (I’m done talking to him. Make him go away.)  
He turns around and looks at me before saying:  
“I think you need another drink, V. Let’s go get you one.”  
He wraps his arm around my waist again and starts to steer me away from Logan. As we are walking away, Logan grabs my arm and tries to pull me back.  
“Ronnie, talk to me.”

I gasp as my arm pulls past the point where’s comfortable. Eli turns and looks at me and sees Logan’s hand grabbing me. He growls and turns around before bellowing:  
“I told you to keep your hands off of her!”

Logan lets go of my arm and steps back.   
“I just want to talk to her.”  
“She doesn’t want to talk to you.”  
“She’s been gone for two years. I just want to be near her and talk to her. She was my best friend.”  
“And you abandoned her when Lilly died. Why? Because she sided with her Dad? How fucking stupid do you have to be to hold that against her? She left because she lost Lilly, Duncan, and you all in a couple of weeks. She thought she couldn’t survive here without you, Logan, not the others, but you. Not just without you, but with you as her enemy. She left! She was gone for two years. I lost her for two years…I almost lost her forever…because of you!”  
“I love her, Weevil.”  
Eli gets up in Logan’s face and yells:  
“No! I love her! You abandoned her when she needed you most!”

I step up to Eli’s back and wrap my arms around his waist.  
“Eli. Enough. This isn’t helping. Let’s just go have some fun with Wallace and Mac before the boys get here.”

He takes a deep breath and turns around in my arms before kissing me.  
“Are you sure you want to stay?”  
“Uh, yeah. My soon to be stepbrother promised me a fun night out, so now he must deliver!”

We start to walk away from Logan when he says:  
“Wait…what do you mean you almost lost her forever?”  
I say:  
“I tried to kill myself: pills and booze. I freaked out when I felt my body shutting down and called 911. I was on a psychiatric hold after that.”  
“When?”  
“After Mom died. I came home…here, to Neptune, right after they released me from the hospital.”  
“And you jumped right into a relationship with Weevil when you got back?”  
“Yeah…I did.”  
“Why him?”  
“I don’t need to explain myself to you, Lo.”  
“You didn’t even hang out with him from the time you were twelve until you left.”  
“What does that have to do with anything?”  
“Just…I’m the one you snuggled with during movie nights, I’m the one that comforted you when you cried…Where the hell was he?”  
“That is no concern of yours. Eli and I have talked. We know what happened. That’s all that’s required.”  
“Veronica…”  
“I’m going to enjoy the party now. I suggest you do the same.”

I take Eli’s hand and walk towards Wallace and Mac. Once we’re away from Logan I start speaking to Eli in a low voice:  
“It is not Logan’s fault I tried to kill myself.”  
“Lo se amor. Me enojé mucho con él.” (I know love. I just got angry with him.)  
“Well, you need to control your temper.”

When we get to Wallace and Mac, Eli says:  
“Dance, chat…I’ll go get you another drink.”  
“Thanks, babe.”

I grab Mac’s hands and say:  
“Dance with me.”  
“Gladly.”  
We dance like we did before, pressed tightly together, chatting the whole time. When Eli gets back with drinks, he hands me one of the drinks and hands the other to Mac. Then he says:  
“I’ll go get two more for us, Wallace.”

Mac and I drink our drinks without moving apart and hand the cups to Wallace. Before Eli comes back again, I’m grabbed from behind by someone I don’t know. Before I can react, I hear Eli say in a warning tone:  
“Felix. Get your hands off of her.”  
The guy holding onto me lets go and says:  
“Shit, Weevil. This is your girl?”  
“Yeah, Felix. She is.”  
“Sorry, man.”  
“It’s not me you need to apologize to.”  
“Sorry, Blondie.”  
“My name is Veronica. Don’t call me Blondie.”

I whisper in Mac’s ear:  
“Are you okay?”  
“Yeah. I’m good. He barely touched me when he grabbed you.”

Mac and I separate, and I turn around to look at Felix.  
“Don’t ever touch me without my permission again.”  
“I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.”  
“Okay.”

Eli comes over to me and kisses my cheek.  
“I need to go talk to my guys. Will you be okay for a little bit?”  
“Yeah. Mac and I will go back to making every guy in a ten-foot radius aside from Wallace drool.”  
“Good girl…Felix?”  
“Yeah, boss?”  
“Did you bring your flask?”  
“Yeah, boss.”  
“Give it to Veronica and Mac. They need something stronger than the shitty beer that’s being served.”

Felix hands me his flask, and I eye it suspiciously. Eli laughs and says:  
“You never need to worry about Felix slipping you something love. I won’t say that about all my guys, but you can trust Felix completely.”  
“Okay.”

I open the flask and take a large swig before handing it to Mac. She takes a large swig too and hands it over to Wallace, who hands it back to me, and so on until the flask is empty. I hand it back to Felix and say:  
“Thank you. That was so much better than the beer.”

Felix winks at me and walks off with Eli. Once they walk away, Wallace says:  
“Girls, there is someone I need to talk to. Are you good on your own?”  
We look at each other and then answer in unison:  
“Of course. Go.”  
He walks off and leaves us to our dancing. We go back to how we were dancing before, but before we’ve gotten through two songs she says:  
“The sheriff is walking up behind you.”  
“Shit.”

I let go of her, and we step apart enough for me to turn around to face Lamb. As he approaches us, Mac takes my hand, interlacing our fingers. Lamb walks right into my personal space and runs his fingers down my neck and then down the front of my shirt, between my breasts.   
“I’m pretty sure this is the same outfit you wore to that party in Seattle. I seem to recall unlacing this shirt very carefully because you threatened to kill me if I ripped it.”

Mac squeezes my hand as a sign that she’s with me. My skin is crawling, and all I want to do is walk away and cry, but I’m trying to not show Lamb that he’s affecting me. I lift my chin and look him in the eyes. His normally light blue eyes are blown out and almost black.   
“So, Mars…When are you going to give me a repeat performance of that night? It’s been eighteen months. Could kill a guy making him wait that long.”  
“I will never have sex with you ever again, Lamb. So just keep waiting for hell to freeze over or just die already.”  
“Oh, you say that Veronica, but you don’t mean it. You had fun, I know you did, and it would be even better this time because you won’t be a virgin.”

I see Eli and Felix approaching over Lamb’s shoulder, and I shake my head, trying to communicate to Eli that attacking the sheriff is a really stupid idea.

Lamb reaches out and grabs my hips, pulling me towards him. When I’m pressed against him, he runs his tongue up the side of my face and neck.   
“I’m still a minor Lamb.”  
“I don’t care.”  
“You should because you are manhandling me in front of a large group of people and two of your deputies.”

He leans in slightly and whispers in my ear:  
“You will decide you want to fuck me again. When you do, you know where to find me.”

Then he bites my earlobe and lets me go, taking a step back from me. I stand up straight until he and his deputies are gone, and then my knees give out. Eli must have been closer to me than I thought because he catches me before I hit the ground. He makes eye contact with someone over my shoulder, and I see Logan standing there. He must have been approaching the whole time Lamb was holding on to me.   
“Eli, I want to go home.”  
“Okay, baby. Can you walk, or do I need to carry you?”  
“I can walk.”

I stand up and turn to say goodbye to Mac and kiss her cheek before wrapping my arm around Eli’s waist to walk to the car. When we get to the car, he presses me up against the door and kisses me. I wrap my arms around his neck and cling to him.  
“I’m sorry I wasn’t with you.”  
“It’s not your fault. I’m going to have to get used to seeing him, he is the sheriff after all.”  
“There has to be something we can do.”  
“I’m sure officially there’s something we can do, but I don’t want to make a huge thing out of it, and I don’t want Dad to know. Maybe if we ignore him, he’ll go away.”  
“Let’s go home.”  
“You didn’t finish talking to your boys.”  
“I know. Felix, Thumper, Marcus, and I have some unfinished business to handle.”  
“Tell them to come to the apartment. I’m going to shower and go to bed, you can handle what you need to handle.”  
“You’re really alright with that? Us conducting PCH business in your living room?”  
“Are you offing someone or just talking?”

He grins and says:  
“Talking.”  
“Then, yeah. This is part of who you are. I knew that before I decided I wanted you.”  
“Dios te amo.” (God I love you.)

He waves Felix over and says:  
“You, Thumper, and Marcus follow us to the apartment. We can finish talking there.”  
Felix nods and runs his eyes over me.  
“It’s fine, Felix. I’m fine.”  
Felix nods again and walks away. Eli grabs our jackets from the trunk, and we get in the car. When we get to the apartment, Eli unlocks the door, and we all walk in. I gesture at the kitchen and say:  
“There’s fresh cookies in the cookie jar on the counter.”

I kiss Eli and then walk into my bedroom and close the door. I sit on the edge of my bed and take the braids out of my hair before grabbing my pyjamas and heading into the bathroom. I take off my makeup and strip before stepping in the shower. By the time I’m done in the shower, my hair is clean, and my skin has been scrubbed almost to the point of bleeding, especially where Lamb touched me. I put my pyjamas on, brush my teeth, and head to bed.

I feel like I fall asleep as my head hits the pillow, and it feels like I immediately start having a dream about that night in Seattle with Lamb. 

I wake up to the feeling of hands on me. I hear Eli saying:  
“Wake up, Veronica. It’s me. I’ve got you.”  
I open my eyes and see Eli sitting on the edge of my bed, and the three other guys standing in the doorway. Felix looks like he wants to kill whoever upset me, Hector looks concerned, but Thumper…Thumper looks like he wants to hurt me. He looks at me like I’ve done something wrong, and it makes my skin crawl. I turn to look at Eli again. He says:  
“What was the dream about? You were crying and saying no.”  
“Lamb.”  
“Tonight?”  
“No.”  
“Am I only going to get one-word answers out of you?”  
“Yes.”  
“Will you be okay?”  
“Yeah. Go back to your stuff. Don’t worry about me.”

Eli kisses my forehead and leaves the room, pulling the door almost closed behind him. Once the guys are gone, I get out of bed and grab a CD to listen to. I put it in the player and turn it on at a low to medium volume. It’s Josh Groban…something my Mom used to listen to. Something about his voice calms me down, so when I was on my psychiatric hold, they let me listen to it on repeat. I lay down on the bed, on top of the covers, stare at the ceiling and just…exist. This technique works to empty my brain of thoughts, just like running or sex, it’s just…slower. 

I’m about halfway through the album when I hear a knock on the apartment door. I get up and walk into the living room. I can see through the window in the door that it’s Jake Kane who knocked. Eli looks at me and says:  
“I didn’t know if I should answer it.”  
“I’ll deal with him.”  
I walk over to the door and open it.  
“Mr. Kane.”  
“Oh, Veronica…I’m so sorry.”  
He pulls me into a hug, and I tense up.  
“Please let me go.”  
He drops his arms and steps back.   
“I’m sorry. It’s just…I still see Lilly when I look at you.”  
“Why are you here, Jake?”  
“I wanted to talk to you about your mom.”  
“There’s nothing to talk about. She’s dead.”

He just looks at me, so I step outside and close the door behind me.   
“We can go down to the deck and talk if you want. But there really is nothing to say.”  
“Thank you, Veronica.”

We walk across the parking lot and down some stairs to get to a deck overlooking the ocean. I sit down in one of the chairs, and Jake sits in the one next to me.   
“Where did you and Lianne move to?”  
“Seattle.”  
“What happened when you were gone, Veronica? You’re different than you were when you left. Colder, tougher.”  
“The longer we were gone, the more Mom drank, the worse her boyfriends got. I really don’t want to go into details with you.”  
“Did they hurt her?”  
“Yes.”  
“Did they hurt you?”  
“Yeah…they did.”

His hand makes a fist on the armrest of the chair.   
“And you won’t tell me who they were?”  
“No. This has nothing to do with you.”  
“Of course, it does.”  
“Why would you say that?”

He looks at the ocean and then at me and says:  
“Because you’re my daughter.”  
I stare at him in shock for a minute before saying:  
“Let me get this straight…You think that I’m your daughter, and yet you allowed Duncan and I to date for over a year? Is that why he broke up with me? You finally told him?”  
“Celeste did.”  
“And what makes you think that I am your daughter? Even if Mom was fucking you on the side, she was married to Dad. There’s a chance I’m his.”  
“Yeah…I guess. We’d have to do a paternity test.”  
“I don’t really want to. Keith Mars is my Dad. I have no use for you, Mr. Kane.”

I stand up and start walking away, and he grabs my hand. When I look at him, I see that he’s got tears in his eyes.  
“Please, Veronica. Tell me their names so I can make them pay for what they did to you.”  
“You want to make someone pay for hurting me? Fine. A month after Mom and I left, Don Lamb came to Seattle to get my final statement about Lilly. After taking my statement, he sat outside my apartment building until I left. He then followed me to a party, got me drunk and convinced me to go back to his hotel with him. I trusted him. I had known him for years…At the hotel, he gave me more alcohol. I don’t remember everything from that night, but I do remember waking up naked next to him in bed, hurting everywhere. Earlier tonight, he showed up at a party I was at. He grabbed me, licked my neck and face, bit my ear and told me he wanted to fuck me again. This was in full view of everyone at the party and two of his deputies. You want to make someone pay for hurting me? Make him pay. I was 15, and he was an adult who got me drunk and took my virginity.”  
“Which deputies were there?”  
“Sacks and someone I didn’t recognize…Young, hot, dark hair.”  
“Young and dark hair sounds like Leo. I can’t really judge his hotness factor.”

I shrug.   
“I was kind of focused on the asshole licking and pawing at me.”  
“Fair enough. I’ll take care of it.”  
“Thank you…”  
“I will handle it. For now, stay away from him. Don’t answer the door if he comes by, and don’t be alone outside.”  
“Okay…I can handle that.”  
“My head of security will be in touch. His name is Clarence.”  
“Alright. I need to go inside now. I’m exhausted, and I have church in the morning.”  
“I’ll walk you back to the apartment.”

We walk across the parking lot to my door and find Cliff standing outside.  
“Geez. This place is Grand Central Station tonight. Hey, Cliffie.”

I hug him before saying:  
“Goodnight, Mr. Kane.”  
“Goodnight, Veronica.”  
We watch Jake walk away, and then I say:  
“So Cliff…What’s up?”  
“Your Dad asked me to check on you. Did you know that your living room is full of PCHers?”  
“I did know that. Come on in Cliff.”

We open the door and walk into the living room.  
“You guys are done talking?”  
“Yeah, V. We are. Why’s the lawyer here?”  
“Cliff is Dad’s best friend. I’ve known him my whole life…He’s practically my uncle.”

Cliff wraps his arm around my shoulders and kisses the side of my head.  
“I love you too, V. We do need to talk, though. In private.”  
“Yeah. Okay.”  
I lead him into Dad’s room and push the door mostly closed.  
“What’s up, Cliff?”  
“So, I was just here to check on you, but seeing those guys out there concerns me.”  
“Why?”  
“Why are they here, Veronica?”  
“I’m dating Eli. He needed to talk to the guys.”  
“You need to be careful, V.”  
“Why?”  
“You can’t trust all these guys.”  
“Do you know that for a fact? Because one of them makes my skin crawl.”  
“Let me guess…Thumper.”  
“Yeah.”  
“And he has such a cute nickname.”  
“Do you know for sure that I can’t trust him?”  
“He’s working with the Fitzpatricks. You should talk to Vinnie if Eli needs evidence.”  
“I have to talk to Vinnie? Really?”  
“He’s practically got an office at the River Stix. I know he’s slimy, but he wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”  
“Okay. I guess I’ll go see him tomorrow. Do you think he’ll be at his usual office?”  
“I’ll make sure he is. When will you be there?”  
“Between church and family dinner.”

Cliff looks at me and blinks.  
“…Church, V?”  
“Dating a Catholic dude, Cliffie.”  
“Fair point. Okay. I’m going to take off. Don’t be alone with Thumper. You got it?”  
“Yes, sir.”

We walk out of the bedroom, and I notice that Marcus and Thumper are already gone. After Cliff leaves, I close the door and turn around and say:  
“Eli…How much do you trust your guys?”  
“What did Cliff tell you?”

I shift my eyes to look at Felix and back at Eli. Eli nods.  
“Cliff says Thumper is working for the Fitzpatricks.”  
“Does he have proof?”  
“You don’t seem surprised.”  
“We’ve suspected for a while. Does he have proof?”  
“None he could give me. But he says I need to talk to Vinnie Van Lowe.”  
“No way. He does work for the Fitzpatricks.”  
“I know. And Cliff knows. But what we also know is that Vinnie would never let anything happen to me.”  
“When are we meeting him?”  
“I am meeting him tomorrow between church and dinner.”  
“You are not meeting him on your own.”  
“He won’t tell me anything with you there.”  
“This isn’t up for debate, Veronica.”  
“You’re right. It’s not. You can wait in the car, but you are not coming into the meeting.”

Felix clears his throat and says:  
“I’m gonna go. I’ll see you both at church in the morning.”

As soon as he walks out, Eli steps towards me and says:  
“I am going to the meeting, or you aren’t. I am not leaving you alone with someone who works for the Fitzpatricks.”

Before I can answer, there’s a knock on the door.  
“Jesus Christ. Everyone wants a piece of me tonight.”

I open the door to find Vinnie standing there.  
“Guess this argument is moot. Come on in Vinnie.”  
“Hey, V. Mars. Cliff said you needed to talk about the Fitzpatricks…I won’t talk in front of him.”  
Vinnie points at Eli. Eli says:  
“I’m not leaving you alone with her.”  
“I’ve been alone with her many times, and I have yet to harm her in any way.”

I roll my eyes at him.  
“Except emotionally.”  
Vinnie looks expectantly at Eli. Eli just glares at Vinnie. I shake my head at both of them and sit on the couch.  
“Vinnie. Just tell us what you know about a PCHer working with the Fitzpatricks. Because really, whatever you tell me, I’m just going to tell Weevil anyway.”  
“Fine.”  
Vinnie sits down in the chair before he continues speaking:  
“It’s not just one PCHer working for the Fitzpatricks. The one who made the deal was that Thumper kid. But aside from this one and that Felix kid, all the PCHers are working with the Fitzpatricks.”

Eli sits down next to me and says:  
“Really?”  
Vinnie looks at him and says:  
“Guess you aren’t in charge anymore, buddy.”  
“Shit.”

I take Eli’s hand and look at Vinnie.  
“Thanks, Vinnie.”  
“Yeah, no problem. But you owe me, Veronica.”  
“Yeah. We’ll talk.”

Vinnie gets up and leaves the apartment, and I turn and curl into Eli.  
“What are we going to do?”  
“I don’t know. I could just turn the PCHers over to Thumper…Felix and I can walk away. That would involve a beating and them dumping our bikes in the ocean, though.”  
“There’s no other way?”  
“Not usually.”  
“Just a beating?”  
“If we’re lucky, they won’t kill us, yeah.”  
“What if we can make a trade? Is there something else Thumper wants?”  
“Not anything I’m willing to give.”  
He puts his hand on my neck and rubs my cheekbone.  
“He always looks like he wants to hurt me. Why would he want me?”  
“That’s just his face. He wants you. If I didn’t care about you, I could easily trade you for freedom for Felix and me. But I love you. He is not touching you.”  
“Maybe we can make a trade with the Fitzpatricks. I mean, if the PCHers are working for them, maybe the Fitzpatricks can make Thumper let you and Felix go.”  
“But who is going to go to Liam Fitzpatrick to offer a trade? We can’t use Vinnie.”  
“I will.”  
“Hell no.”  
“Eli, I’m not afraid of him.”  
“You should be. He’s a sociopath.”

I lean in to kiss him.  
“Let’s go to bed. We’ll figure things out in the morning.”

As we walk to the bedroom, I pull out my cellphone and send a quick message:  
‘You are bought and paid for by the Fitzpatrick’s, right? Do you have any pull with Liam?’

By the time I set my phone down on my desk, there’s an answer:  
‘Yes. I have pull with him. What do you need, and what will you give me?’  
‘Let me think about it. I’ll come to see you Monday.’  
‘Home or office?’  
‘Home.’

Then I text Jake Kane:  
‘Get Clarence to come by the apartment early tomorrow. I need to discuss something with him regarding what we talked about earlier. I have a thought.’  
‘Does it involve anything that will hurt you?’  
‘Not if Clarence does his job properly.’  
‘Fine. He’ll be there at 6am.’  
‘Thanks.’

I put my phone down and climb into bed next to Eli.  
“Who were you texting?”  
“Mr. Kane. I think he might be able to help us. Well, his head of security.”  
“Explain.”  
“Can I just explain it to you and Clarence both in the morning? That way, I can argue with both of you at once.”  
“So, I’m going to hate this plan.”  
“You might. Can we just sleep now? Clarence will be here at 6.”  
“Fine. Before we sleep, can you tell me about your dream?”

I nod and tell him everything that happened in the dream.  
“Did all that really happen?”  
“Yeah.”  
“I’m going to kill him.”  
“Don’t think about him anymore.”

He wraps me in his arms, but I can feel how tense he is.  
“Eli…Haré lo que tenga que hacer para mantenerte seguro. Te quiero.” (I will do what I have to do to keep you safe. I love you.)  
“No permitiré que te pongas en peligro para protegerme.” (I will not allow you to put yourself in danger to protect me.)  
“If me doing something uncomfortable will save you from being beaten or killed, then I will do whatever I have to do. If the only solution is to fuck Thumper, then I will fuck Thumper and then bathe in bleach. I love you.”  
“No, Veronica. I will take the beating.”  
I look at him and put my hands on his face.  
“If I trusted them to just give you and Felix a beating, I wouldn’t be as worried. I’m afraid Thumper will take this opportunity to kill you.”  
“It’ll likely just be a beating.”  
“No te puedo perder.” (I can not love you.)  
“You aren’t going to lose me, baby. Look at it this way…If I’m not in the PCHers, I have more time for you, and I have to go legit…which means no risk of you losing me to prison.”  
“I’m not opposed to you not being in the PCHers. I’m just afraid of the process of getting you out.”  
“And I’m afraid of what happens if you get involved.”  
“We’ll talk to Clarence in the morning, I’ll tell you guys what I was thinking, and I give you full veto power AFTER you hear the whole plan.”  
“Fine. I’ll listen to your plan, but if I veto it, Felix and I just take the beating.”  
“Fine. But you tell me where the beating is going to be taking place beforehand so I can get you help right away.”  
“Deal.”

He kisses me and says:  
“I love you. Go to sleep.”


	3. Day Three

I wake up the next morning to the sound of knocking on the door. I get out of bed and see that there is a man I don’t recognize standing outside. I open the door and say:  
“Clarence?”  
“Hello, Miss Mars.”  
“Come in.”

As I let him in the apartment, Eli walks out of the bedroom, putting a shirt on.

“Let’s sit down. I have a thought that might be able to help us with our problems.”

We all sit down, Eli and I on the couch, Clarence in the chair. Clarence says:  
“Problems, Miss Mars? As in multiple problems? As far as Mr. Kane is concerned, our only problem is figuring out what to do with a sheriff that likes to fuck underage girls.”  
“Yes. That’s the part that bothers Jake, but we have another problem that I think can be solved at the same time.”  
“Explain.”  
“Eli here is the head of the PCHers.”  
“Yes, I know. I did a full background check on him.”

Eli looks at Clarence and says:  
“Why?”  
“You are dating Jake Kane’s daughter. Of course, we looked into you.”  
“I’m sorry…Jake Kane’s daughter?”

I put my hand on Eli’s arm and say:  
“It’s a possibility, not a fact. He just told me last night, and I told him that Keith Mars is my Dad, and I don’t need him.”  
“He let you date Duncan, knowing that you might be Duncan’s sister?”  
“That was my complaint with that too…Good thing we never progressed past chaste kissing…Anyway…”

“All of the PCHers with the exception of Eli and his friend Felix are working for the Fitzpatricks. A guy named Thumper orchestrated the deal and is angling to be the new head of the PCHers. We have no problem with this. They want to work for those crazy Irish bastards, let them. We just want to get Eli and Felix out safely with no repercussions for them or their families.”  
“So give Thumper a trade.”  
“The only thing he wants more than to kill Felix and me is Veronica. I will not give her to him.”  
“No. That’s not an option…Veronica, what’s your plan?”  
“My plan is to get the Fitzpatricks to order the PCHers to let Felix and Eli go with a promise of no repercussions for them or their families.”  
“How do you intend…wait…Lamb is in the Fitzpatrick’s pocket?”  
“Yeah, and according to him, he has pull with Liam.”  
“So how do we get Lamb to do what we want?”  
“We offer him a trade. He gets Liam to give the order to Thumper, and once Eli and Felix are out safely, then Lamb can have his end of the deal.”  
“His end of the deal being you?”  
“Yes.”

Eli freaks out and says:  
“Hell no. I am not giving you to him.”

Clarence says:  
“Calm down. He would never actually touch Veronica. That’s your plan right, Veronica? You’re just the bait, setting Lamb up to either go to prison or die.”  
“Yeah. That bit’s on you. Assuming everything goes according to plan, Lamb will be taken out before he ever touches me.”  
“Will it work if you don’t give him something first? Will he do what you want?”  
“Of course. He really wants to fuck me again. He’s starting to spiral a bit. If I make this a condition of that, then he’ll do whatever I want. The question is, will Thumper cooperate?”

Eli says:  
“If it’s an order from Liam, he probably will. He won’t be happy about it, though. But even if Lamb has pull with Liam, how do we guarantee that Liam will take Lamb’s advice?”

Clarence says:  
“Liam is the wild card, but if we can assure him that his business will not be affected by this, he should go along with it. Especially if Lamb drops the Kane name.”  
“Why would he do that?”  
“Oh my dear, you think Lamb doesn’t know that you are a Kane?”  
“What?!”   
“He is well aware that there is a strong possibility that Jake is your father. We really need to do a paternity test. I know you consider Keith to be your Dad, but we need all the facts.”  
“Fine. Do the damn test.”  
“Good answer Veronica.”  
He hands me a cheek swab from his pocket.  
“Really? You came prepared?”  
“Of course. I already have Jake’s sample. I’ll take it to the lab when I leave here. We’ll have an answer by the time you are out of church. Swab your cheek.”

I swab my cheek, put the swab back in the tube, and hand it back to Clarence.   
“I’ll take this to the lab. I’ll call you later with the results, and we’ll make a decision then about whether we’re going ahead with the plan or not.”  
“Okay. Thanks, Clarence.”  
“No problem Miss Mars. For the record, it’s an excellent plan; however, Jake is going to want a say.”  
“So if I’m his daughter, he suddenly wants veto power over my life?”

Clarence stands up and walks towards the door.  
“Of course he does. Miss Mars, Mr. Navarro. Have a nice morning.”  
He walks out the door, and I turn and face Eli.  
“So? What do you think of my plan?”  
“I think Lamb is going to want a downpayment. How do you handle that?”  
“Eli…”  
“I am not going to let you trade your body for my safety.”  
“It’s not like I haven’t had sex with him before.”  
“Veronica, he raped you. He got you blackout drunk and then had sex with you. That’s rape.”  
“He didn’t rape me. I just don’t remember having sex with him. I made the choice to drink with him, to go back to the hotel with him, to let him touch me.”  
“Do you remember making the choice to have sex with him?”  
“No.”  
“Then, maybe you didn’t.”  
“Eli, I have been through so much shit in the past two years…I cannot think of what happened with Lamb as rape. My first time can be an awful choice, but it cannot be rape. Please…”

He pulls me onto his lap and presses his lips into the side of my head as he says:  
“Okay, baby. If that’s what you need, then I will stop talking about it. But the thought of him putting his hands on you again makes me feel slightly murderous.”  
“And it makes me nauseous, but if it keeps you safe…”  
“It is my job to keep you safe. Not the other way around.”  
“Eli…”  
“What, baby?”  
“I love you. And I love how protective and possessive you are. But this relationship cannot just be one way. You have to let me protect you too. I can’t lose you.”  
“I’ll work on it.”  
“Good. Thank you. I need to go get ready for church now…What does one wear to church?”  
“You go shower and do your hair. I’ll pick out an outfit for you.”  
“Really? So not only are you a sexy biker, but you are also a fashion expert?”  
“I have sisters and cousins and nieces. Also, I have opinions about you and your clothes.”  
“Yeah, but mostly those opinions revolve around how I should be wearing less of them.”  
“Well, yes. But I am perfectly capable of choosing an appropriate church outfit for you.”  
“Okay. I’m going to go shower.”

After my shower I yell out the bathroom door:  
“Is my outfit more classy or casual? How should I be doing my hair?”

Eli walks into the bathroom and kisses the back of my neck.  
“Curl it. That way, it’ll work for your church outfit and your dinner outfit.”  
“You chose two outfits for me? I might have to keep you around.”  
“What are you going to do when I go home tomorrow?”  
“Miss you desperately.”

I turn around and kiss him before saying:  
“I love you, and since I am quite fond of your face, I suggest backing up so I can curl my hair without burning you.”  
“I’ll take a shower while you do that then.”  
“Good idea.”

Eli gets in the shower, and I start to curl my hair while watching him out of the corner of my eye.  
“Hey, stop staring. Focus on the hot object in your hand.”  
“Yes, sir.”

I finish curling my hair and do my makeup before leaving the bathroom. I look at my bed, and there are two outfits laid out—a dress for church and jeans and a t-shirt for dinner. I get dressed as Eli walks into the room.  
“Can you zip me up?”  
Eli comes over and kisses my neck while zipping up my dress.  
“You look good in blue, babe.”  
“You’re sure this dress is acceptable for church? It’s a little tight.”  
“Not too tight, and not anywhere near as tight as the dresses my sisters and cousins wear to church every week. You’re good, babe.”  
“I’m just nervous. Church is not something the Mars family does.”  
“I know, Veronica. Everything will be fine. I promise.”

I turn around and kiss him.  
“Get dressed…Can’t go to church in a towel.”  
While he gets dressed, I put my extra outfit in my bag and grab my shoes and jacket. When he’s ready, he kisses my forehead and says:  
“Let’s go. Don’t forget the cookies.”  
“Yes, dear.”  
Eli opens the door and comes face to face with the deputy from the party.   
“Hi, I’m looking for Veronica?”  
“V? Do you always get this many male visitors?”  
“Nope. Here, take the cookies. I’ll meet you in the car.”

I hand him the cookies, and he hands me the apartment keys before he walks out the door.  
“Can you walk and talk? I don’t want to be late for church.”  
“Yeah. I’m headed to church too.”  
“You’re Leo, right? The new deputy?”  
He grins and says:  
“Yeah. How’d you know?”  
“Don’t get excited there, buddy. Jake Kane told me who you were when we were talking about the sheriff’s antics last night.”  
“You talk to Jake Kane a lot?”  
“He’s my dead best friend’s Dad. We talk occasionally.”

As we walk towards the car, my phone rings.  
“Sorry, I have to get this.”  
I answer the phone:  
“Clarence?”  
“The lab was faster than expected. I’m calling you before I tell Jake.”  
“So? Is he my father?”  
“Yes. You are a Kane. Congratulations.”  
“Not exactly the answer I was hoping for.”  
“Well, I’m sorry about that, Miss Kane. You can expect to hear from Jake later today.”  
“Don’t call me that. My last name is Mars. I will never go by Kane.”  
I hang up as we get to the car.  
“Sorry, Leo. Why are you here?”  
“I wanted to know if you wanted to file a complaint about the sheriff for last night.”  
“No. Obviously. If I did, I would have come to the station.”  
“You can’t let him get away with what he did.”  
“I appreciate the concern, but I can do whatever I want. I do not want to file a complaint. I do not want to think about it.”  
“Veronica…”

He reaches for my arm, and I move away.  
“You don’t want to do that, Leo. And in the future, please remember that if I want to file a complaint, I will come down to the station.”

Eli walks around the car and says:  
“Babe. We have to go.”  
“Yup. Let’s go. Goodbye, Leo.”

Once we’re in the car and driving to the church, I say:  
“Clarence called. Apparently, Jake is my father. So, congratulations, you’re sleeping with another Kane. Now you just need to fuck Duncan to collect the set.”  
Eli looks at me, the hurt evident on his face.  
“I understand you are a little thrown right now, and that you’re upset about this, but taking it out on me is unfair.”  
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”  
He takes my hand and pulls it to his lips to kiss it. When we get to the church, we go inside and briefly get separated while looking for Mrs. Navarro. I hear a voice I don’t recognize from behind me:  
“Veronica Mars. I heard you were back.”

I turn around and look at the man speaking.  
“I’m sorry, who are you?”  
“Oh, I forgot we’ve never actually met. I’ve spent so much time with your Dad over the years it just feels like I know you. Liam Fitzpatrick.”  
“So you’re the famous Liam. You don’t look like a sociopath to me.”

He smirks with a twinkle in his eyes and leans in as he says:  
“Looks can be deceiving. Just like you look like a good girl, but you’re whoring yourself out to that PCH piece of trash Navarro.”  
“Wow. We just took a sudden left turn. And here I thought we were being civil since we’re in a church and all.”

I turn to walk away, and he grabs my arm. He pulls me up against himself and whispers in my ear:  
“If you really want to follow in big sister’s footsteps, she was fucking me too.”  
“Well, it’s a good thing I have no interest in being Lilly. Let go of me.”

He doesn’t let go, but before I can do anything about it, I hear another voice say:  
“Liam. Let her go. Remember, the church is a safe place for everyone.”  
“Yes, Patrick.”  
He lets me go and pushes me away from his body. I walk away before he can change his mind. As I’m looking for Eli, hands wrap around my waist. I freeze, after all, I just had a bad experience, until I hear:  
“It’s just me.”

I relax into his chest.   
“Did you find your grandma?”  
“Yup. She saved us seats. Did I see you talking to Liam?”  
“He ambushed me. Apparently, he knows that I’m a Kane. He referred to Lilly as my big sister.”  
“What exactly did he say, love?”

I turn around and whisper:  
“He said ‘if you really want to follow in big sister’s footsteps, she was fucking me too.’ I told him it was a good thing I have no interest in being Lilly.”  
“Well…We knew that Lilly wasn’t faithful to, well, anyone.”  
“She was an idiot.”  
“Why?”  
“Because she had you, and she didn’t appreciate you.”  
“I love you, Veronica Mars-slash-Kane.”  
“That’s what you’re going to call me now, huh?”  
“Yes.”

I take his hand, and he leads me to our seats. We sit through the church service, and then I walk outside with Mrs. Navarro.   
“Are you and Eli coming straight to the house, dear?”  
“Yes. Would you like a ride?”  
“That would be lovely dear, thank you.”  
Eli comes up behind us and wraps his arm around my waist.  
“What are my two favourite girls talking about?”  
“We’re giving your grandma a ride back to the house.”  
He kisses the side of my head and whispers:  
“I love you.”

My phone rings as we get to the car and I say:  
“It’s probably Jake. I should answer this. Mrs. Navarro, you sit in the front with Eli, okay?”

I answer the phone and say:  
“Hi, Jake…Or I guess I should say, Dad? No, that’s weird.”  
“Clarence called you already, I see.”  
“Yeah. He got me right before church.”  
“Have you processed it yet?”  
“Not really?”  
“I’d like you to come for dinner tonight.”  
“Two problems with that…I’m going to the Navarro’s for dinner, and I don’t think parading me around in front of Celeste is fair to her.”  
“I will handle my wife.”  
“Jake…I have to assume this is why she always seemed to hate me. She knew I was yours, and it hurt her to look at me.”  
“I want to spend time with my daughter.”  
“I’m not opposed to that, but I can’t come tonight.”  
“Are you serious about Eli?”  
“Yes. I am.”  
“Then, you should bring him to dinner tomorrow.”  
“Okay…What time should we be there?”  
“Six?”  
“Fine. We’ll be there.”  
I hang up and say:  
“Buckle up, buddy…You get to have dinner at the Kane residence tomorrow.”  
“What? You get a new Dad, and I have to make nice?”  
“Yes, because you love me.”  
“Oh, right…that.”  
He winks at me in the mirror as we pull up to the house.

When we get out of the car, I grab the cookies and head into the house. I put the cookies down on the kitchen counter, and suddenly there are arms reaching around me to grab them.  
“Mmm...Snickerdoodles. Can you make these all the time V?”  
“Yes, Felix.”  
“You’re the best.”  
He takes two cookies, kisses me on the cheek and leaves the room. I must have a bewildered look on my face when I turn around because Eli starts laughing at me.  
“Come on, babe, we can get changed in my room.”

I follow him out of the room and down the hall. Once we’re in his room, he closes the door and pushes me up against it.  
“Eli…”  
“We have over an hour before everyone else will be here.”  
“This is your grandmother’s house…she’s here, Felix is here, and a handful of cousins, siblings, nieces, nephews are here.”  
“Just be quiet, my love.”  
“Eli…I’m not comfortable with this.”  
“Okay, V.”

He kisses me and then says:  
“Turn around, and I’ll unzip your dress.”  
I turn around, and he kisses my neck before he starts unzipping the dress.  
“I love you, Eli.”  
“I love you.”

I slip my dress down and step out of it and my shoes. He runs his hands over my stomach as he turns me around so he can kiss me. I step out of his arms and grab my clothes out of my bag. As I get dressed, Eli changes into jeans and a tank top.   
“I should call Dad.”  
“Okay. I’ll leave you alone for a few minutes.”  
“Thanks, babe.”

I sit down on Eli’s bed and dial Dad’s number.  
“Hey, number one daughter.”  
“Hi, Daddy. When will you be home tomorrow?”  
“Late, after you’re asleep.”  
“Okay. Can you spare me some time Tuesday morning? There’s something we need to talk about.”  
“Of course, my love. Is everything okay?”  
“I don’t know…maybe?”  
“Will you be okay until we see each other Tuesday?”  
“Yes.”  
“Okay. I love you, Veronica.”  
“I love you too, Dad.”  
We hang up, and I call Clarence.  
“Miss Kane.”  
“Did you talk to Jake about the plan?”  
“Yes. He doesn’t like it, but he says to go ahead and talk to Lamb.”  
“Okay. I will do that tomorrow once Eli leaves for school.”  
“Call me immediately afterwards…Actually, better yet, come to my office.”  
“Okay. Thanks, Clarence.”  
“You’re welcome, Miss Kane.”  
“I really wish you wouldn’t call me that.”  
“I’m sorry, Miss Kane. That is how I have been instructed to address you.”  
“Ugh…Jake. Bye, Clarence.”  
“Goodbye.”

Family dinner was uneventful. Eli’s sisters and female cousins gave me the cold shoulder until Mrs. Navarro pulled me into her arms and loudly gushed about how much she loves me and how good I am for Eli. After that, everyone was friendly. By the time we left, I was exhausted. I must have fallen asleep in the car because when I woke up, I was in Eli’s arms, and he was struggling to unlock the apartment door.  
“I’m awake, babe. Put me down.”

Eli sets me on my feet and easily opens the door. We walk in, he closes and locks the door behind us, then grabs me and kisses me. It’s deep and hungry like he’s been thinking about it all day. I grab the bottom of his shirt and pull it over his head in between kisses, and am reaching for his belt buckle when there is a knock on the door. Eli pulls his mouth away from mine and says:  
“Jesus fucking Christ. You get too many visitors.”  
“Agreed.”

I turn around and open the door and find Duncan and Logan standing there.  
“Ugh. Look, Eli...It’s my brother and his best friend. Come in, guys.”  
As Duncan walks past me, I smack him in the chest.  
“Ow! What was that for?”  
“Celeste told you that I was your sister. That’s why you broke up with me.”  
“Yes.”  
“Why didn’t you tell me?!”  
“I didn’t want to believe it.”  
“You fucking suck.”  
“I’m sorry, Ronnie.”

Logan is just staring at Eli and says:  
“Can you put a shirt on?”  
“No. You could leave, and V and I can continue what we were doing.”  
“We need to talk to Veronica.”

I step towards Eli and kiss him before saying:  
“Eli, it’s fine. They won’t be here long. Why don’t you call Felix and fill him in on the plan? Clarence gave me the go-ahead.”  
“Fine. But the door is staying open in case you need me.”  
“Okay.”

Eli starts walking away, and Logan catches a glimpse of the Lilly tattoo on Eli’s back.  
“What the fuck is that?”  
“It’s a tattoo, Logan. He has lots of them.”  
“That one says Lilly.”  
“You’re right. It does.”  
“Doesn’t it bother you that he’s got your sister’s name tattooed on his body?”  
“No. Why would it? He thought he loved her. Besides, I have a tattoo for her too.”  
“You have a tattoo? Where? I don’t see any.”

I lift up my shirt enough to show the tattoo on my ribs. Logan reaches out to run his fingers over it.  
“It’s beautiful.”  
“Yeah. It is.”

I put my shirt back down and sit in the armchair, leaving the couch for the boys.  
“Why are you here?”  
“Dad’s going to ask you to move in tomorrow at dinner.”  
“And you’re here to tell me to say no?”  
“What? No! I’m here to tell you to say yes.”  
“No way, Duncan.”  
“Why not?”  
“It’s where Lilly died. Also, that is so not fair to Celeste. I may not like her, but I won’t hurt her like that. I don’t even want to come for dinner.”  
“Well, you can’t just live here and pretend you’re a Mars. You are a Kane.”  
“Maybe I’ll ask for an apartment for my 18th birthday.”  
“So you can live alone? You’ll be lonely.”  
“Maybe Eli and I can live together.”  
“You just started dating.”  
“I’m sorry, Duncan, but did I ask your opinion?”  
“I’m your brother!”  
“So fucking what?”  
“What do you mean, so fucking what?”  
“You abandoned me. You broke up with me without an explanation, and you let Logan turn everyone else against me after Lilly died.”  
“I was mourning!”  
“So was I! And I was alone!”  
“You left!”  
“Because I couldn’t stay here where you were practically comatose, and Logan hated me. I couldn’t bear to see him every day while I was grieving and know that not only wouldn’t he comfort me, but he would actively make my life miserable. So yeah. I left.”

Logan reaches his hand towards me and grabs my hand.  
“I’m so sorry, Veronica. I realized right after you left that I was an idiot. I missed you immediately. If I had known where you were, I would have come after you.”

I pull my hand away from him.  
“Dad knew where I was. All you had to do was ask him.”  
“What happened to you in Seattle?”  
“None of your business.”  
“Ronnie…”  
“No, Logan. You may be Duncan’s best friend, and Duncan may be my brother, but nothing that happened to me in Seattle is any of your business.”  
“I was your best friend.”  
“Yeah…You were.”  
“Will you ever tell me what happened to cause you to change so much?”  
“Probably not.”  
“Will you tell anyone?”  
“I already told Eli mostly everything, and I told Jake some of it.”  
“Why do you trust Eli and not me? He abandoned you when you were twelve, and he was sleeping with Lilly before she died. I’m sorry that I lashed out at you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I love you. I have loved you since we were twelve. Since that first day on the soccer field.”  
“You chose Lilly.”  
“So did Eli.”  
“We’re not talking about him right now!”  
“But it’s a double standard! You have forgiven him. You trust him. You love him. And you won’t even let me hold your hand.”  
“I don’t like to be touched.”  
“You and Mac were all over each other last night.”  
“Mac has never hurt me, and she’s female. It’s not the same thing.”  
“Wallace had his arm around you last night.”  
“Wallace was trying to protect me. You are trying to make yourself feel better.”

There’s a knock on the door, and I get up to answer it. I open the door to find Lamb standing on the doorstep. He takes a step towards me, and I put my hand on his chest and push him back while stepping towards him.  
“You can’t be here. I said I’d come to see you tomorrow.”  
“Why can’t I be here?”  
“Duncan and Logan are here. And Eli is home. You need to go.”  
“When tomorrow?”  
“Morning. Go away.”

He grabs the back of my head and pulls me into him before kissing me.   
“I told you you’d change your mind.”  
“I told you I need you to talk to Liam. Tomorrow is just a conversation, Don.”  
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I wait until he walks away and then turn around and run to the bathroom to throw up. Hands start rubbing my back, and Eli says softly:  
“It’s okay, my love. He won’t touch you again. Clarence will make sure of that.”  
I’m crying now, and I say:  
“I shouldn’t have answered the door. Why did I answer the door?”  
“Shhh, baby. It’s okay. I promise. Everything will be fine.”  
“Can I use your phone?”  
“Yeah.”

I dial Jake’s number, and when he answers, I say:  
“Eli and I need somewhere to stay tonight. Lamb was just here again.”  
“And you won’t come here?”  
“No.”  
“I’ll book a room for you at the Grand. Head over now.”  
“Thank you.”  
I hang up and say:  
“Can you get some stuff together? Jake’s getting us a room at the Grand. I don’t want to be here.”  
“Okay, babe. I’ll get our stuff. You explain what just happened to Logan and Duncan.”  
“Yeah. Okay.”

I rinse out my mouth and wash my face before walking out to the living room. Logan and Duncan both look at me with concerned faces, but Logan’s eyes are flashing in that dangerous way they do when he wants to hurt someone.   
“Ronnie? What the fuck was that?”  
“I’ll explain…I’ll tell you everything. I just can’t be here. Jake’s getting me a room at the Grand. Why don’t you guys come with, and I’ll tell you everything that happened in Seattle?”

Duncan stands up and says:  
“I’m not going to come to the hotel. I don’t want to hear all the ways you were broken while you were gone.”  
“My supportive brother, ladies and gentlemen.”  
“Veronica…You know I love you. I just…can’t.”  
“Okay, Duncan. Do you have your car here?”  
“Yeah, so you’re in charge of Logan.”  
“Fine. I take possession, and I will return him in his current pristine condition.”  
Duncan walks over to me and kisses my forehead before leaving the apartment. Logan stands up and walks over to me, wrapping his arm around my waist. He kisses the side of my head and says:  
“Am I going to want to kill someone after hearing about Seattle?”

From behind us, Eli says:  
“Multiple people. One is here in Neptune, though.”  
I whisper to Logan:  
“Lo, you need to let go of me.”  
He moves his arm and steps slightly away from me.  
“I’m sorry, Ronnie.”  
“It’s okay, Lo.”

Eli says:  
“I have stuff packed. We can go. You guys take the car, I’ll take my bike. I’m going to need it in the morning.”  
“Okay.”

I pick up my bag and my phone, and I notice I have two text messages. The first is from Jake saying: ‘The room is booked under your fake ID name. I assumed you had it with you.’ I respond quickly, saying: ‘I do have it with me. Thanks, Dad.’ A response comes through immediately saying: ‘I like you calling me Dad. Let me know if you need anything else.’

I open the other message: ‘I got back to Tacoma and heard about Lianne’s death. Where are you?’ I drop my phone on the counter when I realize who it is.   
“V? What is it?”  
Eli picks up my phone, reads the message, and says:  
“Who is this message from?”  
“Him…Lianne’s last boyfriend. Hand me the phone.”

I take the phone and send a text to another Tacoma number: ‘Kozik, he just messaged me. Deal with him.’ I get an immediate response: ‘I’ll handle it kiddo. Don’t answer him.’

“Who’s Kozik?”  
“So…there’s some details I left out when we talked before. Let’s go to the hotel, get some drinks and room service and I will tell you and Logan everything.”

Eli hands the car keys to Logan and says:  
“I’ll meet you guys at the hotel.”

We get in the car and my phone rings. I answer and say:  
“Kozik.”  
“Ronnie, he’s not here.”  
“What do you mean he’s not there? Not at the clubhouse? Not at his apartment? Not in Tacoma? Give me something Kozik.”  
“Not in Tacoma.”  
“His message said ‘I got back to Tacoma’. What do you mean he’s not in Tacoma?”  
“He got called to Charming.”  
“Well, that’s still…300 miles away from me?”  
“I called Clay. He knows not to let him go further south, and he’s sending Opie and Jax to you.”  
“I don’t need Opie and Jax.”  
“Yeah. I don’t care. Be happy he’s sending the young, hot guys and not Tig or Chibs.”  
“I’m staying at the Neptune Grand tonight. Thank Clay for not sending Tig. He’s a hot head.”  
“I’ll let the guys know where to find you. I already told Jax to call you.”  
“Thanks Kozik.”

I hang up and Logan looks at me.   
“What the hell have you gotten involved in?”  
“I’ll explain, but for now, let me just say that the PCHers are not the only biker gang I have to deal with.”

Before Logan can respond my phone rings again.  
“Hello?”  
“Hey beautiful.”  
“Jax. You and Opie don’t need to come. I don’t think he’ll show up here.”  
“Yeah, nice try babe. We’ll be there in a couple of hours.”  
“Fine. I’m staying at the Neptune Grand tonight under the name Vivian Winston…And before you say anything, I had the fake ID before I met Opie.”

Jax laughs and says:  
“He’s gonna love that.”  
“Oh shut up. I’ll see you when you get here.”  
He laughs again and says:  
“Bye beautiful.”

I roll my eyes and hang up as we pull into the Grand’s parking lot. Logan parks the car and we go inside. I check in and get my room keys. I walk back over to Logan and notice that Eli has joined him.  
“My father booked the presidential suite. Is he insane?”  
“Not insane. Just a Kane.”  
I send a quick text to Jax: ‘Don’t bother asking at the desk. We’re in the presidential suite. Fifteenth floor. Just come straight up….and maybe put hoodies on over your cuts?’

“Let’s go upstairs boys.”  
“Who did you just text?”  
“His name is Jax. You’ll meet him in a couple of hours. Hopefully by the time they get here I will have explained everything.”

We get upstairs and walk into the room. Two bedrooms and a couch.  
“Well, that’s useful at least.”  
Eli looks at me and says:  
“What babe?”  
“The two bedrooms and the couch. Jax and Opie will be staying here too, so at least they have somewhere to sleep.”  
“Okay. I’m going to need some more information.”  
“Yeah. Let’s sit. I’ll explain.”

I sit down on the couch and pull a pillow into my lap.   
“Can you guys sit…over there?”  
I gesture to the other end of the couch.  
“V…”  
“Please, Eli. If you touch me while I’m talking about this I’m going to start crying.”  
“Okay.”  
They both sit down and look at me.

“Right after we moved to Seattle, Mom started dating this guy…he was a yeller, and when I would walk away from him he would pull me back by my hair. One night about a month after we moved, he pulled so hard a chunk of hair actually came out. When I finally got away from him I took scissors to my ponytail, hence the short hair. He took off a few days later, Mom didn’t kick him out, she didn’t care that he had hurt me. I kind of wish I had just put up with that though, because the more Mom drank the worse her boyfriends got, and the longer we were in Seattle the more she drank. The next boyfriend was amazingly nice, a member of the Sons of Anarchy Tacoma branch, they didn’t stay together long unfortunately, but he’s still around when I need him. His name is Kozik. The guy she left Kozik for was also a Son…He hit her when he drank. He never touched me, he was actually pretty nice to me, most of the time…I think it’s because Kozik or Jax threatened him. The one after that was the worst though.”

I look at the guys and say:  
“Can we order drinks and dessert?”  
“Yeah. Of course.”

We order and then I take a deep breath before beginning again.  
“The last boyfriend was also a Son…The president of the Tacoma branch actually. Mom thought that he was our meal ticket. That if she dated him for long enough he’d consider her his old lady and not just the chick he was fucking. The club takes care of old ladies and their kids.”  
“But he didn’t see her that way?”  
“No. She was just a drunk he had fun with when she was somewhat sober and she happened to have an attractive teenage daughter.”  
“What did he do?”  
“When Mom would pass out, he would come in my room. The first time I woke up to him shoving into me. Most nights he would threaten to hurt me or mom to get me to cooperate, but sometimes he just held me down and took what he wanted. I put locks on my door to keep him out, but then he took the door off the hinges. Then he took the bathroom door off the hinges and took the shower curtain.”  
“What did your mom do?”  
“Nothing. She did nothing. I told Kozik what was happening, and he let me stay with him for a bit, but there wasn’t a ton he could do.”  
“So what happened?”  
“Mom finally broke up with him. She caught him fucking someone else and figured out he’d never consider her his old lady. Kozik started coming around again, trying to get Mom to sober up. When she was sober for a few days I told her what Lee had done. She freaked and attacked me. Kozik had to hold her back. She accused me of seducing Lee. She said it was my fault that he didn’t consider her good enough to be an old lady.”

There’s a knock on the door and Logan gets up to answer it. It’s our room service, so I stop talking long enough to drink a couple of the beers we ordered and eat my chocolate cake. 

Before I can start talking again there’s another knock. I get up to answer it, and it’s Jax and Opie. I stand back to let them in and Opie wraps me in a hug, lifting me off my feet. He kisses me on the cheek and whispers:  
“Hi baby. You okay?”  
“Just recounting my Seattle adventures.”  
“Oh geez.”  
He puts me down and goes to sit on the couch. Jax looks at me, grins, and says:  
“Hey beautiful.”  
“Hey Jax.”  
I wrap my arms around his neck and he wraps his around my waist. He kisses my cheek and whispers in my ear:  
“They’re both glaring at me. Which one are you fucking?”  
“Eli. The Latino.”  
“Good looking dude.”  
“Yeah he is.”  
“He know about us? About Abel?”  
“He’s about to. We’ve only covered Mom’s boyfriends so far.”  
“Chances he tries to kill me?”  
“Slim. He might punch you though.”  
“That’s okay. I can take a punch. In fact, it might be fun.”

Just then Eli speaks up from the couch:  
“Yo, blondie. You gonna let go of my girl at some point?”  
Jax smiles against the side of my head and then says:  
“I didn’t realize Veronica belonged to anyone. Last I checked she was fiercely independent.”

I pull Jax’s hair to get his attention and he leans back a bit to look me in the eyes. His gaze is playful and his eyes are sparkling.   
“Jackson. Don’t intentionally piss off my boyfriend.”  
“Intentionally piss off your boyfriend you say?”  
“Jax…”  
Before I can say anything else, his lips are on mine. I kiss him back before taking my hands from around his neck and pushing on his chest. I can hear Opie and Logan laughing from the couch and can feel Eli getting closer to me.   
“Why do you do that? Why do you constantly push boundaries?”  
His eyes flash with anger and his jaw clenches as he says in a low, quiet voice:  
“Because I love you and occasionally feel the need to remind you that you are supposed to be my old lady.”

Eli steps closer to me, I can hear him huffing his breath out.  
“Eli. Stop. Go sit down. If you hit him you’re just giving him what he wants.”  
“He just kissed you.”  
“Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

Opie laughs and says:  
“It’s not the first time they’ve kissed.”  
“Opie…Don’t be helpful."

“V, what is the Sasquatch talking about?”  
“It seems obvious. I told you I was with a few guys in Seattle.”  
“He doesn’t look like he belongs in Seattle.”   
“Nah. He’s V.P. in Charming. He was up with the Tacoma branch for a while.”

I look over at Opie and say:  
“Hey, helpful man over there. Go call your wife and kids.”  
“Oh yeah. Thanks for the reminder Ronnie.”

He steps into one of the bedrooms and closes the door.  
“Everyone else, sit down. There’s more I need to get through.”

Eli and Jax sit down on either side of Logan. 

“Before I say what I’m about to say, I need promises from Logan and Jax that you aren’t going to lose your shit.”  
“I make no promises.”  
“Jax, the guy I’m about to talk about is the Sheriff here. You cannot kill him.”  
“It’s fine as long as they never find him.”  
“Jackson!”  
“Just tell the story Veronica.”

I roll my eyes and say:  
“Fine. It was the day I cut my hair. I decided I couldn’t be in that apartment any longer, so I got dolled up and went in search of a party. I was still “the new girl” so I hadn’t made many friends yet. Sheriff Lamb had been at the apartment earlier in the day, before the last hair pulling incident, to take a final statement from me about Lilly. I didn’t realize he was parked outside of the apartment building when I left. He told me later that he suspected I was being abused by either my mom or her boyfriend and he was sitting there hoping to talk to me on my own. But that doesn’t explain him following me to the party. He followed me in, and while he was very clearly older than the majority of the people at the party, he was good looking enough that people ignored it. I was standing in the corner, trying not to interact with anyone when he walked up with two cups and a bottle of vodka. Have a drink with me Veronica. So I did. And then another, and another. We finished the bottle and then danced together. While we were dancing, he was running his hands over my body, brushing his thumbs over the side of my breasts. When he leaned down to kiss me, I let it happen. After all…this was Don Lamb. I had a crush on him for years. He wouldn’t hurt me…right? He suggested we go back to his hotel and I agreed. I wasn’t planning on having sex with him. I was still a virgin and I still held out hope that my first time would be with someone who loved me. When we got to his hotel room, he made more drinks. I was in his hotel room drinking for an hour before he tried touching me again. He kissed me again and started unlacing my shirt. When he got my shirt off, he started undoing my jeans and I whimpered, trying to get him to stop. I didn’t want to have sex with him. When I woke up the next morning I was naked in his bed next to him, everything hurt. I didn’t remember everything from the night before. He had his arms wrapped around me, holding me to him. I tried to get out of the bed, but he just grumbled at me to go back to sleep and he would take me home later. He tightened his arms around me so I couldn’t move. I laid there and cried silently until he woke up and took me home.”

I watch their faces as I speak. Eli is trying hard to not react, after all, he’s heard all this already. Logan is crying, and Jax looks murderous. About halfway through my spiel, Opie had come out of the bedroom, so he was standing behind me with his hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me.

“I had blocked out the worst parts of it, but when he pawed at me at the party I remembered more. I remembered crying and begging him to stop. And when he kissed me today I remembered the more…physical aspects of it. That’s why I threw up.”

Jax gets up and walks out of the hotel room, slamming the door behind him.   
“Opie!”  
“Yup. I’ll try to make sure he doesn’t kill the sheriff.”

I stand up and walk to the door.  
“Where are you going V?”  
“To stop Jax from murdering Lamb. I’ll be right back.”  
“He has Opie there to stop him.”  
“Opie won’t stop him. He’ll help him dispose of the body. You don’t know these guys. I do. I’ll be back.”

I walk out of the room and down the hall to where Jax and Opie are.  
“Hey, Ope? How about you go wait in the lobby? Give me your cut before you go.”  
“No identifying marks. You gonna let us kill this guy, baby?”  
“Maybe. I need to talk to Jax.”  
“Yeah.”

He takes off his cut, hands it to me, and kisses the top of my head before getting in the elevator. I take Jax’s hand and lead him to the stairs and head up to the roof. I block the door so it doesn’t close and lock us on the roof.  
“I know how you feel about guys that hurt women Jax, but you can’t just kill whoever you want.”  
“If it was any other woman, I wouldn’t want him dead. I’d be happy hospitalizing him. But it’s you. The guy you just described...He’s the dude from right before we met, right? Abel’s biological dad?”  
“Yeah, he is. But Jax, I’m just a random girl you used to hook up with…One of hundreds, thousands.”

He wraps one of his arms around my waist and puts his other hand on my neck.  
“You are my old lady! You are supposed to be with me! Hell…i’m raising your son! I love you.”

He pulls me close to him and kisses me. His hand slides back and tangles in my hair. His other hand slides up under my shirt, his fingertips slightly digging into my lower back before sliding further up, his fingertips brushing along my tattoo and the underside of my breast. I move my mouth away from his slightly, not stepping out of his arms to whisper:  
“Jax…I’m with Eli.”  
“Do you love him?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Do you love him more than you love me? Because, Veronica? You love me.”  
“You’re right. I do love you. You were the first person I was with by choice. The first guy that actually cared about me. If you had asked me before you left Tacoma, I would have gone with you. I would have left Mom and moved to Charming. Yeah, I love you. I think I always will. But I love him too. I’m sorry Jax.”

He kisses me again before saying:  
“I’m going to kill the sheriff, and I’m going to take care of anyone else you need gone. You won’t try to stop me again. I will do what I have to do to protect you. And when that wannabe gangster downstairs gets himself killed, or you graduate from high school, you will move to Charming, be my old lady, and we can raise Abel together.”  
“Wannabe gangster?”  
“The PCHers are pathetic. A bunch of high school kids playing at being hard. He’s going to get himself killed or put in prison for life. When that happens, you come to me.”

I shake my head at him and say:  
“Be safe tonight. Watch your backs. Don’t get spotted. Most of the sheriff’s department is corrupt, bought and paid for by the local Irish meth-heads. There are two good deputies though, and they will try to solve the murder if they figure out that he’s dead, so make it look good. Give me your cut and your rings. Make sure your ink is covered.”  
“I have done this before babe.”  
“I know…But never because of me.”  
“I love you.” “I love you too. Please be careful.”  
He hands me his cut and he slides his rings onto my fingers. He kisses me again and then says:  
“We can come back here after, yeah?”  
“Yeah.”

We leave the roof and go down the stairs. He gets in the elevator and I go back to the room. Before I walk into the room I quickly call Opie.  
“I forgot to give you the address.”  
“We got it V. Don’t worry. We’ll be back in a while.”  
“Stay safe Ope.”  
“Yeah. I’ll bring him back in one piece.”

I hang up and walk into the room. As I put their cuts on the bed in one of the bedrooms, a phone rings in Jax’s pocket. The caller ID says ‘Mom’ so I answer it as I walk into the living room and get settled on the couch.  
“Gemma?”  
“Veronica? Are you okay baby?”  
“Right now? Yeah.”  
“Where’s Jax?”  
“Not with me at the moment. I guess he forgot his cell was in his cut.”  
“Who, baby?”  
“Who what, Gemma?”  
“He took off his cut and left it with you. Who is he killing?”  
“Abel’s father.”  
“Did he promise to be safe?”  
“Yeah. I’ll get him to call you when he gets back, okay?”  
“Yeah. Sweetheart, Clay wants to talk to you.”  
“Okay, give Abel a kiss for me.”  
“Always, baby.”

“Hi baby.”  
“Hey Clay. Is Lee there? He hasn’t taken off, right?”  
“He won’t be bothering you again.”  
“Clay? What did you do?”  
“I dealt with the problem.”  
“You and your son, so freaking overprotective.”  
“We love you sweetheart. We all love you. It was a club decision. Fucking unanimous vote.”

I hear Gemma in the background saying:  
“Hi Juice.”

“I love you all too Clay. Is that Juice I hear in the background?”  
“Yeah. Juicy just walked in. You wanna say hi?”  
“Please.”  
“Veronica?”  
“Hey Juicy. How’s tricks kid?”  
He lowers his voice to just above a whisper:  
“Things are good. I miss you. When are you coming to Charming to visit?”  
“Juice…Dad set you up with a fake identity. Good enough it can fool the ATF. Me showing up would screw you over. I miss you too. Be safe.”

I hang up and face Eli and Logan. Eli says:  
“Who is Clay?”  
“Jax’s step-dad.”  
“Who is Juice?”  
I smile and say:  
“Norris Clayton. Although his ID says Juan Carlos Ortiz.”  
“Norris?! Your dad helped Norris skip town?”  
“Yeah. He was innocent. I asked Dad to help him, so he did.”  
“Do the Sons know?”  
“The voting members of Charming do. Along with Jax’s mom Gemma. The guys had to know so they could vote him in.”

Eli takes a deep breath before he says:  
“Who is Abel?”  
“My son. He’s nine months old.”  
“I’m sorry…what?! Your son?”  
“Yeah…Lucky me, I got pregnant from my rape.”  
“Does Lamb know?”  
“Of course not. I didn’t find out until I was with Jax.”  
“Why is your son in Charming with Jax’s family?”  
“I was going to have an abortion…Jax took me to the clinic and everything, but I couldn’t go through with it. Jax offered to raise him until I graduate. Gemma takes care of him most days.”

Logan looks at me and says:  
“So, Seattle? After Lamb, what happened?”  
“I went to the doctor a few days later. I was sore still and I knew I needed to be tested. I met Jax sitting in the waiting room. He had gotten in a fight and he had cracked ribs. We started talking, decided we enjoyed each other’s company, and went for coffee after we both saw the doctor.”  
“So you dated Jax? He was one of the two?”  
“Yeah. For almost a year while he was in Tacoma. He stayed longer than he was supposed to.”

Eli looks at me and says:  
“Did you love him?”  
“Yes.”  
“Do you still love him?”  
“Yes.”  
“If he had asked you to go back to Charming with him when he left Seattle, would you have gone?”  
“Yes.”  
“If he asks you now?”  
“Not right now.”  
“If something happens to me?”  
“Like if you die or go to jail for life?”  
“Yeah.”  
“It doesn’t much matter what I’d do then, does it?”  
“So, yes. If something happens to me, you are going to go running to him.”  
“This conversation is ridiculous. Nothing is going to happen to you.”  
“It could.”

Logan says:  
“Can we move on please?”  
“Yeah, Okay. V? Who came after Jax?”  
“A couple random hookups…Both Sons, older guys.”  
“And then the last guy you dated…The one that fucked Lianne?”  
“Yeah. Another Son…Well, a prospect. We dated for about a month before the whole Lianne thing happened.”

Eli shakes his head and says:  
“So I was right about you having a thing for bikers.”  
“I didn’t disagree with you.”  
“Where does Opie fit in?”  
“He and Jax have been best friends since birth. He’s a good guy. Has a wife and two kids. Donna’s great.”  
“How old are they?”  
“Jax and Opie or Opie’s kids?”  
“Jax and Opie.”  
“Twenty-seven.”

Logan clears his throat and says:  
“So how did Lianne die?”  
“She kicked Kozik out and started drinking. We got into a fight about the prospect and she left. Said she needed more booze. When she didn’t come home I called Kozik. On his way to our apartment he passed an accident scene. It was Mom’s car, wrapped around a pole. He stopped and talked to the cops. They told him that she was dead when they got there. He came to the apartment and held me while I cried.”  
“And the suicide attempt?”  
“I explained that to you already.”

There’s a knock on the door, and I run over, hoping it’s Jax and Opie. When I open it I find Kozik standing there. I launch myself into his arms and he walks into the hotel room carrying me.   
“How are you here?”  
“I decided Jax and Opie weren’t good enough, so I hopped on a plane.”  
“Clay killed Lee.”  
“I know…Well, Tig did it. I talked to him afterwards. He got Chibs to film it, so you can watch if you want.”  
“Was it quick?”  
“After what he did to you? Hell no. Tig made him suffer.”  
“Good man, that Tigger.”

I let go of him and turn around to face the boys.   
“Eli, Logan, this is Kozik. I need to make a phone call. Play nice.”  
“If it’s Tig you want to call, don’t bother. He, Chibs, Happy, and Juice are all on the road.”  
“Going where? I talked to Juice earlier. He didn’t say anything.”  
“They’re coming here love.”  
“Juice can’t come here.”  
“The ATF isn’t hanging out kiddo. He’ll be fine as long as he stays away from Neptune High and his parents.”

I stare at him.  
“Jax told me.”  
“Why?”  
“It just slipped. We were having a conversation about the best end for the prospect and…”  
“Wait. The best end? You killed him?!”  
“He cheated on you and then gave you the drugs you used to attempt suicide. Yeah. He’s in a fucking unmarked shallow grave.”  
“But…why?”  
“Because the V.P. of the original charter is in love with you. You get treatment equivalent to that of a senior old lady…Plus the queen considers you her daughter.”  
“The queen says that mothers should drown female babies. I don’t think she considers anyone her daughter.”  
“She adores you.”  
“From a distance Kozik. If I was there and was actually her son’s old lady she’d be plotting my murder and you know it.”

Eli says:  
“Can I interject here?”  
“Of course.”  
I walk over and sit on his lap. I can feel him relax as he wraps his arms around me.  
“If Jax and Opie do kill Lamb, our plan to get me out of the PCHers whole is fucked.”  
“I’m generating a new plan. I’ll talk to all the guys once they’re here. We’ll get you out whole or we’ll put you back in charge. Don’t worry.”  
“You want me to just place my fate in the hands of a gang I don’t know?”  
“Yes. I want you to trust me when I say that you can trust them.”  
“I don’t know if I can do that.”  
“You don’t know if you can trust me?”

Logan stands up then and says:  
“And that’s my cue to leave. You’re about to have a full house anyway.”  
“Do you still have the car keys?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Good. Take it home with you. I’ll swing by and get it tomorrow.”  
“What if you need to go somewhere?”  
“I’ll have seven bikers here. I’m sure someone can give me a ride.”  
“Okay.”  
He kisses the top of my head and walks out of the room.

Eli lets go of me and I stand up. He says:  
“I’m going to go too. It’s probably better if I’m seen somewhere public if the sheriff is likely to die tonight. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, V.”  
He walks out of the room and I follow him.  
“What are you doing? Why are you leaving me?”  
“I told you. I need an alibi.”  
“I am Jake Kane’s daughter and Keith Mars’ step-daughter. I am your fucking alibi. What’s the real issue here?”  
“I guess I hadn’t thought that you had this whole life while you were gone. You have all these people who love you, and they’re all coming here. It’s just overwhelming.”  
“So you were happier thinking that my life in Seattle was all bad?”  
“That sounds awful, but I think so…You have a son who is being raised by Jax…it hurts to see how much he loves you.”  
“Eli, you’re not being fair.”  
“I know. I’m sorry. I need to go.”

He walks away from me without a touch or even a backwards glance. I start crying and walk back into the room. Kozik takes one look at me, then picks me up and sits down on the couch with me curled in his lap. We’re still sitting like that an hour later when there’s a knock on the door. I get up and go answer it. When I open the door it’s Jax and Opie. They’re both dirty and Jax has blood on the collar of his shirt. I step aside so they can come in and say:  
“There’s a bathroom in each bedroom. Go shower and change. I’ll wash your clothes.”

Jax puts his hand on my cheek.  
“Why are you crying babe?”  
“It’s not important. Go clean up.”  
He gently kisses me and walks away. I call room service and ask for baking soda and vinegar, along with dinner for all the guys and beer for everyone. Then I text Jake and say: ‘I don’t think Eli will be joining us for dinner tomorrow night.’ I get an immediate response: ‘What did he do?’ I reply: ‘Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it.’

I look at Kozik and say:  
“Room service should be here in a little bit, and the guys should be too. I need some air. I’m going to go up to the roof. I’ll be back in a while.”  
“There’s a balcony. Can’t you get air there?”  
“I just want to be alone for a while. Okay?”  
“Okay kiddo.”

I grab the blanket off the back of the couch and wrap it around me as I leave the room. I head up to the roof, propping open the door. I sit on the ground against the wall and stare out over the city. I sit there, alone, for a while before Jax sits down next to me.   
“Where is Eli?”  
“He left.”  
“Why?”  
“He said that it’s overwhelming that I developed good relationships while I was gone. That he was happier thinking that my life in Seattle was all bad…I told him about Abel. He freaked. Oh, and that it hurts to see how much you love me.”  
“Wow. He didn’t seem like that much of an asshole. I’m sorry babe.”

I lean into him, putting my head on his shoulder. He wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me tight against him.   
“Tell me Jax.”  
“You don’t need to know Veronica.”  
“Yes. I do. Please.”  
“We used an untraceable gun. And then we got rid of the body and the gun. Nothing can be traced back to us, or you.”  
“People knew I was supposed to be meeting him in the morning.”  
“So do that. Go to his apartment. Make sure you are visible when you are there. Then go to the station and ask around for him. It’ll keep the attention off of you.”  
“Thank you Jax.”  
“Veronica…He hurt you. I’m not big on killing people, but I would kill anyone for you.”  
He puts his hand on my cheek and turns my face towards his before kissing me. He pulls on me using the arm around my waist to encourage me to straddle his lap, deepening the kiss. He moves his mouth off of mine, kissing along my jaw and down my neck.  
“Veronica…Are you okay with this?”  
“Yes…and no.”  
He stops kissing me and just rubs my back.  
“Explain.”  
“I love kissing you. I love the feeling of your hands on me…But…Eli.”  
“He left.”  
“Yeah, but he didn’t say he was breaking up with me. Just was a bit of a dick and he left.”  
“What he doesn’t know…”  
“No Jax. Not my style.”  
“Okay. Let’s go back to the room. I’m sure the other guys are here.”  
“Okay.”

I lean in and kiss him before standing up.   
“Once he actually does break up with you…Come with me to Charming.”  
I just shake my head, hand him his rings, and walk towards the stairs. 

When we get back to the room, I use my key and walk in. I’m immediately wrapped in a hug. I whisper, quietly enough that only he can hear me:  
“I missed you Norris.”  
I pull back and look in his eyes before kissing him gently and more loudly saying:  
“Hi Juice.”

I step out of his arms and am quickly wrapped in Tig’s arms. He kisses me on the cheek and I whisper:  
“Thank you Tig.”  
“Anytime, baby.”

I quickly hug and receive cheek kisses from Happy and Chibs, then I grab the baking soda and vinegar. I look at Jax and Opie and say:  
“Where are your clothes?”  
“In the bathtub babe.”  
Jax points at one of the bedrooms, so I walk over there. Before entering the room I say:  
“Can you guys try to find Eli for me? I’m worried that Thumper will try to seize the opportunity to kill him.”  
“Yeah babe. We can do that.”  
“Thanks. Just leave Juice and Kozik with me. There’s a room key by the TV. Take it with you.”

I walk into the bedroom to try to get any evidence of Don Lamb off of Jax and Opie’s clothes. I scrub at them until the blood is all out, then I leave them to soak in vinegar and baking soda. When I’m done, I dig my pyjamas out of the bag we brought and take a quick shower. I check my phone as I walk into the living room. Nothing from Eli, but there’s a message from Jake saying: ‘Logan left your car here. The keys are in the glove box. Gate code is 6530. Come by anytime.’ I send a response saying thanks, and then send Eli a message saying: ‘I know you’re upset, but please let me know that you are safe. Please.’ As I sit on the couch I dial Felix’s number. It goes straight to voicemail, so I leave a message saying:   
“Felix. Eli took off and I can’t reach him. I’m worried about you guys. Please call me or message me and tell me you are safe. Please.”  
I hang up and put my phone on the coffee table before laying down and resting my head on Juice’s lap.   
“Sit up for a second Ronnie.”

I sit up and he puts a pillow against his leg for me. I lay back down and say:  
“Thanks Juice.”  
“Anytime.”

He fiddles with the remote for the tv until he finds a music station that happens to be playing Josh Groban.  
“How did you…?”

Kozik clears his throat and says:  
“I told him.”  
“Thank you, Kozik.”  
“No problem kiddo. I’m gonna go to bed. It’s late.”  
“Goodnight.”

He walks over and kisses my forehead and says:  
“Juicy boy, take off your boots and cut before you fall asleep.”  
“Yeah, yeah.”

Kozik leaves the room to go to bed. I look up at Juice and see his eyes starting to close.  
“Juice…Stand up, take off your boots and cut. Put your weapons on the table and lie down with me. You’re falling asleep and the couch is wide enough for both of us.”  
“Veronica…”  
“Juice. I know, okay? I’ve known that you had a crush on me for years. Just lie down and go to sleep.”  
“You’re okay with that?”  
“Babe, you’re exhausted, and you know if you try to take one of the beds the guys will just kick you out onto the floor.”  
“If I’m wrapped around you on the couch when Jax gets back he’s going to lose his shit.”  
“No he isn’t. Lie down Norris.”  
“Fine.”

He stands up and once he’s adjusted his clothing he says:  
“Up.”  
I stand up, and Juice lays down on the couch with his back against the back of the couch and his arm outstretched so I can lie down next to him with my back against his chest, using his arm as a pillow. He wraps his other arm around me, putting his hand on my stomach.  
“Are you comfortable, Veronica?”  
“Yeah, Juice. Go to sleep.”

I have another Lilly dream, I mean, why not, right? Unlike the usual ones, we’re not in my old room. She’s standing in front of me in the hotel room.  
“Lilly?”  
“Hey little sister.”  
“You were wrong…he left me.”  
She walks over and sits on the coffee table, running her hands over my face.  
“Don’t cry Ronnie. You’ll see him tomorrow. Only slightly worse for wear.”  
“But he doesn’t love me anymore. I told him too much.”  
“He loves you baby, he just is overwhelmed and is lashing out.”  
“So you do think he broke up with me when he left.”  
“Yeah, sweetheart. That was definitely him breaking up with you. Which you suspected already, so I’m not telling you anything you didn’t already know.”  
“Do you have any opinions on anything else?”  
“I have opinions on all kinds of things…Like the fact that Norris Clayton is currently wrapped around you asleep…That’s a strange development.”  
“He was tired.”  
“Yeah, well…That hot blonde biker of yours is going to have an opinion about that when he walks through that door in a minute.”  
“What should I do about Jax?”  
“He’s going to make a suggestion about that…Go with it. You’re a good fit, and my god, the rest of my nieces and nephews will be gorgeous!”  
“I miss you Lilly.”  
“I’m always with you Ronnie.”

She disappears and I wake up as the room door opens. Chibs and Tig walk into the room where Kozik is and I hear them arguing over who has to sleep on the floor. Opie walks into the other room, and Happy sprawls on the other side of the couch. Jax stands in the doorway and stares at me and Juice. He notices that I’m awake and in a low voice says:  
“Something I should know, babe?”  
“I had a bad dream. Juice was comforting me and fell asleep.”

I move Juice’s arm off of me and stand up before walking over to Jax and kissing him. I put my hands on his waist, running them under the edge of his t-shirt, running my nails across his back.   
“Babe, you said…”  
“To hell with what I said. I want you.”

He groans and says:  
“This hotel room is too fucking crowded.”  
“We could leave. I do have an apartment that’s currently empty.”  
“Let’s go.”

I grab my jacket, purse, and phone, then write the guys a note saying that check-out is 11am and giving them my home address. I put my shoes on and Jax and I walk out the door.

When we get to the apartment, we walk inside and close and lock the door before I take his hand and lead him into my room.  
“Are you sure about this Veronica?”

I take off my jacket and shoes as I say:  
“Yeah, I’m sure. Fuck me…Please Jax.”  
“Gladly babe.”  
I take off my pyjamas and watch as he takes his clothes off.  
“You still on birth control babe?”  
“Yeah. You still clean?”  
“Well, I haven’t fucked anyone since you, so…yeah.”

I reach for him, wrapping my arms around his neck, tangling my fingers in his hair, and kissing him. He roughly grabs my thighs and picks me up. He kisses me deeper, his tongue seeking access to my mouth at the same time as he slides his cock into me. I gasp as he fills me and pushes my back up against the wall. He fucks me slowly, making sure to hit all the right spots. By the time we both orgasm, I’m crying.  
“Why are you crying babe?”  
“I just missed this. I missed you. I love you.”  
“I missed this too. And you...so much Veronica. I love you.”

He carries me to the bed and lays me down before lying down next to me. I trace the tattoo on his chest with my finger. It says ‘Abel’.

“Did we do the right thing with Abel? I constantly think that we made a mistake. That I should be in Charming with you and him.”  
“You will be. Once you graduate high school. Until then, he’s happy and healthy babe.”  
“How do we explain to him that you murdered his biological father?”  
“I don’t know that we do. I do have to tell you though...”  
“What?”  
“I told Lamb about Abel before I killed him. I don’t even know why I did it. I just needed him to know that he had a son that he was never going to meet. A son I am raising as my own.”

I lean over and kiss him, shifting my body so I’m straddling him. As I kiss along his jaw and down his neck, I can feel him get hard under me. I keep kissing him as I line him up with my entrance and sink down onto him. I stay leaning forward so I can kiss him while rocking my hips. He runs his hands over me and then flips us so he’s on top. He pulls my legs up so my ankles are on his shoulders and speeds his thrusts up. He rubs circles on my clit with his thumb until I come screaming his name, then he comes with a grunt.

Afterwards, he puts my legs back down and lays down on top of me, kissing me.   
“I love you Veronica.”  
“I love you.”  
“I have a thought…”  
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”  
“Abel and I can move here for your senior year. That way we can all be together. It’s only 4 hours to Charming. I can go back for important votes and actions, but I’m not needed on a day to day basis.”   
“That seems like it’ll put an awful lot of miles on your bike.”  
“Worth it.”  
“So I should ask Daddy for an apartment when I see him at dinner tomorrow?”  
“I can afford an apartment babe.”  
“Yeah, but Jake Kane can afford a nicer one.”  
“What? Jake Kane is your father?”  
“Yeah…Just found out.”  
“Jesus, Veronica. His security team is going to have a shit fit about me.”  
“They must already know. Clarence is good at his job. There’s no way they missed the  
guy 300 miles from here who is listed on my son’s birth certificate.”  
“So they know about Abel.”  
“Realistically, yeah. If you get off of me I could get my phone and ask Clarence.”  
“In the morning babe. Go to sleep.”  
“Can’t. Need to pee. Also, you are heavier than you look.”

He laughs and rolls off of me.  
“Fine. But you’d better come back in the state you’re in. No pyjamas.”  
“So fucking demanding.”

I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth while I’m in there. Then I grab my phone before heading back to bed. There’s a text from Felix saying: ‘I’m fine, V. Weevil’s beat up pretty bad and his bike’s in the ocean. He’ll be taking the bus to school in the morning. Maybe you could meet him there? I know you broke up, but I’m sure he’d be good with seeing you.’ There’s also a message from Gemma saying: ‘You sounded like you needed a baby fix. I’m going to bring Abel for a couple of days. We’ll be there in the morning.’

“Who are the messages from babe?”  
“Felix letting me know Eli is alive, and your mother telling me that she’s bringing Abel and they’ll be here in the morning.”  
“What time is it now?”  
“4:00.”  
“If Gemma said morning she could literally be here anytime.”  
“Does she have my address or will she go to the hotel?”  
“It’s Gemma. We have to assume she has your address. I guess we do need to put on some clothes.”

I get up and put on my pyjamas, Jax puts his boxers back on.   
“Just boxers Jax?”  
“All my clothes are at the hotel.”  
There’s a knock on the door and I head out to the living room to answer it. When I open the door, it’s Gemma, Clay, and Abel.   
“Come on in.”  
I reach out and take Abel from Gemma.  
“Hi baby…Mommy missed you so much.”  
“He’s so big…”

Jax walks in the room and wraps his arms around me before kissing the top of Abel’s head and my cheek. He whispers:  
“Don’t cry babe.”  
“I’ve just missed so much…”  
“Hence my idea.”  
“Yeah. You need to clear that with Clay before we make plans.”  
I say louder:  
“Sit down. Can I get anyone some water? Unfortunately it’s all there is to drink in the house.”  
“No thank you baby. We’re not staying.”  
“But…”  
I hold onto Abel a little tighter.  
“Abel is staying sweetheart. Clay and I are leaving.”  
“At least get a few hours of sleep before you leave again.”  
“Okay baby.”

Clay holds out a set of keys.  
“We brought Jax’s truck for you to use.”  
“Thanks Clay.”  
I take the keys and put them on the kitchen counter. Gemma hands Jax her keys and says:  
“Go get Abel’s things out of my car.”  
“Okay.”

Jax leaves the apartment and Gemma says:  
“So what’s this plan he has, darlin’?”  
“He thought that maybe he and Abel could move here with me until I graduate next June. He says he can go back and forth for important votes and stuff.”

Gemma and Clay look at each other and then Clay says:  
“We can make that work.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah. Of course. Abel is your son, Veronica. You should be with him if you feel you are able to be.”  
“Gemma? What do you think?”  
“I think I will miss my son and grandson, but Clay’s right. Abel is your son. You deserve to be with him.”  
“Thank you. Both of you.”

Gemma says:  
“My only request is that you spend this summer with us in Charming.”  
Before I can reply, Jax walks back into the apartment and says:  
“No, Mom. Veronica just got home. She just found out that her Dad isn’t her Dad. She needs this summer to reconnect with her family. You are not going to make her son living with her contingent on what you want. Abel is Veronica’s son, my son. And he is going to live in Neptune with us until Veronica graduates high school. Only after that will we move back to Charming. Do you understand me?”  
“Yeah. Okay baby.”

I turn and look at Jax.  
“We could spend part of the summer here and part in Charming babe. Maybe we can be there for August?”  
“Don’t let her guilt you into doing what she wants Ronnie.”  
“I’m not. I just don’t think being here for the whole summer is necessary. We could do half and half or go back and forth every couple of weeks…We could make it work.”  
“We’ll talk about it.”

Gemma says:  
“Thinking about it is all I ask. We’re going to get some sleep and then hit the road.”  
“Yeah. You can have my Dad’s room. This way.”  
I lead them down the hall to Dad’s room.   
“There should be clean towels in the bathroom across the hall.”  
“Thanks baby.”

Gemma kisses me and walks into the bedroom, Clay kisses my cheek and follows her in.

I walk back to the living room and say:  
“Did you get all of Abel’s things?”  
“Not yet. Two more trips. I think she brought everything he owns.”  
“Okay. Is the diaper bag inside? Because little boy needs a new one.”  
“Yeah babe. Here.”

He hands me the diaper bag and I say:  
“Thanks Jax. Abel and I will be in the bedroom.”

Jax leaves the apartment again and I take Abel into the bedroom. I set up a changing pad on my desk and quickly change Abel’s diaper. Then I take him over to the bed and lay down snuggling with him. I run my fingers over his face and try to figure out who he looks like. I try to guess at what he’ll look like as a teenager, as an adult…Trying to figure out if he’s going to look like me or either of my siblings, or if he’s going to look like Don.

I grab my phone and send a quick text to Clarence: ‘Have you told Jake about Abel and Jax?’ I get a response within a minute: ‘I thought that should come from you.’ I send a reply: ‘Thanks Clarence.’ Then I send a message to Jake: ‘I know it’s stupid early Dad, but I have a surprise for you. Can I bring someone to dinner tonight?’ I get a response immediately: ‘Of course my darling.’

A few minutes later I hear the apartment door close and lock, and Jax walks into the bedroom.   
“We have a couple of hours before I need to take Eli’s car to him. Come lay down with us.”  
Jax climbs up the bed so he’s between Abel and the wall and says:  
“Why are you just staring at him?”  
“Trying to figure out who he’s going to look like.”  
“His eyes are the same as Lamb’s.”  
“Yeah. I noticed that. The rest of his features are still too baby-like to tell for sure though.”  
“He’ll look however he’s going to look babe. At least the asshole rapist was good looking.”

I laugh and say:  
“Oh Jax.”  
He leans in and kisses me.  
“I love you.”  
“I love you too Veronica.”


	4. Day Four

A couple of hours later I smell bacon and get out of bed, bringing Abel with me. I change his diaper and walk out into the living room. I find Gemma at the stove making breakfast.  
“We had food in the house?”  
“No. I ran to the store.”  
“Sorry. Dad basically lives on takeout.”  
“Sit down baby. Have some breakfast.”  
“Thanks Gemma.”

I sit down at the counter, balancing Abel on one knee while I eat my bacon and eggs.   
“Can he eat some of the eggs, Gemma?”  
“Yeah baby. He can.”  
I give Abel small bites of eggs and he happily gums on them.

As I’m eating breakfast there’s a knock on the door and then the door opens. The guys all walk in, Tig first and Juice taking up the rear. Opie says:  
“Mom’s here. Yay breakfast!”  
Tig says:  
“Abel’s here too.”  
“So’s Clay.”  
The guys all kiss me on the cheek and kiss the top of Abel’s head before looking at Gemma pleadingly.  
“Fine. I’ll make you all breakfast before Clay and I leave.”

Chibs says:  
“We’re all leaving too. Gotta get home. Just came to get Jax.”

Jax walks in the room and says:  
“I’m not going. Abel and I are staying with Veronica.”

All the guys say:  
“What?”

I say:  
“Calm down guys. We’ll be in Charming in a couple of weeks. We’re going to go back and forth all summer. We just don’t want to be apart anymore…I don’t want to be away from Abel anymore.”

I stand up and hug them all.  
“I love you guys, you know that?”  
Chibs says:  
“We love you too doll.”

I hand Abel to Jax and say:  
“Can you get him dressed? I need to shower and get ready for my morning of acting.”  
“Yeah. Of course.”

Gemma follows me down the hallway and says:  
“I brought you something darlin’.”

She walks into Dad’s bedroom and comes back out with a bag.  
“What is it?”  
“Just some SAMCRO clothing in your size baby.”  
“Thanks Gemma.”

I walk into my bedroom, collect clothes from my closet and dresser, and walk into the bathroom and close the door. I quickly shower and put my hair in two ponytails at the base of my skull before putting on my make up and clothes. I walk out of the bathroom and Jax is in the bedroom getting Abel dressed. He stops and stares for a minute before saying:  
“Damn, babe. Do you have to be this hot to pretend you don’t know the sheriff is dead?”  
“No, but considering I was supposed to be meeting him to discuss exchanging me for Eli’s safety, I figured I should dress the part. It’s only jeans and a tank top though, it’s not like I’m walking around in lingerie.”

I walk over to the bed and dig through the bag that Gemma handed me. I pull out a zip-up hoodie and pull it on before zipping it up partway.I put on my necklace from Lilly and say:  
“I need to go pick up Eli’s car and drop it off at the school for him. Can you drive me?”  
“Of course. Abel and I would be happy to accompany you. We’re even both dressed now.”  
“And such handsome boys you are.”

I take Abel from Jax and lean over to kiss Jax before saying:  
“Grab the diaper bag.”

I grab my purse and cell and walk out to the living room.  
“We have to go, we have an early start. Here’s a spare key, lock up when you leave and shove the key through the mail slot.”

Kozik says:  
“I’m not leaving yet kiddo. I’m just gonna hang out for a few days. I can get a hotel room if Keith has an issue with me being here.”  
“I guess we’ll find out when he gets home tonight.”  
“Does he know about Abel?”  
“Yes. But he thinks Jax is Abel’s biological father.”  
I put the key on the counter and give everyone another hug and kiss. Jax hugs everyone and says to me:  
“The carseat is in the truck already.”  
“Awesome.”

We walk out to the truck and I buckle Abel in before getting in myself. I give Jax directions on how to get to the Kane Estate and what the gate code is. Once we’re in the driveway, I get out of the truck telling Jax to follow me to the school. I get in Eli’s car and drive to Neptune High. I park beside where his bus will drop him off and lean against the car. Jax finds a parking spot further down and walks over to meet me with Abel in his arms. 

Duncan and Logan spot us first, and Duncan comes over and says:  
“Is this my nephew?”  
“Yes. You haven’t told Dad, have you?”  
“No. Of course not. I only know because Logan came over all upset last night…You are going to tell Dad tonight, right?”  
“Of course. Would you like to hold him?”  
“Maybe tonight when there’s less people?”  
“Sure Duncan.”

Eli’s bus pulls up then and Duncan and Logan walk away. When Eli gets off the bus, he spots me right away and starts walking over. I toss the car keys at him and he catches them easily, shaking his head with a sad smile.  
“I told you the car was yours V.”  
“You said it could be mine if I wanted it. I don’t want it, and you need it. I hear your bike is in the ocean.”  
“I had to do things my way.”  
“Because you don’t trust me. I know. I get it. It’s fine. You have your car, and now we’re done. Let’s go Jax.”

As we start to walk away, Eli says:  
“I do love you, you know.”  
“And I love you. But without trust, we can’t have a relationship.”  
“Not even friends?”  
“Not even friends.”  
“Is that Abel?”  
“Yeah.”  
“He’s beautiful V.”  
“Thank you.”

We keep walking until we get to the truck. Jax buckles Abel in, and I kiss him before getting in the truck.  
“Thank you Jax.”  
“For what?”  
“For being someone I can trust.”  
“Where to, babe?”  
“Lamb’s apartment.”

When we pull up in front of the apartment, I say:  
“I’ll be right back.”  
“Don’t overplay it babe.”  
I look at him and blink.  
“My Dad used to be sheriff, remember? I know how to do this.”

As I get out of the truck, my phone rings.  
“Hello?”  
“Veronica, can you come down to the station?”  
“Sacks, I’m just on my way to meet Lamb. What’s up?”  
“Lamb’s body washed up on the beach this morning. Can you come in?”  
“Yeah. I’ll be right there.”

I get back in the truck and say:  
“They found Lamb’s body. They want me to come into the station.”  
“They shouldn’t have found him yet.”  
“The ocean is unpredictable Jax. He washed up this morning.”  
“Ugh. I knew we should have buried him.”  
“It’s all good Jax. Let’s go into the station.”

When we park the truck outside the sheriff’s station, I take off my SAMCRO hoodie.  
“Going in as civilians?”  
“Best not to attract unwanted attention right now.”  
“Good point.”  
He’s wearing a plain black hoodie over a plain white t-shirt, so he doesn’t need to adjust his clothing, but he does open the glove compartment and place his rings, knife, and gun inside. I grab my purse and get out of the truck before unbuckling Abel and picking him up.  
“So what’s the plan here, babe?”  
“I tell them I was meeting with Lamb to introduce him to his son.”

I stop walking and look at him.  
“You be quiet unless directly asked a question, and be the charming guy you are with me, not the biker, okay?”  
“Lovey dovey Jax, coming right up.”  
“Good man.”  
He wraps his arm around my waist and we walk into the station. When we get to the desk Inga says:  
“Veronica. How are you dear?”  
“Hi Inga. I’m okay. How are you?”  
“Oh, fine, fine. I think Deputy Sacks and Deputy D’Amato are waiting for you in the sheriff’s office.”  
“Thank you Inga.”

Jax whispers in my ear as we walk to the sheriff’s office:  
“She didn’t mention me or Abel.”  
“Dad told her about Abel already. I’m not surprised she didn’t say anything.”  
We get to the office door and Sacks says:  
“Hey Veronica, come in.”  
“Hey Sacks.”  
“Is this Abel? Can I?”  
“Yeah, Sacks, of course.”

I hand Abel to Sacks and he spends a couple of minutes focused on the baby. When he hands Abel back to me he says:  
“Sit down guys.”

Jax and I each take one of the chairs in front of the sheriff’s desk. Sacks sits on the edge of the desk closest to us and Leo is sitting in the desk chair.   
“Do you know what happened, Sacks?”  
“He was shot. We know that much.”

I snuggle Abel closer to me and summon a few tears. Leo says:  
“Why were you meeting with him this morning? Your last interaction was…unpleasant.”  
“We had our issues, yeah, but I was hoping to talk to him about that and to introduce him to his son.”

Leo just stares at me in shock and Sacks looks between Jax and I and then looks at Abel.  
“He’s Don’s?”  
“Yeah.”  
“You were only fifteen when you got pregnant, Veronica.”  
“Yes. Hence the basis of my issues with Don.”  
“Jesus. Aside from the obvious statutory rape issues, was it at least consensual?”

Jax mutters, just loudly enough to be heard:  
“No. It was rape.”  
“Jax. It’s not important now.”

Sacks sighs deeply and runs his hand over his face.   
“I have to ask Veronica…Where were you last night?”  
“The Neptune Grand presidential suite with people. I can give you their information if you need it. And then at the apartment with Jax, and then his parents and Abel got here.”  
“Jax? Where were you all night?”  
“At the hotel with Ronnie, then I went for a ride to clear my head. I was with my buddy Opie. I’m sure you can find traffic cam footage of us. Then the apartment with Ronnie.”  
“Jax, Keith tells me you are a member of the Sons of Anarchy. Do I need to be concerned about you being here?”  
“No. I’m here as a civilian. Abel and I are moving here to be with Veronica until she graduates next year.”

Leo speaks up:  
“I’m confused. If Abel is Veronica and Don’s son, why are you and he moving here? Why did you have him?”  
“Abel is the product of rape, Leo. I didn’t find out I was pregnant until I was dating Jax. He took care of me throughout my pregnancy and offered to take care of Abel until I graduated. When you look up Abel’s birth certificate, which I’m sure you will, you’ll see that Jackson Teller is listed as Abel’s father. And that Abel’s last name is Teller. I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to tell Don about Abel.”  
“How would that have worked with you living in Neptune?”  
“I wasn’t supposed to be. I was supposed to be in Seattle until I graduated and then I was going to move to Charming.”  
“So what changed?”  
“My mom died. Since I was…am only 17, I had to move home to live with Dad. Who, it turns out is not actually my Dad, so I’m not sure how that’s going to work.”

Sacks looks shocked and says:  
“If Keith isn’t your dad…who is?”  
“Jake Kane.”  
Sacks looks like I’ve short circuited his brain. He reaches for my hand and says:  
“Ronnie…are you okay with this information?”  
“Don’t really have a choice, do I Jerry?”  
“Does Keith know?”  
“Not yet. I’m going to talk to him tomorrow morning. He doesn’t get home until late tonight.”  
“Does Jake know about Abel?”  
“No. I’m telling him tonight at dinner.”  
“Does Duncan know?”  
“Yes. Logan was at the hotel with me and knows everything. He went to see Duncan at the Kane house when he left.”  
“When did he leave?”  
“About an hour before Jax and Ope got back…So, 10:30, 11:00 maybe?”  
“Did anyone else leave?”  
“Eli Navarro.”  
“When?”  
“Same time as Logan. He found out about Abel and he left.”  
“Do you think he could have killed Don?”  
“No. He was busy being jumped out of the PCHers. He was beaten to a pulp and his bike was thrown in the ocean. He didn’t kill Don.”

Leo looks at Jax and I and says:  
“Do either of you have any idea who could have killed Lamb?”  
“It wasn’t any of us, Leo. He was in Liam Fitzpatrick’s pocket though, so maybe it was them?”  
“He was what?”  
“The Fitzpatricks owned him, Leo. How did you not know that?”  
“I’m new.”  
I mutter under my breath:  
“And blind and stupid obviously.”

I look at Sacks and say:  
“Are you done with us? It’s time for Abel’s nap and I have a meeting with Clemmons.”  
“Yeah. Are you sticking around?”  
“For a couple of weeks, then we’ll be in Charming for a couple of weeks. That’s how we’re spending the summer.”  
“Fine. Jax? No Sons business in Neptune.”  
“No problem. I’m not here for work. I’m here for my girl.”

We walk out of the station and get back in the truck. Jax puts his rings back on and puts his knife and gun where they belong.  
“Where now babe?”  
“Home. I wasn’t kidding about Abel needing a nap.”  
“I think Mommy might need a nap too.”  
“Yeah, but I do have a meeting with Clemmons. Maybe you can stay at the apartment with Abel and I can take the truck to my appointment?”  
“Why don’t you get Kozik to take you?”  
“I am capable of being on my own Jax.”  
“I know. You’re a badass. I just worry.”  
“Fine. Since he’s here I’ll get him to take me, but you are going to have to get used to me going places on my own.”  
“Am I?”  
“Do you frequently hear Clay tell Gemma where she can and can’t go alone?”  
“No, but my mother is…terrifying.”  
“I am going to be the V.P.’s old lady. I’m going to need the terrifying persona too, if only to command the respect of the crow eaters so they keep their disgusting claws off my man. You can’t coddle me.”

Jax laughs.  
“What is so funny?”  
“Babe, according to the crow eaters, you have been my old lady since Seattle. They are fucking terrified of you.”  
“Good. But you and the guys need to not coddle me, and as long as you are overprotective, they will be too. You need to let go a little. Please Jax.”  
“I’ll work on it.”  
“That’s all I ask. Now, kiss me.”  
“Bossy.”

He leans over and kisses me before saying:  
“Are you sure you don’t have time for a nap before your meeting?”  
“I’m sure. But maybe we can sneak in a quick nap before dinner.”

When we get back to the apartment, Cliff is standing in the parking lot. I get out of the truck and unbuckle Abel and carry him over to Cliff.  
“Hey Cliff. What’s up?”  
“I just stepped outside while Keith and Kozik talk.”  
“Dad’s home?”  
“Yup.”

I hand Abel to Jax and say:  
“I need to go referee.”

I walk into the apartment and say:  
“Hi Daddy.”  
“Sit down Veronica.”

I sit down on the couch next to Kozik. He puts his arm around my shoulders and kisses the side of my head.  
“Don’t touch my daughter.”  
“Daddy, Kozik has never done anything to hurt me. He protected me as much as he could. He tried to get Mom sober. He let me stay with him when things with Lee got bad. Don’t hate him. He’s a good guy.”  
“I need you to tell me everything Veronica. And truthfully.”  
“Fine. Can Jax and Abel come in? Abel needs a bottle and a nap.”  
“Yeah, of course.”  
He walks over to the door to tell Jax to come in and I call Mr. C to reschedule our meeting. Jax walks in with Abel and Kozik stands up and says:  
“I’ll take care of Abel. Jax, sit with your girl.”  
Jax hands Abel to Kozik and comes to sit next to me. He whispers:  
“What’s going on?”  
“Dad wants to know everything. I need you to stay calm.”  
“Yeah, okay babe.”

Dad sits down in the chair and I start at the beginning, I tell him everything that happened in Seattle, including the truth about Abel’s father. By the end, I’m crying, Dad’s crying, Kozik is leaning against the kitchen counter crying, and Jax is practically vibrating with anger next to me.  
“So Don raped you?”  
“Yeah.”  
“And now he’s dead?”  
“Yup.”  
“Do we know who did it?”  
“Are you asking as my father or the soon-to-be-sheriff?”  
“Your father.”

Jax clears his throat and says:  
“I did it.”  
“Good. Thank you Jax.”

Dad says:  
“What about Lee? Where is he now?”  
“Don’t know. He was handled as club business. I didn’t get the details.”  
“You again Jax?”  
“No sir. Tig and Chibs.”  
“And the prospect that supplied the drugs?”  
Kozik speaks up then:  
“That was me. He’s in the mountains outside Seattle.”  
Dad turns his head and makes eye contact with Kozik.  
“Thank you.”

Dad reaches over and takes my hand:  
“Where is Eli?”  
“He found out about Abel and split. He said he couldn’t trust me, and that it hurt to see how much Jax loves me.”  
“Well, I’m the opposite, because it makes me very happy to see how much Jax loves you. And clearly that translates to the Sons in general, but in Charming in particular.”  
“There’s something else I need to tell you Daddy.”  
“Okay…”  
“Jake Kane convinced me to let him do a paternity test. He’s my biological father.”  
“I thought he might be. What does this mean for us?”  
“Nothing. You will always be my Daddy.”  
“If Jax and Abel are moving to Neptune for your senior year, you guys can’t live here. It’s not big enough.”  
“Yeah…I’m going to ask Jake for an apartment.”  
“Smart girl. Does he know about Abel?”  
“Nope. I’m going to blindside him at dinner with the fact that he’s a grandpa.”  
“Oh, I’d love to be a fly on the wall for that.”

Dad looks at me and Jax and says:  
“Go nap while Abel does. You both look exhausted.”  
“Can I leave you and Kozik alone?”  
“Yes. I have no problems with him. He can stay here while he’s in town.”

I stand up and lean over Dad and kiss his head.  
“Thank you Daddy.”

Jax and I walk towards the bedroom, and I stop to kiss Kozik on the cheek on my way by, whispering:  
“You know I love you, right?”  
“Yeah kiddo. The feeling is mutual.”

As I’m walking down the hall I say over my shoulder:  
“Don’t forget poor Cliffie outside.”  
I hear Dad say:  
“Oh shit.”  
I start laughing and walk into the bedroom with Jax, closing the door behind us. As Jax removes all sharp and hard objects from his clothing I check my phone. There’s a message from Jake saying: ‘Come over early. Around 3. Bring your swimsuit, we’ll have a BBQ.’

“Jax, honey, do you have a swim suit?”  
“Not with me. Do I need to go to the store?”  
“Yeah. While you’re at it, buy sunscreen, swimming diapers, and a swim suit for Abel.”  
“Okay. I’ll go now. You nap.”  
“Oh. Get a sun hat for him too.”

Jax steps over to me and kisses me.  
“Nap babe. What time do we have to be there?”  
“3:00.”  
“Well, it’s 11:00 now. I’ll run to the store and be back in plenty of time.”

Jax leaves the room and is back moments later.  
“I thought you were going to the store?”  
“Kozik says I look like I’m about to pass out. He’s going for me.”  
“Did you tell him your size and Abel’s size?”  
“Yes dear.”  
“Sorry, Jax.”  
“Move over babe.”

I shuffle over in the bed and Jax lies down next to me. I turn to curl into him and say:  
“Are you sure about moving here? You won’t be bored?”  
“Yes, I’m sure about moving here. It’ll be nice to just be a civilian for a while. Also, I like being with you.”  
“Yeah, it’s just, you had this idea right after sex, so I thought I’d check in when you weren’t full of happy chemicals.”  
“I told you the idea after sex. I had the idea months ago. I was going to suggest Abel and I move to Seattle while you finished school. Then everything with Lee happened, and Clay forbid me from going up there. He thought I would kill Lee without club approval.”  
“Would you have?”

His eyes flash angrily, his jaw tightens, and his fingers tighten on my hip.  
“I would have ripped him apart and they never would have found the pieces.”  
I put my hand on his cheek and say:  
“Oh, Jax. I’m okay.”  
“He hurt you for months and your mother did nothing. Tacoma did nothing. I should have been there. I never should have left you with that drunk. I should have brought you home to Keith or brought you to Charming with me.”  
“Sweetheart, it’s not your fault. Everything is okay.”  
“I should have been there. If I had stayed in Tacoma he never would have felt like it was safe for him to repeatedly rape my old lady.”  
“Jax, it’s been a long few days, and I don’t want to think about Lee anymore. Can we just sleep for a little bit? I’m safe. I’m in your arms.”

I lean in and kiss him. He pulls me closer to himself and deepens the kiss, clinging to me like he’s trying to convince himself that I’m really okay. He has tears in his eyes when we pull apart.  
“I love you so much, Jax.”  
“I love you. Can you please officially be my old lady?”  
“How do we make that official?”  
“Marry me.”  
“Can we make the old lady status official without that? Not that I don’t want to marry you, but I am only 17. I’d like to at least go to university before I get married.”  
“It’s easy to make official within the club, but I want everyone to know that you are mine.”  
“I guess we could get engaged. I mean, we’ll be living together and raising Abel together anyways.”

He laughs and says:  
“So romantic babe.”  
“I’m a teenager. How much romance you want, old man?”  
“Old man? Old man?! You’re going to pay for that little girl.”  
He starts tickling me, rolling on top of me to pin me down. I’m laughing and squealing when there’s a knock on the door and I hear Dad’s voice say:  
“That doesn’t sound like napping. Do I need to separate you?”

I am laughing and gasping as I say:  
“Daddy! He’s tickling me!”  
Dad laughs and says:  
“Well, don’t wake up my grandson.”

I hear Dad walk away from the door and I gasp and say:  
“Jax, stop. I can’t breathe.”  
He stops tickling me, but doesn’t move off of me. I just stare up at him, studying his face; his always messy, short, blonde hair; his full, lush lips, surrounded by laugh lines; his extremely expressive blue eyes…  
“Veronica?”  
“What?”  
“You just seemed lost in thought there babe.”  
“Just admiring how pretty you are.”  
“Ah…I do that with you all the time.”

I kiss him and then say:  
“Did you mean it when you said you hadn’t had sex with anyone since me?”  
“Yeah.”  
“It was eight months, Jax.”  
“Why is that so hard to believe?”  
“Because I’ve met you?”  
“Ouch, babe.”  
“Seriously though folks…no-one? Nothing?”  
“No-one. Nothing. As far as I was concerned, you were my old lady. I wasn’t about to jeopardize that.”  
“But I…”   
“You were with people. I know, babe.”  
“And you’re okay with that?”  
“Honestly? No. But you are a teenager and I left…Besides, prior to Eli, they were all Sons. Which makes it better, I think?”  
“Does it? Because I would think that would make it worse.”  
“Because they’re my brothers?”  
“Yeah.”  
“It makes it easier for me. I don’t expect you to understand, I know it’s weird.”

Then he says:  
“But we’re together now…So I don’t need to worry about anyone else touching you.”  
“Just you sweetheart…Only you.”  
He leans down and kisses me, running one of his hands up under the edge of my shirt.   
“How quiet can you be babe?”  
“Not quiet enough. Besides, we really should nap while Abel sleeps.”

He rolls off of me and pulls me tight against his chest.  
“It hurt seeing you lying on the couch with Juice last night.”  
“Jax…Nothing will ever happen between Juice and I.”  
“But seeing him wrapped around you, knowing he’s had a crush on you for years, and knowing that you cared enough about him to beg your Dad to get him a new identity to keep him safe…”  
“I begged Dad to help him because he was innocent. He was being set up by a corrupt ATF agent. And yeah, he’s had a crush on me for years, but that’s all it is. A crush. He loves you, Jax. You are his brother. I could literally parade around naked in front of him and he wouldn’t do anything about it.”  
“And you?”  
“I love Juice like I love the rest of the guys. He’s family. It doesn’t bother you when I cuddle with Opie does it?”  
“No, because I know he loves you.”  
“I am just as likely to fuck Opie as I am to fuck Juice.”  
“So I don’t need to worry at all then?”  
“Not at all. It’s you, Jax. It’s always been you.”

As he kisses me there’s a knock on the door and then the door opens.   
“Yeah, I figured you weren’t sleeping in here. Don’t know how the two of you are going to survive living together if you can’t keep your hands off each other long enough to sleep.”  
“Kozik.”

He throws a couple of bags at Jax and says:  
“Your purchases my prince.”  
“Thanks, man.”  
“Ronnie? That Eli guy is here.”  
“Okay. I’ll be right out.”

I try to pull away to get up, but Jax holds me in place.  
“Don’t go to him.”  
“If he’s here there’s either something wrong or he wants to explain why he was a dick.”  
“Stay with me.”  
“Jax…I am yours. A conversation with Eli is not going to change that. But he deserves an opportunity to explain why he walked away from me after he told me he wouldn’t. I deserve an answer.”

He loosens his arms and I lean in and kiss him before getting up and saying:  
“I love you.”

I walk out of the room and out to the living room.  
“Where is he?”  
“Down on the deck. Do you want company?”  
“No. I’m not afraid of Eli.”

I walk down to the deck and say:  
“Why are you here?”  
“Just wondering if I should be on the lookout for stay bullets.”  
“Why? You planning on raping me?”  
“What? No. Of course not.”  
“Than you are safe…Unless of course Thumper changes his mind about letting you out relatively whole. But that wouldn’t be my fault. If that’s all, I have a dinner to get ready for.”

He reaches for me and I sidestep his hands.  
“Don’t touch me.”  
“V…”  
“No. You promised me you wouldn’t leave. You promised I could tell you what happened and it wouldn’t change how you felt about me.”  
“You have a son!”  
“I was raped and got pregnant, yes.”  
“Why couldn’t you go through with the abortion?”  
“Because I had seen an ultrasound. I had heard his heartbeat. It wasn’t his fault…Who his father was, how he was conceived. I just couldn’t do it.”  
“Why didn’t you put him up for adoption?”  
“I thought about it…But over the months I fell in love with him, and Jax fell in love with him. So when Jax said that he’d take the place of Abel’s father and raise him until I was done high school…I knew it was what I was supposed to do.”  
“And you fell in love with Jax.”  
“Yeah. I did.”  
“So why date other people?”  
“We were apart…officially broken up. I felt like I needed to move on with my life.”  
“Did he move on with his?”  
“Are you asking if he dated anyone else?”  
“Dated, fucked, whatever.”  
“No. He didn’t. He says that even though we were technically broken up he always considered me to be his old lady and didn’t want to hurt me like that.”  
“And you bought that line?”  
“Yes.”  
“Why?”  
“Because Jax has never been less than honest with me. He has always been completely truthful with me.”  
“So he tells you everything?”  
“I’ve never had reason to believe otherwise. Why?”  
“I just didn’t think most guys tell their old ladies everything.”

I hear someone walking up behind me, and Jax says:  
“Well, I tell mine everything. Opie tells Donna nothing, but Clay has always told my Mom everything and I think that’s a better example. I mean, Veronica is going to be my Queen one day. She needs to know everything.”   
“You’re officially his old lady now? Gonna do the long distance thing?”  
“Yes I am, but no long distance. He and Abel are moving here for my senior year, then we’ll all move back to Charming.”  
“What about Stanford? It’s your dream.”  
“It’s only an hour and a half from Charming. I’ll commute.”  
“So you’re going to do your senior year of high school and then university and law school all while in a relationship with the V.P. of a MC and raising a child?”

Jax wraps his arms around my waist and says:  
“She can handle it, and she’ll have lots of help.”  
“Yeah…Until you go to prison again, or die.”

I roll my eyes at him.  
“Eli, I understand the risks associated with my chosen life. I don’t need you to lay them out for me. Now, we have a dinner to get ready for. Goodbye.”

I turn around and take Jax’s hand and walk back up to the apartment. Halfway through the parking lot he stops walking and pulls me towards him before kissing me.  
“What was that for?”  
“For loving me. For believing in me. For trusting me.”  
“You don’t tell me everything.”  
“I know. I’ll start.”  
“Please.”

When we get inside the apartment, I head into the bedroom to pack a bag with Abel’s things, Jax’s swim suit and a change of clothes for me. As I’m organizing the bag, Jax walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist before whispering in my ear:  
“Abel is still sleeping. Come shower with me.”  
I turn around in his arms and wrap my arms around his neck before saying:  
“For hygiene purposes or other purposes?”  
“Both?”  
“There isn’t enough hot water for both. You must pick one.”  
“Well then…other purposes, definitely other purposes.”

I kiss him and he picks me up and then Abel starts crying. Jax sighs against my mouth and puts me down.  
“Our son has excellent timing.”  
I laugh and walk over to Abel.  
“Hi baby boy. You’re awake now, huh? You want to get ready to go meet your grandparents and uncle?”

I pick him up and kiss his cheeks while I carry him over to the change table.   
“Pass me the sunscreen, Jax? I should put some on him now.”

I get Abel undressed and change his diaper before putting sunscreen on him and getting him dressed in a new outfit — a light blue onesie with a sailboat on the front, dark blue shorts, and white shoes. While I’m doing that, Jax gets changed into clean clothes — jeans and a dark blue SAMCRO t-shirt. He leaves his rings on my dresser and puts his gun and knife in the top drawer.  
“No weapons?”  
“I’m here as a civilian, remember? Also, I think showing up to your billionaire father’s house with a gun might go over…poorly.”  
“Good call.”  
“I’m going to take Abel out and feed him a snack. You get dressed.”

He takes Abel and leaves the room, closing the door behind him. I dig through my dresser drawers until I find the bikini I want — dark blue with gold coloured metal hoops on the sides of the bottoms and the middle of the top. Then I pull out a dark blue halter sundress with small white daisies on the strap and hem. I get dressed and then quickly put my hair in two French braids and put on a pair of white tennis shoes. I grab my purse and Abel’s bag, and walk out of the room. 

When I get to the living room, Abel has finished his snack and he reaches for me from his position in Jax’s arms. Jax laughs and says:  
“What? Daddy fed you and now you only have eyes for Mommy?”  
As I take Abel from Jax’s arms I say:  
“He’s a smart kid.”  
Jax says in a low voice:  
“Yeah he is. You look gorgeous babe.”  
“We should go.”  
“Yeah, okay.”

I say goodbye to Dad and Kozik and we walk out of the apartment. By the time we get to the Kane house, Jax’s fingers are tight on the steering wheel.  
“Relax sweetheart. Duncan and Jake will like you, and Celeste doesn’t like anyone but Duncan. Everything will be fine.”  
“I love you, babe.”  
“I love you too. Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.”

Jax parks the truck and we get out. We walk up to the front door and ring the bell. Logan answers it.  
“You don’t live here…”  
“You’re right, but I couldn’t miss this dinner. Hey Jax.”  
“Hey Logan.”  
“The three of you make a ridiculously good-looking family. You know that?”  
“Thanks Lo.”  
“Can I hold Abel?”  
“Yeah.”

I pass Abel to Logan and we all go inside. I take Jax’s hand as we cross into the living room and I see Jake sitting on the couch next to Celeste. Jake stands up and says:  
“Veronica. You made it.”  
“Hi Dad, Mrs. Kane.”  
“Call her Celeste, dear.”  
“I think I’ll leave that up to Mrs. Kane.”

Celeste shifts her eyes to look at me and gives me a slight nod of thanks. Jake looks at Jax and over at Logan and Abel.  
“And who is this?”

I take Abel from Logan and say:  
“This is Abel. My son.”  
“Your son? Who is his father? This man?”  
He gestures towards Jax.  
“Jax is legally his father and has raised him for the first nine months of his life, and will be moving here to live with me so we can raise him together, but biologically Abel’s father is Don Lamb.”

Jake eyes Jax suspiciously.  
“He looks much older than you.”  
“He’s 27, but Dad, Jax has been nothing but wonderful to me and Abel. He’s a good man. Please give him a chance.”  
“Clarence will have to look into him.”  
“Clarence already has. He just waited to give you the information so I could talk to you first. I will tell you everything Dad, but I need you to keep an open mind and just focus on the fact that Jax loves Abel and me.”  
“Fine. Jax, Logan, why don’t you take Abel swimming while I talk to my daughter?”

Jax squeezes my hand and I look at him and nod.  
“I’m okay sweetheart.”  
“Okay babe.”  
Jax takes Abel from me and then Logan grabs the diaper bag from me and says:  
“Follow me, Jax. You and Abel can get changed down here.”

Hey, Jax? Put more sunscreen on him when you’re getting him dressed.”  
“I have done this before babe.”  
“In Charming…The sun is different here. You’re going to need sunscreen on your back too.”

Logan says:  
“I can help with that if you want. I usually put Duncan’s on. I’m very efficient.”  
Jax follows Logan out of the room saying:  
“Yeah, man. Thanks.”

Celeste stands up and says:  
“Let’s take this conversation out to the patio. That way we can watch Abel in the water.”  
She puts her arm around my waist and leads me outside. I take the opportunity to quietly say:  
“I’m sorry Mrs. Kane. I know seeing me hurts you. I don’t want to be a source of pain for you. What can I do?”  
“The dark hair helps.”  
“Yeah, I look less like Lianne, and more like Duncan.”  
“Exactly, dear. And Jake’s right, you can call me Celeste.”  
“Okay. I’ll do that. Thank you, Celeste.”

We sit down across from each other at the patio table and Celeste says:  
“Would you like a drink, dear?”  
“Lemonade?”  
“Good choice. It’s wonderfully made today.”

She pours us each a glass and sets mine down in front of me.  
“Thank you.”  
Jake pours himself a stronger drink than lemonade and sits down at the head of the table.   
“I asked the other night Veronica, but now I’m demanding answers. What happened in Seattle? All of it.”  
“I will tell you everything, but I will not censor myself. I will tell you exactly what happened.”  
“Good.”

I take a deep breath and a sip of my lemonade and start talking:  
“Right after we moved to Seattle, Mom started dating this guy…he was a yeller, and when I would walk away from him he would pull me back by my hair. One night about a month after we moved, he pulled so hard a chunk of hair actually came out. When I finally got away from him I took scissors to my ponytail, hence the short hair. That night was the night Abel was conceived.”  
“I decided I couldn’t be in that apartment any longer, so I got dolled up and went in search of a party. I was still “the new girl” so I hadn’t made many friends yet. Sheriff Lamb had been at the apartment earlier in the day, before the last hair pulling incident, to take a final statement from me about Lilly. I didn’t realize he was parked outside of the apartment building when I left. He told me later that he suspected I was being abused by either my mom or her boyfriend and he was sitting there hoping to talk to me on my own. But that doesn’t explain him following me to the party. He followed me in, and while he was very clearly older than the majority of the people at the party, he was good looking enough that people ignored it. I was standing in the corner, trying not to interact with anyone when he walked up with two cups and a bottle of vodka. Have a drink with me Veronica. So I did. And then another, and another. We finished the bottle and then danced together. While we were dancing, he was running his hands over my body, brushing his thumbs over the side of my breasts. When he leaned down to kiss me, I let it happen. After all…this was Don Lamb. I had a crush on him for years. He wouldn’t hurt me…right? He suggested we go back to his hotel and I agreed. I wasn’t planning on having sex with him. I was still a virgin and I still held out hope that my first time would be with someone who loved me. When we got to his hotel room, he made more drinks. I was in his hotel room drinking for an hour before he tried touching me again. He kissed me again and started unlacing my shirt. When he got my shirt off, he started undoing my jeans and I whimpered, trying to get him to stop. I didn’t want to have sex with him. When I woke up the next morning I was naked in his bed next to him, everything hurt. I didn’t remember everything from the night before. He had his arms wrapped around me, holding me to him. I tried to get out of the bed, but he just grumbled at me to go back to sleep and he would take me home later. He tightened his arms around me so I couldn’t move. I laid there and cried silently until he woke up and took me home.”

Another deep breath and drink of lemonade for me, and Celeste gets up and moves to the chair next to me and takes my hand in hers.

“I had blocked out the worst parts of it, but when he pawed at me at the party I remembered more. I remembered crying and begging him to stop. And when he showed up at the apartment and kissed me yesterday I remembered the more…physical aspects of it.”

Celeste has tears streaming down her face and she’s holding tightly to my hand.  
“Oh, Veronica…I’m so sorry.”  
“It gets worse. Believe it or not, Don Lamb is one of the least traumatic things to happen to me in Seattle.”  
“I went to the doctor a few days later. I was sore still and I knew I needed to be tested. I met Jax sitting in the waiting room. He had gotten in a fight and he had cracked ribs. We started talking, decided we enjoyed each other’s company, and went for coffee after we both saw the doctor. We started dating and I found out I was pregnant with Abel a couple of weeks later.”  
“I was originally going to have an abortion. Jax took me to my appointment, but I couldn’t go through with it. Jax supported me and took care of me my whole pregnancy. He offered to be listed as Abel’s father and offered to raise him while I finished school, so that’s what we did. He had to leave Seattle a month after Abel was born, so he took Abel back to Charming with him.”

Just then the guys walk out towards the pool with Abel. Celeste says:  
“He is a good looking sod, isn’t he?”  
“Yeah. He knows it too.”

Jax turns to get in the pool, showing us his back with his giant Sons of Anarchy tattoo. Jake says:  
“He’s SoA?”  
“He’s the V.P. in Charming. His dad was John Teller, and his step-dad is Clay Morrow. Two of the original nine.”  
“So not just an average SoA member, you are with the fucking prince.”  
“Yeah.”  
“While he’s here, will he be conducting business?”  
“No. While he’s in Neptune he’s a civilian. No SoA business will be conducted. He already promised Sacks.”

As we’re all looking at him, Jax turns around again and Celeste catches the Abel tattoo on his chest.  
“When did he get the tattoo of Abel’s name?”  
“The day Abel was born. Abel and I were both asleep and Jax snuck off for a couple of hours. When he came back he had the tattoo.”  
“Can I ask, what’s Abel’s full name?”  
“Abel Nathaniel Teller.”  
“Why Nathaniel?”  
“It’s Jax’s middle name, and his grandfather’s name.”

Jake says:  
“Why name your child after Jax?”  
“Because Jax is his father.”  
“But he isn’t. Not really.”  
“Jax is his father in every way that matters. Blood doesn’t make a family. Love does.”

Celeste says:  
“What else happened in Seattle, dear?”

“The hair pulling boyfriend took off a couple of days after I cut my hair. Mom didn’t kick him out, she didn’t care that he had hurt me. I kind of wish I had just put up with that though, because the more Mom drank the worse her boyfriends got, and the longer we were in Seattle the more she drank. The next boyfriend was amazingly nice, a member of the Sons of Anarchy Tacoma branch, they didn’t stay together long unfortunately, but he’s still around when I need him. His name is Kozik, he’s actually currently here in Neptune, staying with Dad…Keith. The guy she left Kozik for was also a Son…He hit her when he drank. He never touched me, he was actually pretty nice to me, most of the time…I think it’s because Kozik or Jax threatened him. The one after that was the worst though.”  
“She started dating the last guy, Lee, after Jax was called back to Charming. He was also a Son. President of the Tacoma branch actually. Mom thought that he was our meal ticket. That if she dated him for long enough he’d consider her his old lady and not just the chick he was fucking. The club takes care of old ladies and their kids.”

Celeste says:  
“But it didn’t turn out that way?”

I laugh bitterly and say:  
“No.”  
“When Mom would pass out drunk, he would come in my room. The first time I woke up to him shoving into me. Most nights he would threaten to hurt me or mom to get me to cooperate, but sometimes he just held me down and took what he wanted. I put locks on my door to keep him out, but then he took the door off the hinges. Then he took the bathroom door off the hinges and took the shower curtain. Mom didn’t seem to care that suddenly I had no private space in the house where I could get changed without him watching me. I told Kozik what was happening, and he let me stay with him for a bit, but there wasn’t a ton he could do, Lee was his boss after all.”  
“Mom finally broke up with him. She caught him fucking someone else and figured out he’d never consider her his old lady. Kozik started coming around again, trying to get Mom to sober up. When she was sober for a few days I told her what Lee had done. She freaked and attacked me. Kozik had to hold her back. She accused me of seducing Lee. She said it was my fault that he didn’t consider her good enough to be an old lady.”  
“About a month before Mom died I started dating this SoA prospect, younger guy, about my age. One night Mom got really drunk and propositioned him. He took her up on her offer and obviously I broke up with him.”  
“We had a few fights about him after that, but one night Mom had kicked Kozik out and had started drinking. We got into a fight and she decided she needed more booze. She wouldn’t listen to me that she was too drunk to drive. She left, and when she didn’t come home I called Kozik. On his way to our apartment he passed an accident scene. It was Mom’s car, wrapped around a pole. He stopped and talked to the cops. They told him that she was dead when they got there. He came to the apartment and held me while I cried.”

I notice that Jake has a few tears running down his face and I reach over and take his hand in mine.   
“I’m sorry, Dad.”

“When Mom died, I blamed myself. I couldn’t cope. The police didn’t notify Dad…Keith. I told them I would…but I didn’t call him right away. I waited until Kozik went to sleep and then I went out with some friends, got my hands on a bunch of pills. Went home and took the pills with about a bottle of gin.”

Celeste says:  
“You tried to kill yourself Veronica?”  
“That was my original plan, but when the pills started to kick in, I got scared and called 911. I was in the hospital on a psychiatric hold for three days. The hospital called Dad, and I had to tell him about Mom. He came to Seattle and packed up the apartment and moved everything here. He brought me my laptop bag and a bag of clothes to the hospital, but he wasn’t allowed to see me, so I didn’t actually see him until I got off the plane here.”

Jake clears his throat and says:  
“You said that Kozik is here in Neptune. I’d like to meet him. Can you get him to come over?”  
“You aren’t going to punch him or something are you?”  
“No, sweetheart. I just want to meet the man who tried so hard to protect my daughter.”  
“Okay. I’ll call him.”

I pull my phone out of my purse and dial Kozik’s number.  
“Hey Kiddo.”  
“They want to meet you. Can you make yourself presentable and come over? Dad will give you the address.”  
“Yeah. I’ll be there in a little bit.”

I hang up and throw my phone back in my purse just in time for Duncan to walk out of the house.  
“Are you done recounting all the ways Seattle destroyed my sister?”  
“Yeah, we’re done.”  
“Good. Let’s go get in the pool.”

I look at Jake and Celeste and say:  
“Is there anything else you want to know right now?”  
“No, baby. Go ahead and swim.”  
“Thanks Dad.”

I squeeze Celeste’s hand before letting go and standing up. I walk over to the edge of the pool and say:  
“Hey old man…Can you sunscreen my back?”  
“Again with the old man comment? You are going to pay for that.”

He hands Abel to Logan and climbs out of the pool as I untie the halter of my dress and step out of it. I leave my dress on one of the chairs and take off my shoes. Jax picks up the sunscreen and walks over to me. As he’s applying it to my back he whispers in my ear:  
“Are you trying to kill me? I know you have swim suits that cover more than this.”  
“It’s just a bikini, Jax. I have worn skimpier ones around this pool.”  
His voice gets lower and hoarser as he says:  
“When we get home and Abel is asleep, you’d better figure out how to be quiet little girl, because I am going to fuck you until you want to scream.”  
“Is that a threat or a promise? Because I can’t really figure it out.”

He bends his head down slightly and bites my shoulder.  
“You’re lucky I love you and I actually want your father to like me.”  
“It doesn’t really matter if he likes you…At least it doesn’t matter to me. Keith is legally my father, and he loves you. I mean, yes, life would be easier if my rich daddy likes you, but we’ll be okay either way.”  
“Well, in that case…”

He puts his hand on my cheek and turns my face so it’s pointed at him and then he kisses me. Logan starts whooping from the pool, covering Duncan’s eyes.   
“We’d better get in the pool before our son’s idiot uncles drown him.”

Logan says:  
“Uncles? I get to be an Uncle?”  
“Of course you do Lo.”

Jax mutters in my ear:  
“Poor kid…So many idiot uncles.”

Jake stands up from the patio table and says:  
“Jax, would you come join me inside for a minute?”

Jax kisses me on the cheek and grabs a towel to quickly dry off as he walks across the patio. I get in the pool and take Abel from Logan.  
“Are you having fun with your uncles baby?”  
Abel happily babbles and smacks the water, causing a splash to hit Logan square in the face.  
“I take that as a yes.”  
Duncan comes closer to Abel and I and says:  
“You know the next time you come over this house will be full of baby toys, right?”  
“Doubtful.”  
“I saw the way Mom was holding your hand. She stopped looking at you like Lianne’s daughter as soon as you said that Lianne didn’t protect you.”  
“You think?”  
“Yeah.”

I’m looking across the patio at Celeste when Jake, Jax, and Deputy Leo walk out of the house.   
“Hold him for a minute, okay?”  
I pass Abel back to Logan and get out of the pool. By the time I’m across the patio to where they are standing, Deputy Leo is staring at me and blushing. Jax hands me his towel:  
“You should put this on babe. I think the Deputy’s pants are getting uncomfortable.”  
I laugh and wrap the towel around myself.  
“Why is Leo here?”

Leo clears his throat and says:  
“I was here to arrest Jax for Don Lamb’s murder.”  
“He didn’t do it.” “I know that now. But his alibi before was sketchy…Crap, I’m sorry Mr. Kane. Veronica wasn’t supposed to know about the alibi.”

I turn and look at Jax and Jake and say:  
“Speak. As far as I know, you were out riding with Opie.”  
“We were here babe. I wanted to introduce myself to your Dad and it ended up being a long conversation.”  
“Hmmm…We’ll talk later at home about you lying to me after promising you were going to tell me everything.”

Jax leans over and kisses the side of my head, then wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me close to him.

“So, Leo. Now that you know it wasn’t Jax, who is your lead suspect?”  
“I don’t have one. Don Lamb had a talent for pissing off, well, everyone. Hopefully your Dad…Keith…has better luck when he starts investigating tomorrow.”  
“Hopefully. Some closure would be good. For Abel if nothing else.”  
“I feel like I need to apologize for our first couple interactions, Veronica. I should have stopped him at the party, and showing up at your apartment to pressure you into filing a complaint was unacceptable. So, I’m sorry.”  
“Apology accepted. Thanks Leo.”

Leo shakes Jax’s hand and Jake’s hand and then walks back through the house to leave. Once he’s out the front door I turn and face Jax and Jake. I point at Jax and say:  
“He wasn’t here. Why did you give him an alibi?”  
“Because he killed the man that hurt my daughter. I would provide a hundred alibis.”

I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist.  
“Thanks Dad.”

I hear Jax say from behind me:  
“I’m going to get Abel dressed. I think he’s had enough sun.”  
“Yeah, I’ll come with you. Clothes would be nice.”

I walk over to the pool and am in the process of bending down to pick up my shoes and dress when I’m picked up and thrown in the pool.  
“Logan!”  
He’s standing on the pool deck with Duncan and Jax, all three of them are laughing.  
“How’d you know it was me?!”  
“It’s always you, you jackass! Since we were twelve, every time I’ve been thrown in a pool it’s been you!”

I climb out of the pool and smack him.  
“You ass.”  
“Sorry, Ronnie. I couldn’t resist.”  
Jax and Duncan start walking away and I say quietly:  
“Don’t think I didn’t notice the feel you copped while picking me up. Not cool Lo.”  
“Sorry…Couldn’t resist that either.”

I hand him the soaking wet towel and take his mostly dry one before picking up my dress and shoes.  
“Where did you put Jax to get dressed?”  
“Lilly’s room.”

I walk into Lilly’s room and find Jax getting Abel dressed. I close the door behind me and walk up behind Jax and wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head on his back.  
“I love you.”  
“Did you kill Logan for the feel he copped?”  
“You caught that huh?”  
“Yeah, yeah I did. I figured I’d let him have it.”  
“Oh you did, did you? That’s so kind of you.”

I poke him in the side and step back to dig through the bag for my change of clothes — a pair of black shorts and a red tank top with SAMCRO written on the chest. Once I find them I get changed. Jax hands Abel to me and kisses me before saying:  
“I love you, babe.”  
“Uh huh. Get dressed. Abel and I will be out with them.”

I look at Lilly’s dresser, and see a picture of the four of us in the backyard. I remember that day. Lilly was talking about how she hid things in her vents. I pass Abel back to Jax and find Lilly’s screwdriver on her desk. I pull the chair over and stand on it to unscrew the vent cover.  
“Babe…what are you doing?”  
“Lilly used to hide things in her vent. It’s something she learned from Logan. I’m just seeing if anything’s here. The last thing she said to me was that she had a secret, a good one.”

I get the vent cover off and stick my hand in the vent. I pull out three tapes. Two of them are marked: ‘A + L, Oct 1’ and ‘L + V, Aug 2’. The third tape is not marked.  
“Lilly’s secret?”  
“Maybe? I need to find a way to watch these.”

I take Abel back and walk out of the room. I happen to run into Duncan in the hallway and I say:  
“I was thinking about the last thing Lilly said to me, that she had a secret, and it was a good one…So I checked her vent, and found these.”

I hold the tapes out and he says:  
“I have a camera we can play these on. Come with me.”

We walk into his bedroom and find Logan putting his shirt on. Duncan digs out the camera and we all sit on the edge of his bed to watch the tapes.   
“Which one should we start with?”  
“This one.”  
I hold out the tape labelled ‘L + V, Aug 2’. He puts it in and presses play. The picture comes up and it’s me and Lilly, lying on a bed talking.  
“That’s the pool house at my house.”  
“Yeah, Lo. It is.”  
“What were you talking about?”  
“I don’t know.”

Duncan turns up the sound and suddenly the room fills with the sound of Lilly and me laughing. I feel my eyes fill with tears and when I look at Duncan and Logan they are both crying too.  
“Let’s look at the next tape.”  
I hand Duncan the unlabelled tape. When he presses play it shows Lilly lying on the bed, looking at the ceiling, before she notices the camera and the cables. The rest of the video is her trying to figure out how the camera system works before it just goes to static.  
“That was the day she died. She was still wearing her pep squad uniform.”  
“Give me the last tape Ronnie.”

I hand it to Duncan and adjust how I’m holding Abel because suddenly Logan’s arms are around my waist and his face is buried in my neck.  
“Logan?”  
“I didn’t install the cameras Ronnie…My dad must have, and that tape is labelled A+L. I don’t want to watch.”  
“Do you want to take Abel out to the living room?”  
“Can I?”  
“Yeah, Lo. Go.”  
He kisses my cheek, stands up, and takes Abel. Once he’s out of the room I take Duncan’s hand and say:  
“Press play brother dearest.”

He presses play and the video is exactly what I was afraid it was. Lilly is having sex with Mr. Echolls. Duncan and I are both crying when I say:  
“Turn it off. We don’t need to watch this.”  
He takes the tape out and we walk, hand-in-hand, out to the living room. Logan takes one look at us and says:  
“It was him, wasn’t it? He was having sex with Lilly and then he killed her because she took the tapes.”  
“I think so.”

I grab my purse to get my phone and dial Dad’s number:  
“Hey kiddo.”  
“Kozik?”  
“We’re just walking out the door heading there.”   
“Okay. So, like…Ten minutes then?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Tell Dad to hurry. I have something. Evidence about Lilly.”  
“He says to call Leo.”  
“Okay.”

I hang up and dial the number for the sheriff’s station.  
“Balboa County Sheriff’s office, Deputy D’Amato speaking.”  
“Leo? It’s Veronica. Can you come back to the Kane house?”  
“Yeah. Why? Your Dad want to alibi your boyfriend for another murder he totally committed?”  
“Duncan and I found evidence about Lilly.”  
“I’ll be right there.”

I hang up and put the tapes on the coffee table before sitting on Jax’s lap and burying my face in his neck. Jake says:  
“Veronica? What’s on the tapes? Who is the he that Logan mentioned?”  
“It was Aaron Echolls.”  
“Those tapes are of Aaron Echolls and Lilly…”  
“One of them is. One is of Lilly finding the camera the day she died. And one is of Lilly and I lying on the bed talking.”

Celeste takes Abel from Logan and says:  
“Come with Grandma, little boy. Mommy, your uncles, and Grandpa are sad, and Daddy has his hands full with Mommy. We’ll go check on dinner and get you a snack.”  
“Thank you Celeste…But, aren’t you?”  
“Sad? I don’t get sad in front of people my dear. Besides, baby snuggles solve all sorts of issues.”

Duncan and Logan are sitting together on the couch, leaning against each other for support, while Jax is sitting next to them with me curled in his lap. Jake is pacing the room, talking about how he’s going to kill Aaron. Jax speaks up and says:  
“Anything you need, I’m here sir.”  
“Thank you Jackson. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Logan quietly says:  
“You’re talking about my Dad.”  
“Lo…he killed Lilly. He slept with the love of your life and then killed her. He beats you.”  
“He’s still my Dad. My Mom’s already dead. I’ll have no-one.”  
“You’ll have us. You’ll always have us. Plus, I have three father figures in my life and a father-in-law. You can have one of mine if you want.”

Logan leans over and puts his head on my lap. I gently run my fingers through his hair.   
“Everything will be okay, Logan. I promise. Whether your Dad goes to prison or meets other ends, you will always have us.”  
“You’re leaving after senior year. You’re moving to Charming.”  
“So come with us. Abel would love having an Uncle around that’s not always busy with the MC.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah. Why not?”  
“Jax?”

Jax looks at Logan and says:  
“I have zero problems with you coming with us man.”

There’s a knock on the door and Jake goes over to answer it.  
“Hi Keith. And you must be Kozik.”  
“Hi Jake.”  
“Come in. The pile of puppies is in the living room.”  
“What?”

They walk in the room and Dad says:  
“Ah. I see. Veronica, who watched the tapes?”  
“Duncan and I.”  
“What is on them?”  
“The one labelled August 2 is Lilly and I, lying on the bed in the Echolls’ poolhouse, talking. The unlabelled one is the day Lilly died, she’s still wearing her pep squad uniform, she spotted the cameras and then the tape just went to static. The one labelled October 1 is Lilly and Aaron Echolls having sex.”

Kozik sits on the couch next to Jax and starts rubbing my back. I reach over Logan to hold Duncan’s hand. 

“Did you call Leo?”  
“Yeah. He said he was on his way.”  
“Where is Abel?”  
“With Celeste in the kitchen. She was going to get him a snack.”

There’s another knock on the door and Dad goes to answer it.  
“Hey Leo, thanks for coming.”

They walk in the living room and I watch Leo’s eyes take in the scene on the couch. I realize how it looks, four guys on the couch and me, but I don’t care.  
“We aren’t the evidence, Leo. Maybe you can pay attention to Dad.”  
“Sorry, I’m just trying to figure out all the relationships here.”  
“Duncan is my brother, Logan is our best friend, Jax is my boyfriend, and Kozik is practically my step-dad.”  
“But…Keith is your step-dad.”  
“I said practically. Kozik dated Mom in Seattle. He protected me and took care of me the best he could.”

He keeps staring at me, so I say:  
“Why does every conversation we have, regardless of original topic, end up about me? And what’s with the constant staring? Do you have a crush, deputy?”

He blushes and says:  
“Of course not. I’m just intrigued.”

Jax whispers in my ear:  
“Don’t tease him. It’s not fair, babe, he can’t help it. You know the reaction you get out of men.”  
“Why are you okay with this, Mr. Normally-Exceptionally-Possessive?”  
“I just find it amusing because I know the kind of guys you like, and he is not it.”

Leo clears his throat and says:  
“With all due respect Mr. Teller, you don’t know anything about me.”

Jax laughs and his eyes sparkle. He has a predatory grin on his face as he says:  
“I’d be happy to prove you wrong Deputy, but right now is not the time.”

Logan has spent this whole conversation muffling his laughter against my thigh, so I pull his hair to make him stop.  
“What, Ronnie?”  
“You were tickling me. Enough.”

Dad says:  
“Leo, why don’t you and I take these tapes back to the station and get them logged into evidence? Veronica and Duncan will come down in the morning and give their statements about what they saw.”  
“Yeah, okay.”

Dad picks up the tapes and kisses the top of my head. Then he and Leo walk out of the house.

Jake sits down on the coffee table in front of me and says:  
“We’d like you to move in, Veronica.”  
“No.”  
His face falls and I clarify:  
“It’s not just me, I have Abel and Jax to think about too. We can’t live with Keith either. We’re going to get ourselves an apartment. We could have set days when we come over for dinner and stuff though. I’m not suggesting I don’t want a relationship with you, just we need our own space.”  
“That makes sense, I didn’t think about that. I will buy you an apartment.”  
“We’re just going to rent something, we’re only here for a year before we move to Charming.”  
“My daughter is not going to rent something. I will buy you something and then I will sell it after you move.”

Jax’s fingers tighten on my waist, and I say:  
“Okay. But nothing extravagant, okay?”  
“Okay. I’ll get a realtor to find something for you tomorrow. In the meantime, there’s some financial issues we should talk about.”

I move to get up, and he stops me with a hand on my arm.   
“You consider these men family, Veronica. We can talk in front of them.”  
“Okay.”  
“As my daughter, I will pay for your housing and transportation needs. I will also provide you with a monthly allowance, and there is already a trust fund set up in your name that you will have access to as of your 25th birthday. Lilly’s trust fund will be divided between you and Duncan as well. Your university will obviously be paid for in full for however long you decide to attend.”  
“…Okay.”  
“Basically what this means is that I will buy you a car and pay the insurance, I will buy you and Jax a place to live here in Neptune, and when you move to Charming I will buy you a house there. I will pay to furnish your houses, if you need help decorating, Celeste has a wonderful designer. Your monthly allowance will be $5000, same as Duncan’s. The trust fund is significant, and the lawyers will have to go over that with us, as I’m not sure how much is there right now.”  
“That’s…a lot. I don’t need all that Dad.”  
“You are a Kane and will live like a Kane. You will hire someone to help you and Jax around the house, Celeste can help you with that, she’s excellent with staff.”  
“Jax and I are planning on going back and forth between Neptune and Charming this summer, every two weeks basically.”  
“Well, the first time you go to Charming I will go with you and we will buy you a house. Unless you want Jax’s mother to assist you, in which case I will just provide you with the money.”

I look at Jax, and he says:  
“Mom would probably have opinions babe.”  
“Okay, So we bring Gemma.”  
Jake clears his throat and says:  
“Then I will just provide the money.”   
“Or you could come too? It’ll give you a chance to meet everyone, and I’d like your input as well as Gemma’s.”

Jake smiles and rubs my arm.  
“Of course sweetheart.”

Jake stands up and says:  
“Kozik, why don’t you and I go talk in the other room?”  
As they leave the room, Jax says in a low voice:  
“If he wants to throw money at you, let him. It’ll make hiding the money earned from illegal means that much easier.”  
“Good point.”

Logan sits up a bit and says:  
“Illegal means?”  
I look at Jax and he nods, so I say:  
“The Sons run guns for the IRA. You should know that before you decide to move to Charming with us.”  
“Okay.”  
“Just okay?”  
“I’ll probably have questions at some point, but right now doesn’t seem like the time.”

I lean over to him and kiss his cheek before leaning back to my spot and kissing Jax properly. I stand up and say:  
“I’m going to go check on Celeste and Abel.”

Duncan stands up too, and says:  
“I’ll come with you. No way she isn’t upset.”

When we walk into the kitchen we find Celeste sitting at the table, holding Abel as he eats cheerios, tears streaming down her face. I walk up to her and wrap my arms around her shoulders before kissing her on the cheek.  
“I’m so sorry Celeste. But he will pay for taking her away from you. I promise.”

Duncan comes over and wraps his arms around both of us. We all stay like that for a couple of minutes before Jake comes in and takes Abel from Celeste. Then Celeste pulls me into her lap and I curl into her like Lilly used to when we were younger. Duncan kneels down beside us and rests his head on my lap with his arms around Celeste’s waist and me. Celeste strokes my back and says:  
“My darling Veronica, I’m so sorry your mother didn’t protect you. I’m sorry I didn’t protect Lilly.”  
“What happened to Lilly wasn’t your fault. You always tried to protect her. She just didn’t listen. You and Lianne are not the same.”  
“Are you sure? Because both of our daughters had awful experiences and we didn’t save them.”  
“Everything Lilly did, she did by choice. You tried to protect her. Lianne saw what was happening to me against my will and she ignored it, and then she tried to blame me for it. You are not the same. You were always a wonderful mother, and Lianne was great when she was sober, but when she was drunk, which was most of the time, she was negligent at best and abusive at worst.”

Celeste just cries harder and pulls me closer to her chest.  
“Celeste, you did nothing to cause what happened to Lilly. Everyone who knew Lilly would tell you that. We all saw how much you loved her and how much you wanted to keep her safe.”  
“I want him dead.”

Jax and Logan walk into the kitchen at that moment and Jax walks over to Celeste and puts his hand on her shoulder before saying:  
“If that’s what you want, I can help with that.”  
“Thank you my dear.”

I look up at Jax and say:  
“You can’t kill him without club approval, Jax”  
“Not club business.”  
“Their V.P. potentially going to prison for murdering a fucking movie star is club business and Clay would have your head if you did it without a vote.”  
“They’d vote yes.”  
“I know. So let them. Besides, Happy and Tig are better at killing people.”  
“I shouldn’t be offended by that, but I am.”  
“Happy’s a bit of a sociopath and Tig really doesn’t like men who hurt little girls. He would make Aaron suffer. You are a good guy who occasionally has to hurt people. Play to your strengths babe.”

Jake walks back into the room with Abel and Kozik as Jax says:  
“Fine. Celeste, do you want me to take it to the club? If they vote yes, there’s no stopping it.”

Celeste looks at Jake and he nods, so she says:  
“Take it to the club.”  
“Okay. I’ll be right back. I need to make a call.”

I stand up and walk over to Logan and wrap my arms around his waist. He puts his head on my shoulder and starts crying.  
“You have us, Logan. We are your family. He has hurt you the majority of your life. I’m sorry.”  
“I know. He deserves to die. It’s just, he’s my last parent. I’ll be Little Orphan Annie.”

Kozik walks over and wraps his arms around us both.  
“It’ll be okay, kid. They’ll vote, it’ll get done at some point when you aren’t expecting it. You’ll mourn, both publicly and privately. We’ll all be there for both. And then everything will fall into a normal rhythm again.”  
“All?”  
“Oh yeah kid. You are important to our Princess. That means all of Charming SoA will be at the funeral, along with any other guys that are in the area, like Happy and me.”  
“Princess?”

I roll my eyes and say:  
“They call Jax the Prince because his Dad and his Step-Dad were both founding members. So I’m the Princess by association.”  
“Ah.”

Jake walks over to us and puts his hand on Logan’s shoulder.  
“You know we love you, son. Your father’s actions will not reflect on you. Not in this house.”

Jax walks back in the room and says:  
“Ronnie? The club going to vote tomorrow night. Clay says you need to be there to talk to the guys beforehand.”  
“An old lady gets to be in the room?”  
“For this vote? Yeah."

Kozik looks between me and Jax, confused, before saying:  
“That doesn’t happen. What is Clay playing at?”  
“I think he wants to make sure that Veronica knows just how involved she is in this. That if the club goes down, so do the Kanes.”

Kozik growls and says:  
“I need to call Clay.”  
“No, Kozik. It’s fine. I’ll be fine. The guys will vote yes. It’ll be done, and no-one is going down for it.”  
“He is trying to drag you into club business.”  
“Aaron isn’t club business! He’s family business! I’m dragging the club in, not the other way around. Clay just wants me to remember that. He’s not trying to hurt me, Kozik.”

Kozik speaks in a low voice when he says:  
“You can’t trust him completely baby girl. He has done things you don’t know about. Things Jax doesn’t know about. He would use you as a pawn if it gave him something he wanted.”  
“I don’t trust him, Kozik. I trust the club. I trust Jax, and the guys, and you.”  
“I love you like my own daughter, Veronica. If he hurts you I will kill him.”  
“I know.”

I let go of Logan’s waist and wrap my arms around Kozik.  
“I love you too. I’ll be okay. I promise.”

Celeste stands up and says:  
“Let’s have dinner.”

After dinner, Celeste says:  
“Veronica, dear…why don’t you and Jax leave Abel with us while you go to Charming tomorrow? That way you can take Jax’s bike instead of the truck. You can spend the night there and then come home Wednesday. Abel will be fine with us, and I’d like to spend more time with him.”

I look at Jax and he shrugs.  
“Sure. We can do that. Can you come by the apartment in the morning? We’ll give you his stuff and him.”  
“What time would you like to leave?”

Jax says:  
“Ideally we would be on the road by 8:00.”  
“Okay. I will be at the apartment by 7:00.”  
“Thanks Celeste.”  
“No, thank you guys. I appreciate getting to spend time with Abel.”

I hug everyone and say:  
“We should go. I need to go down to the station to give my statement about the tapes since I won’t be here tomorrow.”  
“Is there really any point in that?”  
“Yes. We must act like we are letting the sheriff handle this. If we don’t give our statements, Keith is going to know something is up.”  
“That makes sense.”

Kozik says:  
“Jax, why don’t you take Abel back to the apartment? I’ll take our girl to the station then bring her back.”  
“Yeah, okay.”

We walk outside and I kiss Jax and Abel before walking over to Kozik’s rental car. When we get to the station, we walk in together and find Leo sitting behind a desk.  
“Are you always working? Aren’t there any other deputies?”  
“I’m the only one with no life, so I take evening shifts a lot. How can I help you Miss Mars?”  
“I’ve been summoned to Charming by my mother-in-law. I leave tomorrow morning, just overnight, but I thought I should give my statement about the tapes tonight before I leave.”  
“I thought Jax was just your boyfriend. How is his mother your mother-in-law?”  
“I’m Jax’s old lady. We will be married once I’m older. Gemma is my mother-in-law for all intents and purposes. Also, you did it again.”  
“Sorry. I told you. I’m intrigued.”  
“No, Leo. You have a crush. It’s okay. Just own it. Do you want my statement or not?”  
“Yeah. Let’s go in the interview room. Kozik can wait out here.”  
“Actually, seeing as I am a minor, I have the ability to request a trusted adult to be in the room with me. So Kozik can come in.”  
“Is that because you feel like you need an adult or because you’re afraid to be alone with me?”

I look at him and blink before saying:  
“You’re right, Leo. You caught me. I’m just afraid I won’t be able to control myself if I’m alone in a room with you…Oh wait, no. That’s not it. You aren’t my type. Can we get this over with please?”

We walk into the interview room and Leo sets up the recorder. We go over the basics of who I am and who is in the room, and then Leo says:  
“Miss Mars, you watched all three tapes?”  
“Part of all three tapes.”  
“So the tape with the date of August 2, what was on that one?”  
“Lilly Kane, my sister, and I were lying on the bed in the Echolls poolhouse in our swim suits, talking.”  
“What were you talking about?”  
“Boys. Lilly was quite fond of them and liked to tell me about her experiences.”  
“Why did she do that?”  
“Because I was a virgin and she found my disgust amusing.”  
“In a part of the tape the two of you are laughing quite a lot. What caused that?”  
“We were talking about Sheriff Lamb, well, at that point Deputy Lamb actually.”  
“What about him?”  
“Dad…Keith…had just had a bbq for all the deputies, and Don had shown up wearing this ridiculous Hawaiian print shirt and then proceeded to act like the hottest man on earth. We found it amusing enough to still be laughing about it a few days later.”  
“And after the laughter? You cover your face with a pillow and Lilly looks like she’s saying something to you, but the microphone didn’t pick it up.”  
“She was taunting me about having a crush on him.’  
“And how long had you had a crush on him at that point?”  
“I don’t see how that’s relevant, but 3…4 years?”  
“So this wasn’t new…Her needling you about it?”  
“No, it was a frequent point of teasing. Never in front of the boys, but yeah, definitely a favourite thing to pick on.”  
“Why not in front of the boys? And I assume by boys you are referring to Duncan Kane and Logan Echolls.”  
“Yeah, those would be the boys. The other half of the fab four.”  
“So why didn’t she tease you about this in front of them?”  
“Because teasing Logan and I about each other was more entertaining to her.”  
“You had a crush on Logan?”  
“I was in love with Logan…Until he chose Lilly over me.”  
“And you started dating Duncan.”  
“Yeah. For the record, we didn’t know that Jake Kane was my father. And Duncan and I never really progressed past hand-holding. There was absolutely no passion there.”

He reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. Kozik clears his throat and Leo lets go and says:  
“What about the unlabelled tape?”  
“It shows Lilly in her pep squad outfit, which is what she was wearing the day she died. She is lying on the bed, and she notices the camera. We see her following the cable and then the tape ends.”  
“And the final tape? The one labelled October 1?”  
“It shows Lilly and Aaron Echolls having sex.”  
“Are you sure they are having sex on the tape? Can you see their naked bodies?”  
“No. They are covered with a sheet, thank god. But I am familiar with what sex looks like and sounds like, and they are definitely having sex on that tape.”  
“How are you so familiar with the appearance and sounds of sex? You are only 17. We’re to believe you are some sort of expert?”  
“I lost my virginity when I was 15 to Sheriff Lamb. Since then I have had sex with six other men, both willingly and unwillingly. I am familiar enough with what sex looks like and sounds like to determine that Lilly and Mr. Echolls were having sex on the tape.”

Leo turns off the recorder and says:  
“I have to ask, how many of those guys were age appropriate?”  
“Two.”  
“Eli Navarro and?”  
“None of your business.”  
“Veronica…”  
“No Leo. The names of the men I have had sex with are none of your business. Now are we done?”  
“Yeah.”

We stand up and Kozik and I leave. When we get outside he says:  
“Why not just tell him kiddo?”  
“Because if I tell him, he will look them up, then he will find out that three of the seven men I have had sex with are dead. He’ll figure it out.”  
“Right…Gotta protect the club.”  
“Yeah. The club took care of the people who hurt me, so I protect the club. This is how it works Kozik. You know that.”  
“That Deputy…it’s more than a crush. He cares about you.”  
“He doesn’t know me.”  
“And yet…”  
“It doesn’t matter what he feels. I’m with Jax.”  
“Oh, I know. But he needs to be warned about falling in love with the future Queen.”  
“Tig’s in love with our current Queen. He’s not dead yet.”  
“Tig’s a brother. Leo’s a cop. He oversteps and he’s a dead cop. If he had held your hand like he did in front of Jax, he’d be hurting right now.”  
“Unser’s in love with Gemma too.”  
“Unser and Gemma grew up together. And he may be a cop, but he has proved repeatedly that he’s a friend to the club. Leo hasn’t.”  
“I know. I’ll talk to him when I get back from Charming.”

He shakes his head at me.  
“Go talk to him now, kiddo. I’ll wait.”  
“You’re very bossy, you know that?”  
“Yup. Go.”

I walk back into the station and approach Leo’s desk.  
“Veronica…You’re back.”  
“Yeah, we need to have a conversation Leo. In private.”

He stands up and walks over to the door and closes and locks it.  
“It’s just us. What do you need to talk about?”  
“Keeping you alive.”  
He walks over and sits on the edge of his desk.  
“What do you mean Veronica?”  
“You are a cop, Leo. I am the old lady of the V.P. of a MC. You cannot touch me, you cannot flirt with me. You cannot be affectionate with me. You cannot show that you are attracted to me or care about me in anyway. If you had held my hand like you did earlier in front of Jax you would have gotten a beating. Kozik let you off easy just clearing his throat because I am his daughter first and the future Queen second.”  
“Jax was smiling earlier when we were talking about me having a crush on you.”  
“That wasn’t his happy smile, that was his ‘I’m going to bury you in a shallow grave’ smile. You cannot underestimate him like this. If he thinks your crush has progressed to anything more he will kill you.”  
“Maybe you shouldn’t be with him if you are afraid of him killing people for showing an interest in you.”

I roll my eyes at him.  
“Are you purposefully obtuse or are you just legitimately this stupid?”  
“I’m not afraid of him.”  
I yell at him:  
“You should be! I am trying to keep you alive you idiot!”  
He smiles at me, and I say:  
“Why are you smiling?”  
“Because you care about me.”  
“Maybe I just don’t want a dead cop on my conscience.”  
“No, that’s not it, because you let Jax and Opie kill Lamb. But you’re here warning me, trying to protect me.”  
“Lamb raped me. You haven’t done anything wrong.”  
“Sacks held your hand earlier.”  
“I’ve known Sacks my whole life. He’s not a threat to Jax.”  
“So I’m a threat?”  
“Yes. Cops that fall in love with Queens but aren’t loyal to the club are threats. There’s a risk that they’ll put away club members to get the Queen to themselves.”  
“So how do I make it so I’m not a threat?”  
“Walk away. If someone needs to talk to me, send another deputy. Zero interaction. It would be even better if you got a girlfriend.”  
“How do I make it so I’m not a threat without never seeing you again?”  
“Not the smart decision, Leo.”

He stands up and steps towards me, wrapping his arm around my waist. He strokes my cheek with his other hand.  
“I know it’s not the smart decision, and I know you aren’t going to choose me. I can tell how much you love Jax. But I don’t want to be out of your life. So tell me how I can be near you without being a threat.”  
“You need to prove that you are a friend to the club. Repeatedly. That will involve you looking the other way when laws are broken and possibly breaking laws yourself. The Chief of police in Charming is a friend of the club, he’s also in love with Gemma, the current Queen. His love for her is tolerated because of the help he gives the club. He’s allowed to be alone with her, he’s allowed to touch her. He gets invited to family and club events.”  
“What if I quit being a cop and patch in?”  
“They’d never patch you in…Too high of a risk of you being a plant. You try that method and I guarantee that you end up in a shallow grave. The only way it might work is if you go to prison for helping the club. They may accept a patch in when you get out in that case.”  
“What if I quit being a cop and become a P.I.? I could work for the club.”  
“You’d still have to prove yourself before they’d let you near anyone other than a couple of brothers.”  
“Guess I’m becoming a dirty cop. Neptune isn’t the place for that though, since Jax promised no club business here.”  
“Leo…”  
“Don’t use that tone on me. If you can become the fucking Queen of SAMCRO, I can become a dirty cop in order to stay near you and protect you.”  
“I don’t need protection from the club, and old ladies aren’t involved in club business, so unless I actually break the law myself, I’m in no danger.”

He looks at me like he’s considering kissing me, and my phone rings. I answer it:  
“Hey honey.”  
“Babe, what’s taking so long?”  
“I’m done my statement. I just needed to have a chat with Leo about appropriate levels of contact for normal people versus friends of the club.”  
“Does he want to be a friend of the club?”  
“Yes.”  
“Does he understand what that means for his career?”  
“Yes.”  
“He’s that desperate to be near you? To be allowed to touch you?”  
“Yes.”  
“Good. Unlock the door and let me and Kozik in.”  
“Yeah, okay.”

I hang up the phone and lean in and kiss Leo gently on the lips before stepping out of his arms. I start walking to the door and say:  
“Trial by fire, sweetheart.”  
I unlock and open the door and say:  
“I assume Abel is with Dad?”  
“Nope, left him in the truck. Yes, he’s home with Dad. Do you want to be here for this?”  
“Yes.”  
“Are you sure? Old ladies aren’t usually privy, for a reason. I’m going to say things to test him that you are not going to like.”  
“I’m not leaving you alone with him, so I guess I’m staying.”  
“I won’t hurt him babe.”  
“Uh huh. You’re still pissed he dared to look at me earlier. Just talk about what you need to talk about.”

I sit down in Leo’s desk chair and Kozik drags a couple of chairs over for him and Leo to sit in. Jax sits on the edge of the desk, with the guys in front of him. As I’m watching he transforms from the gentle, if slightly possessive man I love to the dangerous, somewhat scary SAMCRO V.P.. Jax looks at Leo and says:  
“Did Veronica explain what being a friend of the club entails?”  
“Yeah. It means I have to overlook you guys breaking the law and probably break a few laws myself.”  
“Did she explain what it means in terms of the old ladies? Who is your loyalty to? The club, and by extension me, or Veronica?”  
“The club…So you.”  
“So if you found out I was fucking some crow eater behind Veronica’s back…Is this information you keep to yourself or do you share it with Veronica?”

Leo makes eye contact with me and says:  
“Keep it to myself.”  
“Is it something you confront me about?”  
“No.”  
“If I hit Veronica, is that your business?”  
“No.”  
“You look upset at the idea of me cheating on Veronica or hitting her. These are not things I would do. But I need to make sure that your loyalty is to the club and not a piece of ass. Even one as fine as Veronica. Because old ladies can be replaced, but friends of the club are difficult to cultivate.”

Both Leo and Kozik visibly bristle at that description of me. I clench my fists under the desk and attempt to maintain composure on my face. Jax continues:  
“I know you want to be a friend of the club so you can be near Veronica without me killing you. But you need to understand that while you will be welcomed into our house as a friend, and allowed to be alone with Veronica and even touch and hug her, as far as my old lady is concerned, you are a fucking eunuch. You will never get to have her. You will never get to touch her naked body or fuck her tight, wet pussy. So if that’s what you’re hoping for, I suggest you tell me now. I’ll let you fuck her and then I’ll dismember you.”

Kozik is vibrating with anger now, and Leo looks at me with tears in his eyes.  
“I just want to protect her and be near her. If that requires me to be fucking celibate or literally a goddamn eunuch, then that’s what it takes.”  
“Good. That’s what I wanted to hear.”

Jax stands up, walks around the desk and kisses the top of my head.  
“I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean any of what I just said. It was a test. I needed to be awful to him to make sure he was on board.”

I nod and say:  
“I know. I just need a minute.”  
I get up and walk into Dad’s office, closing and locking the door behind me. I sink into the armchair in the corner and start to cry. A minute or two later I hear the door being unlocked and Kozik saying:  
“It’s just me, kiddo. I’m coming in.”

When he opens the door, I can see Jax sitting on a desk on the other side of the room, tears streaming down his face. Leo is talking to him in low tones, I can’t hear them, but I assume he’s trying to reassure Jax that I’m fine. Kozik walks in and closes the door behind him.  
“Oh, my sweet girl.”  
He picks me up out of the chair and sits down before settling me in his lap. He wraps his arms around me and presses his lips to my hair.   
“I know it was an act, but he’s never sounded that cruel when talking about me.”  
“He needed to make sure Leo was actually on board baby.”  
“I know that. But that’s how Lee used to talk about me…about Mom. Jax has never used that tone about me before.”  
“It broke his heart to do it. You saw him out there. He’s crying baby girl.”  
“Yeah. I want to go home. Will you take me home please?”  
“After you talk to Jax.”  
“I’ll talk to him at home. Please Kozik. I just need some time.”  
“No. You need to talk to him first.”  
“Just give me the keys then. I’ll take myself home.”  
“No.”  
“Fine. I’ll talk to him after I clean myself up. I am still allowed to use the restroom, right?”

He sighs and says:  
“Yes, Veronica.”  
“Thank you.”

I stand up and walk over to the door, taking a deep breath before opening it and walking into the main office. I don’t respond when Jax and Leo both say my name, and just walk across the room to the hallway where the bathrooms are. I walk into the ladies room and lock the door behind me. I tighten the laces on my shoes and drag the garbage can so it’s under the window. I climb up and out the window and start running in the direction of home. 

I realize that I don’t have my bag and therefore I don’t have my phone, but I figure I should be fine as long as I keep moving. It’s not far to the apartment, only about 3 miles; I could run that in my sleep. What I don’t account for is the fact that I’ll be running straight through PCHer territory. Once I figure it out, I detour down to the beach. It’s more difficult to run on sand, and this is less of a straight line, but it should keep Thumper and his henchmen from finding me alone and undefended. When I’m about a mile from the station I assume that the guys have figured out that I climbed out the window, so I can expect one of them to come across me at anytime. Once I’m past PCHer territory, I get off the beach to run along the road again, gaining significant speed. 

A car passes me at low speed and then pulls over in front of me. It’s Kozik, and he’s pissed.  
“Have you lost your damn mind?”  
“I’m just going home Kozik.”  
“I told you to talk to Jax, and instead you fucking climb out a goddamn window?!”  
“I don’t want to talk to Jax right now. I don’t want to fucking look at Jax right now. He hurt me. Why don’t you understand that?”  
“I do understand sweetheart. But I also understand that it hurt him to do it. You need to talk to him because Jax does stupid things when he’s hurt.”  
“So because he might do something stupid I have to put aside my feelings to make the prince feel better? Fuck that shit. If that’s what is required of an old lady, to not have feelings of my own or to push them aside for his wellbeing, I’m not fucking interested.”  
“You don’t mean that.”  
“I have been through so much horrible shit in the past two years. Listening to someone I love, someone I trust, say those things about me shattered my heart. I can’t just put that aside because he’s upset.”  
“I just don’t want something you both regret to happen because he was upset.”  
“Maybe he should learn to control his fucking actions. I’m upset and I’m going for a goddamn run, not fucking some random person or beating the shit out of someone.”  
“You and Jax were not raised the same way my love.”  
“Well, I don’t give a shit what he does. I’m going home now.”  
“I’ll drive you.”  
“I want to run.”  
“I’ll follow you then.”  
“Fuck off. I’m perfectly capable of being on my own.”  
“Don’t attack me because you’re upset. I love you.”  
“And I love you. But I don’t need you right now. Just leave me alone. Please.”  
“Fine. At least take your damn phone.”  
“That I’ll accept.”  
“You call me if you change your mind.”  
“Yeah.”

He hands me my phone, gets back in the car, and drives off. I look at my phone: 20 text messages, 16 missed calls. There’s a couple from Leo, but the overwhelming majority are from Jax. I respond to the most recent message from Leo, saying: ‘I’m fine. I’m running home. Just saw Kozik.’ I get a response immediately saying: ‘Where are you? I’ll come get you.’ I respond back saying: ‘I want to be alone.’ I look at the messages from Jax. Each one is more desperate than the previous one. I respond to the last one: ‘I’m fine. I’m on my way home. I love you, I’m just hurt. Don’t do anything stupid.’ I get a response saying: ‘I’m so sorry Veronica. I never meant to hurt you like I did. I love you so much. Please let me come get you.’ I respond back saying: ‘I just want to be alone for a while longer. I’m running home. About halfway there now. I’ll be there soon.’

As I put my phone away it rings. It’s Jax. I take a deep breath and answer it.  
“I can’t run if I’m on the phone.”  
“I just needed to hear your voice.”  
“Well, if you let me hang up and get home you can hear my voice and see my face.”  
“You could just let me pick you up.”  
“No Jax. I just need to be alone right now. Where are you?”  
“Sitting in the truck outside the apartment. Kozik’s already inside, but I don’t want to go in without you.”  
“Go inside. Snuggle with Abel. I will be there soon. I love you.”

Before I can hang up, there are arms around me and a voice in my ear saying:  
“What a pleasant surprise…Veronica Mars, alone and in my neighbourhood.”  
“Liam Fitzpatrick. Let me go.”  
“No, I don’t think I will. I think I want to see if little sister tastes as good as big sister.”  
“You don’t want to do this Liam. You don’t understand who I am, who I’m important to.”  
“You’re dating the ex-head of the PCHers. He can’t do shit.”  
“We broke up Liam. I’m back with my ex. You don’t want to piss him off.”  
“I really don’t care who you’re dating. In a minute it’s going to be my cock inside of you.”

I use his body weight to flip him over my shoulder. He hits the ground with a thud and I move out of grabbing distance. I can hear a siren, and I know it’s Leo, so I just need to stay out of Liam’s hands until he gets here. Liam gets up and steps towards me as I hear a motorcycle approaching quickly. Liam grins and says:  
“Well, you’re fucked now.”  
“Listen closer, Liam. That’s only one motorcycle. A Harley to be exact. That ain’t your bitches coming to help you. That’s my calvary. My boyfriend is the V.P. of the Sons of Anarchy in Charming. You’re fucked.”  
“Your boyfriend is Jax Teller?”  
“I did try to tell you that you didn’t want to touch me.”

Jax pulls up and Liam steps backwards quickly.  
“I didn’t know, man. I wouldn’t have touched her if I knew she was yours.”

Jax stalks towards him, all coiled danger, like a large cat stalking its prey.  
“She tried to tell you. You chose not to listen.”  
“Well, she’s a fine piece of ass. You can’t blame me for wanting to sample that.”

Jax gets closer to Liam, stepping in front of me. He says in a low, scary voice:  
“That is not an acceptable way to speak about the mother of my child. Veronica is not a piece of ass. She is my old lady. My future Queen. You are a small town meth-head leader of an inbred family group of sociopaths. You are not worthy of breathing the same air as her, let alone touching her.”

Leo pulls up as this is happening, having turned off his siren and lights before arriving. He gets out of his car and gently rubs my back as he passes me to get to Liam. He cuffs Liam behind his back and then puts a blindfold and muzzle on him. He then walks Liam to the patrol car and puts him in. He closes the door before saying:  
“Where do you want him?”  
“The desert. We’ll follow you.”

Jax hands me his helmet and gets on the bike. He growls at me and says:  
“Get on Veronica.”  
“I just have to do one thing first.”  
“What?”

I lean into him and kiss him deeply.  
“I love you, so much Jax.”  
He visibly relaxes and says:  
“I love you too. Now get on the goddamn bike.”

I get on the bike and we wait for Leo to drive off before following him. Instead of just holding Jax’s waist like I usually do, I shift closer to him, moving my hands so they are on his chest, and resting my face on his back. He takes his hand off one side of the handlebars for a second and briefly squeezes my hand. 

We follow Leo out to the desert, somewhere along a side street that doesn’t actually resemble a street, more like a hardened patch of dirt. We’re about an hour outside the city when we finally stop. Leo gets Liam out of the car and walks him further into the desert. Jax opens the trunk of the patrol car and grabs a gas can and then says:  
“Stay here, Veronica.”

I stay next to the bike and wait. I don’t hear or see anything until I see a fire in the distance. The guys don’t come back until the fire has died out. When they walk back, Jax is using a handkerchief to clean his knife, and Leo is using the blind fold to clean his handcuffs. I walk towards them and make eye contact with Jax. He nods and I approach Leo and kiss him before saying:  
“Thank you.”  
“No problem.” “Don’t lie. It was a problem, but you did it anyways. Thank you.”

He puts his hand on my neck and rubs my cheekbone with his thumb.  
“I would do anything for you.”  
“For the club, Leo. For the club.”  
“Right. For the club.”  
He leans in and gently kisses me.  
“Goodnight Veronica.”  
He lets go of me and says louder:  
“Goodnight Jax.”  
“Goodnight Leo. Thank you.”

We watch as Leo leaves, then Jax comes over and wraps his arms around me.  
“I am so sorry baby.”  
“I’m sorry. If I hadn’t taken off, this wouldn’t have had to happen. It was short sighted and irresponsible.”  
“Let’s go home babe.”

We get on the bike and head back into town. When we get to the apartment, Dad is already in bed, but Kozik wakes up when we walk in.  
“What happened?”  
“We had an issue. Had to take care of it. On the plus side, we know for sure that Leo is on board.”  
“You two need to get some sleep. Celeste said she’d be here by 7:00 to pick up Abel and it’s midnight now.”  
“Yeah. Goodnight.”

Jax walks into the bedroom, and I walk over to Kozik and kiss him on the cheek.  
“I’m sorry about earlier.”  
“It’s okay sweet girl. Goodnight.”  
“Goodnight.”

I follow Jax into the bedroom and close the door. He’s checking on Abel when I walk in, so I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around him. He turns around in my arms and grabs my face before kissing me. I grab the bottom of his shirt and pull it off of him. I kiss him again as I undo his belt and pants. He pulls my shirt over my head and undoes my shorts as he says:  
“You sure you don’t just want to sleep babe?”  
“I’m sure. Love me.”

I kick my shoes off and he does the same, stepping out of our pants at the same time. He undoes my bra and pulls it off of my body then I reach over to turn the light off. I take my panties off and he takes his boxers off before he pushes me backwards onto the bed. He climbs on top of me and I kiss him as he runs his hands down my body to change the position of my hips so he can slide into me. I gasp against his mouth when he hits just the right angle.  
“You gotta be quiet baby.”  
I nod and murmur:  
“More, please Jax, more.”

He speeds up his thrusts and kisses me as he rubs my clit. I whimper as I orgasm, and he follows me over the edge, murmuring my name against my neck. He rolls off of me and pulls me tight against his chest.  
“I love you so much, Veronica. I don’t ever want to hurt you like I did tonight. I needed to see how much he loves you.”  
“That was the test? You wanted him to show that he loves me? I thought you were hoping for the opposite.”  
“Nope. Him loving you makes him putty in your hands. Like tonight. Normally I wouldn’t start a friend off with a murder, but it worked with Leo because you were in danger and he loves you.”  
“What makes you think he loves me? Maybe he was just offended by the way you were talking about me.”  
“He reacted exactly the same way Kozik did. Every time. That’s why I had Kozik there. I couldn’t just base my assessments of Leo’s reaction off of which statements made me physically ill to say. I needed an external verification from someone who I know loves you more than anything.”  
“Did you warn Kozik ahead of time?”  
“I told him I was going to say some things that were going to upset him and asked him not to kill me.”

My phone starts ringing in my purse and I lunge for it before it wakes Abel up.  
“Leo?”  
“Veronica, what did I agree to? I shouldn’t be helping the club. I should be taking you and Abel and running somewhere Jax can’t find us.”  
“Leo, love. I guarantee you that if you took Abel and I, there is nowhere you could run that Jax wouldn’t find you. Just breathe. Everything is fine.”  
“I need to see you.”  
“Can it wait until Wednesday?”  
“No. I need to see you now.”  
“Fine. Where are you?”  
“The deck overlooking the ocean at your apartment complex.”  
“Okay. I’ll be right out.”

I hang up and kiss Jax.  
“I have to go deal with this. You get some sleep. I’ll be back soon.”  
“I don’t want to sleep without you.”  
“But you have to drive tomorrow and I don’t want to die in a crash because you didn’t get enough sleep. So sleep babe.”

I get out of bed and pull pyjamas out of my drawer and quickly get dressed before putting a pair of flip flops and Jax's hoodie on. I put my phone in the hoodie pocket and lean over and kiss Jax again before leaving the room and closing the door behind me. I sneak past Kozik and out of the apartment before heading down to the deck.

I sit down in the chair next to Leo and reach over to hold his hand.  
“Talk to me Leo. Why are you freaking out?”  
“I agreed to be a dirty cop and then I helped Jax kill a man.”  
“That man was Liam Fitzpatrick and he was going to rape me.”  
Leo looks at me.  
“He was?”  
“Yeah, his exact words were that he wanted to see if little sister tastes the same as big sister, and that he didn’t care who I was dating because his cock was about to be inside of me.”  
“So, not a great guy.”  
“No. Definitely not a pillar of society.”  
“Will this get easier?”  
“I don’t know baby. I’ve never done this before. I keep hoping the old lady thing will get easier too. Maybe things will be better once we’re in Charming.”  
“I understand how you are getting to Charming, but Jax never explained how I am.”  
“You are going to apply for the Deputy Chief position with amazing references from Sheriff Keith Mars, Jake Kane, and Jax Teller. Unser will hire you instead of the guy he was going to promote.”  
“When?”  
“We are going to talk to Unser when we’re in Charming tomorrow, and get your references together on Wednesday when we get back.”  
“So I’ll be in Charming for a year while you’re here?”  
“Yes. You’ll be showing the rest of the club that you can be trusted.”  
“But no-one will be here to help you.”  
“Keith will be. And Sacks will help me if I need it.”  
“I don’t want to be away from you for a year.”  
“It’s required. But after that, we’ll be in the same city again and everything will be fine.”

He gets out of his chair and kneels on the ground in front of me, resting his hands on my thighs.  
“He said horrible things about you tonight.”  
“He needed to know how much you love me.”  
“And instead of just asking, he tested me to see how I’d react to him referring to you like that?”  
“Yeah. I know. It’s a flawed system.”  
“No-one who loves you could say those things about you.”  
“He says it made him physically ill to say them. And I saw him crying afterwards. I think you need to cut Jax some slack.”

My phone dings in my pocket and I pull it out to see a message from Jax: ‘We need him to stay on board. Do whatever you need to. I’m going to sleep now. I love you.’ I put my phone back in my pocket and unzip my hoodie before pulling my arms out and letting it fall to the chair behind me.   
“How do you know he loves you? Especially when he acts like that.”  
“He takes care of me, and my son. I can feel it when he looks at me, when he touches me.”  
“When he fucks you?”  
“Yeah, especially then. The Jax you saw tonight, that’s SoA Jax, not my Jax. My Jax is sweet, funny, loving, protective, and slightly possessive. SoA Jax is dangerous, cold, calculating, and kind of scary.”  
“Well, I’d like to spend some time with your Jax, because I’m not real fond of SoA Jax.”  
“You and me both, baby.”

He raises up on his knees and says:  
“What did the message say?”  
“That we need you to stay on board and I should do whatever I need to to make sure that happens.”  
“So a message from SoA Jax then.”  
“I guarantee it hurt Jax to send that message, but at this point, we really need you to stay on board. So he’s willing to let you touch me.”  
“But are you willing to let me touch you? I mean, without him ordering you to?”  
“It wasn’t an order. I could do nothing if I wanted to do nothing.”  
“It sounded like an order.”  
“So what? You want to fuck me Leo. I know you do, so why does it matter if it was an order or not?”  
“I do want to fuck you. But when I do, I want it to be your choice, not his. I’m on board and I will stay on board, because that’s how I can stay close to you, but if he treats you like that in front of me again I will shoot him in the goddamn head. Also, you are going to be the goddamn Queen. The Queen does not take orders from anyone.”

I reach out and put my hands on his face.  
“You will not shoot him, and you will never say that again. Not out loud or in text. To anyone. Even me. You understand what I am saying? You want to be a friend of the club, that means you must protect the club’s interests over your own feelings. So that means if Jax or any of the other guys says something offensive about me, you let it go. If Jax and I are in danger and you have to choose who to protect, unless he orders you to protect me, you protect him. The club comes first.”  
“I understand.”

I lean in and kiss him. A proper kiss this time, not the chaste ones I can get away with in front of Jax. By the time we pull apart we’re both breathing heavily. He says:  
“I love you. I will do whatever I have to, to stay near you. Even if that means ignoring your boyfriend saying horrific things about you.”  
“I know it’s difficult. It upset me too. But there really was a purpose. It wasn’t meant to hurt me.”

He leans in and kisses me again before standing up and saying:  
“You’re leaving in the morning, right? You should get some sleep.”  
“You’re right.”  
I stand up and pick up the hoodie and put it back on before taking his hand and walking back up to the parking lot. When we get to his car he says:  
“Drive safely tomorrow. Message me when you get to Charming?”  
“Okay.”

He kisses me on the forehead, then gets in his car. I walk over to the apartment and go inside, locking the door behind me. I sneak past Kozik, well, I try, because he wakes up and says:  
“Having an issue with Leo?”  
“He just needed to be reminded that he’s a good guy who agreed to do this so he can protect me.”  
“You didn’t…”  
“No, despite having an order from the Prince to do whatever I needed to, I managed to keep him on board without fucking him. It’s nice that everyone I love thinks so fucking highly of me. Goodnight.”

I walk into my bedroom and quietly close the door. I take off the hoodie, silencing my phone before putting it on the end table, and take off my shoes then walk into the bathroom. I lock the door behind me and brush my teeth, then take off my pyjamas to shower. Once I’m in the shower I take my French braids out and wash my hair. Then I scrub my skin until it’s raw because I have this feeling of being used and dirty that I can’t seem to shake. I cry until the water turns icy, then I get out and dry off before putting my pyjamas back on.

I walk back out to the bedroom and set the alarm for 5:30 before gently taking a pillow and blanket off the bed and laying them down in the corner of my room. I lay down on the floor and go to sleep. It feels like I’ve just gone to sleep when I see Lilly standing next to Abel’s crib, staring at him.  
“He really is beautiful little sister.”  
“You know who he’s going to look like?”  
“He’ll be Don’s clone. But with Jax’s personality.”  
“Which one? My Jax or SoA Jax?”  
“This one will be SoA through and through. With Don’s genes he can’t help but be an asshole. All you can do is teach him to treat women with respect.”  
“This one? Meaning I’ll have more?”  
“Another boy. You’re going to name him Thomas Keith. He’ll be all Jax. Looks and personality. Your Jax, not SoA Jax.”

She turns and looks at me before she’s suddenly sitting next to me.  
“Speaking of Jax…Even when he seems cold and calculating he loves you so much he can’t breathe. Go easy on him.”  
“Why Aaron Echolls, Lil? He’s awful.”  
“But sexy.”  
“Ew…But Lilly…Did he kill you?”  
“You know I can’t answer that baby sis. I think you’re doing the right thing though. I have to go now. I love you so much.”

She disappears and I wake up in my dark room, crying and alone on the floor. I hear Jax stir in the bed and I put my hand over my mouth so he doesn’t hear me. I regulate my breathing and go back to sleep.


	5. Day Five

When the alarm goes off in the morning I get up and dressed in jeans and a t-shirt with biker boots before quickly packing extra clothes, pyjamas, and toiletries for me in a backpack, and starting to pack Abel’s things. A couple of changes of clothes and pyjamas in the diaper bag, along with a bunch of diapers, extra bottles, formula, and spoons. I grab his playpen from the corner and his booster seat in case they want him to have his own seat at the table. I carry everything out to the living room and start making breakfast. Thankfully, there’s still groceries from Gemma’s shopping trip, so I make scrambled eggs, bacon, hash browns, and applesauce. 

I go back into the bedroom to get Abel ready and get him dressed before grabbing my phone and leaving the room again. I take him out to the living room and put some food on a plate for he and I to share. He eats all the eggs and applesauce, leaving me the bacon and hash browns. I wipe his face and hand him to Kozik saying:  
“I’m going to go grab his carseat from the truck. There’s food in the kitchen if you want some.”

I grab Jax’s keys from the counter and head outside. When I come back into the apartment and put the carseat down, Kozik says:  
“Jax wants to talk to you.”  
I sigh and walk into the bedroom.  
“What?”  
“You slept on the floor last night?”  
“Yeah. I did.”  
“Why?”  
“We need him to stay on board. Do whatever you need to. I’m going to sleep now. I love you.”  
“Yeah, that’s the message I sent you…”  
“I don’t appreciate being ordered to fuck someone to get them to stay on board.”  
“Oh, baby. I didn’t mean…”  
“Yeah, you did. If that’s what it would have taken, you expected me to do it.”  
“Is that what it took?”  
“No. It’s not. I just had to tell him what Liam said to me. What he was going to do to me. I already had him back on board before you sent that message and sent him into another fucking spiral.”  
“Why would the message…”  
“Because you are supposed to love me! Me, a 17 year old girl who has been repeatedly raped by men in her life, including one she fucking trusted! The man who supposedly loves me should not be ordering me to keep someone on board with the club no matter what it takes.”

I’m crying now, and Jax walks towards me like he wants to hug me, and I step back.  
“Veronica…”  
“No. I don’t want to be touched right now. That’s why I slept on the floor last night.”  
“God…I just keep fucking up. I’m so sorry Ronnie.”  
“Can we take the truck to Charming?”  
“Because being on the bike would put you too close to me?”  
“No. Because I slept like shit last night being away from you and I’m afraid I’ll fall asleep on the way.”

Jax laughs and says:  
“Yeah babe. We can take the truck. Can I hold you now, please?”

He opens his arms and I walk into them.  
“I’m still mad at you.”  
“I know. But I love you so much it hurts to breathe sometimes. I know I fuck up, but I don’t mean to. I will try harder to be your Jax and not SoA Jax unless necessary.”   
“That’s what Lilly said last night…That even when you’re being cold and calculating you love me so much it hurts to breathe and that I should go easy on you.”  
“Your sister is wise.”  
“My sister was an idiot and it got her killed.”  
“What else did she say last night?”  
“That Abel is going to look like a clone of Don, but have SoA Jax’s personality, that because of Don’s genes he’s going to be an asshole and we’re going to have to teach him to treat women with respect. But that our next son, Thomas, is going to be your clone, looks and personality…My Jax, not SoA Jax.”  
“She predicts the future now?”  
“She always has. I don’t think they’re dreams. I think she’s actually visiting us.”  
“Us?”  
“I’m not the only one who sees her. Logan, Duncan, and Eli all do too. And these aren’t memories. It’s like she’s in the room and we’re having a brand new conversation.”  
“So you think she’s haunting you?”  
“Maybe? It’s more like she’s checking in to keep us on the right path, so we don’t fuck up our lives. Although sometimes she gives shitty advice. The last time I saw her before the other day, she told me to fight back against Lee. To not make it easy for him. When I tried he punched me in the face until I was unconscious…So sometimes her advice sucks.”  
“Was that when he broke your cheekbone?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Oh, my baby.”

There’s a knock on the front door, and I say:  
“Celeste is here.”  
“I should put a shirt on.”  
“Eh. She was pretty impressed by you yesterday. I believe her exact words were he’s a good looking sod, isn’t he?”

Jax laughs and follows me out of the bedroom. We find Celeste in the living room, sitting on the couch, holding Abel and chatting with Keith and Kozik. I mumble to myself:  
“This strange moment brought to you by Hallmark.”

Celeste looks up at me and smiles, a twinkle in her eye to show me that she heard my little quip. She reaches into her purse on the coffee table and pulls out her keys.  
“Jax dear, can you put Abel’s things in my car?”  
“Of course.”  
She turns and looks at me and says:  
“So as evidenced by dinner last night, Abel can eat soft or pureed real food now. Does he still have formula?”  
“He eats real food at meals with people, and bottles of formula in between as needed. He’s averaging three real meals, three bottles, and one snack of cheerios or something similar a day right now. This morning he ate eggs and applesauce when I had breakfast. Kozik, did he eat with you too?”  
“Yeah. All my hash browns. The little butthead.”

I laugh.  
“So he should be good for a while then.”  
“So he has a big appetite.”  
“I’m not surprised. Don was a big guy, so I would suspect Abel is going to be too. He’s got a lot of growing to do.”  
“Duncan and your Dad are larger too, taller at least.”  
“Yeah, so between the Lamb genes and the Kane genes, we’ve got a potentially big dude on our hands.”  
“Thank you for this Veronica.”  
“For what?”  
“For putting the past ten years behind us. I treated you poorly, and my pain was not your fault. You are a wonderful young woman, and I’m grateful that I got to watch you grow up. Keith has done a marvellous job with you.”

I’m crying now, and Keith has tears in his eyes. I put my hand on his face and kiss the top of his head:  
“Don’t cry, Daddy.”

Then I walk over to where Celeste is and kiss her on the cheek before sitting next to her.  
“I never blamed you. I always figured there was just something wrong with me. I was too snarky, too rambunctious…But once I found out about Dad…it all made sense, and I understood that all those years suspecting that I was your husband’s child hurt you. Seeing me hurt you. But you still let me spend time with your children, you let me become close with them. Even though you sometimes couldn’t control your desire for me to be gone, you still let me be there in the first place. So thank you. Thank you for putting aside your pain and allowing me to form bonds with my siblings from a young age.”

By the time Jax comes back in Celeste and I are snuggled together on the couch with Abel, both crying; Keith is crying, and Kozik is holding Keith’s hand in an act of Step-Dad support.

“What the hell did I miss? I was only gone five minutes.”  
“We had a moment, dear. Go get dressed.”  
“Yes Celeste.”

Celeste leans over and kisses my forehead before standing up.  
“Abel and I should get going so you and Jax can get on the road. Abel’s uncles are impatiently waiting for us to get back to the house so they can play with him.”  
“Of course they are, because they’re big kids themselves. Don’t they have school today?”  
“I’ve been informed that it’s just a study day. On that topic, how do you not have school right now?”  
“I was planning on taking a long summer to work and earn money for university, so I arranged with my teachers and principal to finish the school year early. I did the first semester with my classmates, then did an accelerated track for the second semester. I finished in April.”  
“What’s your GPA right now?”  
“3.984 I think?”  
“With everything that happened in Seattle you still managed to maintain a high GPA like that?”  
“School was my escape. I spent long hours at the library hiding from Mom and Lee. It worked…most of the time.”  
“So you’ll have no problems getting into any school you want.”  
“That’s the hope. I want Stanford.”  
“Good girl.”

I take Abel from Celeste and give him a hug and kiss.  
“Be good for Grandma and Grandpa, baby. Mommy loves you.”

Jax walks back in the room and takes Abel from me. He kisses the top of his head and says:  
“I love you little man. Mommy and I will be home tomorrow.”

Celeste takes Abel back, kisses me on the cheek, and leaves the apartment. Jax turns to me and says:  
“We should get going babe.”  
“Okay. I’ll go grab my bag.”

I walk into the bedroom, grab my bag and my Josh Groban CD, and head back out to the living room.  
“Josh Groban, huh?”  
“It’s been a long few days. Once I fall asleep you can change it.”

When we get out to the truck, Jax backs me up against the passenger door, his hands on the truck on either side of me.  
“I’m not the reason for your mind-clearing, mood-amplifying music, am I?”  
“I’m not going to lie to you, Jax. You’re definitely part of it. But so is Eli, and Leo, and the constant repeating of everything that happened in Seattle, and finding out Jake is my dad, and Lamb, and finding out about Lilly and Aaron, and now Liam. I just…can’t anymore. It’s all just too much. I need my brain to shut up.”  
“Breathe babe. What can I do to help?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Babe, you have to let me help.”  
“There’s literally nothing you can do. Let’s just go, please?”

He pushes off the truck and walks away as he mutters:  
“Fine.”

I get in the truck and put my backpack in the backseat. When Jax gets in the truck I say quietly:  
“I love you.”  
“Put your seatbelt on.”

I look over at him and his jaw is clenched. His face is pure SoA Jax. Angry and dangerous. I put my seatbelt on and curl into myself in the seat, facing the window. By the time we’re on the freeway I can feel tears streaming down my face. A little while later I hear him sigh heavily behind me, then the sound of the CD player accepting a CD. The opening notes of the first song on the album fill the truck, and I hear Jax whisper:  
“I love you too.”

I turn to look at him and he’s normal Jax again, the anger is gone, but it’s been replaced by a sadness that I can feel from here.  
“Talk to me sweetheart. What’s wrong?”  
“I keep fucking up. I keep hurting you, and I don’t know how to stop.”  
“The doctors at the hospital told me I have PTSD. Apparently it’s common in abuse victims. I have trouble processing events and emotions, I run away from conflict, I have panic attacks and depressive events, I seek solace in sex, I use sex or physical affection to make people care about me…basically I’m completely fucked up. It’s not your fault babe. It’s my brain.”  
“PTSD is treatable. Chibs has it.”  
“Yeah…But I’ve only been out of the hospital a few days. I haven’t had a chance to find a shrink. I’ve been taking my anti-anxiety meds and my anti-depressants, but with everything that’s been happening, my brain is having trouble processing.”  
“Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“I thought I had it under control! But it just became too much so quickly. And then I wasn’t clear about the problem, and then you got mad.”  
“Not at you.”  
“What?”  
“Earlier. I wasn’t mad at you. I was mad at myself. I knew I fucked something up. But I didn’t know what it was.”  
“But you didn’t. There just legitimately is nothing you can do to help when my brain is overwhelmed.”  
“Why did you have to bring this up now when it’s physically impossible for me to hold you?”

I shrug and say:  
“Captive audience?”  
He glances over at me and grabs my hand before pulling it to his mouth to kiss it.  
“You are infuriating. You know that?”  
“I have been told this, yes.”

I shift my body so I can curl up in my seat with my head on the centre console. He reaches over and strokes my hair as “You’re Still You” starts playing.  
“I love this song. It always makes me think of you.”  
“Really?”  
“Yup. In the hospital they let me listen to this album on repeat, and every time this song came on I thought of you.”

I start singing along as Jax strokes my hair:  
Through the darkness, I can see your light  
And you will always shine  
And I can feel your heart in mine  
Your face, I’ve memorized, I idolize just you  
I look up to everything you are  
In my eyes, you do no wrong, I’ve loved you for so long  
And after all is said and done, you’re still you  
After all, you’re still you  
You walk past me, I can feel your pain  
Time changes everything  
One truth always stays the same, you’re still you  
After all, you’re still you  
I look up to everything you are  
In my eyes, you do no wrong, and I believe in you  
Although you never asked me to, I will remember you  
And what life put you through  
And in this cruel and lonely world  
I’ve found one love  
You’re still you  
After all, you’re still you

His hand stills against my hair as the song ends. I lift my head so I can look at him and he has tears on his cheeks.  
“Oh Jax…I didn’t mean to make you cry.”  
“Good tears baby. That’s really what you think of me? I’ve murdered two men in the past two days.”  
“For me. To protect me.”  
“I said awful things about you last night.”  
“And then you said the exact opposite of those things when you were talking to Liam.”  
“I did?”  
“Yeah, love, you did. You referred to me as a piece of ass when you were trying to get a reaction out of Leo. But when Liam referred to me that way, you said, and I quote: ‘That is not an acceptable way to speak about the mother of my child. Veronica is not a piece of ass. She is my old lady. My future Queen. You are a small town meth-head leader of an inbred family group of sociopaths. You are not worthy of breathing the same air as her, let alone touching her.’.”  
“You remember what I said word for word?”  
“It was nice to hear in the middle of a pretty shit night. There’s a rest stop coming up. Turn in.”  
“Yeah, okay.”

When the exit comes up for the rest area he pulls in and parks the truck slightly away from the other cars. He gets out of the truck and comes around to my door. He opens it and reaches in to undo my seatbelt. Then he climbs in and lifts me up enough that he can sit in the seat with me in his lap. He wraps his arms around me and kisses the side of my head.  
“You really see light in my darkness?”  
“Yes. My Jax is all light. He’s gentle, loving, funny, sweet, and protective. And yeah, there’s this other side of you, but even when you are your coldest and scariest I can still see my Jax in your eyes. I know you are in there, and I know that you would do anything to keep me safe.”  
“You might change your mind the first time you witness my violent side first hand.”  
“No. I won’t.”  
“How can you be sure?”  
“Because I know you. And no matter what you have to do for the club, or me, or whatever, you are still you inside. I have seen how loving and gentle you are with Abel. I have felt how gentle and loving you are with me. Nothing you do is going to make me change my mind about loving you.”  
“How did I get so lucky to find you?”  
“You drew the short straw. I’m infuriating, remember?”  
“You’re amazing, wonderful, brilliant, and sexy. And yes, sometimes you are infuriating.”

I turn my head and kiss him.  
“I love you.”  
“I love you. I was going to wait until tonight after the vote, but I think this works.”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ring box.  
“Veronica Mars, will you marry me?”  
“Yes.”  
“You don’t even want to look at the ring first?”  
“The ring isn’t the important bit.”  
I take the ring box from him and open it. The ring is white gold with a large princess cut blue sapphire in the centre and clusters of small diamonds on the sides.   
“Jax…This is beautiful.”  
“It was your grandmother’s. Jake gave it to me when we were there.”  
“Will you put it on me, or do I have to do it myself?”  
“So demanding.”

He takes the ring out of the box and slips it on my finger before kissing me.  
“I know you said you didn’t want to get married until after university, but…”  
“But you want to get married sooner?”  
“Darlin’, I would marry you tomorrow if you would agree.”  
I look at him for a moment and then say:  
“Christmas.”  
“Christmas?”  
“There’s no way Celeste, Gemma, and I can pull a wedding together before Christmas. Those two will spend months bickering before any actual planning gets done…So we’ll get married on Christmas Eve.”

He kisses me and says:  
“I love you so much darlin’.”  
“I love you. But we can’t stay here in this rest area all day. We have a vote we need to be present for.”

Jax sighs and says:  
“Fine.”

He kisses me again and then opens the truck door and slides out from under me. He gets out of the truck and closes my door before getting back in on his side. I put my seatbelt back on and admire my ring as he pulls out of the rest area and back onto the freeway. I pull my phone out and send Jake a message: ‘Dad, thank you for Grandmother’s ring. It’s beautiful.’ I get a response right away saying: ‘I’m glad you like it. Does this mean my little girl is engaged?’ I respond with a simple: ‘Yes.’

I curl up in my seat so I can rest the side of my head on the headrest facing him. I don’t remember much after that, so I must fall asleep. I wake up to Jax running his hand over my face.  
“We’re here sweetheart.”

I open my eyes and see the police station in front of us.  
“So we’re talking to Unser first?”  
“Yeah. Might as well.”

We get out of the truck and walk into the police station. Jax takes my hand and leads me into Unser’s office. Unser looks up from the paperwork he’s looking at and says:  
“Jax…and you must be Veronica.”  
“That’s me. It’s nice to meet you Chief Unser.”  
“Oh, call me Wayne darlin’. Sit down, sit down.”

Jax says:  
“Unser, we need a favour.”  
“What is it Jax?”  
“We need you to hire from outside the station for the Deputy Chief position. Someone friendly to the club.”  
“Someone loyal to the new Queen you mean?”  
“He’s loyal to the club, but yes. He’s in love with Veronica.”  
“Is he a good cop, aside from the loyalty to the club?”

I respond:  
“Yes. He is.”  
“And he has references, I assume?”  
“Yes. Sheriff Keith Mars of the Balboa County Sheriff’s Department, and Jake Kane.”  
“Of Kane Software? How?”  
“Jake is my biological father.”  
“Well, that’s an interesting development.”

Wayne looks at me and says:  
“Veronica, are you sure you want to bring this officer here instead of cultivating one of my officers? I think Hale could easily fall in love with you.”  
“I want Leo. No offence to your officers, but I trust him.”  
“And he understands that he will be here, working for me, protecting the club for a year before you move here permanently?”  
“Yes.”  
“And he understands that if he denies any request from Clay before he’s achieved total trust he will be killed?”  
“Yes.”

Jax says:  
“He was tested extensively last night unfortunately. He did exceptionally. No questions asked.”

Wayne says:  
“Veronica, could you give Jax and I a moment please?”  
“Of course.”

I stand up and leave the office, walking out into the main bullpen area. An attractive cop with brown hair about Jax’s age walks up to me.  
“Can I help you?”  
“No, just waiting for Jax to be done talking to Unser. I’m Veronica.”  
I hold out my hand for him to shake, which he does, saying:  
“David Hale.”  
“Nice to meet you.”  
“i must say, you aren’t what I expected.”  
“Oh? What were you expecting?”  
“Someone older for starters.”  
“Ah, well. I hate to disappoint.”  
“How old are you?”  
“Seventeen.”  
“So you were…fifteen when Abel was conceived?”  
“Concerned for me David?”  
“Yes.”  
“Don’t be. I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”  
“He’s twenty-seven. He’s too old for you.”  
“That’s what everyone keeps saying, and yet, I’m okay with the age difference.”  
“It’s statutory rape.”  
“Technically. But I’m not concerned about it. I’ll be eighteen in a couple of months. Just don’t think about it.”

I lift my hand and pat his cheek.  
“Really, David. I’m fine. Jax has never been anything but wonderful to me.”  
“He got you pregnant when you were fifteen.”

I lean in and whisper:  
“No he didn’t. He stepped up and took care of me and my then unborn son after I was raped.”  
“Really? That doesn’t sound like the Jax I know.”  
“Maybe you don’t know him that well.”

He reaches for my hand and holds it up so he can look at my ring.  
“You’re engaged to him?”  
“Yes.”  
“Even with all of his illegal activities, there’s no way he could afford this ring.”  
“It was my grandmother’s. My father gave it to Jax yesterday.”  
“Was your grandmother a Rockefeller?”  
“No, but she married a Kane. My father is Jake Kane.”  
“Ah, so Daddy will keep you in comfort and jewels when you marry a criminal.”  
“There’s no need to be rude, David. I just found out that Jake is my Dad. I was raised by a Sheriff, in a manner that was decidedly not luxurious.”  
“A cop’s daughter is marrying the Prince of the Sons of Anarchy? How does the Sheriff feel about that?”  
“He loves Jax.”  
“How does the billionaire feel about the criminal marrying his only surviving daughter?”  
“Well, he gave Jax the ring, so that should answer your question. Any chance I could have my hand back at some point?”

He lets go of my hand and says:  
“Sorry.”  
“That’s alright. You grew up with Jax and Opie, right?”  
“Yeah.”  
“So how come you became a cop instead of patching in?”  
“My Dad and older brother were and are really opposed to the MC, plus I never really mastered riding a motorcycle.”

I laugh and say:  
“Me either. It’s much easier to be in a cage.”  
“Agreed…Veronica?”  
“Yes?”  
“Would you like to get coffee sometime? I can educate you about life in Charming outside of the MC.”  
“I’d like that. I’m only here for today this trip, but we’ll be back in a couple of weeks, and then we’ll be here for 2 weeks, so coffee would be good.”  
“Jax won’t be upset will he?”  
“Why would he be upset about me going for coffee with an attractive cop? That doesn’t seem rage-inducing at all.”  
“You’re snarky. I like it…I also like being called attractive, so feel free to continue doing that.”  
“You are flirting with me David. Didn’t you just say that Jax was too old for me? You’re the same age, aren’t you?”  
“Yeah. Normally I wouldn’t be flirting with you, but I can’t seem to help it.”  
“It’s my magnetic personality.”  
“That could be it.”  
“Or the fact that I’m really hot.”  
He laughs and says:  
“That might have something to do with it.”  
“I think in your case it has a lot to do with the fact that I’m Jax’s old lady, and if Jax has it, you want it for yourself.”  
“Damn. Are you a high school student or a shrink?”  
“Don’t need to be a shrink to notice that you became less protective and more flirtatious once you found out that Jax and I were engaged.”

Before he can say anything further, Jax comes out of Unser’s office.  
“Veronica, we need to get going.”  
“Okay.”

I stand on my toes and kiss David on the cheek.  
“Goodbye Deputy Hale.”

I walk out of the station with Jax and when we get to the truck he pushes me up against the door.  
“What was that?”  
“Just encouraging the flirtation. He likes me.”  
“Baby, if you manage to cultivate him into a friend of the club I will set up a fucking shrine and worship you like the goddess you are. We’ve been trying to get him on board for years.”  
“We’re going for coffee when we’re back in town. He wants to show me Charming life outside the MC.”

He growls a little as he bites my neck and says:  
“I am marrying a brilliant sexual goddess. Men fall at her feet!”  
“Damn straight you are.”

I kiss him and then say:  
“We should go to the shop, right?”  
“Yup.”

When we get to Teller-Morrow, the shop is closed, but the lights are on by the clubhouse. Jax wraps his arm around my waist and we walk over to the clubhouse door. Before we walk in, Jax stops and says:  
“Babe, you’re all tense. What’s up?”  
“I’m just nervous. This isn’t how things are done.”  
“Well, it is tonight. So put on your badass bitch face and let’s get this vote done so we can have a party.”

He kisses me and then opens the door. We walk in, and immediately Bobby hugs me, followed by Tig, Chibs, Juice, and Piney. Clay wraps me in a bear hug and whispers in my ear:  
“Don’t worry kiddo. I know this is strange, and I know Kozik is freaking out, but this isn’t a trap. I’m not trying to hurt you. I wouldn’t hurt the mother of my grandson.”  
“Thank you Clay.”

When he lets me go I walk up to Opie, sit on his lap, and finish his beer.  
“Thanks Ope.”  
He gently squeezes my waist, kisses the side of my neck, and says:  
“No problem, baby.”  
I kiss his cheek and stand up, giving Happy a quick hug before walking back over to Jax.  
“Feel better with some booze in your system?”  
“That wasn’t about the warm, stale beer. That was about Opie. I just can’t control myself around him.”  
“Oh shut up. You’re such a brat.”

Clay clears his throat and says:  
“Now that all parties are here, it’s time for church. Come with me, Veronica.”

I walk away from Jax and take Clay’s offered hand. He leads me into a room with a giant, carved table. He gestures to a chair and says:  
“Sit in Jax’s seat, baby.”  
“I can stand, Clay.”  
“Don’t talk back, not in the chapel. Just for once in your goddamn life, do as you're told. Please?”  
“Yes, sir.”

I sit down and the guys file in and take their respective seats, except for Jax, who stands behind me with his hands on my shoulders. Clay says:  
“You all understand that this vote is unprecedented. There’s an old lady in the room, she’s going to tell us a little story, then we’re going to vote. She will be in the room as we vote. The issue at hand is not currently club business, it’s family business. You can vote no and it will stay family business, or you can vote yes and we can help our newest old lady out. Veronica, start at the beginning. Tell us what we need to know in order to vote.”

I take a deep breath and say:  
“Almost two years ago, my best friend Lilly Kane was murdered. I’ve since found out that her father is my father, so I guess I should say that almost two years ago my older sister was murdered. The day she died she told me she had a secret, and that it was a good one. Those were the last words she ever said to me. Our brother Duncan and I just found out what that secret was. She had been having sex with her boyfriend’s father…Aaron Echolls. We discovered tapes he had made of the two of them together, including one from two days before her death of them having sex. There was a tape of Lilly on the day she died, she discovered the cameras in the room where she met him. The tape showed her figuring out how the cameras work, and then she takes the tape. Duncan and I found these tapes hidden in her room, which means she took all of them from Aaron’s hiding spot. When he figured it out, he killed her.”

Opie looks at me and says:  
“How do you know he killed her?”  
“Aaron has a lightening fast temper. I’ve seen him lose it many times over the years. He has beaten his son to within an inch of his life multiple times and covered it up publicly with excuses like snowmobile accidents. He would have no problem killing a teenage piece of ass if she threatened to expose him to the public. Which Lilly would. Lilly was fearless, and idiotic.”

Juice speaks up:  
“I’ve met Aaron Echolls, he is soul-less. I’ve also seen the marks he has left on Logan first hand thanks to the locker room at school.”

Chibs says:  
“Veronica, are you afraid of him?”  
“Yes. I am. If he finds out I found the tapes and watched them, he will try to kill me. I have no doubt about that.”

Piney says:  
“And Lilly’s parents want him dead?”  
“Yes. So does Logan, Aaron’s son.”

Jax speaks up:  
“What Veronica didn’t mention is that Aaron had a tape of her in his little collection too. It was her and Lilly lying on the bed talking. They are both in their bikinis. The fact that this tape was kept with the rest of his collection implies that he was using it for the same purpose. The date on the tape was before Veronica’s 15th birthday.”

I watch as all the guys get angry.  
“I didn’t mention that because I wanted you to vote based on what he did to Lilly, not because you feel he wronged me.”

Juice says:  
“For the record, I remember that summer, before Lilly died. That was the summer she finally convinced you to stop wearing Logan’s t-shirts over your swim suits. It was a good summer for all the male residents of Neptune.”

I glare at him and say:  
“Shut up Juice.”  
“I’m just saying that Mr. Echolls was probably not the only inappropriately aged guy to have that image in his spank bank. I know all the teenage guys did.”

Jax reaches over and smacks Juice on the back of the head. Juice nods and says:  
“I deserved that.”

The guys all laugh, then Clay says:  
“Are we ready to vote?”  
They all answer:  
“Yeah.”  
Clay says:  
“Okay. The vote is whether we kill Aaron Echolls. My vote is yes.”  
Tig:  
“Yes.”  
Chibs:  
“Yes.”  
Opie:  
“Yes.”  
Piney:  
“Yes.”  
Happy:  
“I know I don’t technically get a vote, but yes.”  
Juice:  
“Hell yes.”  
Bobby:  
“Yes.”  
Jax:  
“Yes.”

Clay bangs the gavel and says:  
“Unanimous vote. Motion passes.”  
He looks at me and puts his hand on my arm.  
“Can you go out to the main clubhouse? Gemma should be out there, and you shouldn’t know the details that we’re about to discuss.”  
“Yeah. Thank you guys, really.”

I stand up and walk out of the room, closing the door behind me. Gemma looks at me from the bar and I nod. She smiles and then looks at the security camera monitor that’s behind the bar.  
“What the hell is he doing here?”  
“Who is it?”  
“Hale.”  
“I’ll deal with him.”

She looks at me and raises an eyebrow before saying:  
“Okay baby.”

When I get outside, Hale is standing next to the picnic table right outside the clubhouse door. I walk over and sit on the picnic table with my feet on the bench.  
“Deputy Hale. What are you doing here?”  
“I was just curious why you are only here for a day for this visit. I went to Jax’s house and the two of you weren’t there, so I figured you must be here.”  
“We just came for a short visit with the guys and Gemma. There’s no big mystery here David.”  
“Don’t do that. Don’t lie to me.”  
“Why not? You’re a cop who has made his intentions of shutting down this club very clear.”

He steps closer to me and puts his hand on my cheek.  
“That was before.”  
“You can’t seriously expect me to believe that in the course of a five minute conversation earlier you decided to throw away years of being a good cop and become friendly with, as you described them, a bunch of criminals, all because of a cute teenage girl.”  
“Not friendly with, just not hell-bent on shutting them down.”  
“At this moment.”

I stand up and move away from him.  
“We’re here for our engagement party. That’s why we’re only here until tomorrow morning.”  
“I still feel like you are lying to me.”  
“Well, that’s unfortunate, because I’m not.”

My phone rings, it’s Leo.  
“I have to take this. Just give me a second.”  
I answer the phone and say:  
“Hey Leo.”  
“Did you talk to Unser?”  
“Of course I talked to Unser. Get those references from Keith and Jake. Jax already talked to them about it.”  
“When will you be home?”  
“Tomorrow.”  
“Will I see you?”  
“Yes, Leo. I’ll come by the station when I get home.”  
“Good. Goodbye Miss Mars.”  
“Goodbye Deputy.”

I hang up the phone and look at Hale. He has a hurt look on his face.  
“What David?”  
“You’re bringing a cop in from Neptune to take the job that is supposed to be mine.”  
“Because he’s loyal to the club. He would do anything to protect me, and therefore will protect the club. Aside from his feelings for me, he’s a good cop. You’ll like him.”  
“I will protect you. You don’t need him.”  
“David, did you miss the part about protecting the club? You are of the belief that I need protection from the club…I don’t. Leo will protect the club in order to protect me because he loves me. It’s the same reason why Unser protects the club, because he loves Gemma.”   
“I can protect the club if that’s what I have to do.”  
“David, they’ve been trying to get you on board for years. They’re not going to believe that you changed your mind so quickly.”  
“Then I’ll prove it to them. Trust me, I can take care of the club if that’s what I need to do.”  
“Why?”  
“Why what?”  
“Why go against what your family wants, what you wanted up until this morning?”

He steps towards me and puts one hand on my waist and the other on my neck.  
“Don’t do what you are thinking about doing.”  
“Why?”  
“Because there are cameras, and I guarantee at least Gemma is watching.”  
“I don’t care.”  
“You should. I am Jax’s fiancée. You cannot just kiss me.”  
“Does Leo get to kiss you?”  
“Yes.”  
“In front of Jax?”  
“Yes.”

He shakes his head slightly and steps towards me, saying:  
“Fuck it.”  
Then he kisses me. When he pulls back, he says:  
“Tell them I’m on board. They can test me however they want. They own me now.”  
He drops his hands and walks back to his truck, gets in, and drives away. 

I turn to walk back into the club house. As I enter, the guys are coming out of the chapel. I launch myself at Jax and kiss him before saying:  
“What was that you were saying earlier about building a shrine and worshipping me like the goddess I am? Well, get worshipping babe. Hale is on board. He says you guys can put him through whatever to test him. You own him now.”

Before Jax can say anything, Tig says:  
“You turned two cops in the course of 48 hours? Do you have a magic pussy or something?”  
“Yes, Tig. It’s magical.”

Jax whispers in my ear:  
“How did you get him on board?”  
“My wit and charm, of course. The phone call I received from Leo while I was talking to him might have helped actually. He got a little jealous.”  
“Did he touch you?”  
“Yes. Hand on cheek early in the conversation, after I stepped away from him he touched my waist and neck. At the end of the conversation, after asking if Leo was allowed to kiss me, he said ‘fuck it’ and kissed me before saying that the club owns him. It was a pretty chaste kiss. Nothing to kill him over.”

Jax says nothing but his jaw clenches.   
“I will mention though…I think the main reason Hale wants me is because I’m yours. Earlier when I talked to him he was…protective? Mostly regarding my age…Until he found out we were engaged, then he got flirty. That could be an issue. Leo wanted me immediately, it had nothing to do with you, he was flirting with me when I was with Eli too. I’m concerned that although Hale says he’s on board with the club, he’s still going to try to compete with you.”  
“We’ll take Hale at his word for now. Test him. He fails, he dies. We’re still bringing Leo in. I trust him with the club, and more importantly, I trust him with you.”

Opie comes over and picks me up out of Jax’s arms. He says loudly:  
“Now that the vote is over and Ronnie here is done seducing Deputy Hale, can we discuss this giant fucking rock on her hand?”  
“Put me down, Opie.”

He puts me down and Jax takes my hand. He waits until everyone is quiet and then says loudly:  
“Veronica and I are engaged. We’re getting married Christmas Eve, and I expect every one of you assholes to be there.”

Gemma says:  
“Why Christmas Eve baby?”  
I respond before Jax can by saying:  
“Jax wants to get married as soon as possible, but I didn’t think that you, Celeste, and I could get a wedding planned before December. We’re all pretty stubborn ladies, I sense some arguments in our future.”  
“You want me to help plan it?”  
“Of course, Gemma. You are Jax’s mom and the Queen of SAMCRO. There is no way I would have a wedding that you didn’t help plan.”

Clay whispers in my ear from behind me:  
“Smart girl.”  
He grabs my shoulders and turns me around to hug me.  
“Congratulations baby.”  
“Thank you.”  
He lets go of me so he can hug Jax, and I’m immediately wrapped in someone else’s arms. As I realize that it’s Opie he kisses me and then whispers:  
“I’m just the first of many. Tradition states that all the guys have to kiss the new fiancée.”  
“Do all of them have to stick their tongue in my mouth? Because I don’t consent.”  
He laughs and says:  
“Nope…That’s hopefully just me. Sorry baby. Couldn’t resist.”  
“Well, exercise some self control next time.”  
He laughs again and sets me down as he says:  
“Did you miss the part where it’s tradition for all the guys to kiss you? That means Clay too.”  
“Oh goody.”  
He walks over to Jax and the guys each take a turn grabbing me and kissing me. When Gemma makes her way over to me to hug me, only Clay and Juice haven’t kissed me yet. As Gemma wraps her arms around me, she says:  
“Clay wasn’t sure how comfortable you were with the kissing tradition. The other guys didn’t think about it, but Clay’s concerned that him kissing you will have a negative effect on your mental health, what with Lee and all.”  
“It’s fine, Gemma. I’m fine.”

After Gemma walks away, Clay approaches me. He grabs my chin and tilts up my face before gently kissing me.  
“Welcome to the family Veronica.”  
“Thank you.”

As he walks away, I look around the room. Most of the guys are over by the bar doing shots, but I don’t see Juice. I check the security monitors outside, and he’s not there, so I walk down the hallway to the apartment. The door is slightly ajar, so I knock softly and push it open. Juice is sitting on the bed, facing away from the door.  
“Go away.”

I walk into the room and push the door mostly closed again before walking over to the bed and sitting next to him.  
“No.”  
“I thought you were one of the guys.”  
“Nope. Just me. What’s going on?”  
“You’re marrying him? Before you even finish high school? What are you thinking?”  
“I’m thinking that I love him and that we have a child together.”  
“You’ll still love him and you’ll still have a child together after you graduate. Or better yet, after you graduate university, or law school!”  
“What’s your concern here baby? That I won’t go to university? I won’t go to law school?”  
“I’m concerned that you are going to marry him and throw your life away to just be his old lady. You are brilliant, and you deserve to have a life beyond this club!”

I turn so I am facing him and say:  
“Look at me.”  
When he doesn’t turn to face me I get up and drag a chair over so I can sit in front of him.  
“Juice. Look at me. Really look at me. Not the girl you used to have a crush on, because she’s not me anymore. Look at me.”  
“You’re still the same girl.”  
“No, Juice. I’m not.”

I reach over and hold his hand.  
“In the past two years, my best friend was brutally murdered, my Dad lost his job, I left town with my Mom, I was raped by Don Lamb — who I trusted more than almost anyone, I got pregnant, I fell in love, the love of my life left me and took my son, I was brutally raped for months by someone that realistically I should have been able to trust, my Mom didn’t help me — instead she blamed me for it, my Mom died, I tried to kill myself, and I found out that my Dad isn’t my Dad and in reality my dead best friend is actually my dead sister and my ex-boyfriend is actually my brother. After I tried to kill myself the doctors at the hospital told me I have PTSD. Apparently it’s common in abuse victims. I have trouble processing events and emotions, I run away from conflict, I have panic attacks and depressive events, I seek solace in sex, I use sex or physical affection to make people care about me…basically I’m completely fucked up. Juice, I’m not the same girl I was. I’m not the same girl you had a crush on. I look at old pictures of myself and don’t recognize the person I’m looking at.”

He just stares at me silently with tears in his eyes.  
“I am not going to throw my life away. I’m going to finish high school with my current kickass GPA, I’m going to go to fucking Stanford, and then to law school. I promise that me marrying Jax is not going to derail my life.”  
“It’s not that I don’t love Jax, or that I think he’s not good enough for you, I just think you deserve a better life than this.”  
“But Juice, this is the life I want.”  
“You’re okay with them all pawing at you out there? You’re okay with a tradition that means that every single one of them kissed you, including your future father-in-law?”  
“None of them pawed at me, and the only kiss that was more than a gentle brush of lips was freaking Opie.”  
“You’re okay with having to use your body to make cops agree to be owned by the club?”  
“Excuse me?”  
“What? You turned two cops in 48 hours and you didn’t fuck them?”  
“No, I didn’t. I kissed Leo, after he was already on board, and Hale kissed me, but it was less of a kiss than Opie gave me out there, so it hardly counts. I seek solace in sex with people I care about. I’m not a fucking whore.”

I stand up and storm out of the room, through the main clubhouse and outside. I keep going until I’m outside of the gate, then I turn left, which I think should lead me to the downtown core, and start running. After a few minutes I see a public garden on my left. I turn in and wind my way through the paths until I’m near the centre. I sit on a bench and cry. 

A little while later I hear a voice saying:  
“Veronica? Are you in here darlin’?”  
“Wayne?”  
“Yeah. Where are you kiddo?”  
“In the middle, by a fountain.”

I hear footsteps and then Wayne sits next to me.  
“You run when you’re upset huh?”  
“It helps me think…Or not think, depending on what I need.”  
He puts his arm around my shoulders and says:  
“What happened sweetheart? Juice said it was his fault, but he wouldn’t elaborate, and then Jax beat the shit out of him…Oh, speaking of Jax.”

He pulls his phone out and I take it from him.  
“Don’t call Jax. I just want to be alone for a while Wayne. Please? I know my way back to TM. I promise I won’t get lost.”  
“Alright darlin’. I’ll go, but go back to TM soon, okay?”  
“Yeah. Thanks Wayne.”

I hand him his phone and he leaves. Once his footsteps are far enough away I get up and move through the garden to the back corner, far away from where Wayne saw me, and out of sight, but where I can see the centre fountain. I pull my phone out and confirm it’s on silent and then just sit and wait.

Five minutes after Wayne left, Opie and Jax burst into the centre of the garden.   
“Goddamn it Veronica.”  
“Why would she leave?”  
“Because she knew Unser was going to call me. And she’s upset. She likes to be alone when she’s upset.”  
“What the hell did Juice do?”  
“I don’t know. He wouldn’t tell me.”  
“I’ll try calling her. Maybe she’ll answer for me.”  
“No. She wants to be alone, we’ll let her be alone. She’ll come back to TM when she’s ready.”

Jax walks away and Opie taps out a text message before following. My phone briefly lights up when I receive the message: ‘Tell him you’re safe. I don’t know what Juice did to upset you so badly, but tell Jax you’re safe. If you don’t want to go back to TM, go to my house. It’s three blocks down on the right. My truck should be in the driveway.’

I stand up and make my way across the garden to the street. I turn away from TM and head for Opie’s house. When I spot his truck I knock on the front door. When Donna answers her face lights up.  
“Ronnie! Ope told me you were in town today, I didn’t think I’d get to see you. Come in. I was just reading the kids a bedtime story.”

I send Jax a quick message while I follow her in: ‘I’m safe. I’m with Donna and the kids.’ I put my phone away in time to be attacked with hugs from the kids.  
“Hi guys. I missed you.”  
“Aunty Ronnie, will you sit with us while Mom reads the story?”  
“Uh…Of course I will! That’s why I’m here!”

I sit on the couch and pull Kenny into my lap as Ellie sits next to me. I wrap my arm around her as Donna gets settled on the other side of Ellie. She makes it through chapter one of the first Harry Potter book before we hear a truck and a motorcycle in the driveway. Opie and Jax walk in, and Jax takes in the scene on the couch and smirks at me. 

Ellie says:  
“Look Daddy. Aunty Ronnie came to visit us.”  
“I see that. I think it’s bedtime for you munchkins. Why don’t you head in and I’ll come tuck you in?”  
“Okay. Goodnight Aunty Ronnie.”  
“Goodnight beautiful.”

Opie walks over to me and says:  
“He’s out. I’ll take him.”  
He kisses me on the head as he picks up Kenny and walks out of the room.

Jax says:  
“You gotta stop running when you get upset babe. But I’m glad you came here.”  
“Full disclosure? I was still at the garden when you were. I didn’t come here until Opie texted me and told me to.”  
He rolls his eyes and says:  
“Of course you were. Probably watching us the whole time.”  
“Yup. You aren’t very observant. You should work on that.”

Donna reaches over to me and rubs my arm as she says:  
“What happened sweetheart?”  
“Juice said something stupid. It upset me. I’m okay.”  
“You wanna talk about it?”  
“No. This helped a lot. Thank you Donna.”  
“Are we going to see you again before you leave?”  
“We’re leaving in the morning, so probably not?”

Jax clears his throat and says:  
“Gemma is insisting on a family breakfast, so everyone will be at their house in the morning before we leave.”  
“Oh. Well, then I guess I’ll see you in the morning Donna.”

I stand up and when Donna does too I wrap my arms around her.  
“If you ever need to talk, Veronica, I’m here. I know Opie keeps me in the dark about most club business, but I am here for you.”  
“Thank you Donna. I’ll probably take you up on that.”

Opie walks back into the room as Jax and I are leaving. I kiss him on the cheek and say:  
“Thanks for the text.”  
“I couldn’t just let you sit in the corner of the garden all damn night.”  
“You saw me?”  
“Yeah. You’re not as sneaky as you think you are little girl.”  
“Jax didn’t see me.”  
“He’s a bit oblivious when he’s upset.”

Jax pulls me away from Opie saying:  
“That’s enough of that. See you in the morning Ope.”

After Opie closes the door and we’re walking towards the truck, I say:  
“How bad is Juice?”  
“Pretty bad.”  
“Is he still at TM?”  
“Yeah. He’s in the apartment.”  
“We need to go see him.”  
“He upset you!”  
“Yes, he did. He upset me, and then his brother, who he loves, beat the shit out of him. We need to go check on him.”  
“Fine. Get in the truck.”

We drive back over to TM and all the lights are off and the clubhouse door is locked. Jax unlocks it and we walk inside.   
“Let me talk to him, okay?”  
“He upset you last time.”  
“I know. Just give me some time alone with him.”  
“Fine. But I’m not happy about it.”  
“I didn’t expect you to be dear.”

I kiss him before walking down the hallway to the apartment. I open the door without knocking and turn on the light. Juice is lying in bed under the covers, facing the far wall. I walk over to the bed, take off my shoes, and lie down on top of the covers behind him, wrapping my arm loosely around him.  
“I’m so sorry Juice. I didn’t think when I left. I should have realized he’d hurt you. I’m so sorry.”  
I start crying, I can’t help it. He sighs and rolls over. His face is bruised and cut, he looks like he took a hell of a beating.   
“Is this the worst of it, or is there more?”

He pulls the blanket down, exposing his torso. There are bruises all over his ribs and abs. I gently run my fingers over his torso, trying to lightly touch each injury.   
“I’m so sorry Juice. God, I hate that this is his default reaction. I never meant for you to get hurt baby.”  
“I know, Veronica. But this is what you are signing up for. A vicious, violent husband whose default reaction is to beat the shit out of people that cause a problem. I’m so afraid that he’s going to turn that on you if you do something he doesn’t like.”  
“Juice…Jax would never hurt me. You know that.”

He puts his hand on my cheek and says:  
“I don’t know that. And neither do you. Not for sure.”  
“Juice, the only reason you are worried about this right now is that Jax just beat you up. If it was a normal day you’d never suggest that he could hurt me.”  
“You have been through too much in the last two years to marry a violent man before you even graduate from high school.”  
“He’s not violent with me, Juice. He’s sweet and gentle. Even when he’s angry the worst he does is yell or give me the silent treatment until he calms down. He’s not going to hurt me.”

His fingers tighten on the side of my face and he yells:  
“You don’t know that! You don’t know that there’s absolutely nothing you could do that would trigger him to hit you. You said it yourself, this is his default reaction to anger.”

I put my hand on his neck and gently brush my thumb along his jaw. I whisper:  
“Not with me, Juice. Not with me. I told you, he’s sweet and gentle with me. You need to calm down okay? What can I do to help?”  
“Kiss me.”  
“Juice…”  
“You let Hale kiss you earlier. You kissed Leo yesterday. And all the guys but me kissed you earlier as part of that stupid tradition. Please, Veronica. I just need to feel like someone loves me.”  
“Juice, we all love you.”  
“I want to go home, Veronica. I want to be Norris Clayton again. I want you to be the Veronica Mars you used to be, before the Sons broke you.”  
“Oh baby…You know you can’t go home. You can’t be Norris Clayton again. The fucking ATF saw to that. And I may not be the same Veronica, I may be completely fucked up and broken, but I’m here, and you know I love you.”  
“You’re leaving tomorrow.”  
“Yeah. I am. But only for a couple of weeks. We’ll be back and forth lots all summer and then as much as possible next year, but then I’m back for good next June. Everything will be okay.”  
“I don’t think it will. I don’t know if I can survive here without you.”  
“You can. This is where you belong. These are your brothers. You need them, but they need you too. You give them back a little bit of their humanity. You are good and kind, a true prince among men.”

He rolls his eyes at me, and I continue:  
“Don’t roll your eyes at me. You are legitimately a great guy. These guys need you around here. And one day you’ll meet someone and I can tell you all the reasons why you shouldn’t marry her.”

I wink at him before leaning in and softly kissing him. He moves his hand to the back of my head and deepens the kiss. He keeps kissing me as he moves his body closer to mine, sliding his hand out of my hair and down my back to pull me tight against his body. I run my fingers over his injured face and then pull away.  
“Juice, no. I love you, but I’m engaged to Jax. This can’t happen.”  
“You kissed me.”  
“You asked me to.”  
“You kept kissing me back.”  
“You’re right. I did. And I’m sorry if that led you on, but I can’t have sex with you. It’s not fair to you or Jax.”  
“I don’t care what’s fair for the fucking prince.”  
“Juice. He is your brother and your V.P.. You need to let this go.”  
“My feelings for you?”  
“Yes. He’s going to be my husband. I need you to accept that. You can’t let this get between the two of you.”  
“I’m not going to be able to talk you out of this, am I?”  
“Nope. I’m kind of smitten with him.”  
“Fine. I’ll play along. Be the good brother. But if he goes to prison and that prison clause kicks in, you are going to fuck me.”  
“Am I? You sure about that? Because I’m not so sure.”  
“You’ll get lonely and I’ll be there.”  
“Juicy, baby…that’s why they make vibrators. All the orgasms, none of the cheating.”  
“Oh god, I’m never going to sleep again. I’ll be haunted by dreams of you and your vibrator.”  
“Sorry Juice. You’re coming to breakfast tomorrow at Gemma’s right?”  
“Yeah. I’ll be there.”  
“Good. Get some sleep.”  
“Yeah, not likely without a cold shower.”  
“Well, I guess it’s a good thing there’s a bathroom right there, huh?”  
“You’re cruel, Veronica.”  
“I haven’t done anything cruel yet. This though? This is cruel.”

I reach over and wrap my fingers around his cock, give a squeeze, then remove my hand and get off the bed.  
“Devil woman.”

I laugh and grab my shoes before leaving the room. I turn off the light and close the door on my way out. In the hallway I find Jax, leaning against the wall, tears filling his eyes.  
“What’s wrong baby?”  
“He thinks I would hurt you?”  
“He’s just upset Jax. His rational mind knows that you would never hurt me. How long were you standing here?”  
“Since he yelled. I heard everything after that.”  
“Everything?”  
“Yup. Including the bit where you kissed him. And the bit where you talked about using vibrators if I go to prison. I like that plan by the way. I do not like the prison clause…At all.”  
“I have a solution for you. Don’t go to prison.”  
“That is a good solution, but just in case…How do you feel about demonstrating the use of those vibrators?”

I smack him in the chest and say:  
“Use your imagination.”

He wraps his arms around my waist and says:  
“I do have one question though, what was the cruel thing you did at the end?”  
“This.”

I wrap my fingers around his cock and squeeze before removing my hand and wrapping my arms around his neck. He growls and picks me up.  
“Damn him for being in the apartment. My house is so far away.”  
“Jackson. I am certain there is a room in this clubhouse you could fuck me in.”  
“The bar. I want you on the bar.”  
“That is not sanitary.”

He carries me down the hall to the main clubhouse, then puts me down and says:  
“Take your clothes off.”  
“All of them?”  
“All of them.”  
“No-one is going to be coming in right?”  
“Everyone is home. We’re alone aside from Juice.”  
“Okay.”

I put my shoes down and take my clothes off. Once I’m naked, he picks me up again and kisses me before setting me down on the bar.  
“Lie down babe.”

I lie down and he pulls me to the edge of the bar. He stops and takes his clothes off so he’s standing in front of me naked. He lifts my hips slightly and puts my legs over his shoulders. He licks at my core, occasionally biting at my clit while I squirm and moan under him. When I turn my head I see Juice standing in the door way watching us. I massage my breasts, pinching and twisting my nipples, watching Juice watch us. I get close to orgasm, I gasp and say:  
“Please, Jax. More.”  
He sucks on my clit and slides two fingers into me, stroking my inner walls. I scream when I orgasm, but he doesn’t stop his movements. He doesn’t let me come down from my first orgasm before a second hits me. I moan and whimper as I come, my legs shaking. He gently pulls his fingers out of me and softly laps at my clit until I come down. 

Then he pulls me off the bar, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. He whispers in my ear:  
“Do you want me to fuck you in front of Juice, or do you want to let him join in?”  
I look at him to see if he’s being serious.  
“One time offer baby. We can let him join in. He and I can fuck you at the same time. If you want.”  
“Put me down.”

His eyes sparkle as he puts me down.   
“My adventurous girl.”

I walk over to Juice and kiss him before reaching down to undo his pants.  
“Veronica? What are you doing? What is Jax letting you do?”  
“I want you. You do know how to do this right?”  
“Yeah, I’ve had sex before. Never with a girl I’m in love with though. And certainly never with that girl and her fiancé.”  
“Do you want to?”  
“You’re serious?”  
“Yeah Juice. Do you want to fuck me or not?”  
“Yes. God, yes.”  
“Then stop overthinking it and take off your damn pants.”

Jax walks up behind me and kisses my neck before he says:  
“Let’s go in the apartment. There’s lube and condoms in there.”  
“Yeah, okay.”

The three of us walk into the apartment and Jax pulls a condom and some lube out from a drawer. He hands me the condom and says:  
“Suit him up.”

I kiss Juice and run my hand down his chest and abs until my fingers wrap around his cock. I jerk him a few times as he moves his mouth down to my neck and bites gently.  
“You can be rougher with me Juice. I’m not made of glass. If you’re going to bite, bite baby.”

He growls and bites harder, sucking slightly before removing his mouth and licking the spot he just bit.

I roll the condom over him and say:  
“Lie down.”

He lays on the bed and I climb over him. I stay on all fours above him, kissing him while Jax lubes up my ass and his cock. He uses his fingers to gently stretch me out so he doesn’t hurt me.  
“Okay baby. Juice first.”

I line Juice up with my entrance and slide down onto him, lifting and lowering myself a few times to get used to the feeling of him inside me. He grips my hips tighter each time I lower myself.   
“Juice. Do not come until both of you are fucking me. I want to feel both of you inside me.”  
“You feel so good Veronica.”

I lean forward so my face is next to Juice’s ear, raising my ass for Jax while keeping Juice inside of me. Jax puts his hand on my back and says:  
“You ready baby?”  
“Yes. Please Jax.”

He slides into my ass and I can feel them both inside of me, pressing against each other through the thin membrane between them. I gasp and bite Juice’s neck as Jax slides in the rest of the way.   
“Let me know when you’re ready for us to move sweetheart.”  
“Move. Fuck me. Please.”

They both start moving, figuring out a rhythm as Jax pulls me into a more upright position and massages my breasts. Juice uses his thumb to rub hard circles on my clit. When I orgasm it’s explosive. I scream and then I start to cry. Juice looks concerned and I say:  
“Good tears. Don’t stop.”

They both keep moving, and keep running their hands over me, pinching, scratching, and gently petting. Juice groans and says:   
“I can’t last much longer.”  
Jax grunts in response:  
“Me either. I think we owe Veronica one last orgasm first though.”

Juice reaches for my clit and I stop him and say:  
“It’s a little oversensitive at the moment. I just want to enjoy feeling you guys. Don’t worry about another orgasm for me.”

They speed up their thrusts, keeping perfect time with each other until they both orgasm at the same time. It feels amazing. Jax slowly pulls out first, and then I move off of Juice. I collapse onto the bed next to him and Jax lies down next to me. I say:  
“Holy shit.”

Juice turns and kisses me before saying:  
“Agreed.”

Jax says:  
“We need to shower. And collect our clothes from the clubhouse.”

Juice says:  
“I’ll go get the clothes. Be right back.”  
He’s back with our clothes quickly. He drops them in a pile on the chair and pushes the door closed behind him. He holds his hand out for me to take and says:  
“Shower?”  
“Yeah.”

I take his hand and stand up, then hold my other hand out to Jax. He stands up and we all walk into the bathroom together. After a quick shower we climb into bed. Jax on one edge of the bed, Juice on the other, and me in the middle. I lie on my side with Jax curled up against my back with his arms around me, and Juice curled facing me, our hands intertwined between us.


	6. Day Six

When I wake up in the morning both guys are still sleeping. Jax is still curled around me from behind, but Juice has moved closer in his sleep, wrapping his arm around me and pressing his nose into mine. 

I shift my face a little bit and kiss him. As he wakes up he deepens the kiss and tightens his arm around me. When he stops kissing me I say:  
“Jax said last night was a one time offer.”  
“We’re still in bed, so still technically on the same one time…right? Like, if I slid my fingers into you, would he kill me?”  
“I don’t know, but I might kill you if you don’t.”  
“Well, in that case.”

I lift my top leg and drape it over Jax’s legs behind me. Juice runs his hand down my side and over my hip before brushing his fingers over my clit and sliding two fingers into me. I gasp and he whispers:  
“Shh baby. Stay quiet.”

He pumps his fingers in and out of me while rubbing on my clit. He uses his other hand to pinch and twist my nipples while kissing me to swallow the little moans and whimpers I’m making. I must be noisy enough to wake Jax, because he moves one of his hands down along my side and hip and slides two fingers into me along side Juice’s. I yell out when they start pumping in unison.  
“Oh god. Don’t stop. It feels so good.”

Juice rubs my clit harder and Jax growls in my ear:  
“Come for us baby. Fall apart for us.”

Juice bites my neck and Jax bites my ear and I come screaming their names. I whimper when they gradually pull their fingers out of me. 

“I know we’re supposed to go for breakfast, but can we just stay here?”  
“Sorry baby. Can’t miss breakfast. Mom will kill us.”  
“But…I don’t want this to stop.”

Jax looks at Juice and then says:  
“We can do it again in the future. But only ever the three of us together. Never just the two of you.”  
“Because all of us is fun, but just Juice and me is cheating?”  
“Yeah. You agree with that rule Juice?”  
“You’re going to let me touch Veronica again? Fuck her again?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Then I’ll agree to any rule you want to make.”  
“In that case, there’s a couple more.”  
“Okay.”  
“No-one can know about this. As far as everyone else is concerned, I do not share, and no-one but me is allowed to fuck Veronica. I don’t want them to start thinking of her as a crow eater instead of my old lady. Got it?”  
“Of course. I would never…”  
“And lastly, you cannot touch her in public any more than you normally would. The occasional hug, cheek kisses only. No lingering hands on her back or arms. I feel like I need to make this rule because you are a giant softie, and now that you’ve fucked her I expect you to feel the need to be loving towards her. And you can’t be. Not in front of people.”  
“That’s a fair assessment.”  
“Now, Juice, kiss Veronica and go home and change for breakfast. We’ll see you at Mom’s.”

Juice grins, leans in, and nuzzles his nose against mine before whispering:  
“I love you, you know that?”  
“I love you too Juice.”  
I kiss him, and he deepens the kiss before pulling away.  
“See you at Mom’s.”

He gets out of the bed and pulls his clothes on before walking out of the room and closing the door behind him. As the door closes, Jax lifts my leg so it’s resting on his again. Before I can ask him why, he shoves into me from behind. He growls in my ear:  
“Juice got to fuck your pussy last night. It’s my turn now.”  
He changes his angle a little and I cry out.  
“Harder, Jax.”  
He thrusts harder and faster as he bites down on my shoulder. We orgasm together and once he pulls out, I roll over to face him.  
“Well, that was new.”  
“We’ve done a bunch of new things in the past 12 hours darlin’. You need to be a bit more specific.”  
“You instigating sex without making sure that I consent first. Normally you’re very careful to get verbal consent.”  
“I’m sorry baby.”  
“Don’t apologize. I enjoyed it. And for the record, I pretty much always want to fuck you, so verbal consent isn’t something you actually need to get every time.”  
“You’ve just had bad experiences…That’s why I try to always confirm. I just wanted you so bad just now, my brain wasn’t working.”

I kiss him and say:  
“We need to get ready for breakfast. Let’s go shower.”  
“Yeah…You brought make up with you right?”  
“Yes. Why?”  
“Because it’s very clear that someone has been biting you.”  
“Crap. This is why I don’t fuck teenagers. They don’t just bite, they suck, leaving bruises where people can see them.”  
“I’ll teach him, babe. It won’t happen again, but today you’re going to need make up to cover those.”

My phone rings in my pants pocket on the chair, so I get up to grab it.  
“Leo? What’s wrong?”  
“They found Liam’s body.”  
“Okay, baby…That’s fine. There was no evidence. Just stay involved in the investigation. You know, I think Thumper might have wanted Liam dead. I heard that Liam was treating the PCHers like slaves instead of business partners. You should talk to Eli, Felix, and Marcus.”  
“Okay. Thanks Veronica.”  
“Just breathe babe. We’ll be home later this afternoon, okay?”  
“Okay.”

I hang up and look at Jax.  
“There was no evidence, right?”  
“There is no way that body can be tied to me or Leo.”  
“Good.”

I hold out my hand to him and say:  
“Let’s go get ready.”

Thirty minutes later we are clean and dressed, and my hickies are mostly covered. If no-one looks too closely we should be okay.  
“What do I say if someone notices the hickies?”  
“I guess I’ll have to take the blame for them, even though leaving visible bruises is not my style.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you too. Let’s go get this breakfast over with so we can go home to Abel.”

When we get to Gemma and Clay’s house, everyone is already there. Breakfast is uneventful, and no-one mentions my hickies, out loud at least. 

As I’m chatting with Donna I get a text from Opie saying: ‘Someone got a little bitey last night, huh? Hope you made him pay for that.’ I send one back saying: ‘Not yet. But you harass me or him about it and I’ll be sure to mention to him that you shoved your tongue in my mouth yesterday.’ He raises his eyebrows at me from across the table and sends a response: ‘Threats, Ronnie? And while you’re sitting next to my wife and everything. I’m hurt.’ I send a quick reply saying: ‘Imagine me sticking my tongue out at you right now. I’d actually do it, but then I’d have to explain to Donna why, and I don’t think she’d be happy about the kiss yesterday.’ I watch Opie as he reads the message and puts his phone away. He locks eyes with me and slightly tips his head towards the door. I turn to Donna and say:  
“I’ll be right back. I just need some air.”  
“Okay sweetheart. I’ll make sure no-one bothers you.”  
I lean over and kiss her cheek.  
“Thanks Donna.”

Jax is deep in conversation with Clay, so I send him a quick text saying: ‘I just need air. I’m going outside. I promise not to leave the property.’

I walk out the back door and lean against the house around the corner. I close my eyes and move my head so my face is pointing towards the sun. I don’t bother opening my eyes when large hands wrap around my waist and a forehead rests against mine. He kisses me, deep and lustful, until neither of us can breathe, before saying:  
“Why is Juice following you around like a puppy?”  
“How closely were you staring to notice the hickies? Donna was sitting right next to me and didn’t notice them.”  
“Oh good. She’s in an answer a question with a question mood.”

I open my eyes and look into his green eyes.  
“Seriously, Opie. What the hell are you doing? You were extra touchy in Neptune, even calling me baby — which you never do, your kiss during the ritual yesterday was excessive, you’ve clearly been staring at me so far this morning, now you’ve gone out of your way to be alone with me, and you’ve kissed me again.”  
“I don’t know. But you kissed me back.”  
“I kissed you back because I love you, but you need to figure out what is happening here, because you keep instigating things. I am engaged to your best friend and you are married. Figure out what the fuck you are doing, and stop it!”  
“Why is Juice following you around like a puppy?”

I don’t answer him, and have to try really hard not to shift my eyes away from his.  
“Jesus fuck. Jax didn’t give you those hickies did he? Juice did.”  
“Goddamn it, Opie. Let it go.”

His voice gets hoarser as he moves closer to me:  
“You fucked Juice. Does Jax know?”  
“Let it go, Opie.”  
His fingers tighten on my waist and he says:  
“Tell me the truth. Did you fuck Juice?”  
“Opie, you’re hurting me.”  
When his fingers tighten again, I gasp and start crying. He growls in my ear:  
“Did you fuck Juice?”  
“Yes.”  
“Does Jax know?”  
“Yes.”  
“Did he know before or after?”  
“It was his idea. You’re hurting me.”  
“It was his idea for you to fuck Juice? That doesn’t sound realistic.”  
“It was his idea for them to fuck me together. You are hurting me.”  
“You’d better come up with a better lie little girl, because Jax doesn’t share.”  
“I’m not lying. Let go of me.”

He tightens the fingers on one hand and moves his other hand to my throat.   
“Opie. I’m not lying to you. Why would I? You’re Jax’s best friend and one of the few people I completely love and trust. I’m not lying.”  
He tightens the fingers on my throat and says:  
“If Jax suddenly did decide he was going to share, why would he share with Juice?”  
“Why not Juice?”  
“Generally when guys decide to share their women it’s with their best friends, not random dudes.”

I take the deepest breath I can with his hand pressing on my throat and say:  
“Are you pissed that Jax let Juice fuck me, or that he hasn’t let you?”  
He tightens his fingers around my throat and steps closer to me before kissing me again. I gasp and struggle to say:  
“Opie, you’re hurting me. Stop. Please.”

My vision starts going black, but I see Clay out of the corner of my eye.  
“Let her go, Opie.”

Opie doesn’t move and Clay pulls his gun out and points it at Opie’s head.  
“Let her go.”

He lets me go and I drop to the ground, struggling to breathe. I hear Clay say:  
“Go inside, get your wife and children and get the fuck out of my house. We will talk about this later.”

I watch as Opie’s feet walk away and then Clay reaches for me. I flinch away as he touches me.  
“I’ll get Gemma, baby.”  
“No. I just want to be alone. Please.”  
“Okay, sweetheart. Come inside when you’re ready and Gemma will check your injuries.”  
“Okay.”

I wait until he walks away and then I go over to Jax’s truck. I put his hoodie on and lay down on the backseat. I can hear Donna in the driveway yelling at Opie:  
“What did you do to piss off Clay? Where is Veronica? I know you followed her outside. What did you do?”  
I hear him grumble at her, saying:  
“Nothing. I didn’t do anything. This has nothing to do with you. Let’s just go.”

Once I hear Opie’s truck leave, I get out of the truck and walk into the house. I walk up to Gemma and say:  
“I need your help with something.”  
“Sure, baby.”  
She turns around and looks at me before saying:  
“Let’s go in the bedroom, baby.”

She wraps her arm around my shoulders and leads me into her bedroom, closing the door behind us.  
“Let me see.”

I take off the hoodie and my shirt so she can see all of my injuries.  
“Oh, sweetheart. Opie did this?”  
“Yeah. Can you take pictures of my injuries please?”  
“You can’t…”  
“File a police report? No shit. But I can show Donna.”  
“Fair. That’s perfectly acceptable.”

She takes my phone from me and takes pictures of all my injuries, both from a distance and close up.  
“Do you want to tell me why he did this?”  
“I don’t know why. I don’t think he does either.”  
“Are you going to tell Jax?”  
“I’m going to have to. I’m a fucking walking bruise. There’s no way I can hide this from him.”  
“Clay could make him stay here for a few days. I could drive you home.”  
“No, that’ll be worse. Because then my Dads and Kozik will think Jax did this.”  
“You’re right. That won’t work.”  
“We just have to keep an eye on Jax so he has time to calm down before he sees Opie next.”

I’m putting my shirt back on when we hear Clay yelling in the other room. We look at each other and both say:  
“Shit.”  
We open the bedroom door and rush down the hall. Gemma walks into the main room and says:  
“What the fuck are you doing back here?”

I hear Opie say:  
“I need to talk to her. I need to apologize.”  
Clay says:  
“You have completely lost your fucking mind if you think you are getting near her again. You could have killed her.”  
Jax says:  
“What is going on?”

I step into the room and everyone stops talking and yelling. I take off my shirt and watch as all the guys process the handprint bruises on my waist, so dark they look black against my pale skin, and the handprint bruise on my throat, which is a lovely shade of purple-green. When they look at my face they notice my bloodshot eyes, a common side effect of strangulation.

Jax and Juice both say:  
“Jesus fucking christ.”

I put my shirt back on and look at Opie. He has tears in his eyes when he says:  
“Ronnie, I’m so sorry.”  
“That’s nice. Does apologizing make you feel better? Because it doesn’t help me at all. I trusted you.”

I look at Jax and say:  
“I really want to go home now. Please.”  
“Yeah, baby. Let’s go.”

I kiss Gemma on the cheek and wave at the guys, not letting any of them touch me. When I accidentally get too close to Opie he grabs my wrist. I yank my hand away and say:  
“If you ever touch me again I swear to God I will kill you.”

As I walk out of the house I hear Piney say:  
“You fucking bastard. Putting your hands on that little girl. After everything she’s been through!”  
Then I hear the sound of a punch landing. 

When we get to the truck I get in and send a message to Donna with the pictures of my injuries. The message simply says: ‘This is why Clay kicked Opie out this morning. Take the kids. Leave while you can.’ Her response came quickly: ‘We’re already gone. I’ll call you when we get settled. I love you.’ I send a reply: ‘I love you too. Kiss the kids for me.’ I put my phone down and look at Jax.  
“Speak babe.”  
“Why did he do this? He loves you.”  
“He noticed the hickies, and Juice acting weird. He figured out that I fucked Juice. He lost it.”  
“So he thought you cheated on me?”  
“At first, but he got angrier when he found out that you shared me. Said guys normally share with their best friends not other guys. I asked if he was mad that you let Juice fuck me or if he was mad that you haven’t let him fuck me. He just started squeezing my throat harder. That’s when Clay came out.”

Jax’s hands tighten on the steering wheel.  
“Jax…Yesterday during the kissing tradition, everyone just gave me a tiny kiss…except Opie. He shoved his tongue into my mouth. When I called him on it, he said he couldn’t resist.”  
“Why didn’t you tell me that yesterday?”  
“Because we were busy dealing with the Juice thing, and he’s your best friend.”  
“Was.”  
“Is. You are not going to throw away a 27 year friendship because of this. He fucked up, yes, but he’s still your best friend.”  
“You are defending him? He could have killed you.”  
“I am certain he would have stopped when I passed out.”  
“Oh, well, if you’re certain.”  
“Don’t get pissy with me Jax. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

He puts his seatbelt on and starts the truck.  
“Put your seatbelt on.”  
“Jax.”  
“If we don’t leave right now I’m going to kill Opie. Put your seatbelt on.”

I put my seatbelt on and wince when it pulls tight against my bruises. As he backs out of the driveway he turns my CD back on. I reach over and turn it off.   
“Sweetheart, it helps you relax.”  
“I don’t want to relax right now. I want to be pissed off. Yet another man I trusted hurt me today. I need to try to figure out how to explain the bruises to my Dads and Kozik. They’re all going to flip.”  
“Tell them the truth.”  
“I will tell them a version of the truth. Kozik will kill Opie if he finds out everything.”  
“Is that really such a bad thing?”  
“That’s a stupid fucking question.” 

I turn slightly, wincing as the seatbelt moves across my stomach and briefly brushes against my neck, and look out the window. 

A couple of hours later my phone rings. I glance at the caller id and answer it:  
“What?”  
“I’m so sorry, Veronica. I never meant to hurt you. I don’t know what happened.”  
“You lost your goddamn mind. That’s what happened. I just don’t understand why.”

Before Opie can respond, Jax says:  
“Hang up the damn phone, Veronica. I don’t want you talking to him.”  
“Well, I want to understand why someone I trust, someone I love did this to me. My wants and needs in this situation are more important than yours.”

I can hear that Opie is crying on the other end of the phone. I say:  
“You have to help me understand Opie. Why did this happen?”  
“I love you.”  
“That’s not an answer. This isn’t what love looks like. You can’t leave marks like this on my body and shrug it off with an ‘I love you’ and expect everything to be fine. I begged you to stop. I was crying and telling you that you were hurting me…And then I couldn’t breathe. I begged you to stop. Clay had to pull a fucking gun on you to get you to let me go. That’s not love, Opie. I need you to explain why this happened.”  
“I just wanted to be alone with you. I needed to be alone with you. To touch you without everyone else around. I thought Juice following you around like a puppy was funny, but then I realized that Jax doesn’t give people hickies and I saw red. When you opened your eyes I knew you were going to lie to me. I got jealous. I never meant to hurt you.”  
“Opie…I am your best friend’s fiancée. You don’t get to be jealous of who touches me. I told you earlier, you need to figure your shit out and stop it.”  
“I still think you lied to me.”  
“You were hurting me Opie. I couldn’t think straight enough to lie to you.”  
“I need to hear it from Jax.”  
“Honey, he’s really mad at you right now.”  
“Just put me on speaker.”

I look at Jax and say:  
“He says he needs to hear about the Juice thing from you. He still thinks I was lying to him.”  
“Fine. Put him on speaker.”

I put the phone on speaker and hold it closer to Jax.  
“Don’t speak Ope.”  
“Okay.”  
“After Veronica and I left your house last night we went back to the clubhouse so Veronica could check on Juice. Veronica didn’t lie to you. I shared her with Juice and made him promise to not tell anyone because I didn’t want the guys to think of her as less than my old lady. And now that I’ve explained that to you, this conversation is over.”

I hang up the phone and send a quick message with the pictures to Kozik: ‘Heads up...This is how I’m coming home. Warn my Dads please.’ He replies instantly: ‘Who did that?’ I answer: ‘Opie. No, you can’t kill him.’ I turn off the phone and throw it in the backseat. I press play on the CD player and look out the window. 

Half an hour later, Jax’s phone rings.  
“Babe, can you answer that?”  
“Yeah.”

I reach into his pocket and grab his phone.  
“Hi Dad.”  
“Veronica. I thought I called Jax.”  
“You did, but he’s driving.”  
“Ah. Kozik told me what happened. Are you okay?”  
“Yeah. Just sore and bruised.”  
“Well, I don’t want Celeste to see you, so I’m going to text Jax your new address. The apartment is already furnished, Celeste works fast. If you don’t like it, you can change anything you want. I will meet you at the apartment with Abel.”  
“Okay. Thanks Dad.”

I hang up and check the text messages. There’s one from Dad with an address and one from Opie saying: ‘Ronnie’s phone is off. I’m so sorry about this morning. I’m going to come to Neptune to talk to you guys in person. You can beat the shit out of me if you want.’ I reply with the address Dad sent then put the phone down.

I take off my seatbelt long enough to take the hoodie I’m wearing off, then I put the seatbelt back on and bunch the hoodie up to use as a pillow. I put it on the centre console and shift my body so I’m lying down. Jax strokes my hair as he drives and says:  
“What did your Dad want?”  
“To tell us our new address. And to tell us that he doesn’t want Celeste to see me all bruised, so he’ll meet us at the apartment with Abel.”  
“Do we have furniture?”  
“Yes, apparently Celeste is very efficient.”  
“Where is the apartment?”  
“Oceanfront, in the 09er area of town.”  
“So he went overboard even though you asked him not to.”  
“Of course he did.”  
“Who were the text messages from?”  
“One was the address from Dad. One was Opie saying he’s coming to Neptune to talk to us in person and that you can beat the shit out of him if you want.”  
“Did you give him the new address?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Okay.”  
“Just okay?”  
“Yeah. I mean, I have to talk to him eventually.”  
“I love you.”  
“Oh my darling, I love you.”

We finish our drive in silence, and stare in shock at the outside of our ‘apartment’ when we pull into the driveway.   
“That is not an apartment. It’s a…townhouse?”  
“I think so…I don’t know actually.”

Dad pulls into the driveway behind us, so we get out of the truck. Jax walks over to Dad’s car to get Abel and Dad walks over to me before wrapping his arms around me.  
“My poor, sweet girl. Are you okay?”  
“Yeah. They’re just bruises Dad.”  
“I don’t want Celeste to see you like this. It’ll just upset her.”  
“I’ll stay away or wear clothing that covers it. But if she shows up here, I won’t be able to keep it from her.”  
“Yeah, I’ll keep her away from here. Let’s go inside.”  
“You went overboard Dad. We only needed a small apartment.”  
“I know. Sorry kiddo. I can’t help it.”

We walk up to the front door and Dad hands me the keys. He takes us through the townhouse. It’s three floors, with a games room and theatre in the basement; kitchen, living room, dining room, office on the main floor; and four bedrooms on the upper level. There’s a small backyard with a swing set and a gate to the beach. Jax says:  
“I may have to learn to surf.”  
“Logan can help you with that.”

Dad wraps his arm around my waist and says:  
“What do you think, Veronica?”  
“It’s amazing, Dad. And Celeste did a great job decorating for us. It feels comfortable.”  
“I’m glad you like it. I’m going to take off. Maybe Jax could come by later and pick up the rest of Abel’s things?”  
“Yes. Thanks Dad.”

Dad leaves, and Jax hands Abel to me.  
“I’m going to go get clothes for you and Abel. I’ll bring as much from Keith’s as possible this trip, and we’ll head back over there tomorrow and pick up the rest.”  
“Okay. We’ll be here. Don’t get lost.”

Jax leaves and I take Abel to explore the kitchen.  
“I’m hungry, little boy. Are you hungry?”

I put him in the high chair that’s next to the kitchen island and open the fridge.  
“Ooh, applesauce. That sounds good to Mommy. What do you think?”  
Abel makes happy noises and smacks the tray on his chair.

As I sit down on a stool to feed him, there’s a knock on the door. I yell:  
“It’s open. Come in.”  
The door opens and closes, and I hear Opie say:  
“Jax? Ronnie?”  
“In the kitchen, Ope.”

I feed Abel his applesauce as Opie walks in the room.  
“Is Jax here?”  
“No. He went to pack up some of my stuff at my Dad’s. He’ll be back in a while.”  
“Ronnie…I’m so sorry baby.”  
“You said that already. That’s quite the shiner you have. That from Piney?”  
“Yeah. Pop didn’t like that I put my hands on you.”  
“He wasn’t the only one.”

He walks over to me and says:  
“Can I touch you without you killing me?”  
“Yes.”  
He strokes my hair and then puts his hand on my chin and lifts it so I’m looking up at him. He bends down and kisses me.  
“I am so sorry. I love you. I never meant to hurt you. I would never hurt you on purpose.”

Abel makes a squealing sound and smacks his tray again.  
“I agree kiddo. Uncle Opie should really stop kissing Mommy.”  
“I agree. I probably should stop. But I’m not going to.”

He wraps his arm gently around my waist and urges me up. He pulls me up against his chest and slides the hand that’s on my chin to the back of my head before kissing me again.   
“Opie…Really, you need to stop. Jax and I are engaged. He’s your best friend.”  
“I know. And that’s something we’ll have to figure out, but for right now, can I just hold you? Please?”  
“Fine. But no more kissing.”  
“I accept this.”

I step out of his arms and grab a cloth from next to the sink. I wipe Abel’s hands and face and say:  
“Can you take him?”  
“Yeah. Little man looks tired.”  
“It’s nap time. Can you change him and just put him down in his playpen in the living room?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Thanks. I think I saw a change table set up in the washroom around the corner.”

While Opie is gone with Abel I wipe down the high chair and quickly eat a container of apple sauce. I throw away the containers and wash our spoons before walking into the living room and taking off my shoes. When Opie walks in, I take Abel from him.  
“Take off your shoes, cut, and weapons and lay down on the couch.”

He does as he’s told and I put Abel down in his playpen. I walk across the room to the couch and lie down on top of Opie, resting my head on his chest. He wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head.  
“You scared me today.”  
“I don’t know what happened. It’s like I wasn’t in control of my body. The thought of Juice touching you, fucking you…It broke me. And I know that it has nothing to do with me, you’re engaged to Jax. But I am so in love with you and I just couldn’t handle it.”

He’s rubbing my back now, gently moving his hands from the base of my skull down to just above my tailbone.   
“Abel’s asleep already.”  
“He was tired. I’m sure he had a busy time with his idiot uncles.”  
“You sound tired too.”  
“I had a long night and a traumatic morning, yeah…I’m tired.”  
“Go to sleep baby. I promise nothing will happen to you.”  
“You promise? Because I love you Opie, and I want to trust you again.”  
“I love you. I promise that nothing will happen while I’m here. I will never hurt you again.”  
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep. But I will go to sleep.”

I squirm up on his chest, resting my face against his neck and breathing in his scent.  
“Ronnie…”  
“No. Don’t talk. The sound of your voice is associated with this morning. Just let me breathe in your scent, it’s calming.”

He keeps rubbing my back, and I raise one of my arms above my head to tangle in his hair at the base of his skull. My other hand is on his side, under his shirt.

“I really need to kiss you baby. Having you on top of me like this…I want you.”  
“You promised. No more kissing. Just hold me. Let me feel how much you love me. Please, Ope.”

I must fall asleep after that, because the next thing I know I can hear Opie and Jax talking quietly, but I’m still safely wrapped in Opie’s arms. I keep my eyes closed and my breathing shallow so I can listen without them realizing that I’m awake.  
“How long have you been in love with my old lady, Ope?”  
“Since the day I met her.”  
“So just as long as me then…Jesus, Opie. Why didn’t you say anything?”  
“Because I was married, with kids, and she’s so young…She’s still a kid.”  
“And yet, you want to fuck her.”  
“I don’t just want to fuck her Jax. I love her. The sex thing isn’t even normally something I think about. I just want to be near her, touch her, kiss her…Be allowed to hold her, like this.”  
“You are. You always were. You are my best friend and one of the few people my poor damaged girl trusts and loves completely. You were always allowed this. Explain today to me.”  
“The thought of Juice touching her, fucking her…it made me really angry. I couldn’t handle it.”  
“Just to clarify, if you thought it was an option, you’d want to fuck Veronica?”  
“Yes. But it’s not an option. Right Veronica?”  
“How’d you know I was awake?”  
“You started playing with my hair again when you woke up. So, is it an option?”  
“I’m not opposed to it…But Juice won’t be fucking me again, so you don’t need to worry about that. If you can handle the thought of Jax fucking me, you should be able to stay sane in the future.”  
“I can handle that. But I can hold you and kiss you?”  
“Well, Jax just said you could, so yes?”  
“I know Jax said I could. I’m asking you.”  
“Opie…Where am I right now?”  
“Lying on me with your face pressed into my neck and my arms around you…Oh.”  
“Yeah. I’m good with you holding me and kissing me.”

I kiss his jaw next to my face and stand up. As I go to walk out of the room, Jax grabs my wrist and pulls me onto his lap.  
“What do you mean, Juice won’t be fucking you again? We agreed we’d do it again.”  
“I don’t want to.”  
“Because of Opie, or because you actually don’t want to?”  
“Jax, if I hadn’t been all worked up when you suggested it last night, I never would have agreed to it in the first place. But you made the suggestion after back-to-back orgasms. I was powerless.”  
“But you love Juice.”  
“Yes. I do. But I had no intention of ever having sex with him. It’s just going to complicate things with him. He can’t separate his emotions from reality.”  
“He’ll handle it.”  
“He’s a teenage boy who has had a crush on me since we were kids. He’s away from his family and he’s feeling disconnected from the club. He’s not going to handle it well.”  
“I’ll keep an eye on him and get Chibs to as well.”  
I kiss him and stand up again. Jax hands me my phone and says:  
“Found it in the backseat. Thought you might want to turn it on and see if anyone’s tried to get a hold of you. I know you are expecting a call from Donna.”  
“Yeah. Thanks.”

As I turn the phone on, Opie sits up and says:  
“Why would Donna be calling?”  
“She said she’d let me know when she and the kids were settled.”  
“You knew she was leaving me?”  
“No. I knew she left. Past tense.”  
“Ronnie, did she leave before or after you sent the pictures of your bruises?”  
“Before.”  
“But you did send the pictures.”  
“Yes. I did. I thought she needed to know.”  
“You aren’t wrong.” 

He stands up and leaves the room. I look at Jax and he says:  
“Nope. This is all you baby.”  
“He’s your best friend.”  
“Yes, but only you can make him feel better about this…I’m not the girl he’s in love with.”  
“Ugh. Fine.”

I follow Opie out of the room and up the stairs. When I get upstairs I don’t see him, so I say:  
“Ope? Where are you?”  
“Your room.”  
“Hmm…That would be helpful if I remembered what any of these rooms were.”  
He laughs and says:  
“It’s the double doors babe.”

I open the door and find him sitting on the bed. I walk in the room and close the door behind me.  
“I’m sorry Opie. I was just so upset and I thought she should know. But she was already gone when she got my message.”  
“It’s not your fault. If I hadn’t hurt you there wouldn’t have been pictures to send.”  
“Why did she leave baby?”  
“Because she figured out that I’m in love with you. She also suspected that I hurt you and she couldn’t handle it.”

I walk over to him and sit on his lap, straddling him. I put my hands on his face and say:  
“It’ll be okay Opie. I promise. She’ll come back, she loves you.”  
“No she won’t. She’s been wanting out for years. This was just the final straw.”  
“I’ll talk to her.”  
“Don’t. It’s okay. I’m okay. It’s safer for her and the kids to be away from the Sons anyway. If I thought I could convince you to take Abel and leave I would.”  
“Well, that’s not going to happen. Practically everyone I love is a Son.”

He wraps his arms around me, slightly above my bruises on my waist. I slide my hands off of his face and into his hair.   
“Can I kiss you please?”  
“Opie, we talked about this. You are allowed to hold me and kiss me. So you don’t have to ask beforehand. I would just recommend not kissing me in front of my Dads or Kozik.”

He moves one of his hands off my back and onto the back of my head, pulling me towards him. He kisses me, pulling me closer to himself as he deepens the kiss. He slides the hand that’s on my back down and under my shirt before sliding it around to my stomach and up to my breasts. He grabs my left breast, pinching and rolling the nipple. I pull my mouth off of his and say:  
“Ope. Stop. Kissing, man. Just kissing.”  
“I just want to touch you. Then I can think about my hands on you, my fingers inside of you, instead of Juice’s. Please, Ronnie…I know you want me. I know we’ve had a rough day, but let me show you how gentle I can be with you. Not sex. We won’t even take my clothes off. Just let me touch you.”  
“No, Opie.”

I remove my hands from his hair and say:  
“Let me up, okay?”  
“Ronnie…”  
“No, Opie. Let me up.”

He lets go of me and I stand up. I walk over to the armchair in the corner of the room and I sit down.   
“Ope…We need to get something straight here…I love you, I do. Because I love you, I like having your arms around me, I enjoy kissing you. You make me feel safe. But I do not want to have sex with you right now. If this isn’t something you can handle, you need to leave.”  
“I can handle it. I’m sorry my love. I didn’t mean to overstep your boundaries. I just need to purge the image I have of Juice touching you from my brain.”  
“Here’s what I suggest…Go for a ride, find a hot chick, get laid. Stop thinking about anyone touching me…Or, go find your wife.”  
“I don’t want anyone but you.”  
“You’re having an issue controlling yourself today. I love you, but you clearly need an outlet.”

My phone rings before he can respond. I answer it:  
“Hello?”  
“Hey Ronnie.”  
“Logan. What’s up?”  
“We’re going to come over for a movie night, okay?”  
“Who is we?”  
“Me, Duncan, Mac, Wallace, Dick, and Weevil.”  
“Leave Weevil at home and you have a deal.”  
I hear Eli say:  
“Seriously V? You’re okay with Dick coming, but not me? Dick?”  
“Why am I on speaker?”  
Logan answers:  
“I didn’t think you’d have a problem with anyone coming.”  
“Fine. When will you be here?”  
“Twenty minutes.”  
“Thanks for the heads up asshole. Door’s not locked. Come in when you get here.”

I hang up and say:  
“I was serious about you needing an outlet. Maybe you and Jax should go out tonight.”  
“I don’t want to.”  
“Okay. Let me rephrase. I don’t care what you do tonight, but I think it’s best if you aren’t here when my brother, best friend, and ex find out about my injuries.”

Jax walks in with Abel and looks between Opie and me before saying:  
“What’s going on?”  
“A bunch of teenagers will be here in 20 minutes.”  
“I think Opie and I are gonna take Abel over to Keith’s for a while tonight. Kozik wants to talk to Opie anyways.”  
“Talk to, or beat the shit out of?”  
“Talk. I think. Realistically he might get punched.”  
“I think you guys going over there is a great idea. You should go now.”  
“You don’t want us here when they get here?”  
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for Opie to be here when Duncan, Logan, and Eli find out about my injuries.”  
“Fair. We’ll go now then. Let’s go Ope.”  
“I don’t get a choice in this?”

Jax and I both say:  
“No!”  
“Fine. I’ll go.”

I stand up, kiss Jax and Abel and walk out of the room. When the guys come downstairs I’m in the kitchen, making snickerdoodles.  
“Oh no. She’s baking. What’s wrong Ronnie?”  
“Nothing. Go. Enjoy your night.”

They both walk over to me and kiss my cheeks.  
“You aren’t poisoning those cookies are you babe?”  
“No. No poison. Go away.”

They leave the room as there’s a knock on the door. Jax opens the door, and as he walks out he says:  
“Hey Leo. She’s in the kitchen.”

I hear the front door close and then Leo is standing in the kitchen staring at me.  
“You’re staring Deputy.”  
“I’m trying to decide what to comment on first. The giant bruise on your throat or the fact that you are baking.”  
“I’m baking because there are a bunch of teenagers coming over and teenagers love cookies. They’re snickerdoodles by the way.”  
“You sure you aren’t baking because you’re stressed out about something?”  
“I am stressed, but I don’t want to talk about it right now…Okay?”

My phone beeps with a text message and I say:  
“Can you check that?”  
“Of course.”  
He picks up my phone and says:  
“It’s from Donna. She says that she and the kids are with her Mom for now, but she’d appreciate Opie not finding out. She also says to be careful. Just because he’s never done it before doesn’t mean it won’t happen again. And she loves you.”  
“Can you reply telling her that he won’t find out from me and not to worry about me? Also, tell her I love her and the kids.”  
“Yeah. Sent.”

He puts down my phone and walks over to me, putting his hands on my waist to turn me so I face him. I wince when he puts pressure on my bruises and his face gets dark.  
“Show me.”  
“Show you what, Leo?”  
“Show me the rest of your injuries.”  
“I’m busy baking right now, Leo.”  
“Show me.”  
“Fine.”

I step out of his arms and take my shirt off. I hear the front door open and the sounds of people coming in.  
“Ronnie?”  
“In the kitchen.”

In a low voice I say:  
“Back up and don’t touch me while they are here.”

Logan comes around the corner first. He sees me without my shirt and says:  
“Why no shirt Ronnie?”  
“Leo insisted on seeing my injuries.”  
“What injuries?”

I step around the island and walk towards Logan and the others. Duncan says:  
“Jesus Christ. Who did this?”  
“Now you’re interested in knowing things, dear brother?”  
He gets angry and steps towards me.  
“Who hurt you?!”  
I step backwards, towards Leo. Logan reaches out and grabs Duncan and whispers:  
“Bro, now’s not the time to have an episode. Calm down.”  
Eli steps forward and says:  
“Where is Jax? I’ll kill him.”  
“Jax didn’t do this. And it’s already been taken care of. It won’t happen again.”

I put my shirt back on and say:  
“I’m making snickerdoodles. If you guys want to go downstairs you can set up for movie night or check out the games room. I’m not sure what’s down there, I haven’t had a chance to explore yet.”

Mac walks over to me and wraps her arms around me gently before she says:  
“No matter what they say…If it happens once it’ll happen again. Don’t trust whoever did this.”

They all go downstairs except for Logan and Leo. Logan walks over to me and puts his hand on my cheek.  
“Who was it?”  
“Opie.”  
“Why?”  
“He got irrationally upset about something and lost it. He says it’s like he wasn’t in control of his body. Clay had to pull a gun on him to get him to let me go.”  
“So it was like one of Duncan’s fits?”  
“Kind of? He didn’t look like him…Like his eyes were wrong. But he didn’t go all comatose afterwards like Duncan does. It was just rage.”  
“What was he so mad about?”  
“I had sex with Juice…Correction, Jax let me have sex with Juice. That’s what he was more upset about.”  
“You had sex with Norris Clayton? You know the dude’s been in love with you since…forever, right? He’s not going to let that go.”  
“I know! It’s not something I would have done if I had been thinking clearly, but Jax suggested it right after I had had two orgasms and my brain wasn’t exactly functioning.”  
“So it won’t happen again?”  
“No!”

He rubs his thumb over my cheekbone and says:  
“Mac’s right. It doesn’t matter what he says. If he did this once, he’ll do it again. You can’t trust him.”  
“I know.”  
“You love him though, right? He’s one of the chosen few.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Oh, Ronnie.”  
He kisses my forehead and says:  
“I’ll go downstairs and keep Duncan and Weevil calm. I don’t understand why Wallace didn’t freak out…Even Dick was upset, I saw it on his face.”  
“I suspect that Keith warned Wallace. But Jake didn’t warn Duncan because he doesn’t want Celeste to know.”

He nods and walks away. Leo walks over to me and puts his hand on my neck, running his thumb over my cheekbone.  
“He was the big guy with Jax, right?”  
“Yes. But Leo, you can’t touch him. You can’t say anything to him. He’s a club member, I’m just an old lady. Your loyalty has to be to the club.”  
“Why? He was wrong in this case.”  
“He was wrong, but he’s the son of a founding member. You cannot do anything about this. Promise me. They will kill you.”  
“I doubt Jax would let them kill me for protecting you.”  
“If it was in the moment? Maybe not. But Clay stopped it in the moment, and Piney — Opie’s dad — punched him for it already. I don’t need rescuing at the moment. I’m okay, Leo. I promise. Now, are you going to help me make these cookies?”  
“Nope. But I’ll watch. After I do this…”

He leans in and kisses me. I relax into him and kiss him back, enjoying the feeling of being safe.   
“I hate not being able to do anything when club members hurt you.”  
“You have to show them that your loyalty is to the club, love. This wasn’t an intentional test, but it’s a useful one, at least from the club’s perspective. It’s an opportunity to show that you can put aside your love for me in order to do what is best for the club.”  
“Fuck the club.”

I kiss him again and say:  
“You cannot say that. You told Jax you were loyal to the club. That you would protect the club in order to be close to me. So you have to protect the club. You have to do what you promised you would. I know it’s hard, but I need you to stay alive. Please. You have to play by their rules.”  
“Fine. I will play by their damn rules. I will move to Charming and be away from you for a year while I prove myself to them. I will not kill Opie for putting his hands on you. I will stand by and watch while you marry Jax. But the second you decide you want out I will take you and Abel as far away from the club as we can get.”  
“Just stay alive, Leo. Please.”

He kisses me again and whispers:  
“I love you, Veronica. Please don’t trust Opie.”  
“I love you. Are you staying for movie night?”  
“I think I’ll let you have the evening with your brother and friends.”  
“Stay away from Opie.”  
“I just want to go have a conversation with Jax.”  
“No. You cannot discuss my injuries with Jax either. Stay away. Or stay here, with me.”  
“If that’s what you want. Fine. I’ll stay.”  
“Good. Now sit down and let me make cookies.”

I finish making the cookies and then Leo and I take them downstairs. When we walk into the theatre, Wallace jumps up and takes the plate of cookies from me and puts them on the coffee table before taking a cookie and shoving it in his mouth.  
“They are hot Wallace.”  
He mumbles around the cookie in his mouth:  
“Yes. They are.”  
Everyone shuffles over on the couch to make room for Leo. He ends up sitting next to Logan, so I sit on Leo’s lap and put my feet on Logan. I snuggle into Leo’s chest, putting my head on his shoulder. Eli says:  
“Why are you sitting with the Deputy?”  
“Because he’s one of four people sitting on this couch that has my fiancé’s permission to touch me. I don’t feel like snuggling with Duncan, Mac is sitting entirely too close to Dick, and I’m half on Logan’s lap already. So Leo wins by default…Plus he’s comfortable and smells good.”

My phone rings before we can start our movie, I answer it:  
“Hello?”  
“Veronica…What is this I hear about Opie hurting you?”  
“I’m fine David.”  
“That’s not what Gemma told Unser.”  
“Well, Wayne shouldn’t have said anything to you. I’m fine.”  
“I saw the pictures Veronica! You are not fine! Where is Opie?”  
“In Neptune. Which is good, apparently, because it sounds like you would have trouble controlling yourself if he was in Charming.”  
“Controlling myself? He could have killed you!”  
“You told them you were on board. That you would be a friend of the club. That means protecting club members no matter what. I’m just an old lady. You do not protect old ladies from the club. Clay and Piney already took care of it.”  
“What did Clay do?”  
“Pulled a gun on Opie to make him let me go. Kicked him out of the house. Piney punched him. It was spectacular. He has quite the shiner.”  
“Not good enough.”  
“Well, tough luck. You go after Opie and the club will kill you.”  
“What did Jax do?”  
“Nothing. They sat down and had a rational, adult conversation.”  
“I’m sorry…what? Opie put those marks on you and Jax did NOTHING?!”  
“Stop yelling at me. Are you at work right now?”  
“Yes.”  
“Give the phone to Wayne.”  
“No.”  
“David. Give the phone to Wayne.”

I can hear the phone being passed over and then I hear Wayne’s voice:  
“Hi darlin’.”  
“You need to get him under control. I’m not there to calm him down. If he goes after them for what Opie did they will kill him. They already don’t think that he’s on board for the right reasons.”  
“I’ll keep him under lock and key. Where is Opie?”  
“In Neptune. Currently with Jax and Kozik.”  
“And Kozik hasn’t killed him?”  
“Not yet. But I put nothing past him. You know how over-protective of me he is. Just get Hale under control, okay?”  
“Yeah. Bye darlin’.”  
“Bye Wayne.”

I send Jax a quick text that says: ‘We have a problem. Hale found out what Opie did and he’s losing his shit. Wayne said he’d try to get him under control, but you might need to go.’ His response comes in quickly: ‘And Leo?’ I respond: ‘Calm now. He says he won’t go after Opie.’

I put my phone away and we start the movie. Five minutes in, Eli says:  
“Wait. Pause the movie.”  
Once the movie is paused he says:  
“Did you say fiancé?!”  
“Yeah. I did.”  
“You’re marrying him?”  
“That would be the definition of fiancé, yes.”

Duncan says:  
“Jax asked Dad for permission. Dad said yes and gave him Grandma’s ring.”  
Wallace says:  
“He asked Sheriff Mars for permission too. And Kozik. They both said yes as well.”

I mumble:  
“Well, we do have a child together. It makes some sense. I’m not surprised that the Dads understand that.”

We start the movie again but about halfway through we have to pause again because Opie and Kozik walk in. Opie has more facial injuries than he did earlier, and Kozik’s hands are cut up. Opie looks at me sitting on Leo’s lap and looks hurt and confused. I stand up and walk over to him. I put my hand on his cheek and whisper:  
“Leo is my Unser.”  
He nods, so I say at my normal volume:  
“What happened to you?”  
“Walked into a door.”  
“Oh yeah? The same door Kozik beat up?”  
“Yup.”  
“Are these your only injuries or do you have broken ribs you need wrapped?”  
“These are it.”  
“Okay. Nothing looks broken. You’re bruised and cut, but just as pretty as before.”  
I kiss him on the cheek and he walks away from me to grab cookies.  
“I’m going to go to bed. Do you have a preference of room I sleep in?”  
“The one with the blue bedding.”  
“Okay. Goodnight baby.”  
“Night Opie.”

He starts to leave the room, then turns to look at me.  
“Did you hear from Donna?”  
“Yeah. She and the kids are fine. Settled in a temporary place.”  
“Where?”  
“She asked me not to tell you Ope. She’s pretty upset about this morning. Just give her some time.”  
“I didn’t hurt her. I don’t understand why she’s so upset.”  
“You lost your shit and almost killed someone she loves. She’s in the right here, babe. Go to bed.”

Once he leaves the room, I turn to Kozik.  
“What the hell were you thinking?”  
“I was thinking that he hurt the girl I love like a daughter! And out of your father figures, I’m the only one who can beat the shit out of Opie without being taken out by the club. I cannot believe you are letting him stay here! He isn’t safe for you to be near.”  
“He won’t hurt me again. He lost it this morning. He says it felt like he wasn’t in control of his body.”  
“Yeah? And tonight when Jax isn’t here and Opie decides he needs to help himself to the already weakened little girl across the hall?”  
“Jax is going to Charming?”  
“Yeah. Hale is losing his shit. It would be more helpful if you were there to calm him down, but Leo is the chosen Deputy, so you are required here. Hale’s just backup.”

Leo speaks up from the couch:  
“I’ll stay tonight. In case Opie gets any ideas.”  
“No. I will stay with my daughter tonight.”

Duncan and Logan exchange a look and Logan says:  
“We can stay with Ronnie. We’ve all slept in the same bed before. Hell, Jake refers to us as a pile of puppies. He always has. Opie wouldn’t try anything with us here.”

I speak loudly to say:  
“Excuse me! I don’t need or want anyone to stay with me. Opie will not hurt me. This morning was an anomaly. And even if we accepted the whole “if he did it once, he’ll do it again” thing, him hurting me does not mean that he would RAPE me. So we’re going to finish our movie then EVERYONE is going home.”

I turn to face Kozik and say:  
“Where is my son?”  
Jax answers as he walks in the room:  
“Upstairs in his bed.”

He walks over and kisses me and says:  
“I have to go deal with Hale before Clay kills him. Will you be okay? I’ll be home tomorrow.”  
“Of course. Go.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you.”  
He puts his lips next to my ear and whispers:  
“If the baking and the movie night doesn’t fix your stress and upset, it’s okay to fuck Opie.”

Jax looks at everyone before leaving the room.  
“No-one but my old lady, son, and best friend are staying in this house tonight. No-one.”

With the last “no-one” he looks at Leo in particular. Then he says:  
“She will be fine. Opie will not try anything. They were alone together this afternoon and nothing happened. This morning was a weird case. I trust Opie. Ronnie trusts Opie. That should be enough.”

He leaves and then Kozik follows after kissing me on the head. I curl back up with Leo and we finish watching our movie. When it’s done we turn off the tv and head upstairs where I divide the snickerdoodles into bags for everyone to take home. I stand at the door to say goodbye to everyone, Leo going last. Before he walks out the door he says:  
“I’m just a phone call away baby. You call me if you need anything.”  
“Thanks Leo. Goodnight.”

I lock the door behind him and turn out the lights before walking upstairs. The door to the room I told Opie to sleep in is open and he’s not in bed. I’m about to call out for him when I feel him behind me.   
“I couldn’t sleep. Can we cuddle? I’m not used to being alone in bed.”  
“Yeah baby. We can cuddle. Let me just check on Abel.”  
“I just did. He’s sound asleep. The monitor is on your end table.”  
“Okay. I need to shower before bed.”  
“This is going to sound sexual, but I promise it’s not. Can I join you? I just want to be near you.”  
“Yeah. That’s fine. Do you have pyjamas with you or are you sleeping in your boxers?”  
“Boxers.”  
“Okay.”

I dig through the dresser drawers to try to find my pyjamas. I finally find a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top. I throw them on the bed and take off my clothes before walking towards the bathroom.

When I walk into the bathroom I find clean towels hung up and the shower stocked with not only the coconut/vanilla shampoo and marshmallow body wash I like, but also Jax’s preferences. I shake my head and mumble:  
“Celeste misses nothing.”

I step into the shower and turn the water on to hot. Probably hotter than is strictly required, but my muscles all hurt, I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. I wash my body as Opie steps into the shower behind me. I start to wash my hair as Opie finishes washing his body and hair. He puts his hands in my hair and says:  
“Let me.”

I move my hands and let him wash my hair. I moan a little as he massages my scalp. Once he has rinsed the shampoo out he turns me around to face him. I step closer to him and stand on my toes to kiss him, putting one hand on his cheek and wrapping the other arm around his waist. I’m pressed tight against him and can feel him harden against me.  
“I’m sorry, Veronica.”  
“Stop apologizing to me. Just make me feel better.”  
“How?”  
“Make love to me. Show me how gentle you can be with me. Show me how much you love me.”  
“Are you sure, baby?”  
“Yes.”

He reaches over to turn off the shower, then he picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. He steps out of the shower and holds me in place with one hand while he grabs a towel and steps into the bedroom. He puts me down and rubs the towel over my body, drying me off before doing the same with himself. Then he picks me back up and climbs onto the bed before laying me down. He kisses me while running his hands down my chest and stomach.   
“Are you really sure?”  
“Opie…Yes. I am sure. Please.”

He holds himself above me for a moment, then his eyes turn dark before he kisses me again. He kisses down my neck and chest, stopping to give my nipples attention, sucking and gently biting them before moving further down my body. When he gets to my core he licks along the length of my slit, dipping his tongue into my entrance before circling my clit. He groans and says:  
“God you taste good. And you’re so wet already.”

He slides two fingers inside of me and pumps them while licking at and sucking on my clit. It doesn’t take long before I feel my orgasm building.  
“Opie, I’m so close…please.”  
He adds more pressure to my clit and I fall apart whimpering his name. He pulls his fingers out of me and licks them off. He moves back up my body to kiss me, swirling his tongue in my mouth. He says:  
“We can stop here if you want. You do not need to have sex with me.”  
“Opie. Fuck me.”  
“Yes ma’am.”

He lifts my legs and I wrap them around him, tilting my hips up to meet his. He slides into me and starts thrusting, deep and slow, while kissing me. I open my eyes when he stops kissing me, and I look him in the eyes as I feel my orgasm building. I can see the love he has for me, it makes me cry as I orgasm.  
“Am I hurting you baby?”  
“No. Good tears. I love you.”

I feel him jerk inside me, filling me with his come, as he says:  
“I love you. So much.”

He lowers his forehead to mine and we stay like that for a while, his cock still lodged inside me. He whispers:  
“Jax is going to kill me.”  
“No he isn’t. He told me that it was okay for me to have sex with you before he left earlier.”  
“What would have happened tonight if he hadn’t said that?”  
“I would have fantasized about you while touching myself. This was so much better than I could have imagined.”  
“Have you fantasized about me before?”  
“Yes.”  
“Like this? Tender and loving?”  
“No. My fantasies about you are always rough and fast. Never slow and loving.”  
“Give me an example.”  
“You walking into the shower after me, picking me up and fucking me against the wall, leaving bruises on my thighs where your fingers dug in as you came.”

As I’m speaking, he gets hard again.  
“I want to fuck you.”  
“Well, that’s convenient, considering your cock is already inside me.”  
“I want to be faster and rougher with you this time. Can I or are you too hurt?”

I kiss him and say:  
“Opie…fuck me.”

He growls and pulls out of me, saying:  
“Flip over.”  
I do what he says and lie on my stomach. He grabs my hips and pulls them up before slamming into me. He reaches down and rubs my clit while slamming in and out of me. I come screaming his name, and he bites the back of my neck as he orgasms. 

He pulls out of me and lies down on the bed next to me. I roll to face him and run my hand across his cheek. I just stare at him for a few seconds and appreciate how beautiful he is — chiseled jaw under his full beard; large, plump lips; beautiful green eyes, normally light, but currently dark and stormy…  
“You’re staring Veronica.”  
“Yes, I am. I’m just appreciating your beauty.”

He kisses me and says:  
“Go to sleep Ronnie.”

He puts his arm out for me to lie on, so I move over and rest my head on his chest. He wraps his arms around me and I drape my arm over this waist. Our legs tangle together and I kiss his chest before closing my eyes and falling asleep.


	7. Day Seven

I wake up a few hours later to the feeling of him sliding his cock into me. I shift my head so I can kiss him and we make love, slowly and gently before falling back asleep.

When I wake up next there’s another body behind me in bed, and a hard cock pressing against my ass. I turn my head enough that I can look at him, his blue eyes flashing. I smile, and whisper:  
“You’re home.”  
“Hale’s an idiot. And he’s in the guest room.”  
“You brought him home with you?”  
“Yeah. We couldn’t keep him calm. I thought bringing him here so he could see you might help.”  
“Maybe. I’ll talk to him later. Are you going to do something with that cock of yours or just poke me in the spine with it?”  
“I’m going to fuck you, but you need to be so quiet baby, because I do not want Hale coming in here and seeing you like this…Naked between Opie and I.”  
“I can be quiet.”

I shift my hips closer to him while still being wrapped around Opie. Jax slides into me and slightly changes his angle so he hits all the right spots. I flex my fingers on Opie’s waist and he wakes up enough to realize what’s happening and kisses me to swallow my moans and whimpers. He reaches down and rubs my clit as Jax thrusts faster. I bite Opie’s neck as I orgasm instead of screaming and Opie kisses me until Jax comes moaning my name. 

Abel starts babbling at us through the monitor and Opie gets up out of bed, pulling on his boxers and jeans.  
“I’ve got him.”  
“Thanks.”  
I roll over to face Jax and kiss him. He says:  
“I love you. So much.”  
“I love you. I’m sorry Opie was in the bed when you got home.”  
“It’s okay. I didn’t actually hate finding you in bed with him.”  
“Really? My possessive man didn’t hate seeing me naked and wrapped around his best friend?”  
“Really. I’m astounded by it too. I was thinking…Ope’s in love with you, like, as much as I am. How do you feel about inviting him to live with us? He could have his own room officially, but come and go from ours as much as he wants.”  
“I don’t know. I feel safe with him, and I certainly enjoyed having sex with him. But I like it when it’s just us too. I don’t know. Can I think about it before you mention it to him?”  
“Of course my love.”  
“Okay. You should get some sleep. I’m going to go get cleaned up and make breakfast for Abel before Opie decides that all he needs is apple sauce.”

I kiss him and climb out of bed, grabbing my discarded pyjamas before walking into the bathroom. I get myself clean and presentable for the day and pull on my shorts and tank top before heading out of the bedroom and going downstairs. As I’m walking down the stairs there’s a knock on the door. Opie walks over carrying Abel and opens the door. He says:  
“Hey…Leo, right?”  
“Yeah. You’re Opie, the asshole that put those marks on Veronica.”  
“Yeah…That’s me. If you’re going to punch me, can you wait until I put Abel down?”  
“Veronica told me I’m not allowed to punch you. That as a club member you are off limits. I’m just supposed to ignore any injuries club members give her since she’s just an old lady.”  
“She is not just an old lady. Is that what she said? That we could hurt her without repercussions because she doesn’t matter as much as the club?”  
“Yeah. That my loyalty has to be to the club and if I want to stay alive I need to ignore this stuff and not, for example, punch you for hurting her.”  
“Jesus Christ.”

I walk down the rest of the stairs and kiss Leo on the cheek before kissing Opie while taking Abel out of his arms. I walk down the hallway towards the kitchen. I put Abel in his high chair and give him a couple of cheerios and a sippy cup with some formula in it.  
“Do you want oatmeal today munchkin?”  
I turn on some water to boil and then turn on the CD player that’s sitting on the counter. I look at the CD and the title is “Lilly and Ronnie”. My eyes fill with tears and I press play. Duncan’s voice comes on saying:  
“I thought this might make you feel closer to her. All of these songs make me think about those days around the pool and the nights cuddled together on the couch watching movies…And homecoming. That was a great night. I love you little sister. I miss her too.”

By the time the water is boiling and I can add in the oats I am crying and singing along to the songs Lilly and I used to love. I make the oatmeal and while it’s cooling I cut up some peaches to mix in. I turn around to walk over to Abel to feed him and come face to face with Opie.  
“Why are you crying babe?”  
“Duncan made me a CD of all the songs Lilly and I used to listen to. I just miss her.”

He kisses my forehead and I walk over to feed Abel. As I’m feeding him I say:  
“So did the two of you come to an agreement or is it to be pistols at dawn?”  
Leo rolls his eyes at me and says:  
“An agreement. He doesn’t hurt you again and I don’t shoot him.”  
I look sharply at Leo and he says:  
“No. Don’t try that shit with me. I will protect you from club members too.”  
“That might fly with Opie and Jax, but any other club member would kill you.”

Opie says:  
“She’s right man. If it’s ever Clay who hurts her, you look the other way.”  
“Why is it different for you and Jax then?”  
“Because we’re in love with her…and so are you.”  
“You’re in love with your best friend’s fiancée? Does Jax know?”  
“Yeah. He does. Just like he knows that you’re in love with her.”  
“Is he going to kill me for it?”  
“Nope. Just remember what he told you when he was testing you. That bit about how you will never get to fuck her. He was serious about that.”

I look at both of them and say:  
“That’s enough. We have a visitor in the house and he doesn’t need to know the inner workings of my life. Leo, you need to go.”  
“But…”  
“No. He cannot see how close you are to us before you move to Charming. If he sees this, he’s going to expect it, and while I want him to protect the club, I don’t want to have to have him over for breakfast in my pyjamas.”  
“Why is he here?”  
“Jax had to bring him home. He wouldn’t chill out. Jax is hoping if he sees that I’m fine he’ll stop flipping out.”  
“Okay. I’ll go.”  
“Thank you Leo.”

He walks over to where I’m sitting and kisses me before leaving. Once Leo is gone, Opie wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me up and against him.   
“Hi baby.”  
I lean into him and kiss him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He puts his forehead against mine and says:  
“I can’t touch you while Hale is here, can I?”  
“Of course you can. You can cuddle with me, hug me, and kiss me. Nothing sexual, at least not in front of him.”  
“And I have to sleep in my own room tonight?”  
“No. Sleep with us.”  
“And Jax is okay with that?”  
“Yeah babe. He is.”

He leans in and kisses me, deep and hungry.  
“I want you.”  
“You had me three times last night. Control yourself. Go for a run or a ride or something. Go shower.”  
“Come with me.”  
“Uh…Feeding the baby at the moment, then I have to deal with Hale.”

Jax walks in the room and says:  
“Logan called. He invited us over to go swimming. Apparently Aaron is out of town.”  
“I don’t think Opie and Hale have swim suits, and I can’t find anything in the dresser upstairs.”  
“I will finish feeding Abel, you go find your swim suit and get dressed. We’ll go to the store on the way to Logan’s.”  
“I don’t get a choice in this, huh?”  
“Nope. Go.”  
“Is Abel coming swimming or are we dropping him off with a grandparent?”  
“I called Celeste. She said we could drop off Abel. I’ll drop you at Logan’s first so she doesn’t see your bruises.”  
“Thank you.”

I head upstairs and into the bedroom to search through the dresser. I finally find a pair of black shorts, a white button up short sleeve shirt and a black and pink bikini. As I’m standing up, arms wrap around me. I know immediately that it’s not Jax or Opie so I plaster on my fake flirting grin and turn around in Hale’s arms.  
“Jax told me he brought you home with him. Are you feeling better today than you were yesterday?”  
“It’s nice to see that you’re okay. Show me all the bruises.”  
“You saw the pictures, you don’t really need to see them up close and personal.”  
“Just show me.”

My phone rings on my bedside table and I squirm out of his arms to go answer it.  
“Hi Dad.”  
“Hey sweetheart. I forgot to mention yesterday, there’s an SUV in the garage, registered in your name and insured. Might give you guys some more space than Jax’s truck.”  
“Thanks Dad. That’ll come in handy today I think. We’re all going to Logan’s.”  
“Are you dropping Abel off here first?”  
“Jax is dropping me off at Logan’s, then bringing Abel to your house. We didn’t want to risk Celeste seeing me.”  
“Duncan told her about your injuries. She’d like to see you for herself to make sure you’re okay.”  
“Alright. Then we will drop off Abel on our way to Logan’s. If Duncan comes home with bruises, don’t worry about it, it’s just because I punched him for not keeping his mouth shut.”  
“Fair. Don’t hit his face.”  
“Fair.”  
“I love you sweetheart.”  
“I love you too Dad. See you in a bit.”

I hang up the phone and look at Hale.  
“David, if I show you the bruises and promise I won’t be alone with Opie will you go back to Charming? You aren’t needed here.”  
“Yes.”  
“Fine.”

I lift my shirt up and let him look at the bruises.  
“Oh, Veronica.”  
“They look worse than they are.”  
“I don’t believe you. I think they hurt.”  
“They do. But not as much as they look like they do. Honestly, I’m fine. Wayne shouldn’t have worried you.”

I put my shirt down and say:  
“So…home, yeah?”  
“Yeah.”  
He puts his hand on my cheek and leans in to kiss me. When I don’t kiss him back immediately he slides his hand to the back of my head and puts his other hand on my back to pull me towards him. He deepens the kiss and holds me in place so I can’t break it off. He finally stops kissing me and says:  
“I guess I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.”  
“Yeah.”

He walks out of the bedroom and down the stairs. I hear Jax say:  
“Going home?”  
“Yeah. Keep Opie away from her.”  
“Yeah. Okay.”

The front door closes and I run to the bathroom to throw up. I hear heavy footsteps on the stairs and I’m curled around the toilet crying when Jax enters the room. His hands are on me, rubbing my back and arms, brushing my hair back.  
“What can I do babe?”  
“I can’t do this. Him touching me makes my skin crawl. I can’t. Please don’t make me do this.”  
“You don’t have to. He won’t touch you again. I’ll take care of it.”

I stand up and brush my teeth before turning around to look at him.  
“What did he do?”  
“Nothing in particular. I just get this feeling from him that he’s intent on taking me from you even if I don’t want to be taken. I just don’t want to be near him.”  
“Okay. You and Opie take Abel to Celeste and then head over to Logan’s. I’ll meet you there after I handle our Hale situation.”  
“Be careful. Come home to me.”  
“Always.”

He leaves the room and I hear him talking to Opie in the hallway:  
“Take care of our girl.”  
“Yeah. Be careful brother.”  
“It’s a cakewalk. I’ll see you in a bit.”

I hear Jax walk down the stairs and hear Opie through the monitor, talking to Abel:  
“You hang out in here for a little bit, little man. I need to go check on Mommy.”

He walks into the bathroom and I launch myself at him. He catches me easily and I wrap my legs around his waist and arms around his neck. He holds me in place with one arm under my ass and rubs my back with the other hand.  
“My sweetheart. What did he do?”  
“Kissed me against my will. He held me in place, wouldn’t let me go. I just get the feeling from him that he’s just hellbent on taking me from Jax, even if he has to do something against my will to do it.”  
“Jax is taking care of Hale. He won’t touch you again. Tell me how I can take care of you.”  
“Make me forget the feeling of his hands on me.”  
“Slow and loving or fast and rough?”  
“Fast and rough. Make me scream Ope.”

He growls and says:  
“Your wish is my command my queen.”  
He kisses me, deep and lustful, before biting my jaw and putting me down.  
“Take your clothes off.”

I pull my shorts and tank off and watch him take his pants and boxers off while licking my lips.  
“Jesus Veronica. You’re looking at me like I’m fucking dessert.”  
“Fuck me. Please, Ope.”  
He picks me up and slams into me in the same movement, walking forward until my back hits the wall behind me. He fucks me quickly and hard enough to make me slam into the wall with each thrust. My hands scramble for something to hold onto. I tangle one in his hair, and the other scratches his back. When I look in the mirror in front of us I see that his back is bleeding, so I tangle that hand in his hair too. He leans forward and runs his teeth over the bruise on my throat, causing me to shiver. He reaches down and rubs hard on my clit, pinching it when rubbing doesn’t do it. I come with a scream and bite his neck as he comes with my name on his lips. He holds me in place for a few minutes, gently kissing and nipping at my neck and jaw.  
“I really love how that feels.”

He kisses me, all love now, with none of the lustful fire from earlier.  
“I love you so much Veronica.”  
“I love you too. Move in with us?”  
“How does Jax feel about that?”  
“It was his idea. Apparently he didn’t hate coming home to us naked and wrapped around each other in bed.”  
“Interesting…I need to talk to him before I make my decision.”  
“I figured. You should put me down so I can get cleaned up and dressed.”

I kiss him as he puts me down.   
“Can you go get Abel ready to see Celeste while I get dressed?”  
“Yeah.”

He pulls his boxers and jeans on before leaving the room. I hear him say:  
“What are you doing here Leo?”  
“I needed to talk to Veronica. The front door was unlocked. I must say, when I heard her screaming like that I expected to see Jax, not you.”

I hear him walk into the bedroom before he says:  
“Veronica?”  
“I’m in the bathroom Leo.”  
“Can I?”  
“Yeah. Come in.”

He walks in and says:  
“You’re naked.”  
“Well, I was just having sex and I need to shower, so…yeah. I’m naked.”  
“Does Jax know that you’re fucking Opie?”  
“Yeah. He does.”  
“And he’s okay with it? Jax doesn’t really seem like the sharing type.”  
“Yeah…He’s okay with it.”  
“Just Opie?”  
“Yeah, Leo. Just Opie.”  
“That’s unfortunate.”

He steps towards me and wraps his arms around my waist. I put my hands on his face and say:  
“You were here for a reason?”  
“Yeah. Hale has a sealed juvenile record.”  
“For? I mean, I assume you got more information than that.”  
“Yeah. It’s for sexual assault, Veronica. I don’t want him near you.”  
“Yeah, we already made that call love. He won’t be back.”

His arms tighten around me and he growls:  
“What did he do?”  
“Kissed me against my will. Held me in place so I couldn’t move. It made my skin crawl.”  
“Is that where Jax is?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Do you know the plan?”  
“I don’t know that Jax had one. All I know is he followed Hale when Hale left. So somewhere between here and Charming I guess?”  
“I’ll find him. I’ll fix it so it doesn’t land on him.”

I kiss him and say:  
“Thank you love…By the way, I appreciate your self control.”  
“It’s difficult, but I want you and Jax to trust me, and not being able to control myself around you like this does not help that goal.”  
“We do trust you. You’ve earned that many times.”  
“I love you Veronica.”  
“I love you.”  
I kiss him again and he walks away, out of the bathroom and bedroom and down the stairs.

I quickly shower and shave my legs before walking out to the bedroom in a towel to get dressed. Opie walks in with Abel as I’m putting my bikini on.  
“You okay sweetheart? What did Leo want?”  
“To tell me that Hale has a sealed juvenile record for sexual assault.”  
“Is he headed for Jax?”  
“Yeah. He’ll help make sure Jax doesn’t get tied to it.”  
“Did he touch you?”  
“No more than usual. Arms around my waist, a couple of kisses.”  
“Nice self control.”  
“Yeah, more than you have.”  
“You like that I have no self control.”  
“You will need to exercise some today. They don’t know we’re sleeping together.”  
“It’ll stay that way.”  
“Thank you.”

I walk over to him and kiss him.  
“Will you tie me up?”  
He visibly swallows before saying:  
“What?”  
“My bikini. Will you tie it?”  
I take Abel from him and turn around.  
“That is not what I thought you meant.”  
“We don’t really have time for that right now, but I’m not opposed to trying it.”  
“Jesus, baby. You’re gonna kill me.”

He kisses my neck as he ties the bikini. When he’s done I turn around and hand Abel back to him before putting on my shorts and shirt. I find a pair of flip flops and put them on before taking Abel back so Opie can put a shirt and shoes on. Once we’re both ready we head downstairs.  
“Dad says there’s an SUV in the garage. But I think Jax probably left his truck here.”  
“Yeah. I have his keys. I’ll drive.”  
“We have to stop at the store. Someone doesn’t have a swim suit.”  
“Oh yeah. I guess I need one of those. Jax put his stuff in the truck already.”

I grab my purse and we leave the house. I put Abel in the truck as Opie locks the front door. We get in the truck and he says:  
“Store first or drop off Abel first?”  
“The Kane house is like two streets from the Echolls house, so the store makes the most sense.”

I give him directions to the store and once he’s parked the truck I hand him some money to go buy a swim suit.   
“I have money Ronnie.”  
“But I have all this allowance Dad gives me. Makes sense to spend it and funnel the club money through the trust account.”  
“That does make sense. Okay. I’ll be back.”

Once he comes back I give him directions to Dad’s house. When we pull in the driveway, Celeste is outside. She comes up to the truck and opens my door. I get out of the truck and she says:  
“Show me sweetheart.”  
I unbutton my shirt so she can see my stomach.  
“Who did this to you my darling?”  
“It doesn’t matter. He didn’t mean to hurt me.”  
“Of course it matters!”  
“Celeste, he didn’t realize what he was doing. He just lost it. It’s like he wasn’t in control of his body. It won’t happen again.”  
“It wasn’t Jax, was it?”  
“No.”  
“Good, because I can’t bear the thought of you being in love with someone who could do this to you.” 

Out of the corner of my eye I see Opie clench the steering wheel.   
“Celeste, it wasn’t Jax who did this, but it was someone I love. He honestly did not mean to hurt me. He would never hurt me intentionally.”  
“When we have more time I’d like to sit down with you and discuss this mystery man with you.”  
“Do you want to come for lunch tomorrow?”  
“I would love that my darling.”

I get Abel out of the truck and say:  
“We’ll be back later to pick him up. Thank you for watching him.”  
“Anytime Ronnie.”

I get back in the truck and we leave the driveway. Once we are around the corner and out of sight I say:  
“Pull over.”  
He looks at me but doesn’t pull over so I say:  
“Ope. Pull over.”

He pulls over and puts the truck in park before looking at me and saying:  
“What, Veronica?”  
I undo my seatbelt and crawl across the truck until I’m in his lap. I kiss his neck and then his lips before saying:  
“I love you. I love you. I love you. I know you never meant to hurt me. I will talk to Celeste. I will make her understand.”  
“I never meant to hurt you, but I still did. I could have killed you. I was so angry and you’re so small.”  
“Opie…You never would have let it get that far. I trust you.”  
“Maybe you shouldn’t.”  
“Oh no. None of that. You are not going to start to doubt that you are amazing and wonderful and worthy of trust and love just because my step-mother made a comment without knowing all the facts. I love you. I trust you…Completely, with every part of me. Do you hear me? I trust you. Me. The girl who has serious trust issues and doesn’t actually trust anyone. I trust you.”  
“God, I love you.”

I kiss him deeply and say:  
“I love you…Now, should we go to Logan’s?”  
“Yeah. Let’s go.”

I move back over to my seat and put my seatbelt on. I give him directions to Logan’s house and then gave him the gate code when we pull up.  
“How do you know the gate code?”  
“I practically lived here from the age of twelve until Lilly died. We spent every afternoon here. And most nights.”

Once he’s parked the car we get out and I take his hand to lead him around the side of the house to the pool. I point in the direction of the poolhouse and say:  
“You can get changed in the bathroom in there.”

I walk over to the pool deck and Duncan approaches me. I punch him in the stomach and say:  
“What the hell Donut?! You told Celeste about my injuries when Dad didn’t want her to know!”  
“Why are my sisters so mean to me?”  
“Why are you such a moron?”  
“I didn’t mean to tell her. It just came out. I’m sorry.”  
“Ugh.”

I walk away from him and drop my purse next to a lounger chair before taking off my shirt and shorts. I step out of my shoes and get comfortable on the chair. Logan comes over and drips on me.  
“Come swim Ronnie.”  
“No. I wish to lie in the sun. Go away.”

Logan steps closer to me and I say:  
“Logan, I swear to God, if you throw me in the pool I will make it so you can never have children.”

I’m so focused on Logan that I don’t notice Opie approaching from the other way until he’s picked me up.  
“Opie. Put me down.”  
He whispers in my ear:  
“Sorry baby, but you need some non-sex fun.”  
Then he throws me in the pool before jumping in after me. Logan laughs on the pool deck until Duncan shoves him in with us and then jumps in.

I jump on Opie’s back and whisper in his ear:  
“I will make you pay for this you know.”  
He reaches over his shoulder and grabs me, pulling me over his head so I’m in front of him.  
“It’s called fun Veronica. I think you’ve forgotten what it is.”

Just then more people walk around the corner: Mac, Wallace, Dick, Weevil, and Meg Manning. I get out of the pool and hug Mac once she’s stripped down to her swim suit, then Meg walks up to me.  
“Veronica, Duncan told me you were hurt, but Jesus.”  
“It’s fine Meg. They’re just bruises. I’m good. How are you?”  
“Good. Duncan and I are dating now.”  
“That’s great. I’ve always liked you. Duncan needs someone good in his life.”  
“I hear you’re marrying a SoA member.”  
“I am. His name is Jax.”  
“Is that the guy in the pool?”  
“No. That’s Jax’s best friend Opie.”  
“I just assumed because of how you were playing. Sorry.”  
“It’s fine. Opie and I are close. Jax will be here later.”

Eli speaks up from where he’s been standing:  
“Opie’s the asshole who gave her those bruises.”  
“Enough Weevil. That’s not necessary.”

I turn and look at Logan and Duncan.  
“Why is he here? Why does he keep showing up? Since when are the three of you friends?!”

Duncan says:  
“I’m sorry Ronnie…I just thought…”  
“What? You thought if you shove Weevil in my face enough I’ll forget the fact that after he promised he wouldn’t leave he did? You thought I’d forget the fact that he decided he couldn’t trust me because I have a child? You thought I’d leave Jax? What Donut? What exactly was the fucking plan here?”

Duncan just looks at me quietly. I stare at him, waiting for a response of some kind. When I don’t get one I turn around, grab my clothes and pull them on before grabbing my purse and walking away.

“V! Wait up. Come on, stop.”  
“No. Go back to the pool with your new friends, Weevil.”  
“Don’t call me that. That’s not what you call me. Veronica…”

He grabs my arm and turns me around to face him.  
“Let go of me.”  
“Talk to me.”  
“I told you we were done. I meant it. I do not want to talk to you. I do not want you to touch me. Now let go of me.”

He doesn’t let go and when I try to pull my arm away he just holds on tighter.  
“I won’t let go until you talk to me.”

I see Opie coming up behind Eli and say:  
“Opie. Don’t do it.”  
He growls at Eli:  
“Let her go, now.”

Eli releases my arm and glares at Opie. Opie makes himself look larger than he already does and glares at Eli.  
“Ope…Opie. Let’s go, please.”

When he doesn’t move I step towards him and put my hand on his cheek.  
“Opie, love, let’s go home. Please.”  
He turns to look at me and I see his eyes flash angrily. I shake my head at him.  
“Don’t do it Ope. Let’s just go.”

I turn to Eli and say:  
“Go back to the pool.”  
“The last time he was angry he hurt you. I’m not leaving you alone with him.”  
“He’s not angry with me. He’s angry with you. Fuck off.”

Eli walks away and before I realize what’s happening, Opie’s mouth is on mine. He grabs my waist and pulls me tight against his body. I pull away slightly and whisper:  
“Go get changed and take me home Ope.”  
“Yeah, okay.”  
“Don’t go near Eli. I’ll be in the truck.”

I walk over to the truck and lean against it waiting for Opie. I close my eyes and try to enjoy the sun on my face.  
“Veronica Mars. It’s nice to see you back here dear.”  
“Mr. Echolls. Hi. I thought you were out of town.”  
“I was, and now I’m not. Is everyone out by the pool?”  
“Yes.”  
“So why aren’t you dear?”  
“Duncan invited my ex. I don’t want to be here with him, so I’m just waiting for my ride.”  
“Why don’t you come inside and visit for a while? I feel like I haven’t seen you in years.”  
“I actually need to get going as soon as my ride is ready to go. I have to pick up my son from Celeste.”  
“You have a son?”  
“Yes. He’s nine months old.”  
“Who is his father?”  
“Biologically or legally?”  
“Biologically.”  
“Don Lamb.”  
“The sheriff? He’s considerably older than you Veronica.”

I shrug and say:  
“I like older men. Teenagers bore me.”  
Aaron licks his lips and steps towards me.  
“Who is your son’s father legally speaking?”  
“My fiancé…Jax Teller.”  
“He’s SoA, right?”  
“Yes.”

He steps closer to me again and runs his fingers along the bruise on my neck and down the centre of my chest before saying:  
“So you like dangerous older men that hurt you? Sounds like you and Lilly share a similar taste in men.”  
“Well, you know what they say about sisters.”  
“Sisters?”  
“Oh, Logan didn’t tell you? We recently discovered that Jake Kane is my dad too, so Lilly was my sister.”

Before he can say anything else, my phone goes off in my bag. I grab it and it’s a call from Leo.  
“Sorry Mr. Echolls, I have to take this.”

I answer the phone:  
“Hey Deputy. Did you find him?”  
“Yeah. The issue was taken care of, but he was in an accident on the way back to Neptune. He’s at home, but he’s in pretty rough shape.”  
“Okay. We’ll be right there. Thanks Leo.”

I hang up and say:  
“Sorry Mr. Echolls, I need to go.”

I step away from him in time to see Opie walk around the corner. He sees Aaron and his jaw clenches. I grab Opie’s arm and say:  
“We need to go home. Jax was in an accident. Leo got him home, but he’s in rough shape.”  
“Okay. Call Kozik from the road.”  
“Why Kozik?”  
“He’s useful with a first aid kit.”  
“Oh. Okay.”  
“What about Jax’s bike?”  
“Leo didn’t say.”  
“Call him. Ask him what he did about it. If it hasn’t been picked up, get a location and call TM. They’ll take it back to Charming.”

We get in the truck and I call Leo.  
“Veronica?”  
“We’re on our way, but Opie asked me to check about Jax’s bike.”  
“It’s in a ditch.”  
“Where? I’ll get TM to pick it up.”  
“On the highway about an hour and a half outside of Neptune, heading to Neptune. Near the rest area that has all the willow trees.”  
“I know the place. I’ll call TM. Can you call Kozik and get him to come to the house to check Jax?”  
“Yeah.”

I hang up and dial the number for TM.  
“Teller-Morrow Automotive.”  
“Tig?”  
“Veronica. What’s wrong baby?”  
“Jax got into an accident. I don’t know how bad he is, but his bike needs to be picked up.”  
“Where is he?”  
“He’s at home.”  
“I’m sending Chibs to you. Kozik is good with a first aid kit, but Chibs is better. Where’s the bike?”  
“On the highway between Charming and Neptune, heading into Neptune, about an hour and half out. Near the rest area with all the willow trees. It’s in the ditch apparently.”  
“We’ll handle it baby.”  
“Thanks Tig.”

I hang up as we pull in the driveway. Leo meets us at the door and says:  
“He’s upstairs in bed. I think he needs to go to the hospital but he’s refusing.”  
“I’ll talk to him. What happened?”  
“A truck changed lanes into him. He was going too fast and lost control.”  
“Jesus.”

I go upstairs and walk into our bedroom. Jax looks at me as I walk in and says:  
“At least I was wearing my helmet.”  
“Jesus, Jax. Let me look.”  
“I’m pretty sure my arm is broken. I heard it snap when I hit the ground. Other than that it seems to just be bruises.”

I walk over to him and lift up his hoodie and shirt.  
“That’s not just bruising, Jax. That’s internal bleeding. Chibs and Kozik can’t fix this with a first aid kit. I’m calling 911.”  
“I can’t go to the hospital Veronica. I won’t be protected.”  
“Well, you can’t stay here, you’ll die. I’ll send Leo with you. He’ll stay with you while you’re there.”  
“Fine.”

I grab my phone and call 911. I tell them our address and what happened. When I hang up with them I yell for Leo. He walks in the room and I say:  
“An ambulance is coming for him. You need to follow them and stay at the hospital until I can find someone to relieve you. He won’t go unless someone is there watching.”  
“No problem.”

I dial Celeste’s number.  
“Veronica?”  
“Hi Celeste. Do you mind keeping Abel overnight?”  
“What happened? You sound upset.”  
“Jax was in an accident this morning. He has to go to the hospital and between worrying about him and making sure there’s someone to guard him, I’m just worried that I won’t be able to focus on Abel.”  
“Of course I can keep him overnight. You should call Clarence. He can assign a guard rotation for Jax.”  
“That’s a good idea. Thank you Celeste.”  
“No problem. I will bring Abel home tomorrow when I come for lunch.”  
“That sounds good, Thank you.”

We hang up and I call Clarence.  
“Miss Kane. What can I do for you?”  
“Clarence, I need a guard rotation assigned to watch Jax while he’s in the hospital.”  
“Absolutely. I’ll choose my best men. When will he be at the hospital?”  
“Soon. An ambulance is coming now. Deputy D’Amato will be with him when he gets there. He can fill you in on any details when your guard arrives.”  
“I will make sure to accompany the first shift. What happened Veronica?”  
“Motorcycle accident. A truck changed lanes into him.”  
“People really should be more careful.”  
“Yes, they should.”  
“I will handle things Miss Kane. He will not be unprotected while he is at the hospital. Do you need a guard at the house as well?”  
“No. Opie’s here. He’ll keep me safe while Jax is in the hospital.”  
“Yes…Opie Winston. We need to talk about him when you have a moment.”  
“Come over this afternoon. You know the address.”  
“I will. Goodbye Miss Kane.”  
“Bye Clarence.”

I look at Jax and say:  
“Leo is going to follow your ambulance and then Clarence will take over your protection. He’s assigning his best guards to you. You will be protected the whole time you are there.”  
“Why is Clarence coming over today?”  
“He wants to talk about Opie. He must have found something in his background check. It’s not a problem.”  
“I don’t know what he could have found.”  
“I’ll find out later. Don’t worry about it honey.”

The paramedics walk into the room and examine Jax before transferring him to a stretcher.  
“Cooperate at the hospital Jax. I love you.”  
“I will. I love you.”

They wheel him out and I say to Leo:  
“If he doesn’t cooperate, cuff him to the fucking bed.”  
“Yes my queen.”  
“Smartass.”

Once I hear the front door slam I walk into the bathroom and change back into my pyjamas from my swim suit and damp clothes. I quickly braid my hair back and go downstairs. I dig cleaning supplies out of the hall cupboard and start methodically cleaning the kitchen. Every cupboard and drawer gets emptied, scrubbed, and reorganized. I scrub the counters and the stove, and empty, scrub, and reorganize the fridge and freezer. Opie sits at the island and watches me.  
“Baby, what can I do?”  
“Just let me clean. I need to focus my brain on something other than the complete shit show my life has become.”

There’s a knock on the door, and Opie gets up to answer it. It’s Kozik and Keith.  
“Ronnie convinced him to go to the hospital.”  
“Where is Veronica?”  
“Scrubbing every inch of her brand new kitchen.”  
“Crap.”

They walk into the kitchen and Keith wraps his arms around me. As soon as he touches me I start crying, sinking to my knees on the kitchen floor. He kneels next to me, holding me and whispering comforting words in my ears.  
“Daddy…what do I do?”  
“He’ll be alright sweetheart.”  
“It’s not just Jax. It’s everything. How did this become my life? What did I do to deserve such a fucked up childhood?”  
“You have a wonderful life, surrounded by people who love you. I know it’s hard right now, but everything will be okay my darling.”  
“I never should have gone with Mom. I should have stayed with you.”  
“You don’t know that being here would have been any better my love. Different, yes. But not better. And you wouldn’t have Abel.”  
“You don’t know that. His father was Lamb.”  
“Yeah, but it you had been with me he never would have dared touch you.”  
“True. Fine. I suppose a few good things came out of me going to Seattle. I just feel so…disconnected from who I thought I was supposed to be. I miss Lilly, so much I can’t breathe sometimes. I don’t miss Mom at all, and I feel awful about that, like I should miss her…She was my Mom, but, there’s just…nothing.”  
“What are you really afraid of Veronica?”

I speak so quietly I may as well not say it at all:  
“I’m afraid of turning into Gemma.”

I feel Keith turn his head to look at Opie, and then Opie walks over and sits on the floor next to me, gently pulling me out of Keith’s arms and into his lap, wrapping his arms around me.  
“My sweet girl, you could never turn into Gemma. You have far too much compassion and love in you to ever be like that witch.”  
“You love that witch like your own mother.”  
“I love her more than my own mother. She raised me when Mary walked out. But unless you are one of the very few people she deems worthy of her love, she is cold hearted and vicious. That’s not you.”  
“Isn’t it? You saw how I treated Eli and Duncan today. How quickly I got Jax to get rid of Hale. How easy it was for me to let you guys kill Lamb. You don’t want to admit that I could turn into her because you love me, but I could.”  
“We won’t let you, my love. That’s what Jax and I are here for. To keep you, you. You can be Queen without being like Gemma. You’ll have Leo there to keep you grounded too. Everything will be okay.”

Keith stands up and leans over to kiss my head, and Kozik kisses my head as well.  
“We’re going to go. We’ll come check on you tomorrow.”  
“Okay Daddy.”  
“Opie, take care of my girl.”  
“Yes sir. Kozik, can you call Chibs and let him know Jax is at the hospital?”  
“Yeah. I’ll make sure he doesn’t come here.”  
“He can come here. We have a spare room, he’s welcome to sleep in it. I just thought he might want to check on Jax since he’s driving all the way here. We’ll leave the door unlocked for him.”

They leave and Opie gathers me in his arms as he stands up. He carries me upstairs and lays me down on the bed before changing into a pair of pyjama pants and laying down next to me. I curl into him, resting my head on his chest while he wraps his arms around me.  
“When did you get the pyjama pants?”  
“When I was at the store earlier. Figured it made sense.”  
“It does. Do you really think you can keep me from turning into Gemma?”  
“I think that Jax and I would do anything to keep you the same loving, compassionate, affectionate girl you are. That’s more difficult to do here than it will be in Charming I think.”  
“Why?”  
“Because all your trauma is here. I mean, all your non-Seattle trauma. Losing Lilly, your issues with Duncan and Logan. Eli…all of that is here.”

My phone rings on the end table and I roll slightly to reach it. It’s a number I don’t recognize, so I answer it:  
“Hello?”  
“Veronica…”  
“Donna? What’s wrong?”  
“I filed a police report to help the divorce proceedings along.”  
“You just left yesterday, you’re trying to rush along divorce proceedings? Why?”  
“Because my husband is in love with a 17 year old. That’s why.”  
“Donna…What did you report to the police?”  
“That he’s contributing to the delinquency of a minor…And sexual interference.”  
“And you what? Filed these on my behalf, or just, you know, fuck what I want as long as you get what you want?”  
“Veronica. I’m trying to save you! You could file reports against Jax too. You could be free of the club!”  
“Donna. I do not want to be free of the club, and I definitely don’t want to hurt Opie and Jax to do it. You know that those reports could make it so he could never see his kids again?!”  
“I know.”  
“When did you file these reports?”  
“First thing this morning.”  
“Jesus Christ Donna.”

I hang up the phone and call Clarence.  
“Miss Kane?”  
“The thing you wanted to talk to me about regarding Opie…Was it police reports filed by his wife this morning?”  
“Yes. Are you the minor being referenced?”  
“Yes. I want those reports gone. What do we have to do?”  
“I’ll get legal on it. We’ll make them go away.”  
“Thank you Clarence.”

I hang up and put down the phone and turn back to face Opie. He is crying, so I put my hand on his cheek, brushing tears away with my thumb.   
“Kane’s legal team is making those reports go away. We’ll fix this Opie. I promise.”  
“What did she report?”  
“Contributing to the delinquency of a minor and sexual interference. Both of which can easily be disputed.”  
“I can’t believe she’d do this to me…to you. I can’t believe she’d drag you through this. She loves you.”  
“She’s pretty upset about the whole ‘you being in love with me’ thing, so…Also, she thinks by filing reports against you and convincing me to file them against Jax too that she’s saving me from the club.”  
“All you would have to do is tell Jax you wanted out. He would walk away.”  
“I know. But Donna seems to think that I need help escaping.”

He pulls me tighter against his chest and I lean in to kiss him and then say:  
“Everything will be alright. I promise.”

He runs his fingers up my thigh, under my shorts and says:  
“I need you, Veronica. Please?”  
“Take what you need, my love.”

He kisses me and yanks my shorts down my legs, I kick them the rest of the way off before he rolls us and pins me to the bed with my arms above my head. He pulls down his pyjama pants and says:  
“Wrap your legs around me and don’t move your arms.”

I do as he says, but when he slides into me one of my hands moves from where he’s put it to his back. He growls and grabs my hand, putting it back above my head and holding both hands in place with one of his. He fucks me hard and I gasp his name with each thrust. When we orgasm it’s at the same time and we both come yelling. I hear a voice from the doorway say:  
“That was hot. Also, I can see why Keith wanted me to come do this instead of coming himself.”

I look at the doorway and see Leo.   
“Do what?”  
“Arrest Opie for assault.”  
Opie’s head collapses onto my neck and he grumbles:  
“Fucking Donna must have shown the pictures of you to someone.”  
“I’ll fix it. I love you.”  
“I love you.”

Opie turns to face Leo and says:  
“So how much of that show did you watch?”  
Leo shrugs:  
“All of it.”  
“And how are your pants feeling right now?”  
“A little uncomfortable to be honest.”  
“Good. Enjoy those blue balls.”

Opie pulls out of me and covers me with a blanket.  
“Can I get cleaned up and dressed before you take me in?”  
“Yeah.”

Opie gets up out of bed and walks into the bathroom. I hear the shower start as Leo walks over to the bed and sits next to me.  
“I don’t think you can fix this love.”  
“Why?”  
“Because it’s an assault charge based on photographic evidence. How do you explain it away? You can’t say it was an accidental injury during sex, because you’re only 17 you’re below the age of consent, so instead of an assault charge he’d end up with a statutory rape charge.”  
“What do I do Leo? I don’t want him to go to prison for this. He didn’t mean to hurt me.”  
“Get one of those expensive Kane lawyers to work their magic and get him a plea deal.”  
“There’s nothing you can do?”  
“No, baby. There’s nothing I can do.”  
“Okay. I’ll call Dad.”  
“I’ll take Opie in and then come back so you aren’t alone.”  
“Thank you Leo.”

He stands back up and walks over to the door when we hear the shower turn off. Opie walks out a few minutes later, dressed and ready to go. He leans over me and kisses me before resting his forehead on mine.  
“I love you, so much. I’m sorry I’m leaving you alone.”  
“We’ll fix this. You can expect an expensive Kane lawyer to come running to your rescue. Don’t say anything until they come, and when you are talking to the lawyer, tell them exactly what happened.”  
“My darling, what exactly did happen? What are you going to be saying?”  
“We were having a moment and we got worked up. No sex, because I’m too young to consent, but kissing. That way maybe it’s brushed off as an accident instead of assault.”  
“And I managed to leave those massive bruises on you?”  
“I’m tiny and I bruise easily. And you’re so very large and strong.”  
“Have I mentioned I love you?”  
“You have, but it’s always nice to hear it again. I love you, Opie.”

I kiss him again before Leo says:  
“We have to go Opie, and I have to cuff you.”  
“Yeah. It’s okay Leo. You’ll come back here so my girl isn’t alone?”  
“Yeah, I will.”  
“Thank you.”

Opie kisses me again, deep and loving, before he stands up and puts his arms behind his back so Leo can cuff him.

As Leo leads Opie out I pick up my phone and call Jake:  
“Veronica?”  
“Dad…I need a criminal lawyer…Well, I don’t, Opie does.”  
“Why?”  
“His soon-to-be ex-wife showed the pictures I sent her of my injuries to a cop. He’s been arrested for assault.”  
“Who took him in?”  
“Balboa County. Leo just took him in.”  
“What’s the story? The one we’re telling to try to get him off.”  
“We were kissing, we got worked up. He didn’t mean to hurt me, but I’m tiny and bruise easily.”  
“Not using sex as the cover? I saw the bruises, they could easily be explained away by rough sex.”  
“Yeah, except I’m not 18 yet, which makes him having sex with me illegal, and a statutory rape charge looks worse on his record and for his chances of seeing his kids again than an assault charge.”  
“Are you having sex with him, Veronica?”  
“Yes. But we didn’t start until after I got the bruises.”  
“Does Jax know?”  
“Yes.”  
“And he’s fine with it?”  
“Dad, do you really want to have this conversation? Because I could tell you exactly how fine he is with it if you really want to know.”  
“Will Opie be living with you?”  
“We invited him to. We haven’t had a chance to talk about it again since Jax is in the hospital.”  
“Is there a chance that my future grandchildren will be Opie’s children?”  
“I’m having sex with him, so…yes?”  
“Do you love him?”  
“Yes.”  
“Then I will do everything in my power to protect him.”  
“Thank you.”

I hang up and get out of bed before walking into the bathroom and stepping into the shower. I wash and get re-dressed in my pyjamas before going downstairs to watch a movie. Clearly Duncan had some input on the movies that were left in the house, because there are a lot of sports movies. I put on ‘Remember the Titans’ and curl up on the couch. By the time Leo gets back halfway through the movie, I’m lying on the couch sobbing into a blanket.

Leo walks in and takes off his shoes before climbing onto the couch and lying behind me. He wraps his arms around me and says:  
“It’s alright, Veronica. When I left the lawyer was there already. Everything will be okay.”  
“Is he going to get bail, do you think?”  
“The sheriff recommended bail. Jake said he’d pay it.”  
“Thank you Leo. Can you sit up so I can put my head on your lap?”  
“Are you not comfortable like this?” “I think it would be best if I not lie in your arms, Leo. It doesn’t seem fair to you.”  
“Veronica, I have zero issues with this. If the only reason you don’t want to lay like this is because you are worried about what is fair to me, then I want you to understand that it’s not an issue. I consider this as part of serving my queen.”  
“That’s not the only reason. Please Leo.”  
“Okay. I’ll move. But you need to move first. Either you stand up or I have to climb over you.”  
“I’ll stand up.”

I stand up and while Leo is changing positions on the couch there’s a knock on the door. I walk over to answer it, and it’s Chibs and Piney. I wrap my arms around Chibs and he kisses me on the forehead before walking into the living room. I look at Piney and start crying again.   
“Sweetheart…What’s wrong? Where’s Opie?”  
“In jail.”

He walks inside and closes the door behind him.   
“Let’s go sit down sweetheart. Then you can explain what’s going on.”

We walk into the living room and I look at Leo and say:  
“Leo, I’m okay now. You can go.”  
“I promised Opie I’d stay with you, so I’m not going anywhere.”

Chibs looks at him and says:  
“You’re Ronnie’s deputy, right?”  
“Yes.”  
“Well, Piney over there is Opie’s Dad, Opie would be fine with you leaving her with us, my boy.”

Leo looks at me and I nod.  
“I’m perfectly safe with Chibs and Piney, Leo. Nothing is going to happen to me with them here. Can you go to the station and be there when Opie gets bail?”  
“Yeah. Okay. That should be soon, since the victim doesn’t actually want charges filed, the sheriff recommended bail, and he has a very expensive lawyer.”  
“Yeah, well, being a Kane has its perks.”

Leo stands up and kisses my forehead before leaving the house. Piney says:  
“Sit down dear girl and tell us what’s going on.”  
“Donna showed the pictures of my injuries to a cop. She got assault charges laid against him.”  
“Why would she do that?”  
“A couple of reasons. First: she thinks I need saving. She filed several police reports about Opie, only this one has been acted on so far, I have lawyers trying to purge the others. She wants me to file reports about Jax. She is trying to ‘save’ me from the club. I told her I don’t need saving, honestly, if I wanted out Jax would let me go. Second: she’s trying to expedite the divorce. She thinks if he’s in prison it’ll be pushed through faster.”  
“She just left. Why is she in such a rush to divorce him?”  
“She’s pissed. Angry that he dared to fall in love with someone else.”

They both look at me and Chibs says:  
“So it’s true then.”  
“What’s true?”  
“That Opie is in love with you.”  
“Yeah.”  
“And Jax hasn’t killed him?”  
“No. Jax is fine with it.”  
“Do you love Opie?”  
“Yes.”  
“And Jackie boy is fine with that too?”  
“Yes.”  
“Are you having sex with Opie?”  
“Is that relevant to anything?”  
“Veronica. Answer the question.”  
“Yes. I am. And before you ask, Jax is fine with it.”

The front door opens before Chibs or Piney can say anything and Opie walks in. I stand up and run to the door and launch myself into his arms.   
“You made bail?”  
“Charges were dropped. Apparently they can’t determine how the bruises were caused and since the actual victim and the victim’s fathers have no interest in me going to prison, the prosecutor gave up.”

I kiss him and then say:  
“Chibs and Piney are here.”

I drop out of his arms and let him walk into the living room. I look at Clarence who is standing in the doorway.  
“Come on in Clarence.”  
“I just need a minute, Miss Kane. In private.”  
“Okay.”

I lead him into the office and gesture at a chair. I sit down in the other chair and say:  
“What’s going on?”  
He hands me a file folder and says:  
“You need to read this information.”  
“What is it?”  
“The statement that Donna Winston provided to the police this morning. Read it throughly, dear. I need you to write an accurate response. Do not lie, do not omit anything. Your truth is the only way we keep Opie and Jax out of prison.”  
“When do you need my response by?”  
“I will come to lunch with Celeste tomorrow. I’d like it then.”  
“Okay.”

Clarence gets up and leaves the room and the house. I open the folder and read Donna’s statement. She has included everything I’ve ever told her, plus things that she’s gleaned from small snippets that Opie has told her. None of the information is full or complete, she isn’t privy to club business, so she’s making the wrong connections. I open desk drawers until I find a pad of paper and a pen and then I start writing. I write about everything in my life from Lilly’s death onward. Going into detail about my rapes and how Kozik, Jax, and later the rest of SAMCRO protected me. I leave nothing out. When I’m done I have 15 pages of writing, and I’m crying. I put my pages in the file folder with Donna’s statement and walk out to the living room. I put the folder on the coffee table and walk into the kitchen. I pull out everything I need to make peach pie and I start baking. I see movement in the living room as Chibs stands up and Opie stops him.  
“She bakes when she’s upset or stressed. It’s better than running. At least I know where she is. Just leave her for now. She’ll come in when she’s ready.”

I say, loudly enough for them to hear me:  
“The folder is Donna’s statement. What she told the police to try to get Opie and Jax arrested. The hand written document is my response. She doesn’t know shit, and what she does know she’s made the worst of it. Go ahead and read it.”  
“How did you get Donna’s statement?”  
“Clarence brought it. He needs my response by tomorrow so he can take it to the lawyers. We’re trying to make her claims disappear before you guys actually get arrested."

Opie picks up the folder and I turn around to the CD player. I switch the CD out for one that’s less likely to make me cry than the Lilly one, turn the volume down and press play. I sing along softly as I make my pies. As I’m putting the crusts in the pans, I hear the front door open and close.  
“Ronnie?”  
“In the kitchen Duncan.”

He walks in and looks at me.  
“You’re baking pie. You must be really upset.”  
“That, and your mother is coming for lunch tomorrow.”  
“Uh huh. She doesn’t eat pie, Veronica.”  
“She’ll eat this pie, it’s amazing. No-one turns down my peach pie.”

He sits down at the island and says:  
“I’m sorry Ronnie.”  
“For?”  
“You know what for.”  
“Yes, but I’d like to hear you say it, dear brother.”  
“I’m sorry I keep bringing Eli around. I watched Lilly self-destruct and she died because of it…I just wanted to show you that you could change your mind about Jax.”  
“By throwing Eli in my face? Explain to me how Eli is a better choice for me than Jax.”

He just sits quietly and watches me slice peaches.  
“I’m waiting Duncan.”  
“I don’t have an answer.”  
“That’s because he’s not. He is the ex-head of the PCHers and he’s still trying to get control back. Both of them are dangerous people to love. But at least Jax is an adult who loves me and loves my son and would do anything to keep us safe. Eli found out about Abel and he walked away after promising me that he wouldn’t leave.”

Duncan just looks at me, so I continue:  
“He actually wanted me to justify to him why I didn’t just have an abortion. Why I kept Abel…Duncan, I know you are worried about me. And I love you for that. But I am perfectly happy with my relationship the way it is. I am marrying Jax. I do not want you bringing Eli around anymore. Please. It’s not just me you are upsetting when you do that you know. You’re hurting Logan too.”  
“How am I hurting Logan?”  
“Lilly was fucking Eli before she died. Him being around is a constant reminder of that. So think of our best friend and just stop dragging Eli everywhere.”  
“She was what?”  
“Every time she and Logan broke up she was fucking Eli. That’s why he has a tattoo of her name on his back…You know, if you had sex with him he would collect the Kane sibling set. I wonder if there’s some kind of trophy for that?”  
“He’s already got the Kane sister set. I don’t think he needs to add me to the mix…I can’t believe you fucked him after finding out he fucked Lilly.”  
“Duncan, every guy that wasn’t you fucked Lilly.”  
“Lilly did love guys.”  
“Uh yeah.”  
“She’d be so proud of you…Marrying the VP of a MC while fucking his best friend too.”  
“How did you…”  
“I was in the room while you were talking on the phone with Dad earlier. Just about gave me a fucking heart attack. What is with my sisters?”  
“I am not doing anything wrong.”  
“Really? Does Jax agree with that assessment?”  
“Yeah. He does. I didn’t do anything about my feelings for Opie until Jax told me I could. I am not cheating on him with his best friend.”

Duncan opens his mouth to speak and I say:  
“You know what, Duncan? I’m not really in the mood to bicker with you. Can you just go please? Go see your girlfriend, get laid, relax a little. We’ll talk tomorrow.”  
“I’m your brother. You can’t just shoo me away when you are bored.”  
“Uh, yes. I can. It’s my house. Get out please.”

Duncan starts to speak, but Chibs is suddenly behind him saying:  
“Your sister asked you to leave. She was very nice about it, I suggest you listen and do as she says.”  
“Fine. I’ll go.”

He gets up and leaves the house.   
“Thanks Chibs.”  
“No problem at all darlin’.”

I raise my voice slightly and say:  
“Hey, Ope? Can you go up and change the sheets in the guest rooms so your Dad and Chibs have somewhere to sleep later?”  
“Yup. I assume the clean sheets are in the closet?”  
“Your guess is as good as mine. I haven’t had time to empty every storage device and rearrange things, so everything is where Celeste decided to put it…Except my dresser. That chaos is all Jax.”

I go back to making my pies and as I put them in the oven Leo walks in.  
“I’m not staying, don’t get annoyed. I just realized that I haven’t actually seen you eat since the day before yesterday and thought you might be hungry. One’s pepperoni and mushroom and one is veggie. I wasn’t sure what everyone liked.”

He puts two pizzas down on the kitchen island. I stop and think for a minute.  
“I’ve eaten today…haven’t I? Didn’t I eat this morning while I was feeding Abel?”  
“No. You made enough oatmeal for him. You didn’t eat.”  
“What did I eat yesterday? What day is it?”  
“Okay…You need to eat, and then you need sleep. You’ve been through a lot in the past couple of weeks. I think it’s catching up to you. I talked to the hospital and Jax is doing fine. They expect him to be able to come home in a couple of days.”  
“Thanks Leo.”  
“I’m going to make a suggestion, and I hope you know I’m making it because I love you and I’m worried you are going to start to lose your mind if you don’t relax.”  
“Now I’m worried what the suggestion is.”  
“Go to Charming. When Jax gets out of the hospital, go to Charming. Stay there for a couple of weeks, relax. Be away from your idiot brother and idiot friends. Be away from Aaron Echolls, who is back in town by the way.”  
“I know he is. I had a conversation with him this morning. I think he took my statements as invitations. I’m actually a little surprised he hasn’t shown up yet. He said he wanted to catch up.”  
“Do not ever be alone with him.”  
“Duh, Leo.”  
“Are you making peach pie?”  
“Yes. Come over tomorrow after lunch and I’ll have a piece saved for you.”  
“You’re the best.”

He kisses me on the cheek and leaves the house. Chibs walks over and takes a piece of pizza as he says:  
“The cop isn’t wrong, love. You do need to relax some. If being in Charming would help, maybe you should try that.”  
“Being on the moon wouldn’t even help, Chibs. It’s not the locale, it’s my life.”

Opie comes downstairs and says:  
“We have pizza.”  
“Yeah. Apparently Leo was concerned because he hasn’t seen me eat since the day before yesterday. I don’t remember eating yesterday. I mean, I must have…but I don’t remember it.”  
“You ate applesauce. I know that much. Oh, and you ate at breakfast at Gemma’s.”  
“So the last actual meal anyone remembers me eating is breakfast yesterday? Why aren’t I hungry?”  
“Stress baby.”

Chibs pulls out a stool for me and says:  
“Sit and eat.”  
I sit down and take a slice of pizza.   
“I don’t even like pizza.”  
“Eat it anyways. You need food.”  
I eat that slice of pizza and then another before my pies are done. I take the pies out of the oven and send a text message to Corny saying: ‘I need to relax, Corny. Help a girl out.’ I get a response immediately: ‘I have something that’ll help. I’ll drop it off in five minutes.’

I say to the guys:  
“I’m going to go take a bath. One of these pies is for you guys, one is for Celeste tomorrow. Let it cool before you eat it.”

I get to the stairs before Opie walks up behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders.  
“Talk to me baby. I know you are stressed out. Tell me how I can help.”  
“There’s nothing you can do right now, Ope. I have a friend bringing me something to help me relax. Once he drops it off I’m going to go take a bath and listen to some music and hopefully in a bit I’ll be less stressed. Hang out with Chibs and your Dad. I’m okay. I promise.”

There’s a knock on the door and I answer it:  
“Hey Corny.”  
“Veronica, I brought you some already rolled. Figured you don’t have as much practice as me.”  
“You’re the best Corny. What do I owe you?”  
“Absolutely nothing.”  
“Corny!”  
“No way Ronnie. Homegrown. What’s mine is yours.”  
“Thanks Corny.”

I hug him and he walks away as I close the door. Opie hands me his lighter over my shoulder.  
“You’re going to need this babe.”  
“Thanks.”  
“Only smoke one in the tub.”  
“Ope. I grew up in Southern California. I am familiar with how to smoke pot.”

I turn and kiss him before saying:  
“I’ll be back down in a bit.”

I walk upstairs and dig through my dresser for clean underwear before opening the closet to find a sundress. I lay my clothes out on the bed before walking over to the CD player and seeing what CD is in it. It’s another burned CD, labelled with Logan’s writing this time. I press play and hear:  
“Duncan left you a CD that would make you cry, so here’s one to help you be calm and relax. Fill up the tub, smoke a joint, and enjoy.”

I let it play and walk into the bathroom to start the tub. I put some bubble bath in and walk back out to the bedroom to close the door. I take off my pyjamas, then grab a joint and light it before getting in the tub. I’m done the joint and about halfway through the CD if Logan’s verbal notes are right when Opie walks in talking on my phone.  
“Just a sec, Jax. I just walked in.”

He hands me the phone and I hear:  
“Hey beautiful.”  
“How are you feeling?”  
“Better now that Leo has uncuffed me. I hear that was your idea.”  
“He was only supposed to cuff you to the bed if you didn’t cooperate.”  
“I may have been less than cooperative when I heard that Opie was in jail and you were alone.”  
“I was only alone for a little bit. Leo came back and then Chibs and Piney got here. I’m going to come see you this evening.”  
“No, you aren’t. You have your lunch with Celeste to prep for, right?”  
“How did you know about that?”  
“Opie told me that you made pie. How stressed out are you baby?”  
“Not so much anymore. Corny brought by some top-grade relaxation medicine.”  
“Good. I’ll be home tomorrow, probably around lunch. Leo will bring me home.”  
“Do the doctors agree that you’ll be home tomorrow, or is a unilateral decision on your part?”  
“The doctors agree.”  
“Good. I miss you. I feel like I’ve spent very little time with you since we got home from Charming.”  
“There’s been a lot going on. I was thinking that we should get out of town for a few days. The four of us. Not Neptune, not Charming. Somewhere else. Somewhere we can just be us, without all the club drama and stress.”  
“You’ve been talking to Leo.”  
“Maybe. Know of anywhere we can go?”  
“Jake has a cabin in the mountains somewhere. He took us there once when we were kids. I can ask Celeste tomorrow.”  
“Okay. Are you still in the tub?”  
“Yes.”  
“So you’re naked right now?”  
“Do you know many people who take baths with clothes on?”  
“Work with me here babe.”  
“I am not having phone sex with you while you are in the hospital.”  
“So if I was somewhere else you would?”  
“Maybe. But the hospital is definitely out.”  
“I miss you. I want you.”  
“Well, I will very carefully fuck you senseless when you get home tomorrow, but I stand firm on the ban of phone sex at the hospital.”

Opie is leaning against the bathroom wall laughing so hard he’s crying. I glare at him as Jax says:  
“I love you.”  
“I love you. So much. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I hang up and hand the phone back to Opie before leaning back and closing my eyes. I hear rustling, but don’t open my eyes until I hear the shower start.  
"What are you doing?”  
“We are going to rinse those bubbles off of you and I’m going to follow Jax’s orders.”  
“And what orders are those?”  
“That you need to relax and I am not to let you out of this bathroom before I’ve given you at least three orgasms.”  
“Well, he’s not here, so he won’t know either way. You can just tell him you followed his orders.”  
“What’s wrong baby?”  
“I’m just not in the mood. I don’t really want to be touched right now.”  
“Is that the real reason you wouldn’t have phone sex with Jax?”  
“Yeah. I will rinse off the bubbles though.”

I stand up and get out of the tub before reaching in and pulling the plug and walking over to the shower. I step in and wash off the bubbles before turning off the water and stepping out to dry off. I walk into the bedroom and turn off the CD player before getting dressed. Opie walks into the bedroom as I’m trying to zip up my dress. He walks over to me and gently zips it up before removing his hands from me.  
“What can I do, Veronica?”  
“Just hang out with Chibs and your Dad for a while. I just need to be alone right now.”  
“What happened?”  
“Nothing. I just have times where I’m sadder than others. There’s nothing you can do to fix it.”

I walk over to where he put my phone down and put it in the pocket of my dress.   
“I’m going to go for a walk. I’ll be home later.”  
“I don’t want you going out alone.”  
“Opie, I love you, but please don’t think you get to tell me what to do.”  
“If Jax was here and said the same thing, would you stay home?”  
“No. I wouldn’t. I’m his old lady…Your old lady. But I’m not your property and I will make my own decisions.”

I walk out of the bedroom and Opie says behind me:  
“No shoes?”  
“Going for a walk on the beach. No shoes needed.”  
“Please be careful Veronica.”  
“I will be.”

I walk down the stairs and through the living room to the backdoor. I walk outside and through the yard to get to the beach. The section of beach that the house is on is private, so I walk in the direction of the public beach. 

————————-  
Opie’s perspective  
————————-

I follow Veronica downstairs and into the living room. I don’t want her to go for this walk alone, I don’t understand why she’s so sad. She seemed fine before…stressed, but fine. Chibs looks up at me as Veronica walks out the backdoor and says:  
“What’s going on Opie?”  
“She wants to be alone.”  
“She shouldn’t be out there by herself.”  
“Yes, but when I told her that I was informed that she loves me but I don’t get to tell her what to do.”  
“Would she ignore Jax telling her that?”  
“I asked that too. She said yes. That she isn’t our property and will continue to make her own decisions.”

I sigh and pull my phone out. I dial Logan’s number and wait for him to answer.  
“Opie?”  
“Yeah. I need your help with Veronica.”  
“What’s going on?”  
“She’s sad. She doesn’t want to be touched, she wants to be alone. She went for a walk on the beach by herself, and I’m not comfortable with her being out there alone. I thought she might be okay with you being there.”  
“The beach behind your house?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Do you know if she went towards the public end or the private end?”  
“She turned left.”  
“Okay. I’ll meet her out there.”  
“Thanks Logan.”

I hang up and look at Chibs, who is staring at me.  
“What?”  
“Is she sad for seemingly no reason?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Was she crying, or just…disconnected?”  
“Disconnected.”  
“She’s not sad, she’s spiralling into a depressive episode. Do you know if she’s been taking her pills?”  
“What pills?”  
“Her anti-anxiety and anti-depressant pills. The ones she uses to treat her PTSD? The really important pills since she hasn’t found a shrink since getting out of the hospital?”  
“I haven’t seen her take any pills. And what PTSD? When was she in the hospital?”  
“She hasn’t told you? Jax didn’t tell you?”  
“No. Why do you know this and I don’t?”  
“I don’t know kid, but you should sit down.”

I sit down on the couch facing Chibs. He takes a deep breath and says:  
“You know what happened to her in Seattle before her Mom died right, even if you didn’t before, you read all about it in her response to Donna’s complaint, right?”  
“I didn’t read her response. Just Donna’s complaint. I know the broad strokes of what happened.”  
“Okay. We’ll start at the end and backtrack if needed. When Lianne died, Veronica couldn’t handle it. It was just too much for her to process. She waited for Kozik to go to sleep and then she left the apartment. She got a bunch of pills from the prospect, then went home and took them with a bunch of gin. Her plan was to kill herself, but when the pills started working she got scared. Made herself throw up and called 911. She was in the hospital on a psychiatric hold for three days.”  
“She tried to kill herself?”  
“Yeah. While she was in the hospital she was diagnosed with PTSD due to what happened with Lamb and Lee…Mostly Lee.”  
"Why mostly Lee?”  
“How much do you know about what Lee did to her? How he got her to cooperate?”  
“She said he threatened her or Lianne on the days he actually cared about her cooperation. Otherwise he just held her down and forced her.”  
“So you haven’t noticed the scars?”  
“Scars?”  
“A few times she wouldn’t cooperate after he threatened her, so he took his knife and sliced on her. Thighs and lower abdomen mostly. Never deep enough to require stitches, but enough that it hurt her and she cooperated. Other times he would strangle her and keep her on the edge of passing out. That’s why she freaked out so much the other day with you.”  
“How long did this go on?”  
“Months. He raped her on a daily basis for months.”  
“How can she even bear to be touched after that?”

Before Chibs can answer, I hear Veronica say:  
“I don’t like to be touched by people I don’t trust. It causes me to panic.”

——————————-  
Veronica’s perspective  
——————————-

I walk over and sit on Opie’s lap, running my fingers through his hair.   
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I was enjoying the fact that you didn’t look at me like I was broken.”  
“Have you been taking your pills?”  
“Yes. They help, but they aren’t perfect, especially when I’m stressed out. Thank you for sending Logan to me. It helped.”  
“Why did Chibs know this and I didn’t?”  
“Chibs has PTSD too. I asked for advice.”

Chibs says:  
“And what did I tell you little girl?”  
“Find a shrink. Get my meds adjusted. Eat properly. Trust in the people who love me.”  
“And you’ve done…what exactly from that list?”  
“It’s been a crazy few days.”  
“I don’t care. You can’t just ignore your mental health.”  
“I know. I’ll find a shrink in the morning.”  
“And what are you going to do for the rest of the evening?”  
“Prep for my lunch with Celeste tomorrow, eat dinner…even though I’m not hungry, and watch a movie?”  
“Can we help with the lunch prep?”  
“Sure.”

Chibs stands up and says:  
“What first?”  
“Wash your hands, then cut up the asparagus that’s in the fridge.”

He walks away and Opie nuzzles his face into my neck.   
“Do you have to do your prep? Can’t you just stay here with me?”  
“The faster I get the prep done, the sooner we can be back here snuggling and watching a movie.”  
“Fine. I’ll come help too.”  
“Good. You can grate cheese.”

I kiss him before standing up and walking into the kitchen. I wash my hands and make pie crust pastry before wrapping it and putting it in the fridge. Opie grates cheese and I cut fruit up for a fruit salad. Once we’re all done I say:  
“Movie time.”

Chibs says:  
“No…Dinner time, Miss I’ve-barely-eaten-anything-in-the-past-four-days.”  
“I’m not hungry.”  
“I know. But you have to eat. I’ll make you anything you want.”  
“Ice cream for dinner?”  
“Ice cream is not dinner, little girl.”  
“Grilled cheese and tomato soup?”  
“Much better option. Go sit down. I’ll bring it to you.”  
“Thanks Chibs.”

I go into the living room and sit on the couch. Chibs sighs loudly and says:  
“Veronica. You cannot eat soup while sitting on the couch.”  
“Chibs. It’s my house!”  
“I don’t care. Sit somewhere else.”

I slide off the couch and sit on the floor between the couch and the coffee table.  
“Better, Mom?”  
“Yes, dear.”

Opie bends to kiss the top of my head and says:  
“What movie do you want to watch babe?”  
“I don’t know…Surprise me. Most of them are Duncan’s choices. Lots of sports movies, and I already watched ‘Remember the Titans’.”  
“I’ll browse.”  
He looks over the movies for a few minutes and then starts smiling like an idiot and says:  
“I found one.”  
He puts the movie in the DVD player and comes and sits on the couch behind me. He grabs the remote and refuses to turn on the TV until Chibs sits down. Chibs walks over with food and a bottle of water for me, then does the same for Opie and Piney before bringing his own over.

Once everyone is settled, Opie turns on the TV and presses play on the DVD.   
“You chose ‘Bring it On’? Are you trying to give me traumatic cheerleading flashbacks?”  
He pauses the movie while all three of them look at me. Finally Opie says:  
“I’m sorry…You were a cheerleader?!”  
“Yes. I was. I got a PE credit for it, and Lilly had too much pep, she needed a pep outlet, so we joined pep squad.”  
“Please tell me there is video of that somewhere.”  
“I think Celeste has some. It’s probably mostly Lilly though. Logan has some too, for very different reasons.”  
“And who features the heaviest in Logan’s footage?”  
“I don’t know. Lilly was his girlfriend, so probably her.”  
“What about you? Who has footage of you?”  
“Lianne did…I don’t know what happened to it. Mr. C might have some in the archives at school.”

I grab my phone and text Logan: ‘Do you still have those videos you took of the pep squad?’ He replies right away: ‘Yes. Does Opie want to watch them?’ I laugh out loud as I type: ‘Yeah…yeah he does. Can you bring them over?’ His response is: ‘Yeah. Be over soon.’

“Start the movie, Ope. Logan will be over soon with pep squad videos.”

He rubs my shoulder and neck while saying:  
“Excellent.”  
“Oh, I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”  
He leans forward and whispers:  
“I promise you won’t.”

Chibs says:  
“Little girl…Eat your dinner.”  
“You are very bossy tonight Chibs.”  
“You aren’t taking care of yourself, so I have to. Just do as you are told.”

I eat my dinner then stand up and take my and Opie’s dishes to the kitchen before coming back to the couch and curling up in Opie’s lap. He grabs the blanket off the back of the couch and drapes it over my legs. Piney says:  
“Hands on top of the blanket. Both of you.”  
“Yes, sir.”

I press my nose into Opie’s neck, and I must fall asleep, because the next thing I know, Logan is kissing the top of my head, and Chibs and Piney are getting up and saying:  
“We’re going to bed. Enjoy the videos of teenage girls.”  
Opie and Logan both say:  
“Oh, we will.”  
“The two of you are disgusting.”  
“Ah, she awakens!”

Logan says:  
“Ronnie, I feel like I should say that I was never intending for you to see these videos. Please don’t kill me.”  
“I assume they’re just videos of Lilly, I’m not worried about it.”  
Logan curls up in the corner of the couch and pulls a pillow into his lap and pulls his sleeves over his hands. Opie presses play, and very quickly we can tell why Logan was worried about me watching the videos.   
“Lo…this is all me.”  
“Yeah…it is.”  
“Are all your videos like this?”  
“Some are you and Lilly, but yeah. You’re the star.”  
“…Why?”  
“You know why, Ronnie.”

I quickly brush my lips over Opie’s neck and then climb off his lap and across the couch. I kneel next to Logan and wrap my arms around him.   
“You know I love you, right? You are my best friend.”  
“Yeah. I know.”  
“Logan…”  
“It’s okay Ronnie. I know you aren’t that girl anymore. You are my best friend too, I’m so glad to have you back.”

I squeeze him tighter and kiss his cheek before letting him go and moving back into Opie’s lap. Opie wraps his arms around me and then says:  
“Logan, can you leave these here? Jax is home from the hospital tomorrow and I know he’s going to want to see them.”  
“Yeah. I can leave them.”

I roll my eyes and say:  
“I’m surrounded by disgusting men.”  
“It’s not our fault, babe. We can’t help it, you’re just so fucking hot.”  
“Ope…I was 14 in this video.”  
“I’m trying not to think about that.”  
“Dirty old man…”  
I kiss him and stand up.  
“Where are you going?”  
“To clean up the kitchen…You haven’t had a cigarette all day, unless you’ve been sneaking off outside when I’m not looking. Do you want an ashtray? I saw one in the cupboard earlier.”  
“Yeah, babe. That’d be great. And I have been going outside.”

I grab the ashtray out of the cupboard and put it down in front of him and then go upstairs to grab his lighter and my joints. When I come back downstairs, Logan is standing at the bottom of the stairs.  
“He smokes?”  
“All the Sons do. So does Gemma.”  
“So basically, only you don’t?”  
“I do sometimes. It depends on how stressed out or drunk I am.”  
“Did Corny pay you a visit today?”  
“Yeah. Wanna join me?”  
“Hell yes.”

I walk into the living room lighting a joint. Then I throw Opie’s lighter to him.  
“Thanks baby.”

I hand the joint to Logan and start cleaning up the kitchen. He joins in and we clean up, passing the joint back and forth.   
“Are you going to hire someone to help around the house?”  
“I’m thinking about hiring Mrs. Navarro since she isn’t working for you anymore and she could use the money. I want to rent her a better house too, where she’s living has pipes that are lead and falling apart. Someone’s going to get sick.”  
“Eli would have none of that.”  
“He would not forbid me from helping his Abuela and you know it.”  
“Doesn’t mean he’ll be happy about it.”  
“I know.”

We grab another ashtray and walk back into the living room and Logan sits back on the couch where he was, putting the ashtray on the table next to the couch. I lie down with my head on Logan’s leg and my feet on Opie’s lap. We light another joint and pass it between us while we watch the end of ‘Bring it On’. My phone rings as the movie is ending and I decide to answer it when I see the caller id.  
“Hello?”  
“Veronica, my sweet girl.”  
“Mrs. Navarro. How are you?”  
“Oh, I’m fine dear. I called to find out how you are. Eli tells me he made a mistake as far as you are concerned and you broke up with him.”  
“Technically he broke up with me, Abuelita.”  
“Can you forgive him? He is moping around the house. He needs you as a friend my darling.”  
“I will consider forgiving him enough to be his friend again.”  
“That’s all I ask mi amor.”  
“Abuelita, I actually had a question for you.”  
“Yes, my darling?”  
“Would you be interested in a new job? I know it’s been a while since the Echolls let you go. It’s not much, a housekeeping position, but the house is smaller than the Echolls mansion, not that that is difficult.”  
“Would the job be working for you my darling?”  
“Yes.”  
“Then I would be delighted to accept.”  
“I don’t know how much these jobs usually pay, Abuelita…I’ve always been responsible for my own cleaning.”  
“Talk to Mrs. Kane darling, she is quite well versed in hiring help. I’m sure she will suggest something fair.”  
“I will talk to her tomorrow, and then I’ll come by and see you, okay?”  
“That would be wonderful dear. Bring that son and that fiancé of yours.”  
“I will Abuelita. Thank you.”

I hang up and notice Logan looking at me.  
“Since when are you and Mrs. Navarro so friendly?”  
“I have known her since I was seven, Logan.”

I dial Eli’s number and when he answers I say:  
“Abuelita just asked me to forgive you enough to be your friend again. Apparently you are moping around the house.”  
“I am not moping.”  
“Oh. Okay. So you don’t want to come over and get stoned with Logan and me then? We got good shit from Corny.”  
“I’ll be right there.”  
“That’s what I thought.”

I hang up and toss my phone at the table.  
“He slept with Lilly, Ronnie.”  
“Lilly’s dead, Lo. We have to move on with our lives.”  
“Fine, then I adjust my complaint. He slept with you.”  
“Yeah…’Cause no-one else has ever done that.”  
“Ronnie…”  
“No, Logan. You don’t have an issue with Jax or Opie, and both of them fuck me on a regular basis. Just because I’ve fucked Eli doesn’t mean he’s not the same guy I’ve known since I was seven. He was one of my best friends before I even met you. When he’s not being an antagonistic ass he’s actually a decent guy to spend time with. Much like a certain psychotic jackass I know.”  
“But…”  
“Logan. If it was Juice who was coming over would you have a problem with it? He’s fucked me too.”

Before Logan can say anything, Opie growls:  
“I would have a problem with it.”  
“I know, baby. I know.”  
“I have a problem with Eli being your friend too.”  
“I know…You and Jax are both a little on the possessive side.”  
“You are ours.”  
“Yes. I am. So you should trust me enough to know that I am not going to do anything to hurt you.”  
“I do trust you. But that doesn’t mean I have to be friendly to guys that have fucked you.”  
“Maybe just the two of them? Eli because he’s an old friend, and Juice because he’s your brother? You are friendly with Leo, and while he hasn’t fucked me, he really, really wants to.”  
“I haven’t even talked to Juice since…”  
“You probably should.”  
“Have you?”  
“No. I didn’t want to encourage him.”

I sit up and crawl across the couch to Opie. I straddle his lap and put my hands on his neck, running my thumbs over his tattoo.  
“My love, Eli and Juice are not threats to you. They are friends who unfortunately I have had sex with. I am yours and Jax’s. No-one but you and he get to fuck me from now on. I don’t want anyone but you.”  
“So you want me to be nice to Eli?”  
“Yes. There’s no need to be possessive and jealous. I love you.”

He pulls me tight against him and kisses me.   
“I love you. I will be nice, but if he touches you I will remove his fucking hands.”  
“Ope…”  
“I know, I know. I’m sorry.”

Logan clears his throat and says:  
“Is it strange to anyone else that two exceptionally possessive and jealous men are fine with sharing the woman they love?”  
I laugh and say:  
“Yes. It’s very strange.”  
“How is it going to work? You’re marrying Jax…Where does that leave Opie?”  
“We haven’t had a chance to talk through everything. We had a visitor, and now Jax is in the hospital.”

Opie says:  
“I’m technically married already…At least until she gets the divorce she wants.”

I run my fingers through his hair and say:  
“If I was allowed to marry both of them I would, but since I can’t…Jax is Abel’s Dad, so being legally married to him makes the most sense.”

Opie presses his face into my neck and whispers:  
“We could do a club wedding…Acknowledging that while you are Jax’s wife, you’re also my old lady.”  
“I’d like that. I want everyone to know that I’m yours.”  
“Are you going to tell Celeste tomorrow?”  
“Yeah…I mean, Jake, Keith, and Duncan already know. So it makes sense to tell her too.”

There’s a knock on the door, and Logan says:  
“I’ll get it.”  
When he comes back, he has Eli with him. Eli looks at me sitting on Opie’s lap and says:  
“Oh hell no. What the fuck is this? You are engaged to Jax, are you not? This asshole hurt you!”  
“He did hurt me, but he didn’t mean to.”

I whisper in Opie’s ear:  
“I’ll be right back. Just breathe babe.”  
I get off of Opie’s lap and walk over to Eli.  
“Come talk to me. Logan, keep Opie busy so he doesn’t go crazy.”  
“More pep squad videos it is.”

I roll my eyes and shake my head as he walks away.  
“Eli, come with me.”  
I walk into the office and close the door once he follows me.  
“Sit down.”  
“V, what the hell is going on?”  
“You realize that who I’m sleeping with is literally none of your business right?”  
“Veronica…Like a week ago you were sleeping with me. I can handle you being with Jax because he’s Abel’s Dad and he seems to really love you…But Opie? He hurt you.”  
“Eli, he hurt me because something happened that he couldn’t handle. He loves me. I love him.”  
“So, Jax is just…cool with you fucking his best friend?”  
“Nothing happened between Opie and me until Jax told me it could. We invited him to move in with us. I’m not cheating on Jax.”  
“What happened that Opie couldn’t handle?”  
“Jax and I had sex with Juice. Opie got pissed when he realized that I had sex with Juice, but he really lost it when he found out that Jax not only knew but participated.”  
“You did what?!”  
“Literally none of your business, Eli. Now can you handle this, or do you need to leave?”  
“I think I need to leave. I need to process. I’m sorry, V. I’m sorry I left after I said I wouldn’t. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me. I want to be friends with you, I just need time.”  
“Okay. Before you go though, I want to talk to you about Abuelita. Is that okay?”  
“Yeah, what about her?”  
“I offered her a job, but the main thing I wanted to clear with you was me renting her a new house. I know the pipes in the current house are lead and someone’s going to get sick. Logan said that you would have a problem with me doing that, but I love her, and Jake is insisting on giving me all this money a month, and we don’t really need it.”  
“She won’t accept you renting her a house. But you could pay her more than Celeste tells you to, and then Abuelita can rent a better house herself.”  
“Yeah. I can do that.”

He stands up, kisses me on the forehead and starts to walk out of the room before saying:  
“I love you Veronica. I just need time.”  
“I love you too. Take all the time you need.”

He walks out of the room and out of the house. When I hear the door slam I stand up and walk out to the living room. I kiss Logan on the cheek and then Opie on the lips before saying:  
“I’m going to bed. Logan, you’re too high to drive. Sleep on the couch tonight.”  
“Okay Ronnie.”

Opie grabs my wrist as I walk away and says:  
“Are you okay baby?”  
“Not really, but I will be.”  
“Do you want me to come to bed now?”  
“No. Can you unzip my dress though?”  
“Yeah babe, turn around.”

He unzips my dress and I walk upstairs. When I get to the bedroom I close the door and change into my pyjamas and one of Jax’s hoodies before climbing into bed. My phone rings as I lay down.  
“Hello?”  
“Hi beautiful.”  
“Jax…”  
I start crying and he says:  
“Oh, my baby. What’s wrong?”  
“It’s just a bad day. I miss you. I wish you were here, or that you had let me come to you.”  
“How can I help my love?”  
“Hearing your voice helps. I’m lying in bed wearing your hoodie, so that helps too.”  
“I’m sorry I’m not with you Veronica.”  
“It’s not your fault love.”  
“Is the bad day the real reason you wouldn’t have phone sex with me earlier?”  
“Yes.”  
“How do you feel about it now?”  
“Still not crazy about it. Can’t I just come see you?”  
“How many joints have you smoked?”  
“One…and then Logan and I shared two.”  
“Did you let Logan drive home?”  
“No. He’s too high for that.”  
“Veronica…If Logan is too high to drive a few blocks home, what makes you think you can safely drive to the hospital?”  
“You make a valid point.”  
“I’ll stay on the phone until you fall asleep. Put me on speaker so you don’t have to hold the phone.”

I put the phone on speaker and Jax says:  
“What was that song that makes you think of me? Can you sing it for me again?”  
I snuggle further into Jax’s hoodie, breathing his scent in before singing softly:

Through the darkness, I can see your light  
And you will always shine  
And I can feel your heart in mine  
Your face, I’ve memorized, I idolize just you  
I look up to everything you are  
In my eyes, you do no wrong, I’ve loved you for so long  
And after all is said and done, you’re still you  
After all, you’re still you  
You walk past me, I can feel your pain  
Time changes everything  
One truth always stays the same, you’re still you  
After all, you’re still you  
I look up to everything you are  
In my eyes, you do no wrong, and I believe in you  
Although you never asked me to, I will remember you  
And what life put you through  
And in this cruel and lonely world  
I’ve found one love  
You’re still you  
After all, you’re still you

“I love listening to you sing baby. I actually heard a song that made think of you today. It’s another Josh Groban one I think, from a newer album.”  
“Sing it for me…Please?”  
“I’m not really a singer babe.”  
“Try? For me?”

I hear him take a deep breath and then he starts singing:

Like the sound of silence calling  
I hear your voice and suddenly I’m falling  
Lost in a dream  
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting  
You say those words, my heart stops beating  
I wonder what it means  
What could it be that comes over me?  
At times I can’t move  
At times I can hardly breathe  
When you say you love me  
The world goes still, so still inside and  
When you say you love me  
For a moment, there’s no one else alive  
You’re the one I’ve always thought of  
I don’t know how, but I feel sheltered in your love  
You’re where I belong  
And when you’re with me if I close my eyes  
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly  
For a moment in time  
Somewhere between  
The Heavens and Earth  
I’m frozen in time  
Oh, when you say those words  
When you say you love me  
The world goes still, so still inside and  
When you say you love me  
For a moment there’s no one else alive  
And this journey that we’re on  
How far we’ve come and I  
Celebrate every moment  
And when you say you love me  
That’s all you have to say  
I’ll always feel this way  
When you say you love me  
The world goes still, so still inside and  
When you say you love me  
In that moment I know why I’m alive  
When you say you love me  
When you say you love me  
Do you know how I love you?

I’m just silent for a moment after he finishes singing…So long that he actually says:  
“Ronnie, baby?”  
“It was beautiful Jax. I love it. I think you may have found our first dance song.”  
“With Josh singing it though, right? Not me?”  
“It was beautiful with you singing it, but yeah, I probably want to listen to the professionally recorded version. I love you…So much it hurts.”  
“Oh my darling, I love you.”  
“Sing me something else while I try to fall asleep…Please?”  
“Okay.”

He takes a deep breath and starts singing:

She’s got a smile that it seems to me  
Reminds me of childhood memories  
Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky  
Now and then when I see her face  
She takes me away to that special place  
And if I stared too long I’d probably break down and cry  
Woah-oh-oh Sweet child o’ mine  
Woah-oh-oh Sweet love of mine  
She’s got eyes of the bluest skies  
As it they thought of rain  
I hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain  
Her hair reminds me of a warm, safe place  
Where as a child I’d hide  
And pray for the thunder and the rain to quietly pass me by  
Woah-oh-oh Sweet child o’ mine  
Ooh, oh-oh-oh Sweet love of mine

I can’t hold it in any longer and I start laughing.  
“What? You said to sing. You didn’t say what to sing.”  
“Guns ’n’ Roses though babe? Really? Keith would be so proud of you.”  
“Oh shut up. Go to sleep. Brat.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you baby. Go to sleep, I’ll be home tomorrow.”  
“Goodnight Jax.”  
“Goodnight Ronnie.”

I hang up and pull the hood up on the sweater, snuggling into the hoodie as much as possible, so every breath is full of Jax’s scent. Then I curl up tighter and go to sleep. When I wake up a few hours later, Opie is in bed next to me, lying on his back, the fingers of one outstretched hand barely touching my back. I sit up and take the hoodie off, tossing it on the floor before laying back down, snuggled up to Opie. I put my head on his chest and my arm around his waist. He wraps his arms around me and mumbles:  
“Oh, my baby. I thought I’d have to sleep without you all night.”  
“You could have snuggled with me as soon as you came to bed.”  
“You were wrapped up in Jax’s sweater. Made me think he was who you wanted.”  
“I wanted you both. I always want you both.”

He puts his hand on my chin and tilts my head up before kissing me.  
“I love you.”  
“Show me how much.”  
“You need sleep baby.”  
“I need you. Please Ope.”

He kisses me again and pushes me onto my back before pulling my shorts off. He pulls his pyjama pants off and gets on top of me. He runs his fingers along my core, saying:  
“You’re wet already babe.”  
“I need you.”  
He urges me to wrap my legs around his waist and then slides into me. I kiss him, tangling my hands in his hair as he slowly and gently makes love to me. We both orgasm saying:  
“I love you.”

When he pulls out, I roll onto my side and he curls around me, pulling the blanket over us.   
“Go to sleep Veronica.”  
“You’ll still be here in the morning?”  
“Oh, my baby. I’m not going anywhere until you tell me that you want me to leave.”


	8. Day Eight

The next morning I wake up early and dress for a run. I leave Opie a note on the pillow saying: ‘Went for a run on the beach. I’ll stay in the private area. Don’t worry.’

I head downstairs and wake Logan up.  
“You want to go for a run?”  
“Yeah.”

He gets up and puts his shoes on and we head outside. We do multiple laps of the private beach before deciding that we should head home. When we walk in the house, Chibs is in the kitchen making breakfast, Piney is watching the news, and Opie is reading my written response to Donna’s statement. Logan kisses the side of my head and says:  
“I’m going to head home.”  
“Okay. Bye Lo.”

I start to leave the room behind him, but Chibs says:  
“Breakfast, little one.”  
“Shower first Chibs. I’m all sweaty and gross.”  
“Fine. Make it quick. I want to witness you eat breakfast before Piney and I leave.”  
“Yes sir.”

I head upstairs and find clothes for the day before jumping in the shower. I don’t dawdle, but Chibs still looks annoyed when I get back downstairs.  
“Chibs, I didn’t even put make up on…Why so annoyed?”  
“Not you little one. I’m annoyed at the giant idiot over there.”

I look at Opie and say:  
“What the hell did you do?”  
“Not me. Pop.”

I look at Piney and then back at Chibs.  
“What’s going on guys?”  
“Club business.”  
“Yeah, that doesn’t fly. Jax has declared I get to know everything, so one of you speak.”  
Piney says:  
“Hale is dead.”  
“Yeah. I know.”  
“Is that what Jax was doing yesterday?”  
“Yeah. Leo said he fixed it so it wouldn’t blow back on the club.”  
“Oh, he did. It looks like Hale died in a tragic car accident.”  
“So what’s the issue?”  
“His brother is going to be on a rampage.”  
“It was a car accident. He can’t blame the club.”  
“It’s not so much that he’s going to blame the club, and more so that he’s fucking unstable at the best of times. We need to head back to Charming, Opie should come with us.”

Before I can say anything, Chibs says:  
“Opie should come home with us, yeah. He doesn’t have Clay’s approval to be away for an extended period of time, and we do have club stuff happening.”

Opie says:  
“I’m not leaving.”  
I walk over and curl into his lap before quietly saying:  
“They’re right babe. You should go home. The club doesn’t just pause because you are here. Jax and I are going to come back to Charming in the next couple of days anyways. We need to buy a house, and with Jax injured it makes more sense for us to be where the club is. So you head back with Chibs and Piney, and we’ll see you when we get there…Besides, you need to talk to Juice.”  
“I don’t want to leave you.”  
“I know babe. But I think it’s the best option right now. You know that you’re not going to be able to be with us all of this year when we’re here. At best you’ll be able to come back and forth, but there’s no way Clay will let you be gone for a year. You not being here doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It doesn’t change anything about what we want.”  
“Fine. I’ll head home after Jax gets back from the hospital.”  
“Fair.”

I raise my voice a bit and say:  
“He’s not leaving with you guys, but he will be heading back to Charming today.”  
“Fair enough. Come finish your breakfast little girl.”

I kiss Opie’s cheek and head back over to the kitchen island to finish my oatmeal. Chibs kisses the top of my head and says:  
“Remind him to ride safe while he’s out there alone.”  
“I will.”  
“Okay sweetheart. We’re going to head home. Call shrinks and set up appointments.”  
“I will, Chibs.”

Chibs and Piney leave the house and I clean up the kitchen before going into the living room and curling up in Opie’s lap.  
“You were reading my response to Donna’s statement earlier. Are you okay?”  
“Not really babe. Why didn’t you tell me what happened to you?”

I press my face into his neck and whisper:  
“I liked that you loved me without knowing just how broken I am.”  
“You are not broken, my love. Bad things happened to you, that doesn’t change who you are.”  
“I love you.”

We’re still sitting together a few minutes later when Jax and Leo walk in. Jax walks over to us and stands beside us, hugging Opie’s head to his chest while resting his cheek on the top of Opie’s head. Opie wraps his arm around Jax’s waist and Jax runs his fingers through my hair.

Leo clears his throat and says:  
“So this is clearly more than just Jax letting Veronica sleep with Opie.”  
Jax laughs and says:  
“You think, Deputy? You really think I’d trust Opie with Veronica if I didn’t love him too? He’s my best friend.”  
“You trusted Juice with her.”  
“No I didn’t. Juice didn’t get to be alone with her. He wasn’t allowed to touch her without me there.”  
“Ah. So Juice is trusted enough to fuck her, but only with supervision?”

I speak up and say:  
“Excuse me? Can we stop talking about me like I’m property? Now let me up, I have quiche to make.”  
Opie whispers:  
“Don’t run away baby.”  
“I’m not. Celeste and Clarence will be here soon and I have to make the quiche for lunch.”

I kiss Opie and then Jax before standing up and walking into the kitchen. Jax follows me in and wraps his arm around me.   
“How are you feeling?”  
“My arm hurts a bit, but otherwise I’m okay. What can I do to make today easier for you?”  
“I’m going to be telling Celeste about Opie…Both the fact that he’s the one who hurt me, but also, you know…everything else. You being there would be helpful because she loves you. But for now, can you just get rid of Leo? I just need a little time with just you and Ope.”  
“I can handle that love.”

He leans in and kisses me before whispering:  
“So when will Celeste and Clarence be gone so I can fuck you?”  
“Later. Opie’s leaving after lunch too. Chibs and Piney said he needs to go home.”  
“So I get you to myself for a while.”  
“Yeah, you do. Also, I think we should head to Charming tomorrow. With your bike at TM and you injured it makes more sense for us to be there for now.”  
“I agree, but I do want to take that vacation, spend some time alone.”  
“I am completely on board with that idea.”  
“Make your quiche love. I’ll get rid of Leo.”

I put my hands on the back of his head, tangling my fingers in his hair before pulling him to me and kissing him. I try to pour all of my love for him into the kiss before letting him go.  
“My darling girl, if you do that again we’re going to have to cancel your lunch with Celeste.”  
“Self control my love. Self control.”

I kiss him again and step away to get the pastry out of the fridge. Jax leaves the kitchen and says:  
“Hey, Leo? We have Celeste coming over for lunch, so we need you to go.”  
“Yeah, okay. I need to head to Charming anyway. Unser wants to sit down with me. I’ll just say goodbye to Veronica before I go.”

I shake my head as I make my quiche and Jax says:  
“Not right now Leo. She doesn’t want to be touched.”  
“She was literally just touching you.”  
“Leo, what’s the difference between you and me?”  
“She loves us both Jax.”  
“Yes, she loves you Leo. But she’s in love with me. She’s marrying me. I’m the father of her child. You and I are not on the same level.”  
“So where does that leave Opie? She’s not marrying him, he’s not the father of her child…So you and he aren’t on the same level?”

I walk over to them and say:  
“Leo, I love you, but get the fuck out of my house.”  
“I’m just trying to understand, Veronica.”  
“Okay, understand me when I tell you that you do not need to understand my relationships and we do not need to explain ourselves to you.”  
“Veronica, I didn’t mean to upset you.”  
“I get that, but it’s not me you upset. You need to go.”

I turn around and walk away from him. Towards the couch where Opie is sitting with his head in his hands. Once I am standing in front of him, I move his hands away from his face and straddle his lap, running my hands through his hair.   
“I love you. I am in love with you. Same as Jax. You know if I could marry both of you I would. You can’t let questions like this get to you. People aren’t going to understand, and they’re going to ask stupid questions.”  
“You don’t love me the same way you love Jax.”  
“Why do you think that?”  
“I heard you on the phone last night. You were having a bad day yesterday and every conversation we had was affected by it. You were off all day…Until you got on the phone with him last night.”  
“Explain, because my conversation with Jax last night started with me crying.”  
“You sang to him.”  
“So, I don’t love you as much as I love him because I subjected him to my crappy singing? If that’s all it’ll take to convince you that I love you, I can sing for you too. I have a song that makes me think of you too.”  
“You do?”  
“Yeah, babe. I do.”  
The front door closes and Jax comes and sits next to us on the couch. Opie says:  
“Will you sing it? Please baby?”  
“Fine. But I warned you about my singing.”

I take a deep breath and start singing:  
When I’m lost in the rain  
In your eyes I know I’ll find the light  
To light my way  
And when I’m scared  
And losing ground  
When my world is going crazy  
You can turn it all around  
And when I’m down you’re there  
Pushing me to the top  
You’re always there  
Giving me all you’ve got  
For a shield from the storm  
For a friend, for a love  
To keep me safe and warm  
I turn to you  
For the strength to be strong  
For the will to carry on  
For everything you do  
For everything that’s true  
I turn to you  
When I lose the will to win  
I just reach for you and   
I can reach the sky again  
I can do anything  
‘Cause your love is so amazing  
‘Cause your love inspires me  
And when I need a friend  
You’re always on my side  
Giving me faith  
Taking me through the night  
For a shield from the storm  
For a friend, for a love  
To keep me safe and warm  
I turn to you  
For the strength to be strong  
For the will to carry on  
For everything you do  
I turn to you  
For the arms to be my shelter  
Through all the rain  
For truth that will never change  
For someone to lean on  
For a heart I can rely on through anything  
For the one who I can run to…  
For a shield from the storm  
For a friend, for a love  
To keep me safe and warm  
I turn to you  
For the strength to be strong  
For the will to carry on  
For everything you do  
I turn to you  
For everything you do  
For everything that’s true  
I turn to you

Opie is crying when I finish the song, and when I glance at Jax, he is too.  
“I did warn you about my crappy singing.”  
“Oh shut up. You know that’s not why I’m crying.”

There’s a knock on the door and I get up to answer it, quickly bending to kiss both of them on my way past the couch. I open the door to find Clarence with Abel in his arms.  
“Clarence. I didn’t expect Abel to be with you.”  
“Celeste sends her regrets, but she is ill. She says she will call you later.”  
“Alright, come in.”

I take Abel from him and walk into the house.  
“I made lunch. Are you hungry?”  
“No. Thank you Miss Kane. My wife ensured I ate before I left the house.”  
“Okay. I do also have peach pie, if you’d just like a piece of that.”  
“Homemade?”  
“Yes.”  
“With ice cream?”  
“I can do that.”  
“That would be wonderful.”  
“Go ahead and sit down in the living room with the boys. I’ll bring the pie in.”

I hand Abel to Jax and walk into the kitchen. Opie follows me in and grabs me and kisses me before saying:  
“What can I do to help?”  
“Get the ice cream out of the freezer?”

I serve pie and ice cream and Opie carries two plates into the living room, passing them to Jax and Clarence. I bring the next two plates in, passing one to Opie and putting the other on the coffee table before taking Abel from Jax and sitting on the floor with him in my lap. We all eat our pie, well, Abel eats most of mine, while talking about the police reports that Donna filed.   
“The folder on the table here has my written response, Clarence.”  
“How many pages is it?”  
“Fifteen, double-sided, single spaced.”  
“That’s quite the hefty response to her complaints.”  
“You told me not to leave anything out, and quite frankly, Donna doesn’t actually know shit.”  
“Can I read this now, or is it sensitive material?”  
“It’s fine. Go ahead and read it. I had already told Jax everything, and Opie read it earlier.”

I wait for Opie to finish his pie and then hand Abel to him and say:  
“I need to make a phone call. I’ll be right back.”  
I walk into the office and close the door. I sit at the desk with a pad of paper and pen in front of me and call the number for Neptune High. When the receptionist answers I ask to speak to Miss James, the school counsellor.  
“Veronica Mars. I was not expecting to hear from you. I kind of figured I’d have to hunt you down in September when you come back. How can I help?”  
“I need to find a psychiatrist and I was hoping you might have a recommendation.”  
“Well, I’m available to talk if you need to.”  
“I might take you up on that about some stuff, but I actually need to see someone who can help figure out proper medications and dosages to treat my PTSD. So a non-school psychiatrist is needed too.”  
“Did the hospital not give you some recommendations?”  
“They did…But all of the doctors are in Seattle. Ideally I’d like someone here or in Charming.”  
“I will look into it and talk to some people I know and get a list together for you. Can I call you tomorrow?”  
“Yes. We’ll be heading to Charming tomorrow, but leave a message and I’ll call you back.”  
“Is there anything you’d like to talk through in the meantime? I hear from Eli that you are engaged to Abel’s father.”  
“Thank you Miss James, but Jax is the one part of my life that I am not conflicted about at all.”  
“Okay, well, I am here if you need me, and I’ll get that list together for you.”  
“Thank you Miss James. Do you think you could transfer me to Mr. Clemmons? I have a question for him.”  
“I can do that. I’ll talk to you soon Veronica.”

When Mr. Clemmons answers he says:  
“Miss Mars, what can I do for you?”  
“Hey Mr. C. I just wanted to find out if I could change my name on the attendance roll for September. I’m getting married in December, so my name will change then, and I thought it might just be easier for everyone if the attendance roll reflected my new name from the beginning.”  
“I suppose we could do that. What is the new last name?”  
“Teller.”  
“Teller…like, Jax Teller? The V.P of the SoA in Charming?”  
“Yes, Jax is my fiancé.”  
“Are you sure you want to marry him Veronica? You are one of my most clever students. Marrying a career criminal seems…Not like you.”  
“He’s my son’s father Mr. C. He’s a really good guy. You know me. Would I marry someone who would be bad for me?”  
“I trust your intuition Veronica, but I’d like to meet him.”  
“I have a father, a step-father, and another father figure and they all approve of Jax.”  
“I still want to meet him.”  
“Sure, I’ll bring him by the school tomorrow.”  
“Thank you.”

I hang up and walk back out to the living room. I sit next to Jax and he wraps his arm around me and kisses my cheek.  
“Who did you need to call babe?”  
“Neptune High. I was hoping the school counsellor had a recommendation for a psychiatrist. I also asked the Vice Principal if I could change my last name starting in September so it’s not confusing for everyone after Christmas…On that topic, he wants to meet you. I told him we’d come by the school tomorrow on our way to Charming.”  
“Why does he want to meet me?”  
“Mr. C is fond of me. He just wants to make sure I’m marrying a decent guy.”

Clarence speaks up without looking up from my statement:  
“Clemmons is a good educator and a legitimately decent man. He is fond of Veronica. He always was, his fondness only grew while she was gone thanks to Keith dating Rebecca James for a while.”  
“Ugh…Don’t remind me that the woman who now wants to ‘be there for me to talk about my trauma’ used to fuck my Dad. It’s just disturbing.”  
“Sorry Miss Kane.”  
“Would you please just call me Veronica? In my brain Miss Kane is Lilly.”  
“Unfortunately, I work for your father Miss Kane and he has instructed me to call you Miss Kane. If you wish to be called something else, you’ll have to discuss it with him.”  
“Ugh.”

Jax laughs and says:  
“My poor baby.”  
“Oh shut up.”

Opie stands up and says:  
“I’m going to go put Abel down for his nap and then head home.”  
As he leaves the room I kiss Jax on the cheek and say goodbye to Clarence.  
“I’ll be back in a bit.”

I follow Opie upstairs and find him in the bedroom, collecting his rings off the dresser. I put my hand on top of his and say:  
“Don’t put those back on yet.”  
“Jax is home, don’t you want him?”  
“Ope…You don’t really think that do you? That I only want you when Jax isn’t around? You are not a stand-in for him. I love you.”

He reaches over and pushes the door closed before grabbing me and pulling my shirt off. I reach over and pull his shirt off before undoing his belt and pants. I push his pants and boxers off his body and he steps out of them before undoing my pants and pushing them off. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him as he pushes my panties off and picks me up. He slides into me as he kneels on the bed and lays me down. He kisses me as we find a rhythm then runs his teeth over my jaw before whispering in my ear:  
“I love you so much Veronica. I’m sorry I’m so weird about the whole Jax thing.”  
I gasp as he hits the right spot, and I say:  
“I’m not surprised there’s weirdness, none of us have ever done this before and you’re both very possessive and jealous. But I love you, so much it hurts. I want to be with you. I know I’m marrying him, but that doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

He changes the rhythm and speeds up his thrusts. All of my muscles tighten as I orgasm and he bites my shoulder as he follows.   
“Is it weird to say that I want you to have my babies?”  
“Yes. Because I’m 17 and in high school. No more babies for me until at least university.”  
“Okay, I want you to have my babies in the future.”  
“I love you, Ope. Even when you say things at completely the wrong moment.”  
“I love you. I guess I need to go now.”  
“Yeah, but we’ll be back in Charming tomorrow.”

We get out of bed and get dressed.  
“Ope?”  
“Yeah, baby?”  
“Can you wear your cut under your hoodie? I don’t want you easily identified while you are out there alone.”  
“Yeah, babe. I can.”  
“Thank you.”

He grabs his rings off the dresser and shoves his wedding ring in his pocket before sliding his other rings onto my fingers.  
“Hold onto these for me until I see you again.”  
“Ope…”  
“It’s only one day, and I want you to remember that you are mine.”  
“Not something I’m likely to forget, love.”  
“Hold onto them anyways.”  
I kiss him and then nod as we walk out of the bedroom. When we get downstairs, Jax tosses his keys to Opie.  
“Stay at my house. I don’t expect you want to be home alone. We’ll be there tomorrow. Maybe don’t go to the clubhouse tonight. Clay’s still pissed at you.”  
“I have to go to the clubhouse. My presence has been ordered.”

I look between them and say:  
“We need to tell them about us.”  
Jax nods and says:  
“We will tomorrow when we get there.”  
“That doesn’t help Opie tonight.”  
“How do you suggest we tell them today?”  
“Opie can. Chibs and Piney already know. And Leo’s in Charming right now. He can back Opie up.”

Opie shakes his head and runs his hand over my hair.  
“We’ll just tell them together tomorrow babe.”  
“But if Clay is still pissed…What if they hurt you?”  
“I’ll take the beating. It’ll be okay.”  
“But…”  
“Everything will be okay baby.”

He pulls me to him and kisses me before letting me go to hug Jax. They wrap their arms around each other and each kiss the other’s cheek. When they let go of each other, Opie says:  
“I love you both. I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
He walks out the door and closes it behind him. I pull my phone out and sit on the stairs as I dial Gemma’s number.  
“Hi baby.”  
“Hi Gemma. Can I ask a favour?”  
“Of course. What is it?”  
“Opie is on his way back to Charming and I need you to try to convince Clay and the guys not to hurt him. We figured out our shit, and he won’t hurt me again. Jax and I will be there tomorrow, and we will explain everything to the guys.”  
“I don’t know if I can sway Clay on this baby. He’s pretty intent on hurting Opie. I will try though.”  
“Opie says he’ll take whatever beating the guys decide to give him, I just don’t want him hurt. I appreciate anything you can do.”  
“I will do my best baby. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.”  
“Bye Gemma.”

I look at Jax and say:  
“Is Clarence still here?”  
“Nope.”  
“Can you go reheat the quiche? I’m actually hungry for the first time in days.”  
“Yeah, babe. I can.”

Once he walks away, I dial Jake’s number.  
“Hi baby girl.”  
“Hi Dad.”  
“What do you need?”  
“I just wanted to let you know that Jax and I are going to Charming tomorrow. We’ll be there until Jax’s arm heals and his bike is fixed. He can’t go back and forth while injured.”  
“Okay, then I will arrange to come to Charming for a few days so we can find you a house. I know Jax owns a house in Charming already, but I looked at it and it’s unacceptable for my daughter to live in.”  
“Dad…”  
“No. You are a Kane. Stop thinking like a Mars.”  
“But I was raised a Mars. That’s just how I think.”  
“That’s not my fault.”  
“I know that Dad. I don’t blame you. I know it was all Mom. I’m just not used to having fancy things. I’m used to tiny apartments and showers that run out of hot water five minutes in.”  
“I’m going to get you a house with a pool, since you won’t have the ocean.”  
“We don’t need a pool Dad.”  
“Having a pool is good for the kids.”  
“Kids? I have one kid.”  
“For now my darling. You are having sex with two 27 year old men. I have a feeling I’m going to have more grand-children soon.”  
“Ugh…Dad…”  
“I’ll let you know when I’m coming out.”  
“Thanks Dad.”

I hang up and walk into the kitchen. I sit down at the island and Jax puts a plate down in front of me with a piece of quiche and some fruit salad. He then sits down next to me with a plate of food for himself. We start eating and he says:  
“Babe, this is really good.”  
“It’s just quiche honey. It’s not complicated.”  
“Take the damn compliment Veronica.”  
“I’m glad you like it.”

We finish eating and I say:  
“Logan brought over a DVD you might enjoy. It’s in the player.”  
“Really? Interesting…”

He walks into the living room and turns on the tv before pressing play on the video.  
“Holy shit baby…You were a cheerleader?!”  
“Yeah. Logan has like five DVDs full of footage of me and Lilly on pep squad…Oh, who am I kidding? It’s mostly me.”  
“I think I might love Logan.”  
“Ugh. That was Opie’s reaction too.”

While he watches the video, I clean up the kitchen. When I’m done I walk into the living room and curl up on Jax’s lap.  
“I love having you home.”  
He groans and wraps his non-broken arm around me.  
“Am I hurting you?”  
“No baby. It’s just the combination of you being in my arms and this video of you jumping around in a skimpy outfit…It might kill me.”  
“Dirty old man…I was 14 in this video.”  
“Fair assessment. So…Which rooms have you had sex with Opie in?”  
“Just the bedroom and the bathroom.”  
“So not here?”  
“No. The house was full of people the whole time you were gone.”  
“Get up and take your clothes off.”  
“Yes, sir.”

I stand up and take my clothes off then pull Jax off the couch and take his shirt off before undoing his pants and pushing them down off his legs.   
“Are you sure I won’t hurt you?”  
“Baby, you not fucking me will hurt me more than you fucking me. I promise.”  
“How do you want me?”  
“You’re leaving it up to me?”  
“Yeah. Tell me what you want and I’ll do it.”  
“You’re going to follow orders for once?”  
“Just once.”

He growls and kisses me before saying:  
“Kneel on the couch, put your hands on the back.”  
I do as he says and then I wait until he touches me. He runs his hand up my back, tangling it in my hair and pulling my head back so he can bite my throat.  
“Jax, please…”

He stands behind me before putting one knee on the couch beside mine. He lines himself up with my entrance and slams into me. He thrusts quickly and wraps his arm around me, placing his hand on my throat, squeezing slightly, putting pressure on the bruise that’s already there. I moan and say:  
“Harder Jax.”  
“The thrusts or the throat?”  
“Both.”  
“You want me to hurt you baby?”  
“Yes. You know what I can handle.”

He growls in my ear and squeezes my throat tighter while fucking me harder. I come screaming, and he follows me over the edge, softly saying my name. He lets go of my throat and softly kisses my neck. He sits on the couch next to me and pulls me into his lap before covering us with a blanket. He softly rubs my back and kisses me before whispering:  
“I love you so much my baby. I’m sorry I hurt you.”  
“Don’t be sorry. I asked for it and loved it. You know what I can handle and what I can’t. You have never crossed that line.”  
“Marry me.”  
“I am, remember? Christmas Eve.”  
“Let’s elope now. We can still have the big wedding on Christmas Eve, but let’s drive to Vegas right now and get married. I want to be with you.”  
“You are with me. I’m right here babe. Besides, you have to be 18 to get married in Nevada.”  
“Except with parental consent.”

I press my face into his neck and say:  
“We’re getting married Christmas Eve. If you still want to elope once I turn 18, we will drive to Vegas and I will marry you on the spot, but for now, let’s just stick with our plan.”  
“How do you feel about trying to give Abel a younger sibling?”  
“Geez…What is with you and Opie today? He asked the same thing. I want to have babies with you, I just don’t want to have two kids when I graduate from high school. Can we wait until like…second year of university to consider that? I mean, Abel’s only nine months old.”

He kisses me and runs his hand over my stomach.  
“I just really loved you being pregnant…But I get not wanting to go through senior year pregnant.”  
“Well, I’m glad someone loved me being pregnant. Did you conveniently forget how sick I was?”  
“Yes. I just remember the good bits.”  
“And aside from Abel, what would the good bits be?”  
“Your body grew a human, babe. It was amazing.”  
“That would be the Abel part I mentioned.”  
“Your anti-anxiety pills and your anti-depressants don’t mess with your birth control?”  
“The doctors at the hospital made sure there was no known interactions between them and my implant. Everything should be working properly.”

There’s a knock on the door and then it opens. I hear someone walk in and then the door closes again. Logan walks in the room, followed by Duncan, Dick, and Cassidy.   
“Uh, guys? Maybe we need to have a conversation about you just walking into our house. Can you go back outside and give us like…five minutes to put clothes on?”

Duncan and Cassidy immediately turn around and walk out. Logan and Dick don’t. Jax says:  
“Get out or you’ll start losing body parts.”  
Logan turns to leave, but Dick says:  
“If I get to see Ronnie naked it might be worth it.”  
“Richard. Get the fuck out.”  
“You just got laid, you should be more fun than this.”  
Jax growls:  
“The first body part I remove will be your cock, Dick.”  
Dick looks scared as he leaves the room. I bury my face in Jax’s neck and say:  
“I hate teenage boys.”

I stand up and pull my clothes back on and Jax does the same. I kiss him before walking over to the front door and opening it. I stand in the doorway and Duncan says:  
“Are you going to let us in?”  
“Uh. No. First we’re going to have a lesson about arriving at people’s houses. I’m going to close the door, you are going to knock, then you are going to wait for me to open the door and invite you in before you enter the house. It’s complicated, but I have full faith in almost all of you to be able to figure it out.”  
“Almost all?”  
“It might be too complicated for Dick to handle.”  
“We don’t need to practice.”  
“I think we do. Every time you’ve been here you’ve just walked right in. If you had been five minutes earlier you would have walked on something you can’t unsee, dear brother.”

Dick pipes up saying:  
“I wouldn’t have minded walking in on that.”  
“Ugh.”

I step back into the house and close the door. Jax walks up behind me, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my neck. There’s a knock on the door and Jax reaches past me to open it. He whispers in my ear:  
“Do we want to spend time with your brother and his idiot friends?”  
“I suppose.”

Abel starts crying upstairs and Jax says:  
“I’ll get him. You deal with the teenage boys.”  
“Gee…Thanks babe.”  
Jax starts to walk away and I say:  
“Can you even get him and change him with your arm fucked up?”  
“Don’t worry babe. I can handle one small baby.”

I roll my eyes at his back and say to the guys:  
“Come on in.”  
As they are walking in Meg appears behind them. I smile at her and say:  
“Hi Meg. Come on in.”  
“I didn’t know the guys would be here. I just needed to talk to you.”  
“Well, come in.”

I look at the guys as Meg closes the door.  
“You guys go downstairs. Pick a movie. Meg and I will be down in a bit.”  
I take Meg’s hand and lead her upstairs. I walk into Abel’s room and take him out of Jax’s arms before kissing Jax.  
“The boys are in the basement. Go supervise them while they pick a movie.”  
“And what are you doing?”  
“Meg and I need to have some girl talk. Go away.”

He walks downstairs and I lead Meg into my bedroom.  
“Sit. Talk. What’s up?”  
We both sit on the bed and she takes Abel from me before talking.  
“Do you ever see Lilly?”  
“Yeah. All the time.”  
“I saw her last night. She was in my room, sitting on the edge of my bed. She put her hand on my stomach and said: ‘Lilly is a good name for a girl…Just saying.’ It freaked me out, so I stopped at the drugstore this morning on the way to school. Can I take a test now? Will you hold my hand while I wait for the results?”  
“Of course, Meg.”

As Meg passes Abel back to me and walks into the bathroom, I see Lilly sitting in the chair in the corner.  
“She’s not the only one who should take a test, little sister.”  
“I have a birth control implant Lils.”  
“It failed. Take the test. She bought the super early detection ones. It should work.”  
“How long?”  
“About a week love.”  
“Who’s?”  
“Jax…Don’t worry my sweet.”

Meg walks out of the bathroom and I say:  
“Did you buy more than one of those?”  
“Yeah. Why?”  
“Lilly informs me that I should take one.”  
“The second test is on the counter.”  
“Thanks Meg.”

I hand Abel to Meg and walk into the bathroom. I take the test and walk back out to the bedroom. Meg and I sit side by side, with Abel lying in the middle of the bed. We hold hands until the timer on Meg’s phone goes off, then she goes to look at her test. She walks out with both tests in her hands.  
“Veronica?”  
“What? Is it positive?”  
“They both are.”  
“Oh shit. What do we do?”  
“I guess we tell the guys.”  
“Crap. Okay. Let’s go.”

I pick up Abel and Meg and I walk hand-in-hand downstairs. We enter the theatre and I say:  
“Lo, why don’t you take Dick and Cassidy upstairs to find snacks? We need to talk to Jax and Duncan for a minute.”

Logan looks confused for a second, but then says:  
“…okay.”  
Once they leave the room, Jax says:  
“What’s going on babe?”

I squeeze Meg’s hand and we both say at the same time:  
“I’m pregnant.”

Jax gets up from the couch and walks over to me.  
“Babe, we just talked about having another baby. You said no. What made you take a test?”  
“Lilly. She’s why Meg took a test too. She told us both that we were pregnant.”  
“Did she tell you who?”  
I put my hand on his chest and say:  
“She said it was you babe.”  
“So, Thomas then? Since she already talked about him?”  
“I would assume so.”

He kisses me and then whispers:  
“Your brother seems to be having an issue.”  
“I’ll talk to him. Can you sit with Abel and Meg?”  
“Yeah.”  
He takes Abel from me and puts his broken arm behind Meg’s back.  
“Come on sweetheart.”

I walk over to Duncan and sit on the coffee table in front of him. I grab his hands and say:  
“Duncan? Are you okay?”  
He looks up at me and says:  
“I can’t be a Dad, Ronnie. I can barely take care of myself.”  
“You will be fine, also, Meg is amazing.”  
He leans closer to me and whispers:  
“Her parents are abusive and crazy religious and there is no way they’ll let us keep the baby.”  
“You’re both 18.”  
“So?”  
“So…get married, dumbass.”  
“And just stay in Neptune, where her parents are?”  
“Duncan, you are a Kane. You could move literally anywhere in the world you want. What’s the real issue here?”  
“My epilepsy causes me to have rage filled fits. I don’t think I can safely raise a child.”  
“You’ll take your pills. Everything will be okay, Duncan. If you are really worried about it, move to Charming so you have us and Logan there too.”  
“You’ll help us?”  
“Duncan, you are my brother. Which makes Meg family. Of course we’ll help. Now, stop freaking the fuck out and go talk to your girlfriend.”

He stands up and pulls me up with him, wrapping his arms around me.  
“Thanks sister. I love you.”  
“I love you. Go.”

He walks over to Meg and Jax comes over to me. He puts Abel on my lap and wraps his arm around me.  
“I love you.”  
“I love you. Not thrilled about being pregnant through my senior year, but at least I won’t be alone.”  
“We need to call Opie.”  
“No. We’ll tell him in person tomorrow.”  
“Babe…”  
“No. It’s not fair to him to tell him when he’s so far away and still has to deal with the guys tonight without us.”  
“He’s going to be pissed he wasn’t here when we found out.”  
“Probably. He’ll get to be there for all those months I’m sick though, so, you know. He has that to look forward to.”  
“You don’t know you’ll be sick the whole time this time.”  
“You don’t know I won’t be.”  
“So pessimistic my love.”  
He kisses the side of my head as Meg comes and sits next to me with Duncan on her other side. She takes my hand, intertwining our fingers.   
“Duncan and I are getting married. When are you 18?”  
“August.”  
“Good. On your 18th birthday the four of us are going to Vegas. We’ll witness your marriage and you can witness ours.”  
“Bossy.”  
“Yes. Please Ronnie? Please, please?”

Jax whispers in my ear:  
“Yeah, Ronnie. Please, please?”  
“Ugh. The two of you are incorrigible. Fine.”

Meg squeals and hugs me before saying:  
“Yay!”  
I put my head on her shoulder and say:  
“I bet no-one would have suspected that Meg Manning and Veronica Mars would spend their senior year of high school married and pregnant.”  
Meg laughs and says:  
“Yeah, probably not.”

Meg and I are still holding hands and laughing when Logan, Dick, and Cassidy walk in. Logan looks at us and says:  
“Feel like sharing with the class?”  
Meg and I look at each other and say in unison:  
“Not really.”

Logan looks hurt so I reach out for him. He takes my hand and leans over Jax so I can whisper in his ear:  
“We’ll tell you later, Lo. I promise.”  
I kiss his cheek and say louder:  
“Did you idiots pick a movie?”  
“Yeah, we did.”  
“Well, let’s start it.”

Jax takes Abel from me and says:  
“I’m going to go feed him. The last thing he ate was all of his Mommy’s pie.”  
“Oh, speaking of pie…Remind me to make another one tonight before we leave for Charming in the morning. I promised Leo a piece and then Unser called him away.”  
“I hate to encourage you to bake more than a stressed out Veronica already bakes, but you should make two. I’m sure the guys would all appreciate it.”  
“You’re lucky I love you.”  
He leans over and kisses me.  
“I am completely aware of that my sweet.”

He walks out of the room and Logan sits in the spot Jax was just in. He presses play on the movie and I say:  
“Die Hard? Really guys?”  
“Yes. Shush.”

We watch the movie in silence for a while, but once the action starts I turn my head slightly so I can whisper in Logan’s ear:  
“You can’t react. Squeeze my hand if you understand.”  
He squeezes my hand and I whisper:  
“Meg and I are pregnant.”

I turn my head to watch the movie again and he kisses the side of my head before whispering in my ear:  
“When does everyone else find out?”  
I turn my head again and now we’re sitting with our mouths practically on each other’s ears. I whisper:  
“September?”  
“Seriously?”  
“The family will find out soon. Opie will find out tomorrow.”  
“Is it Opie’s or Jax’s?”  
“Lilly says Jax, and since she knew I needed to take the test, I trust her opinion.”

Dick very loudly says:  
“What is happening here? Why are you two all cozy like that?”  
“We’re just talking about you Dick. Didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”  
“So it would be totally fine if I go upstairs and tell your fiancé that you’re down here with your mouth against Logan’s ear?”

Jax walks in the room laughing.  
“Yeah, I’m fine with it. I am not concerned about Logan.”  
He sits down next to Logan and says:  
“By the way man…I think I may love you.”  
“Ah…You saw the videos.”

Dick says:  
“What videos?”  
“Just old videos of pep squad when Lilly and I were on it. No big deal.”  
“I want to watch those.”  
“You saw it in person, Dick. You frequently made disgusting comments about me in my uniform.”  
“But I haven’t made any comments about you recently.”  
“In like a week, Dick! The first words out of your mouth to me after my name were ‘are you single? Because you’re smoking hot’.”

Jax clears his throat and says:  
“Dick, you are not watching the videos, and if you did make comments about my fiancée’s body I’d kill you.”  
Dick mumbles:  
“It’s not my fault she’s smoking hot.”

Jax’s jaw clenches and his hand forms a fist. I say:  
“Jackson...You’re not allowed to kill Dick. Logan would have to explain it to Big Dick and he might accidentally let it slip that he’s fucking the newest Mrs. Casablancas...and then Big Dick would kill him.”

Logan looks at me and says:  
“How did you know?”  
“You smell like trophy wife skank. I just assumed it was Kendall...She’s like, Jax’s age, right? Shower before coming over next time.”

Dick and Cassidy both say:  
“You’re fucking our step-mom? What the hell man?”

My phone rings before Logan can say anything. The caller ID says Gemma so I answer it.  
“Gemma?”  
“I tried, baby. Clay was really pissed about Opie hurting you.”  
“How bad is it?”  
“It’s pretty bad sweetheart. When will you and Jax be here?”  
“The plan was around lunch tomorrow, but I think we’ll drive up tonight. Where is he?”  
“He’s in the apartment.”  
“Ok. Thanks Gemma.”

I hang up and look at Jax. I dial Opie’s number and wait for him to answer.  
“Hi baby.”  
“How bad is it Ope?”  
“I’m not feeling too hot at the moment. Leo is coming to take me to the hospital in a bit.”  
“Clay’s okay with Leo stepping in to do that? He’s not going to kill Leo is he?”  
“Leo’s fine. Clay is quite fond of him. Pop and Chibs stopped Clay before he and Juice killed me, and convinced Clay to let Leo come get me.”  
“After the hospital, where are you staying?”  
“In the apartment. Leo says he’s going to sleep in the chair to make sure Clay doesn’t come back to finish the job.”  
“Don’t make him sleep in the chair babe. It’s so uncomfortable.”  
“I’m gonna let him sleep in the bed. I’m not that cruel.”  
“Was it just Clay and Juice? Or did the other guys participate?”  
“Oh, Tig and Happy were quite happy to punch me in the face.”  
“Oh baby. I’m sorry. This is my fault.”  
“The hell it is. I hurt you. I deserved this.”  
“We should have just come back with you today so Jax and I could have explained to Clay…We’re going to drive out tonight.”  
“You are not driving at night Ronnie. Just wait until morning.”  
“But, Ope…”  
“Honey, it’s done. There’s nothing you can do.”  
“We should be there with you.”

Jax takes the phone from me and puts it on speaker before he says:  
“Did you at least fight back Ope?”  
“No. I deserved the beating.”  
“No you fucking didn’t. Ronnie tried to stop it. You shouldn’t have gone back without us.”  
“I hurt her! I deserved whatever those guys wanted to give me. You should have done it. You would have if…”  
“If what, Ope? If I didn’t love you? If she didn’t? If I thought you were any kind of risk to Veronica do you really think I’d let you be in the same building as her, let alone love her and have sex with her? You didn’t deserve what they did. We had already figured shit out. Veronica’s right. We should have been with you.”  
“Leo’s here.”  
“Give him the phone.”  
“Hey Jax.”  
“Leo, protect him like you’d protect me or Ronnie. Do not take him back to the clubhouse after the hospital. He has my house keys. Take him there. Until we get there to explain everything to the guys, the only club members you can trust are Chibs and Piney. We’ll be there in the morning.”  
“It’s bad Jax. Chibs had to pull Clay and Juice off of him. He didn’t fight back at all. And Juice noticed his rings were gone. He got awfully pissed when Opie wouldn’t tell him where they are.”  
“They’re on Veronica’s fingers.”  
“Yeah, I figured that’s where they were. Get here as soon as possible, okay? He doesn’t want me to detail his injuries, but it’s really bad.”

I look at Jax and he says:  
“We’re leaving now. We’ll be there in a few hours. Take him to my house.”  
“Is Veronica going to drive?”  
“Yes! I am. I do know how to drive at night guys. Stop being ridiculously overprotective.”  
“Just be careful love.”  
“Duh.”

Jax hangs up and says:  
“So we’re leaving now?”  
“Yeah. Logan, Meg, come help me pack. Duncan, can you help Jax rearrange the cars? The SUV needs to come out of the garage and the truck needs to go in. Dick, Cassidy, always nice to see you, now get the hell out.”

Logan and Meg get up and follow me upstairs. Logan says:  
“I’ll pack some stuff for Jax.”  
“Don’t bother. We’re going to his house, all of his things are there. I just wanted to talk to you without Dick and Cassidy.”

I hand him my keys and say:  
“I know Aaron’s home. Stay here while we’re gone. The kitchen is fully stocked, including homemade quiche and pie in the fridge. I don’t want that skank in my house though. I don’t want her even knowing where it is. Also, if you make a mess, clean it up. I haven’t officially hired Mrs. Navarro yet.”  
“How long are you going to be gone?”  
“Until Jax can ride his bike home. It needs to be fixed, and his arm has to heal.”  
“So, like…all summer?”  
“Possibly. His truck is here, and the keys are on this keyring, so if you need to use it, go ahead. Once we get to Charming I will text you our address. You can always come visit Lo.”  
“I’m going to miss you.”

I hug him and kiss his cheek.  
“I’m going to miss you too Logan. I’ve gotten used to you being around again. But the weeks will fly by, and you, Duncan, and Meg can come visit. Especially once Jake gets his way and he buys us some ridiculously fancy house.”  
“Ah, spoken like a true Mars.”  
“Oh come on. It’s going to be ridiculous, and you know it.”

Logan just laughs and kisses the top of my head before saying:  
“I’m going to go talk to Jax.”  
“Yeah, okay.”  
He turns to leave the room and I say:  
“Hey Logan? I love you.”  
“I love you too Ronnie.”

Meg touches my back and says:  
“You want me to pack some stuff for Abel?”  
“Please. Everything in his room fits at the moment.”   
“Okay.”  
She starts to leave the room, but turns around and says:  
“Duncan told you my parents are abusive?”   
“Yeah, he did.”  
“Can I come and stay with you in Charming this summer?”  
“Of course you can.”  
“Thanks Veronica. Can I come with you tonight? We can share clothes, and then I can buy myself some while I’m there.”  
“Yeah. How do you explain that to your parents?”  
“Like this.”

She pulls out her phone and puts it on speaker as she calls her Mom.  
“Meg.”  
“Hey Mom. I got a nanny job for over the summer. I have to leave tonight, but I have my money and stuff, so I’ll be okay.”  
“Who is the nanny job for?”  
“Veronica Mars.”  
“Sheriff Mars’ daughter?”  
“Yes.”  
“Here in Neptune, or in Charming where her biker boyfriend lives?”  
“Charming, but Veronica and I will be together the whole time, and Deputy Leo has transferred to Charming PD so he’ll be there to watch over us too.”  
“Fine. Call me when you get to Charming. And Meg, you know the rules.”  
“Yes, Mom.”

She hangs up and walks out of the room to pack Abel’s things. I turn to the dresser and closet and pack with both myself and Meg in mind. When I’m done I grab Jax’s cut and hoodie and walk into Abel’s room to see how Meg is doing. She’s basically done too, so we walk downstairs together.

Duncan is waiting by the front door when we walk down the stairs. He looks at Meg and says:  
“You’re going with them, aren’t you?”  
“I can’t risk Dad finding out about the baby. So yes, I’m going with Veronica.”

Duncan looks upset, so I say:  
“Dad is coming to Charming to buy us a house. You could come with him and stay for a bit.”  
“Okay. I’ll do that. Is Logan going to stay here while you’re gone?”  
“Yes.”

Jax grabs the bags and takes them out to the car. When he comes back takes Abel from his playpen and puts him in his carseat. I walk into the kitchen and collect a snack for everyone before kissing Logan and saying:  
“Don’t destroy my house Lo.”  
“I promise. Call me when you get there. Please?”  
“I will.”  
“There’s a bunch of cds in the car by the way. I made one, Duncan made one, Dick made one, and Casey made one.”  
“Casey Gant? Why?”  
“He wanted to. I don’t know. They’re all road trip music.”  
“Thanks Lo.”

I walk out of the house and get in the car. Jax says:  
“I’m going to sit back here with Abel so Meg can sit with you babe.”  
“You don’t have to.”  
“I know, but I miss him. I feel like I haven’t spent much time with him lately.”  
“Okay. Here, take the snacks.”  
I pass him the cooler bag with the snacks. I adjust the seat and Jax sighs.  
“What?”  
“I should have sat behind you. I forgot how far forward you move your seat.”  
“Then move babe.”

He gets out of the car and walks around to my side. He opens my door and leans in to kiss me before getting in the backseat.  
“I love you.”  
“I love you.”

Meg gets in the car and says:  
“You two are adorable.”  
I start the car and start to drive away as I say:  
“I should probably fill you in on something.”  
Jax reaches forward and puts his hand on my shoulder.  
“Is it that you are in some weird three person relationship with Opie too?”  
“Yeah. You caught the comment about Opie having sex with me?”  
“No…Well, yeah. I think we all caught that, but I figured it out at Logan’s. The way the two of you were together was way more than just the relationship someone has with their fiancé’s best friend. Then I may have seen the kiss he gave you after your spat with Weevil…It was hot. At first I thought maybe you were just cheating on Jax, but then I saw you and him together and realized that there was no way you’d cheat on him.”  
“I would never…”  
“No, I get that now. I’m sorry that I made the assumption.”  
“It’s okay. I probably would have made the same assumption. Do you want to choose a CD? I think they’re all in the glove box or centre console.”  
“Sure.”

Meg opens the centre console and says:  
“We have CDs labelled ‘Duncan’, ‘Logan’, ‘Dick’, ‘Casey’, and ‘Mac’. No information about what is on the CDs of course, because why would they make it easy on us?”  
“Logan says they are all road trip music.”  
“Well then, I trust Mac more than any of those idiots.”  
“Good call.”  
Meg puts the CD in and Mac’s voice fills the car:  
“I’m hoping you chose my CD first because you decided that you trust me more than those idiot boys. I don’t know what they put on their road trip CDs, but I’m sure mine is better.”

Meg and I glance at each other and start laughing.  
“Mac knows us well.”  
Meg skips through the CD to see what’s on it, and it’s all 80’s and 90’s pop music. Lots of boy bands and fun, slightly inappropriate dance music. She skips back to the first song after Mac’s intro and turns it up slightly. We spend the next hour and a half of our drive singing along at the top of our lungs. Jax spends that time laughing at us and talking to Abel. The first time he refers to Meg as Abel’s Aunty, Meg freezes and then says:  
“Wow…I guess I am, aren’t I?”

Jax grins and says:  
“Yup. Welcome to the family sweetheart. I apologize in advance for my side.”  
Meg laughs bitterly and says:  
“At least your side is overt with their violence and stuff. My parents lock us in a small room inside a closet and give us religious tests to see if we’re ready to come out. They are going to lose their shit when they realize I’m married and they can’t control me anymore.”

I put my hand on Meg’s knee and say:  
“My mom ignored the fact that her boyfriend was raping me on a daily basis for months and then when she was confronted with that fact she blamed me. Parents fucking suck.”  
"We’re going to be better than them right?”  
“Of course we are. Hard to be worse.”

Jax leans forward a bit and says:  
“Pull into the next rest stop.” 

When I pull into a parking spot and turn off the car, Jax gets out and opens my door to pull me out of the car before walking around and doing the same to Meg. Once we’re all standing, he wraps his arms around our shoulders and pulls us into his chest. Meg and I each wrap one arm around his waist and one around each other. We stand there like that for a little while, then he kisses each of us on the forehead before letting us go. He then kisses me before getting back in the car. Meg stares after him, astounded, before saying:  
“When I heard you were marrying a Son, I was worried about you, but he’s such a sweet guy.”  
“I’m glad you are getting a chance to know my Jax, because when we get to Charming I’m pretty sure you’re going to meet SoA Jax. He’s much scarier.”

My phone rings as we’re getting back in the car. It’s Leo, so I answer with it on speaker.  
“Hey Leo.”  
“Hi baby. We’re done at the hospital, but Opie won’t go to Jax’s. He insists on being at the clubhouse. Says he refuses to show them that he’s afraid of them. Where are you?”  
“Halfway there. Let the idiot go to the clubhouse. Stay as close to him as you can.”

I hear Opie say:  
“I am not an idiot.”  
“Yes, my love. You are. Stay in the main clubhouse. And let Leo stay with you. We’ll be there soon.”

I hang up and send Leo a text: ‘Tell me what his injuries are.’ I hand my phone to Jax and say:  
“When Leo answers, tell me what he says. I need to be able to prepare myself for just how bad it’s going to be.”  
“Yeah, okay baby.”

I start the car and pull out of the rest area. Meg changes the CD to the one from Casey. It starts with his voice saying:  
“Hey Ronnie…I know me making you one of these seems strange, but I needed to apologize for being a world-class jackass before you left. I shouldn’t have let Logan convince me to cut you out.”

Meg skips through the CD and we discover that it’s filled with alt-rock and punk. She shrugs at me and skips back to the first song as she says:  
“I like this stuff as much as the next girl.”

It takes almost an hour for Leo to respond to my text. When it comes through, Jax says:  
“Pause the music for a minute.”

Once the music is paused he says:  
“Leo says that Ope has 3 broken ribs, pretty bad abdominal bruising, a broken nose, and his face looks rough. Leo’s exact words were it looks like someone took a meat tenderizer to him.”  
“That would be Clay’s rings.”  
“Yup. That’s why he has them after all.”

Meg looks up and says:  
“Is that why you wear rings?”  
Jax laughs and says:  
“Yeah. Brass knuckles are a pain in the ass to put on in the middle of a fight, but big rings do just as much damage and can be worn basically 24/7.”

My text message alert goes off again, and Jax says:  
“Why is Leo aware of how you and Opie have sex?”  
“What?”  
“He says with Ope’s broken ribs you’ll have to settle for gentler sex. How does he know that you and Ope like things rough?”  
“He’s walked in on us twice in the past two days. The first time he just heard us, the second he apparently watched. Opie was less than impressed, but since Leo was there to arrest him he thought he should let it go. And we don’t always like things rough.”  
“I know. But Ope’s never been afraid to manhandle you, so I’m not surprised he’s rougher with you sexually than I am.”

I lock eyes with him in the rearview mirror and raise my eyebrow.  
“What babe?”  
“Ope is no rougher with me sexually than you are. I’m just vocal, so Leo assumed things he shouldn’t. Opie’s tendency to manhandle me in normal life does not mean he’s not careful with me.”

Meg clears her throat and says:  
“Bruises, Veronica. Bruises.”  
“That was different. He was pissed off. That wasn’t during sex.”  
“Really? Because they look like…”  
“I know. But they weren’t from that.”

I notice Meg blushing out of the corner of my eye.  
“Speak Meg.”  
“I just…”  
“What?”  
“Duncan is kind of…boring? How do I get him to want to try new things?”  
“Meg, Duncan is my brother. I have no suggestions for you.”  
“You dated him for a year!”  
“We held hands and exchanged chicken peck kisses. The sex topic didn’t even come up…Thank god.”  
“Well, your guys aren’t boring. Teach me your ways.”  
“Well, A: my guys came pre-trained. They have each slept with hundreds of women. They’re kind of man-whores. And B: The trick is to try anything once. Even when they suggest having sex with another guy at the same time. But know your limits. If you don’t like something, tell them. If you try something and decide that you never want to do it again, say something.”

Jax speaks up from the backseat:  
“Hey, I take offence to you calling me a man-whore. I haven’t had sex with anyone but you in almost two years. Also, you were into the Juice thing. You changed your mind afterward.”  
“Honey, this right here is girl talk. It’s not about you. Shush.”   
“You know I might be able to help Meg, right?”  
“Then help her. I’ll just be over here driving, trying not to think about the fact that she’s talking about sex with my brother.”

Meg reaches over and touches my leg before whispering:  
“Are you okay, Ronnie?”  
“Peachy.”

I’m driving along a straight stretch of road, so I rest my hands on the top of the steering wheel and play with Opie’s rings while tuning Meg and Jax’s conversation out. A while later we pass the “Welcome to Charming” sign and I follow the main road to get to TM. I pull into the lot and park the car. I get out and start to walk around the car to get Abel. Jax gets out of the car and stops me from passing him.  
“I need to get Abel out.”  
“Meg’s got him. Talk to me babe.”  
“There’s nothing to say, Jax.”

He puts his hand on my cheek and kisses me before saying:  
“I love you so much Veronica.”  
“I love you. I’m just tired and worried and not looking forward to telling all those assholes everything about my private life.”  
“We’ll do it together baby. When we go inside, you sit on Opie’s lap like usual. It’ll piss off Clay at bare minimum. He’s going to try to hurt you with his words and his hands. It’ll be a scene, but then I’ll hug you guys like I did when I get home from the hospital.”  
“Will that work?”  
“I don’t know baby. But we’re going to try it. You just need to control yourself and not yell at Clay for hurting Opie, okay?”  
“Yeah. Fine.”

I walk over to Meg and say:  
“Are you good with Abel?”  
“Yeah, he needs a new diaper though.”

I hear Gemma’s voice say:  
“Come with me sweetheart. I’ll show you where the change table is.”  
“Thanks Gemma. This is Meg, my brother’s fiancée. Meg, this is Jax’s Mom, Gemma.”  
“I’ll bring her to the clubhouse when we’re done.”

Meg and Gemma walk away and Jax wraps his arm around me and leads me towards the clubhouse. When we walk in, Leo is walking out.   
“Hey, where are you going?”  
“Unser called me in. I’ll come by the house in the morning, okay?”  
“Yeah, love. Okay.”

He hugs me as he leaves, whispering in my ear:  
“It looks worse than it is. He wants you to sit with him.”  
“That’s the plan. Thanks Leo.”

After Leo lets me go, Jax whispers:  
“Go on babe. I’ll wait for Meg to come in with Abel.”

I walk into the clubhouse and spot Opie sitting on a chair on the far side of the room. Chibs approaches me as I walk over. He hugs me and whispers in my ear:  
“Are we making a scene little one?”  
“Yup. All Jax’s idea…Take it up with him.”  
He kisses me on the cheek and lets me go, watching as I walk towards Opie.

I feel my eyes fill with tears as I get closer. He holds his hand out for me and I gently sit in his lap. I softly put my hand on his cheek and say:  
“Oh baby…Leo wasn’t kidding about the meat tenderizer.”  
“I’m okay Ronnie. It looks worse than it is.”  
“Yeah, that’s what Leo said too. I didn’t believe him either.”  
“Snuggle into me babe.”  
“You have broken ribs. I don’t want to hurt you.”  
“You won’t. Come here.”

I carefully curl into him, pressing my face against his neck. I whisper:  
“I love you. I’m so sorry they did this.”  
“It’s okay baby. It’s not your fault.”

I hear someone approach us and then Juice loudly say:  
“What the fuck is this?”  
I sit up a little and look at him.  
“This is me, cuddling with someone I love. Someone who is hurt.”  
“He deserved it!”  
“No. He didn’t. We had already sorted our shit out. Aside from where it occurred, what happened between Opie and I had nothing to do with any of you. The only person that had any right to hit him was Jax, and Jax didn’t feel the need to. Did you think about that? Jax, who beat the shit out of you for saying something upsetting to me, didn’t hit Opie for what he did. That should tell you that we had already figured it out. Already talked it through. Maybe things are going on that you know nothing about?”

Opie speaks up and says:  
“Well, technically babe, it had something to do with Juice. Since he was the cause of the anger in the first place.”  
“Sure, but it still wasn’t his place to hurt you for it.”  
Juice speaks more quietly than he had been:  
“You mean he hurt you because you fucked me?”  
“Partially. It’s complicated.”

Suddenly there are hands pulling me up and away from Opie, then I’m being spun around and Clay’s hand is around my throat.  
“You fucked Juice?”  
“Let me go, Clay. Remember your line of ‘I’d never hurt the mother of my grandchild’?”  
“He’s not really my grandchild though is he?”  
“Not biologically I guess, but this one is biologically Gemma’s grandchild.”  
I put my hand on my stomach as I say this.  
“I don’t believe you. Clearly you’re a little whore and can’t be trusted.”

Piney and Chibs are making their way over to me, and my hand is out behind me to stop Opie from getting up. I hear from the other side of the clubhouse:  
“Let her go!”

Suddenly Jax is next to Clay growling:  
“Let my old lady go.”  
“She’s a whore. She can’t be your old lady. She fucked Juice.”  
“Jesus Christ, old man. Juice and I fucked her together. It was my idea. Veronica refuses to do it again.”  
“I’m pretty sure that’s because she’s fucking Opie.”  
“With permission. We invited him to move in with us. She’ll be my wife and his old lady. We’ll be a family. Which, really, has nothing to do with any of you and we shouldn’t have to disclose. Now let go of my pregnant fiancée.”  
“Are you and Opie fucking each other?”  
“What? No. We just both love Ronnie and figured out how to make everyone happy.”

Tig speaks up from nearby:  
“It doesn’t bother you? Knowing he’s fucking her?”  
“No. I thought it would, but it doesn’t.”  
“But when you’re gone and you come home to them naked in bed, wrapped around each other in their sleep…that bothers you, right?”  
“Not at all. It feels like coming home. Like it’s how it’s supposed to be.”

I look at Clay and say:  
“Please let me go Clay. I didn’t do anything without Jax’s approval or encouragement. I didn’t do anything wrong or break any old lady rules. You’re hurting me.”

I hear Abel cry on the other side of the room, and Meg shushing him. I raise my voice and say:  
“Meg, sweetheart, take him outside. There’s a swingset out there. I’ll be right there.”  
Meg walks out of the clubhouse as Clay growls at me:  
“Who is Meg?”  
“My pregnant sister in law. She’s marrying Duncan.”

Juice says:  
“Meg Manning is marrying Duncan? And she’s pregnant?”  
“Yes, Juice.”  
“I would not have guessed that Meg Manning and Veronica Mars would spend their senior year of high school married and pregnant.”  
“Yeah. I don’t think anyone had that on their high school bingo card.”

Clay says:  
“Enough Juice.”  
He squeezes my neck slightly and says:  
“Are you planning on fucking any more of my guys?”  
“No. I am in love with Jax and Opie. I am with them. I only want them.”  
“And if Jax dangles someone else in front of you?”  
“I already told him I’m not doing that again.”  
“And your cop…You fucking him too?”  
“No. Jax made Leo very aware that he would never be allowed to fuck me. And I have no interest in changing that.”  
“And what happened to Hale?”  
“He tried to force himself on me. We made the call that he had to go. He only wanted to be on board because he wanted to try to take Jax’s toy.”  
“Are you really pregnant?”  
“Yes.”  
“Is it Jax’s?”  
“Yes.”

He lets go of my throat and says:  
“I’m sorry baby. I got angry without knowing all the facts.”

The badass bitch mask I’ve been wearing crumbles and I start crying. I turn around and curl into Opie’s lap, pressing my face into his neck as I sob. He rubs my back and whispers:  
“Shh, my love. It’s okay. Everything’s fine now. I’ve got you baby. You did so good.”

I hear Jax say:  
“Good job, old man. You just traumatized a pregnant 17 year old girl who has PTSD and has already attempted suicide once. Maybe you should get all the facts before lashing out in anger again.”  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…I would never actually hurt her.”

I feel his hand on my back and I flinch away. Opie growls at him:  
“Do not touch her.”  
I feel and smell Jax as he wraps his arms around us, like he did after the hospital. He runs his fingers through my hair and I relax into him and Opie. 

I hear Gemma walk across the room and say:  
“Jesus Clay. You really fucked this up, didn’t you? I told you Veronica called and begged me to try to get you to not hurt Opie. You should have realized there was something going on then.”  
“Yeah. I get it. I fucked up.”

I hear him sit on the chair next to us before he says:  
“Veronica, what can I do to make this better?”  
“Leave me alone. Just let me be with the people who love me. I’ll be able to compartmentalize and then I’ll be fine.”  
“I do love you, Veronica. You are going to be my daughter-in-law.”  
“Clay, this is going to sound snarky and rude, but I’m going to say it anyways. I don’t think you know how to love anyone but Gemma.”

Both of my guys squeeze me when I say this, a silent admonishment of my rudeness towards their president.

“I need to go check on Meg and Abel. Let me up.”

Opie and Jax both let go of me and I walk out of the clubhouse. Piney follows me out and says:  
“Sweetheart, are you sure the baby is Jax’s and not Opie’s?”  
“Yeah, Piney. I’m sure.”  
“How? You’re sleeping with them both.”  
“Yeah, but I only started sleeping with Opie two days ago. The baby is not his.”

Piney wraps his arms around me and I relax into him.  
“I’m sorry sweet girl. Clay does love you, he’s just a really shitty human being.”  
“He has a strange way of showing love, Piney.”  
“He’s a damaged individual my dear.”  
“So am I. I don’t hurt people I supposedly love.”  
I hear Meg say from behind me:  
“Are you okay Ronnie?”  
I pull away from Piney and say:  
“Yeah. I’m okay. Meg, this is Piney, he’s Opie’s Dad. Piney, this is my sister-in-law Meg.”

My phone rings before anyone can say anything else.  
“Oh crap. I forgot to call Logan.”  
I answer the phone and say:  
“Lo…I’m sorry I didn’t call.”  
“So you’re alive. That’s good.”  
“Logan, don’t be so dramatic.”  
“I talked to Jake. He says he’ll be there in three days. He asked what kind of house you’re wanting. He wants you to text him.”  
“Okay. Are you and Duncan coming with him when he comes?”  
“Duncan is. I’m not.”  
“Why, Lo?”  
He mumbles his response at me:  
“Big Dick’s out of town. Kendall told me I’m not allowed to leave.”  
“Logan…Don’t let that skank control you.”  
“So judgemental for someone who is living with and fucking two best friends.”  
“Yeah…Sorry. Just remember, you’re welcome to come visit if you change your mind, and I don’t want Kendall in my house.”  
“Got it Ronnie. I love you.”  
“I love you Lo.”

I hang up and look at Meg.   
“You look tired sweetheart.”  
“So do you. Shall we get your guys?”  
“Yeah.”  
I take Abel from Meg and walk back into the clubhouse. Jax is still standing next to Opie, talking to Clay. I walk over and hand Abel to Opie before turning to look at Clay.  
“I’m sorry I was rude, Clay.”  
“It’s alright baby. You were upset.”  
“That’s no excuse.”  
“I’m sorry I hurt and scared you, Veronica. Actually hurting you was never my intention.”  
“I believe you.”

I turn to Jax and Opie and say:  
“Meg, Abel, and I are tired. Can we go back to the house now please?”  
“Yeah babe. We can. Take Abel and Meg and wait in the car. Ope and I will be right there.”  
“Okay.”

I take Abel back from Opie and turn around to walk away. Meg and I go to the car and I put Abel into his seat. Once he’s buckled in I close the door and turn to walk around the car. Meg stops me and wraps her arms around me.  
“Ronnie. I was so scared for you. Is it like that all the time?”  
“No. It’s not. We were trying to get a response like that out of Clay. Now that he feels guilty for hurting me he should leave us alone relationship wise, at least for a while.”  
“That was risky. What if he had really hurt you?”  
“Jax and Opie wouldn’t have let that happen. Hell, Juice was right there too. He wouldn’t let Clay actually hurt me.”  
“He looked so familiar.”  
“That’s because he’s Norris Clayton.”  
“What?! How?!”  
“Keith. He set him up with a new identity, and then I begged Clay to let him join, to give him a family.”  
“Why?”  
“Because he was innocent.”  
“You are a good person Veronica Mars.”  
I hug her tighter and say:  
“I’m so glad my idiot brother is marrying you.”

We let go of each other as Jax and Opie walk up. Opie wraps his arms around me and kisses me.  
“I love you.”  
“I love you. Can we go home now please?”  
“Yeah. I’ll drive. Give me the keys babe.”  
“I am capable of driving.”  
“Why do you need to argue about everything?”

Meg snorts and says:  
“Veronica has been argumentative her whole life. You supposedly love her…How can you question such a key part of her personality?”

Opie just looks at Meg and blinks. Jax starts laughing and says:  
“One of you drive. Let’s go home.”

I hand the keys to Opie and Meg and I climb in the backseat with Abel. We must be tired, because by the time we get to Jax’s house we’re both asleep. I wake up to Opie leaning over me to get Abel out of his carseat. I sit up a little bit to kiss him before I say:  
“I can do that babe.”  
“Already doing it. Wake Meg up.”

Once he’s not leaning over me anymore I reach over to shake Meg awake.  
“We’re here love. Let’s go inside.”

We walk inside and Opie is in Abel’s room giving him a bottle and getting him ready for bed. Jax directs me to his room and then directs Meg to the guest room. Once I’m in the bedroom I open my bag and pull out two sets of pyjamas. I take one over to Meg.  
“Here sweetheart. Tomorrow we’ll explore Charming and go shopping.”  
“Ooh…pyjama pants and a long sleeve shirt. You know me so well.”  
“I packed those with you in mind. Figured you probably didn’t feel comfortable wandering around the house in short sleep shorts and a tank top.”  
“Will you stay and talk to me for a while?”  
“Yeah. Let me go get changed. I’ll come back.”  
“Thanks Veronica.”

I walk out of her room, back to ours. Both guys are standing there waiting for me.   
“I’m sorry Ope. The plan was to tell you about the pregnancy before everyone else found out. I panicked when Clay grabbed me.”  
“It’s okay. So your implant failed?”  
“Yeah, I think so. Meg and I are going out shopping tomorrow, we’ll stop by the clinic, get a doctor to check us out.”

I get changed into my pyjamas and then say:  
“Meg wants to talk, so I’m going to go in there with her for a while. You’re both injured. You should try to get some sleep.”

Jax reaches out and grabs my wrist.  
“You are coming to bed at some point, right?”  
“Yeah. I think Meg’s just having trouble with…everything.”

I kiss him and Opie and say:  
“Get some sleep. Just leave room for me in the middle. I’ll be to bed soon.”

I walk out of the room and into the kitchen. I open the freezer and find ice cream. I open drawers until I find the spoons, grab two and walk into Meg’s room, pushing the door mostly closed behind me.  
“Ooh..Ice cream. Good call.”  
“Ice cream is always a good call, Meg.”

I sit on the bed next to her, our backs against the headboard, and we pass the ice cream back and forth.  
“What’s up sweetheart? What are you thinking?”  
“How do you do this Ronnie? I’ve known you forever. I know you, so, so well. I know you were scared back there. How did you keep that mask up while he was hurting you?”  
“I’ve been through a lot in the past couple of years. It’s easy to not show people I don’t trust that I’m afraid. When Opie hurt me, I cried. I couldn’t help it.”  
“Because you love him?”  
“Yeah, but mostly because I trust him. I trusted that he would never hurt me, but then he did. With Clay, I’ve always known that he would hurt me if it helped him achieve whatever he felt he needed to achieve.”  
“You don’t trust your soon-to-be father-in-law?”  
“Uh…You saw the way he reacted back there. Do you blame me?”  
“He reacted the same way Opie did to the same information. Why trust Opie when you don’t trust Clay?”

A knock on the bedroom door saves me from answering her question.   
“Yeah?”  
Opie pushes open the door, wearing his pyjama pants and holding out my ringing phone.   
“It’s Donna’s mom’s number. Thought you’d want to answer it.”  
“Thanks babe.”

As I take the phone from him and he walks away, Meg whispers:  
“I understand the attraction now.”

I answer the phone:  
“Donna?”  
“Aunty Ronnie?”  
“Ellie, baby, what’s wrong?”  
Ellie starts crying, so I say:  
“Sweetheart, do you want to talk to Daddy?”  
“Yes, Aunty Ronnie.”  
“Okay. Hang on a second.”

I pull the phone away from my ear and yell:  
“Opie!”  
He comes back in the room and says:  
“What did she say?”  
“It’s not Donna. It’s Ellie. She wants to talk to you. She’s crying Ope.”

He takes the phone and sits on the edge of the bed as he says:  
“Ellie, baby, what’s wrong?”  
…  
“What?”  
…  
“Let me talk to Grandma.”  
…  
“Darlene, what happened?”  
…  
“We will come get the kids. We’ll leave in the morning.”  
…  
“No, Darlene. I am their father. They should be with me.”  
…  
“Darlene, I never hurt Donna. I’ve never hurt my kids. With Donna gone, the kids should be with me.”  
…  
“Yes, Darlene. And my girlfriend, and her son.”  
…  
“We are perfectly capable of taking care of my children.”  
…  
“Darlene. Donna took the kids across state lines without my permission. It was parental abduction. I didn’t file a report. I will file one against you though if you try to keep my kids from me.”  
…  
“Thank you. We will leave Charming in the morning and should be there around dinnertime.”  
…  
“Yeah, okay.”

He passes the phone to me and says:  
“She wants to talk to you.”

“Darlene? What happened to Donna?”  
“She accidentally overdosed on sleeping pills. I need to know if you are willing to take care of my grandchildren.”  
“Of course I am. They are Opie’s children.”  
“Their mother is dead. You need to focus on them, and not him.”  
“I know, Darlene. My mother recently died as well. I can help the kids. I love them.”  
“That’s what Donna always said about you. That she and the kids loved you, and you loved them back just as much. I’m hoping that’s the case, and I’m hoping you can keep that idiot from shutting down, because when he shuts down he stops being a father.”  
“I will keep him focused on them. My sister-in-law and I will be there to pick up the kids tomorrow. Can you send me your address in a text?”  
“Yes. You’re not bringing Opie?”  
“I get the feeling that the transfer of the kids will be smoother without him there. It’ll just be Meg and me.”  
“Thank you, Veronica.”  
“Darlene, I’m sorry for your loss. Donna was amazing. I loved her very much.”

We hang up and I look at Meg:  
“Sorry, I just volunteered you for another road trip.”  
“No problem. How old are Opie’s kids?”  
“Ellie is five and Kenny is three.”  
“And their mom died? How?”  
“Sleeping pill overdose. Her mother says it was accidental.”  
“That’s shit. If we’re driving a long distance in the morning though, you and I should go to sleep. We can talk in the car on the way to get the kids.”  
“You sure love?”  
“Yeah. I’m good. Opie needs you right now.”

I kiss her on the cheek then pick up the ice cream and spoons before saying:  
“Let’s go Opie. Let Meg sleep.”

We walk out of the room and I close the door behind us. I put the spoons in the sink and the ice cream in the freezer, then turn around to face Opie. I wrap my arms around him and say:  
“I’m so sorry babe. What can I do?”  
“Why would she kill herself?”  
“We don’t know she did, love. Darlene said it was an accident, and as far as I know, Donna didn’t take sleeping pills on a regular basis. It is possible that she accidentally took too many.”  
“Why don’t I get to go with you to get the kids?”  
“Because it’s a long drive and you have broken ribs. Also, I thought it would go over better if Darlene didn’t see you and your injuries.”  
“What about your bruises?”  
“I’ll wear something that covers them.”  
“Darlene is…intense. I don’t want you subjected to her without protection.”  
“I’ll be fine, Ope. What can I do for you right now?”  
“Make me think about something else.”  
“Tell me what you want Ope. You’re injured.”  
“I want to fuck you. I don’t care about the injuries.”  
“Let’s go take a shower.”

He picks me up and growls in my ear:  
“I have a better idea.”  
“And that is?”  
He doesn’t answer me, just carries me into the bedroom and closes the door behind us. He kisses me and then puts me down before pulling off my shirt.  
“Ope, what’s the plan here?”  
Jax comes up behind me and runs his hand over my back before grabbing the side of my neck and tilting my head so he can kiss me.  
“We’ve been sharing you without actually sharing you. You deserve to get both of us.”  
“Yes please.”

I run my hands down Opie’s chest as he leans forward and kisses my neck. I push his pyjama pants down his legs and he steps out of them as Jax turns me around. I pull his shirt over his head and run my hands over his chest and back while kissing him. I undo his belt and pants and push his pants and boxers down his legs. He steps out of them while Opie pushes my sleep shorts down and I step out of them. Jax reaches down and runs his hand over my core.  
“Aw, baby. You’re so wet already.”  
“My two insanely sexy men are both naked and touching me. If I wasn’t wet, there’d be a fucking problem.”

Opie turns me around and picks me up, sliding into me as he does. He sits on the edge of the bed with me on top of him. Jax grabs lube from a drawer and says:  
“Lie down Ope.”  
Opie lies down, pulling me against his chest. Jax steps closer, standing between Opie’s legs at the end of the bed. He lubes up and slowly enters my ass, stopping every time I gasp. Once I’m used to the feeling of both of them inside me, we start moving. It’s slow, and excruciating, and absolutely amazing. Opie kisses me as Jax reaches down and rubs my clit until I fall apart whimpering their names. They both follow me over the edge shortly after. 

Once we’re all decoupled, we go get in the shower. We all wash our bodies and I start to wash my hair when I feel Opie’s hands on my head.  
“Let me baby.”  
“Gladly.”  
I grab Jax and kiss him while Opie washes my hair. Once he’s done rinsing it, I turn around and kiss him.   
“Meg and I are going to be gone for two days and one night. We can’t do the drive in one day, especially once we pick up the kids. Without stops, here to Boise is like, 8.5 hours.”  
“We know babe. While you’re gone we’ll get the extra bedroom set up for Ellie and Kenny.”  
“Bring as much of their stuff from the house as possible. We want them to feel like this is their home. At least until Jake buys us something ridiculous.”

We get out of the shower we dry off and go to bed. We lay in bed, curled up together, my back against Opie’s chest, Jax’s nose against mine, his arm over my waist.  
“You’re not going to sleep in separate rooms while I’m gone, right?”  
“Of course not love. We’ve slept in the same bed before.”  
“I guess.”  
“What’s wrong sweetheart?”  
“It’s just…the three of us are in a relationship, but you seemed…offended when Clay asked if you were fucking Opie. It wouldn’t be such a horrible thing for the two of you to be physically affectionate with each other. I mean, you do love each other. One of my favourite things so far has been those times where we’re all snuggling and I’m not the focus, it’s just the three of us…Being in love.”  
“So you’re saying that in an ideal world, Opie and I would touch each other and kiss? That would make you happy?”  
“So very happy.”

I feel Opie’s arm shift so he can run his fingers along Jax’s arm. Jax kisses me and then shifts slightly so he’s away from me. Opie shifts me so I’m lying on my back and he’s able to lie on top of me. He kisses me and then shifts slightly so he can kiss Jax. As I watch them kiss, Jax brings his hand up and tangles it in Opie’s hair. I run my nails down Opie’s back and bite his shoulder. I feel Opie get hard against me, and he stops kissing Jax briefly while adjusting our position so he can slide into me. He goes back to kissing Jax while thrusting into me and rubbing my clit. We orgasm together and he kisses me before Jax turns and kisses me. When he pulls away I say:  
“Jesus Christ. That was seriously hot. Please do that more often.”

They both laugh and say:  
“Only at home, when we’re alone.”  
“Fair. I love you both…So much.”  
“We love you sweetheart. You need sleep now though.”  
“Well then, you need to get off of me Ope, because you are heavy and I can’t breathe.”  
He laughs and moves off of me. We all end up curled together again and we go to sleep. I’m not surprised to see Lilly when she shows up at the end of the bed with a smirk and one raised eyebrow.  
“You’ve done good little sister. They are both fucking hot.”  
“Yeah, they are.”  
“They love you too. Opie loves you just as much as Jax does. Their love for you is only going to grow once Opie’s kids are here and those babies you are carrying are born.”  
“I’m sorry…Babies?!”  
“Oh yeah…You are one of like 0.000001% of women who get pregnant twice at once. Fraternal twins…with different fathers. Conceived a couple of days apart. Guess you ovulated again after getting pregnant with Thomas.”  
“So I am pregnant with Thomas…my Jax’s clone.”  
“Yes. And also Delilah Lynn. She’s going to look like you, except with her Daddy’s brown hair and green eyes. She’s going to be a terror, just like you were when we were little. A badass on the soccer field, and she’s going to have her Daddies wrapped around her little finger. And don’t shorten Delilah to Lilly. Shorten it to Dee…It’s so much cuter.”  
“You are so bossy. I don’t get a say in my kids’ names?”  
“No. You don’t. I do recommend getting your tubes tied when they cut you open to get those babies out though. And then make your men get vasectomies…The three of you are entirely too fertile and you have too much sex to rely on birth control alone.”  
“Fair and reasonable advice, Lils.”  
“As for my other niece…Don’t let Duncan name her Lilly. She deserves a better name than that.”  
“I’ll talk to him.”  
“Good. He’ll listen to you before he listens to me.”  
“I miss you Lils.”  
“I know, little sister. I know. Get close to Meg. She’s our sister now.”  
“I will. I love you.”  
“I love you. It’s time to wake up now. You’re crying and freaking out your men.”

I say her name as I wake up and I feel Jax’s and Opie’s hands on me. Gently stroking my arm and my hair. Shushing me and trying to get me to stop crying. Jax says:  
“Lilly again, huh babe?”  
“Yeah. She had all sorts of information for me.”  
“Like?”  
“Like, I’m pregnant with two babies, not just one.”  
“What?”  
“Apparently I got pregnant with two babies a few days apart. Twins with different fathers. At least according to the all-knowing Lilly.”

Opie whispers in my ear:  
“The other baby is mine, right? Not Juice’s?”  
“Lilly said she would have brown hair and green eyes like her Daddy.”  
“Thank goodness.”  
“Lilly says we’re going to name her Delilah Lynn, but that we should call her Dee.”

Jax says:  
“So just to confirm…we are going to have five kids?”  
“Yes. We’ll have to start a farm. This is it my loves. After these two, I’m getting my tubes tied and you two are getting vasectomies.”  
“Uh…Yeah, we are.”  
“I can’t do university and law school with five kids, guys.”  
“Yes, you can. You have both of us, and Meg and Duncan, and Logan, and Gemma, and the rest of the guys, and we can afford to hire a nanny or two. Everything will be okay babe.”  
“And when you guys go to prison next? How do I handle that?”  
“The same way, baby. Everything will be okay. Breathe.”  
“You can never go to prison without protection on the inside…I cannot lose you. Please do everything in your power to stay out of prison in general.”

Jax runs his hand down the side of my face before he says:  
“Shh. Babe. It’s okay, don’t stress about this right now. Everything will be fine. No spiralling.”

Opie strokes my hair and says:  
“Go back to sleep baby.”


	9. Day Nine

The next morning I wake up early and shower and dress before going out to the living room and calling Jake.  
“Hello my sweet girl.”  
“Hi Dad. Have you ever visited Boise?”  
“Once. It’s an interesting place. Why?”  
“Meg and I have a quick road trip to make there today. We need a hotel room. I was just wondering if you had a recommendation for a decent hotel.”  
“I will make you a reservation and text you with the details.”  
“Thanks Dad. The reservation can be made under Meg’s name since she’s 18. Let them know it’ll be the two of us and two children.”  
“Can I ask?”  
“We have to pick up Opie’s kids from his mother-in-law. His wife overdosed on sleeping pills.”  
“Jesus. Why are you and Meg going instead of Opie?”  
“He has broken ribs, so driving for 8.5 hours would be less than pleasant…And he and his mother-in-law don’t get along well. I figured it would be easier on the kids if I go get them. Meg’s coming with me so I don’t have to go alone.”  
“That seems reasonable. How old are the kids?”  
“Ellie is five and Kenny is three. They are amazing and wonderful.”  
“You sound like you love them.”  
“I do. They’re great kids. I loved their Mom, Donna, too.”  
“How are you dealing with her death?”  
“Focusing on Opie and the kids…So, you know, my usual path of avoiding strong emotions until they overtake me.”  
“You and Duncan both do that.”  
“Yeah. Must be a Kane family trait. Logan said you wanted me to text you about the house.”  
“Yeah. You want to just tell me what you want now?”  
“Sure? We need a house with a suite or a poolhouse for Logan. The main house needs to have at least six bedrooms. An office would be nice too, that way I have a space away from the kids where I can work on my homework and such. It needs to have a very large dining room/great room area, we need to be able to fit a giant custom dining room table for club family dinners. You mentioned a pool, which I think is a great idea, but I’d like a large yard for the kids too, and a decent deck/patio area.”  
“Why six bedrooms?”  
“One for me, Jax, and Opie…And one for each of the kids.”  
“You’re pregnant?”  
“Barely. Lilly came to me in a dream and told me to take a test, so I did and it was positive. She came to me again last night and told me it’s twins. I’m just trusting her at this point.”  
“Fair enough.”  
“I think Duncan and Meg were talking about moving here too, so we should consider houses that are next door to each other if possible.”  
“Yes. Duncan and I were talking about that. I don’t know what we’ll be able to find in Charming that will work for you. People with our kind of wealth don’t tend to live there. I did find a nice plot of land though. We could custom design an estate for you, Logan, and Duncan. You could each have your own wings or buildings, and share an outdoor space.”  
“That seems like it would be more expensive and take longer than just buying something.”  
“Yes, but you’ll all get exactly what you want, rather than settling. We can even put in a suite for household staff.”  
“Household staff, Dad?”  
“Live-in nanny, housekeeper, cook…that kind of stuff. You’ll be in university and then law school with five kids. You’re going to need help.”  
“Fair.”  
“You’re not going to argue?”  
“Nope.”  
“I think hell might have just frozen over.”  
“Thanks Dad. You’ll be here day after tomorrow, right?”  
“Yup. Duncan and I both will be.”  
“Alright. See you then.”

We hang up as Opie walks in the room. He lays on the couch with his head in my lap, face pressed into my stomach. I run my fingers through his hair as I say:  
“Hi sweetheart. Are you okay?”  
“No. I don’t want you to go without me. Let me come with you.”  
“Babe, I love you, but you and Darlene have a bit of a strained relationship. It’ll be easier on the kids for me and Meg to pick them up without you.”  
“It’s too far for you to drive.”  
“Meg and I will switch off. It’s not that far. You aren’t coming.”  
“You’re both pregnant.”  
“Barely. We’ll be fine. Sit up.”

He sits up on the couch and I move so I’m straddling his lap. I put my hands on his neck and rest my forehead on his.  
“Opie, I love you so much. I need you to not shut down, okay? The kids need you and I need you. That’s one of the things that Darlene is afraid of…that you’ll shut down and stop being a father. But I need you to not do that. I can’t take care of Ellie and Kenny on my own, I’m just Aunty Ronnie. They need you.”  
“I won’t shut down. I promise. I love you so much, I promise I will keep it together.”  
“I also need you to know ahead of time that we are probably not going to be getting more than a shower quickie for the next like…six months or so.”  
“Oh, fuck that shit.”  
“Babe, your kids just lost their Mom. They are going to be in our bed, or we are going to be in their beds for the next while. Jax won’t be getting any either, if that makes you feel better.”  
“We’ll just have to get Gemma to take them overnight once a week so Jax and I can ravage you.”

“We’re ravaging Ronnie? I’m on board.”

I roll my eyes as Jax walks up behind me and kisses my neck before kissing Opie.  
“I was just telling Opie that once the kids are here there probably won’t be much sex since they just lost their Mom and they’re probably going to end up in our bed more often than not.”  
“So we trade off being with the kids. It’s not all going to fall on you and Opie, babe.”  
“I know. They’re going to need all of us.”  
“Do we have time before you have to leave babe?”  
“No. Meg and I should get going.”

Meg walks out of her bedroom and says:  
“Ronnie…I’m really sick.”  
“Welcome to morning sickness. Stay here sweetheart. I’ll go on my own.”

Opie growls and says:  
“Like hell you will. I will come with you.”  
“Well, then I guess you’d better go get dressed while I message Dad and get him to change the hotel reservation from Meg’s name.”  
“You’re not going to argue?”  
“I’m not feeling very argumentative today.”  
“Are you feeling okay baby?”  
“Ha ha. Very funny. Go get dressed.”

I stand up and walk into the kitchen to rummage through the cupboards and fridge. When I find what I’m looking for I walk into Meg’s room and put them down on her bedside table.  
“Crackers, gingerale, and water?”  
“Trust me. The gingerale works even better when it’s warm and slightly flat.”  
“Thanks, Ronnie.”  
“No problem. Now, I was sick my whole pregnancy with Abel, so Jax knows how to help. Let him, okay?”  
“Okay. You’ll be back tomorrow?”  
“Yeah sweetheart. Try to get some sleep.”

I walk out of her room and close the door behind me. I walk over to Jax and wrap my arms around his waist. He kisses me and then says:  
“You want me to take care of her while you’re gone?”  
“Yeah, but like you’d take care of a sister…Not how you’d take care of a hot teenage girl.”  
“To borrow a phrase from my exceptionally smart, sexy fiancée: ‘duh’.”  
“Hey, I just thought I’d clarify since the most effective treatment we found for my morning sickness was sex.”  
“Well, until Duncan shows up, poor Meg will just have to make do with crackers, gingerale, and neck massages.”  
“You’ll still get the room set up for the kids?”  
“Yeah. I’ll get some of the guys to help me.”

I kiss him before saying:  
“You’re the best. I love you.”  
“I love you. Message your Dad about the hotel reservation.”  
“Right.”

I step away from him and grab my phone. There’s a text from Jake saying: ‘I made the reservation under your fake ID name. It’s just easier for me. It’s for the Northwest Lodge. I’ll send another text with directions from the freeway.’ I send a quick reply: ‘Thanks, Dad.’

“You dressed, Ope? We should get going.”  
He wraps his arms around me from behind and says:  
“Yeah. You know where you’re going?”  
“I know how to get to Boise, and I have directions from the freeway to the hotel. It’s just Darlene’s that I don’t know how to get to.”  
“Well, I can help with that. Where are your keys? I’ll go get Abel’s carseat out of the car.”  
“They’re on the kitchen counter.”  
“Okay. I’ll be right back, then we can go.”

While he’s outside, I walk into the bedroom to make sure we both have clothes in a bag. I notice Opie has added his clothes to the bag I already had packed, so I pick it up and walk out to the living room. Jax is sitting on the couch holding Abel, so I walk over and sit on his lap. I press my face into the side of his neck and say:  
“I love you. Our life has been way too chaotic the past little bit. When I get home, after Jake leaves, we need to take a few days to just be a family…A much larger family than we once were, but we need some peaceful, quiet time.”  
“So you don’t want to take the kids to Disneyland?”  
“I think even Disneyland with a 5-year-old, a 3-year-old, and a 9-month-old would be less chaotic than our lives at the moment…But no, I really don’t.”  
“So what are you thinking babe?”  
“Let’s go somewhere where there is no SoA…Canada. There’s no Sons in Canada, right? Let’s go there.”  
“What is there to do in Canada?”  
“I don’t know. It’s a big country, there must be something.”  
“Ope and I have criminal records that might make crossing into Canada difficult. We’ll think of something, baby.”  
“We could rent a yacht…I’m pretty sure we have enough money to be that type of people.”  
“That would be relaxing. Maybe Jake has one we can use…You know, rather than spending all that money to rent one.”  
“I like how you’re just going with the insanely rich suggestion.”  
“I’ve never been on a yacht before. Have you?”  
“Yes.”  
“Wait…Seriously?”  
“Honey, have you forgotten that I grew up with Lilly and Duncan and my best friend is the son of a movie star? Yes, I’ve been on yachts…They’re just nice boats. Mostly they’re relaxing because there’s no cell signal out on the ocean.”  
“Right…We’ve led very different lives.”  
“Yes. In Neptune, either your parents are rich, like really rich, or they work for the really rich parents. Lilly’s love for me is the only reason I was accepted into the 09er club from elementary school. My parents didn’t exactly meet the income requirements.”  
“And now you are the daughter of a billionaire.”  
“Ah, how the tides turn. Strangely enough though, that billionaire booked me a room at a Best Western in Boise. Which, I didn’t know Jake Kane even knew there was such a hotel chain.”

Opie walks in the room then, puts down Abel’s car seat and says:  
“The best hotel in Boise is only 3 stars, so if you can get a 3-star hotel room at a cheap chain, why not?”  
“That makes sense actually. You ready to go?”  
“Yup. Just need to give Jax my keys so he can get the kids’ stuff.”

I turn back to Jax and say:  
“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then. Take care of Meg. Remember…”  
“Like a sister. I got it love. I have no interest in anyone but you.”  
“I love you, Jax.”  
“I love you, my sweet girl.”

I kiss him and then stand up, taking Abel with me so Jax and Opie can say goodbye. I kiss Abel’s cheeks and forehead and say:  
“Listen here little boy. You be good for your Daddy and your Aunty Meg, okay? Aunty Meg is sick, so Daddy’s going to need to take care of her while Mommy’s gone.” 

Jax stands up from the couch and Opie hands him the keys to the other house before saying:  
“Just their stuff, Jax. I don’t want any of Donna’s things here.”  
I step towards them and say:  
“There’s a family photo on the living room wall. You should bring that and we can put it in the kids’ room.”

Opie looks at me and opens his mouth to argue. I say:  
“No, Ope. The kids need to see her. Ideally we’d have pictures of her interspersed with our family photos, so when we get family pictures taken we should do that. She is their Mom. They need to see that it’s okay for them to think about her. I understand your desire to make this a Donna-free zone, but that’s not what’s best for the kids.”  
“I guess you’re right.”

Jax hugs Opie and says:  
“Our girl is pretty clever. We should defer to her wisdom.”  
“I think it’s just that she’s closer in age to the kids so she understands their thinking better than us adults.”

I roll my eyes and put Abel down in his playpen before walking away from my idiots. They both reach out and grab me as I pass them, turning me around and pulling me into their hug. Opie kisses the top of my head and says:  
“You know I was just teasing baby.”  
“Oh, I know…Old man.”  
Jax laughs at the insulted look on Opie’s face and then kisses Opie before kissing me. He says:  
“I love you both. Drive safe. Call me when you get to the hotel.”  
“Okay.”  
“Veronica…I’m serious. Do not forget to call me. I will be worried until I hear from you.”  
“Okay Jax. I will call. I promise. We need to get going now.”  
“Yeah…Okay.”  
He kisses us both again before letting us go. As we walk out of the house I hold my hand out to Opie and say:  
“Keys please.”  
“I can drive babe.”  
“My car. I’m driving.”  
“You’re difficult.”  
“That’s why you love me. Give me my keys.”

He shakes his head and hands me the keys.  
“Do I at least get to pick the music?”  
“Nope.”  
“You are lucky I love you, little girl.”  
“Get in the damn car Ope.”

We get in the car and I adjust the seat and mirrors before switching Casey’s CD out for Logan’s.  
“Why do you need to adjust everything?”  
“Because I’m tiny and a freaking giant drove last.”

We start driving and I press play on the CD. Logan’s voice comes over the speakers:  
“This CD has less of my voice than the relaxation CD because I know how much you hate being talked to on long car rides. Remember that trip we took to the Kane’s cabin when we were thirteen and Lilly was being a bitch and Duncan was sleeping? We shared headphones and curled up in the backseat listening to music. This CD has every song we listened to that day, so enjoy the flashback.”

The first song starts playing and Opie says:  
“How does he remember every song you listened to on a random road trip four years ago?”  
I laugh and say: “Welcome to life with Logan. He remembers everything.”  
“Everything?”  
“The homecoming before Lilly died we were all drunk in a limo playing truth or dare. Lilly asked him what he thought of me the first day we met, and he not only answered the question but also described in vivid detail what I was wearing, how my hair was, and where on my body I had dirt. He remembers everything.”  
“Dirt?”  
“I was at soccer practice when we met. I was a bit of a tomboy back then.”  
“Maybe he just remembers everything to do with you.”  
“No. He remembers everything. He can tell you in great detail every conversation he’s ever had with someone. Every beating he’s ever taken from his Dad. What scars came from what. The color of the walls and the floor in his hospital rooms. What lie Aaron told the press to explain away Logan’s injuries.”  
“Jesus.”  
“So yeah, he could tell you exactly how he felt when we kissed that one time when we were thirteen, but he could also walk you through the first time Aaron almost beat him to death when he was seven.”  
“You love him.”  
“He’s my best friend. We lost each other for a while, but I’m really glad we found each other again.”

He reaches over and takes my hand, intertwining our fingers.  
“What about you, baby? What do you remember?”  
“Important things. Not necessarily things I think are important in the moment, but things that end up being important. I could tell you every word of my first conversation with Jax. The music playing in the background, the drinks we had at the coffee shop, how uncomfortable the chairs were…everything. I remember every detail of the first time I met Eli on the playground when I was seven, and every moment of my first interaction with Logan when I was twelve. I remember everything about the day Logan chose Lilly and the day Duncan broke up with me. I remember everything about the day Lilly died, including every detail of the crime scene and her body. But I could also tell you, in great detail, everything about the day Abel was born, and the first time I saw you. The first conversation we had…the first time you touched me. I remember the first time I met Ellie and Kenny. Ellie was playing in the yard and she tripped over a rock and scraped her knee. She didn’t go to you or Donna or Jax. She climbed onto my lap and said: ‘Aunty Ronnie, make it better’.”

I’m crying now. I can’t help it. He squeezes my hand and says:  
“Why are you crying baby?”  
“Because I can’t make this better for her. This isn’t a scraped knee I can kiss and bandage. I can’t fix this.”  
“There’s a pullout right here. Pull over.”

I pull over and put the car in park before turning it off and turning to face Opie.  
“Take off your seatbelt and come over here babe.”  
I take my seatbelt off and climb over the centre console into his lap. He wraps his arms around me and says:  
“No-one is expecting you to fix this for the kids, baby.”  
“I know that, but I want to. I want to be able to hold them and make everything better. But I know I can’t. I know that no matter how much I love them, I can’t give them their Mom back. I don’t have it in me to be Donna…she was this amazing Mom and I’m…not.”  
“Veronica. Donna wasn’t always the Mom you knew her as. When Ellie was a baby, Donna doubted herself all the time. She learned how to be a Mom as the kids got older. You’re only 17, baby. No-one expects you to be the perfect Mom. You love us, you love Abel, you love Ellie and Kenny. That’s all that matters.”  
“Ope…I am afraid I will end up like Lianne. I never wanted kids…And now I’m going to try to raise five of them? What the hell are we thinking? From a very young age I knew that there was a very high probability that I would end up as a miserable drunk who was incapable of taking care of the people that depended on me. I’m afraid that I will damage the kids more than losing Donna already will.”

I realize that I’m spiralling about the same time he does. He tightens his arms around me and presses his lips into my hair.  
“My sweet girl…I don’t even know where to start with that nonsense. You are nothing like Lianne. She started drinking because she lost Jake. Unfortunately that meant that you and Keith had to deal with her. But Jax and I are not going anywhere. You are not doing this alone, and we will not let you turn into Lianne any more than we’d let you turn into Gemma. The idea that you would damage the kids is absolutely ridiculous and you will realize that once you hold them in your arms again.”  
“You really think so?”  
“Yes my baby. I do.”

I shift in his lap so I’m straddling him and then kiss him, running my hands through his hair. I pull away slightly and say:  
“I love you.”  
“I love you. We should get going though.”  
“Before we go, can we…?”  
“You want to have sex? In the car, on the side of the freeway?”  
“I’m already on your lap and I’m wearing a dress with no panties.”  
He groans and says:  
“You’re gonna kill me Veronica.”  
“I’m sorry, can the old man not keep up? Because if that’s the case, you can drive and I’ll just sit in the passenger seat and touch myself.”  
“I am not old, little girl, and I can definitely keep up. It’ll have to be fast and dirty though since we really do need to get going.”

I shift back towards his knees and undo his pants. He lifts his hips slightly so I can pull his pants down a bit, then I move forward and sink down onto his cock. We find a good rhythm and I tangle my hands into his hair and pull hard enough to make him gasp. He reaches down and rubs my clit while he kisses me and runs his teeth along my jaw. He growls:  
“Come for me baby.”  
I come gasping his name against his ear. He follows me over the edge while saying:  
“Veronica, I love you so much.”  
I kiss him and say:  
“I love you…More than anything.”  
He nuzzles into my neck and whispers:  
“Well, not more than anything.”  
“Valid. I may love our kids more than you…and Jax an equal amount. But I love you more than anything else.”  
“Our kids?”  
“Sorry…It just came out. Obviously I meant your kids and Abel.”  
“No, babe. You misunderstand. I love hearing you call them our kids.”  
“I had a thought about the kids and I after I marry Jax.”  
“And what was that my love?”  
“That we should change our last names to Winston-Teller. That way we are all obviously connected.”  
“I love that idea. Have you talked to Jax about it?”  
“Not yet.”  
“Well, we should definitely do that when we get home. Now, do you have panties you can put on so I don’t have to think about you sitting over there without any?”

I laugh and say:  
“Of course.”

I climb off his lap and he pulls his pants back up. I get out of the car and walk around to the trunk. I grab a pair of panties from the bag and walk back over to Opie’s door. While I’m shielded by the car I pull the panties on.  
“Am I driving or are you?”  
“I will.”

He gets out of the car and kisses me before walking over to the other side. I get in the passenger seat and laugh at him as he tries to get in the driver’s seat without moving the seat back.  
“Jesus Christ. Why are you so tiny?”  
“Why are you such a giant?”  
“You like that I’m a giant.”  
“This is an accurate statement.”

He starts driving and I switch the CD from Logan’s to Dick’s. Dick’s voice comes on saying:  
“Hey Ronnie. Do you remember that school dance we went to together before you started dating Duncan? Sometimes I wish that I had followed my instincts that night and kissed you…But Lilly threatened to kill me if I did, and she was crazy scary. God, I hope Jax isn’t listening to this, he’ll kill me…Anyways, the whole CD is the music they played at dances that year, so hopefully you like it.”

The music starts playing and I wipe a tear from my cheek.  
“Did Dick’s random babbling make you cry?”  
“No. This song. It was playing at the party in Seattle when Lamb came up to me.”

He reaches over and skips the song.  
“Talk to me babe. You said you remember everything about the first time you saw me. Tell me.”  
“Don’t you remember?”  
“Of course I remember. I just want to hear it from you. Please Ronnie.”

I curl up in my seat facing him and say:  
“I was at the coffee shop with Jax. We had been there for three hours at that point I think. His phone rang and when he answered it he said: ‘Fuck off. I just met the girl I’m going to marry.’ You managed to convince him to bring me to the apartment you guys were renting so you could meet me.”  
“I told him that he’s not allowed to declare that he’s going to marry someone without his best friend’s approval.”  
“Did I earn your approval?”  
“Oh, baby…I wanted to tell him there was no way he could marry you…From the second you walked in the door all I wanted to do was take you out of his arms and bury myself inside of you.”  
“Well, that explains why you just stared at me all night and didn’t speak to me. You guys had that awful sectional couch…It was that puke green colour and the fabric was scratchy against the back of my legs. You sat clear on the other end of it from me. When you spoke to Jax, your voice sent shivers down my spine. All I wanted was for you to whisper in my ear. Your hair was shorter then, only a few inches long. You were wearing this light grey tank top that hugged all your muscles and black jeans. I spent most of the night staring at your tattoos, wanting to take your shirt off so I could see them all.”  
“You were wearing that dress…It was like, a royal blue colour and had that corset top with the black ribbon that pushed your breasts up, and it was short…So short. Every time you shifted in your seat or recrossed your legs I could see your red lace panties. That’s why I stayed on the other side of the couch.”  
“So I was innocently sitting on the couch and you were looking up my skirt all night? So when you left the room for all that time…what were you doing?”

He shrugs and says:  
“Jerking off.”  
“Your best friend brought home a girl saying that she was the one he was going to marry and you not only looked up her skirt all night, but also went and jerked off? Wow, buddy.”  
“Oh shut up. Like you’re so innocent. You were there with my best friend and were thinking about taking my shirt off and having me whisper in your ear.”  
“Every time.”  
“Every time what, baby?”  
“Every time I saw you, all I wanted to do was touch you. Run my hands over you, have you hold me and whisper in my ear in that deliciously gruff voice of yours. I wanted Jax, I loved him, but…God, Opie. I wanted you.”  
“How long?”  
“How long what babe?”  
“How long did you have those feelings for? When did you stop wanting me?”  
“Never. I never stopped wanting you.”  
“So when you and Jax split up, why?”  
“You were married Ope. And Jax’s best friend…Tacoma Sons seemed like safer bets than you.”  
“I hate that there are SoA members out there that have tasted you. Will you please tell me who?”  
“No. I won’t.”  
“Then tell me about the first conversation we had, because I don’t actually remember.”  
“I was about three months pregnant. It was a couple of days after my abortion appointment that I couldn’t go through with. I was at your apartment, lying on the couch. Lee had called Jax to the clubhouse for something, so I was reading a book. You weren’t supposed to be at the apartment. You were supposed to be home, in Charming, but you had decided to stay in Tacoma. I think you and Donna were fighting about something. When you walked in the door, it scared me. We had never been alone before then. You sat on the coffee table next to me and asked me what I was reading. It was some trashy romance novel, full of gratuitous sex, and probably not appropriate for a teenager to be reading. I remember blushing while trying to explain what the book was about, because the whole time I was reading it I was imagining you and me as the leads. You left the room for a bit, I heard you arguing with Donna on the phone and when you came back you were sad. You asked how I was feeling and we talked about my morning sickness for a while. You told me that the thing that helped Donna the most with her morning sickness was sex…So thanks for that, because it was basically the only thing that helped when I was sick my entire pregnancy. When Jax got back you disappeared and I didn’t see you again for like four months.”  
“You remember how long it was between visits?”  
“Yes. I missed you. A couple of times when Jax got called to the clubhouse I went in your room and laid in your bed just so I could smell you…That sounds really creepy. Pretend I didn’t say that.”  
“That explains so much.”  
“What?”  
“I thought I was losing my damn mind. Every time I would get back to Tacoma I could have sworn my bed smelled like marshmallows and coconut cookies. I thought I just wanted you so badly that I was imagining your scent in my bed.”

I notice that the CD is repeating, so I take it out and put in Casey’s. I skip his introduction and turn down the volume a bit.  
“Ugh…So much better. Who made this CD?”  
“Dude named Casey. We used to be friends.”

He reaches out and runs his fingertips over my cheek.  
“Talk to me about the first time I touched you babe.”  
“It was the day Abel was born.”  
“There’s no way I managed to keep my hands off of you until the day Abel was born.”  
“Seriously. It was the day Abel was born. I remember because I had wanted your hands on me for so long, and when you finally touched me I almost cried. Jax was delayed getting to the hospital, so he called you…you got there hours before he did. You came in the room with me and the very first time you touched me was to stroke my hair while you whispered that it would all be okay. That you wouldn’t leave me until Jax was there. For the next two hours you held my hand, stroked my hair, and whispered calming words to me. After Abel was born you kissed me and told me I did so good. Then Jax got there and you disappeared. I cried, and Jax thought it was because I was upset with him for missing Abel’s birth, but it wasn’t. I cried because you were gone. I wanted you there with us. I wanted you to hold my hand and kiss me and tell me everything was okay…But you left.”  
“I was in the waiting room. I thought I was just a stand-in for Jax, so when he got there I left the room, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave the hospital and when he left a little while later I went back in the room.”  
“You did?”  
“Yeah. You and Abel were both asleep. I climbed onto the bed and wrapped my arms around you. I didn’t want you to be alone. You mumbled my name and shifted closer to me, so I figured you knew it was me.”  
“I must have recognized your scent in my sleep. You weren’t there when I woke up though.”  
“Kozik got there. He told me I needed to seriously think about what I was doing. Reminding me that my best friend considered you to be his old lady and that I was married with kids.”  
“So you left me again.”   
“Yeah, I did. I went home to Charming and didn’t come back to Tacoma until after Jax had been home with Abel for a few months.”  
“When you came back I was staying with Kozik because things with Lee had gotten really bad. I came to the clubhouse after school one day because I didn’t want to be alone, and Lee never touched me in public, so I knew I was relatively safe there. I walked in, and there you were…Sitting on the couch.”  
“You were wearing these light blue, low-rise jeans that hugged every curve of your hips, and a tight, black, crop-top sweater. You had bruises though. Fingerprint bruises on your stomach and your face was bruised like someone had punched you.”  
“My cheekbone had barely healed after Lee broke it. The bruise was just taking it’s sweet time to fade.”  
“Lee broke your cheekbone?”  
“Yeah. I fought back one night. He punched me in the face until I lost consciousness. In the process he broke my cheekbone.”  
“The first thought that went through my mind was that you had a new boyfriend. I wanted to hurt whoever put those bruises on you.”  
“No boyfriend…Just Lee.”  
“I expected you to ignore me, but you walked over and sat on my lap.”  
“I still wanted you. I saw you, and the only thought in my brain became: ‘get as close to him as you can’. So I did. I walked over and straddled your lap. You put your hands on my hips and were leaning in like you were going to kiss me when Kozik yelled at me.”  
“I was actually going to suggest we go back to the apartment, because all I could think about was getting you alone and naked.”  
“Kozik was pissed. When he pulled me away from you he actually bruised my arm. It’s the only time he’s been even slightly violent with me. He dragged me out of the clubhouse and yelled at me to go back to his apartment. He told me if I wanted to fuck someone I needed to go find a random guy and not someone in the club.”  
“Did you?”  
“No. I went back to his apartment, climbed into bed and cried. When he got home later he sat on the edge of the bed and apologized for hurting me. When he tried to touch me I flinched…I’ve never seen him as hurt as he was in that moment. The idea that I was afraid of him broke his heart. When he was out the next day I moved back in with Lianne. I didn’t talk to him again until Lianne finally broke up with Lee.”  
“After he dragged you out he told me not to come back to Tacoma. That my being there would make things worse for you. I didn’t know what he meant. If I had known what Lee was doing to you, I never would have left.”  
“It’s not your fault, Ope.”  
“How would my being there make things worse?”  
“Lee got more violent with me when he thought I was having sex with someone other than him. He was an extremely possessive rapist. Kozik told me later that he was afraid if Lee saw me with you that he’d kill me.”

He reaches over and holds my hand, intertwining our fingers.  
“I wish you had told me. I would have taken you away from there.”  
“And done what? Taken me to Keith in Neptune? If he had wanted me to come home, he would have come to get me…Or at least asked me to come home. Or would you have taken me to Charming? I couldn’t go to Charming, Jax didn’t want me there with him, at least, I didn’t think he did. I couldn’t go to Charming with you, you were married.”  
“I would have done something!”  
“You would have killed Lee and been excommunicated from the club for killing a president without club approval. I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t put you at risk like that. Kozik made that perfectly clear to me.”

He squeezes my hand and grumbles:  
“Would have been worth it.”  
“No, it wouldn’t have. The club is your life, your family.”  
“You are my life, my family.”  
“Now. But I wasn’t then Opie. You would have thrown your whole life away to protect someone you barely knew. I couldn’t let you do that.”

He’s silent for a long time until he pulls into a gas station. He turns off the car and looks at me.   
“Veronica…From the day I met you I would have happily walked away from the club if that’s what it took to protect you. If you had told me what Lee was doing I would have shot him in the fucking head in the middle of the clubhouse. The fact that the Tacoma members knew and didn’t do anything makes me want to kill them all. The fact that Kozik didn’t do anything is even worse.”

He gets out of the car and I roll my eyes as I get out too. I walk around the car and wrap my arms around his waist.  
“I need you to breathe honey. It’s over. It’s done. He’s dead and I’m fine. Just breathe. I’m going to go in and pay for gas and get snacks. What do you want?”

He sighs and says:  
“Trail mix and iced tea.”

I go in the store, collect snacks and then pay for them and the gas before I use the washroom. When I get back outside I kiss Opie’s cheek as he pumps gas and get in the driver’s seat, adjusting everything before Opie gets back in the car.

He gets in the passenger seat and says:  
“So you’re driving now, huh?”  
“Yes. It’s safer for everyone if the angry man isn’t behind the wheel.”  
“Fair enough. Can I pick a CD?”  
“As long as it’s the one from Mac.”  
“Subtle dear.”

He puts in the CD as I drive out of the gas station. Mac’s intro comes on and Opie says:  
“Oh. Mac’s a girl.”  
“Yeah. She’s the chick with blue hair. She was at Logan’s and was at my forced movie night.”  
“Oh, yeah. She’s cute.”

I raise an eyebrow at him and he quickly says:  
“Just an observation babe. Besides, I’m pretty sure she’s fucking Dick.”  
“Pretty sure you’re wrong. He calls her Ghost World.”  
“Maybe it’s a strange term of endearment?”  
“Uh-huh. Yeah. That seems legit.”  
“Okay, fine. I called it wrong.”

My phone rings in my purse and I say:  
“Babe, can you answer that?”  
He digs through my purse and pulls my phone out. He answers it on speaker:  
“Hello?”  
“Uh…Who is this?”  
“Who is this?”

I shake my head and say:  
“Vinnie…What the hell do you want?”  
“Who’s the scary sounding dude, V?”  
“None of your business. What do you want?”  
“Remember when I gave you that information about the PCHers and the Fitzpatricks?”  
“Yeah, Vinnie. It was like a week ago. You said I owed you and now you clearly want something, so WHAT DO YOU WANT?”  
“Rude, Veronica.”  
“Vinnie, you have thirty seconds before I hang up and call my Dad and your Mom and tell them both that you are harassing me.”  
“Okay, okay, V. No need to threaten me with Mama. I need to know what happened to Liam. The Fitzpatricks are in disarray and I haven’t gotten paid.”  
“I don’t know Vinnie. I don’t keep tabs on Neptune’s sociopaths. That’s your job.”  
“See…I don’t believe you Ronnie. I think one of those bikers you are fucking killed him.”  
“Vinnie, my guys aren’t killers. I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t know what happened to Liam. Have you tried talking to the Sheriff? Maybe he can find Liam for you.”  
“Where are you right now Veronica?”  
“Driving past Reno at the moment. But I promise, Liam’s not with me. The last I saw him he was loudly pondering if I taste the same as Lilly. I haven’t been near him since.”  
“I need your help to find him Veronica. He’s fascinated by you. He’ll come out of hiding if I dangle you in front of him.”  
“Ugh…Vincent. You are a fucking private investigator. If you have lost someone, find them yourself. It’s kind of what you do. Goodbye.”  
“Okay…I’ll go talk to the sheriff. While I’m there I’ll be sure to let him know that Weevil killed Thumper.”  
“I see what you’re trying to do, but if Eli killed Thumper it has nothing to do with me. Feel free to tell the sheriff whatever you think you need to tell him.”

I hear Eli in the background say:  
“That’s hurtful V.”  
“Oh shut up. He’s Vinnie. If he knew you killed Thumper he’d hold it over your head for eternity, not turn you in to the sheriff. I’m not playing this game with the two of you.”

As Vinnie and Eli start talking again I say:  
“Ope, just hang up.”

Opie hangs up and puts the phone back in my purse.  
“So who is Liam, and what happened to him?”  
“Liam was the head of the Fitzpatricks…an Irish family that deals drugs in Neptune. He was a bit of a sociopath and Lilly used to fuck him. When I got back to Neptune he was extremely eager to let me know that if I wanted to be like Lilly that I should start fucking him too.”  
“And what happened to him?”  
“Jax and Leo.”  
“When?”  
“Night before the vote about Aaron. Liam grabbed me when I was alone. Thankfully Jax was on the phone.”  
“Why the hell were you alone?”  
“That was the night we got Leo on board. Jax said some things to him that upset me…He reminded me of Lee. I took off. Decided I would run home. Kozik found me, I refused to go with him but he gave me my phone. Liam grabbed me while I was stopped.”  
“What did Jax say?”  
“It doesn’t matter.”

He growls and says:  
“Yes it does. If he reminded you of Lee, it fucking matters.”  
“He just needed to see how much Leo loves me. It’s fine. We’ve talked about it.”  
“Just tell me.”  
“Opie. I don’t need you to protect me from Jax. Just like I don’t need him to protect me from you. We’re in a relationship. We are occasionally going to say things that upset one of the others. I’m okay. I promise.”

My phone rings again and he answers it without prompting:  
“Hello?”  
“Uh….Ronnie?”  
“Hey Dick. What do you want?”  
“I was wondering if we could have a party at your place tonight?”  
“Dick, you live in a mansion. Have your party there.”  
“Yeah, but if we have the party there Logan will end up fucking Kendall again.”  
“Dick…He’s going to end up fucking her again anyway. He’s a horny teenage boy and she’s a whore.”  
“How are you okay with this?”  
“Why wouldn’t I be?”  
“You used to be in love with him!”  
“I was thirteen, Dick. I’ve moved on since then.”  
“There’s no way those old guys are satisfying you…Oh, I get it. That’s why you’re fucking both of them.”  
“Dick…One of these days you are going to say something that gets you stabbed, and I’m just going to say ‘I told you so’. I’ve fucked teenage boys. Trust me, Jax and Opie are worlds better than even the best teenager.”  
“If they are so great, why are you fucking both of them?”  
“If you’re given the option to have steak and lobster, why would you decide to just have one? Besides, I’m in love with both of them, so there’s that. It’s not all about the sex.”  
“I get Jax, he’s fucking hot. But I don’t get the Opie thing.”

I laugh and say:  
“Dick, I didn’t realize you finding my significant other attractive was a requirement.”  
“Seriously, explain it to me.”

Opie laughs and says:  
“Yeah, babe. Explain it to him. Make him understand why you wanted to fuck me within five minutes of meeting me.”

I roll my eyes and say:  
“Fine. I have never been as attracted to someone as instantly as I was with Opie. It’s like every cell of my body was screaming for him. I like that he’s a fucking giant, I love his beautiful muscles, his kind eyes, and his gravelly voice. I love the way he smells and how his lips feel on mine. I love how safe I feel in his arms, and how just being near him calms me down.”  
“Damn. So you weren’t as instantly attracted to Jax?”  
“Oh, I was. It just was a more normal attraction, and not my body physically needing him to touch me. I mean, you’ve seen Jax. He’s beautiful, and funny. I was definitely attracted to him. It was just different.”  
“Isn’t Opie married?”

Opie clears his throat and says:  
“I was…my wife overdosed yesterday. We’re actually in the car on the way to Boise to pick up my kids.”

Dick is quiet for a moment and then he says:  
“Opie…I’m sorry. What can we do?”  
“Don’t throw a party in our house?”  
“Oh, well, yeah. Obviously. Anything else?”  
“Not right now, man. Aside from maybe telling everyone not to call Ronnie until tomorrow night? We’re going to have our hands full tonight with the kids.”  
“Yeah. Will do.”  
“Thanks Dick.”

Opie hangs up and the phone rings again immediately.  
“Don’t answer it. They’ll leave a message.”  
“It’s Kozik. I’m answering it.”

He answers the phone and holds it against his ear.  
“Kozik.”  
…  
“She’s driving.”  
….

I sigh and say:  
“Goddamn it, Opie. Put it on speaker.”

He puts it on speaker and I hear Kozik say:  
“Where are you going?”  
“Boise.”  
“Why?”  
“To pick up Ope’s kids. Donna overdosed.”  
“Shit. I’ll let you guys go.”

Opie says:  
“Wait. I have a question for you first.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Why didn’t you do anything about Lee when he was raping Ronnie?”  
“He was my president Ope. There was nothing I could do.”  
“Bullshit. You could have called Clay. You could have called Keith. You could have let me stay to protect her. You could have let her tell me. There was plenty you could have done. Hell…You could have called Lamb! Even he would have put a fucking stop to it. You claim to love her, but you let that asshole hurt her for MONTHS.”  
“I thought of all those things. Nothing would have worked.”  
“Why?”  
“Clay knew. He forbid Jax from coming back to Tacoma because he was afraid Jax would kill Lee and end up excommunicated. Keith knew something was happening, he made no effort to take Veronica away. He was having a rough couple of years himself. Lamb would have taken the opportunity to integrate himself in Veronica’s life and he had raped her once already. And you couldn’t stay because if Lee had realized how much Veronica wanted you he would have killed you and then her. I know you don’t agree, but I was trying to protect Veronica. Staying close to her was the only way I could protect her even a little bit. Lee couldn’t see me as a threat.”  
“Did you think to call child protective services? They could have taken her away from Lianne.”  
“…No. I didn’t think about that. Shit. That would have worked.”

I speak up:  
“No, it wouldn’t have.”  
“Why?”  
“Because Lianne was brilliant at pretending to be a great Mom. They never would have removed me from her care. It would have just pissed Lee off.”

They’re both quiet for a minute and I say:  
“It’s over. Lee is dead, I’m fine. I need everyone to stop bringing him up. Please. Let it go.”  
Opie looks at me and says:  
“Okay. I’m sorry love.”  
Kozik says:  
“Ronnie…Are you okay to be driving kiddo?”  
“Yeah. I’m fine.”

Opie hangs the phone up and puts it back in my purse before he says:  
“What can I do?”  
“Put the CD from Duncan on.”

He puts the CD in and Duncan’s introduction starts:  
“Hey sister. Everyone else went for typical road trip music or nostalgia. I decided to choose something that is guaranteed to make you happy.”

The first song starts and I realize it’s Josh Groban. I skip through the songs, and they are all Josh Groban. I skip back to the first song and let it play. I mutter, mostly to myself:  
“Well done big brother.”  
“Why Josh Groban?”  
“When Lianne was sober she would listen to him when she needed to relax. I guess it stuck. His voice just calms me…Stills my mind.”  
“I thought that’s what my voice was for.”  
“Uh…No. Your voice does not relax me or still my mind at all.”  
“Really? Then what effect does it have on you?”  
“You know exactly what your voice does to me. Now, shut up. I’m driving.”

He smirks at me and I turn up the music. We drive for the next while without talking. Me singing along to the music and him staring at me with this stupid grin on his face. A couple of songs bring tears to my eyes, and when I glance at Opie, he’s crying too.  
“Can I change the CD?”  
“Why?”  
“Too many damn emotions. I don’t know how this calms you.”

I laugh at him and say:  
“Music is supposed to make you feel things Ope. But yeah, go ahead.”  
He digs through the centre console and finds more CDs under the ones from the guys and Mac. He puts one in and presses play.  
“You turned off Josh Groban to put on a Christina Aguilera CD? Who are you?”  
“Someone who enjoys listening to you sing.”  
“I understand why you don’t like Josh Groban…Your ears don’t work.”  
“Snarky little girl. You should pull into the next rest area so I can drive for a bit.”  
“You can actually drive the rest of the way. I’m exhausted.”

When we get to the rest area I use the washroom and then curl up in the passenger seat. I don’t remember the rest of the drive. When I wake up we’re entering Boise.  
“Babe, we should go to the hotel and then I should go to Darlene’s on my own.”  
“No. We already passed the exit for the hotel anyways. We’ll go to the store to buy swimsuits first, then go get the kids, then go to the hotel.”  
“You think the kids will want to go swimming tonight?”  
“If there’s a pool, the kids are going to want to go in it.”  
“Okay.”

We get to the store and both go in. I pick out a swimsuit for Ellie and one for me, and Opie grabs one for Kenny and one for him. We meet back up at the front of the store, pay, and leave.

When we pull up to Darlene’s house I say:  
“Let me go in to get the kids on my own honey.”  
“Nope.”  
“You are difficult.”  
He just looks at me as he gets out of the car. He walks up to Donna’s car and takes the car seats out of it to transfer them into my car. I walk up to the front door and ring the bell. I hear Ellie inside yelling:  
“Aunty Ronnie’s here!”

When the door opens both kids launch themselves at me. I hold each of them in one arm and kiss their heads.  
“Oh babies. I missed you.”

I hear a voice say:  
“My God…You’re practically a baby yourself.”  
I look up to see an older version of Donna standing in front of me.  
“Hi Darlene. I’ll be 18 soon.”  
“What the hell is that idiot thinking? He left a grown woman for a child.”  
“Technically, she left him. Nothing happened between Ope and I until after Donna left.”  
“Yeah…Nothing. Except those bruises he left on you. How exactly did those happen?”  
“He was angry. He didn’t mean to hurt me.”  
“He shouldn’t have been touching you.”  
“You’re right, but we can’t change the past.”

I nudge both kids and say:  
“Babies, why don’t you go see Daddy? He’s putting your car seats in the car.”  
They both start yelling:  
“Daddy!”  
They run towards the car and Opie crouches down and collects them both in his arms. I turn back to Darlene and say:  
“I assume the kids have bags? Stuffed animals and such?”  
“Yeah. Come in and get them.”

I walk into the house and start picking up bags before Darlene stops me, grabbing my left hand.  
“What the hell is this? He proposed to you?”  
“No. Jax did.”  
“So you’re engaged to Jax and having sex with Opie?”  
“We’re living together. The three of us.”  
“I will be fighting for custody of my grandchildren. I cannot allow them to be raised in such a manner.”  
“You’re welcome to do that, but I should warn you. My father is Jake Kane, and I have no problem spending every penny of my trust fund to make sure that Opie gets to raise his kids. I’m sure we can come to a shared custody arrangement, with the kids joining you for some holidays and part of summer break.”  
“Someone has been learning from Gemma.”  
“There’s nothing wrong with doing whatever it takes to protect your family.”

I finish collecting the bags and say:  
“Is this everything?”  
“Yes.”  
“Thank you. And I am truly sorry about Donna. I loved her.”

I walk outside to put the bags in the trunk and say:  
“Kiddos, go say bye to Grandma.”  
While the kids are saying bye I open each of their bags and take out a stuffed animal, a set of pyjamas, and an outfit for tomorrow and put them in our bag along with the bag with the swimsuits.

When the kids come back, I buckle Ellie in and Opie buckles Kenny in. We get in the car and drive to the hotel.  
“I put stuff for the kids in our bag so we only need to bring the one in. Can you bring the kids and I’ll go check in?”  
“Yup.”

I walk into the hotel and approach the desk. I check in using my fake ID and get the room keys. Opie and the kids walk in as I walk away from the desk. I take Kenny out of Opie’s arms and we go up to the room. Once we’re in the room I say:  
“Ope, why don’t you take the kids to the pool while I call Jax? I’ll meet you down there.”  
“I have a better idea. Why don’t you call Jax and hang out with the kids while I walk over to Jack in the Box and get us dinner? After we eat we can all go swimming together.”  
“Oh. Yeah. Dinner would be good. I have cash in my wallet.”

He gets everyone’s orders, grabs a room key and some cash and leaves the room. I look at the kids and say:  
“Wanna see if there’s any cartoons on?”  
“Yes!”  
“Okay. Snuggle up on the bed with me.”

I sit in the middle of the bed with my back against the headboard and the kids curl up on either side of me with their heads on my thighs. I flip through tv channels until I find a kid’s show, then call Jax.  
“Hi baby.”  
“Hey. We’re at the hotel. We have the kids.”  
“How was Darlene?”  
“Judgmental. She threatened to fight for custody of the kids.”  
“And how did my protective girl react to that?”  
“I told her that she was welcome to do that, but that my Dad is Jake Kane and that I have no problem spending every penny of my trust fund to make sure that Opie gets to raise his kids. She accused me of taking lessons from Gemma.”  
“Ouch.”  
“I told her there was nothing wrong with doing whatever it takes to protect your family.”  
“Good girl.”  
“She also had some choice things to say about Opie and me. So…that was fun.”  
“She’s a bitch.”  
“She just lost her daughter. Cut her some slack. How’s Meg?”  
“Miserable. She won’t eat.”  
“Let me talk to her.”

I hear the phone being passed over and then Meg says:  
“Ronnie?”  
“Sweetheart, you have to eat.”  
“I’m too sick.”  
“Yeah…The baby doesn’t care. Get Jax to make you toast with a poached egg on it. It’ll give you some actual nutrition and it’s relatively easy on the stomach.”  
“Okay. What helped you the most with your morning sickness?”  
“Sex. Not really an option for you right now. Foot massages were nice too, but I left you with the dude with a broken arm…You could get him to call Juice. I’m sure he’d be willing to come over and give you a foot or neck massage. Both help.”

She lowers her voice to a whisper to say:  
“Do you think he’d come over and help me out with the sex thing?”  
“Probably, but my brother might have an issue with that.”  
“Ronnie, I’m so sick.”  
“Meg…Just hold out for another day. Duncan will be in Charming day after tomorrow.”  
“But, Ronnie…He’s so boring in bed.”  
“So we’ll get Jax and Opie to talk to him. And you and I still need to have our girl talk, so I’m sure I can help you with your end.”  
“I don’t think I’m the problem.”  
“Meg…How many guys had you slept with before Duncan?”  
“None.”  
“And did you ever masturbate?”  
“No.”  
“Then you don’t know what you like. If you don’t know what you like you can’t tell him what you like. So he can only base his decisions on what he likes, and I guarantee that it won’t be satisfying to you.”  
“Who was your first Ronnie?”  
“My first by choice was Jax.”  
“Did you know what you liked before that?”  
“Yes. Lilly insisted that I figure it out before I lost my virginity. She said she wanted my first time to be pleasurable, unlike hers, so I needed to know what I wanted.”  
“How did you figure out what you liked?”  
“Practice, love. On my own and with Lilly — she insisted that it was something best friends did.”  
“Can you help me?”  
“Yeah. I can. We’ll have a slumber party tomorrow night okay? Pizza and ice cream. We’ll leave the guys in charge of the kids and lock ourselves in your room.”  
“Thank you Veronica.”  
“Can I talk to Jax again?”  
“Yeah. Hang on.”

I hear the phone being passed over again and then Jax says:  
“What’s up babe?”  
“Does Luann still have her studio?”  
“Yes. Why?”  
“Do you have any of her movies? The newer ones? With Ima and Lyla?”  
“No. Those two are snakes.”  
“But they’re hot snakes that work exclusively as girl on girl.”  
“What’s your endgame here Veronica?”  
“Meg needs help figuring out what she likes. I told her I would help, but I’d rather find someone else to assist her. I’m not exactly comfortable with the idea of eating out my brother’s fiancée.”  
“Umm…Do I get a vote?”  
“No.”  
“Does my cock? Because it has a very strong opinion.”  
“Dirty old man. It’s not like I’d let you watch.”  
“I’ll call Luann. I’m sure she can suggest something that doesn’t involve Ima and Lyla anywhere near you.”  
“Lyla’s a sweetheart. It’s just Ima that’s awful.”  
“Yes, but if Lyla starts coming around, so will Ima. And Lyla has a thing for Opie.”  
“And Ima has a thing for you. I can take both of them. I’m not worried.”  
“I think the best option is for you to help Meg. I think bringing in any of Luann’s girls will scare Meg.”  
“Okay, well…Call Luann anyways. Maybe she can email me or text me with suggestions.”  
“Just don’t let her talk you into going to the studio. She will try making you her new star.”  
“Oh, yeah…That seems like something I would do.”  
“Well, you are planning on dabbling in girl on girl.”  
“I just want to help Meg figure out what she likes so she can tell Duncan.”  
“I’d really like you to rethink the decision to not let us watch.”  
“The two of you are not getting anywhere near a naked Meg.”  
“We can help!”  
“You can help by talking to Duncan. I will work with Meg.”

He goes quiet for a minute and then he says:  
“I miss you.”  
“I’ve only been gone 11 hours.”  
“And yet…”  
“I miss you too. And Abel.”  
“How are the kids?”  
“They are curled up against me right now. They were watching cartoons, but I think they’re asleep now. They seem to be okay, but we’ve only been together a short while.”  
“How’s Opie?”  
“I don’t know. I think he’s guarding his emotions more than usual because he’s worried about me.”  
“Why is he worried about you?”  
“I may have had a slight breakdown earlier. It’s fine. I’m fine.”  
“Let me talk to him.”  
“He’s not here. He went to get us dinner.”  
“He left you alone?”  
“I’m in a locked hotel room in Idaho. What’s going to happen to me?”

He growls and says:  
“Tell him to call me when he gets back to the room.”  
“Yes sir.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you, so very much.”  
I hang up and put the phone down on the bedside table. I then slide down so my head is on the pillow. I gently rearrange the kids so their heads are on my chest instead of my thighs and turn off the TV. 

When Opie gets back with dinner, Kenny is asleep and Ellie is close to it, but not quite there. I am stroking her hair and singing to her:

When darkness falls upon your heart and soul  
I’ll be the light that shines for you  
When you forget how beautiful you are  
I’ll be there to remind you  
When you can’t find your way  
I’ll find my way to you  
When troubles come around  
I will come to you  
I’ll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on  
Be your shelter  
When you need someone to see you through  
I’ll be there to carry you  
I’ll be there  
I’ll be the rock that will be strong for you  
The one that will hold on to you  
When you feel that rain falling down  
When there’s nobody else around  
I’ll be  
And when you’re there with no one there to hold  
I’ll be the arms that reach for you  
And when you feel your faith is running low  
I’ll be there to believe in you  
When all you find are lies

Opie puts the food down and comes and sits on the edge of the bed. He takes my hand and leans over to kiss my forehead. I finish singing to Ellie:

I’ll be the truth you need  
When you need someone to run to  
You can run to me  
I’ll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on  
Be your shelter  
When you need someone to see you through  
I’ll be there to carry you  
I’ll be there  
I’ll be the rock that will be strong for you  
The one that will hold on to you  
When you feel that rain falling down  
When there’s nobody else around  
I’ll be  
I’ll be the sun  
When your heart’s filled with rain  
I’ll be the one  
To chase the rain away  
I’ll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on  
Be your shelter  
When you need someone to see you through  
I’ll be there to carry you  
I’ll be there  
I’ll be the rock that will be strong for you  
The one that will hold on to you  
When you feel that rain falling down  
When there’s nobody else around  
I’ll be

When I finish singing, Opie leans in and kisses me.  
“You need to call Jax, Ope.”  
“Okay. I’ll do that now.”  
I hand him my phone and he dials Jax’s number and puts it on speaker.  
“Ope?”  
“Yeah. Ronnie said you wanted to talk to me.”  
“She had a breakdown earlier?”  
“Just a little one.”  
“That’s what she said. What was it about?”  
“Her ability to be a Mom. I reassured her that all Moms learn on the job. No-one expects her to be perfect right out of the gate.”  
“How is she doing now?”  
“Better. When I got back to the room from picking up dinner she had both kids snuggling with her on the bed and she was singing to Ellie…Kenny was asleep.”  
“Sounds like she’s figured this out.”  
“She loves them. That’s all that matters right now.”  
“How are you doing Ope? Ronnie says you seem to be more guarded than usual.”  
“Not great. Donna’s dead. I may not have wanted to be married to her anymore, but she was still Donna…You know?”  
“Yeah, I get it. You need to let our girl in. Let her comfort you. Let her help you. Let her mourn with you. She loved Donna too.”  
“I know. I will.”  
“Okay. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you. Drive safely, please? That car is going to be holding a bunch of my heart.”  
“We’ll be careful. We love you too. So much. Give Abel kisses for us.”

Opie hang up and says:  
“Both kids are asleep, Ronnie. Can you get out from under them?”  
“Yes. Of course I can.”  
I squirm out from underneath the kids and Opie and I get them changed into their pyjamas before tucking them into the bed.  
“Should we wake them up to eat?”  
“No. Let them sleep. They’ll wake up when they get hungry.”

I dig my pyjamas out of the bag, along with Opie’s pyjama pants. I take off my dress to get changed and Opie wraps his hands around my waist and whispers:  
“Let’s go in the bathroom. I really need to be inside you right now.”  
“Yes, please.”

We walk into the bathroom and he quickly takes off his clothes. I take my bra and panties off and his picks me up, sliding into me as he rests me on the edge of the counter. Once he’s in he stops all movement.  
“Ope, baby…I really need you to move.”  
“I just wanted to appreciate how it feels for nothing to be happening.”  
“Okay, well, you’ve felt it. Can you please fuck me now?”

He bites my shoulder and murmurs:  
“My impatient, insatiable girl.”  
I wrap my arms around his neck and run my fingers through his hair.  
“We don’t know how long we have before the kids wake up again Ope.”  
“Good point.”  
He kisses me and starts thrusting, fucking me hard and fast against the counter. We keep kissing to muffle our moans and after we orgasm his head falls to my shoulder. 

I start running my fingers through his hair again as his shoulders start to shake and he hugs me tighter.  
“Oh, my love. It’s okay. Let it out.”  
“Veronica…I don’t know if I can do this. Donna was the real parent. I was just the guy who showed up for story time occasionally.”

I pull his hair slightly to make him look at me and then I put my hands on his face, running my thumbs along his cheekbones.  
“Opie…What is it you said to me earlier? ‘You love us, you love Abel, you love Ellie and Kenny. That’s all that matters.’ We’ll figure things out together, my love. All of us will be learning as we go. All that matters right now is that we show those kids that they are loved and safe. That they still have us.”  
“Oh, my sweet girl. I love you so much. Thank you for be willing to take this on. They aren’t your kids, you could walk away if you wanted. You could tell me that you don’t want me, that this is all too much.”  
“You’re insane if you think I could ever walk away from you or those kids. I love you so much, sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe unless you’re touching me. It would be too much for me, but it’s not too much for us. We can handle it, we can handle anything as long as we’re together.”

He quickly moves closer to me and kisses me, long and deep, until we hear:  
“Daddy? Aunty Ronnie?”

I say:  
“We’ll be right there sweetheart.”

I kiss Opie again and then wrap a towel around my body before walking out of the bathroom. I pick up Opie’s pyjama pants and throw them to him in the bathroom before walking over to the bed and sitting next to Ellie. I rub her back and say:  
“Sweetheart…What’s wrong?”  
“I’m hungry.”  
“Well, that’s because you fell asleep before Daddy got back with dinner. Go sit at the table and I’ll get you your food okay?”  
“Okay.”

She gets out of bed and sits at the table. I put her dinner in front of her and walk over to my pyjamas to put them on. Once I’m dressed, I grab my dinner and sit down next to Ellie.  
“Aunty Ronnie?”  
“Yeah, baby?”  
“Are you dating my Daddy? Mommy told Grandma that Daddy fell in love with you.”  
“Yeah, sweetheart. I’m dating your Daddy. We’re all going to live together when we get back to Charming.”  
“If you’re dating Daddy, are you still Aunty Ronnie?”  
“You can still call me Aunty Ronnie if you want. Or just Ronnie if you would like that more.”  
“Can I call you Mama? Mommy said that when we went to visit Daddy that we should call you Mama, because you love us just the same as she does.”

I start crying and say:  
“Oh, sweetheart. Of course you can. If that’s what you want.”  
“Why are you sad?”  
“Oh, Ellie. I’m not sad. Sometimes people cry when they are really happy, or when they love someone a lot.”  
“I miss Mommy.”  
“I know sweetheart. Come here.”

I push back my chair a little and hold out my arms so she can climb onto my lap. I wrap my arms around her and she snuggles into me.   
“Will you sing to me?”  
“Sure kiddo.”

I start singing softly so I don’t wake Kenny up:

Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat?  
Wouldn’t you think my collection’s complete?  
Wouldn’t you think I’m the girl, the girl who has everything?  
Look at this trove, treasures untold  
How many wonders can one cavern hold?  
Looking around here you think  
“Sure, she’s got everything’  
I’ve got gadgets and gizmos-a-plenty  
I’ve got whozits and whatzits galore  
You want thingamabobs? I’ve got twenty!  
But who cares? No big deal, I want more  
I wanna be where the people are  
I wanna see, wanna see them dancin’  
Walking around on those - what do you call ‘em? Oh - feet!  
Flippin’ your fins, you don’t get too far  
Legs are required for jumping, dancing  
Strolling along down a - what’s that word again? Street  
Up where they walk, up where they run  
Up where they stay all day in the sun  
Wanderin’ free - wish I could be  
Part of that world  
What would I give if I could live out of these waters?  
What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?  
Bet’cha on land they understand  
Bet they don’t reprimand their daughters  
Bright young women sick of swimmin’  
Ready to stand  
I’m ready to know what the people know  
Ask ‘em my questions and get some answers  
What’s a fire and why does it - what’s the word? Burn?  
When’s it my turn?  
Wouldn’t I love, love to explore that shore up above?  
Out of the sea, wish I could be part of that world

She snuggles in closer to me and says:  
“I love Ariel. She’s my favourite princess. Who is yours Mama?”  
“I think Belle is my favourite. She is really smart and loves to read.”  
Opie comes up behind me and puts his hand on my shoulder before saying:  
“Jasmine’s my favourite. She’s got a pet tiger. That’s badass.”  
“Daddy, Mama was singing to me.”  
“Mama, huh?”  
“Yeah…Mommy told us that when we come to visit you we should call Ronnie Mama. I asked her if I could. She said yes.”

Opie runs his hand over my hair before kissing the side of my head and whispering:  
“I love you.”  
I look up at him and kiss him before saying:  
“I love you too.”  
I look back down at Ellie and say:  
“Okay, little girl. Time to finish your dinner.”  
She crawls off my lap and sits in her chair again. She starts to eat and Opie says:  
“Should I wake up Kenny?”  
“Yeah. He should eat something.”  
“So should you. You haven’t touched your dinner.”  
“I’m not really hungry babe.”  
“I don’t really care. Eat.”  
“You are bossy.”  
He whispers in my ear:  
“You cannot grow humans without eating, Veronica. Please don’t make a big deal of this.”  
“Fine. I’ll eat.”

He kisses the side of my head and says:  
“Good girl.”

Ellie and I eat our dinner while Opie tries — unsuccessfully — to wake Kenny up. When I finish eating I walk over to the bed and say:  
“Go eat your dinner Ope. I’ll wake the munchkin up.”  
“Good luck. Kid sleeps like the dead.”  
“I’m sure we’ll be grateful for that someday dear.”  
He smirks at me and walks over to the table.

I sit on the edge of the bed and rub Kenny’s back.  
“Little boy…It’s time to wake up to eat some dinner.”  
He whimpers in his sleep, so I lean over and kiss his forehead and cheeks.   
“Kenny…sweetheart. Come on, wake up for me.”  
“Aunty Ronnie?”  
“Yeah, baby. Come on, come have some dinner.”  
“I’m not hungry.”  
“I know, kiddo. But if you don’t eat now you’ll be hungry in the middle of the night. Come on, we got you chicken nuggets and apple slices. You’ll love it.”  
“Okay.”

He climbs out of bed and goes over to the table. I walk over to the bag we brought and dig through the shopping bag with the swimsuits to find the other purchase I made while we were there: toothbrushes and toothpaste for the kids. Then I grab my and Opie’s toothbrushes and toothpaste before saying:  
“Come on Ellie-girl. Let’s go brush our teeth before bed.”

Ellie and I brush our teeth and use the washroom, then we climb into bed, me on the edge and her towards the middle, curled up against me. We’re both asleep by the time Opie and Kenny come to bed. When I wake up a few hours later, Kenny is next to Ellie and Opie is on the other side of him, reaching one of his arms across both kids to grip my waist, and his other hand is intertwined with mine above the kids’ heads.

I carefully pull my hand free of Opie’s and then move his hand off of my waist before gently getting out of bed. I look at the clock on my way across the room and notice it’s 4:30 am. I quietly dig through the bag for my swimsuit and workout gear before heading to the bathroom to get changed. Once I’m dressed, I grab a room key and leave a note for Opie on the table next to his head.

I head downstairs to the pool and gym area. I go to the gym first and run 3 miles on the treadmill before going to the pool and swimming a few laps. When I’m done I wrap a towel around myself and grab my workout clothes before heading back upstairs.


	10. Day Ten

When I get in the room, I grab my clothes for today and walk into the bathroom to shower. I’m just stepping into the shower when Opie grabs my waist. He growls in my ear:  
“I woke up in a dark hotel room and you were gone.”  
“I left a note love.”  
“I thought you had changed your mind and left.”  
I turn around in his arms and put my hands on his face.  
“Never. I’m not going anywhere my love. And if I was, we’d have a conversation about it. I wouldn’t just disappear in the middle of the night. I just needed a run and a swim before being in the car for 10 plus hours.”  
“I need you…I want you. Please?”  
“Well, then…I guess you’d better take me.”  
“Thank God for shower quickies.”

He picks me up and slams into me while pushing me up against the wall of the shower. His fingers dig into my thighs and my nails rake along his shoulders as he fucks me. He bends his head and bites the sensitive spot where my neck meets my shoulder and I cry out as I orgasm. I bite his neck and pull on his hair as he gets close.  
“Harder, Ronnie.”  
I bite harder and tangle one hand in his hair to pull harder as I rake the nails on my other hand down his back. He orgasms with a groan. As he puts me down he says:  
“One of these days you might actually kill me.”  
“How are your ribs?”  
“Fine.”  
“Good. As far as the killing you thing goes…There are worse ways to go.”  
“Oh, most definitely. My dream is to die with my cock buried inside of you.”  
“Noted…Wash my hair?”  
“Happily.”

We’re done in the shower and standing in the bathroom drying off when Ellie comes in. We both quickly wrap towels around ourselves and she shakes her head at us as she sits down to go pee.  
“Daddy, I’ve seen you naked before. And Mama, I’ve seen naked ladies too. Not just Mommy.”

I eye Opie suspiciously and say:  
“Ellie baby, what do you mean not just Mommy?”  
“Grandpa watches movies with naked ladies touching each other. He only pauses them when we walk in the room.”  
“Ah. That’s nice.”

I look at Opie and say:  
“Maybe you need to have a talk with your Dad?”  
“Maybe you do. He won’t listen to me, but you yelling at him about watching porn while the kids are over? That he might listen to.”  
“Ugh. God save me from Winston men.”  
“You love us.”  
“I love you.”

Ellie washes her hands and leaves the room. I lean into Opie and kiss him.  
“Seriously…I love you. So much. And I probably don’t need to say this, but…you touching someone else, having sex with someone else, getting a blowjob or whatever…it’s all cheating.”  
“I know that babe. I wouldn’t. You know I wouldn’t.”  
“You kissed me multiple times when you and Donna were still together. You wanted to have sex with me. If Kozik hadn’t dragged me away, you would have had sex with me while you were still with Donna.”  
“You and Donna are not the same.”  
“I know. You had been with her for a really long time. You had kids with her. I’m just a teenage piece of ass. Just leave me before you have sex with someone else okay? I just don’t think I would survive you cheating on me.”

He grabs my upper arms and pushes me into the wall behind me. His jaw clenches and his eyes flash angrily. He speaks in a low, dangerous voice:  
“Listen to me very carefully Veronica. You and Donna aren’t the same because I loved her, but I feel like I can’t breathe without you. Since the moment I met you I knew that you were who I was supposed to spend my life with. I would never cheat on you. I will never touch another woman as long as you are mine. I love you and need you so much I’m willing to share you with my best friend just so I can have you. I stand by and let that cop of yours touch you and kiss you, because then he will protect you when I can’t. I will not stand by and listen to you refer to yourself as a teenage piece of ass. You are the love of my life. I understand that your depression and anxiety causes you to question things, but never question how much I love you.”

The anger leaves his face and he lets me go.   
“I’m sorry baby. I bruised you again.”  
I don’t say anything, and I can feel tears on my face. He puts his hand on my cheek and says:  
“I love you more than anything. Please don’t doubt that.”  
He drops his hand and leaves the room. I slowly get dressed and ready for the day, relishing the few minutes to myself. When I get out to the main room, Opie is dressed and he is in the process of dressing Kenny. Ellie is getting herself dressed, but the shirt she’s putting on has too many straps for her to navigate on her own, so I walk over to help her. Once we’re all dressed I repack the bag and say:  
“We should go downstairs and have some breakfast and then get on the road.”

I grab my purse and the room keys and do one last pass of the room to make sure we didn’t forget anything. We head downstairs and I say:  
“Take the kids to get breakfast. I’ll check out and meet you over there.”  
“Ronnie…”  
“I’m fine Ope. Go get the kids breakfast.”

I walk over to the desk and check-out and pay the bill before I walk over to the breakfast area. I grab myself a yogurt and a banana for breakfast and put a few muffins and apples in my purse for later. I make myself a coffee and walk over to the table, glaring at Opie when he raises an eyebrow at the coffee.  
“It’s a single cup. It’s not going to hurt anything. But I might hurt someone if I don’t get some caffeine in my system.”  
“I didn’t say anything Veronica.”

We eat our breakfast and head out to the car. I let Opie drive without argument, and I dig through the centre console for a CD. I find one with Eli’s writing on it. It simply says: ‘Happy music’. I put it in and Eli’s voice comes over the speakers saying:  
“When you are feeling overwhelmed or you just need cheering up…These songs always used to do the trick. Hopefully you still know all the words. And if not, just listen and remember all the times you forced me to sit through these movies. I know I hurt you, V. But I’m still the same guy who held you on my shoulders that day at the park so you could do the monkey bars without hurting yourself any more than you already had. You are one of my best friends. I love you.”

The first song starts playing and it’s from Cinderella. I start laughing and Opie looks at me and says:  
“That was Eli’s voice, wasn’t it?”  
“Yeah. It was. Logan didn’t tell me there was a CD from Eli.”  
“Why are you laughing?”  
“Because he filled this CD with music from Disney movies.”  
“How do you know?”  
“Because I’m pretty sure between the ages of 7 and 12 I made him watch them all hundreds of times.”  
“Why’d you stop at 12?”  
“He stopped being my friend. Started getting arrested. Discovered Lilly. He says he stopped coming around because I met Logan, but that’s not true. He stopped before the day I met Logan for the first time.”

I turn the music up so Ellie and Kenny can hear it properly and pull my phone out. I send a text to Eli saying: ‘Thank you for the CD…And yes, I still know all the words.’ His response is pretty much instant: ‘You’re welcome. I meant what I said. I do love you.’ 

I put the phone away and lean back in the seat to look out the window. After a few minutes, Opie reaches over and takes my hand, intertwining our fingers. I rub my thumb on the back of his hand and look at him before saying:  
“I love you.”

My phone rings in my purse and I lean forward to answer it.   
“Hey Meg.”  
She doesn’t say anything, she’s just sniffling.  
“Meg? What’s wrong?”  
“I did something stupid.”  
“You had sex with Juice, didn’t you?”  
“How did you know that that’s what I did?”  
“Easy play to call. Insanely sexy, age appropriate biker, and horny pregnant girl with a boring fiancé. Sorry babe. There was no way that wasn’t happening. He’s good, right? Provides lots of lovely orgasms.”  
“Oh my god. Yes. What do I do, Veronica?”  
“Well, first off…Don’t panic. Juice will go along with whatever you want. He’s pretty easy-going that way. I do have to ask though, how many hickies do you have? Because…Juice likes to mark his conquests.”  
“So many. What do I do?”  
“Ice packs. It’ll make the bruising go down. Then use make-up. You need a concealer with a green tint under your normal foundation. It should be good enough if someone doesn’t stare obsessively at you.”  
“I don’t have a concealer like that.”  
“Check my make-up kit. I should have one there, but if I don’t, get Jax to pick one up or get him to call Gemma. I know she has one.”  
“What do I do about Duncan?”  
“That’s your call Meg. It’s not my place to tell my brother you cheated on him.”  
“Kind of a judgmental statement.”  
“Kind of an accurate statement. You are engaged to Duncan and you had sex with Juice. That’s cheating.”  
“You’re engaged to Jax and you have so much sex with Opie.”  
“That’s different and you know it. The three of us are in a committed relationship. And even before we were, I had Jax’s permission to have sex with Opie. I never cheated. On the plus side, at least you cheated with Juice and not one of the older guys. Duncan will have an easier time with that.”  
“Tig’s kind of hot.”  
“No, Meg. Literally anyone but him. His sexual preferences run to the…illegal and disgusting. I love him, but do not, I repeat, do not, ever even think about having sex with him.”  
“Have you had sex with Leo?”  
“No…And that’s going in the opposite direction. You think the cop will give better orgasms than the biker?”  
“He’s pretty good looking.”  
“Leo’s hot, yeah. He’s also in love with me, so if that would be an issue for you, you may want to reconsider.”  
“You don’t know that.”  
“Yeah, I do. He’s flat out said it multiple times. It’s literally the whole reason he agreed to move to Charming and become a friend of the club.”  
“What do I do?”  
“We can talk this through tonight if you don’t panic yourself to death in the meantime. Maybe just stay away from Juice today.”  
“Why?”  
“Because the first 12 hours after having sex with Juice, all you’ll want to do is have more sex with Juice. Trust me. Just stay away for your own mental well-being.”  
“He’s helping Jax with the kids’ stuff.”  
“Damn. Hide in your room. Trust me, Meg.”  
“What causes that?”  
“It’s a combination of the mind-blowing sex and the irresistible urge to explore every inch of his gorgeous body with your tongue I think.”  
“Ugh. I have that urge. Why is he so gorgeous? Was he this gorgeous when he lived in Neptune?”  
“He was pretty hot when he lived in Neptune. He wasn’t this confident back then though, that plays a role. Also, he had less tattoos then.”  
“Maybe I can hide in your room…It has its own bathroom and it’s further away from the kids’ room.”  
“I have no problem with that. Just keep your horny hands off Jax.”  
“Yes ma’am…Although, goddamn he’s sexy.”  
“Yes, he is. But I will hurt you Meg.”  
“I know. I fear you, don’t worry.”  
“Good. Oh, and if you break and can’t resist Juice, no fucking him in my bed.”  
“Deal. Love you.”  
“Love you too.”

I hang up and look at Opie who is clenching his jaw and his hands are so tight on the steering wheel his knuckles are white.  
“What babe?”  
“You think Juice is gorgeous and insanely sexy?”  
“Yes. Because I have eyes. Also, I’ve seen him naked. He’s nice to look at.”  
“And you had the urge to run your tongue over his body?”  
“Yes. If I hadn’t had the urge I wouldn’t have said anything about it. Why is this bothering you so much? You knew I had sex with him.”  
“Yeah, but you’ve never really talked about it except that first day when you told Jax you wouldn’t do it again. I didn’t realize you liked it so much.”  
“It was good. Juice might be the best teenager I’ve ever slept with.”  
“So, I’m better?”  
“Yeah, dummy. You are. Stop being like this.”  
“So for 12 hours after having sex with him you just wanted to have more sex with him?”  
“Yeah. Up until the second you touched me. Then all I wanted was you. If you had kept kissing me instead of getting angry, I probably would have had sex with you right there outside Gemma’s house. Your hands made me feel safe like they always do, and then you kissed me like I was the oxygen you needed to breathe and I wanted you so much.”  
“I was tempted to take you to the truck instead of asking about the hickies and Juice, but I needed to know, so I stupidly asked, and then I got so jealous and angry. And then you were afraid of me. The look of fear and pain in your eyes when you came out of Gemma’s room broke my heart.”  
“I didn’t like being afraid of you Ope. You’re my safe space. You know, that day you came to Tacoma and I saw you at the clubhouse…that 30-60 seconds I was on your lap with your hands on me was the first time I felt safe since Jax left. It was the first time in months that I actually believed Lee couldn’t hurt me.”  
“Is that why you sat on my lap the night of the Aaron vote?”  
“Yeah. I was stressing out a bit. Jax tried to help, but his suggestion was just to put my badass bitch mask on. I was so happy when I saw you were sitting down with a drink. I knew I could make my desire to touch you seem innocent. If you had been standing up it wouldn’t have worked.”  
“Why do you feel safe with me? I mean, in Tacoma, we hadn’t really spent much time together.”  
“Ope, you were with me the whole time I was in labour with Abel. You held my hand and brushed my hair back and whispered to me. No-one in my life aside from Jax has ever done that for me. You comforted me for hours while I was in pain and didn’t have my Mom, or my Dad, or my best friend, or my child’s father with me. You stepped up and made me feel safe, protected, and loved. It’s really not surprising that that’s the role you’ve taken in my head. The safe place, the protector.”  
“I scared you this morning, didn’t I?”  
“Yes.”  
“I’m so sorry baby.”  
“I don’t want your apologies Opie. I want you to stop touching me in anger. When you are pissed off you just need to not touch me. Because every time you do, you hurt me.”  
“I don’t mean to.”  
“Whether you mean to or not, that doesn’t change the fact that you do.”  
“The problem is that I always want to be touching you.”  
“Sure…yeah. That’s the problem.”  
“Wow. Snark. Helpful.”

My phone rings in my purse so I reach for it.  
“Don’t answer it.”  
“It’s Clarence. I have to.”

I answer the phone:  
“Hi Clarence.”  
“Are you with Opie right now?”  
“Yeah. He’s driving. Hang on, I’ll put you on speaker.”

I put the phone on speaker and Opie says:  
“Hi Clarence.”  
“The lawyers have done the best they can with the charges pending against you. The DA won’t consider not trying you. Veronica’s statement helped, a lot. So the DA wants to offer you a plea deal before even filing the actual charges. You plead guilty to contribution to the delinquency of a minor and they’ll give you six months in prison. If you don’t take the deal they’ll charge you with sexual interference and statutory rape as well.”  
“Six months in prison?”  
“With good behaviour you could be out in three. You know that. This isn’t your first time.”

Before Opie can say anything I say:  
“Clarence, with Donna gone, who would get custody of the kids while Opie is inside?”  
“I believe custody reverts to Donna’s mother.”  
“Can we file paperwork to make me their legal guardian before he takes the plea deal?”  
“Yes. I will get it filed immediately if it’s what Opie wants.”  
Opie says:  
“Of course it is. As far as I’m concerned, Veronica is their step-mom. As far as the plea deal is concerned, can we call you right back?”  
“Of course.”  
“Thanks Clarence.”

I hang up and Opie says:  
“Call Jax. I need to know if I’ll have protection inside.”

I dial Jax’s number and put the call on speaker.  
“Hey beautiful.”  
“Jax.”  
“Oh, it’s you.”  
“Thanks, love you too.”  
“What’s up Ope?”  
“You know those charges Donna tried to screw me over with? Well, she’s succeeding. The DA is offering me a plea deal that would give me six months inside. If I don’t take it, they’re going to tack on statutory rape and sexual interference.”  
“Shit. Clarence says the lawyers think you should take it, right?”  
“Of course. But I need to know I’ll be protected inside.”  
“We’ll make sure you are. Between the club and Veronica’s resources we can get you protection from everyone.”

I speak up:  
“Do whatever you need to do, Jax. I’ll make sure the funds are available when we need them. We’ll call Clarence back and arrange for Opie to turn himself in to Unser.”  
“Okay. What about the kids?”  
“Clarence is filing the paperwork to make me their legal guardian right now.”  
“Okay. You call Clarence and I will get the protection in order.”  
“Thanks babe.”

We hang up and I say:  
“Ope, there’s a rest area coming up. We should stop so the kids and I can use the washroom and then I’ll drive for a while.”  
“Yeah. Okay.”

Once he’s pulled into the rest area and parked the car we both get out. I walk around the car to him and wrap my arms around him.   
“It’ll be okay sweetheart.”  
“It’s six months. While you’re pregnant. Right after my kids lost their Mom.”  
“Everything will be okay love. We’ll make sure you are protected, and you’ll be out in less than the six months. Jax and I will take care of the kids.”  
“I promised I wouldn’t leave you.”  
“This wasn’t your fault. You did not do anything wrong.”  
“But I promised I wouldn’t leave you.”  
“Opie. You have to take the deal or you’ll be away longer. It’s only six months. We can do this.”  
“I’ll miss your wedding.”  
“Only if you don’t get out early for good behaviour. Just be good and you’ll be home by Halloween.”

He runs his hands along my hair and onto my neck. He kisses me, deep and loving, before he says:  
“I love you. I can’t believe I have to be away from you for so long.”  
“I love you. It’s not that long. I promise.”  
I kiss him and then say:  
“You take Kenny to the bathroom, I’ll take Ellie, then we can get back on the road.”

Once we’re all back in the car, I adjust my seat and Opie calls Clarence. He puts it on speaker when Clarence answers.  
“When do I need to turn myself in?”  
“Tomorrow morning. You’ll turn yourself in to Chief Unser. You’ll be in Chino for the duration of your sentence.”  
“And the guardianship of the kids?”  
“A judge just signed off. Veronica Mars is now the legal guardian of Ellie and Kenny Winston.”  
“Thank you Clarence.”  
“So I can let the Chief and the DA know you will be there in the morning? Say, 9:00 am? If you fail to turn yourself in the deal is null and void and you will go to court for the additional charges as well.”  
“I understand. I will be there.”  
“Good. Now, Veronica?”  
“Yes?”  
“Tell Jax to contact me for the protection funds, not Jake. I will make all the arrangements.”  
“Thank you.”

Opie hangs up and sends Jax a text to call Clarence with all protection funds requests, then puts the phone back in my purse.

We drive for the next while in silence, holding hands. When we stop for gas, I take the kids to the washroom then give them muffins once they are buckled back into their seats. Opie takes over driving and once we’re back on the freeway he says:  
“You’re going to marry Jax while I’m inside, aren’t you?”  
“The plan is that we’re going to Vegas on my 18th birthday. We’re still going to have the big wedding in December though. I was thinking that one could be our ceremony too.”  
“So when I get out you’ll be Veronica Teller?”  
“No. I’ll be Veronica Winston-Teller. I’m taking your name too babe. I love you.”  
“Marry me. Today. Then we can get it annulled before your wedding to Jax.”  
“I can’t. Not without parental consent, and the parent has to be present.”  
“Damn it.”  
“Opie…With or without a marriage, I love you so much. We can stop and buy rings and exchange them tonight at the clubhouse if you want. In front of everyone. It won’t be a legal marriage, but I’d consider it just as binding.”

I sit and look at him for a second and then say:  
“I have an idea.”  
I grab my phone and call Clarence:  
“Veronica?”  
“Hey Clarence. What’s required for a legal name change?”  
“A form filled out, a fee paid, and then it to be approved before new ID is issued. You want to change your last name to Winston?”  
“Yeah. Once I marry Jax, it’ll be hyphenated, but for now, just Winston.”  
“I will get the paperwork filled out and your father’s signature. I’ll let you know once it’s been approved.”  
“Thank you.”

I hang up and place the phone on my lap.   
“You’re changing your name?”  
“Yup.”  
“But, you love being a Mars.”  
“My last name being Winston won’t make me any less of a Mars. Plus, Clarence won’t be able to call me Miss Kane anymore.”  
“God, I love you.”  
“I love you. Hey look, a mall. Stop and I’ll run in and buy rings.”  
“Okay.”

He hands me his wedding ring from Donna and says:  
“Take this one for sizing purposes.”  
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”

I grab my purse and head into the mall. I find a jewelry store and walk over to the wedding band section. A woman walks up and says:  
“Do we know what we are looking for?”  
“Two men’s bands and two women’s bands, all matching. Preferably white gold.”  
As I say this, my eyes catch on two band sets, white gold, with intricate scroll work. One set has small inset diamonds and the other has small inset sapphires. The women’s bands are extra skinny, so I would be able to wear both at the same time. I point to them and say:  
“Those. Those ones right there are actually perfect. Can the sapphire men’s band be resized later?”  
“Yes. It can.”  
“Great. I need the women’s bands sized for my finger, and the diamond men’s band to be sized the same as this ring.”

I hold out Opie’s wedding band to her. Her eyes get big and she says:  
“Miss, those rings will cost you $6,000 plus tax.”  
“Yeah. Okay. You take credit I’m assuming?”  
“Yes. Of course. I just need you to pay before I can resize the rings.”  
“No problem.”

I grab my wallet out of my purse and take out the AMEX platinum card Jake gave me and pass it to her. She runs it and then hands it back to me and says:  
“Let’s try the women’s bands on you before I take your measurements. They may fit already.”

I take my engagement ring off and she slides the rings onto my finger. They fit perfectly, so we take them off and put them in their boxes and I put my engagement ring back on. I wait as she resizes Opie’s ring and then I leave the store with the rings safely inside my purse.

When I get out to the car, I hand Opie his wedding band and say:  
“Let’s go home babe.”  
“Don’t I get to see the rings?”  
“Tonight.”

I grab my phone and call Gemma.  
“Hi baby.”  
“Hi Gemma. I need your help.”  
“Is it to convince Clay of something? Because you know how stubborn he is.”  
“No, actually…This should be an easy ask. Opie and I are on our way back from Boise with the kids right now and we just found out that those charges Donna tried to make happen are happening. The DA offered a plea deal of six months for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. They said if he doesn’t take it they will add on sexual interference and statutory rape before taking it to trial. He’s taking the deal. He has to turn himself in tomorrow morning. What I need your help with is, we want to have a commitment ceremony tonight. Exchange rings, yadda, yadda. Not a wedding, because of the whole ‘I’m marrying Jax’ thing, but just something for us and the club to acknowledge that I’m his just as much as I’m Jax’s. I have the rings, but I need your help planning it since I’m in a car.”  
“Of course baby. You want to do it at the clubhouse or my house?”  
“The clubhouse works.”  
“Do you have a dress?”  
“No. But can I text you with what I’m kind of looking for? It might be hard to find.”  
“I’m up to the task.”  
“Awesome. Thank you Gemma.”  
“You’re welcome baby.”

I hang up and send Gemma a quick text describing the dress I want. I get a text back saying: ‘Are you sure about the colour?’ I reply back with: ‘Yes.’

I put my phone away and sit in my seat watching Opie drive.  
“You’re staring Ronnie.”  
“Just taking in the moment. I love you.”  
“Are you sure you want to do this? I won’t stop you if you want to walk away.”  
“I told you earlier, and I will keep telling you every damn day if I have to. I’m not going anywhere. There is no force on this planet that could make me choose to leave you. If you aren’t sure though, that’s another story. If you want me to go, I will.”  
“It’s not that baby. I love you, I want to be with you forever. I just can’t help but think that Jax and I aren’t what’s best for you. You deserve everything in the world, and having husbands that are in and out of prison isn’t fair to you.”  
“Ope. I don’t give a shit what’s best for me or what’s fair. This is the life I want. You and Jax are who I want. Would I rather you be at home with me and not in prison? Fuck yes. But I knew what I was signing up for.”  
“Oh, my sweet girl. It’s my job to worry about what’s best for you. Especially since you don’t give a shit about it.”  
“You’re welcome to worry about it, but for the love of God, stop asking me if I’m sure that you are what I want. Stop telling me that I can walk away. I am in love with you. Whether you are home or in prison, I love you. I am not going anywhere.”  
“Okay, baby.”  
“I’m going to take a nap for a little bit if that’s okay. I’m exhausted.”

He reaches over and takes my hand.  
“Growing humans will do that. Get some sleep babe.”

I’m leaning back into the seat and starting to close my eyes when my text message notification goes off. I pick up the phone and see it’s a picture message from Gemma. It’s a picture of a dress she found. I respond saying: ‘It’s perfect. Thank you.’ I get another picture message a second later showing me a killer pair of heels. I send a message back saying: ‘Those might kill me, but they are fantastic.’ Her response comes in right away: ‘That was my opinion too. I also bought dresses and shoes for Meg and Mac — who, according to Meg, is the same size as you just bustier, and outfits for all three kids. All the clothes, make-up, and hair supplies are in the apartment at the clubhouse and all the guys have orders not to go in there.’ I reply with a simple thank you and put the phone down.

“What did Gemma want?”  
“To show me a picture of the dress she found for me.”  
“Are you going to tell me what it is?”  
“Nope. It’s a surprise. You’re going to like it though, I promise.”  
“Am I going to be able to get through the ceremony and party without wanting to tear it off of you?”  
“Doubtful. I’ve met you. I own very few outfits you don’t want to tear off of me.”  
“Do you own any? I didn’t think you owned any. I kind of always want to remove your clothes.”  
“See? So the dress has nothing to do with anything.”  
“I guess…It’s just you. Go to sleep my sweet.”

I must fall asleep pretty quickly after that because when I wake up, we are entering Charming.   
“Did we stop again babe?”  
“Yeah. You were completely asleep. I tried to wake you up.”  
“But the kids went pee?”  
“Of course. And Gemma called. She says she has everything ready for us, and Jax has taken Meg and Abel to the clubhouse. I have orders to take you and the kids there and then go elsewhere to get ready.”  
“When it comes to organizing events, no-one out does Gemma.”  
“Also, she’s bossy.”  
“Yes. It’s all part of her charm.”

When we pull into the lot at TM, Gemma and Luann are standing there waiting for us. I get out of the car and hug them both, saying:  
“I didn’t know you were coming Luann.”  
“I’m hair and make-up darling. Your dress shows a hell of a lot of skin, and you have a fuckton of bruises. I understand the appeal of rough sex, but maybe *slightly* gentler?”  
“Eh. A life without bruises is over-rated.”  
“Hence your need for me, my love.”  
“None of your girls are here, are they?”  
“Ima and Lyla wanted to come, so they’re inside.”  
“I want them gone. Lyla has a thing for Opie and Ima has a thing for Jax. I don’t want them here.”

Gemma says:  
“If you want them gone, make them leave. You are the future Queen. Make them respect you.”  
“Gemma, my patience is very thin lately. If I try to get rid of them and Ima says something, I’m going to punch her in the face and then Luann will lose filming days and I’ll have to reimburse her for time lost. And then I’ll have to explain to my Dad why I’m paying some of his money to a porn studio.”

Opie walks up behind me and says:  
“All of this sounds highly entertaining. Get rid of the whores, babe.”

I sigh and look at Luann.  
“How much would I owe you per day of missed filming? Just so I know how hard I want to hit her.”  
“Eh. I can film around her for a few days. Hit her however hard you need to baby.”

I turn to look at Opie and say:  
“Keep the kids outside.”  
“But…I wanna watch.”

Luann laughs and says:  
“I’ll watch the kids.”  
“Thanks Luann.”  
I walk into the clubhouse with Opie behind me and I immediately spot Jax sitting on the couch with that whore Ima on his lap. Juice grabs me as I start walking in and says:  
“He’s been trying to get rid of her without physically hurting her for the past ten minutes. Don’t be mad at him.”  
“Noted. I won’t kill Jax. Now let go of me.”

Juice lets go of my arm and takes a step back. I walk over to Jax and say:  
“Hey babe. Where’s Abel?”  
“Hi beautiful. In the apartment with Meg.”  
“Okay. And what exactly is this whore doing on your lap?”  
“I have no idea, baby. She won’t go the fuck away.”  
“Shall I?”  
“Please.”

I reach out and grab Ima’s hair, wrapping my fingers in it for extra pulling power, and yank with everything I have, pulling her off of Jax’s lap and letting go as she slams into the ground. Her face makes a delightful crunching sound when it hits the floor.   
“What the fuck? You don’t get to decide where I’m allowed to be. Besides, isn’t tonight about you and Opie? What do you care what Jax does?”  
“Ima…Opie and Jax are BOTH mine. I prefer whores to keep their hands off of my men.”

I raise my voice a little and say:  
“That goes for you too, Lyla. Take one more step towards Opie. I dare you.”  
Lyla stops walking and I say:  
“Now…The two of you are going to get the fuck out. You will not come near my family again. Do you understand me?”  
“Or what, bitch?”

I sigh and shake my head before putting my foot on Ima’s hand and pressing down.  
“Or I will make you extremely unattractive and you’ll only be able to work in strange fetish porn. Do I make myself clear?”  
“Yes. But you’re just an old lady. You don’t have any power here.”  
“Bitch, I am the future Queen. You will show that title some fucking respect. Now get the fuck out and don’t come back.”

I step back from Ima and she gets up off the floor. She walks across the room and grabs Lyla’s arm, dragging her outside. The guys all start laughing and Jax pulls me into his lap. He whispers in my ear:  
“That was so hot, babe.”  
“You’re easily amused.”

Tig speaks up from a nearby table:  
“Nope. It was extremely hot.”

Opie walks over and pulls a chair in front of Jax and me before he kisses me.  
“Yeah…Hot.”  
“Ugh. Men.”

I hear Meg’s voice from the opening to the hallway:  
“Ronnie?”  
I stand up and walk over to her before saying:  
“What’s wrong?”  
“I’ve seen you be a badass bitch before, but I’ve never seen you hurt someone on purpose.”  
“We’ve been through this Meg. I’m not the same girl I used to be.”

A voice from behind me says:  
“Well, that’s obvious. You broke that chick’s face, V.”  
“She deserved it, Felix.”  
I turn around and grin at him.  
“Good to see you in one piece, vato.”  
“Do I get a hug or will your scary bikers kill me?”  
“Ah, you can have a hug. No funny business.”  
I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist. As I step back from him I say:  
“Is Eli here too?”  
“He’s outside…with your Dads. All three of them.”  
“Ouch. Kozik’s playing the Dad card today too, huh?”  
“Oh yeah. He’s still pissed at Weevil for leaving how he did. He hasn’t seen him since, so this is the first opportunity he’s had to yell at him for leaving you crying in the hotel.”  
“He picks the strangest things to be super protective about.”

Eli walks in the clubhouse then, followed by Duncan, Logan, Mac, Dick, Keith, Jake, and Kozik. Kozik is holding Ellie’s hand and carrying Kenny, and makes a beeline for Opie with the kids. Everyone else walks over to me. Keith and Jake both hug me. Jake whispers in my ear:  
“Celeste is having a problem with this. That’s why she’s not here. She doesn’t understand.”  
“It’s okay. Honestly, that’s the reaction I expected out of all of you.”

I hug Mac and Duncan before I get to Dick. I hug him and say:  
“Sometimes I wish you had too, Dick. Who knows how things would have turned out?”  
He grins and says:  
“You listened to my CD.”  
“Yup…With Opie.”  
“Shit.”  
I laugh and say:  
“Don’t worry. I’m pretty certain he has no intentions of killing you.”

I let go of Dick and turn to hug Logan. His eyes are flashing with anger as he looks at me.  
“What’s up Lo?”  
“You have more bruises.”  
“It’s fine, Logan. Don’t worry about it.”  
“It’s not fine. He hurt you again.”  
“He didn’t mean to. Let it go, Logan.”

He starts to walk away from me and I say:  
“Echolls. Don’t do it. I’m fine.”

Opie stands up and passes the kids to Jax.  
“It’s alright babe. I deserve this.”  
“Oh, shut up. You didn’t mean to hurt me. You deserve this exactly as much as you deserved the beating you got from Clay and Juice. Logan! Stop walking.”

He stops and I walk up behind him.  
“Turn around Lo. Look at me.”  
He turns around, eyes still flashing angrily.  
“Stop channeling Aaron. Be the gentle boy he always tried to beat out of you. Please. Be the man Lynn raised you to be.”  
“I watched my abusive father beat the shit out of my mother for years while also almost killing me on a regular basis Veronica. I can’t watch Opie do that to you.”  
“Opie is not abusive. He’s not Aaron. You remember when we were thirteen and we went to that school dance? I went with Dick…Remember?”  
“Of course I remember.”  
“Do you remember everything from that night? Do you remember why I left? Why I called freaking Don Lamb to come get me?”  
“I hurt you. I didn’t mean to. I was angry and I needed to touch you because touching you always helped ground me…But it didn’t work, and I squeezed your arms too tight and you bruised instantly. I remember the look Mom gave me when Lilly told her. She was so disappointed in me…But I didn’t mean to hurt you.”  
“And neither did Opie. It’s the same situation, Logan. I bruise easily, and he feels the same compulsion to touch me. Sometimes he squeezes too hard. He’s not abusive.”  
“Mom always used to say that Dad wasn’t abusive too.”  
“Logan. Do you really think Jax would let Opie near me if he was abusive?”  
“No…I guess not.”  
“Logan, I love you. You are my best friend in the entire world. But I don’t need you to fight my battles for me, and I don’t need you to protect me from my old men. Do you understand me?”  
“Yes.”  
“Yes what, Logan?”  
“Yes, Veronica. I understand that I don’t have to fight your battles for you.”  
“Good boy. Now give me a hug.”

He wraps his arms around my waist and rests his head on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and stroke his hair. I whisper:  
“See? I’m fine. All in one piece.”

Tig speaks up from his seat and says:  
“Is anyone else both terrified of and turned on by Veronica this evening or is it just me?”  
The SAMCRO guys, Eli, Felix, and Dick all say:  
“Yeah. You’re not alone there.”

Kozik reaches over and smacks Tig on the back of the head before saying:  
“Hey asshole. That’s my daughter.”  
I let go of Logan as Luann and Gemma walk in.  
“Ladies, children. It’s time to go get ready. The bride — for lack of a better term — requires make-up to cover the bruises that her scrap of fabric dress doesn’t cover.”

Luann winks at me and holds out her hand for me. I quickly turn and kiss Jax and Opie before taking Kenny and Ellie by the hands and walking towards Luann.

Gemma says:  
“Jax, Opie, and Chibs. Go elsewhere to get ready. The rest of us will set up the room.”

Mac, Meg, and I all follow Luann into the apartment. When we get inside, Luann locks the door behind us.  
“Veronica, I brought your shampoo and body wash from the house. Go shower. There’s a fresh razor and shaving cream in there too.”  
“Thanks Luann.”

When I get out of the shower, Mac and Meg are dressed and their make-up is done. Meg is twisting Mac’s hair into an up-do, and Luann is doing the same to Meg’s. They are both wearing slinky light grey dresses with scoop necks and spaghetti straps. Both dresses are short, and both girls are wearing shoes that match mine.  
“Holy shit. You guys look amazing.”

As Luann finishes with Meg’s hair she says:  
“The red lingerie on the bed is for you love.”

I walk over to the bed and find a red, strapless, lace corset and red lace boy shorts.  
“Awesome. Thank you.”  
I drop the towel that’s around my body and put on the lingerie. Meg looks at me and says:  
“Nice thigh bruises.”  
“Thanks. They were very enjoyable to obtain.”  
“Opie?”  
“If I have a bruise, it’s probably from Opie.”

Luann gently grabs my shoulders and directs me to the chair they’ve brought in for hair and make-up.  
“Let’s get those bruises covered.”

She works quickly and puts make-up on my neck, upper arms, and thighs.  
“The dress is really that short?”  
“It’s pretty short love.”  
“Okay. Might as well wear the sexy dresses now. Soon I’ll be showing and will be stuck wearing baggy and stretchy things.”

Mac stops getting Ellie dressed and says:  
“Showing? Are you?”  
“Yup. The club knows, and Jake knows, but Keith and Kozik don’t yet.”  
“What about Logan, Dick, and Eli?”  
“Logan knows.”

Luann says:  
“Ronnie, stop talking. I need to do your face make-up.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

Mac says:  
“So Luann, how do you fit in around here?”  
“I’m an old lady. My old man Otto is just in prison. Has been for a long time, but the club takes care of me.”

Luann stops doing my make-up for a minute and says:  
“Otto will take care of Opie. You know that, right?”  
“Yeah. I know.”

Mac and Meg both say:  
“Wait, what?”  
“Opie’s going to prison. He has to turn himself in tomorrow morning. Hence the hurry to do this. Six month stint.”  
“Can’t the lawyers do something?”  
“The six months is them doing something. If he hadn’t taken the deal they would have charged him with sexual interference and statutory rape as well as the current charge. He would’ve gone in for a long time and we would have lost the kids.”

Luann says:  
“Quiet again, love.”  
When she’s done she gives me a mirror and I see that she’s done a grey smokey eye with red lips.   
“Thanks Luann.”  
“No problem. Meg, do her hair.”

Meg comes over and curls my hair before pinning a couple of front pieces back.  
“Done. Dress time.”

I stand up and Meg passes me the dress. I put it on and she ties the halter for me.   
“It’s perfect.”  
It’s tight, hugging every curve. Royal blue with a black ribbon on the front, corset style. It shows off my cleavage and ends just a couple of inches below my butt. Luann says:  
“You look hot. But why this dress?”  
“It’s almost identical to the one I was wearing the day I met Jax and Opie. Ope apparently has very fond memories of that dress.”

I sit down to put on my shoes. Like Mac and Meg’s they are black leather pumps with bright blue stitching and soles. The heel itself is about five inches, which means I’ll still be about 10 inches shorter than Opie.

Mac says:  
“Where are the rings?”  
“In my purse.”  
She digs through my purse and pulls out both ring boxes. She holds them up and says:  
“There’s two.”  
“Yeah. I wanted them all to match, so I bought mine and Jax’s while I was there.”  
She opens both boxes and says:  
“Who gets diamond?”  
“Ope.”  
“Okay. Then we’ll bring those ones out. Do you want to walk out to a song? Since this is kind of a wedding?”  
“Can you play ‘I Turn to You’?”  
“Christina Aguilera, right?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Will Ope get the reference?”  
“Yeah. He will. You might even get to see him cry.”  
“Ooh..Goody. We’re going to go out there. We’ll send Jax in. He’s going to walk you up to Opie.”  
“Thanks Mac.”

They all leave the room and then Jax walks in. He’s wearing a tight, grey long sleeve shirt under his cut with black jeans.  
“Goddamn, baby. I think you’re trying to kill us. That dress looks very similar to the one you were wearing the day we met.”  
“Yeah, that was the intention.”  
“Because that was also the day you met Opie. He has fond memories of it, huh?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Well, you look amazing and beautiful.”  
“I love you, Jax.”  
“I love you. Now let’s go out there so you can officially become Opie’s old lady. Now, when you put the ring on him your line is: ‘With this ring, I vow my love. I promise to always be a loving and faithful old lady.’ His line is a bit raunchier…sorry love, it’s tradition.”  
“Uh-huh.”

He takes my engagement ring off of my left hand and places it on the ring finger on my right hand then intertwines his hand with mine and we walk out of the room and down the hallway. When we hear the opening notes of “I Turn To You” he lets go of my hand and gives me his arm. I rest my hand on the inside of his forearm, and say:  
“I love you. Thank you for this.”  
“I love you. And this? This is nothing. You aren’t his, or mine. You are ours. This is just how we get everyone else to realize it.”

We walk out into the main clubhouse and I see that Opie is in fact crying. He’s wearing the same outfit as Jax, his hair tied back with a royal blue ribbon. We make eye contact and he mouths:  
“I love you.”

I smile at him and keep walking towards him. When we get to him, Jax kisses me, then kisses Opie before taking his spot beside him. I take Opie’s hands in mine and whisper:  
“Don’t cry baby.”  
“Too late.”

We both look at Chibs, who says:  
“We don’t normally have ring exchanging ceremonies to make our old ladies official unless we’re marrying them, but Veronica and Opie aren’t exactly a normal case. Actually, I’m pretty sure nothing to do with Veronica is normal.” 

Everyone laughs at that and Chibs continues:  
“Who has the rings?”

Jax steps forward and hands me Opie’s ring and hands Opie my ring, then steps back. Chibs says:  
“Say your vows as you put the ring on your partner. Veronica, darlin’, you go first.”

I slide the ring onto Opie’s finger as I say:  
“With this ring, I vow my love. I promise to always be a loving and faithful old lady.”  
Opie smiles at me and slides my ring on as he says:  
“With this ring, I vow my love. And I promise always to cherish and protect you.”  
Jax raises an eyebrow and says:  
“And what else?”  
Opie mouths:  
“Sorry.”   
Then says:  
“And treat you as good as my leather and…”  
All the SAMCRO guys join in and say:  
“…ride you as much as my Harley.”

I start laughing, and I hear Meg and Mac both snort behind me. 

Chibs says:  
“May the Lord hold you in His hand and may He never close His fist too tight. Bennachd dia dhuit. I love you both. You may kiss your old lady.”

Opie pulls me tight against himself, wrapping his arms around me, and kisses me. It’s deep and passionate and when we pull apart, Mac mumbles:  
“Goddamn. I think I may need new panties.”  
I start laughing again, and Meg can’t help but join in. Opie whispers:  
“I’m pretty sure you’re never going to be able to take off that lipstick. It hasn’t moved. I think it’s just a permanent part of your body now.”  
“Luann is a master.”

I take his hand and we walk towards everyone else. Jax, Meg, Mac, and Chibs follow us. I say:  
“Now what? Any other traditions I should know about?”  
“Just the kissing one. New old ladies get kissed by everyone.”

I raise my voice enough to be heard by everyone:  
“Didn’t I just participate in the kissing tradition? I feel like I’m no longer a new old lady.”  
Jax says:  
“That was for being my old lady. This is for being Opie’s. Deal with it baby.”  
He pulls me away from Opie and kisses me, matching the passion from Opie’s kiss a moment ago. When we pull apart he whispers:  
“I love you.”  
“I love you too.”

Chibs kisses me next, just a brushing of the lips. He’s followed by Bobby, Happy, Tig, and Piney. Juice approaches me carefully and says:  
“Ope? Can I?”  
“It’s tradition. It’s fine, Juice.”

Juice grins and puts his hand on my neck before pulling me to him to kiss me softly. Not the same lip brush as everyone else, but pretty chaste so as not to piss off Opie. 

Clay walks up to me last and says:  
“Are you okay baby?”  
“Yeah, Clay. I’m fine.”  
He kisses me the same way he did before. Gently lifting my chin and softly kissing me. Gemma walks up as he lets me go and she kisses me the same way Clay just did. Soft and loving, like a parent. Luann follows with a quick lip brush. 

I hear Eli ask Opie if they get to kiss me too, and Jax responds saying that it’s not really tradition, but they’re welcome to try. I laugh and say:  
“Eli…That means no.”

I feel hands on my arm, pulling me so I turn around, and once I do, I see that it’s Mac. She smirks and says:  
“I don’t think they’ll have a problem with this.”

Then she wraps her arm around my waist and pulls me against her before kissing me. When she releases me, Meg grabs me and does the same. All the guys are just staring in stunned silence. Tig recovers first and says:  
“Not so terrified anymore, mostly just turned on.”

I look at him and say:  
“Don’t let go of your fear Tig. It’s smart to be afraid of me.”  
Meg says:  
“Yup. Fear of Veronica is healthy. I’m afraid of her.”  
“With valid reason.”  
“Yeah. After seeing what you did to Ima, I’m really glad I kept my hands to myself.”  
“I wouldn’t have hurt you that much. That whore brings out the worst in me.”

Duncan walks up to me and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his chest. He says:  
“It’s weird that you’re with both of them, but I’m glad you are happy.”  
“Thank you big brother.”

Clay clears his throat and says:  
“All the parents are going to leave now and let everyone else party. We’ll take the kids home with us for tonight.”  
“Okay. Are you okay with us coming over early tomorrow to get them so Ope can spend a little time with them before we have to be at the station at 8:45?”  
“Of course. You have a key. Just come in.”  
“Thank you.”

I walk over to where Ellie and Kenny are sitting with Piney and I say:  
“Grandma Gemma is going to take you guys tonight okay?”  
Ellie says:  
“No, Mama. We want to stay with you.”  
“Sweetheart, Daddy and I are going to be here until very late, but we will come to Grandma Gemma’s in the morning to get you, okay? It’s only a few hours. Grandma Gemma is going to need your help with Kenny and Abel, okay?”  
“Okay. You promise you’ll be there in the morning?”  
“I promise baby-girl.”  
“Fine. I love you Mama.”  
“I love you too Ellie-girl.”

Jax wraps his arms around me and whispers:  
“Why is Ellie calling you Mama already?”  
“Donna told them they should. She told them that I love them as much as she does. Ellie told me that and then asked if she could. I said yes. Kenny is still calling me Aunty Ronnie.”  
“She prepared them to be raised by you…It was intentional.”  
“Yeah, I think it was.”

I hug Ellie and Kenny before taking Abel out of Keith’s arms.   
“Thank you for coming Daddy. I know this is a lot to take in.”  
“I feel the same way about this as Celeste. I came because Kozik told me I should.”  
“I understand.”   
“I’m sorry Veronica.”  
“Daddy. It’s okay. It’s a lot, and it’s strange. I understand you having issues with it.”  
He kisses me on the top of my head and leaves the clubhouse. As I’m watching him leave, Kozik walks up and wraps an arm around my waist before kissing the side of my head.  
“He’ll come around kiddo.”  
“You don’t know that. He has no obligation to love me or approve of my life anymore. He might never come around.”  
“I’m going to go make sure he gets back to Neptune okay.”  
“Okay. Love you.”  
“I love you sweetheart.”  
He kisses the side of my head again and then walks away. I turn and hand Abel to Jax and say:  
“Can you make sure Gemma has car seats for all the kids? Ellie and Kenny both have pyjamas and toothbrushes in the overnight bag in the trunk of my car. I just need a minute.”  
“Okay, love.”

I walk down the hallway to the apartment, walk inside, and close the door as the tears start to fall. I grab Opie’s hoodie from the chair and hug it as I sit on the floor in the far corner of the room. I try to cry quietly, but it must not work because Opie walks in the room.   
“I just need a minute, Ope. I’ll be right out.”  
“I’m not leaving. Why are you sitting on the floor when there’s a bed and chair in this room?”  
“I like sitting on the floor.”  
“Are you crying about me? Or about the fact that you finally realized Donna killed herself intentionally? Or did something else happen? Talk to me baby.”  
“I don’t want to talk about it. I want to get the tears out of my system and then enjoy the few hours I have with you.”  
“How can I help?”  
“Just give me a few minutes, okay?”  
“I have a better idea.”

He sits on the edge of the bed and says:  
“Come here my love.”  
I stand up and walk over to the bed. I put his hoodie down and then straddle his lap. I cuddle close into him, pressing my face into his neck, and taking deep breaths. When I’m calm again I lean back a little and kiss him.   
“I love you. I’m going to miss you so much.”  
“Oh baby…You have no idea how much I’m going to miss you.”  
“Show me. Show me how much you love me. How much you’re going to miss me.”  
He growls deep in his throat and says:  
“Stand up and take your panties off.”

I stand up and start to take off my shoes. He growls again and says:  
“Did I say you could take off your shoes?”  
“No, sir. Sorry, sir.”  
He grins at my response and watches with dark eyes as I take my panties off over my shoes.   
“Red lace…You pulled out all the stops babe.”  
“Well, you seemed to have such fond memories of this outfit.”  
“Oh, and I will be thinking about it while I’m inside.”  
He undoes his belt and pants, and I pull his cut and shirt off.   
“You’re still mostly dressed little girl. Why am I ending up naked?”  
“Because you want the image of fucking me in this dress and I want to remember you naked. What is that?”  
“I may have had some free time while you girls were getting beautified.”  
“You got a tattoo of my name?”  
“Yeah. I mean, I’ve been in love with you for years, I intend for this to be a forever thing, and it seemed wrong to have a tattoo for Donna but not for you.”

I gently run my fingers over the new tattoo over his heart.   
“I love you.”  
“I love you. Can I fuck you now?”  
“Please.”  
He pushes his pants and boxers down and picks me up, sliding into me as he does.  
“I love how wet you always are.”  
“I just always want to fuck you.”  
“The parents are all gone…Scream for me baby.”  
He walks forward until my back is pressed up against the wall. I put my hands on his neck and dig my nails into the base of his skull while he fucks me against the wall.   
“Ope, I want you to hurt me.”  
“Are you sure Veronica?”  
“Yes. I’m sure. Please.”  
He growls and bites my throat and digs his fingers into my asscheeks as he thrusts harder. I moan loudly as he bites me and he moves one of his hands to my throat, moving his mouth to mine and pressing his fingers into my throat where my bruise is. I moan and say:  
“Harder, Opie. Please.”  
“I don’t actually want to hurt you, Veronica. I don’t want you to be scared of me.”  
“I will let you know if it’s too much Ope. Please.”  
He groans and kisses me before squeezing my throat harder. I gasp as he growls in my ear:  
“Come for me Veronica. Scream for me.”  
“More, Ope. Please.”  
He squeezes harder and thrusts faster and growls in my ear again:  
“I love you. Come for me so I can remember this. You all dishevelled in this dress, my hand around your throat, my cock buried inside of you.”  
He runs his teeth along my jaw before biting down on the sensitive spot where my neck meets my shoulder. I gasp and then come screaming his name. He growls in my ear:  
“Good girl. Let everyone know that you’re mine.”  
“I am yours.”  
I lean forward, pressing my throat into his hand in the process, and bite his throat while running my nails down his spine.   
“Can I press harder baby?”  
“Yes.”  
He squeezes my throat harder and while I gasp he kisses me and comes with a moan. He gradually releases the pressure on my throat as he kisses me gently.   
“I love you. I didn’t hurt you too much did I?”  
“I love you. No, babe. I’m good.”  
“Should we go back to the party?”  
“Yeah…I guess.”

He puts me down and I take off my shoes and walk into the bathroom to clean up before I put my panties back on. Then I step back into my shoes and kiss him as he gets dressed.   
“Do I look presentable or thoroughly fucked?”  
“Both? You look hot babe. There may be a few new teeth marks though.”  
I roll my eyes at him and walk back into the bathroom to fix my hair and make-up. When I’m done he reaches for me. I walk up to him and wrap my arm around his waist. He drapes his arm over my shoulders and we walk out of the apartment. 

When we enter the clubhouse Tig, Chibs, Happy, Juice, and Felix all start clapping and cheering for Opie.   
“Who knew that giving me an orgasm was worth cheering for?”  
Leo walks up as I say that and says:  
“They’re acting like that’s strange for you. You always scream when you come.”  
“Not something you should know, Leo. Shut up.”   
Jax walks up and gently pulls me out of Opie’s arms before he says:  
“It’s not true anyways. Sometimes she whimpers when she comes. It all depends on how many orgasms you give her back to back.”  
“Stop it. Don’t encourage Leo. He knows far too much about my sex life as it is.”

I step out of Jax’s arms and walk over to Meg and Mac. Meg looks upset, so I say:  
“What’s wrong?”  
“She told Duncan about Juice.”  
“Oh. And what did my dumbass brother do?”  
“He left. Said he couldn’t marry me.”  
“He’s an idiot. He’ll come around. I’ll talk to him.” 

Bobby speaks up from behind the bar:  
“If you want to talk to him, he didn’t go far. He’s outside.”  
“Thanks Bobby.”

I turn and walk out of the clubhouse. I find Duncan sitting at the picnic table right outside the door.  
“Go away Ronnie.”  
“Nope. What are you doing Duncan? You can’t just call off your damn wedding.”  
“She had sex with Juice.”  
“I know. And that was stupid and selfish. But that doesn’t make her less Meg, just slightly more human. I still wouldn’t be surprised to find out that cartoon birds braid her hair in the morning.”  
“This is your fault you know.”  
“How is it my fault?”  
“You brought her here. You are the one that put the idea of fucking these criminals in her head.”  
“Excuse me? Your pregnant fiancée, who has an abusive father, asked me if she could come with me. I was trying to be a good sister. I was trying to protect Meg and your unborn child. I told her not to fuck Juice. I was very fucking specific. But we can’t change things now. It’s happened. All you can do is move the fuck on.”  
“I can’t. Someone else has touched her.”  
“Do you know why she fucked Juice?”  
“No. Why?”  
“Because she wanted to know what it would be like to be with someone who cares if she orgasms or not. Duncan, you are apparently a boring and selfish lover…Which, I can’t say I’m surprised about, considering how you are in every other aspect of your life.”  
“Wow, Veronica. Tell me what you really think.”  
“Fine. You are a controlling, selfish ass…Obsessed with being the perfect son to our controlling, selfish father. I love you. I have loved you since we were kids, but you need to learn that everything doesn’t always have to be perfect all the time. Meg made a mistake. She knew it was a mistake. She called me, crying because she made a mistake. That doesn’t mean she’s no longer worthy of being Mrs. Kane. Stop being an asshole.”

He gets up from the picnic table and walks towards me, yelling:  
“This never would have happened if you had just stayed gone!”  
“I’m sorry my mother’s death has been so inconvenient for you, Donut.”  
“Goddamn it, Veronica! Stop trying to be Lilly!”  
“I’m not trying to be Lilly, you fucking moron! I’m just finally able to be me because I don’t have the Kane siblings trying to keep me as their perfect little toy! Lilly either took or threatened every guy who was interested in me in order to keep me innocent. And you? You wanted me to be this perfect, pink princess. I played along, but that’s not me! It was never me! It is Meg. Yeah, she made a mistake, but she’s still perfect Meg.”

He reaches out and grabs my shoulders before shoving me into the wall behind me. The wall is rough and I feel it bite into my skin.  
“That was a mistake, Duncan.”  
“Why? You going to let those assholes you act like a whore for hit me?”  
“No. I’ll do it my goddamn self.”  
I step forward and punch him in the face and watch as he hits the ground.  
“You need to leave Duncan. You are no longer welcome here.”  
“You’re just their whore, Veronica. You don’t have any power.”  
I carefully crouch next to him and quietly say:  
“I am the future goddamn queen. You may not respect me as your sister, but you will respect the fucking title, and what that title means for you, right now, is that as far as you are concerned, I am fucking God. If I tell you that you are no longer welcome here, it means stand up and get the fuck out of this yard and the fuck out of Charming. Because I am the only thing standing between you and a very painful end right now. So, accept my fucking mercy and leave. You can come back when you are willing to acknowledge that you played a role in Meg cheating on you, and when you are ready to apologize for all the hurtful things you said to me tonight.”

I stand up and walk back into the clubhouse. Meg walks up to me and wraps her arms around me. I look at Leo over her head and say:  
“Leo, can you make sure my asshole brother leaves town?”  
“Yup.”  
He walks out of the clubhouse, kissing me on the head on his way by. Meg says:  
“I’m sorry he blamed you.”  
“Duncan is an irrational asshole. It’s not your fault.”  
“He called you a whore.”  
“More than once.”  
“That was a nice punch.”  
“It was sloppy. I could have done better.”  
“I liked your terrifying speech at the end.”

Tig speaks up from where he’s sitting:  
“So…I know he’s your brother and all, but why can’t we kill him? He insulted our future queen and shoved her into a fucking wall knowing she’s pregnant.”  
“My brother is off-limits. He may be a raging asshole, but none of you are to touch him. Am I understood?”

Jax quietly says:  
“And the next time he loses it and actually hurts you? Are we just supposed to step back and let it happen?”  
“You think he didn’t actually hurt me tonight? That wall carved up my back. Not to mention, hearing my brother repeatedly calling me a whore smarted a bit. But I can handle things myself. I told you that you need to stop coddling me. You seem to forget that I am a badass who is perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I have survived much worse than Duncan having a hissy fit.”  
“You shouldn’t have to. It’s the club’s job to protect you.”  
“You hurt the Golden Boy and Jake’s money stops. Meaning Opie loses his protection inside. So Duncan is fucking off limits. Do you understand me?!”

All the guys say:  
“Yes. We won’t touch him.”  
“Good. Now, can everyone leave and let Jax and I spend a few hours with Opie before he’s gone for months?”

Bobby says:  
“Yup. You guys are going to stay here?”  
“Figured we may as well. Mac and the boys can stay at the house with Meg.”

Meg says:  
“Good idea. Let’s go guys. I have keys to the house.”

She walks over to Opie and hugs him as she says:  
“See you in a few months. Stay safe in there. We’ll take care of the kids. And I’ll keep an eye on Ronnie.”  
“Thank you, Meg.”

When Meg lets go of Opie and walks back over to me, Logan walks up and hugs Opie. They whisper back and forth for a minute and then move away from each other.

Meg, Mac, and the boys all leave and the SAMCRO guys start saying their goodbyes to Opie. I walk into the apartment and close the door before taking my shoes off and sitting down on the edge of the bed. I send Jake a quick text letting him know what happened with Duncan, then I put my phone on silent and throw it in the direction of my purse. I cross my legs and lean back on my hands, closing my eyes and just enjoying the momentary silence. 

The door opens and closes, and I hear objects being put down on the dresser, and clothes hitting the chair. I smell Jax before he actually touches me, so when his hands urge me to uncross my legs, I cooperate, spreading them wide enough for him to kneel between. He puts his hand on my neck and pulls my face toward him. He kisses me and says:  
“How badly did Duncan hurt you?”  
“My back is scratched and bruised. Otherwise I’m fine.”  
“Open your eyes and say that again while looking at me.”  
I open my eyes and roll them at him.  
“I’m fine, Jax. I promise. Where’s Ope?”  
“Still saying goodbye to the guys. Bobby is being slow and sentimental.”  
“Well, that’s Bobby for you.”

I kiss him and say:  
“I want you.”  
“You don’t want to wait for Ope?”  
“He’ll join in when he gets here.”  
“What do you want, my queen?”  
“I want slow, gentle, loving…But right now? I want your mouth on me. I want you to lick and suck my clit and push your fingers into me. I want to come against your mouth and then taste myself on your tongue.”  
“Jesus, baby. The things you do to me when you talk dirty. Stand up, take your panties off. Leave the dress on.”

He’s still kneeling between my legs when I stand up. I carefully take my panties off, using his shoulders for balance. Before I can sit back down, he runs his hand over me and slides two fingers inside of me. I cry out and he pumps his fingers while pushing me back down onto the bed. Once I’m sitting down I lift my legs and rest them on his shoulders before laying back on the bed. I’m so worked up that I orgasm as his tongue touches my clit and I come screaming his name. I can feel him smirk against me as he pulls his fingers out of me before he starts licking, sucking, and biting at my clit. I whimper as my legs start to shake.  
“Jax, please. I need more. Let me come again.”

He pulls slightly away from me to say:  
“You can come again when Opie is in the room. For now, you’re going to be a good girl and let me taste you.”

He goes back to slowly and gently licking at me. Occasionally dipping his tongue into my entrance. I’m whimpering and begging him to give me more when the door opens and Opie walks in. He closes the door behind him and takes off his clothes before walking over to the bed and leaning over to kiss me.   
“Stand up and take the dress off.”

I move my legs off of Jax’s shoulders and stand up over him again. He keeps licking at me, putting more pressure on my clit as I untie the halter of my dress. I look at Opie over my shoulder and say:  
“Unzip me babe.”

He kneels on the bed behind me and kisses my neck as he unzips my dress and pulls it off my body. He groans when he sees the corset and he bites his favourite sensitive spot while Jax bites on my clit and slides his fingers back inside me. Opie growls in my ear:  
“Come for us baby.”  
I reach for his hand and put it on my throat.   
“Make me.”  
I feel Jax groan against my clit, the vibrations sending shockwaves through my body, and Opie puts pressure on my throat while pinching and twisting one of my nipples with the other hand. When he bites the back of my neck and presses his hard body against my back I come with a yell. Jax laps gently at my clit until I come down, then raises up on his knees and pulls me down onto his cock, kissing me as he thrusts up into me. 

When Jax’s mouth leaves mine, I say:  
“Ope, come here.”

Jax shifts so he can rest his forehead on my shoulder and keeps moving at his slow, languid pace. Opie comes and stands next to me. I turn my head slightly so I can lick his cock, starting by swirling my tongue around the head, then licking to the base and back up before taking it in my mouth. Since I don’t exactly have full range of motion with Jax holding me in place, I put my hand on Opie’s ass and pull him towards me. He takes the hint and starts fucking my mouth, thrusting slowly and gently. I move my tongue along him with each thrust and suck while digging my nails into his ass cheek. He groans and thrusts harder, I moan around his cock and he says:  
“Jesus, Veronica. Your mouth feels so good.”  
I hum in my throat and he groans and says:  
“I’m going to come, Ronnie.”  
I dig my fingers into his asscheek and hold him in my mouth. Jax says:  
“I think she wants you to come in her mouth.”  
“Yeah, I got that. You close?”  
“Yeah.”

Opie thrusts hard and I feel his cock twitch as he comes. I swallow, licking his cock off as he pulls out of my mouth. When he backs up and sits on the edge of the bed, I lick my lips and say:  
“God, you taste good, Ope.”

Jax moves his head and kisses me, running his tongue around my mouth as he thrusts up into me harder than he has been, and he comes with a moan against my mouth. He pulls his mouth off of mine and says:  
“You do taste good Ope.”

Opie stands up and lifts me off of Jax. He lays me on the bed and kneels on the floor in front of me before running his tongue along my core, lapping at my entrance before licking at my clit. He moans as he sucks on my clit, and Jax comes up on the bed, sitting next to me, kissing me and biting at my neck. He says:  
“Come for us baby. Come on Opie’s face.”

Opie slides two fingers into me and then adds another as he pumps them and sucks harder on my clit, biting slightly. I have tears streaming down my face as I orgasm and after Opie gently laps at me to help me come down, he climbs up on the bed with me. We all move up the bed to the pillows and they wrap their arms around each other with me pinned in the middle. Opie whispers in my ear:  
“It’s okay baby. Everything is okay. Don’t cry, please. I can’t bear for your tears to be my last memory of you for six months.”  
“You’ll see me when you’re in. I’ll come visit.”  
“No, you will not. I do not want you in that building. Promise me you won’t come visit.”  
“But…”  
“I know, babe, but please…Promise me you won’t come to that place. I don’t want you to come to the station when I turn myself in tomorrow either. I want you and the kids to stay at Gemma’s until Jax gets back from taking me in.”  
“That’s not fair, Ope.”  
“I know. I’m sorry Veronica. I just won’t be able to leave if you and the kids are there.”  
“I don’t understand why I can’t come visit you.”  
“I don’t want you to see me like that…a prisoner. Please, my love.”  
“Fine. It’s not fair, but fine.”

I kiss him, tasting myself and Jax on his tongue, then say:  
“Let me up.”  
“Nope. We’re staying like this.”  
“Three problems with that. First: I have to pee. Second: this corset is crazy uncomfortable. And third: I need to wash the millions of layers of make-up off. So how about you let me up so I can shower?”  
“So demanding. Fine. Go shower.”  
“Thank you.”

I get out of bed and walk into the bathroom. Once I’ve showered and gotten most of the make-up off, I go back out to the bedroom. Jax and Opie, having gravitated closer together, are both asleep, so I lie down on the other side of Opie and put my head on his chest, quickly falling asleep myself.


	11. Four Months Later

—————————  
Opie’s Perspective  
—————————

When I walk out of Chino, I expect to see Jax and Veronica. After all, I let Jax know yesterday that I was getting out today, plenty of time for them to come from Neptune. But only Jax is there. He’s on his bike, and mine is next to him, so one of the guys must have brought it. I hug him and say:  
“Where’s Ronnie?”  
“Neptune. She’s been there since about a week after you went in.”  
“Well, you’ve been there too, right?”  
“No. I’ve been in Charming.”  
“She’s been alone?!”  
“She’s not alone. She has Meg, Mac, and all the boys. She hired Eli’s grandmother to help with the kids...by the way, your kids now call all those idiots Uncle, and Eli’s grandmother Abuelita. And Kozik went Nomad so he could be near her as much as possible.”  
“Why haven’t you been there?”  
“I fucked up. She left me.”  
“What happened?”  
“Before you went in, Ronnie and I talked about taking a family trip...All of us, away from the club. After you went in, she wanted to go. Clay wouldn’t let me leave, so Ronnie and Meg took the kids. She discovered that Donna had passports for the kids, so she and Meg decided to go to Peru with Logan and Dick.”  
“Yes. I know all this from her letters.”  
“Well, they had been gone five days, and I was in the clubhouse on the phone with her when Tig took the phone and told her what I did. I’ve never heard her cry like that. When I finally got the phone back and called her, Logan told me that she didn’t want to speak to me. I haven’t actually spoken to her since.”  
“What the fuck did you do?”  
“I missed her...I missed you. I got drunk and I fucked Ima. I screwed up okay?”  
“Jesus Christ. You have been in love with Ronnie since she was 15. You finally had her. You were engaged and she’s pregnant with your child, and you fuck it all up by fucking the one person she hates more than anyone in the goddamn world?”  
“I thought she’d be mad but that she’d get over it. But while they were still in Peru she got some of the guys and Eli and Felix to move her and the kids out of my house. When they came back to the States they went straight to Neptune. I haven’t even gotten to see the kids.”  
“She told me in Boise that she didn’t think she’d survive us cheating on her. That she could handle us leaving, but not cheating. She made me promise to leave her before sleeping with someone else. Guess she didn’t think she needed to have that conversation with you.”  
“She got Meg to make me promise not to tell you before you got out. She didn’t want you to worry.”  
“Jax, I love you, but you are a fucking moron.”

I get on my bike and put my helmet on.

“Clay wants us at the clubhouse.”  
“Tell Clay to kiss my ass. I’m going to Neptune to see my kids and my old lady.”  
“Ope...”  
“Yeah. I’ll try to convince her to forgive your dumb ass.”

A few hours later I’m parked in the lot of Neptune High, next to Veronica’s car. When the end of day bell rings, I’m leaning against the back of her car waiting. I see her walking through the parking lot with Meg and Logan. Both she and Meg are showing, their stomachs about the same size even though Meg is further along. She looks happy, talking and laughing with Logan. Meg spots me first and breaks into a large grin before nudging Veronica with her elbow and pointing. Veronica looks at me and her face lights up, if I thought she looked happy before, it’s got nothing on now. She hands her bag to Logan and runs towards me, launching herself at me. I catch her easily and say:  
“Hi baby.”  
“You’re here...I missed you so much.”  
Her eyes fill with tears and I kiss her before putting her down and putting my hands on her neck, running my thumbs over her cheekbones.  
“Don’t cry, my love. I’m home now.”  
“Not really though. I’m sure you being here instead of Charming is already pissing off Clay.”

———————————  
Veronica’s Perspective   
———————————

As I say that my phone rings.  
“Speak of the devil.”

I answer the phone without checking the caller ID:  
“Hello?”  
“You answered...first time in months.”  
“Yeah...I didn’t mean to answer. Just forgot to check who was calling. What do you want?”  
“To come home and be with my kids and my old lady.”  
“They aren’t your kids and I’m not your old lady. We’re nothing.”  
“Abel is mine.”  
“Maybe legally, but since I was only 16 when I made that choice it can be rectified.”  
“Veronica. Don’t do this. Don’t cut me out. I love you. I love those kids. Please let me come home.”  
“You are home. If you’re lonely, go fuck Ima again.”

I see Opie staring at my wrist and realize that I’m not wearing my usual chunky leather bracelet that covers the scar. He reaches out and takes the phone and says:  
“Jax. We’ll call you back.”  
He hangs up and puts my phone in his pocket before he grabs my wrists and growls:  
“When?”  
“About an hour after finding out about Jax and Ima. Meg found me, got me to the hospital. Logan and Dick took the kids on a multi-day cruise while I was in the hospital. They never knew anything was wrong. The scars are usually covered.”  
“Does Jax know?”  
“Why would he? He is nothing to me anymore.”  
“Yeah...I always try to kill myself when someone who means nothing to me does something stupid too.”  
“He meant everything to me. But I had to put my feelings for him in a little box in my head or it would have killed me. He cheated...and not with some random or crow eater...he fucked Ima. And it’s not like I had been gone long. Like three days when it happened. So for eight months when I was in Seattle and he was in Charming he didn’t fuck anyone, but three days of me being in Peru he can’t handle it anymore and he has to fuck that whore?”  
“He told you he hadn’t had sex with anyone while you were in Seattle?”  
“Yes...”  
“He lied baby. I know for a fact he had sex with Ima multiple times during those months...I thought you knew Veronica. I would have told you otherwise.”  
I start sobbing and sink to the ground. I hear Logan and Dick yell my name and feel someone pick me up and put me in the passenger seat of my car. As that person...Dick, it’s Dick, is buckling my seatbelt he says:  
“Opie, you can come to the house to see the kids, but then I think you need to go back to Charming. We’re barely keeping her together without reminders of Jax around.”  
“Is that what I am?”  
“Right now? Yeah. Go back to Charming. Talk some sense into him. He hasn’t even tried to come see her. She almost died in Peru. The doctors said it was amazing that the blood loss didn’t affect the babies. He knows she tried to kill herself. Meg called him. She begged him to come to Neptune, to talk to Veronica. He hasn’t.”  
“Have the other guys been here?”  
“Juice, Tig, Chibs, Piney, Clay, and Bobby have all been here. Gemma has been here lots. Tig shows up every time he has some spare time. I think he feels guilty for telling her. I found him in her room one afternoon. She was asleep and he was sitting on the edge of the bed, running his fingers over one of her scars, sobbing.”  
“Tig has a soft spot for her. Always has.”

I hear Opie sigh and say:  
“Don’t tell the kids I was here. I’ll go back to Charming and talk to the moron.”

I speak up and say:  
“No. Please don’t leave me again.”

Dick moves out of the way and Opie comes to stand next to me.  
“I’ll be back in a few days.”  
“Please don’t leave me. Not yet. Come home. See the kids. Let me fall asleep in your arms tonight. Please.”  
“I’ll stay until Friday with the understanding that you and the kids come with me to Charming for the weekend.”  
“I can’t Ope.”  
“You can. I have a house we can stay in. I’m not going to make you be near Jax, but Charming is still my home, and you are my old lady.”  
“Fine. So two nights here and then the weekend in Charming?”  
“Yes. I’ll meet you at the house love.”

—————————  
Opie’s perspective  
—————————

As Dick, Logan, and Meg all pile into the car with Veronica, I pull her phone out and scroll through her recent calls. Daily calls from Gemma, Tig, Kozik, and Leo. All answered or returned shortly later. No calls from Keith, Jake, or Celeste...Strange. And twice daily calls from Jax, all unanswered until the most recent one. 

I dial Jax’s number and wait for him to answer.  
“Ronnie?”  
“Nope. It’s me.”  
“Should have figured. There’s no way she would willingly call me.”  
“Why haven’t you come to Neptune to see her?”  
“She won’t even talk to me on the phone. Why would she want me to show up in Neptune?”  
“Jax...our girl slit her fucking wrists when she found out about you and Ima. She lost so much blood the doctors were astounded that it didn’t hurt the babies. Dick says Meg called you and told you, begged you to come see Veronica. But you haven’t. Why?”  
“I never talked to Meg. She always calls the shop and leaves a message. She doesn’t want to talk to me either. Veronica slit her wrists?”  
“So who would have kept that message from you? ... never mind. I know who. Fucking Pop.”  
“I’m on my way. I’ll be there in 3 hours.”  
“Before you decide to do that…Why did you lie to her about when she was in Seattle? You told her you didn’t sleep with anyone, but I know you fucked Ima multiple times during those months.”  
“I didn’t want to hurt her.”  
“Lying to her is never the right call, Jax.”  
“I’ll explain it to her. I’ll be there in a few hours.”  
“Okay."

I hang up with him and dial Leo’s number.  
“Veronica? What’s wrong sweetheart? You don’t usually call me first.”  
“It’s Opie.”  
“Well, that would explain it. What’s up?”  
“Why does Ronnie’s phone show no incoming or outgoing calls to Keith, Jake, and Celeste?”  
“Shouldn’t be any calls to Duncan either, but you probably didn’t notice that. Ummm. Keith and Celeste never got over the whole ‘Veronica dating two guys’ thing, they haven’t spoken to her since your ceremony. Jake sided with Duncan, unsurprisingly. He still gives Veronica her allowance and still paid for your protection inside, but he said he won’t have a relationship with her until she apologizes to Duncan for banishing him from Charming.”  
“Jesus Christ. Do they know about what happened with Jax? About her suicide attempt?”  
“Yeah. Kozik and I went to them. They aren’t budging. It’s like a switch got flipped and they just don’t care anymore.”  
“Remind me to kill them at some point.”  
“Yup. It’s on my list too.”

We hang up and I get on my bike to head to the house.

When I get there I see Eli and Felix in the driveway.  
“So you’re out. Planning on sticking around?”  
“Well, she is my old lady, Eli. So, yeah. I’m planning on sticking around.”  
“She was Jax’s old lady too and we all know how that went.”  
“I’m not Jax. I would never cheat on her, she is the love of my life.”  
“Good. But you should know...if you do cheat on her or hurt her in any way, I will do everything in my power to make sure she never forgives you.”  
“That desperate to have her back, huh?”  
“I have been in love with her since she was seven years old. Yeah. I want her back.”  
“Fair enough. I’m going to go inside now.”  
“She’s on the couch in the living room with Logan and Dick. Don’t lose your shit, they always cuddle like that. It’s one of the only things that keeps her from just crying all the time. Hopefully her mood will improve with you here.”  
“Yeah...hopefully.”

I walk into the house and see Logan, Dick, Veronica, and all three kids sitting on the couch watching The Little Mermaid.   
“Ariel’s still your favourite huh, Ellie-girl?”

Ellie jumps off the couch and comes running at me, screaming:  
“Daddy! Mama, look! Daddy’s home!”  
Veronica looks at us and smiles before saying:  
“I see that. Maybe Daddy wants to come sit down and watch the movie with us? Uncle Dickie and Uncle Logan were going to go surfing anyway.”

Logan passes Kenny to Veronica and stands up and Dick passes Abel to her before kissing her cheek and saying:  
“Are you okay? We can stay.”  
“Dick. I love Opie. Opie loves me. We have children. He won’t hurt me. Go away and let me spend some time with the man I love.”  
“Okay.”

As Ellie and I walk over to the couch, Kenny and Abel both reach for me saying:  
“Daddy!”  
I pick them both up and look at Veronica. She shrugs and says:  
“Ellie and Kenny always refer to you as Daddy when they look at pictures of you. It’s not like Jax has been around for Abel, so he picked it up. I didn’t correct it because I figure we’re a family, right? He has to call you something. It may as well be Daddy.”

I feel my eyes fill with tears and I bend down to kiss her before saying:  
“I love you.”  
“I love you. I’m so glad you’re home.”

She turns to the kitchen and says:  
“Abuelita? Can you keep an eye on the kids for a few minutes?”  
“Of course mi dulce niña.”  
“Thank you.”  
She puts Kenny and Abel down on the couch and Ellie sits between the boys. 

Veronica stands up and takes my hand, pulling me upstairs with her. We walk into her bedroom and she closes and locks the door before taking her shirt off. 

———————————  
Veronica’s Perspective  
———————————

I watch Opie’s eyes get dark as I take off my shirt, then I reach for him and push off his cut before taking his shirt off. I run my fingers over a nasty scar on his side.   
“That’s new. I thought I was paying for protection?”  
“Someone paid a guard more. I’m okay, baby.”  
I stand up on my toes and wind my fingers through his hair, pulling his face down to mine. I kiss him, pouring all the emotions of four months of missing him into it. When we pull apart we’re both crying.   
“That was the worst four months…ever.”  
“You were supposed to have Jax. You weren’t supposed to be alone.”  
I shrug.  
“Yeah, well…I don’t want to talk about him. Show me how much you missed me.”

He reaches for my pants and undoes them before pushing them and my panties down. I step out of them as I undo his pants and shove them down. He kisses me as he steps out of his pants, then he picks me up. He slides into me and I whimper when he bottoms out. He lays me down on the bed, kissing me and slowly thrusting. He holds himself up with one hand and runs the other along my body, gently tweaking my nipple and then caressing my swelling stomach before rubbing my clit. I whimper his name when I orgasm, but he keeps doing what he’s doing and whispers in my ear:  
“Come for me again, my love.”

I open my eyes and look at him, putting one of my hands on his cheek. He leans his head into my hand, like he can’t get enough contact. I reach out with my other hand and run my fingers through his hair and along his beard. He moans at the feeling and kisses me as I orgasm again, whispering his name against his lips. He follows me over and comes with a moan against my lips. When he pulls out he lays down next to me, pulling me into his arms. 

“I missed you so much, Ope. Don’t leave me again.”  
“I never intend to. I love you baby. I will talk to Clay about staying with you until you graduate.”  
“I can talk to Clay…He’s been exceptionally nice to me since Jax fucked the whore.”  
“Or…maybe his being nice is more closely related to the fact that you slit your fucking wrists while pregnant with his grandchild?”  
“You’re mad about that, huh?”  
“Baby…You slit your wrists. Yeah, I’m a little irked. I love you and would be really, really unhappy if you were dead. If you could avoid situations that could cause that in the future I would appreciate it.”  
“You’re trying really hard not to yell at me, aren’t you?”  
“Yup. Yelling at you would not do any good. I’m just happy I can hold you again.”  
“The babies are okay. I had an ultrasound two days ago, they are growing properly and their brains and hearts are developing on schedule. Neither of them shows the genetic heart issue from Gemma’s side either.”  
“That’s good love. I’m really glad that the babies are okay. But I’m more glad that you are.”  
“I know…I’m sorry. I didn’t think it though. I just missed you so much, and then Jax and Ima, I couldn’t handle it. I lost it.”  
“You can’t do that again Veronica. I cannot lose you.”  
“You won’t. I’ve been going to therapy and it’s been helping. I’m still sad and emotional a lot and make the boys worry, but I’m better than I was. The strangest thing keeps happening though.”  
“What’s that?”  
“I lie down for a nap and wake up with Tig next to me. He keeps showing up and climbing onto the bed to hold me. When he first started showing up he would be sitting on the edge of the bed when I woke up, but for the past two months or so, he’s been asleep next to me when I wake up.”  
“He loves you, like a daughter…mostly…I think.”  
“He feels guilty for telling me about Jax.”  
“How often do you wake up with him here?”  
“At least three times a week. Logan gave him a key to the house so he can come and go as he pleases.”  
“Is that why you locked the bedroom door?”  
“Nope. I locked the bedroom door because I live with a bunch of people and have a bunch more people that come and go as they please…And all of those people feel like they have the right to just walk into my bedroom. I started locking the door the first time Dick walked in on me masturbating.”  
“He left right away right?”  
“Yeah…Very apologetically. He was awkward around me for days.”

He laughs and says:  
“Good….”  
I look at him and roll my eyes.  
“Ask the question, Ope. I know you want to.”  
“Did you have sex with anyone while I was in? I know you had a rough few months, and there’s that whole ‘solace in sex’ thing…”

I put my hands on his face and look in his eyes.  
“No, Ope. I have not had sex with anyone since the night before you went to prison.”  
“You and Jax didn’t? After I went in?”  
“No. The kids and I were all upset. I ended up sleeping in their room with them. They wanted me, but Ellie didn’t want Jax near her.”  
“Why?”  
“He kissed me in front of her and she flipped out. I think she thought that I was leaving you for him and I wouldn’t be there for her anymore. I tried explaining, but she didn’t get it.”  
“How did Jax take that?”  
“Badly. I told him she’d get over it and things would be better, but I’m pretty sure it was a contributing factor to how drunk he got before sleeping with Ima.”  
“So you know he was drunk?”  
“Yeah. I know. If it wasn’t Ima, I probably would have forgiven him by now, but…”  
“But the idea of the man you love fucking a porn star is a problem?”  
“The fact that she’s a porn star isn’t the issue. It’s…I don’t know. I can’t explain it. If it was Lyla I’d have less of an issue. I just hate Ima…so much.”  
“So…I’m a big believer in the statement that a lie of omission is still a lie, and now seems like the time when I should say…”  
“You’ve fucked Lyla? I know babe.”  
“How?”  
“Lyla came to see me after the Jax and Ima thing. She wanted me to hear about it from her so I didn’t break up with you.”  
“Would you have?”  
“No. I told you. I’m in this. I’m yours. Besides, it was before we were together.”  
“I wanted you…but I couldn’t have you. It was after Kozik made me leave Tacoma. I didn’t think I’d see you again. She has that tiny blonde thing happening…I pretended she was you. She went along with it.”  
“It’s okay babe. You don’t need to explain.”

I lean in and kiss him.  
“I love you. We should get dressed and go back downstairs before Abuelita needs to leave.”  
“Yeah…okay.”  
“You are staying…right?”  
“I’m not going anywhere Veronica.”

I kiss him again and then we get up to get dressed. I open the door and end up face to face with Tig. I turn to look at Opie and say:  
“See?”  
He just laughs and hugs Tig. Tig says:  
“Good to see you brother. I was just…”  
“Showing up to wrap yourself around my old lady while she naps?”  
“Yeah. It’s nothing sexual…I just love her and she hasn’t been doing great.”  
“I know, Tig. It’s fine.”

When they step back from each other I wrap my arms around Tig’s waist. He wraps his around my shoulders and kisses the top of my head.  
“How are you today sweetheart?”  
“I’m great. Ope’s home. I’m fucking perfect.”  
“Jax is headed this way. Clay called me when I was on the road.”  
“Why?”  
“Someone told him about you slitting your wrists.”  
“But Piney promised me that he got rid of that message. I don’t want him here.” 

Opie clears his throat and says:  
“Yeah…That’s my fault. In my defence though, Dick told me Jax knew and asked me to talk to him.”  
“Yeah…he didn’t know.”  
“But everyone else did? The whole club? His parents? Everyone kept it from him?”  
“Yeah…Gemma and I thought it best. I didn’t want him coming here because I tried to kill myself. I wanted him to show up because he wanted to be here. Gemma thought finding out about this would throw him into a spiral, apparently he hasn’t been doing great mentally since I left him.”  
“So everyone he loves has been lying to him for months, and it was to avoid a spiral? He’s going to lose his shit when he finds out.”  
“I know.”  
“And for the record, he didn’t show up because he was trying to respect what you seemed to want. You wouldn’t even talk to him on the phone, it’s not crazy for him to assume that you didn’t want him here.”  
“Damn you for being reasonable. I’m trying to hate him.”

He pulls me out of Tig’s arms and puts his hands on my face.  
“I know. But he’s the love of your life babe. You need to talk to him, to forgive him.”  
“Ugh.”

I pull away from him and walk downstairs. When I get to the living room, I see that Abuelita is gone and Eli is lying on the couch with the kids climbing on him ‘watching’ the movie.  
“Did Felix take Abuelita home?”  
“Yeah V. She left dinner cooking.”

I laugh a little and shake my head before walking into the kitchen. I open the oven and breathe in the scent of cabbage rolls before closing the oven again.  
“She made cabbage rolls?!”  
“Yeah…Apparently she’s been talking to your Dad…Kozik.”  
“He remembered that I told him Lianne used to make them.”  
“I remember Lianne’s…they were delicious.”  
“Yeah. When she wasn’t a negligent drunk she was a pretty good cook.”  
“Abuelita also made fresh pirogies. They’re in the fridge. You just have to fry them.”  
“When did she master the Polish foods?”  
“She and Kozik have been spending a lot of time together when he’s in town…What with him being the kids’ Gramps and all.”

I turn to look at Opie and say:  
“Oh yeah…Ellie and Kenny call Kozik ‘Gramps’ and Clay ‘Grandpa’ now…So there’s that.”  
“And Pop?”  
“They call him ‘Pop’. He said they could. Abel does too.”  
“And Eli’s grandmother is ‘Abuelita’ to everyone?”

Tig speaks up before I can answer and says:  
“No. The people outside of what she considers her family call her Mrs. Navarro or Lettie. I get to call her Lettie, so does Kozik. Logan has to call her Mrs. Navarro, so does Dick. Basically it’s just Eli, Felix, Veronica, Meg, Mac, and the kids that get to call her Abuelita…Oh, and Juice. She loves Juice.”

Eli speaks up and says:  
“You should call her Mrs. Navarro. She’s not happy with you.”  
“What did I do?”  
“You got V pregnant without being married to her and then you went to prison and left her alone.”  
“So she’s mad about something that wasn’t my fault?”  
“She’s an old Catholic lady who has held out hope since Veronica was seven that one day Veronica would be Veronica Navarro. Now V is Veronica Winston. Abuelita’s just smarting a bit, and she’s going to take it out on you. Suck it up Sasquatch.” 

I sigh and shake my head.  
“Eli, must you call him that?”  
“He’s a giant who insists on being entirely too hairy. Yes. I must.”  
“You ever think you just don’t have enough hair?”  
“You used to like my bald head, V.”  
“Temporary insanity. Go home, Eli.”  
“Okay. Is it still cool if I come over tomorrow before school for you to help me with this damn Calculus?”  
“Of course.”  
“Thanks V.”

He gets up off the couch and walks over to me before kissing my cheek.  
“You call me if you need me tonight when that jackass shows up.”  
“I’ll have Opie, Logan, and Dick here. I think I’ll be okay. But thanks.”

He leaves the room and I turn to look at Tig.  
“You staying for dinner?”  
“Nah. I should head back. Unless you want me here when Jax shows up.”  
“No, I’m okay. Thanks Tig.”  
“I guess I can’t come for naps anymore, huh?”  
“It is four hours each way, Tig. Maybe it’s not the best use of your time?”  
“Does it help you?”  
“Yes. It’s nice to be held by someone who loves me. Someone who doesn’t have an ulterior motive. Does it help you?”  
“Yes. I’m sorry baby. I shouldn’t have told you when you were so far away. I was just so pissed at Jax.”  
“I never asked…How did you know?”  
“Juice walked into the apartment one morning. Found them asleep, curled together in their underwear. He woke Jax up with a punch to the face…In Jax’s defence, he looked shocked to see her next to him when he woke up.”  
“Because he was blackout drunk. He didn’t realize what he had done.”  
“Yeah…I guess.”

I hug Tig and kiss his cheek before he leaves the house. I turn and wrap my arms around Opie’s waist and say:  
“Have I mentioned how happy I am to have to you home?”  
“You may have mentioned it a time or two, yeah.”

I hear my phone ringing, but I don’t know where it is. I look at Opie and he reaches in his pocket and hands it to me.  
“I took it off you at the school.”

I look at the caller ID and answer it:  
“Hey Lyla.”  
“Hey…I have a video you need to see. And I’m actually in Neptune. Can I come to the house?”  
“Yeah. Why are you in Neptune?”  
“Working a private party for a seriously gross movie star.”  
“Who?”  
“Aaron Echolls.”  
“Is the party tonight?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Cancel. Do not go to his house Lyla. How much was he going to pay you?”  
“$10,000. Why do I need to cancel?”  
“He’s violent. He’s almost killed Logan many times. He beat his wife within an inch of her life a few times too. He’s the one who murdered Lilly. Do not go to his house. I will pay you what you’re missing out on. I know you need the money for Piper. Come to the house.”  
“I’ll be right there.”

I hang up and Opie looks at me, raising an eyebrow.  
“What, babe?”  
“Since when are you worried about Lyla’s safety?”  
“Oh…We’ve become friends over the past few months. She came to town to help Meg with something, we all spent the weekend in true sleepover fashion: pyjamas, ice cream, pizza, chick flicks, talking about boys…It was fun.”  
“What did she need to help Meg with?”  
“Meg didn’t know what she liked, sexually…I mean, besides Juice. I asked Lyla to come over and help her discover herself a bit.”  
“Did you pay her?”  
“I offered. She did it for free, and now Meg and I have a new friend.”  
“And you’re fine with the fact that she’s fucked me?”  
“Yup. I wouldn’t be fine if you did it again, but the past thing? Yeah. It’s all good.”

There’s a knock on the door and I walk over to answer it. It’s Lyla, so I hug her before stepping back to let her in. She says:  
“I saw the bike outside. Is Tig here?”  
“No. Opie’s home.”  
“When did he get out?”  
“Today.”  
“This could have waited love.”  
“No, it’s fine. You can show me the video and spend the night tonight. I don’t want you driving all that way in the dark.”  
“Is Meg still living here?”  
“No. She moved in with Duncan when he pulled his head out of his ass. You can sleep in Logan’s room. He’ll sleep on the couch or in with Dick.”  
“Okay. Thanks, V.”  
“No problem. Opie’s in the living room.”

She starts walking that way when there’s another knock on the door. I take a deep breath and answer it. Jax is standing in front of me. He looks sadder than usual, his blue eyes aren’t as sparkly as they normally are, and his hair is longer. He’s got it brushed back and it’s almost touching his collar.   
“Hi.”  
“Hey beautiful. I’m sorry I didn’t come before. I thought you didn’t want to see me.”

I step forward and wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my face into his chest. I feel him take a shaky breath before he wraps his arms around my waist. He presses his face into the top of my head and whispers:  
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…I’m so sorry Veronica. I would never hurt you on purpose. I didn’t…”  
“You didn’t realize what you had done. You were blackout drunk. I know.”

Lyla speaks from behind me:  
“Actually, he wasn’t. He didn’t actually do anything wrong. You both really need to watch this video I have.”  
“Okay. We’ll be right there.”

I step back from Jax and he grabs my hands, looking at my wrists.  
“You slit your wrists?”  
“Yeah. It was a stupid, impulsive decision. I’m good now though…Going to therapy has been helping.”  
“How are the babies?”  
“Good. Developing properly. Neither of them show signs of the heart defect. Gemma knows, she came to my ultrasound the other day. I sent her home with pictures for you.”  
“She didn’t say anything.”  
“Typical Gemma…Before we go in, you should know that Abel has picked up on his siblings’ habit of calling Opie ‘Daddy’. I just don’t want that to throw you when you hear it.”  
“It’s okay. We’ll figure out something else for the kids to call me…Ronnie, can I please kiss you?”  
“We do need to talk about you lying to me about when I was in Seattle.”   
“I know.”  
I step closer to him again and put my hand on his neck, pulling him closer. I kiss him, pouring all the love I have for him into it. He matches my intensity and when we pull apart we’re both breathing heavily and he has tears in his eyes.  
“I missed you so much baby. I’m sorry I didn’t just show up sooner. I should have been here for you.”  
“I’m sorry I cut you out without letting you explain. At first it wasn’t really my choice, when you called back Logan answered because I was in surgery to repair my veins…But I let it continue. I let Logan and Dick arrange for us to be moved out, I came along when we came back to Neptune. I didn’t answer your calls because it was easier to be numb if I didn’t hear your voice. I’m so sorry, Jax. I’m sorry I left you alone.”  
“I love you, Veronica. I meant it when I said I was yours. I am yours, if you’ll take me back.”  
“I love you. Let’s go see this very important video Lyla has and go from there, okay?”  
“Okay.”  
“Go inside. I’ll be right there.”

As he walks away, I pull my phone out and call Clarence.  
“Miss Winston. How can I help you?”  
“Hey CW. I need to know if my father is still going to buy me the house in Charming he promised.”  
“Yes. The land has been purchased, and more than enough money to design, build, and decorate the house has been set aside. Would you like me to contact an architect for you to start the design process?”  
“Yes. Please. Preferably someone in Charming. I’ll be there this weekend, so I can meet with them Saturday morning.”  
“I will do that.”  
“Thanks CW.”  
“Uh…Veronica? It’s not really my place, but…He misses you. Maybe you should just apologize to Duncan.”  
“Duncan shoved me into a wall knowing I was pregnant. He screamed in my face. I calmly banished him so the guys wouldn’t kill him. If Dad misses me so damn much, maybe he should stop siding with my abusive brother.”  
“Okay sweetheart. I will contact the architect.”  
“Thank you.”

I hang up and walk inside. I get in the living room and Lyla is sitting in a corner of the couch, trying to make herself as small as possible, and Opie and Jax are sitting together on the other end.   
“Where are the kids?”  
“On the beach with Logan.”  
“Okay.”

I sit next to Lyla and pull her towards me, wrapping my arm around her shoulders.   
“It’s okay La. Breathe.”  
“Neither of them is happy I’m here.”  
“They’ll deal. And they’ll be civil.”

I look at the guys and say:  
“Lyla is my friend. You will treat her like you treat Meg or Mac.”  
Both of them look at each other and then at me before saying:  
“Okay.”

I look back at Lyla and say:  
“So? What’s this video you have?”  
“Ima…Confessing what actually happened that night. Luann accidentally got it on film when we were recording the other day. She gave it to me to get to you.”  
“Well, let’s see it then.”

She presses play on the remote and turns up the volume so we can hear what’s happening. Ima and another girl are sitting on a bed in front of the camera, and the girl says:  
“So you’ve fucked Jax right? He’s hot. How was it?”  
“Acceptable. But I haven’t gotten to fuck him in almost a year. He caved a couple of times when he first came back from Seattle with that brat, but after that decided he “loved” that whore he was with there, and wouldn’t touch me again.”

I hear Lyla’s voice say:  
“I thought you had sex with him right after Ope went to prison.”  
Ima laughs and says:  
“Yeah…That bitch thinks so too. I hear she slit her wrists…That’s hilarious, because he didn’t do anything.”  
“What do you mean, he didn’t do anything? Didn’t he wake up next to you basically naked?”

Ima laughs again and says:  
“He got drunk and passed out in the apartment. I went in there to see if I could convince him to have some fun, but I couldn’t wake him up. When I went in to use the washroom I noticed that bitch’s coconut shampoo and marshmallow bodywash in the shower. So I showered and made myself smell like her. Put my underwear back on and climbed into bed with him. As soon as he caught her scent he pulled me into his arms. Still didn’t get any fun that night, but it’s amusing how quickly she believed that he would cheat.”  
“Why would you do that? They were engaged, she’s pregnant with his child.”  
“She’s a bitch and she broke my fucking face.”  
“God, you are a horrible person. Veronica is fine now, just so you know. The babies are good, and she’ll forgive Jax at some point. She’s going to get her happily ever after…you on the other hand? You’re an aging porn star. You’re headed for a miserable existence.”

The video cuts out and Lyla turns it off.  
“Jax didn’t do anything wrong. He was drunk and passed out and he thought it was you climbing into bed with him.”

I had started crying halfway through the video, and now I shove off the couch and run for the bathroom. I barely make it to the toilet before I start throwing up. I hear footsteps behind me before I feel hands on my back and my hair. Jax says:  
“It’s okay, baby.”  
“No. It’s not. She made it all up. She destroyed our lives because she was fucking jealous.”  
“I’ll fix it.”  
“No, you won’t. I will.”

I grab some toilet paper and wipe my mouth before flushing the toilet and standing up. I rinse out my mouth with some water and pull my phone out. I dial Clarence’s number and wait for him to answer.  
“Veronica.”  
“CW, remember how you asked if you could deal with that whore?”  
“Yeah. I remember. Would you like me to?”  
“Yes. She made the whole thing up. I have a video confession. Get rid of her. It can’t be tied to me or the club. And none of Luann’s other girls can get hurt.”  
“Do you know where she is tonight?”  
“I will in one second.”

I walk out to the living room and say:  
“Is she at that party tonight?”  
Lyla nods.

I say to Clarence:  
“She’ll be at Aaron Echolls’ house tonight for a private party. You have her picture?”  
“Yes. Do you want me to implicate him?”  
“Sure. Don’t get caught CW.”  
“Kiddo…Who are you talking to right now?”  
“A shady-ass man whose backstory is a fucking mystery?”  
“Yup. But my shady ass is on your payroll. It’ll be handled.”  
“Thank you.”

I hang up and Jax looks at me like I’ve grown a second head.  
“What?”  
“Dear God, you need to spend less time with Gemma.”  
“I don’t need you to fight all my battles.”  
“Who did you just call? Who is CW?”  
“Clarence.”  
“Is he an assassin?”  
“I’m pretty sure he’s ex-CIA actually.”

I hear the front door close at that moment and hear Duncan’s voice say:  
“Actually, he’s ex-Mossad.”  
“That’s even more terrifying. Why are you here?”  
“To apologize. I miss you Ronnie. I’m so sorry for what I said that night. I didn’t mean any of it. I’m sorry about the wall too. I deserved to be banished, and I know you told the guys I was off-limits and they couldn’t hurt me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t with you in Peru. I’m sorry you almost died without any of your family with you. I’m sorry I made Dad choose me, I’m sorry you’ve been alone.”  
“I haven’t been alone. I built my own damn family. I have Abuelita, Eli, Felix, Logan, Dick, Mac, Meg, Tig, Gemma, Clay, Juice, the kids, and my Dad…The only one I’m choosing to acknowledge as my Dad. The only one who chose me, who keeps choosing me. The only one who didn’t abandon me. It’s sad that he’s the only one who is not biologically or legally actually my Dad, but oh well.”  
“I miss my sister. I’m sorry Veronica.”  
“Thank you for apologizing, but can you please leave? I can’t deal with this today.”

I walk past him and go up the stairs to my room. I lie down on the bed and wait — I know someone is going to follow me, they always do. I’m surprised when Lyla walks in.   
“How did you manage to convince them that you should come comfort me?”  
“I didn’t…Opie suggested it.”

She lies down on the bed behind me and wraps her arms around me, resting one hand on my stomach.   
“Let it out Ronnie. I’m here.”

I start to silently cry, and she just holds me. After we’d been laying there for a while, Logan comes upstairs.   
“Ronnie, you want me to fry up the pirogies and give the kids their dinner?”  
“Please. Thanks Lo. I’ll be right down.”  
“We’re fine. Take your time. I’m only offering about dinner because Opie and Jax seem pretty involved in their conversation.”  
“Okay. Thanks.”

As he walks away, I roll over to face Lyla.  
“Thank you, La.”  
“You’re welcome. Thank you for not letting me go to that party.”  
“He’s dangerous. I wish you wouldn’t work these private parties anyways, but when I know that the person throwing it is capable of hurting people, there’s no way I could live with myself if something happened to you.”  
“The money is good…and it’s very little work.”  
“I know. I just worry.”  
“I know, but I only have a few more years in this niche. I have to milk it while I still look like everyone’s kid sister.”  
“I get it. And as your friend I promise not to interfere too much.”  
“As my friend, do you think you could interfere a little?”  
“How?”  
“Luann is having money problems, she’s in danger of losing the studio. If she goes under I’m going to have to work for a really awful guy. She went to the club for a partnership, but Clay doesn’t want to get more involved in pussy. Apparently running guns is safer? Porn is a legitimate business and would help bring the club’s activities to the legal side of things, but he refused to bring it to a vote.”  
“Do you want my money or my influence with Clay?”  
“I was thinking your money…And Logan’s…And Dick’s. You guys could incorporate and your business could invest in Luann’s studio.”  
“Umm…Maybe? I’d need to talk to them, and see Luann’s books, and talk to my lawyer and investment guy. I’ll talk to Luann this weekend while I’m in Charming and we’ll go from there, okay?”  
“Thinking about it is all I ask. Thank you.”

She leans forward and gently kisses me before pulling away and getting off the bed.  
“Let’s go downstairs and see what those men of yours are talking about.”  
“Yeah, okay.”  
She takes a few steps out of the bedroom before turning around.  
“Do you think Logan would be interested in sleeping in his room with me?”  
“You mean, do I think an eighteen year old male would be interested in fucking a porn star?”  
“Yeah…that.”  
“Yeah, he’d probably be interested.”  
“He’s kinda ridiculously hot.”  
“I hear good things about him in bed too.”  
“You’ve never?”  
“Ew. Logan is my best friend…No.”  
“So, you’d be okay with it?”  
“Yes. Better you than the skank he was sleeping with last. She was Dick’s step-mom.”  
“Ew…”  
“Don’t get me wrong, she was hot…Just, a skanky gold-digger.”

Lyla laughs and we walk downstairs. As we walk into the kitchen, Dick wraps his arm around my shoulders and whispers in my ear:  
“You okay, Ronnie? You want me to get rid of Jax?”  
“I’m good Dick. We’re good. No getting rid of him required.”

I walk over to the CD player and put in the CD Duncan made for me. I skip to the song I’m looking for, press play, and turn up the volume. Once it starts playing, Jax turns and looks at me with tears in his eyes. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist.   
“I’m sorry I didn’t believe in you, Jax. I should have known you never would have cheated on me.”  
“I thought I had, so why should I expect different from you?”  
“The song still makes me think of you. I’ve been skipping it for the last four months because it made me cry.”  
“Can I come home? Please?”  
“I thought you already were. Stay with us.”

He puts his hands on my neck and kisses me before saying:  
“I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”  
“I love you. I still want to marry you.”  
“Vegas is open 24 hours a day, baby. We can go right now.”  
“Or we could just go to City Hall in Charming on Friday.”  
“Or that. I’m all about the fairytale baby.”  
“Uh-huh.”

Opie comes over and wraps his arms around us before kissing Jax and then me.  
“I love you both. When do the kids go to bed?”  
“In a couple of hours. Dinner, story/dance time with Uncles, bath time, story time with Mama, bed. We need to figure out what the kids are going to call Jax.”

There’s a knock on the door and I pull away from our hug to go answer it. When I open the door I see Keith standing on the doorstep.  
“Sheriff Mars. How can I help you?”  
“Veronica…Don’t be like that.”  
“How should I be? Should I be hugging you and calling you Daddy? You haven’t spoken to me in four months…Even after Kozik and Leo came to you and told you I slit my fucking wrists and almost died. Even after they told you I was pregnant. You just abandoned me. So no, you are not my Dad anymore. You are the Sheriff, that’s it. So how the fuck can I help you, Sheriff?”  
“We released all the contents of Don Lamb’s apartment today. There were fairly extensive journals, Sacks photocopied every entry that had anything to do with you, you should read them…They’re enlightening. Also, he had multiple photo albums and framed photos of the two of you over the years. I thought you might want to go through them for Abel one day.”  
“Yes…That’s what I want. Pictures of my rapist.”  
“I understand that it was rape and that is how you see it, but it’s not how he saw it. Read the journal entries then decide how you want to remember Don.”

He hands me a box that was sitting by his feet on the doorstep.

“Fine. Is that everything Sheriff?”  
“How are you Veronica?”  
“Peachy. Have a good night Sheriff.”

I step back into the house and close the door in his face. I put the box down in the office, then walk into the living room and sit on the couch before starting to cry. Jax and Opie come and sit on either side of me, wrapping their arms around me and each other so they can both hug me, their foreheads resting on the sides of my head. 

There’s another knock on the door and Dick goes to answer it.  
“Go away Sheriff.”  
“Dick, let me in.”  
“She doesn’t want anything to do with you.”  
“She’s my daughter!”  
“No, sir. She isn’t. Jake is her biological father, but you both abandoned her when she needed you. The only father she acknowledges now is Kozik. The one who chose her, and keeps choosing her. The one that’s been here. The one who held her as she cried when she found out that her trying to fucking kill herself didn’t hurt her babies. The one who took her to her first ultrasound for the babies and held her hand as they checked for heart and brain problems.”

I can’t hear Keith’s response, but I hear Lyla approach the door and say:  
“Dick, let me try.”  
I hear Keith say:  
“Who are you?”  
“Lyla. I’m Veronica’s friend. I’m the one who held her and stroked her hair while she cried herself to sleep on your birthday and on her birthday because you wouldn’t answer the fucking phone. I’m the one she called on the first day of school when Wallace wouldn’t speak to her because you told him she was a whore. Your words. A whore. You called YOUR DAUGHTER a whore because she dares to love two men…Two men who love her and each other more than I’ve ever seen anyone love anyone else. Two men who have protected her and cared for her. Two men she considers her safe space. See, I actually am a whore. I have sex for money. I’m a porn star…But you know the one thing my Daddy has never called me? …A whore. Because it’s hurtful and degrading, and you don’t use language like that with people you love. That girl in there is one of the strongest, sweetest, most loving individuals I’ve ever met. Considering what she’s been through, it’s nothing less than a triumph of her will. Her will, and the love of the people closest to her…Like Jax and Opie. The fact that you can’t see that is quite frankly, insanity.”

Keith doesn’t respond and so Lyla continues:  
“She has had a really tough day emotionally and she doesn’t need this right now. Please go away.”

I hear Keith say quietly:  
“You say she isn’t a whore, but she’s friends with a porn star. That’s not who I raised her to be.”

Jax growls and jumps up before I can stop him. He storms over to the door and yells at Keith:  
“You fucking asshole. You may have raised Veronica one way, but then you let her go with her abusive drunk mother. She adapted to fucking survive. First Lianne’s boyfriend physically abused her, then Lamb raped her, she got pregnant, had only me for support because Lianne was FUCKING USELESS, then when I left town she was brutally raped on a daily basis by Lianne’s boyfriend and Lianne blamed Veronica for it. She has scars on her body from him taking his knife to her when she wouldn’t cooperate. He broke her fucking cheekbone the one time she dared to actually fight back. You knew something was wrong and YOU LEFT HER THERE! You don’t get to be disappointed in how she survived. You should be fucking impressed with how soft and loving and sweet she still is. How quickly she stepped up to raise Opie’s kids when Donna died, how fiercely she fights to protect everyone she loves…She is amazing, and if you can’t see that because she loves both Ope and me and is friends with a porn star, then you don’t deserve her, so to hell with you.”

I hear the door slam and then Jax and Lyla walk into the room together, Jax’s arm around Lyla’s shoulders. I get up and wrap my arms around Lyla, hugging her tightly before gently kissing her and letting her go. She walks into the kitchen and Logan wraps his arms around her and whispers in her ear.

I turn to Jax and kiss him.  
“I love you. So much. I feel like I haven’t been able to breathe for the past four months with both of you gone. Don’t leave me again.”  
“We’re not going anywhere, love. I promise, you’re stuck with us.”

He picks me up and carries me to the couch, sitting down and putting me on Opie’s lap. I snuggle into Ope, pressing my face into his neck and inhaling. I sit like that for a minute until I feel a child climb onto me, and then another. I open my eyes and look straight into Abel’s bright blue ones as he’s nose to nose with me.  
“Mama sad?”  
“Not anymore. Can I have a kiss?”

He scrunches up his face and makes a kiss face, so I give him loud smacking kisses all over his face as he giggles. 

I hear Kenny say:  
“Me next Mama!”  
“Well, okay. But where are you?”  
He climbs over my shoulder from the other side of Opie. When he’s in front of me he scrunches up his face like Abel did and I give him the same loud smacking kisses. He starts giggling, but then I start tickling him and he starts laughing hysterically, rolling around on top of me trying to escape. 

Ellie starts bouncing up and down on my legs saying:  
“Mama! It’s my turn!”  
“Well, I can’t kiss you with my knees. Come up here silly girl.”

Dick walks over and scoops up Abel and Kenny and says:  
“Come on stinky boys. It’s bath time.”  
“Thanks Dick.”  
“Anytime.”

Once Kenny and Abel are out of the way, Ellie scrambles up my body and starts to scrunch up her face before she sees something outside and screams.   
“What Ellie?”  
“There was a man out there. In the yard.”

Opie picks me up and puts me on the couch before getting up and opening the backdoor.  
“Jesus Christ, Sheriff. You’re not going to leave until you talk to her, are you?”  
“No.”  
“Well, your creeping around scared our daughter. So thanks for that.”

I snuggle Ellie and say:  
“It’s okay baby-girl. He’s the Sheriff. You remember Mama’s friend Sacks?”  
“Yes…”  
“Sacks works for the Sheriff. Uncle Leo used to too.”  
“Hmmm.”  
“Give Mama kisses and then Daddy will take you for your bath.”  
“I want Dad to.”

She reaches back for Jax as she says this.  
“You sure you don’t want Daddy? He’s really good at washing hair.”  
“Yeah, but Dad lets me blow bubbles.”  
“Ah. Whatever you want sweets. Aunty La will go with you too, okay?”  
“Okay!”

She scrunches up her face and I cover it with loud smacking kisses just like her brothers.   
“I love you Ellie.”  
“I love you Mama.”  
She reaches for Opie and when he picks her up to hug her she says:  
“I love you Daddy. I’m glad you’re home.”  
“I love you baby girl.”

Opie passes Ellie to Jax and Ellie says:  
“Dad, I know it’s been a while since you gave me a bath because you’ve been gone too, but Aunty La knows what to do, so you should listen to her. She’ll teach you. For starters, I get to have my bath in Mama’s bathtub.”

Jax looks at me and I nod.  
“She gets music and bubbles too. She’s exceptionally high maintenance.”  
“Oh, so just like her Mama then.”  
He smirks and leans over to kiss me.  
“I’ll handle story time. Talk to Keith.”

They leave the room and I get up off the couch and walk into the kitchen. I make myself and Opie up plates of food and microwave them because of course, the food is cold. When we’re both sitting at the kitchen counter I say:  
“What?”  
“I just want to apologize for how I’ve been treating you. When I first came around the back it was to yell at Jax, but seeing the three of you with the kids, seeing the love and happiness that is there…I realize, I’m a fucking moron. You’re all committed to each other and those kids. The fact that I somehow overlooked that is really disappointing. I’m sorry I abandoned you when you needed me. I’m sorry I judged you for choices I didn’t understand.”

Logan quietly sneaks out of the room and walks into the office, closing the door behind him. I take a bite of cabbage roll, chewing slowly before swallowing and saying:  
“What hurt was that you didn’t even try to understand. You didn’t ask me to explain it, you just walked away. I love them so much it feels like I can’t breathe when they are gone. The last four months when I didn’t have either of them was agony. I know it’s difficult to understand, because it’s not the norm…But if a bunch of stubborn bikers can get it, you can too.”  
“I can’t even describe to you how sorry I am, Veronica. I know I don’t deserve another chance, but will you let me be a part of your lives again?”  
“Fine. But if you walk away again, we’re done. I can’t go through this again.”

I take another bite of dinner and then say:  
“Did you eat? Abuelita made cabbage rolls and pirogies. They are really good.”  
“Abuelita?”  
“Lettie Navarro.”  
“You call her Abuelita?”  
“Yes. Because she is the one consistent parental/grandparental figure I’ve had in my life. She is my family.”  
“And how do Jax and Opie feel about you having such a close bond with your ex-boyfriend’s grandmother?”

I shrug.  
“I have a close bond with Eli too. He’s ‘Uncle Eli’ to the kids. My family is a hodgepodge of people, but it’s filled with love.”  
“So for the past four months, who has been your family?”  
“Abuelita; my Dad — don’t look at me like that, Kozik is my Dad; Logan; Dick; Eli; Felix; Meg; Mac; Tig; Leo; Piney; Gemma; Clay and Juice. Abuelita is here with the kids everyday while I’m at school. I talk to Leo, Tig, Kozik, and Gemma on the phone everyday at the bare minimum. Gemma’s been coming out a lot. Tig is here at least three times a week, Kozik is here as much as he can be, and Leo has been showing up randomly to take the kids and I on outings.”  
“And the others?”  
“Logan and Dick live here. Eli and Felix are here pretty much constantly. I hang out with Meg and Mac at school and they are here a lot too. Juice visits when he can, calls when he can’t. Clay’s been out multiple times. And while Piney hasn’t been here a lot, he is Opie’s Dad, so we’ve been making trips to Charming to see him.”

Opie looks at me and says:  
“You have? How didn’t you run into Jax while you were avoiding him then?”  
“We only went to the cabin. Visited with him, Clay and Gemma.”  
“Ah.”

I look at Keith and say:  
“You never answered the question about dinner.”  
“I’m good sweetheart. Thank you. I’m going to go and let you enjoy the first night Opie and Jax are home.”  
“Thank you.”  
“Can I hug you?”  
“Yes.”

I stand up and quickly hug him, stepping back before he holds me for too long, then I sit back down to finish my dinner. Opie stands up and says:  
“I’ll walk you out, Sheriff.”

When they are near the front door, I can hear Opie say quietly:  
“If you hurt my old lady again, we are going to have a problem. I don’t care if you are the Sheriff or her Dad. The shit you pulled was fucking unacceptable, and I would have killed you for it.”  
“I understand. It won’t happen again.”

I hear the front door open and close and then Opie walks up behind me and kisses my neck.  
“Don’t act all innocent like you didn’t just threaten the Sheriff.”  
“If he hurts you again I don’t care who he is.”  
I tilt my head back and kiss him.  
“I love you.”  
“I love you. I’m going to go join story time.”  
“Okay. I’ll be up in a bit.”

I stand up and put away the leftovers from dinner before loading and starting the dishwasher. Before I leave the room, I wipe down all the counters and lock the back door. I walk into the office and say:  
“Why don’t we bring the box of pain into the living room?”  
“He loved you.”  
“What?”  
“These journal entries…Lamb loved you.”  
“Bring it to the living room.”

I pick up the box holding the photo albums and framed pictures and carry it into the living room, settling at one end of the couch with the box in front of me. I pull out the framed pictures and grin at the first one. It’s of Don and I when I was 12, we’re sitting on the floor in our Christmas pyjamas in front of the Christmas tree in our old living room. Don is sitting with his legs spread and I’m sitting between them, leaning back against his chest. We’ve both got these stupid goofy grins on our faces, holding up these reindeer poop novelty candy dispensers that we got in our stockings. It was the third Christmas he spent with us.

I put that picture down on the coffee table and look at the next one. I feel my eyes fill with tears, I remember this night. It was my 11th birthday, and Dad had to work and Mom was supposed to take me to the fair, but she was drunk. Don had the night off, so I called him and asked if he would take me. The picture is of us on the ferris wheel, I’m holding a giant teddy bear that he had won me from one of the ring tossing games. He had his arm around my shoulders and he was kissing the top of my head. 

I put it down on the coffee table with the other and look at the last framed picture. My breath catches in my throat. It’s a picture of Don and I from my 15th birthday. Lilly had dragged me to some party and had picked my outfit, so I was wearing a tight pair of light blue jeans and a black halter top. My hair is up in a complicated updo, and I’m wearing large silver hoop earrings. Don is wearing his uniform because he had been sent to break up the party. We’re facing each other, his hand is on my lower back, and he’s leaning in and talking into my ear. I remember he was trying to convince me to let him take me home. Right after this picture was taken, Logan pulled me out of Don’s arms and we walked away.

I put that picture down on the coffee table too and start to dig through the box. I find a DVD that just says ‘November 15’.   
“Lo?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Can you come here? I found a DVD and I think I need to watch it, but I don’t want to be alone.”  
“Yeah.”

He walks in the room and moves the box off the couch. He takes the DVD from me and puts it in the player, then sits on the couch and pulls me tight against his side. He presses play and we wait for the video to start. The first part of the video is my statement about Lilly’s death. I’m sitting on my bed in Lianne’s apartment, and my conversation with Don is easy and friendly. He had the camera set up on a tripod, so you can see him sitting in a chair next to the bed, leaning forward into my space, occasionally reaching out to touch my hand or knee. 

“Jesus Christ…You’re right. How did I miss that?”  
“We all missed it. He loved you. From the time you were tiny. At first he describes his love as that of an Uncle or older cousin, but by the time we were 14 he was describing you in a very sexual way.”

We watch the rest of the interview, then the video cuts to me walking through the parking lot, my hair newly cut, wearing my black miniskirt and corset top under a leather jacket. 

The next scene of the video takes place in Don’s hotel room. The camera is on the tripod again. I’m wearing my panties and bra, and Don is just wearing jeans. We are both very clearly drunk. 

“I don’t remember this. I don’t remember him being drunk.”  
Logan pauses the DVD and says:  
“Veronica, we knew your memory about that night was incomplete. Do you want me to continue?”  
“Yeah. I need to know.”

He presses play and pulls me a little tighter against his side. We keep watching the video.

Don pulls me over to him and down onto his lap so I’m straddling him. He runs his hands up my back until he hits my bra, and then undoes it and takes it off of me. He runs his hands over my shoulders, down to my breasts and massages them, pinching the nipples. I gasp, loudly enough that the camera picks it up, and Don says:  
“So, how long have you wanted to fuck me?”  
“I don’t want to fuck you.”  
“If you don’t want to fuck me, why are you on my lap, in my hotel room, wearing only your panties?”  
“I don’t know. I’m really drunk.”  
“I think it’s because you want to fuck me, just like I want to fuck you.”

He kisses me then, pulling me tight against his body and running his hands over my ass. I pull away from him and whimper:  
“I want to go home. Help me find my clothes?”  
“You don’t really want to go home, Veronica. Stay with me.”  
I try to pull away from him and say:  
“No…I want to go home. Please, Don.”  
“Veronica, I won’t hurt you. You don’t want to lose your virginity to some asshole teenager. I’ll make it good for you. I promise.”  
“I’m not ready to lose my virginity. I want that to happen with someone I’m in love with.”  
“That’s a child’s dream. You are going to lose your virginity one of two ways: to me, tonight or to some drunken teenager who doesn’t know how to please you.”  
“Don…I want to go home. Let me go. Please.”

Logan pauses the DVD again and says:  
“Ronnie, you’re crying. I don’t think we should keep watching.”  
“I need to know, Logan.”  
“Then at least let me go get Jax and Opie.”  
“I don’t want them to see this. I don’t even want you to, but I don’t want to be alone.”

Lyla walks in the room and says:  
“How about I watch with you then?”  
“Yeah. Thanks Lyla.”  
“Go away, Logan. I’ll be up to bed in a bit.”

He looks at me to confirm it’s okay that he leaves, or that he sleeps with Lyla, I’m not sure which, but I nod in response because I’m good with both. He stands up and Lyla sits down next to me and we curl up together. I press play and intertwine my fingers with Lyla’s while we watch. 

Don stands up, holding me up by my ass. He says:  
“Let me do one thing. If you still want to go home, I will take you.”  
“You promise?”  
“Yes. But you won’t want to go home.”  
“Fine. Do what you want.”  
He sets me down on the chair in front of the camera and pulls off my panties. He puts my legs on his shoulders and starts licking at me. I can hear myself gasping as my body reacts to what he’s doing. He shoves two fingers into me and I scream.

Lyla pauses and says:  
“That was a scream of pain.”  
“I was a virgin. He didn’t seem to be gentle.”  
“Are you sure you want to watch this? It’s gotta be traumatic.”  
“I need to know. Because I remember it as rape, but according to his journals he didn’t think of it that way.”

A hand reaches over the back of the couch and grabs the remote and turns off the video, ejecting the disk.  
“No. You are not doing this to yourself.”  
“Jax…”  
“No! You slit your fucking wrists 4 months ago. You are pregnant. You are not going to watch a fucking video of your rape and try to get in the head of your goddamn rapist!”  
“I don’t remember what happened, Jax.”  
“Maybe it’s fucking better that way. I heard that scream baby. He was hurting you. You don’t need to remember all the details of your rape. Just focus on the good that came out of it. That beautiful little boy upstairs. Don’t subject yourself to this. Remember this Don.”  
He picks up the picture of us at Christmas. Then he points at the DVD and says:  
“Not that Don.”  
“Jax.”  
“No! You said that Lilly told you Abel was going to be Don’s clone. You want to, need to remember the good things about him so you don’t resent Abel when he’s older. Please don’t watch this, baby.”  
“Fine.”  
“Let’s go to bed. Enough of the past for tonight.”  
“Yeah, okay.”

Lyla and I both stand up and follow Jax upstairs. Lyla walks into Logan’s room and closes the door behind her as Jax and I walk into our room. I close and lock the door, then say:  
“I need a shower. I’ll be right back.”

I walk into the bathroom and close and lock that door before stripping out of my clothes and stepping into the shower. I turn the water to hot and quickly wash my hair before I scrub my skin until it’s all red, trying to get the feeling of Don’s hands off of me. I turn off the water and step out of the shower, quickly drying off before brushing my teeth and putting my pyjamas on.

I walk out of the bathroom and Jax says:  
“You didn’t want us to join you?”  
“No. I don’t…I’m sorry, but I’m not…I don’t want to have sex.”  
“That’s okay baby. We could have just come in and washed your hair and your back.”  
“Yeah, no. That doesn’t happen. Ever. Every time either of you or both of you end up in the shower with me, we end up having sex.”  
“We wouldn’t force you, Veronica.”  
“I never said you would. I said it happens, every time.”

I walk over to the bed where they are both sitting and put my hands on their cheeks.  
“I’m so happy you are both back, I know this isn’t the homecoming you wanted. I just can’t tonight. I’m going to go sleep on the couch.”  
“Veronica, no. Don’t leave.”  
“I just can’t handle being touched. Today’s been a lot. I’ll be better tomorrow. I promise. Go to sleep. Please don’t argue with me about this.”

Jax looks like he wants to argue, but Opie stops him and says:  
“Okay, baby, but we’re here if you change your mind.”

I leave the room, closing the door behind me. I walk down to the living room, put all of Don’s things back in the box, and carry the box into the office. I grab a pillow and blanket from the hall closet and get settled on the couch. I fall asleep quickly, and wake up a short while later in someone’s arms.  
“Shh…Ronnie, go back to sleep. I’m just putting you in my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”  
“Thanks, Dick.”  
He lays me down in his bed and covers me with the blankets. He brushes my hair out of my face and kisses me before leaving the room.


	12. Day 121

In the morning I wake up to loud noises coming from the main floor of the house. I hear Jax calling for me, then Dick saying:  
“What’s wrong? Ronnie is sleeping.”  
Opie says:  
“Where? She told us she was going to sleep on the couch.”  
“Yeah…She slept in my bed.”  
I roll my eyes as I walk up the stairs. Opie has his hand on Dick’s throat when I get in the living room and I say:  
“Don’t kill him. He gave up his bed for your pregnant old lady last night. He slept on the couch.”  
“Oh. Sorry, Dick.”  
Opie lets go of him and Dick walks towards me mumbling about good deeds. I grab his wrist and whisper:  
“I was awake for that kiss last night Dick. Not fucking cool.”  
“Sorry.”

I turn to go upstairs and Opie says:  
“Where are you going?”  
“To get ready for the day. Abuelita and Eli will be here soon. I have to help Eli with his Calculus, so I need to be dressed before he gets here.”

I walk up the stairs and into the bedroom. I find clothes for the day and go into the bathroom to shower. I’m rinsing my hair after washing it when two sets of hands start touching me, turning me around to face them. I open my eyes and look at them.  
“Yes? I have to get ready.”  
“We just wanted to prove that we can be in the shower with you without having sex.”  
“Oh. Okay then. Have fun with that.”

I move to walk past them and they both grab me and say:  
“Where are you going?”  
“I’m done in here. I need to get dressed, do my make-up, and do my hair. I love you both, but I don’t have time for this right now. I am a senior in high school who has three kids and a household of people to think about. I have a schedule, a routine. If I didn’t, I’d go crazy. If I want to get into Stanford, I need to maintain my GPA. I can’t do that with the two of you distracting me. So as much as I want to fuck you right now, it’ll just have to wait until after school. Entertain yourselves.”

I stand on my toes and kiss Opie, channeling all my desire for him into it. When we pull apart I do the same with Jax.  
“I love you. Both of you. So much. Leo’s taking the kids this afternoon, so we’ll get some quiet time. I’ll send Abuelita, Eli, and Felix home early. And tell the boys to go surfing.”

I walk past them and dry myself off before walking into the bedroom and getting dressed. I walk back into the bathroom and do my hair and make-up before blowing a kiss to them and walking back out of the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

I open my jewelry box and put on the necklace from Lilly and my engagement ring before walking downstairs. When I get to the main floor, Eli and Abuelita are walking in the front door. Abuelita kisses me on the cheek and says:  
“What are those men doing today?”  
“I don’t know Abuelita. I’m hoping they’ll hang out with the kids so you don’t have to, but Leo is coming to pick the kids up at 2:00. You may have to get them ready to go if the guys forget.”  
“Just the kids? Don’t you normally go with Leo?”  
“Yeah, but he just wanted to take the kids this time. I don’t know why. Once he’s taken them, you can go home for the day and take tomorrow off, we’re headed to Charming for the weekend.”  
“Okay, sweetheart.”

As Abuelita walks away Eli wraps his arm around my waist and whispers:  
“This is a great outfit.”  
“It’s jeans and a sweater, Eli. Jesus. Let go of me. Let’s go see if there’s any hope of you passing Calc.”

We sit at the kitchen island and I look over his Calculus homework.  
“No. No chance of passing. How do you still not understand this? Mac and I have been tutoring you since June.”  
“It’s not my fault I can’t concentrate when the two of you try to teach me. You wear these low cut tops and then lean over. It’s very distracting.”  
“Eli…You’ve seen me naked. You’ve literally been inside of me. You would think that me leaning over while wearing a normal shirt would not be so fucking distracting.”  
“Yeah, no. You’d be wrong.”  
“Fuck it. I’m calling Cassidy.”  
“No. Don’t make me get tutored by Cassidy. He doesn’t explain things well.”  
“Maybe Mac and I don’t either. How would you know? You’re too busy staring at our boobs. I will find someone to tutor you. Someone without boobs.”  
“Please, V. I have to pass Calc. I won’t graduate without it.”  
“We’ll make sure you pass, Eli.”

Just then Ellie runs in the room yelling:  
“Mama! Aunty La is in Uncle Logan’s room!”  
“Yes, Ellie. I know. What have I told you about going in Uncle Logan’s room first thing in the morning?”  
“Not to.”  
“So why did you?”  
“I forgot.”  
“Well, don’t in the future. Okay?”  
“Okay.”  
“What were Uncle Logan and Aunty La doing?”  
“Sleeping. Uncle Logan wouldn’t wake up.”  
“Okay. I’ll go wake him up. You stay with Uncle Eli.”

I grab two cups of coffee from Abuelita and head upstairs. I open Logan’s door without knocking and put the coffees on the bed side table.  
“Hey sleepyhead…We have school today. You need to get up. I brought you coffee…”  
“Go ‘way Ronnie.”  
“Nope. Get your ass out of bed.”

Logan pulls the blanket over his head and Lyla sits up.  
“Is there coffee for me?”  
“Of course.”  
I hand her a coffee and then pull the blanket off of Logan.  
“Hey…I’m naked!”  
“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before Lo. Drink your coffee, get out of bed. We’re leaving in 20 minutes.”  
“I hate you.”  
“No you don’t.”

I walk out of the room, closing the door behind me. I check on the boys and see that they are still sleeping, so I leave the door open and head back downstairs. When I get to the kitchen, Abuelita hands me a bowl of oatmeal with fruit on top. I kiss her cheek and say:  
“Thank you Abuelita.”

I take my oatmeal over to the couch and put it on the coffee table before grabbing a photo album from the box of Don’s stuff. I sit down on the couch and eat my oatmeal while looking at pictures. This one seems to be a mixed bag. The first half of the album seems to be pictures of Don and his brother Dan when they were little. Looking at Don is like looking at Abel. I understand why Lilly says he’s going to be his father’s clone. The pictures of them stop when Don is about 11 or 12, then there’s a blank page. After the blank page, the album is filled with pictures of me. At soccer practice, with Eli, with Lilly, with Don.   
“Eli.”

He walks over and sits next to me, looking at the pictures.  
“We were so little.”  
I laugh and point at one of us, we’re standing on the playground at the park and I was probably 9, so Eli was most likely 10.  
“Look at you…Trying to be a badass.”  
“Excuse me, V? Trying?”  
“You were way too adorable to be a badass. Sorry, Eli.”

We flip through the rest of the album and then Eli looks at the first half.  
“Don when he was little?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Jesus, Abel looks just like him.”  
“Yeah…He does.”  
“Are there more albums?”  
“Yeah…In that box.”

Eli gets up and takes the album back to the box. He pulls the framed pictures out and looks at them.   
“Jesus…He was always touching you.”  
“Yeah. He was.”  
“Why do you have this stuff?”  
“Keith brought it over last night. Thought I might want it for Abel when he’s older.”  
“Yeah…Pictures of your rapist. Why not?”  
“Eli. Don was a huge part of my life starting when I was nine. And aside from that one night, every memory I have of him is a good one. Every touch prior to his hotel room that night was loving. That’s why I trusted him that night. That’s why I believed that he wouldn’t hurt me. Because he showed up…Everytime Keith had to work late, and Lianne was drunk, Don was there for me. That picture at the fair that you’re holding? That was my 11th birthday. Keith had to work. Lianne promised that she’d take me to the fair. But she started drinking at noon and by five she was plastered and passed out on the couch. I called Don because I knew he had the day off. He cancelled a date to take me to the fair so I wouldn’t be alone on my birthday. So yeah, I have one shitty night that I’m stuck partially remembering forever…But along with that I have a lifetime’s worth of good memories. Times when he made me feel safe and loved when my parents didn’t.”

Eli looks like he wants to say something, but I continue:  
“Eli…I have a little boy who is going to look exactly like the man in those pictures one day. I owe it to him to remember that his father was once a decent man who loved me and took care of me. He wasn’t just a monster who forced himself on a drunk teenage girl who was begging to go home.”

Jax and Opie walk in then and Opie says:  
“Pictures?”  
Eli walks over and hands the framed pictures to Opie and the album to Jax.

Opie looks at the Christmas picture and says:  
“You were freaking adorable, babe.”  
“Excuse me? I’m still adorable.”  
“No…You’re smoking hot. There’s a difference.”  
Lyla walks up behind Opie and grabs the pictures out of his hand.  
“Wow. He loved you. Are we sure this guy is the same as the asshole in the video?”  
“Yeah. His brother looks nothing like him, otherwise I’d suspect Dan since he’s the biggest asshole I’ve ever met.”

Eli says:  
“What video?”  
“You’re not watching it, so it doesn’t matter.”  
“Did he film the night he raped you?! Are you fucking kidding me?!”  
“Breathe, Eli. We don’t even know if the whole thing is on the video.”  
“You watched it?”  
“Started to. And before you say anything, yes, I’m going to go see Miss. James today.”

I stand up and walk over to the box and pull out the DVD and look at it.  
“There’s another disc in this case. It’s a CD.”  
I put it in the CD player and press play. Don’s voice comes over the speakers, and I can tell he’s crying:  
“Veronica…I am so sorry. I was just at your apartment and felt how you froze up when I kissed you. I thought I was remembering our night in Seattle properly, but I just watched the video and I realize that I hurt you…I raped you. Please know, that was never my intention. I honestly sat outside of Lianne’s apartment because I was worried about you. I wanted to protect you. I don’t know how I got from that to what happened in that hotel room, but I’m so sorry baby. Your whole life, all I’ve wanted is to love you and protect you. The fact that I’m now the monster breaks my heart. I saw Jax riding into town, so I suspect that I won’t ever get to say this to you in person…I’m just hoping that after the new Sheriff clears my apartment, he’ll give you the photo albums and these discs…Don’t watch the video sweetheart. I hurt you. You screamed and cried, and if you don’t remember what happened, you don’t want to. Please…just remember that aside from that night…I have always loved you. I’m sorry that I took your virginity that way. I’m sorry I got you pregnant. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you and our son. Don’t look so surprised. I kept tabs on you. I knew you were pregnant, and I knew it wasn’t Jax’s. Please tell our son about me…Maybe just leave out how he was conceived…I don’t blame you for letting Jax kill me. I love you.”

By the end of Don’s apology I’m sobbing and Jax and Opie both have their arms around me. I take a few deep breaths and say:  
“I’m okay. I have to go to school. You can let go.”  
“Babe…”  
“Jax. I’m fine.”

He slowly releases me and I turn into Opie’s chest and breathe deep until I’m completely calm, then I straighten up and kiss him before letting him go. When I turn around to face Jax he looks sad. I wrap my arms around his waist and whisper:  
“Don’t be sad, Jax.”  
“You needed more comfort and you went to him.”  
“You know I love you. He’s just always been that calming, safe place for me. That doesn’t mean I love him more babe. It just means that sometimes I need an extra hug from him…Come with me.”

I let go of his waist and take his hand, leading him out of the very full kitchen and into the office, closing the door behind us.   
“I love you, Jax. Please don’t doubt that.”  
“I know you do, just…It’s hard seeing you reach for him when all I want to do is comfort you.”  
“I don’t know what to do about that babe. How can I make this better for you?”  
“I don’t know. I’m just being ridiculous.”  
“Don’t do that. Don’t invalidate your feelings. I love you. I don’t want any of this to be difficult for you. I am yours.”  
“And his.”  
“Yeah. Because we agreed that this is what *we* wanted.”  
“Did you have sex with him yesterday when he got back?”  
“Yes. But that was before you got here, before seeing Ima’s video, before Keith showed up, and before I watched that goddamn video.”  
“I know. I understand why you didn’t want to be touched last night, I just…I miss you.”  
“I have an idea…How about we leave Opie with the kids today and you and I go for a ride? I don’t have any tests or anything today. Dick and Logan can get my homework.”  
“I have a better idea. You go to school, Ope and I will hang out with the kids until Leo takes them. After school the three of us will go for a ride. I think we need some time together.”  
“That is a good idea. I love you.”

I lean into him and kiss him. I then whisper in his ear:  
“If I didn’t have to leave for school right now, your cock would already be inside me. I want you so badly. I’ve wanted you for four months. The vibrator just doesn’t do it for me anymore. So you’d better bring your ‘A’ game this afternoon, because I expect you to make up for all those orgasms I missed while you were gone.”  
“I can be fast, I’ll fuck you right now, against this wall. Make you scream for me.”

There’s a knock on the office door and Logan says:  
“Ronnie, we’re going to be late and you have your appointment with Miss. James this morning.”

I kiss Jax and say:  
“Gotta go babe. Hold all thoughts of ravishing me until this afternoon. I promise to scream for you.”  
“That was cruel babe.”  
“I’m sure if you ask Ope real nice he’ll help you out with that.”

I walk out of the office and close the door behind me. I hug and kiss the kids and kiss Opie before I whisper in his ear the same thing I whispered to Jax, eliciting the same reaction.   
“Cruel babe.”  
“That’s what Jax said too. Leo will be here at 2:00 to get the kids. See you later.”

I walk out the door with Logan, Dick, Eli, and Lyla and close the door behind me.

As the guys get in the car, I hug Lyla and say:  
“We’ll be in Charming tomorrow afternoon. Maybe we can get together without the guys on Saturday after my meeting with the architect?”  
“Sounds good. Maybe lunch with Luann?”  
“Good idea. I’ll message you when I know what my schedule is. Remember to act shocked and upset when you find out about Ima okay?”

My phone rings before she walks away and I answer it:  
“Hi Sheriff.”  
“Veronica. Where is Lyla?”  
“Standing in front of me. Why?”  
“Was she working a party at Aaron’s last night?”  
“She was supposed to be. I wouldn’t let her go. She was here all night.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Well, she was with me on the couch and then was in bed with Logan. I’m pretty sure he would have noticed if she was gone.”  
“One of the girls working the party last night was murdered. The same way Lilly was.”  
“Who? A bunch of the Caracara girls were there. I probably know her.”  
“Ima. No-one had a last name for her.”  
“I know her. She works with Lyla a lot. They both specialize in girl-on-girl. Full disclosure, she had sex with Jax a few times last year and the day of the commitment ceremony for Opie and me, I may have slammed her face into the ground and broke her nose and cheekbone.”  
“You haven’t seen her since that though?”  
“No.”  
“Has Jax?”  
“She was at a party at the clubhouse a few days after Meg and I went to Peru. She waited for Jax to pass out and climbed into bed with him. That’s the last time he saw her.”  
“Can you tell Lyla to come to the station?”  
“She wasn’t there, and she needs to get home to her son.”  
“Okay. Can you get her to go into the station in Charming tomorrow and give her statement about Ima to Leo?”  
“Yeah. We can do that.”  
“Thank you.”

I hang up and say:  
“You need to go into Charming PD tomorrow and give a statement to Leo about Ima. The last time you saw her and such. I’ll go with you when I get to town if you want.”  
“Do I show him the video?”  
“Yeah. It’s Leo. We can trust him. I’ll call him on the way to school. Give him a heads up.”  
“Okay. I’ll wait for you tomorrow. Go to school.”  
“Yeah, yeah. Love you La.”  
“Love you V.”

She leans in and kisses me, soft and gentle, like her kisses always are, and then she walks away. I get in the car and all the guys turn to look at me. I roll my eyes and say:  
“What assholes?”  
“Dabbling in girl-on-girl?”  
“For months. Shut it.”

I pull out my phone and dial Leo’s number.  
“Hey, baby.”  
“Hey, Leo. I need to give you a head’s up. Keith told Lyla to come to you tomorrow to make a statement about Ima…Last time she saw her and such. Ima was killed last night at the Echolls mansion.”  
“Okay. If you’re calling it’s not just because you want me to be nice to Lyla…Because you know I will be.”  
“Down boy. She’s fucking Logan.”  
“That’s unfortunate. Does that mean your girl-on-girl days are over?”  
“They were always temporary. I need a better lock on my damn bedroom door.”  
“So? Ima? She’s the chick Jax fucked right?”  
“That’s the thing…he didn’t. He got drunk, passed out in the apartment at the clubhouse. Bitch followed him in, showered using my products and climbed into bed with him smelling like me. She admits nothing happened. Lyla has a video of Ima admitting everything that she did, and everything that Jax didn’t do.”  
“Did Jax kill her?”  
“Nope. Not the club. It was me.”  
“You ordered the hit? Jesus, Veronica.”  
“So it’s your call. You don’t have to protect me. It’s your job to protect the club, and me if it affects the club. This doesn’t. None of this touched the club. I called CW. He took her out.”  
“You need to spend less time with Gemma.”  
“That bitch lied and tore my family apart Leo! I almost died! There was no way she wasn’t dying for that. Just be happy I called CW and didn’t do it my damn self.”  
“One of these days you are going to be the death of me. This isn’t even a question. Of course I’m going to protect you.”  
“Thank you Leo.”  
“Always. I’m still good to pick the kids up this afternoon, right?”  
“Yeah. Between Abuelita, Jax, and Opie the kids should be ready to go.”  
“Mostly Abuelita.”  
“Obviously. Those idiots are useless. They’ll spend all day playing with the kids and forget that you’re coming.”  
“I love you Veronica.”  
“Yeah. I love you too.”

I hang up and put my phone in my bag. Logan looks at me and says:  
“Leo has a thing for Lyla?”  
I shrug.  
“She’s tiny and blonde. He has a type.”  
“Does it bother you?”  
“That a guy I’m not sleeping with wants to have sex with a girl I’m not sleeping with? Why would that bother me?”  
“He’s in love with you, and she’s your friend.”  
“Honey. It doesn’t bother me that she’s fucked Opie, why would it bother me that Leo wants to fuck her?”  
“She’s fucked Opie? And you’re fine with that?”  
“We weren’t together. I’m not the old lady he cheated on.”  
“Why Lyla?”  
“Wanted me but Kozik banned him from Tacoma. Lyla’s tiny and blonde and didn’t care that he wanted to pretend she was someone else.”  
“Why did Kozik ban him from Tacoma?”  
“Because he thought if Lee saw me with Opie that he’d kill me. He was already escalating in his violence. Kozik thought sending Opie away was protecting me.”  
“But Opie could have done something about Lee.”  
“If he had known what was going on he would have killed Lee. He would have been excommunicated from the club and lost his whole family in the process. That wasn’t an option.”

We pull into the school lot and Dick parks the car. We all get out and Eli wraps his arm around my shoulders and walks me into the school, stopping in front of Miss. James’ office. He kisses my cheek and says:  
“Have a good session.”  
“Thanks. I’ll see you later.”

Six hours later we’re leaving the school and heading for home. When we get there, Abuelita is waiting for Eli so they can go home. I hug her and say:  
“How did today go Abuelita?”  
“They are very good fathers, Veronica. It’s clear how much they love the kids and each other. I got all my cleaning done early and then got to sit down and watch a movie with the babies.”  
“While you were watching the movie with the kids what were Jax and Opie doing?”  
“I assume they were looking through pictures. They took that box from the living room upstairs. They were in your room with the door closed.”  
“And Leo got here and picked up the kids no problem?”  
“As always. He’s very reliable, that Leo.”  
“Thanks Abuelita. Have a nice weekend.”  
“You too my darling.”  
I hug and kiss Eli and tell him to study this weekend, and to call Cassidy if he needs help.

I look at Dick and Logan and say:  
“You guys going to make yourselves scarce?”  
“Yes dear.”  
“Thank you.”

I walk into the house and realize that the guys aren’t on the main floor, so I go upstairs. I walk into my bedroom and find Jax and Opie curled together on the bed, crying.  
“Why did you watch it my loves?”  
“We needed to know.”  
“No, you didn’t. The only person in this room who needs to know what happened that night is me. I did not want you to watch it. Not because it would upset you, but because I didn’t want you to look at me differently…Yeah, Ope. Like that.”

I walk over to the dresser and pull out workout clothes, then walk into the bathroom to change. When I walk back into the bedroom I say:  
“I’m going for a run. While I’m gone, figure out how to deal with this without looking at me like that. If you can’t, go to Charming, because I can’t deal with this.”

I walk out of the bedroom and out of the house. I take a short run, I only make it about a mile before I get tired and have to turn around for home, even then I end up walking half the way home, which is infuriating. I’m not sick this pregnancy, but I’m so tired all the time.

I walk into the house and it’s quiet, so I head upstairs to my room and walk in. The guys aren’t here. I grab a set of pyjamas from my dresser and walk into the bathroom to shower and change. I climb into bed and cry. I must fall asleep, because I wake up in someone’s arms. It’s not Opie or Jax, so I panic for a minute before I hear:  
“Shh…Sweetheart. Everything’s okay.”  
“Tig…They left.”  
“Clay called them in. They didn’t have a choice.”  
“You’re here.”  
“I told Clay to go fuck himself.”  
“And they couldn’t?”  
“No. It had to do with Aaron. They’re still in Neptune baby. They’ll be home soon.”

I roll over in his arms and press my face into his chest. He rubs my back and whispers:  
“Go back to sleep sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.”

I do go back to sleep, but I start dreaming about Lee and I wake up screaming and crying, alone in the bed. Opie and Jax come running in and wrap their arms around me. Opie says:  
“What was the dream about baby?”  
“I don’t want to talk about it.”  
“It’ll help.”  
“You don’t know that. Where did Tig go? He was here and he told me I could go back to sleep. That he wouldn’t leave.”

Tig walks in and says:  
“I didn’t. I just needed to talk to the boys.”  
“How did things go with Aaron?”

Jax answers after looking at Opie:  
“Everything went fine love.”  
“I saw the look. What went wrong?”  
“He beat the shit out of Juice.”  
“I told you he was violent. Where is Juice now?”  
“On the couch.”  
“Let me go.”

They both let go of me and I stand up and leave the room before going downstairs. I walk into the living room and look at Juice.  
“Shit. Juice.”  
“It looks worse than it is.”  
“Bullshit. Have they cleaned the wounds?”  
“No. We just got back when they heard you screaming.”  
“Okay. I’ll do it.”  
“Ronnie…”  
“I have lots of practice. My best friend is Logan, remember? I am very familiar with the kind of damage Aaron does.”  
“Yeah…I guess you are kind of an expert. Fine.”

I walk into the kitchen and grab the first aid kit from the cupboard, then walk over to Juice.   
“Sit up. Take off your shirt.”

He follows direction and then I carefully clean each of his wounds and bandage the ones that are really bad. One should have stitches so I say:  
“This one needs stitches babe.”  
“Do you know how to give stitches?”  
“Yeah. I had to stitch myself up a few times after Lee cut me. It’s gonna hurt baby.”  
“Just do it.”  
I grab the suture kit from the first aid kit and quickly stitch up the cut.  
“Jesus fuck. You weren’t kidding about it hurting.”  
“Put your shirt back on Juice.”

I stand up and say:  
“How well did you cover your tracks after this fiasco? Are the cops going to find his DNA all over Aaron?”

Jax says:  
“We burnt down the house with Aaron’s body inside.”  
“Great. The Sheriff will be here anytime then. You all need to leave. Now. No Son can be in Neptune when they find Aaron’s body.”

I look at Juice and say:  
“Juice, can you ride?”  
“No. I don’t think I can drive either.”  
“Okay. Jax, put Juice’s bike in the garage in front of the truck. He can stay here tonight and come to Charming with the kids and me in the morning. The rest of you need to go. Now.”

Jax and Opie both say:  
“We’re not leaving you.”  
“Yes. You are. Right now. Things did not go according to plan and we do not have a friendly cop here. This is why Aaron was not supposed to die in Neptune. You need to go.”  
“We are not leaving you.”  
“YES YOU ARE! The kids, Juice, and I will be leaving first thing in the morning. But I need you guys to go now. I love you. I cannot lose you to prison for a fucking murder charge. Please. Go now.”

Tig says:  
“The future queen is right, guys. We need to go.”

I kiss Tig on the cheek and say:  
“Thank you for agreeing with me.”  
“No problem sweetheart. I’ll move Juice’s bike. You talk to your old men.”

I look at Juice and say:  
“Go up to my room. As far was everyone not currently in this room is concerned, you aren’t here.”

As he and Tig leave the room I walk over to Opie and Jax and wrap my arms around their waists, pulling them both into me. They wrap their arms around me and each other, and I say:  
“I love you. Please go back to Charming so I’m not at risk of losing you. The kids and I will be there tomorrow around lunchtime.”  
“We didn’t mean to screw up the plan with Aaron. But Clay insisted we do it today, here. And then Aaron fought back.”  
“I know. Of course he fought back. Jesus.”

Opie presses his lips into the top of my head and whispers:  
“Promise you’re coming to Charming?”  
“I promise. I will be at the clubhouse with Juice and the kids at lunchtime tomorrow.”  
Jax says:  
“Will you be okay making the drive by yourself?”  
“Of course. I’ll be fine.”  
“Fine. We’ll leave with Tig. Please be safe on the roads babe.”  
“I will. Call me when you get home, okay?”  
“Yeah. Of course.

Opie says:  
“Where is Juice going to sleep tonight?”  
“Our room. He has to stay out of sight.”  
“Where are you going to sleep?”  
“Our room. Can’t very well sleep elsewhere without good reason.”  
“Veronica…”  
“Nothing is going to happen between Juice and I. He’s injured, and I’m kind of madly in love with these two really possessive guys who have no problem hurting people that piss them off.”  
“We love you, Veronica.”  
“I love you, both of you. More than anything or anyone in this world — except for our kids. Tomorrow night once the kids are asleep there had better be some serious ravaging though, because this is bullshit.”  
“Agreed.”  
“Go my loves.”

I kiss them both and say:  
“Drive carefully. Call me when you get home.”  
“Always.”

They each kiss me again and then let me go and walk out of the house. When I hear their motorcycles pull away I get out my phone and call Leo.  
“Hey babe. I kind of expected you to be busy while the kids were out of the house.”  
“Yeah, that was the plan, but things change. They had to go back to Charming. How long are you going to be out?”  
“Until bedtime, basically. I’ll bring them inside and go through their bedtime ritual too before I take off.”  
“You can sleep on the couch babe. Leave for Charming in the morning when the kids and I do.”  
“On the couch? I can’t sleep in your bed with you?”  
“You know the answer to that Leo.”  
“Couch it is. See you in a few hours.”

I hang up and go up to my room, closing the door behind me. Juice is lying on the bed and I say:  
“You’re on my side. Move over.”  
“Don’t you sleep in the middle?”  
“When my old men are in the bed? Yes. When they aren’t, I sleep right there. Move over.”

Juice moves over and I sit on the bed and turn on the tv and the dvd player.  
“There’s a video I need to watch because I need to know what happened. I’m going to cry. A lot. It’s going to be painful for both of us to watch, but I need you to not turn it off…Okay?”  
“Okay. Can I hold you?”  
“Yeah. That would probably be best.”

He wraps his arms around me and I press play. We watch in silence during the first part of the video, until screen-me screams. Then Juice says:  
“Jesus Christ. Losing your virginity to a teenager probably would have been less painful.”  
“You think? He wasn’t exactly gentle with me was he?”  
“No. For the record…I would have been.”  
“I know Juice.”  
I lean up towards him and kiss him softly, then go back to watching the video. We continue to watch in silence, tears streaming down both our faces as screen-me begs Don to stop, begs him to let me go home, tells him that he’s hurting me, cries, and screams in pain.

When the video is over we both just sit there, clinging to each other.  
“Veronica…”  
“No. Do not look at me with pity in your eyes. Please Juice. I can’t handle that. I’m still me.”  
“I’m sure you promised Jax and Opie that nothing would happen with me here, but can I please kiss you?”   
“Why?”  
“Because I feel the overwhelming urge to show you that you are loved.”  
“I know I’m loved. I can feel it in your arms. I’m okay, Juice.”  
“So no kissing then?”  
“I think that would be best.”

I hear the front door slam and Logan yell:  
“Ronnie! Where are you?”  
Before I can answer, my bedroom door flies open.  
“Logan. Breathe.”

Juice lets go of me and settles back on the bed as Logan flops down next to me, curling into me with his head on my chest. I wrap an arm around him and stroke his hair with my other hand.  
“Lo? What’s wrong?”  
“My house burned down. All of Mom’s things…Everything I didn’t bring with me. It’s all gone.”  
“Oh, Logan. I’m so sorry.”

He lifts his head and looks at me.  
“This was them, wasn’t it?”  
“Things went bad with Aaron because Clay pushed them to do it today. He wasn’t supposed to die in Neptune. He beat the shit out of Juice. The crime scene was messy. They thought burning down the house was the fastest way to solve it. I’m sorry Logan. They fucked up.”  
“Doesn’t CW have a cleaner on staff?”  
“Yeah. But they didn’t think to talk to me. I’m just an old lady. What the hell do I know?”  
“Ugh. Idiots. Sorry Juice.”  
“Logan…No-one can know that Juice is here, okay?”  
“Yeah…Okay. I’m going to go pick up dinner from Mama Leone’s. You want your body weight in lasagna?”  
“Always. Juice?”  
“Manicotti please.”

Logan moves to stand up and I pull him back to me.  
“Are you okay Logan?”  
“Losing Mom’s stuff hurts, but otherwise? Yeah. Don’t worry about me Ronnie.”  
He leans in and kisses me before getting up and leaving the room. 

About five minutes after Logan leaves, the front door slams again and I hear Eli yell:  
“V!”  
I yell back:  
“I’ll be right down!”  
Then I turn to Juice and say:  
“You are not here. You understand me? You lock the door and do not make a sound or come out until everyone is gone.”  
“Okay.”

I get up and leave the room, closing the door behind me. I walk downstairs and find Eli in the living room.  
“What?”  
“The Echolls house burned down.”  
“I know. Logan was just home. He told me.”  
“Where are Jax and Opie?”  
“They watched the video of my rape. When I got home from school I told them I was going for a run to give them time to get their emotions in check, and if they couldn’t look at me without the pity in their eyes they needed to just go back to Charming. When I got back from my run they were gone.”  
“How bad was it? I know you watched the video.”  
“Bad. It was bad.”  
“Do you need a hug?”  
“I need more than that, but I sent my old men away.”

He wraps his arms around my waist and says:  
“Well…I could help you out with that. I remember what you like.”  
“Eli. I am not going to cheat on Jax and Opie.”  
“It’s just comfort, V.”  
“It’s sex, Eli.”  
“Well…what if I just help you, and I stay fully dressed? Is that cheating?”  
“Yes.”  
“Would the guys think so?”  
“Yes. And they’ll probably kill you for just asking.”  
“Well, I’m here if you change your mind.”

I put my hands on his face and lean in before kissing him. He pulls me tight against his body and deepens the kiss before letting me go and saying:  
“Why don’t they consider kissing to be cheating? Not that I’m complaining.”  
“Probably because they grew up with Gemma, and like me, she kisses everyone.”  
“Well, thank goodness for Gemma.”

I laugh and say:  
“I think that may be the first time in history those words were uttered.”  
“Do you want me to stay?”  
“No. Logan just ran out to get dinner, and Dick will be home eventually. Leo will be back with the kids later too. I’ll be okay.”  
“Okay. Call me if you change your mind.”  
“Yeah. Goodnight Eli.”

He leans in and kisses me again, deep and lustful, before letting me go.   
“Goodnight Veronica.”

He turns around and leaves the house, closing the door behind him. I go back upstairs to check on Juice, unlocking the bedroom door with the key I keep on the top door frame. When I get in the room, he’s in the shower. His phone is lying on the bed and the screen is lit up, so I look at it and see text messages between him and Opie. Right after I went downstairs, Juice sent Opie a text that said:  
‘She watched the video. She won’t let me do more than hold her. She needs more comfort than that. Can I help her? Please.’

Opie responded with:  
‘You may kiss her and give her orgasms, but if your cock touches my old lady I swear to God I will cut it off.’

I put down Juice’s phone and pick mine up. There’s a text from Opie saying:  
‘Why did you watch the video? Don told you that you didn’t want to. Jax and I talked, and obviously it’s up to you, but if you want Juice to comfort you, he can. Just no actual sex with him…Please? If you’d rather, I’m sure Logan, Dick, or Leo would be happy to comfort you. We’re okay with you having sex with any of them. Leo would probably be the one we would prefer, since he doesn’t live with you.’

I send a response saying:  
‘I am not going to have sex with anyone, and aside from holding me, Juice is not touching me. I am fine.’

I put my phone down and go get the other three photo albums that I haven’t looked at yet out of Don’s box. I sit cross-legged on the bed and pull a photo album into my lap. This one is filled with pictures of Don and I at Christmas. As I progress through the album, I get older and Don gets more touchy. By the last Christmas before Lilly died, when I was fourteen, the pictures show me sitting on Don’s lap, his arms around me. A few of the pictures show me laughing and Don’s face pressed into the spot where my neck meets my shoulder, and a couple of them show him looking at me with this look of pure adoration on his face. 

I put that album down and grab another one. This one is filled with pictures from my birthdays over the years. It has the same progression as the Christmas album…As I get older, he gets more touchy. 

The last album is all pictures from that last summer with Lilly. I know these pictures…Lilly and Logan took most of them. How did he get these? There are pictures of Lilly and I sunbathing next to the pool at the Echolls house, and pictures of Logan sitting behind me with his arms around me in the movie room at his house. Pictures of me asleep in Logan’s bed, pictures of Dick holding me above the pool preparing to jump in. Pictures of Lilly and I walking in front of Logan on the boardwalk, both wearing short shorts and tight t-shirts. Pictures of Logan and I, asleep and wrapped around each other on Aaron’s boat. There are a couple of pictures of Don and I, clearly taken by Lilly or Lianne. In those ones, his hands are on me or his arms are wrapped around me. In one of them he has one hand on my lower back and the other is tangled in my hair and he’s kissing me. I don’t remember this. We’re clearly at a party, and he’s not in uniform. Lilly is standing just off to the side, so she didn’t take the picture…

I hear the front door slam and Logan yell:  
“Ronnie! Dinner!”  
I get up and run downstairs, grab Juice’s dinner and a bottle of water for him, and take it back upstairs for him. I grab the mystery photo album on my way out the door and head back downstairs. I kiss Logan on the cheek and say:  
“Thank you Logan.”  
“It’s just dinner Ronnie.”  
“I know. But you know how I feel about lasagna.”  
“It is the way to your heart.”  
“Obviously.”  
“What’s with the photo album?”  
“It was in that box from Don’s…but the majority of them are our pictures Lo. I don’t know how he got them..”  
“Let me see.”

We sit down and eat our dinner while Logan looks through the pictures.   
“These are some great memories, but seriously…Where did he get our pictures?”  
“Right?”  
“Unless he took them from Lilly’s room after she died.”  
“That seems sketchy…Even for him.”  
He keeps flipping through the pages until he gets to the picture of Don kissing me.  
“When was this?”  
“I have no fucking clue. I have no memory of him kissing me before the night he raped me.”  
“Who took the picture?”  
“I don’t know. Normally I would think Lilly, but she’s visible in the image.”  
“Where’s his journal?”  
“I haven’t read it, so wherever you left it?”  
“Okay. I’ll go get it. I’ll be right back.”

He leaves the room and comes back a minute later. He starts flipping through the pages and says:  
“So Lil’s in the picture, so we know it’s before she died. He’s not in uniform, so we know it’s not the party on your birthday…Here. August 8. It’s not a party. You and Lilly went to a nightclub?”  
“Yeah…We did. We wanted to test our new fake IDs. I don’t remember anything else from that night though. I definitely don’t remember seeing Don there.”  
“Lilly looks a little out of it. Let’s see what Don says.”

Logan looks at the journal and reads the entry, paraphrasing for me as he goes:  
“He was at the club with a date. Saw you and Lilly there. When he first saw you, you were dancing together. Grinding up against each other. His date took off when he couldn’t stop staring at you. Although, given what you were wearing, I don’t blame him for that…Jesus. It barely covers your ass.”  
“Lilly must have picked it out. It definitely wasn’t my style of clothing then.”  
“It is now. I remember your commitment ceremony. That dress was so short.”  
“Yeah. Things change. What else did Don say?”  
“He says after she took off he walked up to you. Both you and Lilly were out of it. Your eyes were unfocused, he said it was more than just being drunk. He thought someone drugged you. He saw a man watching the two of you too closely and taking pictures, so he kissed you so the guy would think you were taken. He goes into detail about how that kiss made him feel, apparently you kissed him back very enthusiastically.”  
“If I was drunk or drugged, I claim no responsibility. But Don was fucking hot, so meh.”  
“Apparently he had his sheriff’s car with him, so he took you both outside and locked you in the backseat, then went back into the club and flashed his badge at the guy with the camera. He informed the camera guy that you and Lilly were minors and the guy freaked. Gave Don the SD card. When Don went through the pictures he found that one of him kissing you and liked it enough to put it in the album.”  
“Then what?”  
“He took Lilly home, and then took you to his apartment with him. Apparently Keith was working and you told him Lianne was out. He didn’t want to leave you alone, so he made you change into one of his t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants and tucked you into his bed and then slept on the couch. He goes into detail about just how much he wanted to go into his room and wrap you up in his arms…He talks about exactly what he wanted to do to you. It’s quite graphic…Like so graphic I may actually need to go to the washroom for a few minutes.”  
“Like reading porn, huh?”  
“Yeah. Jesus fuck he wanted you. I mean, I understand the sentiment, but…fuck.”  
“You don’t still…?”  
“What? Want you? Of course I do.”  
“I’m pregnant.”  
“So? You might actually be the hottest pregnant woman I’ve ever seen.”  
“Lo…”  
“I know. We’re just best friends. You’re madly in love with two guys who would kill me without a second thought. But that doesn’t mean that you aren’t who I think about when I jerk off.”  
“Might I suggest thinking about Lyla instead?”  
“Meh. Getting the opportunity to fuck a porn star is all well and good, but all I could think about is how you were across the hall. The whole time I was fucking her I was thinking about you. About how you screamed Opie’s name from that back room at the commitment ceremony. How I want to hear you scream my name like that. I want to watch your face when you come, I want to feel how tight and wet your pussy is.”  
“Logan.”  
“I know. I’m sorry. I do try to keep it reined in. This goddamn journal is just bringing it all out.”  
“Well, stop reading it. I love you Lo, but I’m theirs. With every fibre of my being, I’m theirs.”  
“How does that work anyways?”  
“You want me to detail our sex life for you?”  
“Yes.”  
“Won’t that make things…harder for you?”  
“I’m perfectly capable of jerking off. Tell me.”  
“A lot of the time it’s just one on one. Because only one of them is home, or like when Opie and I were in the back room at the ceremony. I think I like those times best because I can focus all my love, need, desire on the one person and I don’t feel like I’m giving less than I’m getting.”  
“What did Opie do to make you scream that way?”  
“Exactly what I told him to.”  
“Which was?”  
“Choke me and fuck me hard against the wall.”  
“You like it rough?”  
“Yes.”  
“Did you always, or is that something you learned from Lee?”  
“Always. Jax is good at rough too. Although he does the really annoying with-holding orgasms thing, so…It’s a trade off.”  
“That’s cruel.”  
“He never does it for long, and he always lets me have multiple after he does it. Like the night of the ceremony after you all left. He gave me one orgasm, then wouldn’t let me come again until Opie was in the room. Kept licking at my clit, but never applying enough pressure to actually be useful. Once Opie got there though I came two more times.”  
“Describe how that night went with all three of you.”

I gesture at his crotch and say:  
“Logan…you’re going to get awfully uncomfortable if you don’t do something about that.”

He stands up and leans over before whispering in my ear:  
“Come up to my room with me. Lie in my bed next to me and tell me what they did to you while I jerk off.”  
“Logan…”  
“I won’t touch you, you won’t touch me. I just want to listen to you talk as I do it, and I really want to hear what they did to you. You can close your eyes if you don’t want to watch.”  
“Fine. But Logan…”  
“I know. It’s not happening again.”

His face is still next to my ear, so I turn slightly and kiss him before saying:  
“Let’s go.”

We go up to his room and close the door behind us. I lie down on his bed and watch as he takes his clothes off. When he lays down next to me I shift so my mouth is on his ear and whisper to him. I tell him all about how Jax ate me out before Opie came in the room, and all about how Jax kept eating me out while I stood over him taking my dress off, how Opie choked me and bit my neck, how I came all over Jax’s face. I described the red lace corset I was wearing when Jax pulled me down onto his cock and fucked me while I licked Opie’s cock before he started fucking my mouth. I described how Opie came in my mouth and I swallowed before kissing Jax as he came in my pussy. Then I told him how Opie picked me up off of Jax’s cock and ate me out while Jax’s come dripped out of me. 

The whole time I’m whispering I can hear him jerking off and moaning and I’m getting more and more worked up. Finally I say:  
“Fuck it.”  
And I stand up and take my pyjamas off. I climb back onto the bed and move his hand off his cock before I straddle him. I kiss him as I lower myself onto him, whimpering as he bottoms out.   
“Oh god…Veronica. Jesus. You feel so much better than I ever expected.”

I lean back so his cock hits my g-spot and I start moving, setting a fast pace.   
“Logan…”  
He starts gently rubbing my clit, so I reach down and press his fingers harder onto it.  
“Don’t be gentle with me, Lo.”  
He starts rubbing harder in small fast circles and reaches his other hand up to pinch my nipple. I come screaming his name and he sits up and pulls me close to him so he can kiss me. I run my nails down his back and he bites my neck before flipping us over so he’s on top. He holds his weight off of me and brings my legs up so they are over his shoulders before he starts rubbing my clit again.  
“Come for me again Veronica. Scream my name again.”

He starts rubbing faster and thrusting harder and I yell out when he hits just the right spot. He takes the hint and keeps hitting that spot. I come saying:  
“Oh my god…Logan.”  
He follows me over the edge with a moan. He puts my legs down and collapses next to me.  
“Holy crap Ronnie.”  
“Have you considered going pro, Logan?”  
“Seriously?”  
“What? You’re really fucking hot, your cock is beautiful and huge, and you’re really good at that. I know a producer who would literally cream her pants to have you on staff.”  
“Luann?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Lyla says she’s having money problems.”  
“She just needs an investor or two. I’m going to look at her books this weekend.”  
“You’re going to invest in porn?”  
“I’m going to invest in CaraCara. In Luann. I’m going to talk to Dick about it too.”

He leans over and kisses me, pulling my hand down to his cock.  
“Jesus, Logan. You’re hard again already?”  
“You’re naked, in my bed, with my come dripping out of you. This is basically my ultimate fantasy.”  
“Well…It was a one-time thing Lo. You’ll have to handle that yourself.”  
“I think this should still count as the one-time because you’re still in my bed.”  
“Oh, you think so, huh?”

He leans in and growls in my ear:  
“Let me fuck you again. Let’s go shower. I want to fuck you against the wall.”  
“As tempting as that sounds…I don’t think it’s a good idea Logan.”

I get off of the bed and put my pyjamas back on before leaning over to kiss him.  
“I love you but this will never happen again.”  
“I love you. And whatever you say Ronnie.”  
I kiss him again and then turn to walk away, but he pulls me back by my wrist.  
“Come back to bed, or just take off your shorts and I’ll fuck you up against the wall. I’ll be rough with you if that’s what you want.”  
“Logan, I had permission to obtain comfort from you, not to fuck you multiple times.”  
“They gave you permission to fuck me? When?”  
“When they found out I watched the video. Juice asked Opie for permission to comfort me. Opie said no, but messaged me and told me I could fuck you, Dick, or Leo. I wasn’t planning on fucking any of you, but listening to you jerk off really fucking turned me on.”  
“And here I thought you fucked me because you wanted to…Not because your keepers told you to.”  
“They didn’t tell me to. They told me I could if I needed to. They actually would have preferred if I had chosen Leo. Logan…I did this because I wanted to. Because I wanted you. Listening to you jerk off, hearing your moans…that’s what turned me on. I didn’t even think about them while you were inside of me.”  
“Promise?”  
“Logan. I love you. You are my best friend. I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t want you or if I thought it would hurt you.”  
“And if you weren’t with them?”  
“Baby, if I wasn’t with them I would never leave your bed.”

He moves towards me quickly and kisses me, it’s deep and full of passion, then he lets me go.  
“You’d better leave before Leo gets back with the kids.”  
“Yeah. We’re okay, right?”  
“Yeah. We’re okay.”

I turn around and leave the room, closing the door behind me. I walk across the hall to my room and walk in, closing the door. When I turn to face the bed, I see Juice staring at me.  
“You fucked Logan. I asked Opie for permission to comfort you and you fucked Logan.”  
“Yeah. I did. With Opie and Jax’s blessing.”

I pick up my phone and send Opie a text: ‘Things changed. I did need the comfort. Chose Logan. Dick would have never shut up about it, and Leo would want more than I can give him. I’m still yours. All it did was make me want you more.’ He replies right away: ‘We plan on fucking the memories of Logan out of your head tomorrow. Don’t worry. Gemma said she’d take the kids tomorrow night.’ I laugh and reply: ‘Thank god for Gemma. I love you both. So much. Now I need to go scrub Logan off of my skin.’

I put my phone down and walk into the bathroom, taking my pyjamas off as I go. I step into the shower and turn it to extremely hot. I clean my body and hair before I sink down to the floor, pull my knees up to my chest and cry. 

After I’ve been crying for a while I stand up and turn off the shower. I dry off, use the washroom, brush my teeth, and walk out to the bedroom to get new pyjamas. As I’m getting dressed, Juice says:  
“The kids are home. I heard Ellie.”  
“Thanks. Get some sleep Juice.”

I walk out of the room and close the door behind me. I check on the boys first and find them both asleep in their beds. I quietly sneak out of their room and close the door before moving across the hall to Ellie’s room. I open her door and look at her asleep in her bed. I quietly close the door and head downstairs. When I walk into the kitchen, Leo is cleaning up.  
“You don’t have to do that love. I will.”  
“I know. It’s fine. I’m almost done.”

I sit at the kitchen island and watch him clean up.  
“What’s wrong baby?”

I walk over to the CD player, make sure the disc from Don is still in it, and press play, turning it up loud enough for Leo to hear. Leo wraps his arms around me when it’s over and says:  
“Shit. He didn’t realize he had raped you.”  
“No. He remembered things as consensual. I watched the video Leo. He was so drunk. Like, drunk enough that he probably couldn’t have legally consented either.”  
“Why did you watch it?”  
“I needed to know. I didn’t want these partial memories anymore.”  
“And now that you know?”  
“It was awful. The fear and pain in my voice…The screaming and crying. Jesus. I’m never going to forget that…But he didn’t intend on raping me. He didn’t think he had. When he realized it he cried and apologized. I let Jax and Ope kill Abel’s dad…How do I live with that? How do I live with the fact that I let them kill the one person who was always there for me when my parents weren’t? The person that loved me and wanted to protect me? How do I look into Abel’s eyes…those beautiful blue eyes he got from Don and explain that he’s never going to know his biological father? That he’ll always have a gap in his family tree? That while the other kids will resemble their dads, he just…won’t?”  
“Breathe Veronica. Please don’t spiral on me baby. Everything will be okay. I promise. You will tell Abel all about Don. You have pictures of him, you have so many good memories of him. I have memories of him. We will make sure that Abel knows who he was, and we will teach him how to be all the good things Don was and none of the bad.”

I wrap my arms around his waist and press my face into his neck.  
“Can I sleep on the couch with you? Can you just hold me?”  
“Why can’t I sleep in your bed? Who is up there?”  
“Juice. Clay made them take out Aaron today, here in Neptune. Which wasn’t the plan. Aaron fought back. Juice is in rough shape. He couldn’t ride back to Charming with the guys, so he’s going to come with the kids and me tomorrow.”  
“You’ve slept in my arms enough over the past four months to know that I’m always happy to comfort you that way. I just don’t know if you’ll be comfortable on the couch babe.”  
“You’ll lie on the couch, I’ll lie on you. I’ll be perfectly comfortable. Do you want a pair of pyjama pants? I think you left some upstairs.”  
“The guys haven’t noticed that I have clothes in your dresser?”  
“I don’t think so. They haven’t said anything.”  
“I’d love some pyjama pants.”  
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”

I step out of his arms and walk upstairs to my room. I grab two pairs of pyjama pants out of the drawer and throw one at Juice who is awake and staring at me.   
“Put those on. You’ll be more comfortable.”  
“Neither of the guys have been here Veronica. Whose pyjama pants are these?”  
“Leo’s. He stays over sometimes after outings with the kids. He just holds me. Get changed and get some sleep. We’re leaving early in the morning.”

I pick up my phone and walk back out of the room. Before I can close the door, Juice says:  
“Are you coming to bed at some point?”  
“No.”  
“Where are you going to sleep? With Logan?”  
“No.”  
“With Ellie?”  
“No.”  
“Where are you going to sleep, Veronica?”  
“I don’t see how where I sleep in my own house is any of your concern, Juice.”

I close the door and walk downstairs. I hand Leo the pyjama pants and go sit outside in the yard for a few minutes, breathing in the ocean air. My phone rings and I look at the caller ID before answering:  
“Let me guess. Juice messaged you and told you I’m not sleeping in the bed with him and I won’t tell him where I’m sleeping.”  
“Yeah. That’s the gist of it. Are you sleeping in with Logan?”  
“No. I’m not. I’m sleeping on the couch with Leo.”  
“I’m not comfortable with that.”  
“Jax, my love…Over the past four months, Leo has held me while we slept about 20 times. He has never even tried to do anything but hold me. The couch with him is the best place for me tonight. I’m going to have nightmares, so I can’t sleep with the kids. Climbing into bed with Logan will send the wrong message right now, Dick has been overly touchy lately so I’d rather not sleep there, and I don’t trust Juice to keep his hands to himself. Leo will hold me and make me feel safe but he won’t try anything.”  
“Veronica…”  
“Jax. I am yours. That was made exceptionally clear earlier after having sex with Logan. I do not want anyone but you and Opie. But Leo is Leo. He is my protector, you need to trust him to protect me, my love.”  
“I wish we were with you. I wish I could be holding you right now.”  
“I wish that too. So much. I miss having your arms around me. Why did Clay do this today?”  
“Because of Ima. He thought Aaron killed her. It wasn’t until we got back that he told us that though…And then I had to tell him it was our future queen who did. He’s pissed by the way.”  
“I don’t care. Let him be. It had nothing to do with the club. And he is not my fucking keeper.”  
“That’s what I told him love. That it was a personal matter and someone on your payroll took care of it. Then I had to explain that your head of security is quite possibly the most terrifying person I’ve ever met. Now Clay wants to meet him.”  
“CW would hate Clay.”  
“Yes…Yes he would.”  
“Like…He might hate Clay enough to make you President sooner rather than later.”  
“Yeah. I had that thought too. Don’t say it out loud, okay, baby?”  
“Okay. I love you.”  
“I love you, my queen.”  
“It sounds so cheesy when you say it.”  
“And yet? I’m being completely sincere.”  
“Oh, I know. I need to sleep so we can get out of here first thing tomorrow. I love you so much. I love Opie so much.”  
“We love you. See you tomorrow baby.”

I hang up and stare out at the ocean while I cry for a few minutes until Leo walks out the door and pulls me out of the chair saying:  
“Come on, exhausted, emotional, pregnant lady. Let’s go to sleep.”  
“Yes please.”

We walk into the house and lock the door. Leo has already turned off all the lights, so I say:  
“Lie down. I’ll be right back.”  
“Where are you going?”  
“I’m pregnant, Leo. I need to pee.”  
“Fair enough.”

I use the washroom then walk back out to the living room and practically walk into Juice.  
“What’s up Juice?”  
“I’m going to sleep on the couch. You and Leo sleep upstairs.”  
“Are you sure? You’re hurt.”  
“You’re pregnant. Go sleep in your bed.”  
“Thanks Juice.”

I walk over to Leo and grab his hand and my phone and walk upstairs. We walk into the bedroom and close the door before climbing into bed. He lies down with his arm outstretched and I lie down with him, curled into him with my head on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around me and I drape mine over his waist. I tilt my head up and kiss him before shifting so my head is resting on his chest.  
“Goodnight Leo.”  
“Goodnight my love.”

I fall asleep quickly, feeling safe in his arms and being relaxed by the sound of his heartbeat. The feeling of relaxation and safety doesn’t carry over to my sleeping mind though. I wake up a little while later screaming and crying.   
“Shhh…Veronica. It’s okay. I have you baby. You’re safe. Breathe.”  
It takes him a few tries to get me calm enough that I can respond.  
“Leo…It hurt so much.”  
“Oh baby. Why did you watch that video?”  
“I needed to know.”  
“But now that you know it’s hurting you. What can I do?”  
“Hold me while I call Opie?”  
“Yeah…Of course. I’m not going anywhere.”

I reach over and grab my phone off the bedside table. I dial Opie’s number and wait for him to answer.  
“Baby? What’s wrong?”  
“I had a nightmare about Don. I just needed to hear your voice. Can you just talk to me? About anything.”  
“Aren’t you cuddling in our bed with Leo right now?”  
“Yes. And while he makes me feel safe, it’s not the same as you. It wasn’t just a scary or upsetting dream Ope. I felt it. I felt the pain. I felt myself tear.”  
“Oh my baby. What can I do? Wait. I left my hoodie there. It’s on the dresser in Ellie’s room.”

Leo nods and whispers:  
“I’ll get it.”

While Leo is gone, I whisper into the phone:  
“I miss you so much.”  
“Oh my love. I miss you. You really have no idea.”  
“Tell me how much you love me.”  
“Sweetheart, I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything. I need you more than oxygen. The greatest day of my life was the day you became my old lady.”  
“The ceremony day or the first day we were together?”  
“Both…It might be a tie.”  
“What’s your favourite memory of us?”  
“That first day…When you let me get in the shower with you. When I discovered how much you like getting your hair washed…The little moans you made almost killed me. Then you turned around and kissed me and told me to show you how much I loved you…Like that’s even possible.”  
“But you did. I saw it in your eyes. This overwhelming, all-encompassing love. That’s why I started to cry. I had never seen so much love directed at me at once. It was difficult for me to process.”  
“What’s yours, babe?”  
“You mean aside from the day Abel was born?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Walking up the aisle at the clubhouse, holding onto Jax and seeing you at the end. Seeing all that love pouring out at me. That moment will be my favourite for a while I think.”  
“Not what we did in the apartment after?”  
“Oh…That was good too. Don’t get me wrong. Both times were, but my favourite memories tend to be more actual things and less sex.”  
“Okay sappy girl.”  
“Babe. I am a girl.”  
“Oh, I am very, very aware of the fact that you are a girl.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you. Are you okay now?”  
“Yeah. Leo’s back with your hoodie, so I’m going to put it on and let Leo wrap me back up in his arms and hopefully the combination of how safe Leo makes me feel and how much your scent calms me will work to keep the nightmares at bay. I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you.”  
“Love you.”

I hang up and put my phone on the bedside table. I sit up and put the hoodie on.  
“Leo…You’re still good with holding me while I smell like Opie, right?”  
“Yeah baby. I mean, obviously, I prefer it when you smell like you, but I know his scent helps you. Lie down, I’ll wrap my arms around you.”

I lay back down and he curls around me. I go to sleep quickly and don’t remember waking up again before morning.


	13. Day 122

In the morning, the kids, Juice, and I leave for Charming with Leo following us in his car. Every time I stop to stretch or rest, he does too; helping me with the kids in the rest areas. We make it to Charming without incident and I head to TM and Leo heads to the station. 

Juice walks into the clubhouse ahead of me and the kids and holds the door open. We walk in and Ellie yells:  
“Dad!”  
As she runs across the room to Jax. He picks her up and kisses her cheek before he says:  
“Hi baby-girl. Where’s your Mama?”  
“Being slow with the boys.”

I laugh and raise my voice to say:  
“Listen here little girl. Be nice to your pregnant Mama. And guys? A little help here?”

Tig comes over, takes Abel from me, and kisses my forehead.  
“How tired are you sweetheart?”  
“Exhausted. Is there anyone staying in the apartment or can I take a nap?”  
“No-one’s in there. You’re good sweetheart.”  
“Thank goodness.”

As I walk across the room carrying a sleeping Kenny, Opie scoops us both up in his arms and kisses me.   
“Hi baby.”  
“Hi Ope. Put me down, okay? I’m not feeling great today.”  
He puts me down and takes Kenny out of my arms as he says:  
“What can I do?”  
“I just need a nap I think. I’m going to go lie down in the apartment for a while.”  
“I’ll get Gemma to take the kids now, we’ll go home.”  
“No. I have to go to the station with Lyla in a bit to give her statement about Ima. I’ll just rest until she gets here, and then when I’m done with that we can go home.”  
“I’m still going to get Gemma to take the kids. Jax has something he has to do for Clay this afternoon…Don’t look at me like that, we will fill you in at home later, I promise. I’ll come lie down with you.”  
“Okay. The kids’ stuff is in the large purple suitcase in the trunk of the car. The other bag is mine. Do not send the wrong one with Gemma, you want me to have the contents of my bag…I promise.”

I kiss him and then walk across the room to Jax. When I reach him he whispers to Ellie:  
“I’m going to put you down so I can kiss Mama, alright?”  
She rolls her eyes and says:  
“Fine.”

He looks at me and laughs as he says:  
“That right there? That’s 100% you. Donna never rolled her eyes and gave that much damn attitude.”  
“Yeah, well…You knew who I was when you decided to love me. It’s not my fault you’re a goddamn masochist.”

He puts Ellie down and says:  
“Go see Gramps baby.”  
“Okay Dad.”

He grabs me and pulls me to him, kissing me passionately.  
“Don’t make me wait until tonight. I want you.”  
“Ope says you have something to do for Clay this afternoon.”  
“Yeah, I’ll fill you in tonight. I don’t want you to worry.”  
“How long do you have until you have to go?”  
“Long enough. Let me love you.”  
I kiss him and whisper:  
“Yes please.”

He picks me up and carries me into the apartment, closing and locking the door behind us. He puts me down and I kiss him before saying:  
“Gentle and loving today, okay babe? I’m not feeling well.”  
“Is that the pregnancy, or fucking Logan?”  
“Logan I think. Make me forget, Jax…Please.”

He pulls my dress off and then takes off my bra and panties. He runs his hands down over my breasts and stomach. He has tears in his eyes as he says:  
“God you’re beautiful.”  
“Why the tears baby?”  
“We missed the first four months of your pregnancy. It shouldn’t have been Gemma with you at ultrasounds, it should have been me and Ope.”  
“But you’re here now. We’re together now.”  
“Yeah…We are. Baby…if something happens today…”  
“Don’t you dare say goodbye to me right now Jackson. Love me now and we’ll talk later.”  
“I just want you to know how much I love you. Marry me. Right now. Today.”  
“We don’t have a marriage licence.”  
“I picked one up yesterday.”  
“Then love me and afterwards we’ll call the priest.”  
“Bobby is able to do the ceremony.”  
“Well, that’s even better. The rings are in my purse. Yours might not fit, we never got it sized.”  
“We’ll make it work.”

I kiss him and say:  
“Now, Jackson…if you don’t fuck me soon I’m going to walk out into the clubhouse naked and take the first offer that comes along.”

He growls and pushes me onto the bed.  
“Like hell you will.”  
I watch him taking off his clothes while I lick my lips.   
“You’re staring Ronnie.”  
“I think you might be the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.”  
“Yeah? I guess our beauty combined is going to make one hell of a gorgeous kid when he’s done baking huh?”  
“One can hope. Please fuck me now…I need you.”  
He climbs onto the bed and holds himself above me. I stare into his beautiful blue eyes and put my hand on his cheek, running my thumb along his cheekbone. I run the fingers of the other hand through his hair, enjoying the feeling of it being longer.  
“Please, Jax…Please.”  
“Yeah, baby. Okay.”

He leans down and kisses me, full of passion and love. I wrap my legs around his waist and he slides into me. We find a slow, gentle rhythm, kissing the whole time. When I orgasm it’s with a whimper, right before he comes as he says:  
“God I missed you my baby. I love you so much.”  
“I missed you. I love you.”

After he pulls out he moves down my body and kisses my stomach. He murmurs:  
“I love the two of you too.”  
When he moves back up so he’s next to me, I roll over to face him and run my fingers through his hair.  
“I like it longer.”  
“I figured you’d be okay with it, considering how long Opie’s is.”  
“What are you doing this afternoon?”  
“We’re having some issues with the Mayans. It should be a simple run, but shit keeps hitting the fan when it comes to them.”  
“You’re worried or you wouldn’t want to get married right now.”  
“Baby, I live a dangerous life. I’m always worried that I’m not going to make it home or that I’m gonna end up inside. I worry about leaving you and the kids alone. I worry that I don’t have Opie watching my back anymore because we made the decision that we can’t go on runs together, just in case something happens so we don’t leave you alone.”  
“Oh, Jax…I knew the life you led when we got together babe. I don’t want you living your life worrying about everything, and you should have Opie watching your back. It would make me feel better.”  
“I won’t allow you to lose both of us again.”  
“Jax…”  
“No! This isn’t up for debate Veronica. I love you. You know that, but you are just an old lady. You don’t get a say in club matters.”  
“How about matters that affect my goddamn family? You and Opie are safer together than you are apart. And honestly? Either way I’m going to lose you both. If something happens to you, Opie’s going to lose his shit and be out for revenge, and vice-versa.”

I get out of bed and go into the bathroom. I clean myself up then walk back to the main room and get dressed. Jax slowly gets out of bed and gets dressed before grabbing me and saying:  
“Don’t be mad at me baby. Not right now. Not today. Please.”  
“I’m not mad, Jax. There’s just nothing for me to say. You and Ope made a decision without talking to me about it and now you just expect me to accept it. Well, I don’t, and I’ve made that clear. But you made it clear that it doesn’t matter what I think, so I will be a good old lady and focus on keeping our house, and raising our kids, and making sure I’m available for my old men to fuck. That’s what old ladies do, right?”

He laughs bitterly and says:  
“Yeah, you’re not mad at all.”  
“Just tell me what to do, Jax. Give me orders and I will follow them. What do you want from me? Because it isn’t to be me.”  
“Jesus Christ Veronica. Of course I want you to be you.”  
“No, you don’t! Because if you did, you would understand that you can’t make decisions that have the potential to destroy me without talking to me! Losing you again would destroy me! Last time I almost died, Jax. I cannot raise five kids on my own. I can barely take care of myself. I have no family aside from some teenage guys that only stick around because they want to fuck me, and my ex-boyfriend’s grandmother. The only man who I even consider a father went fucking nomad so he could be closer to me, but that means he’s in danger ALL OF THE TIME. He’s out there alone. I know that one day I’m going to get a call that tells me that he’s dead, and I don’t know how I’m going to handle that. I NEED you. I NEED Opie. The two of you are stronger and safer together. The fact that you would choose to be apart is so fucking stupid I can’t even describe it.”  
“Veronica…I don’t want to fight with you baby. I want to marry you. Right now. Please.”  
“Whatever you want, Jax. I’m just an old lady.”

I turn to leave and he grabs my shoulders and turns me around before slamming me into the wall behind me. I feel something metal bite into the back of my head and my eyes fill with tears.  
“Listen to me. There is a line between our family and the club. I have to make the best decisions for both. I know it upsets you to be left out of decisions, but I can’t run everything by you. Ope and I not going out together is what is best for our family and the club.”  
“Fine. Let me go.”

He lets me go and steps back. I step to the side and say:  
“Just give me a few minutes to calm down, then we can get married if you still want to.”  
“Okay.”  
He walks out of the apartment and into the clubhouse leaving the door open. As I stand there behind the door I start getting woozy, so I walk over to the bed and sit down on the edge — well, I try to. I end up on the floor and then everything goes black.

When I wake up I’m in a hospital bed with monitors attached to me and to my stomach. I look at the lines on the baby monitors and see that both of them show strong heartbeats. A doctor walks in, she’s about Jax’s age, with brown hair.   
“You’re awake, good. I’m Dr. Knowles. You can call me Tara though. You got a nasty hit to the head. What happened?”  
“My fiancé slammed me into a wall. I think a door hinge did the damage.”  
“Might I suggest not being engaged to him anymore? If your Dad hadn’t found you when he did it’s possible we would have lost you.”  
“My Dad found me?”  
“Yes.”  
“Where is he?”  
“In the hall with the rest of the Sons. Which one is your fiancé?”  
“Jax.”  
“Jax did this? Sorry. I grew up with Jax and Opie. Jax and I used to date. I never would have thought he was capable of hurting his pregnant fiancée.”  
“Yeah, well. I’ve found that everyone is capable of violence. Especially towards me. Is there a phone I can use?”  
“Your Dad has your bag. I’ll get it for you.”  
“Thanks.”

She leaves the room and comes back a minute later with my bag. I fish out my phone and call Leo.  
“Veronica? What’s wrong?”  
“Can you come to St. Thomas’s?”  
“Are the babies okay?”  
“Yeah, but I’m not. I got a blow to the head, and I just want someone here to comfort me that doesn’t wear leather or ride a fucking Harley.”  
“I’ll be right there.”  
I hang up and put my phone back in my bag. I look at the doctor and say:  
“Am I allowed visitors?”  
“Immediate family only. Unfortunately Kozik out there is not your legal or biological father.”  
“Yeah. It’s a long story. Can exceptions be made?”  
“Depends on who.”  
“Deputy Chief Leo D’Amato will be coming. Can an exception be made for him?”  
“Yes. Gemma did ask about bringing your kids. Is that something you want?”  
“No. They’re too little.”  
“How old are they?”  
“Ellie is 6, Kenny is 3 — almost 4, and Abel is 1.”  
“Yeah. Too young. How old are you?”  
“Eighteen. Ellie and Kenny are not my biological kids. They’re Opie and Donna’s. Donna died a few months ago, before Opie went to prison. He made me the kids’ legal guardian.”  
“But Abel is yours?”  
“Yes.”  
“And Jax’s?”  
“Legally. Not biologically. Abel’s biological father is dead.”  
“Oh. There’s a woman out there with the Sons…Blonde, skinny, basically perfect in every way…”  
“Lyla. Can you let her in?”  
“Is she an old lady?”  
“No. She’s my friend.”  
“Okay. I’ll go let her know you’re wanting to see her.”  
“Thanks…Tara?”  
“Yes?”   
“Can you tell the guys to leave? I don’t want to see any of them.”  
“I’ll let them know.”  
“Thanks.”

I close my eyes as she leaves the room, leaving the door open behind her. I hear her tell Lyla that she can come in, and then I hear her tell all the guys to leave. I hear Kozik say:  
“What do you mean, leave? My daughter is lying in a fucking hospital bed. I’m not going anywhere.”  
“Veronica doesn’t want to see any of you. She asked me to tell you to leave. Please don’t cause a scene, you will just stress her out and since she is pregnant and now has a head injury, it’s best that we keep her calm. Leave or I’ll call security.”

Opie says:  
“I’m not leaving, she’s my old lady.”  
“She does not want to see you. She doesn’t want to see anyone but Lyla and Deputy Chief D’Amato. She wants the rest of you to leave.”

The guys all yell at Tara but she stands her ground. I hear Leo show up and back her up, reassuring the guys that he will keep them updated on my condition.

I pull my phone out and I dial Jake’s number. When he answers with:  
“Veronica?”  
I start crying and I say:  
“Daddy…”  
“Oh baby. What’s wrong?”  
“I’m hurt. I’m in the hospital.”  
“Where? Which hospital?”  
“Charming. St. Thomas.”  
“I’m sending Clarence to you. He will stay with you until you are ready to come home.”  
“Okay.”  
“Who hurt you?”  
“Jax. But he didn’t mean to. He slammed me into a wall, which was a dick move, but my head hit a door hinge. That’s what caused the injury.”  
“It’s bad?”  
“I passed out. The doctor says if Kozik didn’t find me when he did there’s a possibility that I wouldn’t have made it.”  
“Jesus Christ.”  
“Where are the kids now?”  
“With Gemma.”  
“I don’t like that. Celeste and I will come get them.”  
“No. They are fine with their grandmother.”  
“Fine. Let me know if you change your mind.  
“Okay…Daddy?”  
“Yeah sweetheart?”  
“Thank you for answering the phone.”  
“Duncan told me that everything was his fault, and you banishing him was your way of protecting him.”  
“They would have hurt him.”  
“I know. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you sweetheart. I’m sorry I took his side.”

I start getting woozy again and everything starts getting black. I mumble:  
“It’s okay. I think I’m going to go to sleep now…”  
Everything goes completely black and I drop the phone. When I wake up Leo, Lyla, and Clarence are all in the room, and I can hear all the guys in the hallway yelling at security.

I look at Leo and say:  
“What happened?”  
“Your fucking heart stopped.”  
“I have a head injury. Why would that cause my heart to stop? Where is Dr. Knowles?”  
“She’s being yelled at again.”

I roll my eyes and then cry at the pain.  
“Clarence…Make them leave. Make them stop yelling at Tara. She’s just doing what I asked.”  
“Yes Miss Winston.”  
“Kane. My name is Kane.”  
He smiles and says:  
“Yes Miss Kane.”

He walks out of the room and I hear him through the open door:  
“Miss Kane appreciates you all caring about her health, but you being here yelling at the lovely doctor is keeping the doctor from treating Veronica. Miss Kane would like you all to leave.”

I hear Opie growl:  
“Her name is Winston.”  
“She has requested that I use Kane. Since she is my employer, I will follow her directions, not yours.”

There’s a pause and I assume Opie is glaring at Clarence, but Clarence continues:  
“Now, Miss Kane is pregnant, she has a head injury, and her heart just stopped for seemingly no reason. You all need to leave so the Doctor can figure out why. Leo will update you all, except Jax, when we know something.”

I hear Jax say:  
“Why not me?”  
“You are the reason Miss Kane is in the hospital. I have orders from Miss Kane’s father to leave you out of any updates and decisions.”  
“Her father isn’t even part of her life!”

Tara comes running in the room when the machine connected to me starts beeping loudly.  
“Veronica, I need you to calm down. Your blood pressure is spiking.”  
“I can’t. I don’t like hospitals. And I don’t like anything that is happening right now.”

I hear Opie in the hallway say:  
“Please, baby. Let me come in and hold you. It’ll help you stay calm. Please.”

I curl onto my side in the bed and say:  
“Let Jax and Opie in.”

Tara looks at me and whispers:  
“Are you sure sweetheart?”  
“Yes. Leo, Lyla, can you?”

Leo says:  
“Yeah. We’ll go.”

Opie and Jax walk in and Tara says:  
“She needs to stay calm. So any issues you have need to be discussed calmly. If her blood pressure spikes again I will make you leave.”  
“Yeah. Okay.”

Tara leaves and Opie says:  
“Kane instead of Winston?”  
“I was annoyed at you for refusing to leave and for yelling at poor Tara.”  
“You can’t really expect us to leave?”  
“There’s nothing you guys can do here, and Jax is supposed to be on a run right now.”

Jax says:  
“To hell with that. Ronnie, baby…I’m so sorry.”  
“I know love. I know you didn’t hurt me on purpose. Come here.”  
I reach out for him, and he takes my hand.   
“I love you.”  
He sits on the chair next to my bed and kisses my hand with tears streaming down his face.  
“I love you. So much. I never meant to hurt you. I would never hurt you on purpose.”  
“I know. We’re okay. Everything’s okay. You need to go deal with the Mayan issue though. I’m not going anywhere. Opie will keep you updated.”  
“Yeah…Okay.”

He stands up and leans over me before kissing me, deep and loving.   
“I’ll be back later my love.”  
“Okay. Be safe. Come back to me.”

He leaves the room and Opie sits in the chair he just moved out of.  
“What can I do babe?”  
“Convince the rest of the guys to leave? I’m so tired…”  
“You’ve been tired a lot this pregnancy. I talked to Mrs. Navarro, and she says that you’re not running as much as usual, and you sleep a lot, but you still look exhausted.”  
“Well, I am growing two humans. Being tired is kind of expected.”

Tara walks in then and says:  
“Opie, I need to talk to my patient. Can you give us a minute?”  
He starts to stand up, but I keep holding his hand. I look at Tara and say:  
“Can he stay? Please?”  
“If you want, sure. Your test results came back. The head injury is superficial, it didn’t cause you to pass out. The problem is your heart. The tissue around your heart is inflamed and it’s causing your heart to beat irregularly. The bump to the head may have caused you to change your breathing which in turn caused your heart to speed up, which caused you to pass out. We’re going to run some more tests to see what caused the initial issue, but for now, you need to stay calm.”  
“Would that explain why I’ve been really tired the past few months? And why when I go for a run I feel like I’m going to pass out after a mile when I used to be able to run four or five without issues?”  
“Yes. Have you noticed any change in your response to sex?”  
“Maybe? I figured the differences were just pregnancy or partner related.”  
“Explain.”  
“I’m good with slow, languid lovemaking…but when it’s more intense I get nauseous.”  
“That could be to do with your heart.”

Opie mumbles:  
“Or Logan.”  
“Shush. Go get rid of the guys.”  
“Most of them left with Jax. I think it’s just the Dads out there now.”  
“Okay. Give Dr. Knowles and me a minute alone, then let the Dads in so they can see I’m fine and they can go the fuck away.”  
“Okay baby.”

He leans over and kisses me before leaving the room. Tara looks at me and then sits in the chair Opie was just in.  
“Okay. I’m sorry. I have been trying to be professional and not ask the question I want to ask…”  
“Go ahead.”  
“You’re engaged to Jax.”  
“Yes.”  
“But Opie referred to you as his old lady, and your last name is Winston.”  
“I am his old lady. I legally changed my name when I became Ellie and Kenny’s legal guardian.”  
“How are you engaged to Jax and also Opie’s old lady? They are both exceptionally jealous and possessive people.”  
“Yeah…I’m constantly astounded it works. I was with Jax first. He knew how I felt about Opie, how Opie felt about me. He told me it was okay to sleep with Opie. Thought it was just going to be a one-time thing, but when Jax got home the next morning, Opie and I were still in bed together…Jax just stripped and climbed in. We invited Opie to move in with us, and it just kind of went from there. We haven’t gotten to spend much time together actually. Donna died, so Opie and I had to go get the kids…and then he was going to prison, so we had a ceremony for me to officially be his old lady. Then he was gone, and my sister and I took the three kids to Peru with my best friends. While we were there I found out that Jax cheated…but it turns out he didn’t actually cheat. So for the past four months, Opie’s been in prison, I’ve been in Neptune raising the kids, and Jax has been here. We just found our way back to each other, and now, here I am…In the hospital.”  
“When did you slit your wrists?”  
“In Peru. Why?”  
“You had surgery in Peru?”  
“Yeah, in this shitty little one room hospital in some shitty little surf village.”  
“Shit. I know what it is. I’m going to get someone to come draw blood to confirm, but we’re going to get you started on treatment now.”  
“What is it?”  
“A parasite. You picked up a parasite in Peru. It’s affecting the tissue around your heart.”  
“And the treatment will fix it?”  
“The treatment will get rid of the parasite. After that, your tissue and heart will take a while to heal, but with bed rest until the end of your pregnancy you should be fine.”  
“I’m only 4.5 months along! You want me on bed rest for my entire senior year of high school?”  
“Unfortunately.”  
“If I don’t follow your orders, will I lose the babies?”  
“It’s a possibility. It’s also a possibility that you will die. I need you to follow my orders and stay on bed rest. We’ll run tests periodically, and if you show great improvement we can discuss doing modified bed rest instead. So, for the record, bed rest means in bed or on the couch 24 hours a day aside from using the washroom or showering. You are not to cook, you are not to clean, you are not to take care of the kids.”  
“I have household help.”  
“I’m sure you do. I heard that scary man drop the name Kane. Your father is Jake Kane?”  
“Yes. And the scary man is Clarence…He’s a teddy bear once you get to know him.”

Clarence walks in the room then, followed by Jake.  
“Only with you sweetheart. Only with you.”  
“Uh-huh. Sure, CW. Whatever you say.”

Tara says:  
“I’ll send someone in to start the IV and take some blood, okay?”  
“Thanks. Can you tell Opie I do still want to talk to the Dads, but I should probably talk to this one first?”  
“Yup.”  
She leaves the room and Jake sits where she had been sitting.  
“Hi Daddy.”  
“Oh, sweetheart…”  
“This isn’t Jax’s fault. I don’t want you blaming him. Apparently the head wound is just superficial and didn’t cause me to pass out. I have a parasite that’s affecting the tissue around my heart, causing it to not beat properly. When I get agitated and my heart rate speeds up, sometimes it can stop. The doctor is going to start me on medicine and I’m going to be on bed rest until the tissue and my heart heal.”  
“So I should cancel the hit on Jax?”  
“Daddy…Don’t even joke about that.”  
“I’m sorry…That was in poor taste considering his line of work. I was joking sweetheart. I would never. I know you’re perfectly capable of ordering your own hits.”  
“I need someone to meet with the architect tomorrow with Gemma. I will talk to Gemma about what I want, so she will handle that bit, but I don’t want her handling the financing. She knows that I have money, I just don’t need her knowing how much money. I don’t want to become the club’s emergency slush fund.”  
“I will attend the meeting with Gemma.”  
“Thanks Daddy. Also, is there an accountant or investment guy on staff that can look over some books for me? I have a friend who needs a cash influx or she’s going to have to shut down her business and I’d like to consider making an investment.”  
“What friend?”  
“Luann Delaney. My friend Lyla works for her.”  
“She’s a club old lady right?”  
“Yeah. Her husband Otto is in prison.”  
“Why doesn’t the club invest?”  
“Clay doesn’t want to deal in pussy.”  
“…What exactly is her business?”  
“She runs CaraCara. The porn studio.”  
“So your friend Lyla?”  
“Is one of the best and most sought after girl-on-girl stars in the business. If Luann has to shut down CaraCara, Lyla will end up working for a total sleaze ball. She’s safer if Luann can stay in business.”  
“Get me the books, I’ll get someone to look over them.”  
“Thanks Daddy.”  
“We’ll get out of your hair and let you rest.”

Jake kisses my forehead and walks out of the room with Clarence following. I’m alone for a minute and then Opie walks in, followed by Kozik, Piney, and Clay. Piney sits down in the chair next to me, Kozik sits on my bed with his arm around me, and Clay and Opie lean against the wall. Clay says:  
“How are you feeling baby?”  
“Tired.”  
“Your Dad was on the phone with a finance guy when he left. What was that about?”  
“Luann needs investors. I told Lyla I would look at the books and think about it.”  
“You don’t want to get involved in the pussy business baby.”  
“Maybe I do. It’s good business. Plus, I don’t want Lyla to have to go work for a douchebag.”  
“Trust me, you don’t.”  
“I appreciate your input Clay, but it’s my money and if I want to invest it in another old lady’s business, that’s my call.”  
“I would hope you would discuss it with Opie and Jax first.”

Opie shakes his head and says:  
“Leave me out of this. What my old lady does with her money is her business.”  
“Thank you babe. Oh, Clay, speaking of my money, can you have Gemma come by? I’d like her to meet with Jake and the architect tomorrow morning, so I need to talk to her about what I want.”  
“Gemma won’t be comfortable discussing costs baby.”  
“She won’t be. Jake will handle the money side of things. Gemma is there to make sure that the house ends up looking how I want instead of how Jake wants, and that it’s functional for the family and the club.”  
“Functional for the club…how?”  
“Aside from the usual family dinners and such? Jake bought a huge plot of land with the assumption that Duncan and Meg would be building a house there as well. They aren’t. They’ve decided to stay in Neptune. So we have 15 secluded acres to ourselves. Makes sense to add an underground storage facility and bunker, don’t you think? No-one would suspect the club would be keeping illicit goods at our house, and no-one would bat an eye at club members coming back and forth.”  
“That’s clever. Can we trust the architect?”  
“If you pay them enough you can trust anyone. Or I can just get CW to kill him after.”

Opie looks at me and raises an eyebrow. I say:  
“It was a joke, babe.”  
Clay laughs and says:  
“For builders, you need to get Oswald Construction. We’ve known Elliott for years.”  
“And we can trust him?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Good.”  
“I’ll head home and get Gemma to come see you.”  
“Thanks Clay. I don’t want her bringing the kids.”  
“I know. They’re too little to have to see their Mama in a hospital bed.”  
“Exactly. Thanks.”  
He walks over and kisses me before leaving the room. As he leaves, Piney reaches over and holds my hand.  
“Sweetheart, what caused this?”  
“Dr. Knowles thinks it’s a parasite I picked up during my surgery in Peru. It’s caused inflammation in the tissue around my heart. When I get agitated it can cause my heart to stop. She’s putting me on medication and then full bed rest until the babies are born.”  
“So it wasn’t Jax?”  
“No. The argument we were having could be blamed for the agitation, but it wasn’t his fault.”  
“Our lives aren’t exactly calm, sweetheart.”  
“I know. I’ll just have to work extra hard to stay calm. It’ll be fine.”  
He stands up and kisses my forehead before he says:  
“You call if you need anything, okay?”  
“Okay. Thanks, Pop.”  
He leaves the room, hugging Opie on the way by. I curl my body into Kozik’s and press my nose against his neck.  
“I’m so tired, Dad.”  
“I know, sweet girl…I was so scared when I walked into that room and saw you unconscious on the floor. I don’t think I’ve ever been that scared.”

I kiss his cheek and then rest my head on his shoulder.   
“I’m sorry I scared you.”  
“I’m just happy you’ll be okay. I’ll come see you tomorrow, okay?”  
“Yeah.”  
He kisses my forehead and gets up off the bed. He’s almost to the door when I say:  
“Patch into SAMCRO, Dad. Please. I hate you being a Nomad. It scares me. I’m scared all the time.”  
“You convince Tig to vote yes and I can do that. He’s the blocker.”  
“I’ll work on him.”  
“Thanks, kid. Love you.”  
“I love you.”

Once he’s out of the room, I reach out for Opie and say:  
“Come here and hold me.”  
I lie on my side on the edge of the bed and he takes off his shoes and cut before lying down next to me and pulling me into his arms. I press my face into his chest and inhale deeply.  
“I’m with Kozik. I have never been so scared in my life as I was when he carried you out of that room and you were limp and unresponsive.”  
“I’m right here, Ope. I’m okay.”  
“But if you don’t follow Tara’s orders you might not be. You aren’t the best at doing what you’re told.”  
“I listen to doctors, Opie. I just don’t listen to you and Jax.”  
“Brat.”  
“I’m so tired, Ope. Stay with me while I sleep?”  
“I’m not going anywhere, baby.”

I drift to sleep with him holding me and brushing my hair back out of my face. When I wake up a while later I have an IV in my arm and Jax is sitting in the chair next to the bed, leaning forward with his forehead on my back.  
“Oh my loves. You’re both here.”  
Jax stands up and leans over me before saying:  
“Of course we are you silly girl. Gemma’s in the hall. She said you wanted to see her?”  
“Yeah. I need to talk to her before the appointment with the architect tomorrow. I want her to be my proxy. Is Ope asleep?”  
“Seems to be. Want me to wake him up?”  
“No, but I need to sit up to talk to Gemma, so he needs to move.”

Jax kisses me and then kisses Opie until he wakes up to kiss back. When Jax pulls back he says:  
“Good morning sleeping beauty. Our girl needs you to move so she can sit up while talking to Gemma.”  
Opie kisses me then gets up out of bed. I shift so I’m on my back and then I sit the bed up completely and Jax puts pillows behind my back to make me more comfortable.

“Was it Dr. Knowles who put my IV in?”  
Opie says:  
“Yeah. She says you need to be careful with it.”  
“Did she say when this catheter comes out?”  
“Yeah…I told her that would bother you. She says it comes out when she can trust you to move around without passing out. She’s almost as snarky as you.”  
“Yeah…Clearly Jax’s type runs more to attitude, not looks.”

Jax says:  
“She told you, huh?”  
“Yup. She’s pretty. What happened?”  
“She left town to go to university. She just came home.”  
“You loved her? Love her?”  
“I thought she was the love of my life from the time I was sixteen until five minutes after I met you, when I realized that I had no idea what being in love felt like before you.”  
“God, you’re a suck up.”  
“Yeah, but I’m your suck up.”

I roll my eyes at him and he laughs before he kisses me.  
“I want you guys to go home and get some sleep.”

They look at each other and then look at me like I’ve grown a second head.  
“We’re not leaving you.”  
“Oh, my difficult boys. One of you may stay. Flip a coin or something. The one that stays can sleep in the bed with me. The other can go home and can stay tomorrow night if I’m still here. For now, both of you get out and let me talk to Gemma.”

Jax says:  
“We don’t get a say in our house?”  
“Are you an old lady?”  
“Don’t start little girl.”  
“You don’t need a say, love. Gemma and I know what we need. For the house and the bunker.”  
“Bunker?”  
“Yeah. We have 15 acres, so we’re going to get an underground facility built too. Storage rooms for club business, bunk rooms for old ladies, kids, friends of the club. Kitchen facilities, the works. More secure than the clubhouse for when we need it, and no-one would suspect club members coming to and from our house.”  
“Smart.”  
“That’s what Clay said too.”  
“Fine. We’ll be back after you are done with Gemma.”  
“Can you actually call Tig? I need to talk to him.”  
“Yup.”

They both walk out of the room and Gemma comes in. She walks over to me and kisses me before saying:  
“How are you feeling darlin’?”  
“Tired. You don’t mind meeting with the architect do you? Jake will handle all the money stuff, I just want you there to make sure that the house gets designed with our family in mind, not what Jake wants.”  
“I don’t mind at all. You want to give me an idea of what you’re thinking?”  
I explain to her what I want for the house, and then we discuss the bunker. I tell her what I think we need and then let her know to make further decisions about it herself, after all, she’s the queen and she knows everyone we need to protect. As we finish talking I say:  
“Maybe talk to Clay about what the club will need for storage rooms down in the bunker. Just to make sure we plan for what they need.”  
“This is all going to be expensive, baby. Are you sure you can afford it?”  
“The majority of the building funds are not coming out of my money. Jake set aside money for building the house. If we go over budget we’ll take it out of my trust fund. No big deal.”  
“Okay. Well, Jake called me earlier with the meeting details, so I will go to that in the morning and then come back here and fill you in.”  
“That’d be great. Thank you so much Gemma.”  
“No problem baby. This is what family is for.”

She kisses me and then leaves the room. Tig walks in after she leaves and comes over and kisses my forehead. He sits down in the chair and says:  
“You wanted to see me sweetheart?”  
“We need to talk about my Dad.”  
“Oh, baby. Do we have to?”  
“I need you to vote him in Tiggy. Him being Nomad scares the shit out of me.”  
“Baby…Your Dad and I get along a lot better again, and that’s all because of how much we both love you…But, I can’t.”  
“Tig…I love you, so much, but…She was a dog. It’s time to let it go a little.”  
“I loved her.”  
“So did he. Tig…Please. I’m so scared that something is going to happen to him out there with no-one to protect him. Let him patch in, let him have an official family again. Please.”  
“Argh…You’re killing me here, baby…Fine. I’ll vote in favour of him patching in.”  
“Thank you Tig.”  
“Kid…If I didn’t love you so much I’d be really pissed at you for manipulating me.”  
“I love you too, Tiggy.”  
He stands up and gently kisses me before leaving the room. 

I lay my bed back down and curl up on my side, facing the baby monitors so I can watch the twins’ heartbeats. I fall asleep at some point and when I wake up I feel Jax behind me, his arms wrapped around me. One under my neck and over my waist with his hand resting on my stomach. I hear his voice and Tara’s voice, so I keep my eyes closed and listen. Tara says:  
“How old was she when you met her?”  
“Fifteen.”  
“Jesus, Jax.”  
“I know, Tara, okay? I know I shouldn’t have kept talking to her once I figured out how old she was. I know I should have walked away. But I couldn’t. After five minutes of conversation I knew I wanted to marry her. After a few hours with her I would have happily walked away from everything in my life in order to get just a little more time with her.”  
“You love her.”  
“More than I’ve ever loved anything, or anyone.”  
“There was a time you said that about me.”  
“And I still would have said it five minutes before I met her. Then I realized that I didn’t know anything about loving someone before I met her.”  
“God, that sounds ridiculous and cheesy.”  
“I know. She’s turned me into a sap…Also, she’s awake.”

I open my eyes, intertwine my fingers with his on top of my stomach and turn my head to kiss the arm that’s under my neck.   
“How did you know I was awake?”  
He laughs and whispers in my ear:  
“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you snore my darling.”  
“I do not.”  
“Shall we call Opie, or Tig, or Leo and ask them about it?”

Lyla walks in carrying some ledgers and says:  
“Can confirm, you snore V.”  
“Ugh…Lyla. You’re not supposed to side with Jax.”  
“Sorry babe. I’ve shared a bed with you enough to know you snore. You also occasionally talk in your sleep.”  
“Keep my secrets to yourself traitorous woman. Are those the CaraCara books?”  
“Yeah. Luann says there’s two, and normally she wouldn’t show investors, but since it’s you…”  
“She’s skimming off the top before she pays the club their percentage, isn’t she?”  
“Seems like it.”

Lyla looks at Jax, and he says:  
“What? I heard nothing. My fiancée was talking about boring investment crap with her porn star friend. I tuned it out.”  
“Good man, Jax.”

I look at Lyla and say:  
“She knows that will need to stop if I invest, right?”  
“She knows.”  
“Okay. I’ll get these to the financial specialists and see what they say. Thanks La.”  
“No problem. Ummm…V?”  
“Yes, dear?”  
“Leo asked me out.”  
“Why do you sound concerned about that? Leo’s a great guy and really sexy, trust me, I’ve seen him shirtless.”  
“I just wasn’t sure if it would bother you. He is your cop after all.”  
“I love Leo, but I’m not in love with Leo, and will, at no point ever, want to have sex with him. You should go out with him.”  
“Okay. I will then. I’m actually going to head home. I need to pick up Piper.”  
“Okay love.”  
She leans over me and kisses me before leaving the room. Jax puts his mouth against my ear and whispers:  
“How frequently have you seen our lovely cop without his shirt?”  
“Everytime he slept in my bed during the last four months. He sleeps in pyjama pants and no shirt. I’d like to remind you that nothing happened. He just held me and comforted me after my nightmares. Also, every time we took the kids to the beach…and while we snuggled on the couch with the kids watching movies or reading stories. Leo spends a lot of time at our house, and a fair portion of that time he’s shirtless.”  
“He was trying to get you to change your mind about sleeping with him.”  
“Yeah, probably. Didn’t work though.”  
“And why is that?”  
“Because why would I want anyone but you and Opie? You’re the two most beautiful men I’ve ever seen.”  
“Now who’s the suck up?”  
“Just stating facts, baby.”

I look at Tara and say:  
“Dr. Knowles, when can I go home? I want to sleep in my own bed and hold my kids.”  
“We’ve got you on an accelerated treatment for the parasite. You should be able to go home tomorrow. But on strict bed rest. And that means no sex, Veronica.”  
“I just went four months without sex. Are you trying to kill me?”  
She laughs and walks out of the room.

Jax mumbles at me:  
“Way to be dramatic baby. Besides, I’m pretty sure you fucked Lyla while we were gone for four months.”  
“Pretty sure I didn’t. Pretty sure I’d remember a sexual encounter with a porn star that specializes in girl on girl. The only person in our relationship that Lyla has fucked is Opie.”  
“When the hell did Opie fuck Lyla?”  
“A couple of months before I came back from Tacoma.”  
“Explain.”  
“Okay, but get up for a minute so I can roll over and face you.”

He gets up and I carefully roll over so he can lie back down. He wraps his arms around me again and I stare into his eyes while I run my fingertips down the side of his face.  
“I love you.”  
“I love you, so much Veronica. It scared me so badly this afternoon when Kozik found you unconscious. I thought I had done it. I thought I was going to lose you and it was all my fault.”  
“I’m right here, Jax. I’m not going anywhere. And what happened today was not your fault.”

I kiss him until he gently pushes me back and says:  
“Don’t think you can distract me from the fact that Opie slept with Lyla. Explain.”  
“About a week after the whole you and Ima thing, Lyla showed up in Neptune. I was napping, and Abuelita didn’t know who she was so she let her upstairs. She wanted to tell me that she had sex with Opie, but it was only once and it was before Ope and I got together. Opie and I were talking about you when he got out and he told me about Lyla, but he expanded on what happened and why.”  
“So? Don’t hold out on me. Spill.”  
“A couple of months before I left Tacoma, things with Lee were getting really bad. He had broken my cheekbone when I fought back one night, and after that he was just more violent with me. I had gone to stay with Kozik, and the night I showed up there, Lee had cut me more than usual. Kozik made me strip so he could clean all the wounds. When I first took off my dress he cried. Lee had cut me 45 times, all little ones, none requiring stitches or even bandages really, but Kozik…He got really protective after that. One afternoon a week or so later I went to the clubhouse after school. Lee never touched me in public, and I wanted to be around people instead of in Kozik’s empty apartment. When I walked in, Opie was sitting on the couch.”  
“And you wanted him? Even back then?”  
“Baby, I wanted Opie from the minute I met him. It’s like every cell in my body was screaming out for him to touch me.”  
“So you’ve been in love with him the whole time too?”  
“Yeah. I wasn’t ever going to act on it. I was yours, and he was your best friend.”  
“I’m really glad I told you that you could.”  
“So am I.”  
“So that day at the clubhouse?”  
“He was sitting on the couch and I needed to be closer to him. It’s like I had forgotten how to breathe and I knew if I could just touch him everything would be okay again. I would be safe. So I walked over and I straddled his lap. He put his hands on my hips and was leaning in to talk to me — he says he was going to suggest we go back to the apartment because he needed to get me alone and naked — when Kozik grabbed me and dragged me out of the clubhouse. He squeezed my arm so tight he actually bruised me. He yelled at me. Told me to go back to his apartment and if I wanted to fuck someone I needed to find a non-club member. I left, and Kozik went back inside and banished Opie from Tacoma.”  
“Why? Why did he care if you fucked Ope?”  
“He says that if Lee had seen how much I wanted Opie that he would kill Ope and then me. He also thought Opie would see the cuts and I would explain where I got them, and then Opie would kill Lee and be excommunicated. Which Opie admits he would have done. He says that if he had known he would have shot Lee in the head in the middle of the clubhouse.”  
“I know the feeling.”  
“Opie left Tacoma, came back to Charming. There was a club party or something a few days later. Lyla and Ima were there. Ope still wanted me, and Lyla didn’t care that he wanted to pretend she was someone else.”  
“So, you and Lyla became friends after the great reveal that she had fucked one of the loves of your life?”  
“Yeah. I mean…She’s great. We talked for a long time that day, and then a couple of weeks later she came out for a girls’ weekend with me, Meg, and Mac. Meg was having issues knowing what she liked sexually and Lyla offered to help. Leo took the kids for the weekend and we had an old-fashioned sleepover party. Junk food, girl talk, chick flicks. It was great. Lyla and I have been close since.”  
“You don’t have a problem with the fact that Opie’s cock has been inside her?”  
“No. We weren’t together then. It’s not like he cheated on me. And really? If I hated every chick one of you has fucked, I’d have to hate a lot of women. I just don’t have the energy.”  
“That’s a very pragmatic way of looking at it.”  
“Yeah…I guess. But I will say, if any of those women came back and tried to take you from me, I’d kill them.”  
“That seems like a pointed statement about a certain doctor, so let me just say, I love you more than anything. I’m not going anywhere and no-one is taking me from you.”  
“Marry me.”  
“Babe, that’s what I was trying to do when you collapsed. Don’t you want to wait until you’re out of the hospital?”  
“If I get out tomorrow, sure. If I don’t…no. I don’t want to wait.”  
“Why the sudden urgency, baby?”  
“I just hate that we’ve spent so much time apart…First with me in Tacoma and you here, and then the whole thing with Ima…I just want to be together. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

He brushes my hair out of my eyes and kisses me before he says:  
“We are together babe. Whether we’re married or not, you are mine, I am yours. We can’t focus on the wasted time. All we can do is move forward baby.”

I run my fingers gently through his hair before tangling my fingers in it at the back of his head, pulling him towards me. I kiss him, pouring all of my love for him into it. When we pull apart I say:  
“I love you, so much. You are one of my two most favourite people in the whole world. I’m sorry I freaked out earlier about the old lady comment. I know the drill, I do. I just worry about you guys all the time. Knowing you’re not watching each other’s back just makes me worry more. I know you’re just trying to protect me, to make it so there’s no risk of leaving me alone…But baby, I’d rather take the risk of being left alone than lose one of you because the other isn’t there to help.”  
“Veronica…”  
“What, Jax?”  
“I can’t help but think that you should have stayed in Neptune with Keith when Lianne split. At least you would have had a normal life. You deserve more than this. More than the club. You shouldn’t have to worry everyday that the men you love aren’t going to come home. You shouldn’t have three kids and two more on the way at eighteen. You should be doing normal teenage things, preparing for university.”  
“Jesus Christ, you sound like Juice. I made a choice to leave Neptune with Lianne. I chose to sit next to you at that doctor’s office — you were beautiful and I just wanted to talk to you. I chose to date you. I chose to keep Abel. I chose not to go back to Neptune when shit hit the fucking fan in Tacoma. I chose to contact Kozik when Lee messaged me. I chose to have sex with you that night, to get back together with you. I chose to start a relationship with Opie. I chose to get engaged to you. I chose to accept custody of Ellie and Kenny. I chose to keep this pregnancy. Are you sensing a theme here? I chose. I chose you and this life. I knew what I was in for, and I still chose you! I don’t care about normal teenage things. I love you, I love Opie, I love our kids. I chose you all. I choose you everyday. I will keep choosing you everyday.”

He sighs and kisses me.  
“My sweet girl…You’re on bed rest for the rest of the year. How do you keep up your GPA to get into Stanford?”  
“I can do my schoolwork from bed. I’ll talk to Mr.C about doing it from Charming instead of Neptune.”  
“No. We’re going back to Neptune.”  
“I can’t. I have to be here for follow-up appointments.”  
“You are going to Stanford, my love.”  
“We’ll see.”  
“No! You are not giving up your future, your dreams because of our life. Ope and I are passable mechanics with our GEDs. All we can do well is outlaw. Baby, you have potential. You want to be a lawyer. Do not throw that away to support us!”  
“Jackson…Don’t you get it yet? You…Ope…The kids? You’re my dream. You’re all I want, everything else is secondary.”  
“You can’t just give up on being a lawyer.”  
“Jax, I can never be a lawyer! You and Ope are both felons. I’ll never make it past the ethics board. Even if I go to law school, I’ll never pass the bar. I’ll never get to be a lawyer. Never get to practice law.”  
“Because you’ll be married to me?”  
“Because I have children with you. As soon as I put your name on Abel’s birth certificate, all thoughts of getting to be a lawyer vanished. When I accepted custody of Ellie and Kenny…that was the final nail in the coffin of that dream.”  
“Jesus, Veronica. Why didn’t you say anything? You gave up your future and didn’t say a goddamn word. Why?”

Opie steps into the room from where he must have been listening in the hall and says:  
“She didn’t want us to feel guilty for stealing her future from her.”  
“You didn’t steal shit. I knew the consequences of my actions when I made my choices. I didn’t tell you guys because I didn’t want you to walk away and take everything from me. I would never choose being a lawyer over being a mother to those kids or an old lady to you.”

Jax and Opie both sigh and Opie walks over to the bed and says:  
“Move over. Both of you.”  
“Ope, there is no room in this bed for you.”  
“Sure there is. Move over.”

Jax moves as far to his side as he can and pulls me tight against his body.  
“Be careful of her IV, Ope.”  
“Yeah.”

I hear Opie take off his shoes and cut and then he carefully climbs onto the bed, wrapping himself around me. I inhale deeply, breathing in the combined scent of my men, and relax into their arms. Opie whispers in my ear:  
“Veronica, we just want what’s best for you.”  
“I just want you. Why is this so difficult to understand?”  
“Because you are brilliant, my love. You deserve a great life…Not just being an old lady, even if you will be the queen.”  
“I’ll figure something out. I’m only eighteen. Most people don’t know what they want to do with their lives at my age. Maybe I’ll take my P.I. exam…follow people around and take tawdry pictures.”

Jax says:  
“That sounds dangerous.”  
“Really? You want to talk about dangerous professions?”  
“It’s different for us. It’s our job to protect you. You can’t expect us to be okay with you doing a job that puts you in danger.”  
“This is a conversation for another day. Nothing has to be decided right now. Just hold me…Please?”  
“Yeah, okay baby.”

They both hold me a little tighter than before and I fall asleep to the sound of them speaking quietly to each other.


	14. Christmas Eve

I’m lying in bed with the kids reading them a story when I hear the front door open and close. Footsteps walk down the hallway to my bedroom door and Clay appears.  
“Hi babies.”  
Ellie and Kenny both say:  
“Hi Grandpa.”

I move over on the bed, bringing the kids with me and say:  
“Come join us for a story. Maybe you can take over. Mama’s getting tired.”  
He takes off his shoes and cut and settles on the bed next to Ellie. He takes the book from me and starts reading to the kids. I must fall asleep, because when I wake up the kids are gone and Clay is sitting next to me stroking my hair.  
“You were whimpering. What were you dreaming about?”  
“Lee…It’s always Lee.”  
Before he can say anything else, Tig walks in.  
“Hi sweetheart. Can I help you to the couch?”  
“I think I can make it by myself, Tiggy. You staying to watch a movie?”  
“Yeah. The boys are on a run. I’m on Veronica duty.”  
“It’s nice that there’s a fucking schedule.”  
“Someone’s feisty today.”  
“Sorry…Bad dream. Go make popcorn. I’ll be right there.”

I get out of bed and use the washroom before walking out to the living room. The kids are sitting on the floor with their popcorn, Clay is sitting in the armchair, and Tig is sitting on the couch with a pillow on his leg for me. I lay down on the couch with my head on Tig’s lap and he strokes my hair while we watch the movie.

The movie is over, the kids are napping, and Clay has gone home by the time Opie and Jax get home. Tig and I are watching some crime drama on TV, I’m curled into his side and he has his arm around me.

Jax walks in and shakes his head before saying:  
“It’s Christmas Eve darlin’. Stop cuddling with Tig and go get ready for family dinner.”  
“Uh…Bedrest.”  
“Yeah? Mom has a couch. Go get ready. There’s a new dress hanging in the closet. Wear that.”  
“Bossy.”

As I’m standing up to go into the bedroom, I get dizzy and fall back into Tig. Both Jax and Opie rush over.  
“I’m fine. Just got dizzy.”  
Opie leans over and picks me up, carrying me into the bedroom.   
“You going to help me get ready too?”  
“Yeah. Let’s start with a shower. I want to wash your hair.”  
“Weirdo.”  
“Yeah, but I’m your weirdo.”

Jax yells from the living room:  
“So I guess I’ll get the kids ready by myself then? Cool. Thanks Ope.”

The front door opens and closes again and I hear Lyla’s voice say:  
“Where’s Ronnie? I’ll help her get ready.”  
“In the bedroom. Ope says he’s going to help her.”  
“Oh…No. That will not do.”  
She walks into the bedroom and says:  
“Get out. I’ll help her get ready. Go help Jax with the kids.”

Opie leaves the room, his hands up in defeat. Lyla throws her bag on my bed and then steers me to the bathroom and closes the door behind us.  
“Shower first.”  
She turns on the water and then pulls my pyjama top off.  
“You know I’m capable of getting undressed, right?”  
“Yup.”  
She takes off her own clothes and gets in the shower, holding her hand out for me.  
“You do need help washing your hair though. The last time you tried it on your own you passed out in the shower.”  
“True.”  
I take off my pyjama pants and step into the shower. Lyla washes my hair then helps me wash my body — I can’t bend over enough to wash my feet and legs, I am six months pregnant with twins, so I’m huge. When we’re done we get out and she helps me dry off before she gets re-dressed and we walk out into the bedroom. She throws a bra and panties at me, and while I put those on she closes the door and opens her bag.

She makes me sit down and she does my hair and make-up, ignoring me when I say:  
“Why all the fuss? It’s just family dinner.”  
When she’s done, she strips down again and puts on a dress that was in her bag. It’s short, silver, and lacy. She puts on a pair of heels and then walks over to my closet and pulls a garment bag out. When she unzips it, I see a white lace dress with a silver sash.   
“Oh my god.”  
“Surprise?”  
“Help me put it on.”

We get the dress on, it’s lined white lace, knee-length and form fitting, hugging every curve of my body. The sash sits between my breasts and my baby bump, and the sleeves are lace bell-sleeves. There’s a pair of white flats in the bag, clearly whoever did my shopping realized I didn’t want to wear heels.  
“Was this you or Gemma?”  
Before Lyla can answer, the door opens and Celeste walks in.  
“It was me. My way of apologizing for not understanding. I’m so sorry my darling.”

I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her.  
“I love you Celeste. You’re the only mother I have.”  
“Well, not entirely true. You have Gemma.”  
“Well, if you want to count mother-in-laws, I guess I have Mary too, but she’s fairly useless…and she doesn’t like me.”  
“How anyone could not like you, I don’t understand.”  
“I continue to not be Donna.”

Lyla hands me a coat to wear over my dress and once I have it and my shoes on, we walk into the living room. Jax and Opie are dressed and they’ve gotten the kids ready too. Ellie is wearing a little girl’s version of Lyla’s dress, and Kenny and Abel are wearing dark blue jeans and white dress shirts like their Daddies. Jax and Ope are wearing their cuts over their dress shirts, and both of them have their hair pulled back.   
“I can’t believe you all kept this from me.”

Jax laughs and says:  
“In our defence, you sleep so much we could have planned the party in our bedroom and you still wouldn’t have noticed.”  
“Hahaha.”  
“Come on baby. I’ll walk you out to the car. Your Mom brought a limo for you ladies and the kids. We’ll follow on our bikes.”

When we get to Gemma’s, I notice that the backyard has been transformed into a wedding venue complete with chairs and twinkle lights. There have been changes made to inside as well, the giant dining room table has been pushed to one side and turned into a buffet table, and all the living room furniture except for one chair with my name pinned to it has been removed. The large patio doors to the backyard are open, and I see people milling about.

Lyla kisses my cheek and heads outside to where Leo and Piper are. Celeste does the same and goes to sit with Jake, who is sitting next to Keith, Wallace, and Alicia. As I watch, everyone takes their seats, and Lyla comes back to me.   
“Let’s go down the hall and get ready to walk down the aisle.”  
“We have the rings?”  
“Ope does. Breathe V. Everything is handled. Do you remember your vow?”  
“With this ring, I vow my love. I promise to always be a loving and faithful old lady.”  
“Yeah, except this time it’s ‘loving and faithful wife…and old lady’.”  
“Got it.”

Kozik walks up and kisses my cheek.  
“I’m going to walk you down the aisle, okay sweetheart?”  
“Yeah…Thanks Dad.”

I look outside and Jax and Opie are standing at the end of the aisle with Bobby.

I take off my coat and we take the coats off the kids. The music starts, it’s “Hallelujah” by Lindsay Stirling, so no lyrics, just violin. We send Ellie and the boys down the aisle first, Ellie in the middle, holding her brothers’ hands. Lyla kisses my cheek and follows the kids. 

Kozik takes a minute and kisses my forehead before saying:  
“I love you so much kid.”  
“I love you, Dad. I’m so grateful I found you.”  
He hands me a bouquet of white and blue roses with a silver ribbon, and takes my arm. He walks me up the aisle and when we get up to Jax, Kozik kisses me on the cheek, then does the same to Jax and Opie. Before he can walk away, Bobby says:   
“Wait a minute. This is wrong. You can’t give away the bride without a cut. Where is your cut?”

Kozik says:  
“It disappeared earlier.”  
Tig says:  
“Here it is.”  
He throws it to Kozik and Kozik puts it on and I start to cry when I see the “Redwood Original” patch. He looks down and says:  
“You patched me in?”  
Jax says:  
“Yeah. Earlier today. Tig had to vote by proxy since he was keeping Veronica company.”  
I blow a kiss to Tig and say:  
“Thank you.”  
“Only ‘cause I love you kid. I wouldn’t put up with him for anyone else.”

I hug Kozik and brush my lips against his before saying:  
“I love you, Dad.”  
“Oh, baby. You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that. Now get married.”  
“Yes, sir.”

I hand Lyla my bouquet, turn to face Jax and take his hands.  
“Let’s do this Bobby.”

Bobby smiles at me and raises his voice to say:  
“I think this is the first time I’ve performed a marriage for one of our guys and his fiancée with her other old man standing by their side. Strange, strange times this little girl has brought us. I don’t think any of us would trade her away for anything though, she brings out the best in each of us, and makes us all love each other more than we already did. She will be an excellent queen, and we’re all grateful to have her.”

Jax laughs and says:  
“Enough of a love letter to my girl, Bobby. She’s gotta sit down. Let’s get with the vows.”

Bobby says:  
“Right. I forgot. Our girl is supposed to be on bedrest. Let’s do the ring exchange and vows. Opie? The rings?”

Opie hands us our rings and steps back behind Jax.  
Bobby says:  
“Okay Veronica, darling. You first.”

I slide the ring onto Jax’s finger as I say:  
“With this ring, I vow my love. I promise to always be a loving and faithful wife…and old lady.”  
Jax smiles at me and slides my ring on as he says:  
“With this ring, I vow my love. And I promise always to cherish and protect you.”  
Opie raises an eyebrow and says:  
“And what else?”  
Jax says:  
“And treat you as good as my leather and…”  
All the SAMCRO guys join in and say:  
“…ride you as much as my Harley.”

Bobby says:  
“Veronica Winston and Jackson Teller, by the power invested in me by the State of California, I declare you man and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

Jax smiles and kisses me passionately before whispering in my ear:  
“I can’t wait for bedrest to be done so I can ravish you Mrs. Winston-Teller.”  
“I love you. I really need to sit down though, I’m getting dizzy.”  
He picks me up and carries me to the chair in the living room.  
“For the rest of the night, you don’t move except for a single dance at a time. Got it, wife?”  
“Yes, husband.”

Everyone leaves their seats when Opie says:  
“Let’s get this party started.”  
I watch as he picks up the kids and spins them around before passing the boys off to Kozik and Tig. He and Ellie come in the room with me and start dancing, other people follow them in and soon I have all the entertainment I can handle. Piper starts dancing in front of me saying:  
“Aunty Ronnie, watch me.”  
“I am watching kiddo.”

I hear the first notes of “When you say you love me” by Josh Groban, and Jax comes over and pulls me up.  
“Come dance with me baby.”  
I drape my arms around his neck and rest my head on his chest. We sway to the music until the song is over, then he kisses me and says:  
“Go sit down baby.”  
“Good idea.”  
I step away from him and Opie picks me up.  
“What are you doing babe?”  
“You look really pale, like you’re going to pass out. I think you need to lie down.”

He looks at Gemma and she nods. He carries me to Gemma’s room and lays me down on the bed then lays down next to me.  
“But the party.”  
“Sweetheart, everyone knows you’re sick. You are supposed to be on bedrest. Just lay down for a little while and then I’ll take you back out there.”  
“Stay with me? I don’t want to be asleep alone with all these people here.”  
“I’m not going anywhere baby.”

I lay down for a while, and then I start to feel better.  
“Let’s go back to the party, Ope.”  
“Yeah, okay.”  
We walk back out to the party and Jax loudly says:  
“Ah. The bride is back. She has three fathers who all want to dance with her, so shall we go biological, step, chosen?”

I nod and say:  
“Yeah.”

Jake comes over to me and takes me in his arms as the first notes of “Butterfly Kisses” by Bob Carlisle play. After the song is over, I kiss his cheek and say:  
“I love you Dad.”  
“I love you too baby-girl. Your sister would be so proud of you.”

Keith walks over to me and says:  
“You feeling up for a dance with me?”  
“Of course, Daddy.”  
He takes me in his arms and “I Loved Her First” by Heartland starts playing. When the first chorus starts, I start crying and he kisses my cheek and says:  
“I will always love you most, Veronica.”  
“I love you, Daddy.”

When the song is over Kozik comes and picks me up and puts me down in the chair.   
“Don’t you want to dance with me Dad?”  
“I do baby. I just don’t want you to pass out. So sit for a few minutes, okay?”  
I nod and watch other people dance for a little bit, including my lovely guys and our kids, all dancing together. 

I hear the first notes of “Because you loved me” by Celine Dion and Kozik comes and wraps me in his arms. I cry the whole time we’re dancing together, because out of all my Dads, he’s the one who was there for me through everything I’ve been through in the past few years, and no matter what I did, even when he disapproved, he never stopped loving me and being there for me.

When I look up at him, he’s crying too. I say:  
“You big softie.”  
“Apparently. I never thought my very short, very bad relationship with your Mom would lead to me having a daughter, two son-in-laws, and five grandkids…Life is strange.”  
“Right? I’m so glad I have you. You are one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I love you.”  
“I love you, sweet girl.”

When the song is over I kiss his cheek and go sit down. Once I’ve been sitting for a few minutes, I hear the first notes of “Beauty and the Beast” by Angela Lansbury and I start to laugh as Opie grabs my hand and pulls me up. We wrap our arms around each other and dance.  
“You’re such a dork.”  
“It made you smile.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you.”

When the song is over Gemma says:  
“Dinner time everyone. Eat something to soak up all the alcohol everyone but the bride and the kids will be drinking later.”  
“Yeah…This whole ‘everyone can get drunk at Veronica’s wedding except Veronica’ thing is violently unfair. Just for the record, I hate you all.’

Everyone yells:  
“We love you too.”

We eat dinner and then I loudly say:  
“I hate to be a party pooper, but I’m exhausted. I’m going to take the kids home, with tomorrow being Christmas we have an early morning anyway.”

Lyla looks at me and I say:  
“Yeah, I’ll take Piper too.”  
Tig says:  
“I’ll go with you. You need help with the kids, and I don’t want you to be alone.”  
“Thanks Tiggy.”  
He goes to get the kids in their coats and shoes and I kiss Jax and Opie. Jax says:  
“Do you want us to come home with you?”  
“No. Stay. Enjoy the party. I’m fine with Tig. Just don’t drink too much, and if you do, stay here. Please.”  
“Of course love.”

Tig walks over to me with the kids and my coat.  
“Let’s go sweetheart.”

We take the limo home, and we put the kids to bed. By the time I sit down in my room to take off my make-up, I’m exhausted. When Tig walks in he crouches next to me and takes the make-up removal wipe out of my hand.  
“Let me, Veronica.”  
“Thanks Tig.”

He gets all my make-up off and then goes over to my dresser and gets me a set of pyjamas.  
“Turn around kiddo, I’ll unzip your dress.”

I turn around and he unzips my dress, running the fingers of his other hand down my spine as the skin is exposed. He pushes the dress off my shoulders and I say:  
“Can you undo my bra too? Lyla had to do it up for me.”  
I hear him swallow and he says:  
“Of course.”  
I feel his hands shaking as he undoes the bra.  
“Tig, breathe. You’re just helping me get changed. Jax and Ope won’t fault you for this.”  
“No, but they would definitely have an issue with the thoughts I’m having right now.”  
“Thought crime isn’t a thing Tiggy. As long as thoughts don’t turn into actions you’re fine.”  
“Veronica…”  
“Tig, I’m eighteen, married to your VP, Opie’s old lady, pregnant with twins, and on bed rest which, I’m sad to say, includes a strict ‘no sex policy’. I am not the girl you want to be lusting after right now.”  
“All of those are very good reasons why I shouldn’t be thinking what I’m thinking…But I love you, you’re so soft, you smell so good, and thanks to our naps I know exactly how you feel in my arms.”  
“Tig…Thank you for your help with the kids, but you should go back to the party.”  
“Veronica, I don’t want to leave you alone.”  
“Tig. I’m fine. Please go.”  
“Veronica…”  
“Tig. Get out.”  
He turns me around and kisses me, forcing his tongue into my mouth. I bite him and shove him away from me.  
“Get out of my house. Leave right now, and I don’t tell the club what you just did. Get out!”

He has tears in his eyes as he steps towards me.  
“Veronica…I’m sorry baby.”  
“Get out.”  
He turns around and leaves. I hear the front door open and close and then I hear his motorcycle leave. I quickly put my pyjamas on and walk over to the front door and lock it. I go in the hall closet and get a pillow and a blanket and lie down on the couch. It takes me a little while to fall asleep, but I finally do.


	15. Christmas Day

When I wake up a couple of hours later, it’s to the sound of banging on the front door. I get up and look outside and see Mayans. SAMCRO is in a good place with them right now, so I open the door. The guy in front says:  
“Mrs. Teller, sorry to bother you, but we need to speak to your husband.”  
“It’s Winston-Teller, actually. And they aren’t home.”  
“They?”  
“I am Opie Winston’s old lady and Jax Teller’s wife. Neither of them are here. What do you want?”  
“Can we come in? You look like you need to sit down.”  
“I’m supposed to be on bedrest. Yeah, come in. Leave your weapons outside.”

Some of his guys look like they want to argue, so I say:  
“I’m a very pregnant, unarmed eighteen year old and I have four kids asleep inside. I’m not going to hurt you. Leave your weapons outside.”  
I hear familiar laughter and I say:  
“Eli?”  
“It’s Weevil, V. We’ve been through this.”  
“Yeah…I think I told you then that I wasn’t going to call you that because it’s the name of a bug and it’s stupid. What the hell are you doing here?”

The guy in front says:  
“He’s a prospect. How does the future queen of SAMCRO know him?”  
“Eli and I have been friends since we were kids. He’s also my ex. My kids call him Uncle Eli.”  
“Interesting…The prospect is looking a little better suddenly.”  
We walk in the house and Ellie is standing in the living room crying.  
“Mama…Who are they?”  
“Friends of Daddy’s. It’s okay baby. Go back to bed.”  
“I need a story. I can’t sleep. You woke me up when you yelled at Uncle Tig and I haven’t been able to fall asleep since.”

Eli walks up and says:  
“I’ve got her V. Sit down before you pass out.”  
He scoops Ellie up into his arms and says:  
“Hey Ellie-girl. Can I read you a story?”  
“Sure Uncle Eli. You always do the funny voices that Mama forgets.”

I mutter, mostly under my breath:  
“That’s because Uncle Eli is a fucking clown.”  
The guy in charge laughs at that and says:  
“You can call me Marcus by the way. I am truly sorry about interrupting your evening like this Mrs. Winston-Teller.”  
“Call me Veronica. It’s fine that you’re here, but I don’t know when the guys will be home.”  
“Where are they?”  
“My wedding.”  
“Ah. Too tired to stick around for the party?”  
“Yeah.”  
“I’m surprised you’re here alone. I would have thought that one of the patched members or a prospect at least would be here with you and the kids.”  
“A patched member was here. I had to kick him out. It’s fine. I can take care of myself.”

Eli comes back in the room and I say:  
“Eli, can you grab my phone for me? It’s in my purse still I think.”  
“Yeah.”  
He walks down the hall to my room and comes back with one of Jax’s hoodies and my phone.  
“You look cold. Tried to find one of Ope’s but they all smell like Jax.”  
“Yeah, Ope’s are in the wash. Thanks.”  
I put the hoodie on and look at my phone: 27 messages and 10 missed calls from Tig. Eli is looking over my shoulder and says:  
“Why is Tig so desperate to contact you?”  
“I kicked him out. He’s probably trying to apologize for being a fucking asshole. I’ll deal with him in the morning.”

I dial Jax’s number and it goes to voicemail, so I call Opie. He answers a moment later with:  
“Hi babe. Why aren’t you sleeping?”  
“Because we have company. Can you and Jax head home please?”  
“Who is the company babe?”  
“The Mayans…including their new prospect.”  
“Who is the new prospect?”  
“Eli.”  
“Well, that’s a fucking problem.”  
“Yeah. That was my thought too. Can you guys please come home?”  
“Yeah. Let me talk to Tig.”  
“He’s not here.”  
“Why isn’t he there?!”  
“Don’t yell at me. I had to kick him out.”  
“Why?!”  
Eli takes the phone and says:  
“Sasquatch. She said not to yell at her. She said Tig was a fucking asshole, and since he’s never been cruel to her, I would suspect that he tried something she was unhappy with. So instead of yelling at your pregnant old lady, maybe just get your obnoxiously large self home. Bring pretty boy with you.”

He hangs up the phone and hands it to me, saying:  
“Check your fucking messages V. Make sure Tig isn’t doing something stupid.”

I roll my eyes and am about to check the messages when the front door slams open and Tig walks in, gun drawn.  
“Tig…Put the gun down. The Mayans are our friends, remember?”  
“They are in your house in the middle of the night.”  
“They are waiting for Jax and Opie. I just talked to Ope, they’re on the way.”

I stand up and walk over to him.  
“Come on Tiggy, put the gun down. They left all theirs outside, they’ve been nothing but polite and apologetic since they got here. Put the gun down. Please.”

I put one of my hands on his cheek and the other on the hand holding the gun.  
“Please Tig.”  
“Fine.”

He puts the gun down on the counter and I say:  
“Eli? Can you come put this in the gun safe?”  
“That’s not necessary Veronica.”  
“Tig. I’d feel more comfortable if it were locked up. You’re not in the best headspace tonight.”  
He leans forward and rests his forehead against mine and says:  
“I’m so sorry baby.”  
“Yeah. I know.”  
“Forgive me?”

I step back from him and say:  
“Look at who you are talking to Tig, and really think about whether I can easily forgive you or not.”  
“I’m not Lee, Veronica. I would never…”  
“You would never…Okay, so where’s the line Tig? You had no problem kissing me against my will, shoving your tongue in my mouth without my permission…But I’m supposed to believe that you wouldn’t escalate that to Lee’s level? And which level? When he first started raping me when I was sixteen? Or the violent, damage causing rapes that I endured towards the end? Where’s the line Tig?!”  
“What do you mean, violent and damage causing?”  
“Talk to my Dad. I don’t want to discuss this with you.”

I walk away from Tig and go back to sitting in my chair. As I get comfortable I hear multiple motorcycles approach the house. A couple of seconds later Jax, Opie, Kozik, Chibs, and Happy walk in.   
“Guns on the counter. Don’t look at me like that, I’m not fucking playing with you.”

Chibs looks at me and says:  
“Someone’s in a mood tonight. Take it easy little one. Your heart can’t take you getting agitated.”  
“Yeah…Tell that to Tig.”

Opie comes over and says:  
“Baby, go to bed.”  
“Nope. Too many strangers in my house for that. You’re all stuck with me.”  
“We’re going to be talking business.”  
“I understand that, but if an old lady hearing it was going to be an issue, the conversation shouldn’t happen in her fucking living room in the middle of the night.”

Jax says:  
“She’s the future queen. We have no secrets from her.”

Opie picks me up, then sits in the chair with me on his lap. The rest of the guys find seats, and Jax looks at Marcus and says:  
“What’s going on man? Why show up at my house in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve?”  
“We need our shipment sooner than expected.”  
“Not possible.”  
“Why not?”  
“We don’t have it, so we can’t give it to you sooner.”

Marcus looks at me and says:  
“Maybe you can explain this to me, you’ve been reasonable the whole time we’ve been here.”  
“Sure, Marcus. SAMCRO is the middle man. They can’t give you guns they don’t have. It’s really quite simple, and you understood it just fine when my husband explained it to you. You just wanted to know if I really was in the loop or if Jax was just trying to save face after I talked back to Opie.”  
“You’re clever.”  
“Being clever wasn’t really required in this situation. But thanks.”

Jax says:  
“So, Alvarez…You knew we couldn’t give you your shipment early before you showed up here. So what’s the real purpose of your visit?”  
“I wanted to meet the future queen, and when we did our background on Weevil we noticed that he knew her.”

I say:  
“So you tested me earlier to see if I would lie to you.”  
“Yes. Of course. Our treaty with SAMCRO is new. I needed to make sure Jax’s old lady wasn’t going to derail it.”  
“I don’t like that Eli is patching Mayan.”  
“I figured. Especially considering the access he has to your home and family.”  
“Exactly.”  
“So I’m going to suggest that he prospect for SAMCRO instead.”  
“He doesn’t want to answer to Jax, Opie, or their Dads…Or my Dad. That’s part of the reason he chose the Mayans. I guarantee it.”

Eli says:  
“Why are we talking about me like I’m not here?”  
“Because we’re talking about you, not to you, dear. Keep up.”

Jax and Opie look at each other and at Chibs and Tig before Jax says:  
“We would accept Eli as a prospect. If that’s what he wanted.”  
Eli says:  
“And if it’s not?”  
Marcus says:  
“You’re welcome to stay with us, but it may affect your relationship with Veronica and her children.”

Eli looks at me and says:  
“Would it?”  
“Yeah, babe…Probably.”  
He looks at Marcus and then Jax and says:  
“Can I think about it?”  
Jax says:  
“Yeah. We’ve got a treaty in place right now. You can take some time.”

Marcus says:  
“We do have more business to discuss, but Veronica looks tired. Perhaps someone should take her to bed?”

Tig steps towards me and I say:  
“Don’t even think about touching me Tig.”

Kozik walks over to me and picks me up out of Opie’s arms.  
“I’ll stay with her until everyone’s gone.”  
Opie says:  
“Thanks man.”

As Kozik walks out of the room with me I hear Marcus say:  
“You don’t mind another man lying in bed with your old lady?”  
Opie laughs and says:  
“There are a select few that are allowed to. And Kozik’s practically her Dad.”

Kozik and I both lie down on my bed and he says:  
“What did Tig do? I’ve never seen you snap at him like that.”  
“He was having issues restraining his sexual thoughts. I told him to get out. He kissed me against my will, shoved his tongue in my mouth. I had to bite him to make him get off of me.”  
“That’s very unlike Tig.”  
“I know. I think the issue is that he had to help me get undressed because the dress had a zipper up the back. I mean, he’s helped me with that before, but, I don’t know. It was different tonight. Maybe he’s just been taking care of me too much.”  
“You think he’s gotten too attached?”  
“Yeah…maybe. I thought he loved me like you do, but apparently I was wrong.”  
“So we need to figure out someone else to stay with you.”  
“No. I don’t need anyone here.”

I hear Tig’s voice from the doorway say:  
“You are not going to be alone. No.”  
“It’s a good thing you aren’t in charge of me.”  
“You are an old lady in a delicate state with three kids. You are not going to be left alone. What if something happens?”

I stand up and walk over to him.  
“I can take care of myself Tig, and my heart is fine as long as I don’t get agitated. I don’t need a fucking babysitter.”

I start getting woozy and as everything turns black I say:  
“Crap.”

When I wake up, Dr. Knowles is standing next to my hospital bed.  
“You were doing so well, Veronica. What happened today?”  
“Got married, had a fight with a friend. Nothing too agitating.”  
“So you and Jax are married now?”  
“Yes.”  
“So your official last name is now?”  
“Winston-Teller.”  
“Okay. I’ll get that changed and add Jax as your next of kin.”  
“Thanks. Can you add Opie as my emergency contact too?”  
“Yup.”

She starts walking out of the room and turns around to say:  
“Oh, I should mention, you’re on official hospital bedrest until those babies are born. So get comfortable. You’re not going anywhere.”  
“What? I was doing well though. It was just an off day. Don’t make me spend months away from my kids Tara…Please.”  
“Who did you have the fight with?”  
“Tig.”  
“What was it about?”  
“Personal issues.”  
“Veronica.”  
“Dr. Knowles, you are my doctor, not my friend. The fact that Tig and I fought is medically relevant. What we fought about isn’t.”  
“I thought we were friendly, Veronica.”  
“Friendly? Sure. Friends? No.”  
“There’s a bunch of Sons and Mayans in the hallway. Should I get rid of them?”  
“No. They can come in.”

She leaves and soon my room is filled with bikers. I look at Jax and Opie and say:  
“Who is with the kids?”  
“Kozik and Happy.”  
“We’ve talked about Happy as a babysitter, my loves.”  
“Your Dad is there…That should keep him from trying to teach Ellie how to field dress a bear using one of her stuffed animals as a prop again.”  
“Ugh. I love him, but he’s damaged.”

I look around at everyone:  
“You didn’t all have to come.”  
Tig says:  
“Your heart stopped. You didn’t have a pulse.”  
“Oh…Well, that’s a little worse than I expected. I feel fine now though.”

Marcus says:  
“Can I ask what caused this?”  
“The heart issues?”  
“Yeah.”  
“I picked up a parasite when I had surgery in Peru.”  
“Why did you have surgery in Peru?”

Eli says:  
“Because she slit her fucking wrists and portions of her veins needed to be replaced.”

Marcus walks over to the bed and picks up my hand, looking at the scar.  
“Both wrists?”  
“Yes.”  
“How long ago?”  
“Six months…ish.”  
“You were pregnant then.”  
“Yes.”  
“And the blood loss didn’t hurt the babies?”  
“Not that we can tell so far.”  
“Why did you do it?”

Jax says:  
“You don’t have to tell him love.”  
“I didn’t think I did. But I’m going to.”

I look at Marcus and say:  
“Opie was in prison, and I thought I had lost Jax. It was an impulsive decision.”  
“And what’s to stop you from making another impulsive decision?”  
“Proper medication for my PTSD and therapy. Lots and lots of therapy.”  
“You’re eighteen…How do you possibly have PTSD?”  
“I was brutally raped on a daily basis by my mother’s boyfriend. As the months progressed he got more and more violent. I ran from my mom’s house to her ex-boyfriend — Kozik — one night. He counted 45 cuts on my body that Lee had made while he was trying to “convince” me to let him rape me. When I went back to my mom’s house a week or so later it was worse. The last time he almost killed me. Apparently that can cause PTSD.”  
“Jesus. Why didn’t you go to the club?”  
“He was the club. He was the president in Tacoma.”  
“And you trust SAMCRO after that?”  
“They’ve done nothing but protect me. Why wouldn’t I trust them?”

Eli mutters:  
“Yeah, if we want to ignore Opie physically assaulting you, and Clay strangling you…Yeah, they’ve done nothing but protect you.”  
“Eli. That is enough. You need to stop. You don’t know everything.”  
“I know enough. I saw the bruises.”  
“Eli, I love you, but get out.”

He starts to argue but Marcus says:  
“You heard her, prospect. Get out.”  
“Fine.”  
He walks over to me and kisses me before leaving. Once he’s out of the room, Marcus says:  
“Your husband and old man didn’t bat an eye at Weevil kissing you. Why?”  
“I kiss most people. They’ve just learned to deal with it.”

Lyla comes rushing in the room with Leo following slowly behind. Lyla climbs onto the bed with me and wraps herself around me.  
“Ronnie, you are in the hospital again.”  
“I know, Lyla. I’m fine love…And you, my dear, are drunk.”  
“Yes. Your wedding was fun. We need to have another party after those babies are born though.”  
“I agree. Maybe Leo should take you home, huh?”  
“Don’t want to leave you.”  
“La…It’s very early in the morning on Christmas. Go with Leo back to my house. Jax and Opie are coming too. Spend Christmas morning with our family…Piper’s already there. I’m fine.”

Leo says:  
“There’s a lot of bikers in here that don’t belong. I would feel more comfortable if the Mayans would leave.”

I roll my eyes and say:  
“That was not polite Deputy Chief.”  
I look at Marcus and say:  
“Please excuse Deputy Chief D’Amato, he’s normally much more polite than this.”

I look at Leo and say:  
“Leo, take Lyla home.”  
“Fine.”  
He walks over to the bed and leans over Lyla to whisper:  
“I love you.”  
“I love you too Leo.”  
I kiss him and he picks up Lyla and walks out of the room. I look at Jax and Opie and say:  
“Jax, Ope…Go home. Spend Christmas morning with the kids then go over to Gemma’s as planned. There’s no sense in you being here. I’m fine. Please don’t argue.”

Opie says:  
“Call Clarence.”  
“No. He has small kids. If I call him he will come here and not leave my side. I won’t make him miss Christmas with his family.”  
“I’ll call him.”  
“He is not your employee. He is mine. He will not follow your instructions.”  
“I’m not leaving you here unprotected.”  
“No-one is going to hurt me.”

Tig says:  
“I’ll stay with her. My kids don’t speak to me, so I’m not missing out on much.”

Jax looks at me and says:  
“It’s your call, baby.”  
“It’s fine. Leave Tig with me. The rest of you, go. Please.”

Marcus tells his guys to leave and then leans over and kisses my hand.  
“Feel better, Veronica. I look forward to speaking to you again.”  
“Thank you. Goodbye, Marcus.”

After he leaves the room, Chibs walks over to me and says:  
“I don’t think you appreciate how strange that was little one. The president of a rival club does not usually get a face-to-face with an old lady, let alone a future queen.”  
“He’s not a rival right now. We have a treaty, remember?”  
“Still…This is not done.”  
“Two club members sharing one old lady doesn’t happen either. Things change. Deal with it.”  
“You’re going to drag us into the future kicking and screaming aren’t you?”  
“Yup. Change isn’t always a bad thing Chibs.”

He shakes his head and leans over me to kiss my cheek before saying:  
“Merry Christmas little one.”  
“Merry Christmas Chibs.”  
He walks out of the room and I hold out my hands to Jax and Opie.  
“Come here my loves.”  
When they walk over to me I say:  
“I’m okay. I promise. Go have Christmas with the kids. I’m going to try to convince Tara to let me come home.”  
“An argument with Tig is what caused this. Are you sure you are okay with him here?”  
“Yes. Tig had a bad moment. He’d never actually hurt me. I’m fine with him here.”

Opie says:  
“Okay, babe. Get some sleep. I’ll come back later. I love you.”  
“I love you.”  
He leans down and kisses me before looking at Tig and saying:  
“If you upset my old lady again I will beat the shit out of you.”  
“I know, brother. I didn’t mean to. I would never hurt her.”

Opie leaves the room and Jax says:  
“Merry Christmas, wife.”  
“Pretty crappy first day of marriage, huh?”  
“We’ll make up for it. I love you.”  
“I love you, husband.”  
He bends down and kisses me before looking at Tig and saying:  
“You call me if anything happens.”  
“Of course.”  
Jax walks out of the room and Tig sinks down into the chair next to my bed. He reaches out and holds my hand with both of his and leans forward until his forehead is resting on the bed next to me.  
“I’m so sorry sweetheart.”  
“I know.”  
I shift so I’m on my side facing him and I run the fingers of the hand he isn’t holding through his hair.   
“Tig…You can’t do that again, okay? It scared me.”  
“Veronica, I meant what I said before…I would never hurt you. I would never force myself on you.”  
“Come here.”

I move over on the bed to make room for him. He takes off his shoes and cut and climbs onto the bed, our noses practically touching.  
“Tig…You are one of the few people in the world that I completely trust. But when I’m already tired, sick, and feeling vulnerable I need to be able to trust you to protect me…Even more than usual. And you didn’t do that tonight.”

He puts his hand on my cheek and says:  
“I’m sorry. I’ll do better. Go to sleep Ronnie.”  
“You’re not going to leave…right?”  
“You’re stuck with me kid.”  
“Good.”

I lean in and kiss him softly and allow him to deepen the kiss when he tries. He slides the hand that’s on my cheek into my hair and holds me in place so I can’t break the kiss. I keep kissing him, putting my hand on his neck and running my thumb along his jaw. When he finally pulls back he says:  
“So you are okay with kissing me.”  
“Yes. Just not after I’ve already told you multiple times to get out. I just need to feel safe, Tig, and I didn’t earlier. But…”  
“But what?”  
“We all thought you loved me like a daughter…How did we miss you wanting to fuck me?”  
“I hide it well…Usually. Just like I do with Gemma.”  
“Yeah, that’s another thing…Me and Gemma. You just have a thing for queens?”  
“Scary women. I have a thing for scary women.”  
“Ah. You know you can’t kiss me in front of people right? No more than the usual chaste kisses Gemma and I always give the guys.”  
“I know.”  
“And you know I will never fuck you…right? Because I won’t, Tiggy.”  
“I know. I can live with that. Just please don’t shut me out. I like being with you and the kids. I like being the one to come hang out with you guys when Jax and Ope can’t be there.”  
“I’m not going to shut you out, but boundaries have to be defined. I’m going to hire someone to help me around the house, and I will get CW to assign a guard rotation to me. You can still come and go as you please like the rest of the guys, but you can’t nap with me anymore.”  
“But it helps you.”  
“Yeah. It does. But Tig…”  
“I know. I got too comfortable being near you.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Okay. Go to sleep sweetheart.”  
“Tig…”  
“Yeah. I’ll sit in the chair.”  
“Thank you. Can you message Ope and get him to bring me the photo albums when he comes? I only have four. They’re on the bookcase.”  
“Yup.”  
“Thanks.”

He leans in and kisses me again, just our normal type of kiss, a quick lip brush, before getting off the bed. I fall asleep and when I wake up again, Tig is gone and Opie is lying on the bed staring at me.   
“Hi Ope.”  
“Hi baby. How are you feeling?”  
“Fine. I don’t think I need to be here for the next 3 months. Help me convince Tara.”  
“She’s already been convinced. Clarence is here and he brought Abuelita with him. She’s going to stay with us so you can come home. Tig told me you said you were going to hire someone to help around the house and get Clarence to assign a guard rotation to you. Do you not trust the guys?”  
“I trust them fine, but Tig got too attached, too comfortable. It’s better if I’m paying people to protect me.”  
“What did he do?”  
“It’s not important. He won’t do it again, and I’ve set boundaries with him. No more naps.”

He growls at me and says:  
“What did he do?”  
“It’s not important. Babe, I promise, if it was important I would tell you.”  
“I need to know.”  
“You don’t, because I’m fine and I like Tig alive.”  
“So he wanted to fuck you.”  
“Yes. Partially. Everything’s fine. I’ve made it clear to him that I will never fuck him. He’s okay. He won’t do anything again.”

I feel his fist clenching on my hip, so I run my fingers through his hair and say:  
“Don’t be mad love.”  
“No…I’m allowed to be pissed off about this.”  
“You’re allowed to be, but please don’t be. Opie, you being pissed off at Tig doesn’t help anything.”  
“You sure about that?”  
“Yes. Focus that energy elsewhere, babe.”  
“Like where? I’m not allowed to fuck my old lady.”  
“True. But you could kiss her.”  
“So high maintenance.”  
“Yes, god forbid I ask for some affection from the man I love. I know we can’t have sex, but honestly…”

He moves his hand from my hip to the side of my head, weaving his fingers through my hair.  
“Baby, I was just teasing. I love kissing you. You know that. I just miss being able to show you how much I love you.”  
“Opie…Are you insane? I don’t need to have sex with you to know how much you love me. I feel it every time you look at me, every time you touch me, every time we cuddle on the couch or lie like this in bed. You radiate your love for me…You always have.”

His eyes get soft and he brushes his thumb over my cheekbone.  
“I love you so much Veronica. I always have.”  
“I love you.”  
He leans in and kisses me, deep and passionate. We stay like that, just kissing, until I hear a woman clear her throat. I slowly pull away from Opie and look towards the door.  
“Abuelita. You didn’t have to come. It’s Christmas, you have your grandkids and great-grandkids to worry about.”  
“Veronica…Tu eres mi familia. The grandkids are all old enough to take care of themselves. I will be moving here to be with you. Besides, Eli is here now too.”  
“Thank you, Abuelita.”

She walks over and sits in the chair next to the bed, and Opie says:  
“I should go back to the kids. You okay, babe?”  
“I’m fine, love. Give the kids kisses for me.”

He kisses me and then gets off of the bed.  
“Bye Mrs. Navarro.”  
She shakes her head and says:  
“You are one of my Veronica’s husbands, you may call me Abuelita.”  
“Thank you, Abuelita.”

As Opie walks out of the room, Marcus and Eli walk in. Opie turns and looks at me. I say:  
“I’m fine, Ope.”  
Marcus says:  
“Nothing will happen to your old lady while I am here, man.”  
“Yeah, okay.”

I look at Marcus and say:  
“It’s Christmas, shouldn’t you be at home with your family?”  
“How do you know I have a family?”  
“Your face got all soft like only a father’s does when you saw Ellie last night, and you were concerned about the wellbeing of my unborn children when we were discussing my suicide attempt.”  
“Have you considered a career as a detective?”  
“My step-father is a sheriff. I picked up a few things over the years.”

Eli says:  
“She spent a lot of time with a deputy too…He later became sheriff and is her son’s biological father.”  
Abuelita says:  
“Eli. Do not speak out of turn. Jax is Abel’s father. Don Lamb is dead.”  
“It’s okay, Abuelita. Eli just likes to remind me that he knows everything.”

Marcus walks over to Abuelita, holds out his hand, and says:  
“Marcus Alvarez. President of the Mayans.”  
Abuelita shakes his hand and says:  
“Lettie Navarro. Grandmother.”  
“So why does Veronica, who is not your grand-daughter, call you Abuelita?”  
“I’ve known Veronica since she was seven. She and her kids are my family.”

Marcus looks at me and I say:  
“No. Eli’s patch will not affect my relationship with Abuelita. She knows how to keep family secrets to herself.”  
“Good. I would hate for you to lose family. Eli, take your grandmother home.”

Eli looks at me before responding to Marcus.  
“I’m fine, Eli. Marcus won’t hurt me. I think the guys and the kids are going to be at Gemma’s though. But if you could take Abuelita to my house and help her get settled in the guest room, that would be wonderful.”  
“Okay. Let’s go, Abuelita.”

Abuelita looks at me and says:  
“Are you sure, Veronica?”  
“Yes. I’m fine. Thank you for coming from Neptune to take care of me.”  
“Always, my darling.”  
She gets up and kisses my forehead before leaving the room with Eli. 

I sit my bed up and Marcus comes over and fixes my pillows behind my back.   
“Thank you. So, why are you back?”  
“Explain how you can trust SAMCRO when the president of Tacoma hurt you so badly.”  
“Why do you need me to explain that?”  
“I need to know that I can trust them.”  
“And a psychologically damaged teenage girl is going to be the tipping point for you?”  
“Maybe not the tipping point, but definitely a data point.”  
“Sit down. I’ll tell you my tale of woe. You can decide for yourself if I should trust SAMCRO. Pass me the blue photo album.”

He picks up the photo album and hands it to me. I open it and pass it back to him. It’s the album of birthday pictures.   
“The man with me is Don…When I was fifteen my best friend was murdered. Don became sheriff when my step-dad, Keith blamed Lilly’s dad for her death. I moved to Seattle with my mom. About a month after I moved, Don came to Seattle to get a final statement from me about Lilly’s murder. He followed me to a party, got me drunk, convinced me to go back to his hotel room, and raped me. I got pregnant with my son Abel. I met Jax at the doctor’s office a few days later. We dated my whole pregnancy. He took care of me, offered to be listed as Abel’s dad, then brought Abel back to Charming with him when Clay made him leave Tacoma. The plan was always for me to move here to be with them when I graduated from high school.”  
“So what happened?”  
“Life doesn’t always go according to plan.”  
I shrug and continue:  
“My mom started dating Lee right after Jax left. She was hoping he’d like her enough to make her his old lady. But, that’s not what happened. My mom was a drunk, and every time she’d pass out, which was every night, Lee would come in my room and rape me. If I didn’t cooperate to his liking, he’d hurt me. As the months went on, he would hurt me more each time. My mom finally caught him fucking someone else and she dumped him. When she got somewhat sober I told her what he had done to me. She blamed me. She said that I must have seduced him and it was my fault that he didn’t think she was good enough to be an old lady. She drove drunk a few days later and wrapped the car around a pole. She died.”

He just looks at me and so I continue:  
“I had to go back to Neptune because I was only seventeen. Don started showing up places, talking about how he wanted to fuck me again, and then I got a text from Lee saying he had heard about my mother’s death and asking where I was. I messaged Kozik, and he called Clay. Clay called Lee to come here and sent Jax and Opie to Neptune to protect me. Once Lee got here, Clay assured me he wouldn’t bother me anymore, and he hasn’t. When Jax and Ope got to Neptune I told Jax about what actually happened with Don for the first time.”  
“He killed him, didn’t he?”  
“He was angry and he’s exceptionally overprotective. I’m not sure what happened to Don.”

“So you trust SAMCRO because they stepped up when you needed them, and you love Jax and Opie.”  
“I love them all. I mean, obviously not the same way I love Jax and Ope, but I love them all. They are my family.”  
“How much do you trust Eli?”  
“Completely. Why?”  
“I don’t think he’s fully invested in patching in. To Mayans or Sons.”  
“I can talk to him if you’d like.”  
“I would appreciate that. If he decides to bow out now before he knows too much, I can just let him walk away, but the longer he’s in the more he knows…”  
“And then you’d have to kill him.”  
“Yes. I’d rather not do that. I’m actually quite fond of him.”  
“I am too. I’d like him to stay breathing.”

He closes the photo album he’s holding and says:  
“Do you have any pictures of you and Eli?”  
“Yeah. Brown photo album.”  
He grabs it and passes it to me. I flip through it to the start of the pictures of me and Eli and hand it back to him.  
“Wow. You two were adorable.”  
“Yes. We were.”

I hear Clay’s voice from the doorway saying:  
“Well, this is cozy.”  
“Hey, Clay. What are you doing here?”  
“Bringing Christmas dinner to my daughter-in-law. I didn’t expect you to have Alvarez here keeping you company.”  
“Oh, Marcus and I are old friends. Come give me a hug.”

He walks over and puts the plate he’s carrying down on the table and leans down to hug me and give me a kiss. When he stands back up to his full height, Marcus closes the photo album and says:  
“Veronica, if you could talk to him sooner rather than later, I would appreciate it. I just need to know if he’s actually invested or not.”  
“Of course. I’ll talk to him later today.”  
“Thank you. I appreciate it. Let your husband know I will call him tomorrow to finish our discussion.”  
“Okay. Bye Marcus.”

He kisses my hand again and walks out. Clay walks around the bed and sits in the chair Marcus just vacated.  
“Why was he here, Veronica?”  
“He needs me to talk to Eli for him. Find out if he’s serious about patching in. Marcus thinks Eli might be making a rash decision and he’s fond of him, so he’d rather not have to kill him.”  
“Presidents of rival clubs don’t get sit-downs with our old ladies. Especially not without a patched member present.”  
“Marcus was at the house last night to talk to Jax when I collapsed. He came to the hospital last night to make sure I was okay and came back today to talk to me about Eli. It’s not a big deal.”  
“If it was just about Eli he could have talked to Jax or Opie. Why did he need to talk to you, alone?”  
“He’s not entirely sure he can trust SAMCRO. He wanted to know why I did.”  
“And what did you tell him?”  
“The truth. That I trust SAMCRO because they take care of me. Because I love them. Because they are my family.”  
“Good girl.”  
“What? Did you expect me to say something stupid and blow up your agreement with the Mayans? I’m not some dumb crow-eater Clay. I’m not stupid, and am perfectly capable of playing mental chess with your rivals and current allies.”

He laughs and says:  
“You’re right. You’re the smartest of all of us. You should be president.”  
“No thanks, being an outlaw isn’t for me. I’ll stick to being an old lady.”  
“You are going to make a fine queen one day.”  
“Thank you. Gemma is an excellent teacher.”  
“We both know that isn’t true. I love her, but she’s desperate to hold on to that title. She won’t help you take it from her.”  
“What about you? How desperate are you to hold on to your title? I know your hands are in rough shape. You have trouble holding the book at story time some days. And I know the rule is if you can’t ride, you can’t vote. So how much longer do you think you’ll be able to ride? This is me asking as someone who loves you, not the VP’s wife.”  
“What I say to you is between us?”  
“Of course.”  
“My hands are bad. I’ll probably only get a couple more years out of them. I’m going to start the transfer of power to Jax, but I want to make sure he’s ready to make the hard decisions.”  
“You don’t think he’s ready?”  
“I think he’s well on his way to being ready, and that’s because of you. But I need your help to convince him not to make Opie his VP.”  
“Because you don’t want me to have the level of influence I have over the two of them over both the president and vice president. Tig shouldn’t be VP then either.”  
“Tig wants to fuck you?”  
“That’s what our argument was about last night. Bobby or Chibs should be VP. They balance Jax’s more…irrational behaviour.”  
“That’s probably a good choice. Start working on Jax now, just gentle nudges, without sharing what we’ve talked about. Talk to Opie too, make him understand so he doesn’t get pissed. The two of them have always planned on being number one and two.”  
“I am perfectly capable of manipulating my husbands, Clay.”  
“I know. That’s why Opie can’t be vice-president. Talk to me about Tig. What happened last night?”  
“He had to help me get undressed, which he’s done before without issue, but last night…He was different.”  
“Different how?”  
“Normally when he has to unzip my dress he does it as quickly as possible with as little touching as possible. Last night he unzipped the dress really slowly and ran the fingers of his other hand along my bare back as the zipper went down. He was talking about how much he loves me, how soft I am, how good I smelled…I told him to leave. I told him to get out four times before he grabbed me and kissed me. He held me in place and shoved his tongue in my mouth. I had to bite him to make him let me go. He apologized instantly, but I made him leave. He came back when Marcus and his boys were there.”  
“Veronica…Why didn’t you tell Jax and Opie?”  
“I told Tig I wouldn’t tell the club. He apologized.”  
“I don’t fucking care if he apologized.”  
“Clay…I don’t want Tig hurt. He’s normally very good at controlling his feelings…So much so that we all thought he loved me like a daughter.”  
“I have been putting up with him lusting after my wife for almost 30 years. I am not going to stand for him lusting after my daughter-in-law too.”  
“Clay, you can’t control who people lust after. As long as he doesn’t try to act on it again, I don’t really care.”  
“Well, you are more forgiving than I am baby.”

I shake my head and say:  
“Don’t hurt him too badly.”

Clay pulls out his phone and sends a message.  
“Who did you message?”  
“All the guys.”  
“Why?”  
“Church.”  
“Nothing Tig did justifies any type of vote, Clay.”  
“No vote. But we do need to discuss your ex-boyfriend prospecting for the Mayans, and I think your husbands, your Dad, and your other father-in-law should all be made aware of Tig’s feelings.”  
“I told him I wouldn’t tell the club. Can’t it just stay between us?”  
“No. He was here alone with you earlier. What happened?”  
“He apologized again.”  
“What else?”  
“I let him kiss me — don’t look at me like that, everyone freaking kisses me. Then I told him I will never fuck him, and he’s not allowed to show up for naps anymore. Oh, and I’ll be getting Clarence to provide a security detail from now on.”  
“Why would you let him kiss you?”  
“Because it’s the one surefire way to make him understand that regardless of his mistake I still love him. That I’m not scared of him. Besides, seriously…Juice kisses me, Leo kisses me, Lyla kisses me, Logan, Dick, Eli, Meg, Mac…they all kiss me. It’s not like it’s an intimate act reserved for my husbands.”

Dr. Knowles walks in then and Clay says:  
“I need to go meet the guys. Eat your dinner little girl.”  
“Clay…Don’t hurt him.”  
“I won’t hurt him too badly, but he’s getting hit Veronica. There’s no way he gets away with this without getting hit.”

He leans over me and kisses my cheek before leaving the room.

Tara comes over and moves my table so I can eat my dinner and then she sits in the chair next to me.  
“Clay loves you. I didn’t think he was capable of loving anyone but Gemma.”  
I laugh and say:  
“You know, I actually accused him of that once…Yeah, he seems to love me. He definitely loves his grandkids.”  
“When can I go home, Tara?”  
“Tomorrow morning. Your heart is actually looking really healthy, so hopefully this was a one-time set back. You need less stress in your life though.”

I look at her and blink. She laughs and says:  
“I know. But maybe less Sons at your house all the time?”  
“Yeah…I’m getting help from outside the club, so hopefully that will help.”  
“Speaking of which, Clarence is here. Want me to send him in?”  
“Please.”  
“I’d like to start coming to see you every couple of days to monitor your heart and the babies. You live a high-stress life, and twins are generally early.”  
“Okay. Come by anytime.”

She stands up and walks towards the door before turning around and saying:  
“I’m not going to try to take him from you. You know that right? You can trust me to be your doctor, to be your friend. I can see how much he loves you.”  
“But he is why you came back, right?”  
“I was fleeing an abusive relationship…but yeah, Jax was definitely the reason I came back to Charming.”  
“I’m sorry, Tara.”  
“Don’t apologize for falling in love, Veronica. He’s happy with you. He was never this happy when we were together. You make him a better man while at the same time accepting him as he is. That’s a fine line to walk and I salute you for it. And you make a much better old lady than I would have.”  
“Thank you Tara.”  
“I’ll send Clarence in.”

She leaves the room and a moment later Clarence walks in.  
“CW? Can I have the file on Tara please?”  
“I was wondering when you were going to ask for that.”

He hands me a file as he sits down in the chair and I skim through it.  
“Not much here on her ex.”  
“He’s ATF. Not much to know.”  
“She says he was abusive.”  
“No record of that, but there isn’t always.”  
“What about this restraining order?”  
“I haven’t looked into it. Would you like me to?”  
“Yeah. Get me everything you can find on that order and on Tara’s ex. Him being ATF worries me.”  
“You think he’ll show up here and cause issues for the club.”  
“I think it’s a possibility. I just want to be prepared. Knowledge is power.”

He looks at me with a fond look on his face.  
“What CW?”  
“You are good at this.”  
“What? Being nosy?”  
“Being an investigator. Thinking like an investigator.”  
I shrug.  
“I thought about taking my P.I. exam, but Jax and Opie have an issue with the idea of me doing that for a living. Too dangerous.”  
“Take the P.I. exam, then work as a lead investigator for me. You’d be able to work from home, putting pieces together while others go out and take all the risks.”  
“Really?”  
“Yes. You’ve got the mind for this Veronica. And despite how much I’d like to, I can’t make it so you can be a lawyer without severing all your ties with Jax and Opie.”  
“I know I can’t be a lawyer. I’ve made peace with it. The guys haven’t. They blame themselves. They don’t accept that I chose my life knowing that not being a lawyer was a consequence of that choice.”  
“Come work for me after graduation, Veronica. You’re eighteen, so you can take the exam anytime.”  
“How much investigative work could there possibly be working for Kane Software?”  
“I am no longer an employee of Kane Software, I am now a contractor. I have started my own private security company. Come work for me.”  
“I will think about it.”  
“Talk to Jax and Opie. Keep them involved in your decision process. It’ll make them feel better about your choice.”  
“I know. Can we talk about getting me a security detail?”  
“I’ve chosen some guys that I think will work. Take a look at their files and make your choices. Let me know tonight and the detail will start tomorrow morning.”

He hands me a stack of six files.   
“Choose three. I think they’ll all work, taking into consideration your lifestyle and the personalities involved. The file on top is my top pick for your daytime guard.”  
“Thanks Clarence.”  
“No problem sweetheart.”

He stands up and kisses the top of my head before leaving the room. I see Tara in the hallway and I say:  
“Hey, Tara? You taking a dinner break anytime soon?”  
“Actually, I was just thinking that I should eat.”  
“You want to bring your dinner in here and eat with me? I have some questions.”  
“Sure. I’ll be right back.”

I crisscross my legs in front of me on the bed and pull the table closer to me so there is room for Tara on the foot of my bed, then I put the photo albums in the chair so there’s room on the table for her food. While I wait for her, I open the top file in the security team stack. When I see the name and the picture, I mutter disbelievingly:  
“Felix?”  
I shake my head and put his file off to the side before opening the next one. This guy is an ex-marine in his early thirties. I’m reading through the file when Tara comes in. She sits on the end of the bed, her legs crisscrossed in front of her, and puts her lunch on the table.  
“What are you reading?”  
“Personnel file on a potential member of my security team.”  
“Seem promising?”  
“Ex-Marine…Seems like he’d get along with Jax and Opie, which is always a difficulty."

I close the file and add it to Felix’s. I set aside the other files and pick up Tara’s.   
“Want to tell me about your ex? The ATF agent?”  
“How did you? You have a file on me?”  
“My head of security has files on everyone in my life.”  
“My ex was abusive. When I left him he started stalking me. I filed a restraining order, and when he wouldn’t abide by it I came home.”  
“Potentially bringing your stalker ATF agent ex to Charming.”  
“That probably wasn’t the best move, but I was scared. I thought if he followed me here that Jax would protect me.”  
“You knew that if Jax found out this guy hurt you, he’d kill him.”  
“Yes.”  
“Has he followed you?”  
“I don’t think so.”  
“Give me a second.”

I pick up my phone and I call Leo. I put it on speaker when he answers.  
“Hey babe.”  
“Hey, have any ATF agents shown up in town?”  
“One. He wasn’t here for the club though, so I didn’t mention it.”  
“Okay, Leo? Anytime ATF shows up, you tell us. Why did this guy say he’s here?”  
“He’s looking for his ex. She’s a doctor, recently moved here.”  
“Did he tell you where he’s staying?”  
“Crappy hotel on the edge of town. I’ll text you the information.”  
“Thanks love.”  
“You still in the hospital?”  
“Yeah. I go home tomorrow.”  
“Can I come for story time tomorrow then?”  
“And nap time?”  
“No Tig?”  
“I’ll explain tomorrow.”  
“Yeah, I’d love to come for nap time.”  
“Well then, I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you too.”

I hang up and look at Tara.   
“He’s here. What do you want me to do?”  
“I want him gone.”  
“I can handle that. Are you sure?”  
“Yes. Are you going to tell Jax?”  
“No. I’m going to call Clarence, and you and I are never going to breathe a word of this to Jax or Opie.”  
“Okay.”

I dial Clarence’s number and put it on speaker as I wait for him to answer.  
“Veronica?”  
“CW, how do you feel about exercising the more…illegal side of your skill set?”  
“Just fine. Who needs to die?”  
“An ATF agent.”  
“Veronica…”  
“He is Tara’s abusive ex. He followed her here.”  
“Where is he staying?”  
“I’ll send you a text with that information.”  
“And we’re not telling Jax and Opie?”  
“It has nothing to do with them.”  
“You’re the boss, sweetheart.”  
“Thanks, CW.”

I hang up and then forward the text from Leo to Clarence. Tara looks at me and says:  
“Your head of security is kind of scary, Veronica.”  
“His skill set is impressive.”  
“He doesn’t mind you asking him to kill people?”  
“He’s ex-Mossad. I think he enjoys it.”  
“You didn’t even blink. It was so easy for you.”  
“I have no emotional connection to this guy. Should I cry? Would that make it easier on anyone?”  
“No…Just, you are better suited to the MC life than I thought.”  
“Jax says I need to spend less time with Gemma.”  
“He’s probably right.”  
“Gemma and porn stars…These are my female associates at the moment. I’ll get softer again now that Abuelita is here.”  
“You call your grandma Abuelita?”  
“She’s not my grandma. She’s my friend’s grandmother. I’ve known her since I was seven. The kids and I get to call her Abuelita.”

I reach over and pick up the brown photo album and flip to pictures of Eli and me. I hand it to her and say:  
“This was Eli and I when we were little.”  
“So adorable…Holy crap.”

Eli walks in behind her and says:  
“Excuse me, I was a badass. Not adorable.”  
“You were adorable, Eli.”  
He walks over and kisses me.  
“How long did Marcus stay earlier?”  
“A while. He wants me to talk to you. Move the photo albums and sit down. I’ll get to you in a minute.”

I look at Tara and she’s flipping through the photo album.   
“The first half of this, who is it?”  
“Abel’s biological father.”

I reach for the photo album of the last summer with Lilly. I open it to the beginning of the pictures of Don and I and hand it to Tara. She looks at the pictures and says:  
“Holy hell he was beautiful. And Jesus, he loved you.”  
“Yeah.”

Eli mutters:  
“Too bad their son was conceived when he raped V.”  
“Eli. You need to stop that. I am trying really hard to block out what Don did to me. To remember the good things about him. Abel looks just like him. I can’t focus on the one bad night instead of the six good years. Please.”  
“You watched the video, V! You know exactly what he did to you. How can you ever forgive him for that?”  
“He’s dead Eli! Hating him does me no good, and it has the potential to hurt Abel as he gets older. And how the hell do you know what the video shows?”  
“…I watched it.”  
“You watched the video of my rape? What the fuck is wrong with you?”  
“I needed to know.”  
“No you fucking didn’t! I didn’t even want Jax and Opie to watch it and they are my husbands.”  
“I am your friend. I love you.”  
“That doesn’t mean you need to watch the video of my rape. Unless you got off on it. Did you enjoy listening to me cry and beg and scream in pain, Eli?”  
“V…You’re not being fair.”

Tara says:  
“I think she’s being perfectly fair. You invaded her privacy by watching that video. You had no reason or right to do that.”

Before Eli can answer, she looks at me and says:  
“I should get back to work. I’ll come by and see you later. Eat your dinner.”  
“Yeah okay, Doc.”

She gets up and leaves the room and I start eating my dinner. Eli moves from the chair and sits on the edge of my bed, facing me. He takes my fork out of my hand and pushes the table away before grabbing my chin and turning my face towards him.  
“Watching that video broke my heart Veronica. Listening to you beg him to stop hurting you ripped my heart out of my chest. I love you. I love you so much it hurts. Seeing you in pain killed me. I’m sorry I watched the video. Especially that I watched it without your permission.”

I don’t say anything, so he says:  
“V…I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that happened to you. I’m sorry that’s how you lost your virginity. I’m sorry I watched the video without your permission. I’m sorry I walked away when I promised I wouldn’t. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when Lilly died, if I had been, maybe you wouldn’t have gone with Lianne.”  
“If I hadn’t gone with Lianne, I wouldn’t have Abel, or Ellie and Kenny. I wouldn’t have met Jax and Opie. If you hadn’t walked away from me that night, I wouldn’t have gotten back together with Jax, I wouldn’t have gotten together with Opie. I don’t regret the choices I made. Don’t you start regretting the choices you made.”

He leans in and kisses me. It’s deep and lustful, like the first few kisses we shared were. When we pull apart, his eyes are dark and hungry.  
“Eli.”  
“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll rein it in.”  
“Thank you. Can I eat my dinner now? We’ll talk about what Marcus wants us to talk about after? Or you could sit over there where Tara was and we can talk while I eat.”  
“I’ll move.”

He puts my table back and sits at the end of the bed. He watches as I take a couple of bites and then I put down the fork.  
“Marcus is concerned you are not really invested in being a Mayan, or a Son. He’s worried about you.”  
“I’m a little torn, yeah.”  
“Talk it through with me. What are you thinking?”  
“I’m thinking that I want to be a Son because I don’t want to lose you, but I want to be a Mayan because they’re all Latino.”  
“And you wouldn’t have to answer to Jax.”  
“That too. I know he’s your husband V, but I really hate the guy. Opie too.”  
“Babe, you don’t hate them despite the fact that they are my husbands. You hate them because they are.”  
“True.”  
“Forget me for a minute. Take me out of the equation. If I didn’t exist, if you didn’t love me, which group would you want to patch into? Which one feels like family?”  
“I can’t take you out of the equation.”  
“Yes you can. Try. Please.”

He closes his eyes and says:  
“The Mayans. They feel like family.”  
“So do that. Be all in though, none of this wishy-washy crap. Marcus really likes you, don’t make him kill you.”  
“But…I don’t want to lose you and the kids.”  
“You won’t. You aren’t going to lose us, Eli. Your unlimited access to our house will just change, that’s all, love. No more business talk in front of you. Right now we have a treaty with the Mayans, so we don’t need to adjust more than that. In the future, when that changes, and it will, we’ll have to adjust how you see the kids. We’ll make it work, Eli. You are our family.”  
“Will SAMCRO agree with that assessment?”  
“That you can be a Mayan and still be in my life? I’ll convince them.”  
“I guess I should go talk to Marcus.”  
“Yeah, you should. Tell him I’m getting out of the hospital in the morning, so if he wants to talk to me again he’ll have to come by the house.”  
“I’ll let him know. Can I kiss you goodbye?”  
“One of our normal kisses or one of those ones you gave me earlier, the ‘I’d really like to fuck you right now’ kisses?”  
“I always want to fuck you. I got to twice and haven’t stopped thinking about it since.”  
“You need a girlfriend Eli.”  
“Clearly.”  
“Come here.”

He walks over so he’s standing next to me and I reach out and grab his shirt collar and pull him towards me. I kiss him and moan against his mouth when he deepens the kiss. When we pull apart he says:  
“Jesus, Veronica. One of these days you’re going to kill me.”

From the doorway, Jax says:  
“She won’t, but if you kiss my wife like that again, I will.”  
“You can’t kill him. He’s a Mayan. It’ll break the treaty.”  
“Fine. I won’t kill him. Eli, get the fuck out.”

Eli kisses my forehead and leaves the room. I go back to eating my dinner while Jax glares at me. My phone rings and it’s Clarence so I answer it.  
“Hey, CW.”  
“Hey, Veronica. It’s done.”  
“Thank you. I’ll let her know.”  
“Call me later with your security team picks.”  
“I have one now. I want Felix.”  
“I figured you would. He’ll be at the house when you get there tomorrow.”  
“Thanks, CW.”

I hang up and look at Jax.  
“Are you going to say something or just glare at me?”  
“You can’t be friends with Eli if he’s going to be a Mayan.”  
“Well, that’s just not true. I can be friends with whomever I damn well choose.”  
“Veronica! You are an old lady and will do as you’re told!”  
“No. I won’t.”  
He drops his voice to a low scary growl and his face is pure SoA Jax, all angry with no love in sight.  
“Yes, you will.”  
“Get out.”  
“I am your husband, you can’t kick me out of your room.”  
“Yes, I fucking can. Get out.”  
SoA Jax disappears and my Jax comes back as he says:  
“Ronnie…”  
“No. Please just go Jax.”

His face drops and he says:  
“Please don’t make me leave.”  
“You promised you wouldn’t be SoA Jax with me. But you just did. I don’t want you here.”  
“Fine. I’ll send Opie.”  
“No. Just leave me alone.”  
“You don’t want Ope either?”  
“I just want to be alone.”  
“Fine.”  
He turns around to leave and then quietly says:  
“I love you.”

Once he leaves the room, I mutter:  
“I love you too.”

I push my table away from the bed and lie my bed back down, pulling the pillows so they are under my head instead of my back. I press the button to turn off the light and curl up on my side before I cry myself to sleep.


	16. Day After Christmas

I wake up to the feeling of someone climbing into bed with me and wrapping their arms around me. I stiffen up because I don’t know who it is.   
“It’s just me babe.”  
“Ope…”  
I relax into his arms and he says:  
“Go back to sleep baby.”  
I drift off to sleep with him kissing the back of my neck. When I wake up next it’s morning and I’ve rolled over so I’m facing Opie, our noses pressed together. He’s still sleeping, so I stare at him for a minute, just enjoying the peace. I run my fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his face before I shift slightly to kiss him. He deepens the kiss as he wakes up and tangles his fingers in my hair as he pulls me closer to him. I can feel him harden against me, and I pull away slightly and say:  
“Ope…”  
“I know, baby. I just want you.”  
“I want you too. But Tara will be really pissed if I start ignoring her now.”  
“What if we just do the whole slow and gentle thing? That shouldn’t bother your heart, right?”  
“Hey, I’m on board babe, but the Doc would not agree.”

Tara walks in then and says:  
“What wouldn’t I agree with?”  
“Us ignoring your no sex rule.”  
“Oh. Your heart should be good. Just gentle, love. You don’t want to go into labour too early. And no sex in the hospital.”

Opie grins and says:  
“Thanks Doc.”  
I roll my eyes and say:  
“Yeah, thanks Doc.”

Tara laughs and says:  
“You can go home love.”  
“Thanks, oh…and that thing we talked about last night? It’s done.”

She walks over to me and hugs me.   
“Thank you.”  
“You’re welcome.”  
“I’ll come by and see you tomorrow, okay?”  
“Okay.”

She leaves the room and Opie gets out of bed.   
“Let’s go home baby.”

When we get home the house is empty, but there’s a note on the table from Abuelita saying she and Felix had taken the kids to Elliott Oswald’s house to ride horses. They wouldn’t be home for hours. I read the note and then pass it to Opie as I walk into the bedroom. I take off the pyjamas I’ve been wearing since I got taken to the hospital and step into the shower. Before I can start to wash my hair or body, Opie is in the shower with me.   
“Let me.”  
“Please.”  
He washes my hair and my back before turning me around and washing the rest of my body. I tangle my fingers in his hair and kiss him before saying:  
“Love me, Ope.”

He reaches past me and turns off the shower, then he picks me up and carries me out of the shower. He dries me off and then carries me to the bed. When he puts me down he kisses me and says:  
“Get on your hands and knees.”  
I partially listen, flipping over and getting up on my knees, but I bunch a pillow under my chest and lean on that instead of on my hands. He runs his fingers along my slit, rubbing my clit gently before sliding his fingers into me.  
“You’re so wet baby.”  
“Please, Ope. It’s been so long. Love me.”

He pulls his fingers out of me and grips my hips before sliding his cock into me. I moan as he does, it feels so good to have him inside me again. As he thrusts into me he says:  
“God, Veronica. I missed this.”  
“I missed this too. I love you so much.”

He keeps up a slow, gentle pace and reaches around my thigh to rub my clit. When I come it’s with a whimper, and he follows me over the edge moaning my name. He pulls out and we lie down on the bed, curled together. 

“You ready to talk about why you kicked Jax out last night?”  
“Not really.”

I stand up and walk over to the dresser, pulling clothes out and getting dressed.  
“Is he on a run?”  
“No. He stayed at the apartment last night.”  
“Why?”  
“He was upset.”  
“That’s not a reason to not sleep at home.”  
“Babe…”  
“Take me to the clubhouse.”  
“Veronica.”  
“Take me or I will drive myself Ope.”

He doesn’t move so I walk out of the bedroom and grab my purse from the kitchen counter before walking out of the house. I get in my car and drive to TM. When I park the car and get out, I start walking towards the clubhouse and before I get over there, Tig comes out and quickly walks towards me, wrapping his arms around me and saying:  
“Sweetheart, you don’t want to go in there. Please. Don’t do this to yourself.”  
“Has Bobby filed my marriage paperwork?”  
“No. With the holiday he was going to do it today.”  
“Tell him not to. Tell him to tear it up. And give Jax this.”  
I hand him my ring and walk away. I get in the car and drive to the new house’s construction site. I stare at the pits for a couple of minutes and then drive down an old driveway into the wooded area. I park the car, get out of the front seat and into the backseat, and lie down, staring out the sunroof at the trees.

I don’t know how long I’m there before my phone rings. I look at the caller ID and silence the phone before putting it down. It rings again, and when I look at the caller ID it says it’s Clay, so I answer it.  
“Hello?”  
“Veronica…”

That is Jax, not Clay. I hang up and decide to just not answer the phone anymore, so I turn it off before putting it down.

I must fall asleep while I’m lying there, because when I open my eyes again the sun is much higher in the sky. There’s a knock on the window and when I look, it’s Felix. I nod and he opens the door and helps me sit up.  
“V…are you trying to get me fired? My first day on the job and the girl I’m supposed to be protecting fucking takes off and no-one can find her for hours.”  
“You found me. I think that’s a point in your favour.”  
“No, I didn’t. Eli did. He figured out where you were and called me. You had us all worried. What happened?”

I just shake my head at him and start to cry. He wraps his arms around me and says:  
“Oh, V…What did Jax do?”  
“I don’t want to talk about it.”  
“Well, what do you want to do boss? He’s at home waiting for me to bring you back.”  
“Then I guess I need to go home, vato.”

I get out of the backseat and Felix helps me into the driver’s seat.  
“Can I trust you to go home, Veronica?”  
“Yes, Felix.”  
“Good. I’ll follow you.”

I drive home and park in the driveway. There’s a lot of bikes in the yard. When I don’t get out of the car, Felix opens my door and says:  
“Veronica, sweetheart? You actually have to go inside.”  
“I don’t want to. I want to get my kids and leave. I don’t want to be here.”  
“And yet? You are going to walk in that door and be the badass bitch we all know and fear. You are not Lianne. You are not going to run just because things get tough.”  
“Maybe I am her. Maybe I am my mother’s daughter, doomed to repeat her mistakes…Marry the wrong man, be a bad mom, run away, die tragically. Maybe that’s my fate.”  
“That’s bullshit.”  
“Is it though Felix? Really think about it. I don’t think it is.”  
“You are a great mom.”  
“You don’t know that. You haven’t spent any time with me and my kids together.”  
“But they are great kids, V.”  
“Maybe all the greatness of Ellie and Kenny came from Donna.”  
“How do you explain Abel?”  
“Gemma? Abuelita? I can’t take credit for him.”  
“I’m going to go get Abuelita. Give me your keys.”

I hand him my keys and he walks away. When the front door of the house opens next it’s not Felix or Abuelita that walks out, but Jax. I close my door and press the lock button before turning my body away from the door and closing my eyes. He bangs on my window and yells at me to open the door. I ignore him and so he keeps yelling until I hear another voice —it’s Juice — say:  
“Stop yelling at her.”  
“She’s being unreasonable.”  
“You cheated on her. She was in the hospital a day, a single day after you married her and you fucked a crow-eater. What the fuck is wrong with you?”  
“She told Bobby to tear up our marriage certificate. Not to file it. She gave Tig her ring to give to me.”  
“Do you blame her, man? Let me talk to her Jax.”  
“She’s crazy if she thinks she’s getting out of this marriage. The paperwork has been signed and filed. She is mine. She needs to get her ass in the house and be a good old lady. Crow-eaters come with the territory.”

I get out of the car and shove Jax.  
“You want to play that game? You want to tell me there’s no escape, that the papers were filed despite me saying not to file them? Fine, asshole, let’s play. I could pay my lawyers to dissolve the marriage…Or we could stay married, but we will never live together and you will never touch me again. And I will make sure to fuck every single available guy in this pathetic town, just so you have to know, everyday, that not only are you not fucking your wife, but also that everyone else is.”

He grabs my shoulders and shoves me back until he slams me into the side of my car.  
“You wouldn’t.”  
“Fucking try me Jax.”  
“You kicked me out last night.”  
“Because you fucking scared me! You promised me you wouldn’t be scary SoA Jax with me, but you were last night. When I was in the hospital, Jax. I kicked you out because you scared me, and then I cried myself to sleep. In the hospital, alone. And while I was doing that, you were fucking someone else. You don’t think I have the right to be upset about that?”  
“I didn’t mean to scare you.”  
“Whether you meant to or not, you did. You want me to go inside? Fine. I’ll go inside. But you aren’t coming in. Whether we are legally married or not is irrelevant…You knew how I would feel about you cheating on me. We just fucking went through this. You did it anyway. I can’t…Jax, I can’t…We’re done. I will find a house for the kids and me to move into until our house’s construction is done. Until then, please stay somewhere else. The apartment or Opie’s.”  
“You said the kids and you…What about Ope?”  
“He knew you cheated and didn’t tell me. He protected you. That doesn’t work for me either.”  
“You’re kicking him out too?”  
“Yes.”  
“All the guys knew I cheated. None of them said anything. You going to cut out your entire support circle?”  
“Tig told me. He stopped me from going in the clubhouse. He protected me instead of you. Now let go of me.”

He lets go and steps back.  
“Veronica, please don’t do this.”  
“You did this. You wanna know what’s really funny about all this? If you had just waited, like, 8 hours you could’ve fucked me instead of some whore. But no, Jax had to get pissy and make a fucking rash decision.”  
“You’re not allowed to have sex until the babies come.”  
“Doc gave me clearance this morning.”

I walk away from him, into the house. When I get inside I say:  
“If you are not Felix, Abuelita, or my children, please get out.”  
The guys all look like they are about to argue with me, so I just glare at them until they stand up. Clay walks over to me and says:  
“He made a stupid decision. Don’t blame the whole club for it.”  
“The whole club made the decision to not tell me. The only one of you I’m not pissed at right now is Tig. Get out of my house.”

Opie is still sitting on the couch so I look at him and say:  
“You too. Out.”  
“You’re kicking me out because he cheated?”  
“I’m kicking you out because you knew he cheated and didn’t fucking tell me.”  
“I didn’t lie to you, I just didn’t say anything.”  
“A lie of omission is still a lie! Get out.”  
“Veronica, don’t do this.”  
“Get out.”

Eventually they all leave the house, but they’re still outside when another motorcycle pulls up. I hear Clay yell:  
“This is your fault. She was perfectly reasonable until you decided you needed to be friends with her.”

I open the front door and say:  
“Clay how exactly is it Marcus’s fault that your son put his cock somewhere it didn’t belong and then you all chose not to tell me about it? Go away. All of you.”

Marcus looks at Jax in disbelief and says:  
“Seriously, vato? You just got this amazing girl to marry you, she’s pregnant with your babies, and 24 hours after the wedding, while she’s in the hospital, you cheat on her? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Before Jax can answer, Marcus looks at everyone else.  
“I cannot describe how disappointed I am in SAMCRO at the moment. I went to Veronica yesterday because I wasn’t sure I could trust SAMCRO to honour our treaty. I needed her to explain to me why she trusted you after what the president of Tacoma did to her. She told me everything. Everything she went through in Seattle…And then she told me that she trusted SAMCRO because you have always protected her. That she loves you all because you are her family. Because of that girl’s trust, I decided I could trust SAMCRO. Ask yourselves if your actions in the last 24 hours have been about protecting that sick, pregnant little girl. If they haven’t been, maybe rethink your choices.”

I look at the guys as Marcus tells them off and Opie, Chibs, Bobby and Juice are crying. Jax, Clay and Happy just look pissed off. I notice that Kozik, Tig and Piney aren’t here, and I wonder where they are.

Marcus stops speaking and walks towards me. Jax gets in his way and says:  
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, man? You don’t get to be friends with my wife.”

I speak up from where I’m standing:  
“Don’t get used to saying that Jax. I will be getting the marriage annulled. And I can be friends with whomever I like.”  
“You are an old lady and you will do as you are told!”  
“Really? You want to start this again? Jesus Christ. It’s like you’ve never fucking met me.”  
“Maybe you should change and be a good old lady.”  
“Maybe I shouldn’t be an old lady anymore.”

Opie steps forward and says:  
“Veronica…”  
“What? You knew this morning when you climbed into my hospital bed that Jax was cheating on me. You knew when you talked Tara into giving me medical clearance to have sex that Jax was cheating on me. You knew when we got home. You knew when you were fucking me. You said NOTHING! You said it yourself months ago, a lie of omission is still a lie. You knew…And instead of protecting me, the woman you claim to love, your old lady…You protected him.”

I shake my head and say:  
“The two of you constantly tell me that it’s your job to protect me. So why didn’t either of you do that job? Why is it always you that hurts me? Physically, emotionally…Why is it always you?”

They don’t speak, so I continue:  
“I had a man killed yesterday. Ordered his execution like it was nothing. Didn’t even blink. When that fact was pointed out to me, I made a quip about spending too much time with Gemma…But I don’t think it’s Gemma. I think I’m just losing my humanity, my softness…And I think that’s because of you. Bobby said that I make you all love each other more, but more and more I feel like I love people less…Maybe it’s time for me to walk away, before I lose what little humanity I have left.”

I turn around and walk into the house. I pick up the house phone and call Kozik.  
“Hi Kiddo, now’s not a great time.”  
“Where are you?”  
“Piney and I are dealing with our Tig problem at the cabin.”  
“We don’t have a Tig problem. Do not hurt him.”  
“But Clay said you were upset.”  
“I was fine. Clay was upset. Do. Not. Hurt. Tig.”  
“But, Veronica.”  
“Dad! Tig was the only one who cared enough about me today to tell me the truth. Jax cheated on me last night. Clay wants you to hurt Tig because Tig loves me. Do not hurt him for that.”  
“We’re coming to the house now.”  
“Thank you.”

As I hang up, Felix walks up to me and says:  
“Boss? What do you want me to do?”  
“Keep all of them out of the house. When my Dad, Piney, and Tig get here, they can come in.”

I walk into my bedroom and go to the washroom. While I’m in there, I notice a lot of blood, not just spotting. When I’m done in the washroom, I walk back out to the kitchen and pick up the phone again. I call the hospital and leave a message for Tara. Then I pick up a storybook and sit down with the kids on the couch to read to them. Abuelita looks at me and says:  
“¿Estás bien mi querida?”  
“No. But I will be. I am stronger than Lianne was…right?”  
“You have a fire inside you that your mother never did, my sweet girl. Don’t let them extinguish it.”  
“Te amo Abuelita.”  
“I love you too, my darling.”

I hear yelling coming from outside so I hand the book to Abuelita and walk over to the door. Tara is trying to approach the door but Jax and Opie are stopping her, asking her questions. Before I can say anything, she yells at them:  
“Let me get inside! Veronica is bleeding. I need to check her and the babies. I swear to God…If the stress of this causes her to lose those babies I will help her kill you. Move!”

They step aside to let her by, but then try to follow her. Felix lets Tara in, but not Jax and Opie. As Tara and I walk to the bedroom I hear Jax yelling at Felix. And Felix responding with:  
“I take orders from Veronica, not you. She wants you outside, not in. Stop yelling. You are stressing Veronica out and scaring the kids.”

Tara examines me and says:  
“I have good news and bad news.”  
“Give me the good.”  
“The babies are just fine. You seem to have had a minor placental separation from the uterus, causing the bleeding. Did you sustain trauma today?”  
“Jax slammed me into the side of the car.”  
“That would do it. Jesus Christ.”  
“What’s the bad news?”  
“That strict hospital bedrest? It starts right now. Pack a bag of pyjamas. You’ll be in the hospital until you deliver those babies.”  
“But my kids…”

Abuelita says from the door:  
“They will be just fine with me, Veronica.”  
“Okay. Since I won’t be here, obviously their Dads can stay here.”  
“Okay. Everything will be fine, my darling.”

I get up, get re-dressed, and pack a bag. While I’m getting stuff together I write down a list of people that are allowed to visit at the hospital. I hand it to Tara and she says:  
“Kozik, Tig, Marcus, Eli, Leo, Lyla, Clarence, Felix, Abuelita, the kids…Are you sure you don’t want to give the other guys permission to visit you?”  
“Yeah. I’m sure.”  
“Okay. I’ll make sure security and the nurses have this list. You ready to go?”  
“My purse is in the car…So’s my phone.”  
“Okay. I’ll go get those, you hug your kids.”  
“I think my phone might be on the floor of the backseat.”  
“I’ll find it.”  
“Thanks.”

She takes my bag and walks out of the house after getting the car keys from Felix. I walk out into the living room and say:  
“Kiddos, Mama has to go back to the hospital so Tara can keep an eye on the babies. Abuelita is going to stay with you, okay?”

Eliie says:  
“Did Dad hurt you when he pushed you into the car? Is that why Tara has to keep an eye on the babies?”  
“No baby. It’s not Dad’s fault. Just sometimes twins are tricky and they want to come before they’re ready.”

I smile at the kids and say:  
“Mama’s going to be in the hospital until the babies are born, so it’s longer this time. Abuelita and Uncle Felix will bring you to visit me, okay?”  
“Okay, Mama.”  
“I love you my babies. Can I have hugs and kisses?”  
The kids all come over and wrap their arms around me and I squeeze them tight before giving them all kisses.  
“I love you, so, so much.”

Ellie says:  
“Silly Mama…We love you too.”

I stand up and turn around. By the time I get to Felix at the door, I’m sobbing. He wraps his arm around me and says:  
“I’ll walk you to Tara’s car, V.”  
“While I’m not here, Jax and Opie have every right to be here with their kids. Okay?”  
“Noted. You ready?”  
“I guess.”

We step outside and he leads me over to Tara’s car with Jax and Opie following us. Opie says:  
“Where are you going?”  
“The hospital. I’m there until the babies are born.”  
“Why? What caused the bleeding? Are the babies okay?”  
“The babies are fine. Part of the placenta separated from my uterus. Apparently physical trauma can cause that…Like being slammed into a car. So Tara has to monitor me to make sure it doesn’t get worse and that the babies don’t experience any issues because of it. I need the two of you to be here at the house with Abuelita and the kids until I’m home. We’ll figure out all of our shit then. Don’t bother coming to the hospital though. Neither of you are on the list of approved visitors.”

Jax says:  
“Those are our babies!”  
“Yes. And when I deliver, you can be there. I don’t want to see you until then. We can talk on the phone, but you may not come to the hospital. Don’t cheat on me again while I’m gone and I’ll consider not divorcing you.”

Opie says:  
“What about me?”   
“If he manages to keep it in his pants, I’ll forgive you for lying to me.”  
“This seems unfair.”  
“Like my husband cheating on me and the other love of my life not telling me about it? Unfair like that?”

We get to Tara’s car and Felix helps me in.  
“Felix? Can you update Clarence and ask him to bring me the books I need to study for that exam? Also, can you bring me my school books and my laptop later?”  
“Yup. Does that mean you’re accepting his job offer?”  
“Maybe, maybe not. It means I don’t see any harm in taking the licensing exam.”  
“Okay. I’ll come by later with your school stuff. Am I on the visitors list?”  
“Yes.”  
He kisses the side of my head and says:  
“See you later boss.”  
He closes the door, and Tara drives off. When we get to the hospital and I’m settled in my room I say:  
“Can you add Opie to that visitors list before you give it to security and the nurses?”  
“Yeah. Do you want me to let him know he’s on the list?”  
“No. If he shows up he can come in. Otherwise, he doesn’t really need to know, does he?”  
“Okay. Try to get some rest. I’ll be back in a bit to check on you.”

A while later I wake up and see Marcus sitting in the chair next to my bed.  
“How long have you been here?”  
“A while.”  
He holds up the file he’s reading and says:  
“Your head of security is very good. He’s even got my juvenile records in here.”  
“He’s paid well. Were you here when he dropped this stuff off?”  
“Yes. I should let you know that Jax and Opie have been in the hall since shortly after you fell asleep.”  
“Clearly they didn’t talk to the nurses…Opie’s on the approved visitors list.”  
“How are you feeling Veronica?”  
“Heartbroken?”  
“I haven’t seen you cry yet.”  
“I had quite the breakdown when Felix found me. I just have trouble showing vulnerability to people. Always feel like I need to be wearing the badass bitch mask.”  
“But no issues showing vulnerability to Felix?”  
“No. As soon as I met him I knew that he wouldn’t judge me or exploit my weakness. He’s Eli’s best friend you know.”  
“I did not know that.”  
“When Eli first introduced me to Felix he told me that I could trust Felix completely. I never had to worry about him hurting me. I guess it stuck.”  
“Thank you for reassuring Eli that him patching Mayan wouldn’t cause him to lose you.”  
“No problem. I love Eli, I’m not about to let Jax tell me I can’t be friends with him…Even if that is what caused all this.”  
“Explain.”  
“Jax tried to tell me I couldn’t be friends with Eli. I told him I could be friends with whomever I wanted. He pulled out his favourite line: ‘You are an old lady and you will do as you are told’…when I didn’t immediately acquiesce to his request he got all scary and cold, something he promised he wouldn’t do with me. I kicked him out because he scared me. I cried myself to sleep and he went and fucked someone else.”

Marcus shakes his head and says:  
“Stupid, impulsive boy. Are you going to forgive him?”  
“Yeah. I knew who Jax was when I agreed to marry him. It just hurts.”  
“I know he made a couple of comments about how you need to change to be a good old lady, but from an outsider’s perspective? You are an excellent old lady.”  
“Thanks. But his opinion is the one that matters. He’s the one who is going to either accept me as I am or spend the rest of our marriage trying to change me.”

We’re both quiet for a moment and then I say:  
“Why the personal interest in me, Marcus?”  
“At first it was just that Eli knew you.”  
“And then?”  
“I met you. You are intelligent and well spoken. You weren’t afraid of us even when we showed up in the middle of the night, unannounced. You sassed my guys when they didn’t immediately agree to leave their guns outside, basically calling any of them that didn’t want to chickens. You stood up to the Sons and let them know what you wanted and needed. You aren’t afraid to speak your mind, even when you know it’ll upset someone.”  
“So, I’m a badass bitch?”  
“Putting it briefly, yes.”  
“That doesn’t explain why you keep showing up.”  
“You remind me of my little sister. She was a badass bitch too.”  
“How did she die?”  
“Suicide. She was eighteen.”  
“I’m sorry, Marcus.”

He puts down the file and stands up before leaning over and kissing my forehead.  
“Get some rest Veronica.”  
“Can you tell Opie to check the list?”  
“Yeah.”

I close my eyes as he leaves the room and open them when I hear the door open and close again.  
“You put me on the list.”  
“Yeah, I did.”  
“Why? You’re angry with me.”

I hold my hand out to him and say:  
“Ope…come here.”  
He walks over to me and sits in the chair holding my hand.  
“I’m sorry, Ope. It’s just…this happening…again. It kind of broke me. Why can’t he just be faithful to me? What’s wrong with me?”  
“Nothing, baby. Nothing is wrong with you. Jax is the issue here, not you.”  
I don’t respond, and he sighs before saying:  
“Move over babe.”  
I move over and he climbs onto the bed, wrapping his arms around me.  
“Jax was raised by not one, but two men who don’t consider sex with crow-eaters to be cheating. They, like most of the club members, believe that it’s normal and something they deserve and something the old ladies just have to deal with quietly. Normally Jax isn’t like that, but sometimes when he’s upset, he screws up. There is nothing wrong with you. He loves you. Knowing he hurt you is killing him.”  
“What about you? Do you consider sex with crow-eaters to be cheating?”  
“Yes, I do. Growing up, I watched how Piney’s screwing around broke Mary. When I married Donna I promised I wouldn’t be like that, and until I met you I never even thought about cheating on her. And as I’ve previously said, I will never touch another woman as long as you are mine.”

I put my hand on his cheek and lean in to kiss him.  
“I love you so much. I’m sorry I took my pain about Jax out on you.”  
“I should have told you. I was going to, but you were still crying when I got here, and I couldn’t stand to hurt you. I just wanted to hold you and make everything better.”

I kiss him again, pouring all my love into it. When we pull apart he whispers:  
“You need to talk to him, my love.”  
“Yeah…I know.”

There’s a loud commotion in the hallway and I can hear Kozik and Jax speaking angrily to each other and then the sound of a punch landing.

“Go get those idiots before they kill each other.”

Opie gets up and goes to the door and says:  
“Get in here. All of you.”

Jax, Kozik, Tig, and Piney all walk in. I look at them all disapprovingly and say:  
“What the fuck is wrong with you? You are in a fucking hospital.”  
Kozik says:  
“The nurse says your issue is caused by physical trauma. What did he do?”  
Jax says:  
“I didn’t do anything.”  
I say:  
“Tara thinks it happened when he slammed me into the side of the car. Don’t worry, Jax, when Ellie asked if that’s what caused it, I told her that it wasn’t. That sometimes twins just want to come when they aren’t ready.”

His face falls and he says:  
“Ellie saw that?”  
“Well, we were in the driveway, it’s not shocking that one of the kids saw it.”  
“You’re so mad at me, why would you lie for me?”  
“I didn’t lie for you. I lied for Ellie. She is only six. She doesn’t need to know that her Dad hurt her Mama. And I’m not mad at you, asshole. I’m fucking heartbroken.”

I look at Tig and notice a giant bruise on his face.  
“Who did that?”  
“Jax…when he found out I stopped you from going into the clubhouse. Thank you for telling Kozik not to hurt me.”  
“We figured our shit out. It was just Clay who was upset.”  
“And Kozik and Piney.”  
“Well, yeah, them too I guess.”

Jax and Opie both say:  
“And me.”

I roll my eyes and say:  
“I love you guys, but can you give me some time with Jax? We have issues to work through.”

Piney says:  
“Want us to wait in the hallway?”  
“No. Just go home. I’ll be here for a while. Tara’s hoping the babies will stay where they are for at least a month.”  
“Okay sweetheart.”

Piney, Kozik, and Tig all kiss me goodbye — Piney on the forehead, Kozik on the cheek, and Tig on the lips — more of a kiss than was strictly necessary, guess he wanted to piss Jax off. Then they all leave the room.

Opie says:  
“Do you want me to stay?”  
“No. I’m fine. Go home. Be with the kids.”  
“Okay. I love you.”  
“I love you.”  
He kisses me and then leaves.

Jax sits down in the chair and says:  
“You forgave Ope.”  
“Yeah. I realized I was misplacing my hurt.”  
“You talk to your therapist?”  
“No. Marcus.”  
“What is his fascination with you?”  
“I remind him of his dead sister.”  
“Oh? Was she a tiny, blonde pain-in-the-ass too?”  
“No. But apparently she was a badass bitch who didn’t take shit from anyone. She committed suicide when she was eighteen.”  
“Damn.”  
“Actually…I have a way to find out everything about her. Hand me my phone?”

He passes it to me and I turn it on, ignoring the millions of notifications. I dial Clarence’s number and put it on speaker while I wait for him to answer.  
“Veronica. Are you okay? You were asleep when I came by.”  
“I’ll live, I think. You got me a file on Marcus Alvarez…Can you dig up all the information on his sister? She died when she was eighteen. I don’t have her name.”  
“Her name was Valerie. I’m actually in the process of putting the file together now. Figured you’d want it eventually.”  
“You knew that’s why he liked me.”  
“Of course I did. I know everything…Speaking of which, I got one of my guys to create a travel trail for that asshole, so when the ATF eventually comes looking, his path won’t make them stop here for long. Just make sure the Doc knows what to say. Work with her, V. Not everyone manipulates people as well as you do.”  
“I’ll work with her. Thanks CW.”  
“No problem. Have you considered my job offer?”  
“Considered? Yes. Made a decision? No.”  
“Well, study for the exam. We’ll talk about it more I’m sure.”  
“Yeah. Bye CW.”

I hang up and Jax looks at me.  
“ATF? The Doc?”  
“Tara’s abusive ex followed her to Charming. He was an ATF agent. He’s been dealt with.”  
“She brought a crazy ATF agent to our doorstep? What the fuck?”  
“She came back for you. She knew that you would do whatever you needed to in order to protect her.”  
“I wouldn’t have killed a fucking ATF agent. Jesus Christ Veronica.”  
“You had no problem killing a sheriff, or a deputy chief.”  
“That was for you.”  
“Yeah, well, Tara didn’t know I existed when she came back. She was hoping that you still loved her.”  
“You ordered the execution of a federal agent, Ronnie. Baby…that’s hard time if you get caught.”  
“I won’t. The only ones who know I had anything to do with it are you, Tara, and CW. Tara’s the weak link, but I’ll work with her. She’ll be fine. We’ll probably have to bring Leo in for that air of respectability, but he’ll be fine.”

He shakes his head and says:  
“You’ve gotta stop getting CW to kill people baby.”  
“It’s part of his job.”  
“No it’s not.”  
“Oh, but it is…Literally, in his job description. Part of the reason Jake hired him in the first place.”  
“Jesus Christ. Your fucking family.”

I hold my hand out for him to take and once he does, I say:  
“Can we talk about last night? Calmly? Without yelling or threats?”  
“Can I hold you?”  
“My hand…For now it’s all I can handle.”  
“Okay.”

“Let me start by saying that I love you. But when you get cold and angry like you got last night, it scares me, and I don’t want to be near you.”  
“I love you. So much. I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t mean to use that side of my personality with you. I never mean to. But you just don’t listen.”

“Jax…I am the same girl I’ve been the whole time you’ve known me. I’ve never listened when someone orders me to do something, and saying ‘you’re just an old lady, do as you’re told’ is a surefire way to make me not do the thing you want me to do. If what you are telling me to do makes sense, I will do it. But last night you were just making fucking decrees. Eli is one of my best friends, has been since I was seven. He is our children’s uncle. He is the boy I loved. Our family includes two members of his inner circle, and Abuelita is not going anywhere and neither is Felix. You cannot tell me I can’t be friends with him anymore. I understand the risks of having a friend in the Mayans. I will take appropriate measures to keep our family and the club safe. And we can discuss what those measures are and how they change if the Sons and the Mayans become enemies again. But Eli would never hurt me or the kids. You know that.”

Before he can speak, I say:  
“Last night and today were not the first time that you’ve suggested I need to change and be a better old lady. If this is going to be a running theme in our marriage, I don’t want it. I’m me. You can either accept that and stop trying to change me, or we should just call it quits now so you can find an old lady that is better suited to what you want. I will never be instantly and completely obedient. I will never be okay with you fucking crow-eaters. I will never be okay with you physically hurting me. And I will never just shut up and take the things that I’m not okay with. You will always know when you’ve done something to piss me off. I love you, so much it fucking hurts. So much that I feel like I can’t breathe when you aren’t touching me. But maybe that’s not enough. Maybe you need a different old lady…One who will do what she’s told, and look the other way when your dick ends up inside someone else.”

We’re both crying when I finish speaking and he says:  
“I don’t want a different old lady. I only want you. You are the love of my life. I have never loved anyone the way I love you. I’m sorry I suggested you needed to change. You don’t. You are perfect the way you are. Sometimes Gemma gets in my head and I stupidly believe her when she says you need to be a better old lady.”  
“I’m really scared that I’m destined to be Lianne. Like, maybe I am my mother’s daughter, doomed to repeat her mistakes…Not necessarily the drinking, but everything else…Marry the wrong man, be a bad mom, run away, die tragically. Maybe that’s my fate.”  
“You think I’m the wrong man?”  
“No, but she didn’t think Keith was either.”  
“You are not your mother.”  
“You don’t know that.”

He stands up and says:  
“Move over.”

I move over and he lies down next to me, wrapping his arms around me.  
“You forget that I met Lianne. You are not her, my love. And you are not losing your humanity. You are still soft, sweet, and loving. Just sometimes your love causes you to do something that other people wouldn’t be able to do because you are so strong.”  
“I don’t feel strong. I feel like i’m constantly on the brink of tears and I’m barely holding it together, wearing a mask all the time to keep people from seeing that I’m weak.”  
“You are not weak. You are human.”  
“You slept with someone else…why? Why am I not enough for you? What’s wrong with me?”  
“Baby…I didn’t. I intended to. I took her in the apartment, but I couldn’t. She touched me and I had a physical reaction of revulsion because she wasn’t you.”  
“Why didn’t you tell me that earlier?”  
“I did…in the 50 fucking voicemails I left.”  
“My phone was off.”  
“I know that now. But when you got to the house I thought you had heard them and didn’t care. And by the time I realized you hadn’t heard them, I was angry and was trying to hurt you, so I didn’t tell you then.”  
“Why do the guys think you fucked her?”  
“I let her sleep in the bed and I slept in the chair all night. I didn’t want to go home without you and Ope there. I knew he was going to go straight to the hospital as soon as I walked into the apartment with that girl.”  
“Jesus Christ, you’re a moron.”  
“I know. Forgive me for being stupid…Please, baby?”  
“We gotta stop doing this Jax. We really need to work on our communication.”  
“Yeah…We do. Can you forgive me for now, please?”  
“For that part? Sure.”  
“The car…”  
“Yeah. Once again, you got pissed and I got slammed into something.”  
“I’m sorry baby.”  
“I’ll tell you the same thing I told Opie. I don’t want your apologies. I want you to stop touching me in anger. I want you to stop hurting me.”

He runs his hand down the side of my head, playing with the ends of my hair.   
“I don’t know how to convince you that I will do my best to never hurt you again.”  
“This is a new thing, Jax…We were together for a year in Tacoma and you never did this. You never hurt me. Why are things different now?”  
“I don’t know Veronica. I feel myself becoming more and more like Clay and it scares me. I don’t want to hurt you.”  
“Clay thinks you’re becoming more like the man you need to be to be president. Better able to make the tough decisions. He thinks it’s because of me.”  
“You were talking to Clay about me?”  
“I was talking to Clay about his hands and how long he thought he’d be able to ride. He wants me to convince you to make Chibs or Bobby your V.P when you become president. He doesn’t think it would be good for the club for me to have so much influence over both the president and the vice president.”  
“He’s not entirely wrong about that. Why Chibs or Bobby?”  
“I suggested them, actually. They balance out your more impulsive and irrational qualities.”  
“Smart girl.”  
“There’s nothing wrong with being more like Clay, babe. You just need to temper your rage-filled moments. Being president means making harder choices.”  
“I need you to keep me human, baby.”

I lean in and kiss him, before saying:  
“Don’t push me away then. Don’t pick fights. Don’t even attempt to sleep with someone else. Just talk to me. Be with me. Trust me.”

He kisses me then, and I’m overwhelmed by the love he pours into it. We lay like that for a while, just kissing, until the door opens and Tara says:  
“You’re not on the approved visitors list.”  
I smile against Jax’s mouth and say:  
“I guess I should fix that. Go home to the kids. They’re all going to need extra love and comfort from you, but especially Ellie.”  
“I want to stay with you.”  
“Come back later. You can sleep here, but for now…Go home to the kids. Please. You scared them today. You scared Abuelita today.”  
“I scared you.” “Yes. You did.”  
“I’m sorry, baby.”  
“I know. Go home Jackson.”

He kisses me again and says:  
“Yes ma’am. I’ll be back later. I’d better be on the damn list.”  
“Yeah, yeah.”

He gets up off the bed and leaves the room. Tara says:  
“You forgave him.”  
“Yeah…I’m a sucker for those blue eyes. You have time to come and sit for a minute?”  
“Of course.”

She walks over and sits in the chair next to me before saying:  
“What’s up?”  
“Clarence wanted me to talk to you about what you should say if someone comes looking for your ex.”  
“What should I say?”  
“That he came looking for you, you had an argument, you refused to go home with him. He left town, you assumed he went home.”  
“Did he leave town?”  
“There’s a trail that says he did.”  
“What if they want more information than that?”  
“You don’t know anything else. You only had the one conversation with him before he left.”  
“I’m not good at lying.”  
“Well, suck it up princess, because you’re probably going to have to get good.”  
“A little harsh today, huh?”  
“Yeah, sorry. I’m tired.”  
“Get some sleep. I’ll put Jax on the visitor’s list.”  
“Thank you.”  
She leaves the room and I close my eyes. 

When I wake up again, the room is dark and Jax is lying next to me, asleep. I run my fingers through his hair, brushing it back from his face and stare at him. He looks so peaceful and innocent in his sleep, there’s none of the hardness that came from being raised in the MC. As I watch him sleep, I am overwhelmed by my love for him, and I feel tears streaming down my face. After a few minutes go by he opens his eyes and whispers:  
“Why are you crying, Veronica?”  
“I love you.”  
“Generally not a reason to cry, my sweet.”  
“Sometimes I’m just overwhelmed by how much I love you. I’m a pregnant woman. I’m allowed to randomly cry.”

He wipes the tears off of my face and softly kisses me.  
“Go back to sleep baby.”  
“You’ll be here in the morning?”  
“Yup. I’m not going anywhere.”


	17. Two Months Later

When I wake up Opie is sitting next to my bed holding Thomas, and Jax is pacing the room with Delilah.   
“She’s hungry, babe.”  
“She’s a newborn, Jackson. They’re always hungry. Give her to me.”

He walks over and passes Dee to me. As I feed her, Jax says:  
“Everyone’s in the hallway. They’ve been patiently waiting for almost two days to meet the kids. Can they come in?”  
“Can I feed both kids and put my boobs away before my room is filled with bikers?”  
“Yeah, of course.”

I finish feeding Dee and pass her back to Jax as Opie passes me Tommy. Thankfully they never seem to be hungry at the same time, unfortunately that means that I feel like I’m always feeding them.

Once I’m done feeding Tommy I say:  
“Fine, let the chaos in.”  
Opie opens the door and says:  
“She says you can all come in now.”  
Opie walks over to me and takes Tommy out of my arms. I look at the door as everyone walks in. Everyone hugs me before going to look at the kids. Lyla climbs onto the bed and snuggles into me when she comes in, whispering in my ear:  
“You look damn good for someone who just had twins.”  
“But not good for any other type of person?”  
“Ah…So the snark has returned. How I missed snarky Veronica over the past month.”  
“Veronica was too busy studying over the past month to be snarky.”  
“You took the exam yesterday right? Clarence arranged for the person to come to you?”  
“Yeah.”  
“How’d you do?”  
“I passed. I am now officially a licensed private investigator.”  
“Good girl. Are you going to work for Clarence?”  
“Haven’t made a decision on that yet. I’m going to take some time at home with the kids before I decide anything.”  
“And Clarence is okay with that?”  
“Of course. It was his idea…Lyla, how are you?”  
“What? With the break-up? I’m fine. I knew from the start it wasn’t going to be a forever thing…Although, I will duck out when he gets here. I love you, and I’m fine, really…But it hurts to see how much he loves you. It always has.”  
“I’m sorry, my love.”  
“It’s not your fault. I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”  
“La, you never have to censor yourself with me. I love you.”

She leans over and kisses me as Leo walks in.  
“I’ll come see you when you get home.”  
“Two more days…just two more days. Love you.”  
“Love you too babe.”  
She gets up off the bed and leaves the room. I watch as Leo stares after her until she’s out of sight. I shake my head at him as he walks over and sits on the bed next to me.  
“You idiot.”  
“What did I do?”

I just look at him with my eyebrow raised. He sighs and says:  
“I know. What do I do?”  
“Tell her how much you love her you moron.”  
“I have!”  
“Well, try again! She left because she thinks you love me more than you love her. You and I both know that isn’t true. That amazing, wonderful woman is the love of your life, Leo. Stop screwing up!”  
“I do love you.”  
“Yeah, but you are in love with her. Tell her that.”  
“Yeah…You’re right.”  
“No, now, Leo. Go tell her now.”  
“You are so bossy.”  
“Yes. Go, Leo.”  
He kisses me and says:  
“I love you.”  
“I love you too. Go get her back.”

He leaves the room and I sit back and watch this weird family I’ve married into. Gemma has taken Dee from Jax, and Clay has taken Tommy from Opie. Piney is standing next to Gemma making faces at Dee. The rest of the guys are talking to Jax and Opie. Juice notices that Leo’s gone and walks over and sits on the bed next to me, wrapping his arm around me. He kisses the side of my head and says:  
“You did good Ronnie. They’re beautiful.”  
“Thanks Juice.”  
“How are you feeling?”  
“Tired…Wanting to go home.”  
“You want us to go so you can nap?”  
“No, everyone is fine. Can I just rest up against you for a while?”  
“Of course.”

I lean into him, resting my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes. When I wake up, everyone else is gone, the babies are in their cribs, and Opie and Jax are quietly talking to Juice.  
“How long was I asleep?”  
Opie says:  
“About an hour or so. Can Juice get out of your bed now that you’re awake?”  
“Oh…But he’s so comfortable.”  
I wink at Opie and he says:  
“Brat.”

Juice and I both laugh and he kisses me before getting off the bed and leaving the room.  
“Have my Dads called yet?”  
Jax says:  
“No. Sorry babe.”  
I shrug.  
“Oh well. Their loss.”  
Opie says:  
“You’re taking this well.”  
“Clearly they don’t care, so why should I?”

A voice from the door says:  
“Who doesn’t care?”  
I look up and smile before saying:  
“Marcus. The Sons and the Mayans no longer have a treaty. You can’t be here.”  
“I’m unarmed and alone. Your husbands can check. I just wanted to come visit you.”

Jax walks over to Marcus and checks for weapons.  
“Fine. Come in.”  
Marcus walks over to me and kisses my forehead.  
“How are you feeling sweetheart?”  
“Tired. Anxious to go home. Pissed at my Dads for not showing up, not calling.”  
“Has Eli been here?”  
“No. He called, but hasn’t shown up. I think he’s afraid Jax still wants to kill him, and now there’s no treaty to save his ass…”  
“What can I do?”  
“Sit down with Clay?”  
“Tried that. He threatened to shoot me.”  
“But he didn’t.”  
He laughs and says:  
“I suppose you’re right, my darling. He didn’t actually shoot me. We have some differences of opinions regarding our shipments and other customers.”  
“I know. But I’m sure something could be figured out.”  
“I’m sure. But both sides would have to come to the table.”  
“Or treaties would have to be established between all parties, not just two.”  
“Clever girl.”

I look at Jax and Opie, they both nod, so I say:  
“I get to go home in two days. Why don’t you come for dinner on Friday? I’ll bring all parties to the table, and you know my house is neutral ground with no-one but my employees permitted to be armed.”  
“All parties? Even the overseas ones?”  
“They aren’t really required to discuss local treaties, Marcus.”  
“True, but I would like to meet them.”  
“Perhaps in the future. You know they’re a bunch of racist, sexist prigs. You’re not missing much.”  
“You don’t sound like you like them very much.”  
“Is liking them a requirement for moving their product?”  
“No. But if you don’t trust someone it makes me question trusting them.”  
“My opinion means that much to you?”  
“You have good instincts. If you don’t trust someone, they are probably not worthy of trust.”  
“Full disclosure?”  
“Always.”  
“If it were up to me…I would recommend the Sons transition away from those particular business partners…But it’s not up to me.”  
“Unfortunately. Who would you suggest the Sons transition to?”  
“Nope. You get my opinions, not my grand plans for the future, Marcus.”  
“You’ll keep me apprised if the supplier changes?”  
“Of course. You’re a customer.”  
“And a friend?”  
“Mine, yes. Of the club? Not currently.”  
“Fair enough. Friday night?”  
“Yeah…Say, 6:00?”  
“I will be there. Can I bring a second with me?”  
“Of course.”  
“Can it be Eli?”  
“Yes. I’ll make sure my hothead husband doesn’t start anything.”

Jax says:  
“If Eli didn’t feel the need to kiss you like he was about to take your fucking clothes off I wouldn’t want to kill him.”  
“Uh-huh. That’s why you want to kill him. It has nothing to do with the fact that he’s had sex with me.”  
“If that was the reason, I would want to kill Logan too.”  
“When was the last time you spoke to Logan, let alone saw him in person?”  
“Before…”  
“Exactly.”

Marcus leans over to kiss my forehead and says:  
“I feel like I’ve started a longer conversation here, so I’m going to leave. I will see you Friday.”

He leaves the room and I say:  
“Jax, call Clay and Laroy.”  
“Yes ma’am.”

I pick up my phone and call Clarence.  
“Shouldn’t you be sleeping while the babies sleep?”  
“Probably. I’m having a dinner party on Friday that could end up being trouble. I need extra security put on the house.”  
“How many?”  
“Twenty? And I’d like Felix to be switched to the afternoon shift instead of the morning one that day so he can be with Abuelita and the kids.”  
“Where will they be? Not in the house I hope.”  
“The bunker. I mean, this is why we have it, right?”  
“You want these guards armed?”  
“Yes. And make sure none of them have any ties with the Sons, Mayans, or the One-Niners.”  
“Except Felix of course.”  
“Of course.”  
“So none of your usual guards?”  
“Probably best. If they are working, they need to be on the property perimeter, not in the house.”  
“Would you prefer ex-special forces?”  
“Always.”  
“Want to see their files?”  
“No. I trust you.”  
“Okay. I will have them report to your house at 3:00 on Friday?”  
“That works for me. Thanks.”

I hang up and Opie says:  
“Did you just hire twenty armed guards for this little dinner on Friday?”  
“Technically twenty-one, since Felix will be with the kids and Abuelita.”  
“Why so many babe?”  
“We are inviting the heads of rival gangs to our home. I want them to see that I don’t fuck around with the safety of my family so they aren’t tempted to visit unannounced in the future.”

He walks over and sits on the bed with me, wrapping an arm around me before kissing me.  
“My smart girl.”  
“Can you guys figure out the details of the suggested treaties, or do I need to?”  
He laughs and says:  
“You probably need to. But right now you need to sleep for a bit while the twins do.”

I curl into him, resting my head on his shoulder and leaning in slightly to kiss his neck.  
“Okay. I’ll sleep.”


	18. Five Days Later

Friday morning I get up early to start making dinner. By the time Jax and Opie walk into the kitchen I’ve got roast in the slow cooker, cherry pies in the oven, and I’m peeling potatoes. Jax walks up behind me, wrapping his arms around me before he says:  
“It smells amazing in here.”  
“It’s the cherry pies.”  
“So what’s on the menu anyways, babe?”  
“Pot roast, scalloped potatoes, glazed carrots, and homemade biscuits. Cherry pie for dessert.”  
“You’re going to spoil them.”  
“I have to feed them something. I wasn’t about to just order pizza.”

He kisses my cheek and says:  
“My amazing wife…”  
“The treaty plans are in the files on my desk in the office if you want to grab them and look them over.”  
“I don’t need to. I trust you.”  
“Jackson. You are the vice president. I’m just an old lady. You have to be able to sell this plan as your own. Go look over the treaty agreements and understand them inside and out. Marcus will support a plan coming from me, but Laroy won’t.”  
“You’re right. I hope you made them as easy to understand as possible.”  
“I wrote them for gang leaders dear, not lawyers.”  
He just looks at me and blinks. I laugh and say:  
“I used small, easy to understand words. There are even pictures!”  
“Now I feel like you’re patronizing me.”  
“Maybe a little.”  
I turn and kiss him before saying:  
“Go. Study.”  
He lets go of me and leaves the room. I look at Opie and say:  
“Ope…Can you come finish peeling these potatoes? I need to pump for tonight.”  
“I think I can handle peeling potatoes, yes.”

He walks over to me and I put the vegetable peeler down before wrapping my arms around his waist. He puts his hands on my face and leans down to kiss me.  
“You’re absolutely amazing, you know that?”  
“It’s just dinner and pie, Ope.”  
“Why do you always do that? Brush off everything you do for us, and everyone? You just had twins after a complicated pregnancy, you have passed all your exams to graduate from high school, you’ve passed your private investigator’s exam, you spent the past two days working on those treaty agreements, and now you’re making this incredible dinner. You are amazing.”  
“Because it’s just normal life stuff. I’m not doing anything special.”

He shakes his head and kisses me again and then I let go of him and settle myself in one of the chairs at the kitchen island so I can pump extra milk for the twins while they’re in the bunker with Abuelita tonight.  
“You’ve been pumping for days. Don’t you think you have enough for them for tonight?”  
“I want to make sure they have extra. Abuelita will be taking them in this afternoon, and they might not be coming back to the house until morning.”  
“You think something’s going to go wrong?”  
“I think it’s a possibility. I just want to be prepared, Ope.”  
“I think you worry too much. You need to relax, baby. Everything is going to be fine.”  
“Babe…Every time there has been the possibility of something going horribly wrong, something has. My whole life…Why would this dinner with fucking gang leaders be different?”

He walks over to me and sits next to me, putting his hand on my cheek as he says:  
“My love, nothing is going to go wrong. At some point you need to relax and trust that we can take care of you.”  
“I know you can. I don’t doubt that you will do everything in your power to protect me and the kids. I just worry about you guys…All the time. I spend every moment of every day trying to keep myself busy so I don’t spend all my time obsessing about losing you.”

His face falls and he stands up and picks me up off the chair to set me on the counter. He steps close to me and puts his hands on the sides of my neck, leaning forward until he can rest his forehead on mine.

“My sweet girl…you cannot spend your life worried about something that will eventually happen. We just need to focus on being happy now.”  
“Eventually happen?”  
“Veronica…I want you to take a deep breath and focus on the fact that I’m standing right here baby. Jax is in the office, trying to understand your brilliance enough to pass it off as his own. Our kids are upstairs with Abuelita. Everyone is at home and safe.”  
“But you acknowledge that I am going to lose you.”  
“I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have opened my big mouth.”  
“Ope…”  
“Baby…we all know that every time we go out on club business there is a chance we catch a bullet or go to prison. But we can’t focus on that. We have to focus on our family and our day to day happiness. If you spend our whole lives focusing on losing us, you’re never going to be truly happy. I can’t live my life watching the woman I love being miserable all the time. We will do everything we can to make sure we always come home to you, but aside from that…Veronica, we just need to focus on the good. Okay?”  
“Okay…I’ll do my best.”

I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him even closer to me while I tangle my hands in his hair. He groans and whispers:  
“Six weeks, right baby?”  
“Unfortunately. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do other things.”  
I move my hands out of his hair and move them to his belt, quickly undoing it before moving my hands to the button of his jeans. I kiss him as I undo the button.

Someone clears their throat from the doorway and I turn to look at Patrick, the morning security guard, and he says:  
“Sorry boss, but there’s a guy at the gate that says he knows you. He called you Veronica Mars. Said he wants to meet his nephew.”  
He holds his phone out to me with a photo on the screen.   
“Fuck. I told you something was going to go wrong.”  
“Who is that?”  
“Dan Lamb.”

I hop off the counter and say:  
“Ope, when the timer goes off, take the pies out of the oven. Patrick, go upstairs and get Abuelita and the kids to go in our room. Lock the door and stand outside of it. No-one but me, Ope, or Jax gets through. You understand?”

Patrick nods and says:  
“Yes ma’am.”

Opie says:  
“You’re not going out there alone, Veronica.”  
“You’re right. I’m not. Jax is coming with me, and once you’ve taken the pies out of the oven, you are coming out too.”  
“Okay.”

I yell:  
“Jax! I need you!”

He walks into the room and says:  
“What’s going on?”  
“Dan Lamb is at the gate wanting to meet Abel.”  
“Shit.”

We both walk towards the front door, grabbing our guns from the cupboard on our way out. We walk towards the gate and I press the button to open it as we get closer. Once the gate is open, Dan walks in. As he approaches us he says:  
“Damn. You grew up good little Mars.”  
“Why are you here, Dan?”  
“I want to meet my nephew.”  
“Dan…If you have a nephew, it’s certainly not my son. Jax is Abel’s father.”  
“Not biologically. Biologically, Abel is Don’s son. We all know that.”  
“No, Dan. We don’t all know that, because it’s not true.”  
“Goddamn it Veronica! Don knew! He knew he got you pregnant when he raped you. He knew Abel was his son! He was too weak to do what needed to be done, to fight for custody of his son. Abel is a Lamb and should be raised as such!”  
“Jesus Christ Dan. Listen to yourself. Don admitted he raped me and you think my son needs to be raised like the two of you were? Even if Abel was Don’s son, which he isn’t, why would I ever let you do to him what your father did to you?”  
“There is nothing wrong with how our father raised us!”  
“That’s why Don had scars all over his back from getting the belt as a child? That’s why he had nightmares about your father? That’s why you are such a stable and well-reasoned individual?”  
“He is my nephew!”  
“No! He is my son! Mine and Jax’s! He has nothing to do with you!”

He steps closer to me and says in a low voice:  
“I will never stop trying to get Abel. I will fight for custody, and if that doesn’t work, I will take him. It might take years, but Abel will be raised by his proper family.”  
“Leave, Dan.”  
He steps closer again and says:  
“No.”  
“Dan. I was a fifteen year old virgin when your thirty-one year old brother raped me. I have a video of it. Every time I begged to go home, begged him to stop hurting me…Every cry, every scream of pain…All the blood…It’s all documented thanks to Don and the video he made. I also have an audio recording of him admitting what he did to me was rape. Admitting that I didn’t consent. So even if, for argument’s sake, we say that Don was Abel’s biological father, there is no way in hell any court would grant your crazy ass custody.”

Before Dan can say anything, there’s a commotion at the door. Abel tries running out to me, and Opie grabs him and takes him inside, Abel screaming the whole time. Dan shoves past me to get closer to the door. While he’s facing away from me and distracted, I pull my gun out and point it at him. When he turns around he says:  
“He looks exactly like Don did when he was little. He is my nephew. I will never stop fighting to raise him.”

I point the gun at his head and pull the trigger. When his body drops, I shoot him in the head again before putting my gun away. I look at Jax and say:  
“Call Clarence. Let him know we need the cleaner. Now.”  
“Yup.”

I walk in the house and put my gun away before walking into the kitchen and taking Abel from Opie.   
“How did you get away from Abuelita and Patrick, little boy?”  
“Wanted Mama.”  
“Oh, my clever boy.”  
My phone rings, so I pick it up.  
“Hey Leo.”  
“Got reports of gunshots at your house. Everything okay?”  
“It was a bike backfiring, that’s all.”  
“Are you lying to me right now?”  
“Why would I do that, Deputy Chief?”  
“I don’t know, Veronica.”  
“It was just a bike backfiring.”  
“Okay.”  
I hang up and Opie looks at me and says:  
“You lied to Leo. I’ve never seen you lie to Leo.”  
“He knew I was lying. Plausible deniability. Everything is fine.”

I get a text message from Clarence that just says:  
‘ETA 15 minutes.’

I walk up the stairs and glare at Patrick.  
“Boss, I have no idea how he got past me.”  
“Patrick, he’s a toddler! If you can’t keep a toddler in a bedroom, how the hell are you going to keep an armed individual from getting to my kids?”  
“Mrs. Winston-Teller, I promise this will never happen again. I screwed up, I’m sorry.”  
“You’re right, Patrick. It will never happen again. You are no longer working here. Report to Clarence for re-assignment.”

He walks away and I pull my phone out to call Clarence.  
“Veronica.”  
“I’m sending Patrick to see you for re-assignment. He failed miserably at a task this morning and I no longer trust his ability to keep my family safe.”  
“How much does he know?”  
“Too much.”  
“I’ll handle it.”  
“Thank you.”  
“Veronica…who was it?”  
“Don’s brother. He threatened to take Abel.”  
“And who pulled the trigger?”  
“Me.”  
“Any regrets?”  
“Not a single fucking one.”  
“Good girl.”

He hangs up and I put my phone back in my pocket before opening the bedroom door. Abuelita looks at me and says:  
“Is everything okay, Veronica?”  
“It will be, but I’d like you to take the kids to the bunker now, Abuelita. Out the back, not the front door. The kitchen down there is fully stocked, and there is pumped milk in the fridge downstairs that you should grab on the way out.”  
“Will Patrick be going with us?”  
“No. I will call Felix and Tig to meet you there.”  
“Alright my darling.”

I kiss the kids and say:  
“You listen to Abuelita, okay guys?”  
“Okay Mama.”

I leave the room and call Felix.  
“Hey Boss.”  
“I need you to come in early. We had an issue and Abuelita and the kids need to leave the house sooner than expected. Go straight to the safehouse, okay?”  
“Sure thing Boss.”  
“Oh, one more thing, I’m sending Tig with you.”  
“You think I can’t handle it, V?”  
“I just have a bad feeling, okay?”  
“Okay.”

We hang up and I call Tig.  
“Hey baby.”  
“Hey Tiggy. I need you to come to the house. Please?”  
“I’ll be there in five minutes.”  
“Thanks.”

I hang up and walk downstairs to finish my dinner prep. When I walk into the kitchen both Jax and Opie are sitting at the kitchen island. I start peeling potatoes again and Jax says:  
“Just like that? Who the fuck are you?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“You killed a man not ten minutes ago. A man you have known most of your life. You stood there and without fucking blinking you put two bullets in his head. Who the fuck are you, and what have you done with my wife?”  
“You heard him. He was going to take Abel.”  
“I don’t disagree with you killing him babe. I’m questioning this…How are you fine right now?”  
“I don’t have the option of breaking down right now. We have the Mayans and the One-Niners coming this evening and I have too much to do.”  
“How can we help?”  
“You can go back to studying those agreements, because you cannot slip up later.”  
“Yes ma’am.”

Jax walks out of the room as Tig walks in.  
“I’m here, my queen. Can we talk about the body in the driveway?”  
“The cleaner should be here any minute. Ope, go wait for him please. Make sure he pulls the bullets out.”

Opie stands up and says:  
“Okay, babe.”

Once Opie leaves the room, Tig walks over to me and puts his hands on my waist to turn me so I’m facing him. Once I am, he puts his hand on my neck and says:  
“Sweetheart, was that you?”  
“He was Don’s older brother. He threatened to take Abel.”  
“How long ago baby?”  
“Ten minutes or so.”  
“And you’re this calm?”  
“Will me breaking down help anything? I have shit to do before the Mayans and the Niners are here. I don’t have time to breakdown.”  
“Shh. I’m not suggesting you breakdown. I wasn’t judging you Veronica. The ability to compartmentalize is a useful skill. It’s one of the things that will make you a great queen.”

I put my hand on his cheek and lean in and kiss him. The fingers of his hand that is still on my waist tighten as he deepens the kiss and he turns us and pushes me up against the counter, sliding the hand that’s on my neck into my hair and tangling his fingers in it. I wrap my arms around his waist and run my nails along his back over his shirt. It’s not until I feel him harden against me and he presses me back into the counter harder than he had been that I realize what we’re doing and I say his name against his mouth.  
“Tig…Stop…We can’t do this.”

He pulls his mouth off of mine but doesn’t step back, keeping me pressed into the counter with his forehead resting on mine. We’re both breathing heavily as he whispers:  
“I want you.”  
“I can tell. But I’m Jax’s and Opie’s. We can’t do this.”  
“You want me too.”  
“Irrelevant.”  
“It is relevant. Ask them for permission. They’ve let you fuck other people before.”  
“Jax let me fuck Opie, and then they both let me fuck Logan, yes. But in both cases, the person or persons I was dating were not available to comfort me when I needed it. Jax and I ended up in a relationship with Opie, and fucking Logan destroyed a six year friendship. I don’t want this…whatever this is…to destroy your relationship with Jax and Opie.”  
“Veronica…baby, I love you.”  
“Tig…I love you, I do. But it is nothing compared to how much I love them. Yes, I want you, but I will never do anything about that because it would hurt them. They are my everything. When they are gone it feels like there’s no oxygen in the world, like I can’t fucking breathe until they touch me again.”

He kisses me again and then steps back from me.  
“There was a reason you called me, right?”  
“Yeah. I was hoping you’d be willing to hang out in the bunker with Abuelita and the kids. Felix will be down there too, but I have a bad feeling about tonight and I’d like you with them.”  
“Of course. Are they down there now?”  
“Yeah. Thank you.”

He leans in and kisses me again, deep and lustful, before saying:  
“I am always here when you need me sweetheart.”  
“Thank you Tig. I’m sorry I’m hurting you.”  
“You aren’t, my love. I can handle it.”

He walks out of the room towards the back of the house, and I go back to peeling potatoes. Opie walks in as I start the last potato. He takes the potato and the peeler out of my hands and turns me around to face him. He whispers in my ear:  
“Let’s finish what we started earlier.”  
I kiss him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He pulls away and says:  
“You don’t taste like you. What happened with Tig?”  
“We kissed. That’s it. I explained to him why I won’t ever fuck him.”  
“He’s really got to stop kissing you.”  
“Ope, everyone kisses me. Why do you have such a problem with Tig?”  
“I don’t know. I don’t like the way you taste after you kiss him. No-one else changes the way you taste like he does.”  
“I have a solution to the taste problem.”  
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

I undo his belt and pants and shove them and his boxers down as I sink to my knees in front of him.   
“Baby, we’re in the kitchen.”  
“Yes. We are. And right here, in this kitchen, I’m going to suck your cock, then I’m going to go back to prepping dinner.”  
He groans as I run my tongue up his length and take him in my mouth. He tangles his fingers in my hair at the back of my head, holding me in place as he thrusts into my mouth. I gag as he thrusts deeper and faster than I can handle. When he slows down I moan around his cock and run my nails along his ass and thighs. I look up at him and he growls deep in his chest as he start thrusting harder and deeper again. I keep looking at him as he comes and I swallow before licking his cock clean as I pull off of it.   
“I’d like to state for the record that I said I was going to suck your cock, not that you were going to fuck my mouth.”  
“Sorry baby. I just couldn’t…”  
“It’s okay.”  
I stand up and kiss him.  
“How do I taste now?”  
He growls:  
“I love the way you taste after one of us comes in your mouth. It’s a combination of you and us that’s intoxicating.”  
“I love you. Put your pants back on before someone walks in.”   
“If you give me a minute we can do that again.”  
“I have to finish my prep for tonight, but if everything goes well tonight I’ll let you fuck my mouth again later.”  
“As a reward for good behaviour?”  
“Sure. Or…you know, it could be my reward for a job well done.”  
“Me fucking your mouth is a reward for you?”  
“Uh…duh.”

I turn and leave the room, walking up to my bedroom and into the bathroom where I wash my hands and brush my teeth. Once I’m done, I go back downstairs and rewash my hands in the kitchen before I finish peeling the last potato and start slicing them up. I quickly make the white sauce for the scalloped potatoes and slice up an onion, then assemble the potato dish and set it in the fridge. 

Opie is sitting at the island watching me. He says:  
“How can I help, babe?”  
“Wash your hands and peel carrots.”

With his help I get the rest of dinner prepped quickly and I say:  
“I’m going to go for a ride before the guards get here.”  
“What have you eaten today?”  
“Eggs and bacon with the kids earlier and I’m about to eat this apple.”  
“Really? So that apple is for you, and not Raven?”  
“I might share it with Raven.”  
“Take two. One for you, one for him.”  
“Fine. Bossy.” 

I walk to the back of the house and put the apples down as I switch from my slip on house shoes to my boots. Then I head out to the barn. As I open the door and walk in I say:  
“Hello, babies. How’s everyone today?”  
I give each horse a pat and a treat as I walk to the end of the barn. When I get to Raven’s stall I hold the apple out for him and say:  
“Hey buddy. You want to go for a ride?”  
My beautiful black mustang steps over to me and takes the apple from my hand. As he eats it I eat mine. When we’re both done I grab his tack from the tack room and get him ready to go out. As I’m walking him out of the barn, Gemma walks up.  
“Hey Mom, what are you doing here?”  
“I came to see if you needed any help prepping dinner, but Opie tells me you are done and that you’re going for a ride. Can I join you?”  
“Of course. You want to take Susie out? She could use the exercise.”  
“Sure. I’ll be right out.”

A few minutes later, Gemma walks Susie out. I mount Raven as Gemma mounts the pretty palomino mare and we head off for our trail ride. Our property butts up against Elliott Oswald’s large chunk of wooded land, so we’ve cleared a trail through both properties and use that for trail rides.

We ride in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying the sounds the horses are making, but then Gemma says:  
“Are you okay?”  
“He would have taken Abel. I had to shoot him.”  
“I don’t disagree, but are you okay?”  
“No. That’s why I came out here. I was hoping some time with Raven would help settle my emotions.”

My phone rings in my pocket and I answer it while soothing Raven.  
“Hello?”  
“Hi baby. Is my wife with you?”  
“She is. We’re just on a ride. Do you want to talk to her?”  
“Nope, just wanted to know where she was. Do you happen to know where Tig is?”  
“With Abuelita and the kids. I have a bad feeling and wanted someone I trust with them and Felix.”  
“You planned this. Now you have a bad feeling? Should we cancel?”  
“No. We shouldn’t cancel. I’m sure everything will be fine…I just woke up this morning with a bad feeling.”  
“But then Don’s brother showed up.”  
“Yeah, so maybe he’s what was causing my bad feeling. I’m sure everything will be fine tonight, I just need Tig with the kids.”  
“Okay Veronica. Does Jax know what he’s talking about for tonight?”  
“He’s studying right now actually. I’m going to go quiz him once I’m done out here.”  
“Make sure you’re ready to take over if needed.”  
“I will be.”  
“What are you going to be wearing tonight?”  
“I was thinking clothes.”  
“Veronica…”  
“Probably a dress, Clay. Why?”  
“Can I make a suggestion?”  
“Sure. Why not?”  
“You have a blue, tea-length dress with a cowl neck and ruching. Wear that and the shoes from your commitment ceremony.”  
“How do you know about that dress? I’ve never worn it in front of you. It’s my church dress.”  
“Lyla.”  
“I don’t think it’s a good choice. It’s a great dress, but Marcus is bringing Eli.”  
“So?”  
“So, it’s Eli’s favourite dress. Wearing it in front of him seems cruel. I’ll find something else.”  
“Veronica. Wear the dress.”  
“Is that an order from the president to an old lady?”  
“Yes.”  
“Okay. I’ll wear the dress.”  
“Good girl.”  
“I’m not wearing the shoes though.”  
“Why not?”  
“Clay…I had babies a week ago. I’m exhausted and in pain. Don’t make me wear sky high heels. I promise I will choose shoes that are acceptable.”  
“Fine.”  
“Thank you. Anything else?”  
“No. Finish your ride.”  
“Thanks. Bye Clay.”

I hang up and put my phone back in my pocket as I lean forward to press my face into Raven’s neck.  
“What did Clay want?”  
“To control my every action…As usual.”  
“Tell him no. That’s what I do.”  
“I can’t, Gemma. I’m not the queen. I’m just an old lady and I already overstep frequently. When he gives actual orders I need to follow instruction.”  
“Don’t give him too much power, little girl. He will abuse it.”  
“Abuse it how?”  
“If he gets used to you taking orders, he will start giving you orders you don’t want to follow.”  
“What are you talking about, Gemma?”  
“Just…Don’t let him control you too much. That’s all.”  
“I’d really like you to explain. Please.”  
“He knows that Juice and Tig both want to fuck you. If he gets too much power over you, he will try to use you to sway them to follow his lead on votes. Clay is not a good person babygirl. He will whore you out if you follow too many orders. And not necessarily only to club members.”  
“He wouldn’t do that.”  
“He would. You are young and hot. If he thought ordering you to fuck someone would get him something he wanted, he would do it. It does not matter that you are married to his son, or that you are the mother of his grandchildren.”  
“Has he done that to you?”  
“No, but other old ladies? Yeah.”  
“Jesus.”  
“Just be careful, sweetheart.”  
“Okay.”

I lean forward to hug Raven’s neck again, whispering calming words to him because I can feel him getting antsy.   
“Okay, Raven. Let’s go.”  
I pat his neck as I sit up and nudge him with my heels.  
“Let’s go home baby. Come on.”  
Raven starts moving down the trail and Susie follows behind. I try to block everything out except Raven’s movement and breathing. By the time we get back to the barn, I’m relaxed and ready to face everything that still has to happen today. I get down and walk Raven back into the barn before untacking and brushing him. 

As we walk out of the barn, Gemma says:  
“I’m going to head home and get ready for tonight. You okay?”  
“I’m good. See you later.”

When I get inside I take my boots off and put my inside shoes on then walk into the office to find Jax. I sit on his lap and nuzzle his neck as he reads.  
“Baby…You smell like horse.”  
“Yup. I’ll shower before dinner. I needed to relax, so I went for a ride.”  
He turns his head and kisses me before saying:  
“I’m so in love with you and your brilliant brain. These treaties are fucking amazing.”  
“Do you understand them enough to talk about them later?”  
“I’m not stupid, babe.”  
“I know that Jax. I just want to make sure that you’re not blindsided later by any questions.”  
“I understand them sweetheart.”

He kisses me again and whispers:  
“Let’s go take a shower.”  
“Really having trouble with the horse smell, huh?”  
“No, actually. It doesn’t bother me at all. I just want you to be naked and in my arms.”  
“Oh…Well, in that case…Yeah, let’s go shower.”  
“The guards will be here any minute, right?”  
“Yeah, but Clarence is coming with them to give them their assignments. He knows what’s going on, and if he has questions he can talk to Ope.”

I get off his lap and pull him up with me. As we leave the room I text Clarence and tell him to let himself in when he gets here as we will be indisposed. When we get upstairs and into our bedroom, we find Opie lying on the bed. Jax closes and locks the door behind us and I climb onto the bed, straddling Opie before kissing him. He runs his hands down my back and says:  
“You smell like horse.”  
“Yes. I do. That’s one of the reasons we’re going to shower.”  
“Can I come?”  
“Yes, but I’d like to remind both of you that I’m not allowed to have sex for another five weeks.”

Jax walks up and kisses Opie and then me before saying:  
“Veronica, we are very aware you can’t have sex yet.”  
Opie says:  
“Let’s go shower. I can’t handle the horse smell.”  
“You’re going to have to get used to it. I think I might love Raven more than I love you.”  
“Oh, I know babe. I saw your face when you met him for the first time, remember? The only other time I’ve seen that look on your face is when you held Abel, Tommy, and Dee for the first time.”

Jax picks me up and carries me into the bathroom, and Opie follows us in. As I get undressed I check my phone and there’s a message from Clarence:  
‘I’ll handle it sweetheart.’

We get in the shower and Opie washes my hair and back while Jax washes the rest of me.  
“You guys do know that I’m capable of washing myself, right?”  
“Shut up love.”  
“Yes, husband.”

I help wash their bodies and hair then get close to Jax and kiss him before kissing down his body as I sink to my knees.  
“Baby, you don’t have to do that.”  
“I want to.”  
I lick his cock and circle the tip with my tongue before taking it into my mouth. I look up at him and Opie says:  
“Fuck her mouth. It’s what she’s decided she likes today.”  
Jax groans and tangles his hand in my hair, pulling a bit as he thrusts into my mouth. He is moving quickly and roughly, and I start to gag. I run my nails down his ass cheeks as he keeps thrusting and kisses Opie. When he comes, I swallow and pull off his cock. Then I turn and start licking at Opie before letting him thrust into my mouth. He fucks my mouth while Jax holds me in place. When I look up at them, Jax is biting Opie’s neck and Opie is looking down at me. When he comes I swallow and pull off before standing up. Opie kisses me, and then Jax does before Opie says:  
“What can we do for you baby?”  
“You just did it.”  
“Really?”  
“I told you earlier, I really like it when you fuck my mouth.”

Jax says:  
“When did you manage to have a conversation about this earlier?”  
I kiss him and say:  
“We talked about it after he fucked my mouth in the kitchen earlier. Apparently I didn’t taste right, so we had to adjust my flavour.”

Jax looks at Opie and Opie shrugs before saying:  
“She kissed Tig. She always tastes wrong after she kisses Tig.”  
Jax pulls my hair hard so I look at him and says:  
“Just a kiss, right wife?”  
“You want me to demonstrate for you husband?”  
He growls and says:  
“Yes.”  
I roll my eyes and pull him out of the shower. I stand in front of the bathroom counter facing him and put one of his hands on my waist and the other on my neck, and put one of my hands on his cheek.  
“We were in the kitchen and fully dressed. I kissed him, and he deepened the kiss, sliding his hand into my hair and pushing me into the counter, pinning me with his body. I wrapped my arms around his waist and ran my nails along his back. He got hard and pushed me back into the counter more. I told him we had to stop. He told me he wanted me, and that he knew I wanted him and then told me to ask for permission to fuck him.”  
“And are you planning on asking for that permission?”  
“Hell no. And I told him that. I told him that I love him but I feel like I need the two of you to breathe. And I told him I wanted him but that I would never act on it because what I feel for him is nothing anywhere near what I feel for either of you.”  
“Do I need to kill Tig?”  
“Nope.”  
“I love you.”  
“Is that a legitimate ‘I love you’ or a ploy to throw me off the scent of you planning to kill Tig?”  
“A legitimate one. You’ve had a long day baby. Are you sure you want to come to dinner? You could go be with the kids. I can make excuses for you.”  
“Clay told me I have to be there. It’s okay babe. I’m fine.”  
“Oh? What else did Clay tell you?”  
“What to wear. Speaking of which, I need to get ready. I still have cooking to do before everyone gets here.”  
“How can we help?”  
“Go get dressed. Let me do my hair and make-up.”

They leave the room and I brush my teeth before putting on my make-up and curling my hair. I braid back the front part of my hair in three small braids on one side of my head and add a silver headband. Then I walk out to the bedroom and put on a bra and panties before walking into my closet and putting on the dress Clay chose. I walk back out to the bedroom and say:  
“Someone zip me up please.”  
Jax walks over and kisses my neck as he zips up the dress and I have a flashback to Eli doing the same thing the last time I wore this dress. I walk back into the closet and put on a pair of silver flats and sapphire and diamond drop earrings. I pick up my necklace from Lilly and walk out to the bedroom, handing it to Opie so he can put it on me. He kisses behind my ear as he puts the necklace on, and I step away from him and slowly turn so they can see the whole outfit.  
“How do I look?”  
Opie says:  
“Fucking amazing babe.”  
Jax says:  
“This is what Clay picked out?”  
“Yeah…it might be an issue, and I told Clay that, but he gave me an order.”  
“Why would it be an issue?”  
“The last time I wore this dress was the morning before you guys came to Neptune…Before Eli and I broke up. I wore it to church with him and his family. He zipped it up the same way you just did, kissing my neck. He took it off of me the same way. It’s going to hurt him.”  
“He’ll be fine.”  
“Jax…I get that you have issues with Eli, but he is my friend. He is someone I care about, and this is going to hurt him…You know what? I’m just going to wear a different dress.”  
“Clay gave you an order.”  
“I frequently don’t listen to orders.”  
“Not tonight, baby, please. Your treaty ideas are brilliant, but if you piss off Clay tonight he will kill the deal, even if it’ll mean fucking the club.”  
“Ugh.”

I walk into the bathroom and grab my phone, sending a text to Eli saying:  
‘I’m sorry about the dress. I don’t want to wear it, but Clay gave an order and I have to obey.’  
He responds with:  
‘The blue dress you wore to church?’  
‘Yeah.’  
‘I love that dress. It’s fine babe.’  
‘Are you sure?’  
‘Well…no. I would prefer not having to see you wearing that dress while those assholes have their hands all over you. But you can’t piss off Clay right now, so if he gave you an order I’ll deal.’  
‘Those assholes are my husbands.’  
‘I know. I just love you, V. It hurts to see you with them.’  
‘I love you, you know.’  
‘I know. I love you. More than anything. If you ever decide you’re done with them…’  
‘You’ll be the first to know.’  
‘Good. See you later. Jax isn’t going to kill me if I kiss you, is he?’  
‘No. You’re fine.’

Jax says:  
“Is Eli going to deal?”  
“Yeah.”  
“You cannot kiss him tonight.”  
“Why?”  
“You cannot show bias towards the Mayans. If you thought about the goal of tonight instead of just Eli, you’d know that.”  
“Wow. Really?”

I start to walk out of the room and Jax says:  
“Don’t walk away from me.”  
Opie says:  
“Jax, love. Stop. She has done nothing but focus on tonight and our goals for the past three days. This was all her idea. Those treaties came out of her brain. She is the one who has busted her ass to get this dinner together, and she is the one who is following her father-in-law’s orders about what she should wear tonight.”  
Jax sighs and says:  
“You’re right. I’m sorry, V.”  
“Don’t call me that.”  
“He gets to.”  
“So do Felix, Lyla, Cliff, and Vinnie. Don’t make this about Eli.”

I walk away and head downstairs. I put an apron on over my dress and go into the dining room to set the table. Once I’m done that I check the time and see that I need to put the potatoes in. 

After I put the potatoes in the oven I turn on music and pour myself a glass of wine to drink while I make biscuits. 

By the time Clay and Gemma walk in, I’ve got the potatoes and biscuits in the oven, the carrots cooking on the stove, and I’m slicing the pot roast. Gemma pours herself a glass of wine and gets Clay a beer and they sit at the island and watch me finish dinner. Clay says:  
“Where are Jax and Opie?”  
“Somewhere in the house. Last I saw them was the bedroom, but who knows?”  
“Not tonight Veronica.”  
“What not tonight?”  
“No fighting with him tonight.”  
“Jesus Christ. Why does everyone assume I’m going to do something to screw you guys over? If I was trying to hurt the club I wouldn’t have spent the last three fucking days obsessively planning those treaties out.”

I shake my head as I put the roast in the warming tray of the oven.

“I need some air. Gemma, can you stir the carrots and take the biscuits out when the timer goes off?”  
“Yeah, baby. Of course.”

I take off the apron and pass it to her before walking out of the room. I walk out to the courtyard and curl up on a chair at the far end of the pool. I sit there, staring at the water for a while until Opie walks out and says:  
“It’s time babe.”  
“Okay.”  
I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist, breathing deeply.  
“Everything will be okay, Veronica.”  
“You don’t know that, but thank you for lying to me.”  
“Badass bitch mask, baby.”  
“Yeah. I got it. Let’s go.”

He kisses my head and we walk into the house. Gemma has put the food in the warming tray, so I walk upstairs and change my shoes to the heels that Clay originally wanted me to wear before walking towards the entryway where everyone is waiting by the door.  
“Does everyone need to be next to the door? Or should you all go sit down and let me handle greeting our guests?”

Gemma says:  
“Veronica’s right. Let’s all go sit in the living room. She is perfectly capable of greeting our guests.”

Everyone leaves the entryway, and I turn to look at the security guard when he says:  
“The Mayans were just disarmed at the gatehouse. They are approaching the door.”  
“Thank you. Please check them for weapons when they enter the house as well.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

I sit on one of the chairs in the entryway, crossing my legs and waiting for the Mayans to walk in. Once they do, the guard checks them for weapons. When he finds none, I stand up and walk over to them.   
“Thank you for coming, Marcus.”  
“Of course. The One-Niners aren’t here yet?”  
“No. Not yet. Clay, Gemma, Jax, and Opie are in the living room. I’ll take you in.”

He reaches out and grabs my hand.  
“Veronica. What is wrong?”  
“Nothing, Marcus. Everything is fine.”  
“You are not being you.”  
“I’m being an old lady and doing my job. Please don’t do this.”  
“This whole thing was your idea. Don’t tell me you’ve let them regulate you to making dinner and playing fucking hostess.”  
“Marcus, I’m just trying not to rock the boat tonight. I’ve been on edge all day. I just want tonight to go well.”  
“Who wrote the treaty agreements?”  
“Does it matter?”  
“Yes.”  
“I did. But Jax will be presenting them.”  
“Why? Why aren’t they showing that their future queen is fucking brilliant?”  
“Because no-one wants to listen to an old lady, Marcus. Every biker I know wants old ladies to shut up and look pretty. So Jax will talk about the treaties…That way maybe Laroy will get on board and Clay won’t shit all over the deal. Please don’t do this.”  
“I enjoy an intelligent old lady who speaks her mind.”  
“Really? You encourage that in your old lady? Or do you want her to shut up and take care of the kids?”  
“Valid point.”

The guard says:  
“Ma’am, the other guests have arrived at the gatehouse.”  
“Thank you. Marcus, let’s go in the living room.”

I walk Marcus and Eli into the living room and turn around to leave. As I do, Eli reaches for my hand. I squeeze his fingers then pull away, walking back into the entranceway. When Laroy walks in, the guard checks him for weapons.   
“Mrs. Winston-Teller…Tig mentioned you were hot, didn’t expect you to look this good a week after having twins.”  
“A good dress can hide a multitude of sins. You can call me Veronica. Winston-Teller is quite the mouthful.”  
“Well, Veronica, you can call me Laroy.”  
“It’s nice to meet you. Everyone is in the living room.”

I turn to the guard and say:  
“Anyone else tries to enter the property you come get me before the gate gets opened.”  
“Anyone ma’am? Even the boss?”  
“Clarence has no reason to be here this evening, so, yes. Anyone.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
“Thank you.”

As I walk Laroy into the living room, he says:  
“The guards work for you, not Jax?”  
“They work for our family. I just handle the coordination.”  
“Uh-huh. So we’re just going to ignore the fact that the daughter of a billionaire married a piss-poor biker? We’ll just pretend that Jax and Opie contribute any of the money that makes this household run?”

As we get to the living room, my phone rings. I look at the caller ID and see that it’s Sacks. I ignore the call and put my phone in the pocket of my dress. I look at Gemma and she says:  
“Everyone’s here now, shall we have dinner?”  
“Yes. Gemma, can you take everyone to the dining room? I will get the food.”  
“Of course.”

My phone rings again, it’s Alicia this time. I ignore the call and walk to the kitchen. As I’m setting the roast down on the table my phone rings again, it’s Wallace. I ignore the call and start to walk back to the kitchen when Jax grabs my wrist.  
“Your phone keeps ringing. Who is it?”  
“Sacks, Alicia, and now Wallace. Something happened to Keith.”  
“You don’t know that.”

Eli says:  
“Seriously, man? Deputy Sacks, Keith’s fiancée, and her son all try to call V in a five minute span and you don’t think it’s because something happened to Keith?”

My phone rings again and it’s Leo. I ignore the call as the guard from the front door says:  
“Ma’am? Deputy Chief D’Amato is at the gate.”  
“Let him in, but he doesn’t get past the entryway.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

I look at Gemma and say:  
“Can you get the rest of dinner while I deal with Leo?”  
“Yeah, baby.”

I look at everyone else and say:  
“Please excuse me.”

I walk into the entryway to meet Leo. When he walks in he immediately tries to hug me. I step back and say:  
“Don’t, Leo. What happened to Keith?”  
“He was making a traffic stop. Completely routine. Turns out he pulled over a Fitzpatrick…I don’t know which one. The Fitzpatrick took advantage of the opportunity and shot Keith. By the time Sacks responded to the officer down call…”  
“He’s dead…Isn’t he?”  
“Yeah, baby. I’m so sorry.”  
“When? When did he die?”  
“He pulled the Fitzpatrick over at 4:30am.”  
“I woke up at 5:00am with a feeling of dread. I couldn’t go back to sleep. It’s like the world wasn’t right anymore.”  
“Sacks got to the site at 5:15am, and Keith was gone already.”  
“Thank you for telling me.”  
“Veronica…Let me hug you.”  
“No. Please just go.”

Leo walks out and I sink into the chair I had been sitting in earlier, trying to keep myself from falling apart. Once I feel in control of my emotions I stand up and walk into the dining room.

When I get into the dining room and sit down, Clay says:  
“What did the cop want?”  
“To tell me that my step-father was killed this morning. Which would explain the bad feeling I’ve had all day.”

Eli reaches for me and I pull away.  
“Don’t touch me. Please.”  
Opie intertwines his fingers with mine, and I pull my hand free, twisting my hands together in my lap. Jax says:  
“Who killed him?”  
“It doesn’t matter. Knowing who did it doesn’t change the fact that my Dad bled to death on the side of the road, alone.”

I feel my eyes fill with tears, so I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths while playing with my necklace from Lilly. When I open my eyes again, I’m calm and Marcus says:  
“Veronica…It’s scary how quickly that mask comes up, kiddo.”  
“Me falling apart doesn’t help anything, Marcus.”

While we eat dinner Clay, Marcus, Jax, and Laroy talk business and the rest of us eat quietly. After we’ve moved on to pie, the guard from the door comes in and says:  
“Ma’am, your brother and his friends are here.”  
“Send them away.”  
“We tried ma’am. They won’t leave.”  
“Well, try harder.”  
“We didn’t think you’d want us to shoot them, ma’am.”  
“Fine. Let them in.”

I get up from the table and say:  
“Please excuse me, I have to go kill some teenage boys.”

I walk into the entryway and stand far away from the door when it opens and Duncan, Logan, and Dick walk in.  
“What the hell are you doing here?”  
Logan steps forward and says:  
“Ronnie…Your Dad died. Where else would we be?”  
“In Neptune. Where you belong. I haven’t spoken to any of you since I left. Not a single word. I called a few times, never heard back. I gave birth a week ago and didn’t even get a call from my brother! So, why the hell are you here?”

Logan walks towards me and reaches for me. I step back and say:  
“Hell no. Don’t fucking touch me. We are not friends anymore. You cannot just show up after ignoring me for months and expect to go back to how things were before…Especially you, Logan.”

Duncan says:  
“Why especially Logan?”  
He looks at us and says:  
“For fuck’s sake. Seriously? When?”  
“It’s none of your business, Duncan. I want you all to leave.”  
“We’re not going anywhere, Veronica. You are our family.”  
“I want you to leave. Duncan, you are technically related to me, yes. But we are not family. We all were family, but then you all fucking disappeared on me. You didn’t even come to my wedding! You didn’t call when your niece and nephew were born! I want you to get the fuck out of my house!”  
“Your Dad just died, Veronica! You’re not even crying! Do you even have emotions anymore? Are you still human?”

I start laughing and say:  
“You have no fucking idea how hard I work to maintain composure and keep the fucking mask up, Duncan. Not all of us can afford to be emotional wrecks all the fucking time…So yeah, maybe I’m less human than I used to be…So what? With everything I’ve been through, don’t I have the right to decide how I want to react to things?”  
“They have changed you. Broken you.”  
“Maybe. But that’s none of your damn business. Now get out of my fucking house.”  
“No.”  
“Duncan, I’ve already killed one man today, don’t make me add to my body count.”  
“You wouldn’t kill me.”

I lower my voice and say:  
“I shot Dan Lamb in the face this morning because he tried to take Abel. I have known him practically my whole life. I loved his brother. I felt nothing when I pulled the trigger and I still feel nothing. How much do you trust that feeling you have that I won’t kill you?”  
“Fine. We’re going.”  
“Thank you. Don’t come back.”

I turn to the guard and say:  
“Please accompany my brother and his friends to the gatehouse and inform everyone that they are no longer welcome on the property. If they attempt to come back, call Deputy Chief D’Amato.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

I watch as they leave the house, then turn around and walk back into the dining room. Opie and Eli both reach for me, and I say:  
“Please don’t touch me.”

Marcus says:  
“Are you alright, Veronica?”  
“Not really. If you all don’t mind, I think I’m going to leave you all to your business talk. I just need to be alone for a while. Just leave everything here as it is, I’ll take care of it when I come back inside.”

Opie says:  
“So not alone…With Raven.”  
“Does going for a ride not count as being alone? It’s not like Raven can talk.”

Laroy says:  
“Who is Raven?”  
“My horse.”  
“You’re going for a ride like that?”  
“No…I thought I’d change into jeans and a t-shirt first.”

Clay says:  
“You’re fine, baby. Go on.”  
“Thank you.”

I leave the room and head upstairs, closing the bedroom door and locking it before I get changed. When I’m done I walk out of the bedroom and back downstairs, heading towards the back of the house before putting on my boots and heading outside. When I get to the barn I turn on the arena lights and walk down to the tack room, collecting Raven’s tack, a couple of treats, and my helmet. 

I give Raven his treat and tack him up before walking him out to the arena and putting on my helmet. Raven and I are halfway through our third pass at the course when everyone comes out to watch. When we finish the course I lean down to hug Raven’s neck.  
“Good job buddy.”  
I pat his neck and feed him a treat.  
“Want to make one of them higher? Yeah, me too. Let’s try.”

I hop down and adjust one of the jumps so it’s higher than the others. Then I walk over to the fence and say:  
“Done with business and now it’s time for the entertainment?”

Jax says:  
“Yes. Everyone agreed to your treaties, love.”  
“My treaties?”  
“Marcus convinced us that we needed to give you credit for your brilliance.”

I look at Marcus and say:  
“Thank you.”  
“I told you, sweetheart. People appreciate intelligent old ladies who speak their minds.”

Raven walks up behind me and nudges my shoulder. I turn around and say:  
“Anxious to show what you can do? Okay. Let’s see it.”  
I get back onto his back and walk him over to the start of the course. I give him another treat and pat his neck before nudging him with my heels and saying:  
“Okay, Raven. Let’s go.”  
We run the course, easily making the higher jump, and when we finish I hop down off of Raven, walking him to the gate. I hear Gemma suggest that everyone go back inside, so I’m surprised when I hear someone walk into the barn after me. I put Raven in his stall and untack him before turning to put the tack back in the tack room.  
“Laroy. Not who I was expecting to follow me in here. Can you get the latch on the stall door? This saddle is heavy.”

He opens the door for me and moves aside so I can get past him. I put the tack and my helmet away and grab a brush before leaving the tack room. As I brush Raven I say:  
“So? The gangster likes horses?”  
“Not really. They kind of freak me out, actually.”  
“So, a barn…Not really the best place to hang out.”  
“I’m intrigued by you. When I got here I just thought you were a hot old lady, but then you managed to completely control yourself after finding out your Dad died, Marcus spilled that the awesome treaties were all you, and then seeing you move as one with that horse…How long have you been riding?”  
“A week? I got home from having the twins and the horses were here. A gift from a friend. He came over and taught me to ride.”  
“But…You seem so in sync with Raven.”  
“Yeah. Right away it’s like there was a connection. It’s like he knows what I’m thinking before I do.”

I finish brushing Raven and hug his neck before leaving his stall. On the way out of the barn I turn off the arena lights. Laroy and I are about halfway back to the house when suddenly I’m wrapped in a hug and I shriek.  
“It’s okay Kiddo.”  
“Jesus Christ Dad! You scared me!”  
“Sorry, baby. Why are you out here?”  
“I was riding.”  
“I should have known that…You reek.”  
I smack his chest and say:  
“Shut up!”

Laroy says:  
“I thought your Dad died this morning?”  
“I have three Dads. My biological Dad - Jake Kane, my step-dad - Balboa County Sheriff Keith Mars, and my chosen Dad - Kozik here. My step-dad is who was killed this morning.”  
“Ah. That makes more sense.”

Kozik says:  
“Where are my grandkids?”  
“With Tig, Felix, and Abuelita. They’ll be home in the morning.”  
“Why Tig? Why didn’t you call me?”  
“Tig won’t hesitate to kill anyone who tried to hurt or take my kids. That’s why.”  
“Excuse me? You think I would?”  
“I think you are a big softie, so…Yeah.”

As we walk into the house, Laroy says:  
“You call your grandma Abuelita?”  
Before I can answer, Eli laughs and says:  
“No. She calls my grandma Abuelita.”  
Laroy looks at me and then Eli and then back, confused. I say:  
“I’ve been friends with Eli since I was seven.”  
Eli says:  
“I’m also her ex.”  
“We dated for like thirty seconds, Eli.”  
“Still got to fuck you, didn’t I?”  
I roll my eyes and say:  
“Congratulations. You’re part of such a small and select group.”  
Eli laughs and says:  
“I’m pretty sure I’m the only dude to fuck both Kane sisters though, so…”  
“Nope.”  
“What do you mean, nope?”  
“I mean, you aren’t the only one who fucked Lilly and me. I thought ‘nope’ was clear.”  
“Who?”  
“Logan.”  
“Fucking Echolls…Lilly would never answer me when I asked…Who’s better?”  
“Maybe she didn’t answer you because she knew you wouldn’t be happy with the answer…”  
“Ouch, V. Really?”  
“I told him he should consider going pro and gave him Luann’s contact information.”

Jax says:  
“You’ve never told us that. Should we be worried?”  
“No. I just think the two of you have fucked enough porn stars…Don’t you?”

Before Jax can say anything, Clay says:  
“There’s only one right answer here, son. It’s ‘yes dear’.”  
Jax says:  
“Yes Veronica. You’re absolutely right.”  
“I usually am.”

I realize something and turn to face Kozik before saying:  
“How did you get past the gate? They were supposed to stop everyone.”  
Opie says:  
“I told them they could let him in. I told them they could let her in too.”  
I turn to look where he’s pointing and see Lyla clearing the dining room table. I walk in the room and say:  
“You don’t have to do that babe.”  
“I know. I just wanted to check on you, and it’s here, so I may as well. Are you okay? Leo told me what happened, and that you wouldn’t let him comfort you.”  
She puts down what she’s holding as I shake my head. She opens her arms and I walk into them, wrapping my arms around her waist and crying into her neck. She runs her fingers through my hair and whispers:  
“It’s okay V. Let it out.”

She then raises her voice and says:  
“Jax? Opie? You’re in charge of cleaning up. Ronnie and I are going upstairs.”  
“Yes, Lyla.”

She steps away from me and takes my hand before saying:  
“Let’s go upstairs. You reek like horse.”  
I laugh and nod before letting her pull me out of the room. As we walk out I hear Laroy say:  
“Was that one of the Saffron Sisters? And are they going to shower?”  
I hear Opie say:  
“Lyla is a Saffron Sister, yes. She’s also Veronica’s best friend…And yes, they’re going to shower.”  
The last thing I can hear is Jax say:  
“Lyla’s also the porn star that Opie’s fucked.”

Lyla and I both start laughing at that and laugh all the way upstairs. When we get to the bedroom we close and lock the door before going to shower. After the shower we both put on pyjamas and open the door before curling up on the bed.  
“Honestly, V. How are you?”  
“Kind of shitty. I mean, I haven’t spoken to Keith in months…He really hasn’t been much of a Dad since I left for Seattle…But…He was my one good parent growing up, you know? I think if I hadn’t left with Lianne that Keith and I would have become inseparable. I feel like I missed out.”  
“I’m sorry my love.”  
I lean in and kiss her, tangling one of my hands in her hair. She puts one of her hands on my waist and runs it up under my shirt, resting it on my ribcage and pulling me closer to her. I deepen the kiss and she moans against my mouth, shifting so she is lying on top of me. I run the hand I don’t have tangled in her hair down her back and over her ass before bringing it back up and massaging her breast. I flip us so I’m straddling her, and start kissing down her neck.  
“Ronnie…”  
I sit up and say:  
“I’m sorry, should I stop?”  
“Hell, no. I just wanted to make sure that you knew what was happening here.”  
“I’m fully aware of what I’m doing.”  
“Good. Then as you were.”

I laugh and lean down to kiss her again, gently biting her bottom lip before kissing down her neck again. I move down her body, kissing and gently biting her until I get to her breasts, biting her nipples through her shirt. She arches her back and moans my name as I run my hands up her body under her shirt and massaging the breast I’m not biting, pinching her nipple.   
“Please, Ronnie. I want your mouth on me.”  
I move further down her body, kissing and biting my way down her stomach to the waistband of her sleep shorts. I pull them off her body and spread her legs so I can lick at her pussy. She squirms under me and says:  
“More, V. Please.”  
I alternate between licking and sucking her clit and slide two fingers inside her, crooking them to hit her gspot. I pump them in and out of her slowly while adding more pressure to her clit. She starts moaning and I feel her inner walls start to shake right before she orgasms. When she comes she pulls my hair and screams. I slowly pull my fingers out of her and gently lick her clean as she comes down from her orgasm. I suck her juices off of my fingers as I move back up her body to kiss her again. 

I move off of her and she puts her shorts back on before straddling me and kissing me. When she starts kissing down my neck, I say:  
“Lyla, I can’t yet.”  
“I know how to work around stitches and trauma, V. I could get you off.”  
“I’m still bleeding, La.”  
“Yeah, that doesn’t bother me.”  
“It bothers me. Blood’s one of the only things that skeeves me out.”  
“Fair enough. You okay if we keep kissing?”  
“Yeah. I’m good with that.”

I hear a voice from the doorway say:  
“We’re good with that too.”

I roll my eyes and say:  
“Eli, Laroy…Who invited the two of you to my room?”  
“We just wanted to say goodbye.”  
“Okay. Goodbye.”  
Laroy waves and walks away, but Eli doesn’t move from his spot in the doorway. I pull Lyla’s face down to mine and kiss her with her laughing against my mouth. I feel someone kneel on the bed next to us, and Lyla moves off of me. I open my eyes and see Eli above me. I reach for him and pull him down to me, kissing him hungrily. When we pull apart he says:  
“You taste like pussy.”  
“Because right before you showed up I ate Lyla out.” “And I missed it? Dammit.”  
“Shut up, Eli.”  
“Make me.”  
I pull him down to me again, kissing him deeply and running my hand up his abdomen under his shirt, gently running my nails along his skin. He moves his mouth off of mine and down to my neck, kissing and biting. He pushes my shirt up above my breasts and moves his mouth to one of them, kissing and biting the breast tissue before gently biting and sucking on the nipple. I moan and put my hand on the back of his head, holding him to me as Lyla moves in to do the same to my other breast. I cry out when she starts sucking and I tangle my hand in her hair on the back of her head. I feel Lyla moving her hand down my stomach and under the waistband of my shorts. When she starts rubbing my clit I gasp and flex my fingers on the back of Eli’s head. He moans against my breast and slides his hand down my stomach, moving Lyla’s fingers off of my clit and replacing them with his own. He rubs hard and fast, slightly pinching my clit as he and Lyla both suck harder. I scream as I orgasm and Lyla pulls off of my breast and moves up to kiss me. Eli keeps rubbing at my clit and I whimper against Lyla’s mouth when I orgasm again. He pulls his hand out of my shorts and when Lyla pulls away from my mouth, he kisses me before saying:  
“I love you.”  
“I love you. You should go before my husband kills you.”  
“Probably a good idea.”

He kisses me again and then gets off the bed before leaving the room. I pull my shirt back down and kiss Lyla again before she says:  
“I should go too. Leo will be wondering where I am.”  
Then she whispers:  
“Can I tell him about this? It would totally get him off.”  
“Only if you film him jerking off to it. I want to watch too.”  
“Deal. What do you think is the best way?”  
“Set the camera up, tell him you’re making the video for me. Both of you lie on the bed naked and you whisper in his ear about everything we did tonight. And for the record, I want to watch all of it…The two of you stripping, him jerking off, him fucking you…I want to see it all.”  
“Do you want to fuck my boyfriend, Veronica?”  
“I have always wanted to. But Jax made it very clear that Leo was off limits.”  
“Except for that night, after you watched the video of your rape…Jax and Ope told you that you could fuck Leo. Why did you choose Logan?”  
“We were talking and he started asking questions about Ope, Jax, and I, and he got turned on. Asked me to come up to his room and lie next to him in bed and tell him about the night after the commitment ceremony, how the two of them fucked me…So I whispered in his ear and he jerked off. Listening to him moan really turned me on, so I fucked him. Then I regretted it and cried in the shower. I wanted Leo when he got back, needed him to comfort me, but they had given me permission to fuck one of them, and I had already chosen Logan.”  
“Leo wants you…Really badly. Sometimes I let him pretend that I’m you.”  
“You’re the love of his life.”  
“I know that he thinks that, yeah. But it’s not true. Our relationship will end, but he’ll love you forever. I’m okay with it. I’ve made my peace.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you…Almost as much as Leo does. For the record, once you are healed, I will be properly fucking you…Regardless of your husbands’ opinions on the matter.”

I hear Opie say from the doorway:  
“We are completely on board as long as we get to watch.”  
Lyla says:  
“That can be arranged. But Leo’s going to want to watch too.”  
“As long as he doesn’t touch, he’s welcome to watch.”  
I say:  
“What if I want him to touch?”  
“I think you’ve had your fill of forbidden touching, considering Eli just gave you two orgasms after you were told you weren’t even allowed to kiss him tonight.”  
“Fair.”  
“I’ll walk you out Lyla.”  
Lyla says:  
“Thanks Ope. Bye V.”  
“Bye La.”

As they leave the room, I get up and go in the bathroom. I strip and start the bath, putting some bubble bath in. I get in and lean back until Jax comes in and says:  
“Sit up so I can get in behind you.”

I sit up and he turns off the water and climbs in behind me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me tight against him. He whispers in my ear:  
“I hope you enjoyed tonight, little girl, because it won’t happen again.”  
“I did enjoy tonight. Do you want to hear my favourite part?”  
I feel him take a deep breath before he says:  
“Sure.”  
“Feeling Lyla come apart around my fingers while I sucked on her clit.”  
“Wait…What? You ate Lyla out?”  
“Yeah. You didn’t think both of those screams were me, did you? The first one was her.”  
“Do you still taste like pussy, or did you brush your teeth?”  
“I didn’t brush my teeth yet.”  
“You didn’t suck Eli’s cock, right?”  
“He touched me, I didn’t touch him except to kiss him and run my nails down his back.”  
“Kiss me.”

I turn my head and lean back so I can kiss him. When we pull apart he says:  
“Dear lord, my wife tastes like porn star pussy.”  
“It’s a strange night indeed.”  
“Very much so.”  
He kisses me again as he slides his hand down my stomach to my clit, rubbing gently.  
“Harder, Jax.”  
“That’s assuming my goal is to make you come, and it isn’t at the moment.”  
“Jax…”  
“Whiney girl. You just had two orgasms.”  
“But not from you.”  
“Orgasms from me are different somehow?”  
“Jackson…I want my husband to make me come. Please.”  
“I will…eventually.”  
“Jackson…”  
“Veronica…”  
“Please don’t punish me like this…It’s cruel. I know I shouldn’t have let him touch me.”  
“I’m not trying to punish you.”  
“Are you sure? Really think about it.”  
“Okay. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I do want to punish you. You know how I feel about Eli.”  
“You’re right. I know that. I already said I shouldn’t have let him touch me. I can’t go back in time and make a different choice. But I’m not going to let you torture me in order to make yourself feel better.”

I move his hand off of me and stand up before getting out of the tub. I get in the shower to rinse off the bubbles before I go over to the sink and brush my teeth. I wrap a towel around me and leave the room, grabbing pyjamas and putting them on before walking out of the bedroom. I walk down the hall into one of the guest rooms, shutting and locking the door behind me before climbing into bed.


	19. The Next Day

I feel like I had just fallen asleep when Lilly shows up. She’s lying on the bed next to me and she says:  
“Today was rough, little sister.”  
“That’s an understatement Lils. You couldn’t have given me a heads up about Dan or Keith?”  
“I don’t know everything Ronnie.”  
“Hmmm.”  
“You didn’t get Eli’s shirt off today, so you should definitely invite him over to go swimming soon.”  
“Why?”  
“He got a new tattoo. Jax is going to kill him.”  
“He didn’t.”  
“Oh, but he did. Your name, little sister. He loves you so much more than he ever loved me.”  
“Where is it?”  
“Left shoulder blade.”  
“Interesting. I’ll have to ask him about that.”  
“Ronnie, go back to your husbands.”  
“Why?”  
“Because you are about to have a doozy of a nightmare. You are going to need them, and if you don’t go back now, your screams are going to break them.”  
“I’ve had nightmares before, Lilly.”  
“This one is going to be worse, little sister. Just trust me. I know things, remember?”  
“I’ll be fine.”  
“Okay….Your call.”

Lilly disappears and then so does everything else, and I’m sitting in Opie’s truck next to Donna. It’s night-time and we’re at a red light. Suddenly there’s gunshots, and Donna is dead. The car that was behind us pulls up beside us and it’s Tig…  
“Tig killed Donna? What the hell?”  
From there it gets worse, I see every horrible thing to happen to the people I love in this world where I don’t exist. Abel is another woman’s son, born addicted to drugs with a heart condition. He gets kidnapped…Tara gets kidnapped…Clay kills Piney…Opie tries to kill Clay…Tig’s daughter is burned to death in front of him…Tig, Chibs, Opie, and Jax go to prison and Opie is killed…Kozik dies…Clay dies…Gemma kills Tara…Jax kills Gemma…and Jax…

I wake up hyperventilating and sobbing. Opie and Jax are both outside, banging on the door, begging me to open it. I get out of bed and open the door. When I look at them I start crying harder and I can’t catch my breath. Opie picks me up and carries me back to our room, Jax walking beside us, rubbing my back and saying:  
“It was just a dream, babe.”  
“It felt so real. I think it’s what would have happened if I hadn’t gone to Seattle with Lianne. If I stayed in Neptune and our paths never crossed.”

Opie puts me down on the bed and they lie down on either side of me. I run my fingers through Opie’s hair, touching the back of his head as I do, reassuring myself that his skull is intact. Jax wraps his arms around me and says:  
“What happened in the dream baby? You kept screaming.”  
Opie says:  
“A couple of those screams were really awful, Veronica. It was like someone was ripping your heart out.”  
“It’s like I saw every horrible thing that would have happened to you if we had never met. Tig killed Donna thinking he was killing you, Ope; Abel was another woman’s son and was born addicted to drugs; Abel was kidnapped; Tara was kidnapped; Clay shot Piney in the chest; Opie tried to kill Clay; Dawn was burned to death in front of Tig; you guys all went to prison and you were killed, Ope, they bashed your skull in with a pipe; Kozik stepped on a fucking landmine and died; Clay died; Gemma murdered Tara, who, by the way, was married to Jax; Jax murdered Gemma; and Jax…”  
“What baby?”  
“You killed yourself. You rode your bike into the path of a semi.”

They both tighten their arms around me and kiss my head. Jax says:  
“It was just a dream, Veronica. We’re fine.”  
“It felt real!”  
“You’ve never even met Dawn. How did you have a dream that included her?”  
“I’ve never seen a picture of her either…But I can tell you that she’s about my size, but slightly taller. She has green eyes and black hair. She dresses like a punk, and she calls Tig ‘Daddy’.”  
“Jesus Christ.”  
“I’m right, aren’t I?”  
“Yeah.”  
“I can also tell you that her death and Opie’s death were ordered by Damon Pope after Tig accidentally killed his daughter while trying to kill Laroy.”  
“Why did Tig try to kill Laroy?”  
“When Opie shot Clay, Clay blamed black so he didn’t have to explain why Opie wanted him dead. Tig lost it and decided to take it upon himself to get revenge.”  
“Why did Tig kill Donna?”  
“An ATF agent told Clay that Opie was a rat. Clay gave Tig the order to kill Ope. He just fucked up.”

I look across the room and see Lilly. She says:  
“ATF Agent Stahl will be here in a couple of months baby sister. She’s going to try that same shit. She’ll come to you first. She thinks you’re the weak link.”

Jax looks at me and then looks across the room where I’m looking.  
“What, Ronnie?”  
“Lilly says Agent Stahl will be here in a couple of months. She’s the one who put all this in motion in my dream. She says Stahl’s going to try the same technique…Claiming someone is a rat. She says that Stahl is going to come to me first because she thinks I’m the weak link.”  
“Well, I look forward to her learning that she is very, very wrong.”

I put my hand on Jax’s cheek and say:  
“I saw something else…”  
“What, babe?”  
“JT had an affair when Thomas was dying…He was in Belfast with a woman named Maureen. You have a sister. Her name is Trinity.”  
“You saw that in your dream?”  
“Yeah…You didn’t find out until Gemma caught you about to have sex with Trinity. Then Gemma and Maureen told you guys the truth.”  
“Jesus Christ.”

Opie says:  
“What else did Lilly show you?”   
“Everything. I know everything.”  
Jax says:  
“Define ‘everything’.”  
“JT wrote Maureen letters…I know everything he wrote. His inner most thoughts before he died. I know that he was writing a book. I know there’s a copy in the storage unit in a box of his things, and that Piney has a copy. I know Piney was the person he trusted most in the world. And I know that if you learn everything I know it will destroy you and tear apart our family before ultimately leading to your death. I need you to trust me when I say that you cannot listen to the words of a dead man. Please.”  
“What are you going to do?”  
“I’m going to go to Ireland and see Maureen. I’m going to get the letters and I’m going to burn them. I’m going to do the same with the books.”  
“You’re sure that I can’t read them?”  
“Reading the book will make you question everything about yourself and the club. It will drive you crazy babe. Reading the letters will tear apart every good memory you have of your family. I have all of this knowledge in my head. I’ve seen it tear you apart. I’ve seen it lead you to become SoA Jax all the time. I’ve seen it drive you to kill yourself. I can’t…I won’t, allow that to happen here.”  
“Okay, Veronica. I trust you. The key for the storage unit is in the junk drawer in the entryway. I know that’s what you’re going to ask next.”

Opie says:  
“And if Pop does have a copy of the book, it’ll be at the cabin. He’s there this week. You should go see him tomorrow.”  
“I think you mean today. It’s morning.”  
“I think I mean after you sleep for a bit.”

I roll over and put my head on Opie’s shoulder, pressing my face into his neck. When Jax doesn’t wrap himself around me, I reach back for him and say:  
“Jax…I need you.”  
He comes closer to me on the bed and wraps himself around me.   
“I thought you might still be mad at me.”  
“No. Are you still mad at me?”  
“No. I know what Eli means to you. I also know that he only took over rubbing your clit because Lyla wasn’t doing it right.”  
“Did he tell you that?”  
“No, Lyla did.”  
“You bothered Lyla?”  
“Don’t worry…She says she got your video. What was she getting a video of?”

I laugh and say:  
“Leo jerking off to her telling him about tonight.”  
“Why?”  
“She asked if she could tell him. I told her yes as long as she filmed it.”  
“Why do you want to watch Leo jerk off?”  
“How is it different than when I’m at CaraCara watching filming?”  
“Because it’s Leo.”  
“If it really bothers you, I won’t watch it.”

I feel both of them take a deep breath and then Jax says:  
“No. It’s fine. You can watch it.”  
I turn my head and kiss him before saying:  
“You know I love you more than anything, right?”  
“I know. I love you Veronica.”  
I kiss him again before turning back to face Opie. I comb my fingers through his beard before putting my hand on his neck. I feel my eyes fill with tears and he says:  
“It’s okay, Veronica. I’m fine, baby. I’m right here.”  
“It was sport for them Ope. The guards who set it up placed bets on how long you would survive…The guy who actually killed you was fucking giddy about it. They made Jax, Chibs, and Tig watch from another room.”  
“It’s not going to happen sweetheart. You being here changes everything.”  
“We don’t know that. We just know that the surrounding circumstances have changed. We don’t know that the outcome has changed. You weren’t even supposed to be arrested with them. When you saw them being arrested you punched a fucking cop so you’d go with them. You can’t…You can’t do that. You can’t leave me alone. Please.”  
“Can we tell Lilly how angry we are with her? Showing our anxious girl everything that can possibly go wrong doesn’t seem like a nice sister thing to do.”

I hear Lilly’s voice say:  
“I know he’s pissed. With good reason. But you needed to know. Some of that will still happen with you here unless you are prepared.”

“She says she knows you’re pissed, and you’re right to be. But that I needed to know because even with me here some of that will happen unless we’re prepared.”  
“So what do we do?”  
“I fix things. I get everything on Stahl, I get JT’s writings, and then we hope that we’ve changed enough things to keep everything from imploding.”  
“Okay…But first, you need to sleep.”  
“I don’t know if I can.”  
“We’re both right here, and we’re not going anywhere until you wake up.”

They both shift closer to me and tighten their arms around me. I breathe deeply and fall asleep to the sound of them quietly talking.

I wake up a few hours later to the sound of our bedroom door opening and Felix saying:  
“Sorry, but Clarence is here to see V.”  
I feel Opie grumble:  
“Tell him she’s sleeping.”  
“He says it’s urgent.”

I move slightly and say:  
“I’m awake. Tell him I’ll be right down and he’d better have coffee for me.”  
“He does. And doughnuts.”  
“Smart man. Shoo, Felix.”

He walks away and I say:  
“Let me up.”  
“But we’re comfortable. Maybe if we ignore him he’ll go away.”  
“Yeah right. I’ll go deal with Clarence, you two go see what the kids are up to.”  
“They’re your kids, babe. They’ll be where the doughnuts are.”  
“You’re probably right.”

Opie shifts so I can get up, having to climb over him to get to the edge of the bed. When I’m in the process of climbing over, I stop and kiss him.   
“I’m like…crazy in love with you. You know that right?”  
“The feeling is mutual, little girl.”  
I kiss him again and then rest my forehead on his while I run my fingers over his tattoo of my name. I whisper:  
“Please don’t leave me, Ope. I don’t think I would survive losing you.”  
“I’m not going anywhere, baby.”  
“You promise?”  
“I promise that I will do everything in my power to stay with you.”  
“That’s the best I’m going to get, isn’t it?”  
“Yeah, sweetheart. It is.”  
“Then I guess I’ll have to accept it.”

I kiss him again and then move to climb off of him, before I can he pulls me back and kisses me deeply. When we pull apart we both have tears in our eyes. He says:  
“I love you, Veronica. I couldn’t imagine a world without you, and despite all of the awful things that happened to you, I am so happy that you decided to go with Lianne. That sounds horrible…You had such a hard time in Seattle that I shouldn’t be happy about you going there…But the only thing I regret from that time is that I didn’t tell you how much I loved you from the minute I met you. I regret spending so much time pretending you didn’t matter to me rather than just being honest with you and Jax. I regret leaving you the day Abel was born, not telling Kozik to fuck off and just holding you. I regret letting Kozik drive me off when I came back and I saw your bruises. I should have protected you. I should have told you how much I loved you. I should have divorced Donna when I started loving you, so she could be free.”

I kiss him again and say:  
“Everything that happened in Seattle led me to you, Jax, and our kids. Would I prefer not knowing what Lee’s hands felt like on me? Yes. But babe, it all led us to where we are. And I wouldn’t trade that for anything.”

He kisses me and says:  
“Go talk to Clarence before he gets pissed and comes up here himself.”  
“Yeah.”

I climb off the bed and quickly change into jeans and a sweater before leaving the room. I go downstairs and find Felix in the kitchen.  
“Where is he?”  
“Out on the patio.”  
“Did he say what it’s about?”  
“He says Lilly came to him.”  
“What? That doesn’t make sense.”  
“I know you and Eli see her.”  
“So do Logan, Duncan, and Meg. But why Clarence?”  
“I don’t know, V. Tig’s out there too…He’s really upset.”  
“Okay. Thanks Felix.”

As I walk towards the door to the patio, I hear Lilly say:  
“I showed Tig what I showed you. He needed to see it.”  
“Jesus Christ, Lils. Are you trying to break him?”  
“He needed to see! You need him on your side when you talk to Clay and Gemma if you have any chance of stopping Jax’s spiral into suicide. Tig needed to know!”  
“Did you show him everything?”  
“You mean, did I show him Dawn?”  
“Yes.”  
“Yeah, I did. I regret it, but he needed to know.”  
“And Clarence? What did you show him?”  
“Everything, so he can help you stop it.”

I step out onto the patio and see Tig sitting on a chair looking heartbroken. Clarence is sitting on a chair across the table from him and they are talking quietly. I walk over and sit on Tig’s lap, wrapping my arms around him and pressing my forehead to his.  
“I’m so sorry, Tiggy. You know we’re not going to let any of that happen right?”  
“Does she bring you horrible dreams frequently?”  
“No. Usually dreams with Lilly are just conversations. I see her when I’m awake too.”  
“You saw what I saw?”  
“According to Lilly she showed us all the same thing.”  
“So you saw Dawn die?”  
“Tig, we won’t let it happen.”  
“Describe what you saw…please.”  
“Tig…”  
“Please Veronica.”  
“Fine. I saw you, chained to a metal pole in a train yard, and Dawn in a metal box that was filled with dead bodies. I saw them pour gasoline on her and light her on fire while she was alive. I heard her screams and watched you yelling and begging them to stop. I watched you cry and tell her that you loved her. Then I watched you kill the man who let it happen and the cleaner.”  
“You’ve never seen Dawn. What does she look like?”  
“She’s beautiful. She must get it from Colleen.”  
“Brat.”  
“She has curly black hair and green eyes. She dresses a bit like a punk, always wearing black eyeliner and nail polish. She calls you Daddy.”  
“How old is she?”  
“Looks like she’s around my age.”  
“Yeah, a year older.”

I lean in and whisper in his ear:  
“You know that makes the dirty old man thing even worse, right? How very much you want to fuck me, while knowing that I’m younger than your daughter?”  
“Veronica…”  
“No. I’m going to take a couple of minutes here and make you forget that dream, because we aren’t going to let it happen. You, Clarence, and I are going to do everything we can to make sure that future never happens.”  
“How?”  
“We know everything that led to it, honey. We know all the secrets that Clay is desperate to protect. So we help him protect them, we destroy the evidence. And we use our brains before our bullets.”  
“How does helping Clay help us?”  
“If Clay is sure his secrets are safe, he doesn’t kill Piney. If he doesn’t kill Piney, Opie doesn’t try to kill Clay, if Opie doesn’t try to kill Clay, Clay doesn’t lie about it being black…Without that lie, you don’t try to kill Laroy and accidentally kill Pope’s daughter. So we help Clay keep his secrets.”

He whispers in my ear:  
“His secrets would tear the club and your family apart.”  
“His secrets would be the end of everything…Yeah.”  
I kiss him and say:  
“We won’t let Dawn die, Alexander.”  
“You’ve never called me that.”  
“Well…it’s your name.”  
“True, but usually only Colleen calls me that…When she’s angry with me.”  
“So I shouldn’t, then?”  
“No, you can. But only like this, okay? Only when I’m allowed to touch you and kiss you.”  
“Deal.”

Clarence says:  
“So why us? Why did Lilly show all that to us and not…Jax or Opie?”  
“Because Jax learning everything kills him…And Opie wouldn’t be able to keep it from him.”  
“So what do we do?”  
“I’m going to get the copies of the book today, then I’m going to go talk to Clay and Gemma…Tig, you should come with me.”  
“And the letters?”  
“I need to go to Belfast and see Maureen.”  
“I’ll arrange that trip, and I’ll go with you.”  
“Thank you, Clarence.”

Clarence gets up and kisses me on the head before he walks away. Once he’s gone I get up off of Tig’s lap, hold out my hand, and say:  
“Come with me.”  
He takes my hand and stands up to follow me. I lead him into my office and close the door before I push him down onto the couch. I straddle his lap and kiss him before saying:  
“What do you need, Alexander?”  
“You.”  
“I can’t have sex yet. I’m still healing from having the babies.”  
“Clay said you fucked Lyla last night.”  
“I ate her out. My mouth works fine.”  
He groans and I can feel his arousal under me. I rock my hips against him and kiss him before taking my sweater off, leaving just my black lace bra on. He keeps his hands on my thighs, flexing his fingers as he says:  
“Jesus, Veronica…You’re beautiful.”  
“You can touch me. It’s okay.”  
He growls and runs his hands up my body, gently running the fingers of one hand over my tattoo before grabbing my breasts, flicking his thumbs over my nipples. I rock my hips against him and he moans.   
“Veronica…”  
“I’m not allowed to touch you Tig. You’ll have to take care of it yourself.”  
“Will you stay?”  
“Yeah.”

I stand up and pull him up with me before I push his cut off his body and pull his shirt over his head. I run my hands over his chest and abdomen while I kiss him. He reaches out and undoes my jeans.  
“Tig, I can’t.”  
“I just want to see you. Please, baby.”  
“Fine.”  
I undo his belt and pants before pushing my jeans off my body, leaving me standing there in my black, lacy bra and matching cheeky panties. He just stares for a moment, until I grab his hand and put it on my hip.  
“You can touch.”  
“I want to taste you. Please.”

I look in his eyes and see the heartbreak and grief that’s still there after that dream, so I kiss him and say:  
“Do what you need to Alexander.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Tig. I love you. Do what you need to in order to feel better.”

He kisses me and then moves his mouth down my neck, biting my collarbone as he undoes my bra and pulls it off of my body. He moves his mouth down, kissing and biting until he gets to my nipple. He bites and sucks at my nipple and then says:  
“Is it weird that I want to drink your breastmilk while I jerk off?”  
“Is it weird? Yes. Is it the weirdest sexual thing I’ve ever heard you say? No.”  
“Can I?”  
“Yes.”

————————  
Jax’s Perspective  
————————

Opie and I are lying in bed talking about Veronica and this crazy dream she had when suddenly there’s a blonde teenage girl between us. Opie moves back away from her before saying:  
“Holy shit.”  
Then he rolls his eyes and relaxes, saying:  
“Lilly?”

The blonde laughs and says:  
“Hi boys. It’s about time you were able to see me. I’ve only been trying to talk to you for years.”  
“Why did you have to show her that dream? None of it’s going to happen. You just hurt her for no reason.”  
“Oh, Jax…No, babe. I didn’t. The majority of things I showed my baby sister, Clarence, and Tig will happen even with Ronnie here. If she isn’t successful at helping the past stay buried…You both will die in the horrific ways she saw in her dreams. Tig’s daughter will burn to death. Gemma, Clay, Kozik, Piney…They’ll all die. And what I didn’t show Ronnie because I didn’t think she could handle it on top of everything else, is that Leo and Eli will die too. She’ll be left alone. If these events happen, my sweet sweet sister will give custody of the kids and control of her estate to Lyla, and then she will shoot herself in the head the morning of your funeral, my dear Jax. I didn’t show her that. I don’t want her to know her future. You have to help me prevent my sister’s death.”

I can’t speak to respond to her, so Opie says:  
“Why Clarence and Tig? Why not us?”  
“Clarence will protect Ronnie no matter what, and Tig is a huge lynchpin in everything that goes wrong. Ronnie needs him on board with her plan to stop it, otherwise, she’ll be fighting him the whole time. I couldn’t show Jax…him finding out the truth is what kills him. I couldn’t show you, because you wouldn’t be able to keep it from him.”

I say:  
“So you showed Tig how he’s the catalyst for his daughter’s death and Opie’s death?”  
“Yes.”  
“Did you show him them dying?”  
“Yes.”  
“So are you up here, talking to us right now so we don’t go downstairs and realize that my wife is allowing him to use her body for comfort?”  
“My sister is doing what she needs to do to keep him from spiralling into grief and guilt. Don’t look at me like that. I had to show him. She needs him on her side. It’s the only way she can prevent this.”

I can see Opie getting angry, and I know I am too, then Lilly says:  
“Boys…She doesn’t like this anymore than you do. She’s lying on the couch in her office, wearing only her panties. Tig is lying on top of her, drinking breastmilk and jerking off. She is petting his hair and staring at the ceiling, crying. It’s heartbreaking…No woman should be crying when there is a cock that large and beautiful near her. But she hasn’t even looked at him since he took his pants off. She’ll be upstairs in a few minutes. She’s going to need you. Both of you.”  
“She told us to go find the kids.”  
“The kids are fine. They’re in the barn with Abuelita, Elliott, and Tristen.”

Opie and I don’t speak for a moment, so Lilly says:  
“Guys…I want my sister to die when she is an old lady, in her bed, surrounded by her kids and grandkids. I want her to have you, the loves of her life, until you are old and grey and can’t ride or get it up anymore. I don’t want my sister to die before she turns twenty-five. I want you all to be able to watch your kids and grandkids grow up. She is going to need you to just support and love her while she tries to prevent everything from falling apart.”

She looks towards the door and says:  
“Tig is leaving. Ronnie has a little while before she has to leave to fix this. Take care of her.”

Lilly disappears and Opie says:  
“I wonder if she was that demanding when she was alive?”  
“Probably.”

——————————  
Veronica’s Perspective  
——————————

When I walk into the bedroom to take a shower, I expect the guys to be gone, but they are both lying on the bed. I walk past them and into the bathroom, stripping as I go. I step into the shower and turn the water to really hot before quickly washing my body and hair. Then I sit on the floor under the spray and cry. I hear Jax and Opie come into the bathroom, and then Jax is kneeling next to me in the shower with his arms wrapped around me.  
“Shh…My love. It’s okay.”  
“It’s not…I let Tig…”  
“Drink breastmilk and jerk off onto you? Yeah, not the weirdest sexual thing he’s ever done.”  
“How did you know?”  
“Lilly came to us. She was lying on the bed between us. It was the weirdest thing. Says she’s been trying to talk to us for years.”  
“She came to you? Wow…She’s been busy the past twelve hours.”  
“Was she always so very demanding, or has she gotten worse with death?”  
“She was always that demanding. She always had the tendency to use all the air in the room.”

We’re both quiet for a moment and then I say:  
“I love Tig, I wanted to comfort him…But as soon as he started taking off my clothes and his clothes my skin started crawling. I cried the whole time he was on top of me.”  
“Did he notice that you were crying?”  
“No. He realized it after. He apologized. I just kissed him and told him I was fine…What else could I do? I didn’t want to make his mental state worse.”  
“Everything is okay, baby.”  
“It’s not. I touched him without permission. I let him touch me. It’s not like last night when I got all worked up with Lyla and then Eli was just there and I wanted him…I took Tig into the office with the intention of letting him use my body for comfort. “  
“It’s okay, Veronica. We’re both okay with what happened. Let’s get out of the shower so we can both hold you until you need to leave. And for the record, you always want Eli. Getting worked up with Lyla just made it impossible for you to say no to Eli.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be, babe. It’s okay. I’m sorry I got so upset last night, and I’m really sorry I tried to use orgasm with-holding as a punishment. You’re right, it’s torture and it’s not okay.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you. And I will love you for the rest of my life.”  
“That’s going to be a very long time right?”  
“Lilly says she’d like Opie and I to stay alive until we’re old, grey, unable to ride, and unable to get it up.”  
“I’d like that too. I want to watch our kids and grandkids grow up…Jax?”  
“Yeah, babe?”  
“Love me. Please.”  
“You’re still healing. Tara will kill me if I hurt you.”  
“I don’t care that I’m still healing. I need you. Please, husband…Love me.”  
“Okay, Veronica. Let’s get out of the shower.”  
“Okay.”

We both stand up and turn off the shower. When we step out, Opie hands a towel to Jax and wraps me up in a towel and his arms.   
“Are you okay, baby?”  
“I will be. Come to bed with us. Love me.”  
“You’re healing still.”  
Jax says:  
“Yeah, that’s what I said. She doesn’t care.”

I step out of Opie’s arms and drop the towel before reaching for the waistband of his pyjama pants.  
“I need you. Please. Show me how much you love me. I will deal with Tara if my healing gets derailed. Please…Besides, she said no strenuous exercise and I learned how to ride and jump horses this week. Pretty sure if something was going to derail my healing, it would be that.”  
“Fair point.”  
I grin as I pull his pyjama pants down and wrap my hand around his cock as he steps out of his pants. He kisses me and says:  
“Let go so I can pick you up.”  
“Yes sir.”

I let go of his cock and wrap my arms around his neck. He picks me up and slides into me in the same movement. I moan and say:  
“Fuck me against the wall Ope. Don’t be gentle with me.”  
He growls and walks me into the wall, pressing me up against it and thrusting quickly and roughly, slamming me into the wall with each thrust. I run my nails down his chest, leaving red lines in their wake and pull his hair hard enough to make him gasp. He reaches down and pinches my clit while biting the sensitive spot where my neck meets my shoulder.  
“Let go and come for me baby.”  
He bites me again and I scream out his name as I come. He kisses me as I feel him jerk inside of me as he comes. He whispers in my ear:  
“God, I missed this.”  
“It’s a really good thing you got fixed, love, because I really want to do that again.”

He laughs and says:  
“I think Jax wants a turn.”  
“I meant in general, not immediately.”  
He kisses me and pulls out as he puts me down. He walks over to where Jax is standing and kisses him before walking past him to the shower. 

Jax walks over to me and kisses me before saying:  
“Is it my turn now?”  
“Please.”  
“Are you still okay?”  
“Better than. Fuck me Jax.”  
“Do you have a preference?”  
“Dealer’s choice. I just want your cock inside of me.”  
He growls and picks me up, hoisting me over his shoulder before slapping my ass. I squeal as he carries me into the bedroom and drops me on the bed. He climbs over me and kisses me while running his hands down my chest and stomach.   
“I’ve missed you Veronica.”  
“I’ve been right here.”  
“I’ve missed getting to show you how much I love you. How much I need you. It’s been months.”  
“I’ve missed this too. Love me, Jackson.”  
He kisses me and I lift my legs to wrap them around him, angling my hips to allow him to slide inside of me. We make love slowly and gently, kissing the whole time. When we orgasm together, I’m crying and so is he.   
“I love you, husband.”  
“I love you, wife.”  
“You realize that’s the first time we’ve made love since before we got married?”  
“Oh, I am very aware of that, love.”  
“We decided to be together and then everything went berserk and I feel like we haven’t really gotten a chance to be together…And now I have to go to Ireland, so I’ll be away from you again.”  
“It’s only a short trip, love.”  
“Come with me. We’ll call it our honeymoon.”  
“I can’t, Ronnie. They won’t let me in.”  
“Ugh…Curse you and your criminal record.”  
“I think you should get Dick and Logan to go with you.”  
“I’m sorry, I don’t know anyone with those names.”  
“Veronica…”  
“No.”  
“Take Dick and Logan. Don’t roll your eyes at me. They love you. Forgive them for being asshole teenagers.”  
“Ugh.”

I kiss him and say:  
“I love you. Get off me. I have shit to do.”  
He laughs and says:  
“Yes ma’am.”  
He kisses me and climbs off of me, pulling me off the bed with him.  
“You need to shower again.”

After we’ve showered and I’ve gotten dressed, I kiss them both and go to find Abuelita and the kids. I find them all in the kitchen eating a snack.  
“Sorry Abuelita.”  
“No, you’re fine my darling. We just came in. We were out with the horses and Elliott and Tristen. The twins have enough pumped milk for three more feedings, so if you are going out, now is a good time.”  
“I am, I have to go see Piney and Clay. I won’t be long, and Jax and Opie should be down any minute.”  
“Eli is coming for dinner tonight…I hope that’s okay.”

Before I can respond, Jax appears in the doorway and says:  
“Of course it’s okay, Abuelita.”  
“Thank you Jax.”  
I smile at Jax before kissing all the kids and Abuelita. As I walk out of the room, Jax grabs me and kisses me.  
“I love you.”  
“I love you, Jackson. Thank you for letting Eli come over.”  
“He’s always welcome…I mean, he’d be more welcome if he’d keep his hands off my wife, but he makes you happy, so I’ll deal.”  
I kiss him again and say:  
“I have to go talk to my lovely fathers-in-law. I’ll be home later. Play with the kids. Give Abuelita a break, okay?”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

As I walk through the house I text Eli:  
‘I hear you’re coming for dinner. Bring your swimsuit. We’ll go swimming and you can explain the tattoo of my name to my husbands.’  
‘How did you?…Lilly. Goddamn that ghost.’  
‘How big is it?’  
‘It may rival my Lilly tattoo.’  
‘They are going to kill you.’  
‘Possibly. I hear from Clarence that you’re going to Ireland. Want company?’  
‘Oh yeah, that’ll go over well.’  
‘They can’t go with you. I don’t want you going alone.’  
‘Jax wants me to take Dick and Logan. They may be better options. My goal is to avoid the IRA, but if I run into them, they’re fucking racist.’  
‘Yeah, but at least I have the Catholic thing going for me.’  
‘Yeah, the good Catholics are going to hate me.’  
‘Probably. But when have you ever cared what people thought of you?’  
‘I care, Eli.’  
‘Why? You’re fucking amazing. To hell with anyone who thinks otherwise.’  
‘I love you.’  
‘I love you too, V.’

I grab the storage unit key as I walk through the entryway and open the door to go outside. As I step outside, I see Tig pull in. He throws a helmet at me and says:  
“You ready, sweetheart?”  
“Yeah.”  
As I walk closer to him he focuses on my neck.  
“Nice bite marks.”  
I shrug and don’t say anything. He says:  
“Jax or Opie?”  
“Does it matter? One of my husbands bit me while fucking me. It’s a thing. It happens.”  
“Who likes it rough, baby?”  
“Me. They both play along.”  
“Who does it best?”  
“Ope. He does the rough thing really well.”  
“I thought you weren’t allowed to have sex yet.”  
“I’m not. I decided that I didn’t care.”  
“Did you just fuck Ope, or Jax too?”  
“Tig…”  
“Sorry. Get on. Where to first?”  
“Piney’s cabin.”  
“Okay.”

I get on the bike and wrap my arms around his waist, with one of my hands up on his chest. When we stop at a light, he intertwines his fingers with mine for a moment. When we get to the cabin and get off the bike, we take off our helmets and he pulls me to him before kissing me.  
“I’m sorry about this morning, Ronnie.”  
“It’s okay.”  
“No, it’s not. I took what I needed and ignored the fact that it was upsetting you.”  
“I let you. I’m okay, Alexander. I promise.”  
I lean in and kiss him again before saying:  
“Let me go talk to Piney. I’ll be right back.”  
“I’m coming with you.”  
“I need you for the conversation with Clay, not Piney. I’m okay, Tig.”

I walk up to the front door and knock. When Piney opens the door he says:  
“That asshole had his hands on you again.”  
“Hi to you too, Pop. Can I come in?”  
“You can, he can’t.”  
“Tig’s waiting out here. Don’t worry.”

We walk inside and Piney says:  
“Do you want a drink sweetheart?”  
“I’ll get it. Do you want something, Pop?”  
“Water, love.”  
“Okay. Sit down. I’ll be right back.”

I walk into the kitchen see a complete disaster. I shake my head as I get the waters and walk back to the living room, sitting on the couch next to Piney with my legs curled under me.  
“Pop, why didn’t you tell me you were having a hard time with housework? I’ll hire someone to come once a week.”  
“I don’t need your money.”  
“I’m not giving you money, old man. I’m offering help. Don’t be so fucking stubborn.”  
“My son is just as stubborn. Or have you forgotten because you’re spending all your free time with that asshole out there?”  
“Opie is not nearly as stubborn as you, Pop. And you aren’t being fair right now. Just because I spend time with Tig does not mean that I don’t love Opie, or spend time with him. Tig is my friend.”  
“He wants to fuck you.”  
“So par for the course with my friends then.”  
“What?”  
“Logan, Dick, Eli, Leo, Lyla, Juice…They all want to fuck me. Why should Tig be different?”  
“You don’t have any friends that don’t want to fuck you?”  
“Elliott Oswald…I guess? Marcus Alvarez. Felix. Clarence.”  
I shrug.  
“What about Chibs and Bobby?”  
“They’re not really my friends. I think they think of themselves more as uncles.”

He wraps his arm around me and I rest my head on his shoulder.  
“I’m sorry, sweet girl.”  
“I love Opie, Pop. With every fibre of my being. I would never do anything to hurt him. I legitimately don’t think I would survive losing him.”  
“He loves you. I’ve never seen him love someone the way he loves you."

We sit there quietly for a moment, then he says:  
“I know you didn’t come over just to cuddle with your husband’s father. What do you need, Veronica?”  
“I need the copy of JT’s book that you have.”  
“How do you know about that?”

Before I can answer him, Lilly appears, sitting on his lap.  
“I showed her what happens if Jax reads that book, Piney. She needs to get rid of it.”  
“Lilly…You troublemaker. JT wanted Jax to read it.”  
I say:  
“JT wouldn’t want Jax to end up killing himself, Pop. He will if he reads that book and letters from JT. Everything will spiral out of control. The club will be torn apart, my family will be destroyed, and everyone I love except my kids will end up dead. I watched you, Opie, Clay, Gemma, Juice, Kozik, Tara, and Jax all die. I can’t let that happen. I have to protect Clay’s secrets.”  
“How? How did my son die in this future?”  
“A pipe to the back of the skull in prison. It was sport for them, Pop. The guards placed bets on how long he would survive. They made Tig, Chibs, and Jax watch from the other room.”  
“And Jax?”  
“Suicide. Drove his bike into the front of a semi.”  
“And how did you cope with that?”  
“Lilly didn’t show me, but let’s face it…Losing them both? I gave my kids and money to Lyla and shot myself in the fucking head.”

I look at Lilly and say:  
“I’m right, aren’t I? And judging by the look on your face, there’s more you aren’t telling me…Leo and Eli die too, don’t they?”  
“Yeah, little sister. They do.”

I look at Piney and say:  
“Pop…I need the book so I can burn it, and I need a promise from you that you will never talk to Jax about JT’s dreams for the club. I will steer him in that direction, but he can’t listen to a dead man. Please?”  
“Yeah. Okay sweetheart. It’s on the shelf in my bedroom closet. In the manila envelope.”  
“Thank you, Pop.”

I get up to get the book, but halfway to his bedroom I turn around and say:  
“How long have you been seeing Lilly?”  
“Since she died. She showed up the next day and told me that her little sister was going to be the love of my son’s life…It was just going to take them a couple of years to stop being fucking idiots.”  
I laugh and say:  
“Well, that’s certainly true, isn’t it? For the record, I loved him the second I met him.”  
“He fell in love with you the same day. You’re both idiots.”  
“I know. I’m trying to make up for it now by doing whatever I can to keep him alive until he is an old man.”  
“Veronica…What happens if Jax dies but Opie doesn’t?”  
“I mourn, Opie mourns, our kids mourn…And then Opie and I take the kids and move somewhere safe to live out the rest of our days.”  
“And if Opie dies and Jax doesn’t?”  
“Same deal, I guess…Except…”  
“Except while you love Jax an insane amount, he’s not the love of your life.”

I can’t catch my breath after he says that and I feel my eyes fill with tears.  
“It’s okay, sweetheart. You love him…almost as much as you love Opie. It’s okay.”  
“I don’t think I would survive losing Ope. I know I would survive losing Jax. Does that make me an awful wife? I married Jax…Shouldn’t he be the one I don’t think I can live without?”  
“In the eyes of the club and your family, you married them both. Sweetheart, it’s okay that you love one more than the other. No-one would hold that against you.”  
“Jax might.”

Lilly says:  
“No, he wouldn’t. He knows that you love him, but that Opie is the love of your life. He’s figured it out. He’s okay with it.”  
“I don’t know if I am.”

I turn and walk to the bedroom and grab the envelope from the shelf in the closet. I look inside to make sure it’s the book, then I leave the room. I walk over to Piney, kiss his cheek and say:  
“Thanks, Pop.”  
“You’re welcome sweetheart.”

I leave the house and shove the book in my bag on my way over to Tig. When I get to him he looks concerned and puts his hand on my cheek.  
“You’ve been crying. What’s wrong, baby?”  
“Nothing. I’m fine. Let’s go deal with Clay.”  
“Veronica.”  
“Tig. It’s not something I want to discuss with you, okay?”  
“Did Piney do something to upset you?”  
“No. Never.”  
“Okay…Let’s go.”

I kiss his cheek and we get on the bike, my arms tight around him, both hands on his chest and my head resting on his back. When we get to Clay and Gemma’s we go to the back door and knock before walking in.  
“Gemma? Clay?”

Clay walks into the room wearing pyjama pants and no shirt. He walks over and hugs me, saying:  
“Hi baby.”  
“Hi Clay. Sorry for interrupting. We’ll make it quick and get out of your hair.”  
“It’s alright. I was a just taking a nap. Gemma’s not here.”  
“That’s okay. I’d rather not be in the room while she’s actively plotting my murder anyways. Can we sit?”  
“Of course. Let’s go in the living room.”

Once we’re all sitting down in the living room, Clay says:  
“What is this about, Veronica?”  
“JT…Well, partially. Hear me out before you get angry okay? I’m not against you here.”  
“Okay.”  
“I know that JT wanted SAMCRO out of guns. I know that you and he fought about it in the days leading up to his death. I know that you and Gemma were having an affair long before JT died. I know that JT had an affair with a woman in Belfast while Thomas was dying. I know he suspected that you and Gemma were going to kill him. I know that one of the ways he suspected he would die was bike failure. I know he only ever let Lowell Sr work on his bike, and I know Lowell Sr disappeared a few days after JT’s death. I know that Lowell Sr didn’t just disappear, he’s buried in a shallow grave with two Mayans on the side of a freeway. I know in eight-ish months, that grave will be disturbed by construction and you will have to make up a story about how Lowell Sr was a traitor. Do us all a favour and move him before then? The whole thing sends Lowell Jr into a tailspin and he’s one of the best mechanics you have.”  
“How do you know all of this?”  
“Meddling ghost. I agree with you, Clay. No-one needs to know any of this, especially not Jax. Jax finding out any of this will throw him into a tailspin that will destroy SAMCRO and our family and ultimately cause the death of…everyone. The only thing I told Jax is that he has a sister. And that’s only because I had to explain why I have to go to Belfast. Also, he and Trinity deserve a chance to know each other.”  
“Why Belfast?”  
“The bitch JT had an affair with has letters he wrote her that detail his suspicions about you and Gemma. I need to get them from her and burn them before she gets the bright idea to send them to my husband.”

He’s just staring at me, so I say:  
“JT was writing a book. There are two copies, one is still in the storage unit, we’re going there after this to get it. The other was with Piney. It’s inspirational, aspirational crap that will make Jax question every fucking decision he makes. He can’t be an effective president while he’s listening to the advice of a dead man…Especially a dead man who was not effective at his job while he was alive. I will be burning both copies of the books. Jax will not see them.”

He’s still just staring, so I say:  
“In a couple of months an ATF agent is going to come to town. Her name is Stahl and she is a vengeful bitch. She wants the Irish and will destroy SAMCRO to try to get them. First she’s going to try to convince you that someone is a rat…There won’t be a rat, she’s making it all up. Next she’ll frame Gemma for two murders, including the murder of Cameron Hayes’ son, causing him to lose his shit and kill Half-Sack, the prospect who isn’t a prospect yet…He’ll also try to kidnap the closest SAMCRO child, which, let’s face it, will be one of mine since I have a million.”

He’s looking at me with new-found interest, so I say:  
“I do have an idea of how to get off the ATF’s radar for now, and to get rid of the seriously shitty relationship with the Irish…Honestly, how are you guys not making any money doing this?”  
“What’s your idea?”  
“Mossad.”  
“Explain.”  
“They currently run guns to the East Coast. They’re looking for a distribution chain in the West, and can easily meet our supply demands for our new treaty partners on top of supplying their contacts. They also supply a better selection of hardware, and because they are the Israeli government, the guns are shipped in containers marked as fucking diplomatic envelopes, which means they never get touched by customs.”  
“You have a connection?”  
“Clarence does. He can get you a sit down.”  
“You trust him?”  
“More than anyone else in the world.”  
“Arrange it.”

I look at him and say:  
“Clay…Tig and I both got this information delivered by Lilly. Piney doesn’t know shit. He hasn’t read the book in years. He’s promised that he won’t say anything to Jax. All I had to do was describe how Opie dies if we don’t succeed at keeping the past buried. I had to watch everyone I love except Tig and my kids die horribly. All because Jax listened to a dead man instead of the family that was right in front of him. He will never see the books or the letters, and he will never find out the secrets from us. I will do everything in my power to keep my family safe and intact. I know you have a tendency to try to kill people that know your secrets, but I am on your side.”

He puts his hand on my cheek and says:  
“I would never try to kill you.”  
“Yeah, that’s what you said to Tara in the alternate future. And then you tried to have her killed. Then Gemma murdered her.”

He looks at Tig and says:  
“Get out. I need to have a conversation with my daughter-in-law in private.”

Tig touches my hand and I slightly nod at him. He stands up and leaves the house. Clay stands up and holds out his hand to me.  
“Come on, little girl. Let’s see how far you’re willing to go to keep your family safe and intact.”  
I stand up and let him lead me into the bedroom. Once we’re inside, he closes and locks the door and says:  
“Take off your clothes.”  
“Can I just remind you that you killed Lee for raping me?”  
“I’m not going to force you. Everything you’re doing is of your own free will.”  
“Yeah, Lee used to say that when he had a knife against my throat too. Because that’s what this is, right? Fuck you or you won’t believe I’m on your side and you’ll try to have me killed?”  
“I just want to fuck your mouth baby. You just gave birth, your pussy is still healing.”  
“If you just want to fuck my mouth, why do I need to take my clothes off?”  
“Because I want to look at you. Take your fucking clothes off.”

I take a deep breath and pull my shirt off, quickly undoing my pants and stepping out of them before I can think about it.   
“Bra and panties too. I’m going to fuck your mouth then watch you get yourself off.”

I close my eyes and undo my bra, letting it fall off of my body before pulling my panties down and stepping out of them. I stand very still as he runs his hands over my body and says:  
“On your knees. And open your fucking eyes. I want you to look at me so you can’t pretend I’m someone else.”

I open my eyes and glare at him as I drop to my knees and open my mouth.

“Now, be a good girl. No biting.”  
My eyes are mid-roll when he shoves his cock into my mouth. I keep my eyes on his as he thrusts harder and faster than I can handle, causing me to gag. By the time he comes I’m crying. He says:  
“Swallow.”  
I swallow and he pulls his cock out of my mouth.  
“Good girl. Lie on the bed.”  
I lie on the bed where he gestures for me to, and he says:  
“Spread your legs. You’re going to masturbate for me, and if I don’t think you’re doing a good enough job, I will fuck you until you scream. Do you understand me?”  
“Yes, sir.”  
I spread my legs and watch as he licks his lips when he sees my pussy. I start rubbing my clit in hard, fast circles and I think about Opie and how he fucked me against the wall earlier. When I get close, I twist my nipple and pinch my clit and come screaming, gushing fluid on the bed. Before I realize what’s happening, Clay’s mouth is on me, licking me clean. When his tongue hits my sensitive clit I writhe under him involuntarily, I feel him smirk against me, then he starts sucking on my clit and he shoves two fingers inside of me, pumping them in time with his sucking and licking. I start crying, and when my body orgasms from his touches, I whimper. He pulls off of me and pulls his fingers out before he says:  
“You did so good…I think I’ll fuck you as a reward.”  
“Please don’t. I’m still healing.”  
“Oh…Did I make it sound like you had a choice? I will wear a condom though, since I know your husbands both got fixed. Wouldn’t want an unexplained pregnancy popping up.”  
“Thank you for your consideration, Dad.”  
“Oh, if you’re going to start being snarky, I won’t be gentle and you can call me Daddy and explain to Jax and Opie why you have bruises when you get home later.”  
“I’ll be good, sir.”  
“Good girl.”

I watch him put a condom on, then he says:  
“Flip over.”  
I do as he says and he kneels on the bed behind me before grabbing my hips and slamming into me. He’s not gentle, and I cry out in pain several times. He fucks me until he can’t anymore, then pulls out and says:  
“Sit on my lap and work for it.”  
“I could just suck your dick, Clay.”  
“I am going to come in your pussy Veronica, so ride my fucking cock.”

I have tears running down my face when I straddle him and sink down on his cock. I set a punishing pace as he bites and sucks on my breasts. When he comes he moans my name and pulls my face to his, kissing me deeply, shoving his tongue in my mouth. When he finally lets me go, I say:  
“Are we done, sir?”  
“For today.”  
I get off of him and quickly get dressed, leaving the bedroom and the house before he can stop me. I’m still crying when I get out to Tig. He takes one look at me and says:  
“I’ll fucking kill him.”  
“No. Just get me out of here. Please, Alexander.”  
“Okay baby.”

We get on the bike and drive away. We only get about a block before I make Tig pull over so I can throw up.   
“Let me kill him, Veronica. Please.”  
“No. I made a voice recording on my phone. Not quite the smoking gun the video of a rape is, but still pretty damning.”  
“And what are we doing with that?”  
“I haven’t decided yet. Let’s go get that other copy of the book…I want to go home, Tig.”  
“I’ll take you home, then I’ll go get the other copy of the book. I’ll burn them both.”  
“We’ll burn them together. I need to make sure it’s done. I’ll hide this copy for now.”

When we get back to my house I make Tig drop me off outside the gate. I give him the key to the storage unit and say:  
“You cannot kill Clay. At least not yet. Play nice. You’re his right-hand man.”  
“He hurt you.”  
“Yes. He did. And he will die for that. I just haven’t decided when or how yet.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you.”  
I kiss his cheek and walk away. I quietly slip through the gate and into the house and head straight upstairs. I go into my room to grab a pair of sweat pants and a tank top, then go to the guest room, closing and locking the door behind me.

I take a shower, scrubbing my body until I’m bleeding, then get dressed and climb into bed and cry myself to sleep. I wake up what feels like minutes later to banging on the door. I hear Eli’s voice saying:  
“V? Why are you in the guest room? Are you coming for a swim?”  
“No. I’m not. Just leave me alone, Eli. Please.”  
“You’re crying. Let me in. What happened?”  
“Nothing. It doesn’t matter. Please just go have dinner with Abuelita.”  
“Let me in.”

I stand up and open the door, walking back over to the bed before he can touch me.   
“What happened, V?”  
“Clay raped me.”  
“He did what?”

I get my phone out of my bag and press play on the voice recording. He listens to it and then puts the phone in his pocket and reaches in my bag for my gun.  
“This is loaded, right?”  
“Always.”   
“Good. Call Clarence. We’re going to need the cleaner.”  
“Wait. Clay’s here?”  
“Yeah. He showed up for dinner. No Gemma though.”  
“Are the kids where he is?”  
“No. They’re in the playroom.”  
“Okay. I’ll keep them there. You play that recording for Jax immediately or he’s going to try to kill you.”  
“Yeah. I got it baby.” 

I take the phone from him for a second, leaving my fingers in his pocket as I send a message to Clarence that we need the cleaner. I put the phone back in his pocket and he shivers as I brush my fingers along his thigh.  
“V…As much as I would love to help you forget the feeling of him on you, you need to talk to your husbands about that.”  
“I know. Can you just kiss me? I need to feel like someone loves me.”  
He kisses me, deep and passionate, before he pulls away and leaves the room. I go into the playroom and close the door behind me, inviting the kids to show me the game they are playing.

————————  
Jax’s Perspective  
————————

Opie and I are sitting next to the pool with Clay and Tig, waiting for Eli to get back and shed some light on why Veronica has been locked in the guest room since she got home. Clay tells me she was fine when he saw her earlier, and Tig says:  
“She seemed tired and sore when I dropped her off. The motorcycle must not be good for her healing.”  
“That doesn’t explain the guest room though.”

Eli walks out onto the patio and shoots Clay in the head, then puts down the gun. He pulls out a phone, Veronica’s phone, and presses play on a voice recording and we all listen to my step-father raping my wife.

When it’s done, I say:  
“Is the cleaner coming?”  
“Clarence says twenty minutes.”  
“Good. Ope? Go comfort Ronnie. Tig, call the guys. Emergency church. Here. Now.”

Both Tig and Opie say:  
“Yeah. Okay.”

As they walk away, I turn to Eli and say:  
“You jeopardized the treaty to protect Veronica. Marcus’s going to be pissed.”  
“Is he? Or will he be disappointed in SAMCRO because their president raped the little girl that reminds him of his dead sister?”  
“Yeah, you’re right. Probably that one. Use Ronnie’s phone and call Leo. Ask him to come over now. We need him and the cleaner to cooperate on this. Clay can’t just disappear. Then call Marcus. Get him to come over in an hour. I’ll call Laroy.”  
“Okay.”

He walks off to make the calls I asked him to make and I call Laroy and put it on speaker.  
“Jax.”  
“Laroy. Can you come by the house in an hour or so? There’s been an incident that could affect the treaties.”  
“The treaties still stand right now though, right?”  
“Yes. And you know our house is a safe, neutral ground. Veronica would never allow anyone to hurt you here.”  
“She’s just an old lady.”  
“Yeah, but someone would have to have a death wish to cross her in her own house.”  
“Can I talk to her?”  
“She’ll be at the meeting.”  
“No, man. I mean now.”  
“The incident involves her. She’s pretty upset at the moment. The confident, badass bitch you met last night may not make an appearance today. You might see the soft, broken teenage Veronica instead.”  
“What happened?”

Before I can answer, Veronica walks up and sits on my lap before saying:  
“Clay raped me.”  
“I’ll fucking kill him.”  
“Laroy, it’s been dealt with. Eli shot him in the head.”  
“So SAMCRO has a new president?”  
“Not officially. Not until they vote. Which they are about to do. You’re coming over, right?”  
“Yeah. I’ll be there in an hour.”  
“Thank you.”

I hang up and Veronica curls into me, pressing her face into my neck. I wrap my arms around her, resting my cheek on the top of her head.  
“I’m so sorry my love.”  
“It’s not your fault, Jax. It’s mine. I went in too heavy with the information. He felt like he needed to prove he was still in control. That he still had power over me.”  
“Oh, my sweet girl.”

She sits up and kisses me, soft and sweet, before she says:  
“Once everyone’s gone, I need you to make me forget the feeling of him on me.”  
“You sure you want me for that and not Ope?”  
“Jackson…”  
“I just mean, he’s normally your comfort person…and I know that he’s the love of your life. It’s okay my love. I know how much you love me.”  
“Jax…”  
She trails off, and I think maybe I’ve upset her, but then her mouth is on mine and she is pouring every ounce of her love for me into this kiss. When we finally pull apart, she says:  
“I love you so fucking much, Jax. And I am not going to want comfort. I want to forget. Opie does that well, but only when he’s rough, and I hurt. I need you. I want you.”  
“Then me you’ll get.”  
“Good. Now all the guys are here except Piney. He’s on his way. Bobby for VP, Chibs for Sergeant at Arms…Okay?”  
“You think that’s the best arrangement? What about Tig?”  
“Tig’s on board with personnel changes. He understands that you need your own right-hand-man.”  
“And Ope?”  
“Opie will cooperate with whatever choice you make, my love.”  
“Excuse me? I’m making a choice here?”  
“Yes…You’re choosing to listen to your wife. Give Ope treasurer. It’ll give him something to do. Or make him your treaty point person.”  
“You’re brilliant.”  
“Remember that in a little bit when I bring an idea to the table…Which, by the way, I will be at.”  
“Um…my darling.”  
“Yeah, yeah…I know. That’s not how it’s done. I don’t care. Not today. I will be there when you explain what happened with Clay. I will be there for the vote, and then I will suggest to the table what I suggested to Clay earlier.”  
“Alright. Who am I to argue with the queen?”  
“Speaking of queens…Where the hell is Gemma?”  
“I don’t know. I’ll call her.”

I dial Gemma’s number and put it on speaker while I wait for her to answer.  
“Hi baby.”  
“Mom, where the hell are you?”  
“In Vegas with Luann. Veronica was supposed to go, but said something about having to go to Ireland.”  
“Yeah, she’s leaving in a couple of days with Clarence. When will you be home?”  
“Next Friday. Why?”  
“Veronica saw Clay earlier and he didn’t seem to know where you were. That’s all.”  
“Yeah, he’s pissed I left. Can Veronica go over to the house in the morning and check on him? Make sure he’s eating and not just jerking off in front of the TV?”  
“Yeah. Of course she can.”  
“Just warn her that he was talking in his sleep last night about how much he wants to fuck her. How good she would taste…I don’t think he would actually do anything, but maybe she should take Tig with her when she goes to check on him.”  
“Why does he want to fuck my wife all of a sudden?”  
“Oh, baby…It’s not sudden. He’s wanted to fuck her since she was fifteen. He actually described a few of his fantasies to me, they included some pretty rough and violent stuff that he wanted to do to her tiny body. Listening to her and Lyla last night though, I think that triggered him.”  
“Jesus fuck, Mom. And you didn’t feel the need to tell me or Veronica this sooner?”  
“I don’t think he’d ever act on it, so I didn’t feel the need to. I will say that the night in the clubhouse when he strangled her…he was really fucking horny for days after that. Wouldn’t look at me though. I think he was imagining her.”  
“Mom…seriously. You know what she’s been through. Not telling us about this seems…cruel.”  
“I’m sorry, baby. But Clay would never actually hurt Veronica. He loves her.”  
“Yeah. You’re right. Enjoy Vegas. Veronica will call you tomorrow if there’s an issue with Clay.”  
“Okay. Bye baby.”  
“Bye Mom.”

I hang up and look at Veronica.  
“Are you okay, baby?”  
“No. But I will be.”  
“My strong girl.”  
She kisses me again as Opie walks out to us.  
“The cleaner and Leo are here. So is Piney.”  
“Okay. We’re coming.”

We get up and walk towards Opie. As we get to him, Veronica reaches out and runs her fingers over his back, just a tiny touch, but an attempt to connect that she doesn’t normally make with me. When she touches me, they are always full, complete touches…Very intentional. With him, there’s a lot of gentle brushes and small touches that she doesn’t even seem aware of...like her body is just drawn to his.

——————————  
Veronica’s Perspective  
——————————

We walk into the house and I say:  
“Wait for me, Jax. I’ll deal with the cleaner and Leo.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

I walk over to where Leo is standing and I feel Opie behind me. I turn around and say:  
“Ope, go in with the guys. I’ll be right there.”  
He turns and follows Jax into the dining room. After he leaves, I step closer to Leo and say:  
“I need your help.”  
He reaches out and tugs on the front few pieces of my hair.  
“Before we get to that, Lyla sent this for you.”  
He hands me a USB stick, so I take it and put it in my pocket. He then puts his hand on my neck and pulls me to him before kissing me. I kiss him back, more passionately than I probably should. When we pull apart he says:  
“You want me.”  
“Yeah. I do.”  
“You ate Lyla out.”  
“Yeah. I did.”  
“She came home tasting like your breastmilk and your mouth.” “She told you everything? Even about Eli?”  
“Yeah…I just pretended that it was me with my fingers on your clit. So what did he do that Lyla didn’t?”  
“She was just being too gentle with me. Eli knows I like it fast and rough.”

I see that he’s getting hard, so I run my hand down his chest and abdomen to the front of his pants, cupping his cock.   
“Veronica…”  
“Sorry, had a rough day. I’m not exactly myself. I need your help.”

I take my hand off of him and step back.   
“Clay raped me. When Eli found out he shot Clay in the head. The cleaner is here, but Clay can’t just disappear, so I need your help fixing the police reports to make it an unsolved home invasion. He’s going to set it up today, and Tig and I will find the body in the morning.”  
“I’m sorry…Rewind. Clay did what?”  
“He raped me earlier.”  
“How are you okay right now?”  
“I’m not.”  
“I’ll take care of the reports. Call me when you find the body.”  
He steps towards me and puts his hands on my waist.  
“Can I kiss you?”  
“You don’t have to ask, Leo.”  
“You didn’t want me to touch you last night.”  
“Because I would have broken down. I was trying to stay composed.”  
“My poor sweet girl.”  
I put my hand on his neck and pull him to me before kissing him. When we pull apart, we’re both breathing heavily.  
“I love you Veronica.”  
“I love you.”

He walks away and I walk into my office where the cleaner is waiting.  
“Veronica.”  
“He’s on the patio. He needs to be moved to his house and it needs to be staged like a home invasion.”  
“Where is the weapon that was used?”  
“On the table on the patio.”  
“Do you have a friendly cop that can help you pull this off? There’s only so much I can do to stage this the way you want.”  
“I have a friendly cop who will handle the reports. I just need you to move the body, clean up the patio, and stage the scene at his house.”  
“Fair enough. Address?”

I give him the address before leaving the room. When I see him last, he’s walking out to the patio.

I walk into the dining room and find all the guys sitting around the table. As I walk past Tig, he reaches out and squeezes my hand. I squeeze back and then go to sit with Opie, curling up in his lap with my face pressed into his neck. 

Jax says:  
“I need to play this recording. Are you okay Veronica?”  
“Yeah, go ahead.”

He presses play on the recording and turns up the volume. I press my face into Opie’s neck even more than before, and feel myself start to cry. When the recording is done, I hear Kozik say:  
“Where the hell is he? I’ll kill him.”  
Jax says:  
“On that note…Clay is dead. He had an unfortunate run in with a bullet when Eli found out what he did to Veronica.”

I sit up and say:  
“The cleaner is taking the body to Gemma’s. She’s out of town, so it’ll be staged like a home invasion. Tig and I will find the body tomorrow. Leo’s on board, he’ll fix any reports that need fixing.”

Bobby says:  
“Why bother going to all the effort? Let’s just bury the asshole in a fucking shallow grave.”  
“For Gemma. We’re not telling her what he did. We’re all very capable of keeping secrets. This is one we keep. We will publicly mourn him at her side. We will have a proper SoA funeral for him, and no-one beyond this table aside from Eli, Leo, Marcus, and Laroy ever know the truth.”

Juice says:  
“He doesn’t deserve that.”  
“You’re right. But she does.”  
Jax says:  
“Does she though? You heard her earlier. She’s known for three years that he wanted to fuck you. That he wanted to hurt you. She didn’t tell us.”

All the guys start yelling until I shout:  
“Shut the fuck up!”  
Once they’re all quiet, I say:  
“She didn’t think he would actually do it. She thought he loved me enough to not hurt me. She is your mother Jax, our children’s grandmother. She has taken care of each of us since we became involved in the club. She deserves to not have this memory. She deserves to mourn her husband, and she deserves to be the Queen Mother rather than the old lady of an excommunicated member. So we all keep the fucking secret. Do you understand me?”

They all say in unison:  
“Yes my queen.”  
“Thank you.”

I curl back into Opie, resting my forehead on his neck and taking deep breaths while Jax says:  
“We need to vote on change in leadership.”

Piney says:  
“I suggest Jax takes president.”  
Tig says:  
“I second.”  
Jax says:  
“All in favour?”  
All the guys reply with:  
“Aye.”

Jax says:  
“I choose Bobby as my VP and Chibs as my Sergeant at arms.”  
Chibs says:  
“And Ope and Tig are good with that?”  
Opie and Tig both say:  
“Yes.”

Jax and Tig both look at me, and Jax says:  
“Okay, Ronnie. Give us this idea you gave Clay earlier.”  
Tig says:  
“It’s fucking brilliant by the way.”

I sit up and say:  
“First I need to give you a heads up. In a couple of months an ATF agent is going to come to town. Her name is Stahl and she is a vengeful bitch. She wants the Irish and will destroy SAMCRO to try to get them. First she’s going to try to convince you that someone is a rat…There won’t be a rat, she’s making it all up. Next she’ll frame Gemma for two murders, including the murder of Cameron Hayes’ son, causing him to lose his shit and kill Half-Sack, the prospect who isn’t a prospect yet…He’ll also try to kidnap the closest SAMCRO child, which, let’s face it, will be one of mine since I have a million. I do have an idea of how to get off the ATF’s radar for now, and to get rid of the seriously shitty relationship with the Irish…Honestly, how are you guys not making any money doing this?”

Everyone’s quiet and I look at Piney and Tig. Piney says:  
“I know it seems far-fetched that she knows this, but her dead sister likes to meddle and she’s shown Veronica and Tig all sorts of things they shouldn’t know. This is legitimate.”

Bobby says:  
“Okay. So what’s the idea?”

I smile at him and say:  
“Mossad. They currently run guns to the East Coast. They’re looking for a distribution chain in the West, and can easily meet our supply demands for our new treaty partners on top of supplying their contacts. They also supply a better selection of hardware, and because they are the Israeli government, the guns are shipped in containers marked as fucking diplomatic envelopes, which means they never get touched by customs.”

Chibs says:  
“You have a connection to Mossad, little one?”  
“Clarence does. He can get an introduction, and give you a good reference.”  
“How fast can it be up and running?”  
“Right away. Since we wouldn’t have to worry about customs issues, there’s no need for lengthy start-up times.”  
“And you’ve spoken to Clarence about this?”  
“At length previously, and briefly earlier today after Lilly showed us the bleak fucking future in store for us. Moving away from the Irish is required if we want to do our best to avoid a RICO case in the future. ATF really fucking wants the IRA.”

No-one speaks for a minute, so I say:  
“Also, Bobby…Just for the record, you are never allowed to fuck Luann. You fucking Luann leads to Otto turning state’s evidence against the club. The past crimes portion of the RICO case.”  
“Good to know. I will not tap that.”  
“Oh, and Juice…If they start the RICO case, they will try to convince you that because you have a black father the club will kick you out. They want to use you for current crimes. Of course, they’re basing that off of your manufactured ID, so clearly they aren’t very smart.”

Juice says:  
“Lilly always did like to meddle.”

Opie says:  
“She’s fucking demanding too. Seriously demanding dead chick.”  
Piney says:  
“I don’t know, my interactions with her have been pleasant over the years.”  
I scoff and say:  
“That’s because she’s all sweet Lilly with you. She sits on your lap and is nice to you. Tells you only good things.”

Opie says:  
“Years, Pop?”  
Piney laughs and says:  
“Since she died. She showed up the next day and told me that her little sister was going to be the love of my son’s life…It was just going to take them a couple of years to stop being fucking idiots.”

I say:  
“Why else do you think this grouchy old man was always so nice to me?”

My phone buzzes on the table and as I reach for it, Opie moves his hand on my hip and feels the USB stick in my pocket. He reaches in my pocket and pulls it out.  
“What’s this?”  
“A present from Lyla.”  
“Oh. Ew.”  
He puts it back in my pocket as I settle back into him and check my phone. It’s a text from an unknown number that simply says:  
‘Patio is clear.’

I put the phone down and say:  
“I’m going to let you guys vote on the Mossad thing. I’ll go wait for Laroy and Marcus.”

Jax slightly shakes his head, and Opie holds me in place gently.

Jax says:  
“You brought this idea to the table, you can stay for the vote. All in favour of meeting with Mossad? Aye.”

They all vote, and it ends up being unanimous. I turn to Chibs and say:  
“What about Fiona and Kerryanne? Won’t Jimmy hurt them?”  
“So we get rid of Jimmy.”  
“Want me to put out a hit on him? I’m leaving for Belfast in a couple of days.”

Opie says:  
“Chibs, before you answer, you should know that she isn’t joking. At all. My girl would happily hire someone to kill Jimmy.”  
Chibs laughs and says:  
“Oh, I know. Our little one is surprisingly bloodthirsty.”

I say:  
“One of the things I saw of the future was a conversation between you and Jimmy, Chibs. He made a comment about how Fiona was starting to lose her looks, but thankfully, Kerryanne was just coming into hers. All edges and small, tight curves. He was talking about how she may call him ‘Da’ but he’s not her Dad and sometimes he has trouble not acting on those thoughts. I wanted to slit his fucking throat when I heard him say that, so yeah…I might be slightly bloodthirsty.”  
Chibs says:  
“Well, that certainly sounds like Jimmy. Fucking prick.”  
“Let me know if you want me to hire someone.”

I look at Piney and say:  
“Speaking of hiring someone…Denise starts on Wednesday. You tell her which house you’ll be at and when and she will be there twice a week. Wednesday and Saturday. You will be nice. I don’t pay her enough to deal with your drunken abuse, you stubborn old man.”  
“Yes dear.”

Opie says:  
“When did you have time to hire someone to clean Pop’s house?”  
“I didn’t. I expanded the duties and the salary of someone on our staff. You realize that we have an extensive staff, right? It’s not just Abuelita.”  
“No…I didn’t realize that.”  
“You thought I was making that poor old woman clean this giant house, cook meals, and take care of our FIVE children? What kind of monster do you think I am? Abuelita’s job is to take care of the kids. Sometimes, like tonight, she insists on cooking dinner too.”  
“I never see anyone else.”  
“Part of their job is to be discreet. You’re not supposed to see them.”  
“How the hell did you learn all this? I saw Lianne’s apartment in Seattle, you weren’t raised with money.”  
“I spent a lot of time at Logan’s when I was younger. Lynn was a master at hiring staff and making sure they knew their place.”

Juice says:  
“Wasn’t she a drunk who ended up killing herself?”  
“She had an abusive, cheating fuck for a husband. Give her a fucking break. I loved Lynn. From the time I was twelve until I left Neptune, she was the closest thing to a mother I had. Better than fucking Lianne.”

Felix walks in the room and says:  
“Marcus and Laroy are here, boss.”  
“Thanks, Felix. We’ll meet them in the living room. Can you let Eli know that they are here, and tell Abuelita she can take the kids swimming now if they want to go?”  
“Sure, V.”

I get up to walk into the living room as Abuelita brings in the twins.  
“Sorry sweetheart. They’re hungry.”  
“Thanks, Abuelita.”  
I take Tommy from her and Tig takes Dee.   
“I could have taken her.”  
“I know, but I’m standing right here.”

We walk into the living room and I get settled in an armchair, sitting cross legged and handing Tommy to Opie long enough to take off the hoodie I’m wearing. Everyone walks in the room in time to see me take Tommy back and pop one of my breasts out the top of my shirt for him to latch onto. Most of the guys avert their eyes and I laugh and say:  
“They’re just boobs guys.”

Laroy says:  
“You have bruises on them.”  
“Yeah. I do.”  
“Are you okay?”  
“I will be.”

Marcus walks over and kisses my head before saying:  
“Why were we summoned? And where is Clay?”  
“Clay is dead.”  
“How?”  
“Eli shot him in the head on my patio.”  
“He did what?!”  
“Sit down, Marcus.”

He sits next to me and I take his hand in mine and say:  
“Opie? Press play love.”  
Opie presses play and we listen to the recording of Clay raping me. As it goes on I look at Marcus and he is crying. I squeeze his hand and when he looks at me, I say:  
“I’m okay, Marcus.”  
When the recording is over, Marcus says:  
“I understand why Eli shot him. I hope that doesn’t destroy the treaties.”

Jax says:  
“Of course not. Eli protected our queen.”  
“So SAMCRO has a new president.”  
“Yes. We also voted on potentially dissolving our relationship with the IRA.”  
“Where does that leave us?”  
“With the current arrangement until a new deal is brokered. At that point, we may have more options for you in terms of merchandise.”

Marcus looks at me and says:  
“This was your idea wasn’t it?”  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just an old lady.”

Jax scoffs and says:  
“Yes. It was her plan. It’s fairly brilliant.”  
Laroy says:  
“Can you fill us in?”  
“Not until everything is settled.”

Thomas is done eating, so I pass him to Opie and fix my boob before taking Dee from Tig and pulling the other breast out. As Dee latches, Marcus gasps.   
“What?”  
“There is a very large bruise on the side of your breast.”  
“I’m not surprised. Clay was biting me pretty hard.”

Jax says:  
“You had that bruise this morning. I assumed it was from Eli.”  
Eli comes over and looks at it and says:  
“Wrong boob. Must have been Lyla.”

I say:  
“I think too many people have touched my boobs in the past 24 hours. I miss the days where if I had a bruise it was most definitely from Opie.”  
Opie grumbles:  
“I miss those days too.”

Everyone starts talking about something else, but I feel Tig lean down and he whispers in my ear:  
“That bruise is definitely from me, and you know it. Why not blame me?”  
I turn my head and whisper to him:  
“Because not everyone needs to know just how close we are. So shut it.”

Dee finishes eating and I pass her to Eli before fixing my boob and standing up to take Tommy from Opie. 

“I need to put these creatures down for a nap. Eli? Will you help me?”  
“Yup.”  
“Thanks. We’ll be back. Everyone’s welcome to stay for dinner. Abuelita made enough for an army, as usual.”

Eli and I take the twins upstairs and change their diapers before putting them down for their naps. When we leave the nursery, I take his hand and lead him to the guest room. He closes the door behind us and says:  
“What do you need, V?”  
“To feel loved. Please, Eli.”  
“Okay, baby.”  
I reach out and pull his shirt off, making him turn around so I can see the tattoo.  
“That is a huge tattoo. You idiot.”  
He turns around and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me tight against his body before he says:  
“I love you.”  
I put my hands on his neck and kiss him. He moves his hands and pulls my shirt over my head before undoing my bra.   
“God, you’re so beautiful, Veronica.”  
“I’m chubby.”  
“You’re perfect. You had twins a week ago. Your body is still changing.”  
I reach down and undo his belt and pants, pushing them off his body while he pushes my sweatpants and panties off.  
“Be gentle with me, Eli.”  
“Always, baby. Get on the bed.”  
I lie on the bed and stare at him as he takes his boxers off and grabs a condom from his pants pocket. He puts the condom on and climbs onto the bed. He runs his hand along my core and says:  
“Be quiet love. I’d like to not get murdered today.”  
He grazes his fingers against my clit and I gasp. He smirks and says:  
“I’m going to put my fingers inside you, okay?”  
“Eli. I’m fine. I’m safe with you. I don’t need you to get consent for every step. I consent to having sex with you. I consent to you touching me. I consent to you loving me. Please, just love me.”  
“Okay, V.”  
He rubs my clit with his thumb and slides two fingers into me, pumping them slowly, so he can drag them across my G-spot with every insertion. When I come it’s with a soft whimper. He gently pulls his fingers out of me and sucks my fluid off of them as he moves up so he can kiss me. As he kisses me, I wrap my legs around him and he slides into me. I kiss him harder as I match him thrust for thrust. It’s slow and gentle, and exactly what I need, which seems to be what I always get from Eli. We both come with a moan against the other’s lips, and he collapses on top of me, kissing my neck. 

A couple of minutes after we finish, the door opens and Jax and Opie walk in, closing the door and locking it behind them. Jax smirks and says:  
“I told you she fucked him.”  
Opie shakes his head and says:  
“And after commenting that too many people had touched your boobs…Naughty little girl.”

I look at them both, narrowing my eyes as I say:  
“You both are being far too good spirited about this. What are you up to?”  
Jax says:  
“He protected you today. He gets a free pass. One free pass.”  
Opie says:  
“We thought we’d show him what he can’t give you.”  
“So your solution for your annoyance about me fucking Eli is to fuck me in front of him?”  
Eli says:  
“I’m not opposed to this idea, V.”  
“Of course you aren’t. What if I am?”  
“Are you?”  
“I don’t know.”

I get up off the bed and walk into the bathroom. I close the door behind me and sit on the counter. Opie walks in after me and closes the door again. He walks over and puts his hands on my neck, and presses his forehead to mine. I undo his belt and pants, pushing them and his boxers down his legs, then I wrap my legs around him and slide forward until his cock is inside of me. I kiss him and say:  
“Fuck me Ope. Hurt me.”  
He growls and roughly picks me up. He walks me into the wall and fucks me hard, slamming my head into the wall with each thrust.  
“Choke me, Ope.”  
He puts one of his hands on my throat and squeezes until I’m gasping, then he bites the sensitive spot on my neck. I come screaming his name and lean forward to bite his neck. He comes groaning my name and kisses me before putting me down.  
“I love you so much. You are the love of my life.”  
“Well, one of them.”  
“No, Ope. I love Jax so insanely much, but you are the love of my life. If I had to choose, I would choose you. You are who I don’t think I can live without…After that dream, I was upset about everything, but watching you die…Ope, that broke my heart.”

His eyes get soft and he puts his hand on my cheek.   
“Oh, my baby…You are the love of my life. I won’t ever make you choose though. I have every intention of being with you and Jax until we all die of old age, me and Jax first, of course, since you’re a child.”  
I stick my tongue out at him and say:  
“If I’m a child, what does that say about you and your penchant for fucking me?”  
“Nothing good, I’m sure.”

I kiss him and pull his shirt off before running my hands down his chest, over the nail marks I left earlier.  
“I love you.”  
“I love you, my sweet girl. Shall we go out there and put on a show for Eli?”  
“I don’t really want to, Ope.”  
“Why not baby?”  
“I just…My body was used by someone against my will today, and I just want…”  
“To be in control. And you’re afraid that if we go out there that it won’t end up just a show, and we’ll let Eli participate and it’ll be too much for you.”  
“Yeah…is that okay?”  
“Baby, it’s always okay to say no to things. We would never force you to do something you weren’t comfortable with.” 

He pulls his pants back on and picks me up, hoisting me over his shoulder before carrying me back into the bedroom. When we get in the room, he sets me on the bed and I see that Eli and Jax are both naked.  
“So, boys…what are we comparing? Tattoos or dick size?”  
“Tattoos. Comparing dick size when Opie’s around is just unfair.”  
“True. Although…Tig could give him a run for his money.”  
“Ugh. No. No reminders that Tig’s naked freak dick has been anywhere near you.”  
“To be fair, his dick isn’t freaky. His brain is.”

Eli says:  
“When the hell was Tig’s dick near you?”  
“This morning. Lilly showed him a potential future where his daughter was burned alive in front of him. He needed comfort. I told him I wouldn’t touch him but he could do whatever he needed to.”  
He growls and says:  
“And what did he need to do?”

Jax says:  
“He ended up drinking breastmilk while jerking off. He’s a strange one.”  
Eli looks at him and blinks.  
“What, Eli?”  
“Have you not tasted her breastmilk? It’s fucking amazing.”  
“When did you taste her breastmilk?”  
“Last night, while I was getting her off.”  
“Veronica, lie down on the bed. In the middle.”  
“No.”  
“No?”  
“I don’t want to, Jax.”  
“Why?”  
Opie says:  
“Love…leave it. She’s allowed to say no.”  
“I just want to understand.”  
“She was raped a couple of hours ago. What else is there to understand? She needs to be able to say no without us arguing.”   
“You’re right. I’m sorry baby.”  
I shrug and say:  
“Can we all get dressed please? None of you are getting any more than you already have right now.”  
“Yeah.”

I grab my clothes and walk into the bathroom. I use the washroom and get dressed before walking back out. The other guys are dressed when I get back to the bedroom, and as I’m approaching the bed to sit down, Opie grabs me from behind and picks me up, sitting on the bed with me on his lap. I curl up and rest my head on his chest, inhaling deeply.

Jax walks over to me and kisses me before he whispers:  
“I’m the only one who didn’t get any of anything though.”  
“I’m all yours after dinner, love. You still need to make me forget.”

Eli says:  
“Can you explain the attraction to Opie? Because I don’t get it.”

Eli sits on the bed next to us and Jax kisses the side of my head and says:  
“I’m going to go hang out with the kids. Come down when you’re done explaining to Eli.”  
“Okay babe.”  
I grab his hand as he walks away and pull him back to me so I can kiss him properly. I whisper:  
“I love you, so fucking much.”  
“I love you.”  
I kiss him again and let him walk away.

I say:  
“Two questions…First: Why do you need to understand? Second: What don’t you understand?”  
“I get Jax, you have a history of being attracted to pretty guys…Especially those of the jackass variety - no offence to Jax of course. But…Opie is a giant and while attractive, is not pretty.”  
“From the moment I met Opie it was like every cell in my body was screaming out for him. Not just sexually, but for this…Just for him to hold me, touch me. When he touched me the first time I almost cried because I had been waiting for it for so long. When he spoke for the first time I got shivers down my spine like electricity. I love the way he smells, it’s my safe place. I love that he’s a giant. He makes me feel safe and protected. I find him incredibly attractive, he has an amazing smile and kind eyes…Not to mention a fucking amazing body. I love how great of a Dad he is…How much he loves our kids. I love how much he loved Donna, and how much he loves me. I love how he always knows what I need, both sexually and not. I love how he’s always willing to give me what I need sexually even if it’s not necessarily what he wants or needs at that moment. He’s the love of my life.”

Opie hugs me tighter and kisses the top of my head and Eli says:  
“Wow…Can I ask, when did he touch you for the first time?”  
“The day I had Abel. Jax couldn’t make it to the hospital in time, so he called Opie to be there for me. The first time Ope ever touched me was to push my hair back from my face. He held my hand and whispered in my ear that everything would be okay. He stayed with me the whole time I was in labour. After Abel was born, he kissed me and told me I did so good. Once Jax got there, Opie left and I realized that I just wanted him there.”  
“When did you guys have sex for the first time?”  
“After that movie night in Neptune…The one the day he gave me those bruises.”  
“You were with Jax then.”  
“Yeah. The last thing he said to me that night before he left to deal with Hale was that it was okay to fuck Opie. So I did.”

Opie clears his throat and says:  
“Technically our first time was very much making love, not fucking.”  
“Well, that’s true, it was exceptionally gentle and loving.”  
“You cried.”

Eli says:  
“He made you cry and you had sex with him again after that?”  
I roll my eyes.  
“Almost immediately after, actually. He hadn’t even pulled out before he got hard again. But I cried because I was overwhelmed by the amount of love for me that I saw in his eyes. I had never felt love like that directed at me before…Also, to be fair, I cry during sex a lot. Usually pleasure overload though.”  
“You’ve never cried during sex with me.”  
I just look at him and blink before saying:  
“Opie, Jax, Jax and Juice, Jax and Opie, Opie, Jax…Are you sensing a theme here?”

Opie says:  
“I didn’t know you cried when you guys had sex with Juice.”  
“I had never…done that before. It was overwhelming and I had trouble processing the pleasure.”

Eli says:  
“Had never done what before?”  
“Had two guys fuck me at once.”  
“I thought Jax let you fuck Juice, I didn’t realized they fucked you together.”  
I shrug.  
“It was a thing. It happened. It won’t happen again.”  
“With Juice, or with anyone?”  
“With anyone…I have two husbands…If I want to be fucked by two guys at once, I think I’m covered.”

Opie whispers in my ear:  
“Can we be done this now? Let’s go play with the kids.”  
“Yeah.”  
I lean over and kiss Eli before saying:  
“We’ll meet you downstairs. I just need to talk to Opie for a second.”  
“Okay.”

Once he’s left the room, I turn so I’m straddling Opie’s lap. I run my hands backwards through his hair so they end up on the back of his head and lean in to kiss him. He pulls me tighter against him and deepens the kiss. When we pull apart we both have tears in our eyes. He rests his forehead on mine and says:  
“You needed to talk to me?”  
“No…I just needed to be alone with you for a few minutes. I feel like we never get to be alone.”  
“Let’s go for a ride instead of dinner. Let Jax, Abuelita, and Eli take care of the kids.”  
“But I like dinner…”  
“Come on, baby…We haven’t been out on the bike together in ages.”  
“Fine…But you’d better take me somewhere nice.”  
“Don’t I always?”  
“Ehhh…Debatable. You’ve taken me to some pretty sketchy rest areas.”  
“Only the fanciest rest areas for you now, babe. I promise.”  
I laugh and then kiss him. While we’re kissing I start sobbing, and he just holds me tighter and whispers to me:  
“Everything’s going to be okay, Veronica.”  
“Why me, Ope?”  
“Why you what, sweetheart?”  
“Why do you love me?”  
“That’s not why you’re crying…”  
“No, I’m crying because someone I loved and trusted raped me…again. Tell me why you love me.”

He kisses my forehead and pulls me into his chest before he says:  
“Aside from the obvious sexual component of wanting to bury myself in you ten seconds after meeting you, I just wanted to touch you. To be allowed to hold you, to kiss you. You were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, and right away I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Then I was listening to you and Jax talk, and I realized how fucking brilliant you are. You are funny, and sweet, and despite your constant claims to the contrary, you have a beautiful singing voice. I love how strong you are, how you are able to handle anything life throws at you. I love that you are this total badass who always smells like coconut cookies and marshmallows…I love that you loved my kids from the moment you met them…Even Donna realized how much you loved them. I love how you love our kids, and your friends. I love how much you love Pop, and how much you care about the club. I love how much you love Jax. I love that you choose us over everything else, even if it makes me want to wring your neck for putting yourself last. I even love how much you love that stupid horse, and I love how fast you learn things, how you always need to be moving or thinking. Actually, I don’t think you have a single personality trait that I don’t love.”  
“Well, that can’t be true. I’m sure if you really think about it you’ll think of something.”  
“Maybe that.”  
“Maybe what?”  
“The self-doubt. You are amazing, strong, sweet, loving, and one of the best people I’ve ever met, but you doubt yourself…not in front of other people, but with yourself and your family. Especially me and Jax. We love you more than anything baby.”

He looks at me in that way he has that makes it impossible to breathe, there’s just so much love in his eyes. He stares at me for a moment and says:  
“Veronica? What’s wrong baby?”  
“Nothing. It’s just when you look at me like that I feel like I can’t breathe.”  
“I’m not looking at you in any special way.”  
“Yes you are. It’s this look you get sometimes, it’s the same look you had the first time we made love. It’s just this look of pure, unending love. I’m still not used to it.”  
He pulls me to him and kisses me, so I deepen the kiss, pouring every bit of love I have for him into it. When we pull apart, I say:  
“If we’re going for a ride, I need to change.”  
“Well, then go change. I’ll let Jax know what we’re doing and I’ll meet you downstairs. You’ll need to feed the twins before we go anyways. I’ll bring them down with me.”  
“Ok. I love you.”  
“I love you.”

I leave the room and quickly go shower and get changed into jeans and a t-shirt. I grab my leather jacket and head downstairs. I find everyone on the patio eating dinner. I sit down and take Dee from Opie and start to feed her. Abuelita says:  
“I know you are going out for a bit my darling, but you need to eat first. I’ll get you some dinner.”  
“Yes, Abuelita. Thank you.”

I end up eating half my dinner while feeding Dee and half while feeding Tommy. Before I get up from the table I say:  
“Ellie, my sweet girl.”  
“Yes, Mama?”  
“Daddy and I are going out for a bit. Do you think you can help Dad get the horses settled for the night? Do you remember what Tristen taught you?”  
“Yes Mama! I remember. I can help.”  
“Good girl. And you’ll help Dad with bath time, right?”  
“Of course. Can I have a bath in your tub?”  
“Yeah. Of course you can. Make sure you use the good bubble bath too. It has a picture of a cookie on the front.”  
“Thanks Mama.”  
“You’re welcome. I think Tristen is coming over tomorrow morning, so how about the three of us go for a ride? Just us girls?”  
“Yes, please.”

I smile at her and kiss everyone at the table before stopping at Jax and whispering against his ear:  
“I hope you have something good in mind for later…Just us.”  
He whispers back:  
“Really? It’s hardly ever just us.”  
“I know. I miss you.”  
He pulls me onto his lap and kisses me before saying:  
“God I love you.”  
“I love you. Now let me up.”  
“So demanding.”  
He loosens his arms and I kiss him before standing up and walking over to Opie. I intertwine our fingers and say:  
“Let’s go, babe.”

Once we’re out in the driveway getting on the bike, I say:  
“Where are we going?”  
“It’s a surprise. Get on the bike, Ronnie.”  
“I think you should tell me where we’re going.”  
He lowers his voice and growls:  
“Get on the bike.”  
I step towards him and wrap my arms around his waist.  
“You know what that voice does to me.”  
“Yeah, I do. Now combine it with the vibration of the bike. Get on. We have a ways to go. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to take care of you later.”  
“You’re lucky I love you.”  
He kisses me and says:  
“Yes, I am.”  
He steps away from me and gets on the bike and I climb on behind him, wrapping my arms around his body and resting my head against his back. We’re on the bike for about an hour before I figure out where we’re going. I tighten my arms around him, putting one hand on his chest and the other against his belt buckle. About forty minutes later we pull into a parking lot and Opie parks the bike. We both get off and leave the helmets on the bike. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and I wrap mine around his waist.  
“So why are we in San Francisco?”  
“Far enough away from Charming for us to just be alone for a while. As civilians, as husband and wife. Without the kids, and Jax, and all the crap that keeps happening.”  
“I love you.”  
He leans over and kisses the top of my head.

We spend the next two hours slowly wandering around Fisherman’s Wharf before walking back to the bike to go home. When we get to the bike we notice Laroy and some other One-Niners standing nearby. I squeeze Opie’s waist and say:  
“So much for getting away from all the crap.”

Laroy walks towards us and says:  
“Opie…I thought this was your bike. Long way from Charming.”  
Opie shrugs and says:  
“My old lady needed a break from Charming and the club, so…date night.”  
“Needed a break from her husband too, huh?”

I look at Laroy and roll my eyes.  
“Why are you being an ass? You know what I went through today. You heard the damn recording.”

He has the decency to look ashamed, and says:  
“I’m sorry, Veronica. I wasn’t trying to be an ass to you.”  
“Yeah, well. Trying or not, you succeeded. Congratulations.”

I turn to Opie and say:  
“Let’s go home.”  
“Okay, baby.”

Laroy steps back and lets us get on the bike. Before Opie starts it, Laroy says:  
“Veronica, can I come see you tomorrow? I was hoping we could talk.”  
“No.”  
I wrap my arms around Opie and we drive off. When we get home I notice I have three text messages. The first one is from Tig:  
‘Just confirming that you want me to go with you to check on Clay tomorrow. Let me know a time.’  
‘Yeah…noon?’  
‘Sure, sweetheart.’

The next message is from Clarence saying:  
‘Belfast hotel is booked. Jake says we can use the Kane jet…If we bring Duncan, Logan, and Dick. I think he wants you to forgive them.’  
‘They can come to Belfast, but they aren’t coming to meet Maureen.’  
‘Fair. We leave day after tomorrow. We’re there for three days.’  
‘Thanks Clarence.’

Then I have a message from Laroy:  
‘I’m sorry Veronica. Please forgive me for being an ass.’  
‘I just…can’t today, Laroy. I’ve reached my limit for shitty people and events today. Maybe I can forgive you tomorrow.’  
‘If I come by tomorrow, will your guards let me in?’  
‘No. I’m leaving for Ireland the day after tomorrow. I just want to be with my kids tomorrow.’  
‘Why Ireland?’  
‘Family issue.’  
‘Talk to me, V.’  
‘If it was something that affected you or the treaties, I would. But it’s legitimately a family issue. I’m going with my brother and his best friends.’  
‘Veronica.’  
‘Goodnight, Laroy.’

I put my phone away and roll my eyes at Opie when the text chime goes off again. As we start walking into the house, my phone starts ringing. When I pull it out to look at the caller ID, I see that it’s Laroy. I look at Opie exasperatedly and he takes the phone from me, answering it on speaker:  
“Laroy.”  
“I was hoping I could talk to Veronica.”  
“No.”  
“Why not?”  
“Laroy…If I called your girl in the middle of the goddamn night, how would you respond?”  
“Not well.”  
“So please appreciate my restraint when I tell you to not call my old lady again. Being friendly is fine, being obsessive is not. She’s had a really rough day and she doesn’t want to talk to you right now. While she likes you and finds you enjoyable to talk to, you are not part of her family.”  
“She held Alvarez’s hand earlier while we listened to that damn recording. And she won’t even talk to me?”  
“She and Marcus have been friends since Christmas. He was at our house when she collapsed and had to be taken to the hospital. She reminds him of his little sister. They’ve bonded. It helped that one of Ronnie’s best friends is one of Marcus’s prospects.”  
“He’s still the leader of another gang.”  
“Yes. And her fondness for him is why she pushed for the treaties between all of our groups. It’s why she worked so hard to stop the turf wars between the Niners and the Mayans. We told her she couldn’t be friends with him while there was no treaty, so our stubborn girl made us have treaties.”  
“Is she fucking Eli?”  
“She has. She isn’t currently. She’s standing next to me glaring at the phone.”  
“They seem like they have a sexual relationship.”

Before Opie can respond, I say:  
“Who I have a sexual relationship with is between me, my husbands, and whoever that person is. It’s none of your business.”  
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”  
“We’re done for tonight Laroy. Goodnight.”

Opie hangs up the phone and puts it in his pocket. When we go in the house, all the lights are off downstairs so we go up to the bedrooms. We check on all the kids, and they are all sound asleep. As we’re walking down the hall, Opie stops at the door to the guest room and kisses me.  
“What are you doing, love?”  
“I’m going to sleep in the guest room. Give you and Jax some time.”  
I wrap my arms around his waist and kiss him.   
“I don’t like sleeping without you.”  
“You’ll have Jax. You’ll be fine.”  
“I understand that…I’m not worried about nightmares. I just don’t like sleeping without you. It doesn’t feel right…not having your arms around me.”  
He runs his fingers through my hair, twisting the ends, and leans in and kisses me.  
“I love you, Veronica. Go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”  
“I love you, so fucking much.”  
I kiss him again and walk away, going in our room and closing the door behind me. 

Jax is sitting on the bed watching a movie when I walk in. He pauses it and says:  
“Where’s Ope?”  
“Sleeping in the guest room to give us time.”  
“Did you ask him to do that?”  
“No.”  
“Do you want him to do that?”  
“I don’t like sleeping without him anymore than I like sleeping without you.”  
“Go shower. I’ll go get our idiot.”

I walk over to him and straddle him, kissing him deeply.   
“I promised you it would just be us…”  
“Baby, I love being alone with you, but I love Ope too. It’s okay.”  
“Fuck me now…before you go get Ope. I want you…just you.”  
He kisses me and says:  
“What do you need baby?”  
“I need you to do what he did. I need you to overwrite those memories, please. Make me remember you instead of Clay.”  
“Tell me what he did, exactly.”  
“Told me to take off my clothes; then he fucked my mouth, ordered me to swallow; then he made me masturbate, after I came he licked me clean, my clit was sensitive so I physically reacted even though I didn’t want to; he licked me and fucked me with his fingers until I came again; he made me get on my knees and roughly fucked me until he stopped and made me ride his cock while he bit and sucked on my breasts; after he came, he kissed me.”  
“He wore a condom, right?”  
“Yeah. That was the one nice thing he did.”  
He kisses me and says:  
“Get up and take off your clothes.”

I get off of him and stand next to the bed before taking my clothes off. Once I’m naked, he stands up and pulls off his pyjama pants.  
“Get on your knees and open your mouth.”  
I drop to my knees and open my mouth. He puts his hand on the back of my head, tangling his fingers in my hair and thrusting into my mouth. He holds me in place and thrusts roughly and quickly into my mouth, causing me to gag. I keep my eyes on his as he moves, letting him know that I’m okay, despite the tears streaming down my cheeks. When he comes he says:  
“Swallow.”  
I swallow and he says:  
“Good girl. Get on the bed.”  
I lie down on the bed and he says:  
“Spread your legs and masturbate for me.”  
I watch him as I spread my legs and start rubbing my clit in hard, fast circles. He licks his lips and his eyes get dark as he watches me. When I get close to orgasming, I twist one of my nipples and pinch my clit and come screaming. He comes over and licks me clean before sliding two fingers into me and pumping them while he sucks on my clit until I come again. Once he’s pulled his fingers out of me he says:  
“Flip over.”  
I flip over and say:  
“Rough, Jax. Forget that you love me.”  
“Not possible, but I’ll give you what you need.”  
He slams into me, roughly fucking me without regard for my comfort. I cry out in pain a couple of times, each time he gently runs his hand along my spine, but keeps going. Then he pulls out and says:  
“Ride my cock.”  
He sits down and I straddle him, lowering myself onto his cock and set a punishing pace while he bites and sucks on my breasts. When he comes he holds me in place and kisses me. 

I get off his lap and hold out my hand, saying:  
“Come shower with me.”  
He stands up and takes my hand before he says:  
“Did that help?”  
“I don’t know babe.”  
I pull him into the bathroom with me and we get in the shower. We both wash our hair and bodies, then I wrap my arms around his neck, running my fingers through the ends of his hair.  
“I’m sorry, Jax. I’m so sorry I made you do that.”  
“It’s what you needed.”  
“What do you need, love?”  
“To love you.”  
“Please.”  
I kiss him and he picks me up, wrapping my legs around his waist as he walks me back into the wall. He slides into me and thrusts slow and deep, hitting all the right spots as he kisses me. When we orgasm, it’s together and we’re both crying. I put my forehead against his and say:  
“I love you more than anything, Jackson. Promise me I’m not going to lose you. That you aren’t going to leave me.”  
“Why would I leave you, baby? You are the love of my life.”  
“But…”  
“But I’m not yours. I know. It’s okay, Veronica. I knew the day I walked into the house in Neptune and you were asleep, wrapped in his arms, lying on the couch. He had hurt you that morning, but…You trusted him enough to let him hold you, to fall asleep with him. When you woke up and realized I was there, you stayed with him, in his arms. I knew then that it was him, and not me. I had trouble with it at first, but I’m okay now. I know how much you love me, and how much he loves me, and how much I love the two of you. I will never leave you. I intend to be with you and Ope for the rest of my life. I’m not going anywhere.”

I kiss him, pouring all of my love into it, before saying:  
“I love you so much. He may be the love of my life, but you are my first love, the person I love more than anyone else in the world, my husband.”  
“I love you, my wife, my queen. Let’s go get our other love, yeah?”  
“Yeah, okay.”  
He kisses me and puts me down.  
“Dry off and go to bed. I’ll go get Ope.”

I turn off the shower and we both step out. He wraps a towel around himself and leaves the room. I quickly brush my teeth and dry off before leaving the bathroom and climbing into bed. I must be tired, because I fall asleep before they come back to the room.


	20. The Next Day

I wake up a little while later, wrapped tightly in their arms, my face pressed into Opie’s chest. I can hear them kissing each other above my head, and can feel that they are both hard. I grumble, barely loud enough to be heard:  
“Just fuck each other already. It’s obvious you want to. No-one has to know but us.”  
Opie grumbles back at me:  
“Maybe we both just want to fuck you. I mean, you are between us.”  
“You are so full of shit. The only reason I’m between you is because the two of you are afraid of the repercussions of fucking each other. Neither of those erections currently poking me have anything to do with me. I mean, if you want to pretend they do, and fuck me, I’m game, but please understand that I know that I am not what turned you on this time.”  
“You’re wrong, Veronica.”

Jax sighs and says:  
“No, she’s not. We’re alone in our bedroom in the middle of the night, Ope. No-one is judging us.”

I say:  
“Let me go. I don’t need to be here for this conversation.”  
Jax says:  
“Where are you going?”  
“To feed the twins.”

Opie tightens his arms around me and says:  
“There’s no conversation to be had. It’s not happening.”  
Jax says:  
“What are you so afraid of?”  
“I’m not afraid of anything. I love you, Jax…But I’m not sexually attracted to you, and you aren’t sexually attracted to me. It’s just…spillover from how much we both want Ronnie.”  
“That’s not true and you know it.”  
“Yes, it is.”  
“Fine. Whatever you say, Ope.”

Jax gets out of bed and walks into the bathroom. I smack Ope on the side of his head and say:  
“I love you, but you’re a fucking moron. Let me go.”  
“I want you.”  
“No, you idiot. You want him. Let. Me. Go.”  
He sighs and opens his arms. I get out of bed and walk into the bathroom. I find Jax sitting on the floor against the wall.

“What can I do, baby?”  
“Love me. I know that you know this wasn’t about you, but I need to feel loved.”

I kneel on the floor and straddle him, lowering myself onto his cock. I find a rhythm that works for both of us and kiss him until he comes. After he does, he puts his forehead against the spot where my neck meets my shoulder and I wrap my arms around him as he cries.   
“I’m sorry, Ronnie.”  
“For what, baby?”  
“For being attracted to him. I’m in love with you. I’ve never been attracted to a guy before. Maybe he’s right, maybe it’s just spillover from how much I want you.”  
“Jackson…You have done nothing wrong, and you and I both know that Opie is full of shit. He wants you just as much as you want him.”  
“It doesn’t bother you?”  
“Why would it? I am insanely in love with both of you and so very attracted to both of you. The idea of you fucking eachother seriously turns me on.”  
“The club is very opposed to it. It’s against the bylaws.”  
“Being gay is against the bylaws?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Well, then you’re good. I don’t think you’re gay, love. Like you said, you’ve never been attracted to another guy, and you never used to be attracted to Ope. I think it’s just…we all love each other and the three of us spend so much time in sexual situations that the two of you developing an attraction was bound to happen.”  
“Ronnie…How are you so okay with this?”  
“I told you. The idea of you fucking each other turns me on.”  
“Tell that to Ope, maybe he’ll agree to it.”  
“Not my place, love. This is a conversation you and Ope need to have, and I really do need to go feed the babies.”

I kiss him and say:  
“I love you.”  
“I love you.”  
I stand up and walk into the bedroom, grabbing pyjamas and pulling them on before I walk over to the bed and kiss Opie.  
“I love you. Stop being an idiot. No-one will know, and let’s face it, most of the guys already suspect you and Jax are fucking and none of them care.”  
“Where are you going?”  
“To feed the babies and then sleep in the guest room.”  
“Alone?”  
“Yeah. You and Jax need to work your shit out.”  
“Veronica, baby…You’re going to have nightmares.”  
“Probably. I’m a big girl. I can handle it. Where’s my phone?”  
“Pants pocket. In the guest room.”  
I kiss him again and walk out of the room.

I go and feed the babies, then walk to the guest room and grab my phone. I have a message from Leo saying:  
‘Any chance you’re still up? I need to see you.’  
‘I’m up. Come over. I’ll be in the office.’  
I head downstairs, walk into the office and open the courtyard door before sitting on the couch and lighting a joint. I’m halfway through my second joint when Leo walks in.  
“First or second, Veronica?”  
“Second.”  
He takes it out of my hand and puts it out before putting the ashtray and lighter on my desk.  
“Killjoy.”  
“Why are you down here alone, smoking pot in the middle of the night, babe?”  
“It’s been a rough couple of fucking days, Leo. That’s why.”  
“But why aren’t you upstairs in bed with your husbands?”  
“Because I’m not. Why aren’t you at home in bed with your girlfriend?”  
“Because, universally, I’d rather be with you.”  
“Leo…”  
“I miss you. I feel like we never spend time together anymore.”  
“Because you have a life that doesn’t just revolve around talking care of me.”

He kneels on the floor in front of me and puts his hands on my thighs.  
“I want my life to revolve around you.”  
“No you don’t. I’m a fucking mess. You should be aiming for as little contact as possible.”  
“Are you insane?”  
I laugh and say:  
“Probably. Certainly feels like it.”  
“You wanna get out of here for a while?”  
“I’m in my pyjamas.”  
“So go change.”  
“I don’t want to go up there.”  
“Why? What is going on, Veronica?”  
“Nothing. Everything is fine.”  
“Bullshit.”  
He rises up on his knees and puts one of his hands on my neck before kissing me. I kiss him back, just as desperately and passionately as I had earlier. He runs the hand that’s on my thigh up and under my sleep shorts, brushing his fingertips along my core.  
“Leo…No.”  
“You want me.”  
“I’ve always wanted you. But not today, Leo…Please. Enough people have touched me and used me for their own needs today. Can we just snuggle on the couch and watch a movie like we used to?”  
“Who else used you today?”  
“I don’t want to talk about it…Please. Let’s just watch a movie?”  
“Yeah, okay baby.”

We go in the living room and I grab a blanket from the cabinet while Leo picks a movie. He puts the movie in and sits on the couch. I lie down with my head in his lap and he puts the blanket over me.   
“What movie did you pick?”  
“The Big Lebowski. You seem like you need cheering up.”  
I turn my head and look at him with tears in my eyes and he says:  
“Why are you crying sweet girl?”  
“It’s just nice to be known so well.”  
“Of course I know you this well. I love you.”  
“That’s not the obvious connection you seem to think it is.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I mean that not everyone who loves me would realize that the Dude is the cure to my upset.”  
“Well then…They suck.”  
“I love you. Press play.”

I turn my head back towards the TV and get comfortable again. He starts stroking and playing with my hair as the movie starts. I fall asleep quickly once the movie begins.

When I wake up next, I’m in the guest room on top of the bedding with a fully dressed Leo wrapped around me and Ellie on my other side.  
“Finally, Mama!” “Finally what, baby?”  
“You were sound asleep. Tristen is here for our ride! And the babies are hungry.”  
“Who is with the babies?”  
“Abuelita. Dad and Daddy are still sleeping too.”  
“Tell Abuelita to feed them formula, okay?”  
“Are your boobs broken?”  
“No, but my milk isn’t good for the babies right now. She’ll know what I mean.”  
“Okay Mama. You’re getting up, right?”  
“Yes, Ellie. I just need to get changed and then we’ll go for our ride, okay?”  
“Okay. Why are you sleeping in here with Uncle Leo instead of in your room with Dad and Daddy?”  
“Uncle Leo and I were watching a movie downstairs and he must have carried me up when I fell asleep.”  
“Oh. Okay.”  
“Go downstairs and tell Abuelita about the formula, okay?”  
“Okay.”

She leaves the room and I climb off the bed, careful not to wake Leo. I walk down the hall to my room and quietly go into the closet to change. When I’m done I quietly leave the room and close the door behind me. When I get downstairs, Abuelita says:  
“We’re switching them to formula?”  
“My milk is contaminated right now, and I’m leaving for Ireland in the morning…Yeah, let’s just switch them to formula.”  
“Alright.”  
“Where are Tristen and Ellie?”  
“In the barn…With Laroy.”  
“Laroy is here?!”  
“Yes, dear.”  
“Ugh. Thanks Abuelita.”

I head out the back of the house towards the barn, stopping to put my boots on and collect carrots for the horses. When I get to the barn, Tristen and Ellie are brushing Susie, and Laroy is watching from a safe distance.  
“You shouldn’t be here, Laroy. I told you not to come over today.”  
“I know. I’m sorry.”

I walk over to Susie’s stall and hand a carrot to Ellie.  
“For Susie.”  
“Yes, Mama.”

I then visit the other horses, including Tristen’s white mustang Firefly, and give them all carrots before approaching Raven. I stand at Raven’s stall door and hold my hand out for Laroy.  
“Laroy, come here.”  
“I am not getting near that horse.”  
“Stop being a chicken and get over here.”  
He walks over to me and says:  
“You sure he won’t bite me?”  
“I’m sure he hasn’t developed a taste for human flesh, yes.”  
We walk into Raven’s stall, Laroy keeping me between him and Raven. I put my hand on Raven’s neck and hand the carrot to Laroy.  
“Feed him the carrot and he’ll love you forever. Snap it in half and hold half on your flat, open palm. He won’t bite you, but it’ll tickle a bit when he takes it.”  
He looks at me like I’ve grown a second head.  
“It’s okay, I promise.”  
“I’m not sure I trust you.”  
“Then why are you here?”  
“That’s a good question.”  
“Legitimately, why are you here?”  
“I wanted to apologize for last night.”  
“You did that already.”  
“But you didn’t accept it.”  
“You’re right. But I’m under no obligation to accept your apology. Now, are you going to give Raven his carrot, or should I?”  
“You should…I should go. You were right, I shouldn’t be here.”  
“Okay.”  
I take the carrot from him and feed it to Raven.  
“Just like that? No argument?”  
“What do you want me to say Laroy? You won’t tell me why you are actually here.”  
“I don’t know why I’m here.”  
“Then you should leave. We’ll talk when I get back from Ireland. Now, I promised those two girls over there a trail ride this morning, so I need to get Raven tacked up.”

I walk out of the stall and into the tack room. When I come back with the tack, Laroy is gone. I tack up Raven and walk him out of the barn. The girls and I go on our ride and then come back to the barn. When I get off of Raven, Opie is standing in front of the barn. He looks pissed off, so I say:  
“Tristen, sweetheart, can you take care of Raven and make sure Ellie gets inside for breakfast?”  
“Sure, Ronnie.”  
“Thanks.”

I walk away, knowing Opie will follow me.   
“Why are you pissed off?”  
“Why was Leo asleep in the bed I expected to find you in this morning?”  
“Because clearly he was tired.”  
Suddenly there are hands on me, turning me around and slamming me into the side of the barn.  
“Why was Leo here last night?!”  
“He needed to talk. Nothing happened.”  
“I don’t believe you.”  
“Well, that’s your prerogative, but nothing happened. Now, get your hands off of me.”  
“Veronica, what happened last night?”  
“I smoked a couple of joints, Leo came over, we started watching The Big Lebowski, I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know Ellie was waking me up this morning. I was still wearing my pyjamas, and Leo was fully dressed. That combined with the fact that I know Leo wouldn’t do anything without my consent leads me to believe that nothing fucking happened!”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“I don’t give a shit. Get your hands off of me.”  
He lets me go and I walk away from him, towards the house. 

I walk into the kitchen and find all the kids, Abuelita, Jax, Leo, and Tig eating breakfast. I kiss all the kids and then walk over to Tig and kiss his cheek before saying:  
“I thought you weren’t coming to get me until noon.”  
“Gemma called and asked us to go over earlier.”  
“Okay. Let me go shower and change and then we can go.”

Abuelita says:  
“You need to eat breakfast my darling.”  
“I’m not hungry Abuelita.”  
“You don’t eat enough. You skip too many meals. You need to take better care of yourself.”  
“Nunca tengo hambre, abuelita. Demasiado estrés, creo. Quizás ir a Irlanda ayude.” (I’m just never hungry Grandma. Too much stress, I think. Maybe going to Ireland will help.)  
“Quizás necesites un divorcio y un nuevo comienzo, cariño. Este tampoco es el mejor entorno para los niños. Tómalos y corre. Ve a algún lugar que estos hombres no puedan encontrarte.” (Maybe you need a divorce and a fresh start, honey. This is not the best environment for children either. Take them and run. Go somewhere these men can’t find you.)  
“Abuelita, ¿eso es lo que realmente piensas? ¿Pensé que te gustaban?” (Grandma, is that what you really think? I thought you liked them?)  
“Sí, es lo que pienso. No son seguros para usted ni para los niños. Eli tampoco lo es. Necesitas llevar a tus hijos y correr.” (Yes, it is what I think. They are not safe for you or children. Eli isn’t either. You need to take your kids and run.)  
“Quizás estás en lo cierto. Lo pensare.” (Maybe you are right. I’ll think about it.)  
I kiss her on the cheek and turn to leave the room. As I walk towards the door, Opie grabs my arm and says:  
“Do you want to share with the group? What the hell was that conversation?”  
“Do you think that maybe we would have had the conversation in English if we wanted everyone to understand it? Now, let go of me, you are hurting me…again.”

Abuelita says:  
“¿Ves lo que quiero decir, cariño?” (You see what I mean, darling?)  
“Si, Abuelita.” (Yes, Grandma.)

I yank my arm away from Opie, a bruise already forming where his hand was, and I turn around and leave the room, walking upstairs. I close and lock the bedroom door behind me, get my clothes out of the closet and go into the bathroom, closing and locking that door behind me too.

I quickly shower and get dressed in jeans and a halter top that shows my arms and upper back, all of which are currently bruised. I leave the bathroom and grab my leather jacket as I leave the bedroom. When I walk back into the kitchen all conversation stops and Leo says:  
“What the hell? You didn’t have those bruises last night.”  
“Yeah, Opie was a little pissed when he saw you in the guest room.”  
“But nothing happened.”  
“I know. And I told him that.”

Opie says:  
“I said I was sorry.”  
“And I said I don’t give a shit. I told you that you needed to stop touching me when you were pissed, and you’ve done it twice so far this morning.”

I look at Tig and say:  
“Let’s go.”  
As I walk out of the room, Lilly appears in front of me.  
“What the hell are you doing Ronnie? What was that conversation? Have you lost your damn mind?”  
“Fuck off Lilly.”  
“I’m your sister! I’m trying to protect you!”  
“You’re dead, Lilly. You’re dead. You fucked your boyfriend’s father and he bashed your skull in with a fucking ashtray. Do you think that maybe you aren’t the best person to be giving life advice? And keep your thoughts about my conversation with Abuelita to yourself. None of them need to know what we were saying. Your meddling is not required.”

I walk out of the house, putting my jacket on as I go. When we get to the bike, Tig puts his hands on my waist and gently turns me around.   
“What’s going on baby? What did Lettie say?”  
“That maybe I need to divorce Jax and take the kids somewhere I can’t be found. That this isn’t a safe environment for me or the kids.”  
“And what did you say?”  
“That she wasn’t wrong. That I’d think about it.”  
“Veronica…”  
“Look at everything that’s happened to me since meeting Jax and tell me that the good outweighs the fucking horrible.”

He puts his hand on my cheek and says:  
“It doesn’t. But it will eventually.”  
“Will it? Maybe the only way to guarantee that is to leave and cut off contact.”  
“What the hell happened last night? You were fine when I saw you last.”  
“No, I wasn’t. I haven’t been fine in fucking months.”  
I shake my head and say:  
“Let’s go to Gemma’s.”  
“Yeah, okay. We’re not done with this conversation.”  
“Whatever you say, Tig.”

When we get to Gemma’s, I note what the cleaner did to make it look like a home invasion. We go inside and find Clay’s body positioned in the bedroom. We go back outside and I let myself think about Keith’s death, and the rape. I let myself get upset and then I call 9-1-1 to report the break-in and the murder.

When Leo and Wayne get there, Tig has his arms around me because he’s trying to calm me down. Leo tells us to go home and that he’ll come get a statement from us later.

Tig takes me home and then leaves. When I walk inside, no-one is anywhere in sight. I go into the kitchen and take out what I need to make snickerdoodles. Once I get the first batch in the oven, I make myself a sandwich, and when the next batch of cookies is baking, I sit down to eat. Once all the cookies are done, I leave them on the counter to cool and clean up the kitchen. As I finish, Felix walks in and says:  
“Snickerdoodles! You’re the best V.”  
“Where is everyone?”  
“Jax and Ope took the kids to see Piney.”  
“Oh. Okay. I’m going to go pack.”

I go upstairs and pack a bag for Ireland before changing into exercise clothes and heading downstairs and outside to go for a run. I do four laps of the trail before going back inside. The guys and the kids aren’t back yet, so I check my phone and see that I have a text from Jax saying:  
‘We’re at Piney’s. We’ll be home after dinner.’  
‘Did you not think maybe I wanted to spend some time with my kids today before I leave for Ireland tomorrow?’  
‘No. We didn’t think you did. You’ve been a little disconnected lately.’  
‘Wow…I wonder why that would be?’

I put my phone down and put the cookies away, some in the cookie jar and some in the freezer. I go upstairs and shower and change back into my jeans and halter before heading back downstairs and picking up my phone again. There’s another text from Jax saying:  
‘I get that things have been hard, but it’s no excuse to check out.’  
‘Go fuck yourself, Jax.’

I have a message from Clarence as well, saying:  
‘I’ll be at the house at 6:00 am to pick you up for the airport.’  
‘I’ll be ready.’

I put the phone in my pocket and go into the office to write a note for the kids. I tell them that I love them and I’ll be home in a few days. I tell them to listen to Abuelita and their Dads. I put the note in an envelope and write Abuelita’s name on the front. I set it on the counter in front of the cookie jar and go upstairs. I get my bag, purse, pyjamas, and clothes for tomorrow from my room and take it all into the guest room with me, locking the door behind me. 

I pull my phone out and I have multiple messages from Jax, which I ignore, and a message from Lyla saying:  
‘Leo told me what Clay did. Do you need me?’  
‘No, I’m fine love.’  
‘Okay. Leo says he’s coming to see you later. Think he might come home tonight?’  
‘Tell him not to. Clarence is picking me up really early tomorrow. Also, we fell asleep watching a movie. Nothing happened love.’  
‘Okay. I’ll let him know.’

I look at the messages from Jax without responding to them:  
‘You don’t get to be mad at me for pointing out that you aren’t coping well.’  
‘Maybe you should go to a therapy session.’  
‘I just mean, you’re not talking to us, so maybe you’ll talk to someone else.’  
‘Talk to me, Veronica.’  
‘I am your husband. You are supposed to talk to me about things.’  
‘Don’t go to Belfast. Stay home with us.’  
‘Maybe I need to read the letters. Maybe I need to know everything. Maybe the problem in the other future is that I didn’t know everything, I just knew enough to cause trouble.’  
‘I’m coming home. I want to talk to you.’

As I’m putting the phone down I hear the front door slam and Jax yell for me. I get up and unlock the door before going back to the bed and lying down. When he opens the door I sit up and say:  
“I think I should take the kids to Belfast with me.”  
“I think you should not go to Belfast. I think if we don’t poke at Maureen she won’t bother us.”  
“Oh? And you know this because of all your vast experience with Maureen?”  
“She’s stayed away this long.”  
“If you want me to stay home, I’ll stay home. I’m not going to fight with you. I don’t have the fucking energy.”  
“I want you to stay home.”

I send Clarence a text and say:  
‘I’m not going to Belfast. Jax decided I don’t need to get the letters.’  
‘Alright, sweetheart.’

I put the phone down and flop back onto the bed before quietly saying:  
“What happened to us, Jax?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“We used to talk…We used to go on rides together, curl up on the couch and watch movies or read or just…exist together. But ever since you came to Neptune it feels like all we do is fight and fuck. How did we become so volatile? I miss us.”  
“I don’t know what happened…I miss us too. How do we fix it?”  
“Maybe we just make a conscious effort everyday to be together more, talk more, touch in a non-sexual way more. Maybe it’s just going to take work.”  
“Can we start now? Can we go cuddle and watch a movie?”  
“Don’t you have to go get Ope and the kids? Or are we just leaving them at Piney’s?”  
“They’re home. They’re in the courtyard going for a swim.”  
“Let’s join them. You were right earlier, I’ve been disconnected.”  
“Alright, but after? Cuddle and watch a movie?”  
“Yeah.”

I get up and walk over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me tight against him.  
“I love you, Jax.”  
“I love you.”  
“Maybe you’re right about the JT stuff…Maybe you do need to know everything. But you need to talk to the club before making any decisions about things you learn, okay? You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want, but you do have to talk to the club. I’m just so afraid that anything we do will be wrong…But I can’t very well say that you listening to a dead man’s words is wrong when I’m taking advice from my dead sister. Speaking of which, I’m really fucking sick of her showing up.”  
“Just keep telling her to fuck off like you did this morning. By the way, I really don’t love the fact that Abuelita told you to divorce me and take the kids.”  
“She’s just worried about us. I think her worry is just feeding off of the volatility of our relationship. If we get more stable, she’ll be less worried.”  
“Yeah, maybe. Can we make a rule about English only from now on?”  
“Nope. It’s good for the kids to be exposed to different languages. Might I suggest you learn Spanish? How you grew up in California without learning even basic Spanish, I don’t understand.”  
“I didn’t need it. My best friend wasn’t Latino.”  
“I learned it in school, Jax.”  
“You’ve become more fluent lately.”  
“Yeah, because of Abuelita, Felix, and Eli…But mostly because of Clarence. He wants me to be fluent in multiple languages. He says Hebrew is next.”  
“Why?”  
“Because it’s useful in our line of work, especially since we have clients all over the world. Being able to speak to them without translators means more confidentiality.”  
“That makes sense.”  
“Speaking of work…I’m going to step back from the club side of things, you don’t need my help now that the treaties are in place and sane people are at the head of the table. I’ve hired another three investigators under me, so I’m going to focus on work and the kids.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I feel more like me when I’m not eyeballs deep in SAMCRO business. I love you, I love the club…I just feel like I’ve lost a little bit of me over the past few months, and I’d like to reclaim it.”  
“But you’re our queen.”  
“And I will continue to fulfill my duties as such…Family dinners and whatnot. Taking care of the idiots…But other than that, Jax, you don’t need me.”

He puts his fingers under my chin and makes me look up at him.  
“I always need you.”  
“I’m always here if you need to talk about something, but I’m not going to interfere anymore.”  
“I love you.”  
“I know.”  
“Brat.”

I stand on my toes and kiss him before stepping back and saying:  
“Let’s go swim with the kids.”

We go into our room and put our swimsuits on and then head downstairs. On our way to the courtyard, I grab the cookie jar and take it out with me. I put the cookie jar on a table and get in the pool, holding a finger up to my mouth in a ‘shhh’ signal to the kids as I sneak up behind Opie. The kids all blow my element of surprise by laughing, so Opie turns around and grabs me.  
“Trying to sneak up on me?”  
“Yeah…Someone told me a while ago that I needed to have more non-sex fun…I think he was right.”  
“I mean, sex fun is good too…”  
“I think I need to remember how to play…how to be me again.”  
“There’s nothing wrong with who you are now, love.”  
“Well, that’s just categorically untrue.”

I look over at the kids and say:  
“I made snickerdoodles earlier. They’re in the cookie jar on the table. You’d better go eat some before Uncle Felix eats them all. You know they’re his favourite.”

As the kids get out of the pool and walk over to where Jax and the cookies are, Opie leans towards me and quietly says:  
“You’re not going to leave us, are you?”  
“Not anytime soon.”  
“Why does Abuelita want you to?”  
“She’s worried about me and the kids. She thinks this is an unsafe environment…and she’s not entirely wrong.”

His hands tighten on my waist and I say:  
“Breathe, babe. I don’t mean you. Did you know that Laroy was here this morning? I found him in the barn with Ellie and Tristen. Then there’s the two men who have been killed on our property in the past three days…Not exactly Fort Knox around here.”  
“Why was Laroy here?”  
“I don’t know. Neither did he. I told him to leave and that we’d talk when I got back from Ireland, but now I’m not going to Ireland, so…”  
“You’re not?”  
“No. Jax thinks that we’d be better off if he knew everything. That the actual issue in the other future wasn’t that he knew things, but that he didn’t know all the things.”  
“What do you think?”  
I shrug and shake my head as I say:  
“I don’t know…I don’t know.”  
“You always have an opinion.”  
“Not this time.”  
“Why?”  
“I feel like I’m broken, Ope. Like, after everything that’s happened I was hanging on by a thread…Then Clay…I feel like that thread snapped, and I just feel lost. Like I’m not me anymore, like I’m not real? Like I’m not here. It’s like I’m just watching myself go through the motions of being me, but I don’t feel like I’m me.”  
“I think you need to talk to someone.”  
“Yeah. I know.”  
“Let’s go upstairs…I’ll make you feel better.”  
“I don’t want to, Ope.”  
“With me, or at all?”  
“At all. Can you let me go?”  
“Babe…”  
“Please, Opie.”

He loosens his arms and I step away from him before getting out of the pool. I walk over to the kids and Jax and pick Abel up out of the chair he’s sitting on. I sit down and put Abel on my lap.  
“How many cookies have you eaten?”  
“Lots Mama.”  
“So no-one’s hungry for dinner then?”

Ellie looks at me and says:  
“What are we having?”  
“Whether you’re hungry or not depends on what we’re having?”  
She thinks for a minute and says:  
“Yes.”  
“That’s my girl. How about…Lasagna?”  
“Nope. Not hungry for that.”  
“Hmmm….What about…Fajitas?”  
“Abuelita’s are better than yours Mama.”  
“Well, that’s just an unfair comparison. What about…Pizza?”  
“You don’t like pizza, Mama.”  
“I’m not really hungry baby.”  
“Abuelita says you need to eat more. She says you’re going to make yourself sick. She says you need a less stressful life, and that you should take us and leave…We’re not leaving, are we Mama?”  
“Of course not baby. This is our home.”  
“Abuelita says you need to take better care of yourself and make better choices. She yelled at Uncle Eli earlier too, about how he shouldn’t be encouraging you to make poor choices and he needs to let go and move on. What was she talking about Mama?”  
“I don’t know. Did she say all of this in English?”  
“No, Spanish.”  
“Your Spanish is much better than we thought it was.”  
“I’ve been practicing with Uncle Felix and Uncle Eli.”  
“Clever girl. Mama could make spinach pie for dinner…What do you think?”  
“And greek salad?”  
“Sure.”  
“And baclava?”  
“Demanding little girl…I made you cookies already.”  
“Please, Mama? Please? Uncle Leo’s recipe?”  
“What does everyone else think?”

Abel nods violently, and Kenny says:  
“Yes please!”  
Jax says:  
“I’ve never had these things, I can’t vote. Go with what the kids want.”

I shrug and say:  
“Okay. Guess I’d better get to work.”  
Ellie says:  
“Can I help, Mama?”  
“Yes. But you need to change into clothes first. Let’s go upstairs, I have to change too.”

A little while later, Ellie and I have dinner made and everyone has changed into pyjamas. We decide that we’re going to eat dinner in the living room, so I set the kids up around the coffee table while Jax feeds Dee and Opie feeds Tommy. 

Once everyone has their food and the babies have been fed, I ask the kids what movie they want to watch. The boys are ambivalent, so Ellie decides that we need to watch The Princess Diaries. I put the movie on and sit down between Opie and Jax to eat dinner. Once I’m done eating, I curl into Jax, resting my head on his shoulder and intertwining our fingers. He turns and kisses the top of my head before whispering:  
“This is nice. And dinner was fantastic. I’ve missed this.”  
“Me too. I love you.”

When the kids finish their dinner they all start asking for dessert. I pause the movie and start to get up, but Opie says:  
“I’ve got it.”

While he’s gone, I change how I’m sitting so I’m still pressed up against Jax, but I’m more upright, so when Opie comes back he has the option to lie on the couch and put his head on my lap.

Once the kids all have their dessert, I reach out for Opie and say:  
“Come cuddle.”  
“I didn’t think you wanted me to.”  
“Of course I do. Lie down, Ope.”  
He lies down with his head on my lap and I start running my fingers through his hair and twisting the ends while Jax presses play on the movie. As the kids finish their dessert they climb up on the couch with us. Ellie curls up on Jax’s lap, Abel lies down on top of Opie, and Kenny climbs up onto the back of the couch before sliding down and sitting on my shoulders. While he’s up there I lean back and use his tummy as a pillow and he starts playing with my hair, twisting strands together in what I’m sure will be a massive knot by the time he’s done. 

As the movie ends, Leo walks in and says:  
“I missed movie night?”  
“I told Lyla to tell you not to come.”  
“She did, but then she broke up with me, so I decided I didn’t have to listen to her.”  
“Oh Leo…Is that because you didn’t go home last night?”  
“Yeah…It’s fine. We all knew it wasn’t going to last.”  
“There’s spinach pie, salad, and baclava in the kitchen if you’re hungry.”  
“My recipes?”  
“Well, your Mom’s, but yeah.”  
“Want me to put on a new movie first?”  
“Please. Hercules?”  
“Sure.”

He gets some dinner and then sits down on the floor in front of me with his head pressed against my knee. We watch the movie with Ellie and I singing along to all the songs, and Kenny yelling at us for being annoying. By the end of the movie, Ellie and I are laughing so hard at Kenny that neither of us can breathe. 

“Okay, little ones. Time for bed. Daddy will take you up. Give hugs.”  
The kids all give Jax, Leo, and me hugs and kisses before running up the stairs. As they and Opie leave, Leo says:  
“We never actually got to watch The Big Lebowski last night…Someone fell asleep before it even started. Do you want to watch it tonight? I feel bad that you didn’t get your Dude fix.”  
“I’m on board, but the twins need to be fed and put to bed, and if I’m watching the Dude, I want pot.”  
“Ah…The real reason the kids are on formula now.”  
“Actually, that’s so I can go back on my anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds.”  
“That makes more sense.”

Jax gets up to make bottles for the twins and when he comes back he has my phone.  
“You have six messages from Lyla. Check on her. Leo and I will deal with the babies.”  
“Okay.”

I get up and go into the office, closing the door behind me before sitting on the couch and checking my messages.  
‘I broke up with Leo.’  
‘He left, so I assume he’s going to your house.’  
‘You aren’t going to choose him over me, right?’  
‘I know you wouldn’t do that. I know you love me.’  
‘Why aren’t you answering?’  
‘Call me.’

I dial Lyla’s number and wait for her to answer.  
“Ronnie…”  
“Sweetheart, why did you break up with him?”  
“I asked him why he didn’t come home when you fell asleep last night. He said that he will always choose to stay with you. I mean, I knew that, but actually hearing it hurt.”  
“I’m sorry La. What can I do?”  
“Don’t fuck him. I don’t just mean now…I mean, never fuck him. Don’t give him what he wants.”  
“Lyla…”  
“I know it’s fucking vindictive and not fair to ask of you, but it’s what I’m asking.”  
“Lyla.”  
“I know you want him, okay?! I know! I know what I’m asking. Please.”  
“Okay.”  
“He’s there, isn’t he? He ran straight to you when I broke up with him.”  
“Where else was he supposed to go, Lyla? You were living together. He doesn’t have anywhere to stay. His family is in Neptune, and he doesn’t have any friends outside the club.”  
“Make him stay with Tig or Juice…Piney, anyone but you. Don’t let him stay there.”  
“I am not kicking my friend out Lyla. I already promised I wouldn’t fuck him, I am not kicking him out.”  
She hangs up on me, so I stand up to leave the office. I haven’t made it over to the door yet when Leo walks in and closes the door behind him.

“Leo…”  
“I just need to touch you. Please. Jax said it was okay.”  
“Okay.”  
He walks over to me and kisses me, deep and passionate like our kisses have been lately. I tangle the fingers of one hand in his hair and run the other hand up his abdomen and chest under his shirt before moving it to his back. He runs his fingers under the waistband of my pyjama pants and pulls off my mouth enough to say:  
“Can I? I desperately want to taste you.”  
“I promised Lyla I wouldn’t fuck you.”  
“Not asking for that. Jax threatened to kill me if my cock touched you. But he said it was up to you if you let me eat you out or not. Please, Veronica?”  
“Yes.”  
He groans and kisses me again as he pushes my pyjama pants off my hips. I step out of the pants as they fall down and he picks me up and sets me on my desk. He starts kissing down my body while pushing me back on the desk so I’m lying down. He lifts my hips up and I rest my legs on his shoulders. I watch as he looks at me and licks his lips before saying:  
“God, Veronica.”  
“Are you going to touch me or just stare at me?”

He leans in and runs his tongue along me, moaning as he dips into my entrance. I moan and say:  
“Leo…Please.”

I feel him grin against me, then he starts licking at and sucking on my clit, using so much pressure that I cry out, partially out of pain, but mostly out of pleasure.  
“Jesus Christ, Leo.”  
He keeps going until I orgasm, crying out his name. He gently laps at me, bringing me back down before moving away from me.

“Leo…Are you that fucking good at other things too?”  
“Maybe you’ll find out someday.”

I get off the desk and kiss him before dropping to my knees in front of him and undoing his pants.  
“Veronica.”  
“I want to suck your cock. I want you to come in my mouth.”  
“Well, far be it for me to interfere in what you want."  
I push his pants and boxers down and lick his cock, twisting my tongue around the tip before licking down the shaft and back up again. I take him in my mouth and move my tongue along him as I bob my head and suck. He moans and says:  
“Veronica…”

I take him deeper into my mouth and moan in my throat as he gasps.   
“Veronica, I’m so close.”  
I suck harder and run my nails along his thighs. He puts his hand on the back of my head and holds me in place, pulling my hair as he comes. I swallow and lick him off as he pulls out of my mouth. 

He grabs my arms and pulls me up to my feet before kissing me roughly, it’s all tongues and teeth and I can feel him get hard against me.   
“I want you.”  
“I promised Lyla, and didn’t Jax threaten you with death?”  
“You’re worth it.”  
“No. I’m not.”  
“Bullshit.”

I pull away and put my pyjama pants back on.  
“I’m fucking damaged Leo. I don’t feel like I’m me anymore. I feel like I’m disconnected, floating above myself watching someone try to be me. Don damaged me, Lee fucked me up even worse…but…it’s like I was hanging on by a thread, barely…then Clay…my father-in-law forcing himself on me the way he did…it just snapped the thread.”  
“Veronica, you are not damaged.”  
“Yes. I am. Put your pants back on.”

He puts his pants back on and then wraps his arms around me and walks me to the couch and sits down with me in his lap.  
“Why do you think you are damaged?”  
“One example?”  
“Sure.”  
“Yesterday morning I was lying on this couch wearing only my panties with a naked Tig on top of me. He was jerking off and drinking breastmilk. Yesterday afternoon I fucked Eli and immediately afterwards fucked Opie while Eli and Jax were five feet away. I considered letting all three of them fuck me at once, but thought better of it. Yesterday evening I made Jax re-enact his step-father raping me to try to re-form the memories of it without Clay. I made him hurt me. It broke him.”  
“That doesn’t mean you are damaged.”  
“The fact that I am married to two amazing guys who both happen to be fucking sex gods and yet I keep fucking other people…That means I’m damaged. Something broke in me after Lee…Hell, maybe it was always broken. Maybe it’s just another sign of me being my mother’s daughter. Let me go, please.”

He moves his arms and I stand up and leave the room. I go in the kitchen and clean up from dinner then I go upstairs. As I’m walking up the stairs I hear Jax say:  
“So what happened, Leo?”  
“Exactly what you said could. She seems to think she’s damaged. That there’s something wrong with her. She referred to herself as her mother’s daughter.”  
“Shit.”  
I can’t hear the rest of the conversation because I stepped into the guest room to collect my things before walking into my room. I put my things down and walk into the bathroom before brushing my teeth and getting in the shower. I quickly wash and then step out and get re-dressed in my pyjamas. I manage to hold off the tears until I’m in bed. I lie down on one edge of the bed and put pillows behind me, hoping that the guys take the hint that I don’t want to be touched. I cry myself to sleep and only wake up when I feel myself being moved.  
“I don’t want to be touched…Please.”  
Opie whispers in my ear:  
“Why?”  
“I’m broken…damaged. There’s something wrong with me. You’re both better off without me. You should kick me out before I fully become Lianne. I’m going to hurt you. Hurt Jax. Hurt the kids. I know I am. I won’t mean to, but it’ll happen because there’s something wrong with me.”  
“That is fucking bullshit Veronica.”  
“I don’t think it is. I think something was always broken in me, and Don chipped away at it, and Lee chipped away at it, and Clay finally snapped it off. I have moments where I feel like a normal person, like I can be a good mom to the kids, a good wife to you guys…But most of the time, I feel like I’m a fucking failure. Like everything is about to fall apart and it’s all going to be my fault.”  
“You are insane if you think either of us is ever going to leave you or kick you out. You have been hurt, yes…But you are not damaged or broken. You are not going to hurt those kids, and the only way you ever hurt us is when you don’t let us comfort you.”  
“Or when I fuck someone else, which I keep fucking doing because there’s something wrong with me.”  
“No there isn’t.”  
“There must be! I have you and Jax. You’re both amazing, and sexy, and sweet, and loving, and fucking sex gods, and for some inexplicable reason in love with me. Why the fuck would any sane, undamaged person ever want to have sex with anyone else?”  
“No-one ever said you were sane, my love.”  
I laugh and say:  
“I suppose that’s true. I’m sorry. I’m spiralling again. I don’t mean to be crazy. We were having such a good night…”  
“Did you fuck him?”  
“No. He ate me out…He’s surprisingly really fucking good at that, by the way…then I got caught up and sucked his cock. I’ve brushed my teeth since.”  
“Then we can sidestep the spiral and continue to have a good night.”  
“Can we?”  
“Of course. Now, how we do that is up to you. Do you want me to just hold you? Do you want us to go take a bath? Do you want me to make you forget his hands and mouth on you?”  
“Can we do all three? Starting with making me forget and ending with holding me? I do have a question first though.”  
“What’s your question?”  
“What happened last night after I left?”  
“You want me to go into sordid detail?”  
“Uh…yeah.”  
“Nothing. I mean, nothing really.”  
“Ope, don’t hold out on me. It’s cruel.”  
“You had already taken care of Jax…Thanks for that, by the way, leaving me all hot and bothered.”  
“You’re welcome.”  
“He was convinced that we were attracted to each other, so he offered to suck my cock. You had told me to stop being an idiot, and you are smarter than me, so I figured you might be right, so I told him he could. It was weird and gross for both of us. It lasted like five seconds before he bowed out. He went and brushed his teeth, and I thought about you and your amazing mouth and took care of myself.”

I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face as I say:  
“Oh, my poor babies.”  
“You’re such a brat.”  
“Well, I had to encourage it…The idea of the two of you fucking each other really turns me on. It’s unfortunate that it won’t happen.”

He picks me up and puts me down on top of him as he’s lying in bed.   
“I want you, Ronnie.”  
“Then take me. Whatever you need…rough, gentle…I’m game. Fuck me, Ope.”  
“Get up and take off your clothes.”  
I lean forward and kiss him deeply.  
“I want you Ope, but I want Jax too. Can you share me again? I want to feel you both inside me.”  
“I’ll get him.”  
“Are you okay with this? If you aren’t, it’s okay. I always want you.”  
“Oh, my baby…Of course it’s okay.”  
I get up and stand next to the bed while he walks out into the hallway and says:  
“Jax? The queen requests your presence.”  
I hear Jax say:  
“I thought we agreed that you were going to get one-on-one time?”  
Opie laughs and says:  
“The queen demands that we share her.”  
I hear Jax moving up the stairs as he says:  
“Oh, yes please.”

When they walk into the room, I’m standing there naked. They both start stripping as soon as they are through the door, and once they get closer to the bed I grab Jax and kiss him before kissing Opie and directing him to lie down on the bed. Once he’s lying down, I climb onto the bed and straddle him, kissing him while I sink down onto his cock. I whimper as he bottoms out and I lean forward so my face is next to his neck. I feel Jax lubing up my ass as he gently stretches it before sliding his cock in. I moan loudly when he’s completely inside. It feels so good, almost as if I could come just from this. I pant in Opie’s ear and say:  
“I need you both to move. Don’t be gentle. Fuck me.”

Opie kisses me at the same time as Jax leans over to kiss my spine. Jax pulls me into an upright position and adjusts himself so he’s kneeling beneath me, then Opie sits up. The change in angle makes me scream and from the doorway I hear:  
“Holy shit.”  
“Leo, if you’re going to watch, come in and close the door. If not, leave and close the door.”  
“I’m allowed to watch?”  
“Yes. Just be quiet and let me focus on the cocks currently inside me.”

I take a deep breath and say:  
“You two had better start moving soon.”  
Jax growls in my ear:  
“Or what, little girl?”  
“Or I might start crying due to deprivation…Fuck me Jax.”  
He grabs my chin and turns my head before roughly kissing me and moving his hand to my throat. He squeezes hard enough that I start gasping for air as they start thrusting. They are thrusting quickly and roughly and Opie is kissing me. The kiss is all teeth, biting my lips and tongue before biting along my jaw and biting hard on the sensitive spot he loves to exploit. I drag my nails down Opie’s back and when I look at my hands they have blood on them, but Opie doesn’t seem to care. I move one of my hands behind me to grab the back of Jax’s head, pulling hard on his hair as Opie pinches my clit and I come screaming. They both follow me over the edge, moaning my name. We just stay like that for a minute, trying to catch our breath. I say:  
“Holy crap.”  
Opie kisses me and lies back, pulling me with him, allowing Jax space to pull out. Once he does, he gently lifts me off of Opie and lies me down on the bed, covering me with a blanket, and wrapping me in his arms. He softly kisses me and whispers:  
“I love you so much Veronica. You did so good, baby.”  
Opie curls behind me and softly pets my hair and my arm, kissing the top of my head. He puts his mouth against my ear and whispers:  
“You aren’t damaged or broken. You have just been hurt, and we will do everything we can to heal that hurt. We love you.”

I curl into Jax more, pulling Opie’s arm tighter around me and start to cry. Jax says:  
“Leo, get out.”  
“Is she okay?”  
“She’s had a rough few days, and this is when she allows herself to be vulnerable. Get out.”

A little while after I hear Leo leave the room, I say:  
“We should shower and I should check Ope’s back. I think I carved it up pretty good with my nails.”  
Opie laughs and says:  
“You did. It definitely stings.”  
“I’m sorry babe.”  
“Don’t apologize for that. It felt good…It just stings now.”

We go shower, and I clean the cuts on Opie’s back before we go back to bed. As I’m closing my eyes I say:  
“When is Gemma coming back?”  
Jax says:  
“Tomorrow afternoon. It was the soonest Luann could get away from the convention thing they are at.”  
“I need my phone.”  
“Why?”  
“I need to tell Wayne the truth. He needs to be on board.”  
“Shit. You’re right.”

Opie passes me my phone and I send a text to Wayne:  
‘Can you come to the house for breakfast tomorrow? There’s something I need to talk to you about.’  
‘Of course darlin’. Bright and early?’  
‘Yeah…Say…7:00 am?’  
‘I’ll be there.’  
‘Thanks Wayne.’

While I’m holding the phone, it rings. It’s Lyla, so I answer it, snuggling back into Opie’s side as I do.  
“Hi. You hung up on me earlier.”  
“I’m sorry, V. I’m so sorry.”  
“It’s okay.”  
“It’s not. I made a completely unreasonable request of you and then got pissed when you wouldn’t do it.”  
“It’s fine, La.”  
“How long was he at the house before he tried to convince you to fuck him?”  
“He hasn’t tried.”  
“So you’re telling me that Leo, the guy who couldn’t keep his hands off of you when I was dating him, is now single and hasn’t touched you?”  
“I didn’t say that Lyla. I said he hasn’t tried to convince me to fuck him.”  
“What happened?”  
“Are you going to hang up on me again?”  
“Maybe. What happened?”  
“He ate me out…You were holding out on me by the way. We have had numerous conversations about sex with Leo and you never told me how good at that he is.”  
“He’s never…He’s never eaten me out. He said the idea of it grosses him out. But clearly that isn’t the case for you.”  
“Oh…Lyla. I’m sorry.”  
“Did you ask him to, or did he volunteer?”  
“Lyla…”  
“So he volunteered. What exactly happened?”  
“He said that Jax had given him permission to touch me. He kissed me and then told me he desperately wanted to taste me. I didn’t know, Lyla.”  
“You said he was good at it?”  
“He’s definitely done it before, that technique doesn’t just happen.”  
“Did he seem to enjoy it?”  
“Yeah…He did.”  
“I’m going to hang up now, but I’m not hanging up on you…I just, can’t.”  
“Okay…Lyla?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you.”  
She hangs up and I roll my eyes.  
“I need to get up.”  
Opie says:  
“Why?”  
“I need to go beat the shit out of Leo.”  
“Oh, well then…By all means, get up.”

I get out of bed and put my pyjamas on before leaving the room. I close the door behind me and walk down the hall to the guest room. I knock on the door before opening it. When I walk in, I find Leo lying on the bed jerking off.   
“Still all hot and bothered?”  
“Jesus Christ, Veronica…that was so fucking hot. Come here.”  
I close the door behind me and walk over to the bed, lying down next to him before leaning in and putting my lips against his ear and whispering:  
“You thought that was hot, huh?”  
“Yeah.”  
“What was your favourite part?”  
“Absolutely all of it. Have you always liked rough sex?”  
“Yes, but since my first experience with sex was a fairly violent rape, I don’t know how much that influenced my likes and dislikes.”  
“You like being hurt.”  
“Within limits…Yes.”  
“And they always stay within those limits?”  
“Yes. Of course they do.”  
“Even when you don’t abide by their rules?”  
“Like what?”  
“Like if you fuck someone else. Would they go outside your limits? Hurt you more than you can handle?”  
“No. It would just upset them.”

He grabs my hand and puts it on his cock.  
“Help me with this. I need you. Please.”  
I pull my hand away and say:  
“I will kiss you, and talk to you…But I won’t touch you, and I certainly won’t fuck you.”  
“You will eventually fuck me, because you’ll be too curious to resist. But I’ll accept kissing for tonight.”  
“Speaking of my curiosity…How did you get so good at that?”  
“Eating you out? I dated a porn star, remember?”  
“Yeah, a porn star that I’ve gone down on more than you have. She says you never ate her out. She says you claimed that the idea of it grossed you out. So how did you get so good? And why did you lie to Lyla? Because Leo, you moaned with pleasure when you tasted me, it didn’t gross you out at all.”  
“I’m not going to get to finish jerking off am I?”  
“Probably not.”  
“I am doomed to die of blue balls being around you.”

I laugh and lean in to kiss him. When he tangles his fingers in my hair and holds me in place, I deepen the kiss and gently put my hand on his throat, putting just a little bit of pressure. He moans and goes back to jerking off, so I add more pressure until he gasps against my mouth and moans my name.  
“More, Veronica.”  
I grin against his mouth and put more pressure on his throat before I move my mouth off of his and bite his neck below his ear. He moans as he comes and I loosen my hand and gently kiss him.   
“I didn’t get the choking thing before, but I get it now.”  
“It’s good, right?”  
“Yeah.”  
“I’m glad you enjoyed it…Now explain why you lied to Lyla.”  
“I learned how to do it so well in high school. And I never ate Lyla out because the thought of putting my mouth on that pussy that other people fuck all day grossed me out. But you…I’ve fantasized about eating you out since the first time I saw you.”  
“Is that why you didn’t step in when Don was manhandling me at that party? You were too busy imagining what my pussy tasted like? You could have just asked Don.”  
“I realize that I fucked up, Veronica.”  
“You did…But not with me. Lyla fucks women all day, not guys. Have you never seen her movies? She is CaraCara’s top girl-on-girl performer. And her pussy tastes fucking amazing. You’re an idiot.”  
“I just wanted you…I didn’t actually want her.”  
“Leo…You made my best friend fall in love with you, and then you hurt her over and over. I love you, but you are a fucking asshole.”

I get up off the bed and walk towards the door. Before I get there, he grabs me and turns me around.  
“I am in love with you. Lyla was the closest I could actually have. I didn’t think she would fall in love with me. I mean, she’s a porn star, a whore…”  
He doesn’t finish his thought because I punch him in the face and leave the room. 

I walk back to my bedroom and close the door behind me. Jax says:  
“Take off your pyjamas and come back to bed, babe.”  
“I need to clean the cuts on my hand first. Leo’s face is hard.”  
“You actually punched him?”  
“He fucking deserved it.”  
“You love him…What the hell did he do to make you so fucking angry?”  
“He hurt Lyla…Lied to her. I hadn’t decided to punch him until he called her a whore. I may have snapped a little.”  
“Well, you do have an issue with that word. Do you need help cleaning your hand?”  
“No. I’m good.”

I walk into the bathroom and wash my hands, then strip out of my pyjamas and climb back into bed, curling into Jax and Opie.


	21. Ides of March

When my alarm goes off the next morning I get up and shower before getting dressed. I head downstairs and make quiche for our breakfast with Wayne. Once I get that in the oven, I go out to feed the horses before coming back in to feed the babies. I’m sitting at the kitchen island with the twins in their bouncy chairs in front of me, drinking a coffee and reading a case file when Leo walks in.  
“There’s fresh coffee.”  
“You’re speaking to me?”  
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”  
“Last I saw you, you were punching me in the face. Thought you might still be mad.”  
“I punched you, I’m done now.”  
“So I can stay here for a while?”  
“Yeah…You just need to stay out of our bedroom and keep your hands off of me.”  
“Really?”  
“These are not unreasonable conditions, Leo.”  
“I can’t even hug you? Or kiss you?”  
“Hugs are acceptable, kisses are not.”  
“Why?”  
“We need to set some boundaries, Leo.”  
“Okay…If that’s what you need. You want more coffee?”  
“Please.”  
I hold my coffee cup out to him and he takes it as I shake my head at the case file in front of me. He hands the cup back to me and I say:  
“Thanks”

I pick up my phone and call Michael, the investigator assigned to this case.   
“Veronica? It’s only 7:30 am here.”  
“You’re right. It’s only 6:30 am here. And yet, I’m awake enough to realize that the case file you messengered to me yesterday is not complete. Where are your notes from your surveillance on the ex-wife?”  
“I didn’t do any surveillance on her. I don’t think she’s the one doing it.”  
“Michael…Do you get paid to develop theories?”  
“No ma’am.”  
“What do I pay you for?”  
“Following orders and performing surveillance on the targets you select.”  
“Exactly. So how are you going to be spending your day?”  
“Following the ex-wife around.”  
“Very good, Michael. I expect an emailed copy of your notes by tomorrow evening. At least twenty-four hours of surveillance as usual.”  
“Yes ma’am.”

I hang up and look at Leo, because he’s staring at me.  
“What?”  
“Just…I’ve never seen the badass boss bitch side before.”  
“I’m going to be focusing on work and the kids from now on, leave the club in Jax’s capable hands…Less interfering.”

I get up and take the quiche out of the oven and quickly assemble a fruit salad.   
“Can you go set the table? Wayne will be joining us for breakfast.”  
“Kids too?”  
“No. I’m going to get Abuelita to take them out for breakfast.”

Abuelita walks into the room and I say:  
“Can you and Felix take the kids out for breakfast this morning? The twins can stay, but we need to have an upsetting conversation with Unser, and it would be better if the older kids weren’t here.”  
“Of course, my sweet girl. I’ll go get them ready now.”  
“Thank you Abuelita.”

I wait for her to leave the room, then yell for Felix. When he walks in the room I say:  
“You and Abuelita are going to take the older kids out for breakfast, okay?”  
“Yeah. Okay.”  
“Can you go wake up Jax and Ope? Tell them Wayne will be here any minute?”  
“Are they naked?”  
“Yes.”  
“I will close my eyes then. There’s only so many times a guy can see those dicks without feeling self-conscious.”  
“Thank you Felix.”

As he leaves the room, Dee starts fussing so I pick her up and hold her while I finish my coffee.  
“Your Uncle Felix is crazy, baby girl…Actually, all your Uncles are crazy, I apologize for that.”

My phone rings and when I look at the caller ID I’m shocked to see that it’s Dick.  
“Hello Richard.”  
“Ouch, Ronnie.”  
“What do you want?”  
“To come visit you. I miss you.”  
“And who’s fault is that?”  
“Mine. I know it’s my fault. Please Ronnie. I miss you. I miss the kids.”  
“I’ll think about it.”  
“You have to think about it?”  
“Dick…If I think about it, the answer might be yes. If I don’t, it’ll be no. Which would you prefer?”  
“Forget I said anything, think as much as you’d like.”  
“I’ll let you know what I decide.”  
“Okay…Ronnie?”  
“Yeah, Dick?”  
“I love you, you know that right?”  
“Yeah, Dick. I know. I love you too. I’ll let you know if you can come and visit, okay?”  
“Okay. Bye Ronnie.”  
“Bye Dick.”  
I hang up and put my phone down as Wayne walks in.  
“Hey Wayne. Thanks for coming.”  
“No problem, darlin’. Is this little one being clingy?”  
“Always. She’s high maintenance.”

Jax walks in behind Wayne and says:  
“Like her Mama and her big sister. My girls are going to be the death of me.”  
Opie walks in and says:  
“Us…They’ll be the death of us.”  
Wayne laughs as Felix walks in the room and says:  
“We’re leaving now, boss. Do you want us to take them anywhere after breakfast?”  
“Maybe over to Elliott’s to see Tristen? Call over there first, Felix.”  
“Yeah, V. Okay.”  
“Thanks.”

Felix walks out of the room and Wayne says:  
“No kids at breakfast? Rough conversation, huh?”  
“Yeah.”  
I put Dee back in her bouncy chair and say:  
“Jax, Ope, can you bring the babies into the dining room?”  
“Yup.”  
“Wayne, go sit down. I’ll be right there.”  
“You don’t need help carrying anything, Veronica?”  
Leo walks in the room and says:  
“I’ll help carry things.”  
Wayne looks at Leo’s face and says:  
“What the hell happened to you?”  
“Veronica punched me.”  
“Why?”  
I say:  
“Because he called Lyla a whore.”  
Wayne shakes his head and says:  
“You’re an idiot, son. You don’t call the queen’s best friend a whore. You’re lucky all she did was punch you.”  
“I know. I’m stupid.”  
“Uh…Yeah.”  
Wayne leaves the room and I say:  
“Leo, take the fruit salad and the pitcher of orange juice from the fridge.”  
“Okay. You’re good with the quiche?”  
“Yup.”

Once the food is all in the dining room and everyone is eating, I say:  
“Wayne, Gemma is coming home this afternoon. We need you to stick with the home invasion story about Clay’s death.”  
“But it clearly wasn’t a home invasion, Veronica.”  
“I know. I killed him.”  
“I think you’d better tell me the whole story, darlin’.”  
“He raped me, then two hours later had the nerve to show up here uninvited for dinner. I shot him in the head and had the cleaner move his body and stage the home invasion.”  
“There’s no way Clay would have raped you. He loved you.”

I reach over and hold his hand while I press play on the recording I made. I keep my eyes fixed on Leo’s the whole time it plays and watch as he tries to maintain composure. When the recording is done, Wayne says:  
“Jesus…I’m sorry, Veronica. Why don’t you just play this for Gemma?”  
“I convinced the club to not strip Clay of his patch posthumously, and convinced them all to keep the secret. Gemma deserves to mourn the husband she knew, not whoever that was. She also deserves to be the queen mother, not the old lady of a dead excommunicated member.”  
“Okay…I’ll keep the secret. You want to tell me who actually killed him? Because you aren’t a murderer Veronica.”

I turn towards the doorway and lock eyes with Tig, who just walked in, before saying:  
“Wayne, you have no idea what I am. I shot him. Jax, Opie, and Tig were all there.”  
Tig steps into the room and says:  
“It’s true, Unser. Veronica is the one who shot Clay. Pissed me off because she wouldn’t let me kill him when she walked out of his house after he raped her. Because I really wanted to.”  
Jax says:  
“She didn’t even blink. She just walked up, shot him, put the gun down, then pressed play on that awful recording before calling the cleaner and Leo.”

Leo gets up from the table then, saying:  
“I just need a minute.”  
As he leaves the room, I say:  
“I hadn’t played the recording for him before. I’m going to go make sure he’s okay.”

I follow Leo out of the room, Tig squeezing my hand on the way by. When I find Leo, he’s sitting on the couch in my office, crying. I kneel in front of him and put my hands on his thighs before saying:  
“It’s okay, Leo. I’m okay.”  
“He was supposed to love you and protect you. He was your father-in-law. Why would he do that?”  
“Because Clay had a need to be in control. I told him that I knew things that he didn’t want me to know. He needed to show me that he was still in control. That he could hurt me if he wanted.”  
“I know you made a rule about touching, but please, Veronica. Come up here so I can hold you. Please.”

I stand up and straddle his lap before wrapping my arms around him and resting my head on his shoulder.   
“I’m okay, Leo. I promise.”  
He wraps his arms around me and squeezes me tightly against himself. We’re still sitting like that a few minutes later when Tig walks in.  
“Well, isn’t this cozy?”  
“Tig…”  
“So why did we lie to Unser?”

I get up off of Leo’s lap and walk over to Tig.  
“If Gemma finds out that it was a Mayan who shot Clay, regardless of the circumstances, she will do something stupid and blow up our treaties.”  
“That doesn’t mean Unser can’t know the truth.”  
“Wayne is in love with Gemma. Can you lie to people you love?”  
“Yes.”  
“The love of your life? Because that’s what Gemma is for Wayne.”  
He shrugs and says:  
“I don’t know. I’ve never felt that way about anyone.”  
I step closer to him and put my hand on his cheek before whispering in his ear:  
“That right there? That inability to believably lie? That’s why Wayne has to think that I killed Clay.”  
I step back and say:  
“Jax wants to know everything that Lilly showed us.”  
“But…”  
“He thinks the issue in the alternate future is that he didn’t know everything. He knew some, and Tara knew some, and they were not working together. Also, we have the benefit of Clay being dead, so if we tell Jax everything, we should be able to keep it all under control.”  
“If you think it’ll be okay, I trust you. You know what’s at stake.”  
I step closer to him again and put both of my hands on his neck, running my thumbs along his jaw.  
“We will not let Dawn die, Alexander.”  
“It’s not just Dawn, baby. I cannot watch my daughter die, lose my brothers, and then bury you…I can’t, sweetheart.”  
“Everything will be okay. I promise.”

Leo gets up off the couch and says:  
“I’m going to go see the horses.”  
“Stay away from Raven. He doesn’t like you.”  
“Noted.”

Once he’s left the room, Tig steps closer to me and wraps his arms around my waist.   
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, little girl.”  
“Fine. We will do our best to make sure that everything is okay.”  
“Just promise me you won’t kill yourself if they die. Promise me I won’t lose you too.”  
“Didn’t you just tell me not to make promises I couldn’t keep?”  
“Your kids need you…I need you. Promise me.”  
“I can’t, Alexander.”  
He leans in and kisses me forcefully. While he’s doing that, he holds my waist tighter with one of his arms and moves his other hand to just below my belly button before sliding it under the waist band of my sweatpants and panties. I put my hands on his shoulders and push hard on him.  
“Stop. Tig. Stop.”  
He tightens his arm around my waist and moves his other hand over my core, shoving his fingers into me. I start crying and say:  
“Please stop. Alexander…Please stop.”  
Before he can respond, Opie storms into the room and wraps his arm around Tig’s neck, while growling:  
“Get your hands off of her. She has asked you to stop.”  
Tig lets go of me and I step backwards to the couch and curl up in the corner. Tig says:  
“I’m sorry, Veronica…I’m so sorry.”  
I don’t respond, and Opie growls:  
“Get the fuck out of our house.”  
“Veronica, I’m sorry. Please look at me.”

I stand up, and look at him with no emotion on my face, putting ice in my eyes.  
“Veronica…”  
I walk past them and out of the room, making it all the way upstairs into my room before I start crying again. When Opie walks into the room, I’m curled up on the bed. He lays down on the other side of the bed and says:  
“He’s gone, love. Are you okay?”  
I roll over and move towards him, putting my head on his chest and my arm across his waist.  
“I will be. You didn’t hurt him, did you? I honestly don’t think he fully realized what he was doing.”  
“I didn’t hurt him. Just kicked him out. What were you talking about before?”  
“Telling Jax everything that Lilly showed us. He wanted me to promise that I wouldn’t kill myself if you both die. I told him I couldn’t promise that. Lilly showing him that future really fucked with his head, Ope.”  
“It fucked with yours too.”  
“Yeah, but not to the same extent.”  
“So you’re going to tell us everything?”  
“Yeah. After we deal with Gemma this afternoon.”  
“Okay. What do you need right now, baby?”  
“I need you to hold me. Just…hold me.”  
He wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly, and kisses the top of my head.  
“I love you, Veronica.”  
“I know. I love you too.”  
We lie there for a long time before Jax comes in. He climbs onto the bed behind me and wraps his arms around me, kissing the side of my neck before saying:  
“Wayne’s gone. He’s onboard. He’s going to keep the secret from Gemma. Why did we lie to him about who shot Clay though?”  
“Because if Gemma knew a Mayan killed her husband, regardless of the reason, she’d do something stupid and blow up the treaties.”  
“What if she tries to hurt you if she finds out the truth?”  
“Then we cross that bridge when we come to it.”  
“What happened with Tig?”  
“We were talking about telling you everything that Lilly showed us. He tried to get me to promise that I wouldn’t kill myself if we failed to change the future and you both died. I told him I couldn’t promise that…Because I can’t.”  
“What did he do?”  
“Tightened his arm around me so I couldn’t move away from him and he shoved his hand into my pants. I asked him to stop, but he didn’t. He shoved his fingers into me and that’s when Ope came in. Tig apologized right away. I don’t think he realized what he was doing.”  
“Doesn’t change the fact that he did it. In fact, it’s almost worse that he didn’t realize.”  
“I don’t think Tig would ever knowingly hurt me. He fucked up, yeah, but I’m okay.”  
“Are you though?”  
“Yeah. I am.”  
“So we don’t need to go downstairs and watch a ridiculously stupid movie and put up with you doing all the stupid voices?”  
“I’m not going to turn down the Dude, Jax. If watching the Dude is being offered, I want to watch the Dude. While snuggled up with you guys, of course.”  
“Fine…let’s go watch the stupid movie.”  
“Where are the twins?”  
“Napping.”  
“Okay.”

We go downstairs and I sit in the middle of the couch with Opie stretched out on one side of me with his head on one of my legs. When Jax comes over after putting the movie in, he stretches out on the other side of me with his head on my other leg. While we watch the movie, I play with their hair and do all the voices. At one point towards the end of the movie I start braiding Jax’s hair into Opie’s and Jax says:  
“What are you doing, little girl?”  
“Braiding. There’s all this hair in my lap, just begging to be braided.”  
“Stop braiding our hair together.”  
“Fine. Party-pooper.”

I unbraid the strands and Opie grabs my hand and pulls it to his mouth before kissing it.  
“This is nice. Even if the movie is fucking ridiculous.”  
“It is nice. I like spending time with you…Just being us…But if you two keep insulting The Big Lebowski, we may have a problem. I love this movie.”  
“Well, there’s no accounting for taste.”  
“Well, that’s true, I mean, I married the two of you.”  
They both look at me and say:  
“Ouch, babe.”  
I stick my tongue out at them and then squeal when they start tickling me. I laugh, squeal, and squirm while they keep tickling me. It finally gets to the point where I don’t think I can breathe anymore and I pant:  
“Stop. I give up. I give up. No more tickles.”

I hear Leo say from the doorway:  
“That’s a nice sound to hear…I haven’t heard you laugh with glee in months.”  
“Yeah…I haven’t been in a good place. I’m working on it.”

I gently tug on Opie and Jax’s hair and say:  
“Sit up so I can kiss you.”  
They both sit up and I kiss them both before saying:  
“I’m going to go for a run. I’ll stay on property.”  
Jax says:  
“We’ll come with you.”  
I laugh and say:  
“Sure, if you want to humiliate yourselves like that.”  
Opie says:  
“What is that supposed to mean?”  
“Just that neither of you are runners. You both prefer to lift weights and hit things as your exercise regimen…Which is cool, it’s given you beautiful bodies…You’re just not runners. That’s all.”

I go upstairs and change into exercise clothes and my running shoes then head back downstairs. All three guys look at me and Jax says:  
“Go ahead. We’ll catch up.”  
“Okay.”  
I complete three circuits of the trail before the guys come out of the house. I do another six laps once they join me, but only Leo can keep up. Jax and Opie quickly fall behind and I’m pretty sure they only do four laps in the time that they are outside. When I stop running, so do they, and Opie lies on the ground.  
“Jesus Christ woman. Are you trying to kill us?”  
“Babe…That was a short run. I’m trying to get back in shape.”

Jax grabs me and pulls me against himself before saying:  
“You have a fine shape.”  
“Well, that’s sweet dear, but I’m not talking about just looks. I don’t feel like I’m in peak physical condition.”  
“You’re not even sweating right now…How?”  
“Like I said…short run. I’ll go for a road run later once Ryan is working. He’s the only guard that can keep up.” 

I hear baby noises coming from the monitor on Jax’s waistband and I say:  
“I’ll go get the twins. Try not to die on the way back into the house.”  
I head inside and go upstairs. Once I’ve changed the babies I put them in their bouncy chairs in my bathroom so I can quickly shower before going downstairs. 

I’m in the shower, washing my hair, when Felix walks into the bathroom.  
“Sorry, V.”  
“It’s fine, Felix. What’s up?”  
“Laroy is here.”  
“Okay. Can you take the twins downstairs and get one of their fathers to feed them? Keep Laroy downstairs. I’ll be right there.”  
“Yeah. I can do that.”

He doesn’t move, just keeps staring.  
“Felix, I love you, but stop staring.”  
“Sorry, just…are you sure you just had twins? Because when my sister had her baby she was giant for months, and you look practically the same as you did before you got pregnant.”  
“I haven’t been following Tara’s orders when it comes to exercise, and Abuelita would be happy to inform you that I don’t eat enough. Take the twins downstairs please.”

He scoops the twins out of their bouncy chairs and walks out of the room. I quickly finish showering, then get dressed in jeans and a SAMCRO tank top. I carry the bouncy chairs downstairs with me, and find Jax, Opie, Laroy, and the twins in the living room. I put down the chairs and walk over to the couch. I take Dee from Opie and continue feeding her while I sit down on Opie’s lap. I stand up quickly though, and say:  
“Go shower. You stink.”  
“Well, someone tried to kill me.”  
“It was just a run, and I told you guys that you couldn’t keep up. It’s not my fault you tried to. Go shower.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

I sit at the end of the couch near Laroy and say:  
“You’re back.”  
“I heard from Eli that you didn’t go to Ireland, so I thought I’d come over and apologize for the other night again.”  
“Instead of apologizing, how about you just explain to me why you were being a dick? Ope and I were just out on a date night, you know that I’m his old lady, there was no reason to make a snarky quip about me needing a break from my husband.”  
“I think it’s just that I don’t understand the whole thing y’all have going on here, and when I don’t understand something, I become a bit of an asshole.”  
“You don’t need to understand.”  
“You have newborns though…Like, whose are they?”  
“Both.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I mean that Delilah Lynn here is Opie’s biological child, and Thomas Keith over there is Jax’s biological child.”  
“How?”  
“It happens sometimes. A second ovulation in a cycle. It just worked out that I got pregnant with Tommy, then a few days later, got pregnant with Dee.”

Before he can respond, Ellie and Kenny come running into the room, yelling:  
“Mama, Mama! Uncle Lo is here!”  
“Oh, goody. Jax…behave.”  
“Yes, dear.”  
Logan walks into the room carrying Abel, and I say:  
“He can walk, you know.”  
“I know. I just missed him.”  
“Who’s fault is that?”  
“Mine. I suck, Ronnie…I’m so sorry.”  
“Are you going to vanish again?”  
“No.”  
“Even after I tell you that I will never fuck you again?”  
“Even then.”  
“Okay then. You may be here.”  
“What about Dick, Duncan, Meg, and Mac?”  
“Did Duncan and Meg bring my niece with them?”  
“Yes, of course.”  
“Then fine, they may come in.”

I stand up as everyone else walks into the room. I walk over to Meg and say:  
“I’ll temporarily trade you babies.”  
“Yes, please.”  
I hand Dee to her and take Faith. Meg kisses Dee’s forehead and says:  
“Oh, sweet Delilah…How I’ve looked forward to meeting you. I’m Aunty Meg.”

I look at Jax and say:  
“Give Tommy to one of his Uncles, dear.”  
Mac says:  
“Uh…No? Give him to Aunty Mac. Geeez.”  
Jax laughs and lets Mac take Tommy. I look down at Faith and say:  
“Hello Miss Faith. I’m your Aunty Ronnie. Your daddy is my stupid big brother.”  
I go over and sit on Jax’s lap and say:  
“This is your Uncle Jax. Your Uncle Opie is just upstairs right now, and Uncle Leo is somewhere…”  
I look at Jax and say:  
“Where is Leo?”  
“Hiding. He didn’t want to be here when Gemma shows up.”  
“Smart man. Can I hide too?”  
“Hell no. You are not leaving me alone with my mother.”  
“She’s your mother!”  
“She’s terrifying.”  
“Once again…Your mother.”

Laroy looks lost in his chair, so I say:  
“Laroy, meet my ragtag family. Duncan is my brother, Meg is his wife, Faith here is their daughter, Mac is a friend, Logan is my best friend - aside from Lyla, and Dick is…well, Dick.”

I look at everyone else and say:  
“Everyone, this is Laroy. He’s a friend, and also the head of the One-Niners.”  
Mac says:  
“The gang from Oakland?”  
Laroy says:  
“That’s us.”  
“I hear you guys have a great dance club.”  
“We do.”  
Mac looks at Meg and then at me and says:  
“We should go tomorrow night. Bring Lyla and Tara too. Have a girls night.”  
I say:  
“I’d like to point out that we are all minors, only Tara and Lyla could get in.”  
Laroy says:  
“You are the queen of SAMCRO, V. You can get in. So can your girls.”  
“Fine, we’ll go…But we all have to wear jeans, no dresses.”  
Mac says:  
“Why?”  
“So when we all get plastered, Jax and the guys can come pick us up on their bikes.”  
“Smart girl."

Logan looks at me and says:  
“Queen? Not future queen?”  
“Jax is president now.”  
“Why?”  
“Clay was murdered.”  
“How?”  
“Home invasion. They shot him in the head.”  
“When?”  
“Day before yesterday.”  
“You’re very calm about this.”  
“You really want to rehash the conversation about me not having emotions and not being human? I didn’t break down when I found out that Keith was dead, why would things be different for Clay?”  
“Nope. I’m going to shut up.”  
“Smart man.”

I look at them all and say:  
“How long are you staying?”  
Duncan says:  
“A week? It’s spring break.”  
“And where are you staying?”  
“We were hoping we could stay here.”  
“You could, but someone would have to sleep with Leo, that’s the only way there will be enough rooms.”  
“Leo’s staying here?”  
“Yeah, he and Lyla broke up.”  
“Why?”  
“Do you really need to ask that question?”  
“Nope. Nevermind. Dick can sleep with Logan. That solves the bed issue. And it has the added benefit of keeping people out of Logan’s bed.”  
“Sure.”  
“No arguments? Who are you and what have you done with my sister?”  
“What part of that would you like me to argue with?”  
“Well, considering the last time you and Logan slept in the same house you fucked him, I thought you might argue with that.”  
“Yeah, but then I slept in Leo’s arms…So…Besides, I already told him it wasn’t happening again…Plus, it wasn’t my fault, pregnancy makes everyone horny…Right, Meg?”

Meg laughs and says:  
“Yup. How is Juice, by the way?”  
“Still hot. He’ll be thrilled that you’re back in town.”

Duncan looks pissed off and I laugh at him before saying:  
“Sorry, Donut.”  
“Fuck you, Veronica.”

Jax squeezes my side and says:  
“Be nice to your brother…It’s really difficult to be in the same room as someone the love of your life has fucked, and he’s going to have to tonight…Family dinner.”  
“Shit! Family dinner. I forgot. I have to start cooking.”

I kiss him deeply and whisper:  
“I’m sorry that Logan is here. I will never fuck him again. I love you, please don’t kill him.”  
“I promise I won’t kill him.”  
“Good man.”  
“Yeah, yeah. There had better be a reward in it for me.”  
“Oh, there will be.”  
I kiss him again before standing up and handing Faith to him. I look at Laroy and say:  
“You know how to cook?”  
“Of course I do. I grew up in a black woman’s house. You learn to help cook or you don’t eat.”  
“Funny, Eli says something similar about a Latina woman’s house. And Leo says the same about a Greek woman’s house…Come help me.”

On my way out of the room I hug Duncan and whisper:  
“She loves you a crazy amount, Duncan. Juice isn’t a threat to you. I was just teasing.”  
“You’re lucky I love you, little sister.”  
“I love you too.”

I step away from him and say:  
“Jax? Why don’t you show them where the guest rooms are and get one of the playpens from the closet in the nursery for Faith?”  
“Yes, dear.”  
“If you guys all brought swimsuits, you could take the kids swimming while Laroy and I cook.”

Meg says:  
“The guys brought theirs, but Mac and I didn’t.”  
“Top drawer on the left side in the closet in my room…Borrow any swimsuit you want. I have a very large selection.”  
“Thanks, Ronnie.”

I look at Jax and say:  
“You and Ope should swim with the kids too. Take the twins in the water. It’s good for them to get used to it.”

I hear Opie’s voice in my ear whispering:  
“You just want all of them, in particular Logan, to see why you aren’t willing to fuck him again.”  
“Not true. I just think it would be good for the twins to go in the water, and I’d prefer my newborns be held by their fathers, not their idiot uncles.”  
I turn to face him and kiss him before saying:  
“You all figure it out. I need to get dinner started, god only knows when those idiots will all show up. Speaking of which, have you seen my phone?”  
“Kitchen counter with a million messages from Tig.”  
“Shit.”

I walk into the kitchen and pick up my phone. All the messages from Tig are similar…Him apologizing and begging me to talk to him. I dial his number and wait for him to answer.  
“Veronica, baby…I’m so sorry.”  
“Tig…We’re fine. It’s okay.”  
“It’s not okay. I violated you.”  
“Alexander…I am fine.”  
“I held you in place and put my fingers inside you without your consent. You can’t possibly be okay with me right now.”  
“Come over. It’s family dinner tonight anyways. Come over early so you can see that I’m okay.”  
“You want me there?”  
“What’s a little forced finger insertion between friends? I’m fine, Alexander. Really.”  
“Okay. I’ll be over soon.”  
“I’ll be in the kitchen.”  
I hang up and put the phone down. Laroy says:  
“What the hell did Tig do?”  
“It doesn’t matter. I’m fine. Wash your hands.”

As he washes his hands he says:  
“So what are we making?”  
“Cabbage rolls, baked potatoes, corn.”  
“That sounds delicious.”  
“It was supposed to be pirogies, not baked potatoes, but I forgot about family dinner and now don’t have time to make the pirogies.”

As I wash my hands I walk him through preparing the cabbage to parboil. We quickly get the cabbage rolls made and put in the fridge, so I can start making pie. I’m in the middle of making the lemon custard for the filling of the lemon meringue pies when Tig walks in. Laroy says:  
“I think that’s my cue. I’ll leave word with our door guys at the club that you and your girls are coming tomorrow night, V.”  
“Thanks. And thanks for the help with the cabbage rolls.”

He leaves and I say:  
“Alexander, get over here. I can’t stop stirring this.”  
Tig walks over and I grab the collar of his shirt, pulling him close to me before kissing him. I move my hand from his collar to the back of his neck and slightly pull my mouth away from his to say:  
“We’re okay. I’m okay. You didn’t hurt me. You didn’t break me. You didn’t break us.”  
“I love you, Veronica. I’m so sorry sweetheart.”  
“I know. It’s okay. I love you too.”  
I kiss him again before pulling away and putting the custard in the pie shells. I put the pies in the oven and sit at the island.   
“You seem stressed, Veronica.”  
“I’m just worried about family dinner.”  
“You want a glass of wine?”  
“No…I want a joint.”  
“They in your office?”  
“Yeah, top filing cabinet drawer.”  
“I’ll get you one.”  
When he comes back, he grabs an ashtray and sits next to me. I smoke my joint and he smokes a cigarette while we chat.  
“Are you worried about family dinner in general, or Gemma in particular?”  
“Both? Also, Duncan, Logan, Meg, Mac, and Dick are here.”  
“Oh…Fun.”  
“He says completely sarcastically.”  
“Yeah…I’m not really a fan of teenagers.”  
“Oh? Is that so?”  
“Present company excluded, of course.”  
“Yeah? And how would you feel about this particular teenager if you didn’t want to fuck her?”  
“Well, she’s pretty fucking amazing anyways, so I’d like to think I would still be fond of her.”  
“I think tonight is going to be rough, and I don’t really want to subject my brother and friends to it.”  
“Why don’t you send them out with the kids?”  
“Oh? And have a family dinner without Gemma’s grandkids here? Have you lost your damn mind?”  
“Valid point.”

I get up to take the pies out of the oven, letting them cool before I top them with meringue.  
“Let’s go out to the courtyard. I think everyone’s out there swimming.”  
“Sure.”

When we get outside we find Meg and Mac sitting on chairs next to the pool, trying to absorb a little sun. I shove Mac over and sit next to her.  
“Aren’t you cold babe?”  
“Nope. Better to be out here than in there with those idiots.”

I look at the pool and I see Opie, Jax, Logan, and Dick tossing the three older kids between them, the kids laughing hysterically the whole time. I loudly say:  
“You all better be careful. If one of my babies gets hurt I will hurt you.”  
Opie says:  
“They’re fine, babe.”  
I look around the rest of the courtyard and say:  
“Where are Duncan and the actual babies?”  
Meg laughs and says:  
“Napping. We decided the babies needed a nap and Duncan decided he needed one too.”  
“Fair enough.”  
As I’m getting up to go back inside there’s the sound of something hard hitting something less hard and Ellie starts crying as Opie says:  
“Jesus fuck that hurt.”  
Jax grabs Ellie and puts her on the side of the pool and I hug her and check her for injuries, when I don’t find any I say:  
“What happened?”  
Jax says:  
“Her foot connected with Daddy’s face.”  
I look at Ellie and I say:  
“Ellie-girl, are you okay?”  
“Yes Mama.”  
“Okay sweetheart. Go get changed for dinner, okay?”  
“Yes Mama.”

As she walks away I look at Opie, his mouth is bleeding, so I say:  
“Come here.”  
He gets out of the pool and walks over to me, bending down so I can see his mouth.  
“You’re fine. Just a small cut from a tooth. Go get cleaned up and dressed for dinner. Gemma will be here soon. That goes for the rest of you too.”  
“I don’t even get a kiss better?”  
“I refuse to reward you for your own stupidity.”  
“Ouch, babe. Feel the love.”

As he’s walking back into the house, Opie says:  
“Hey Tig.”  
When Tig looks at him, Opie punches him in the face. I exclaim:  
“Hey! That was not fucking necessary!”  
Opie and Tig both say:  
“Yes it was.”  
“You’re both idiots.”

I walk into the house and start making meringue for the pies. Once that’s done and on the pies, I quickly bake it off before putting the pies on the kitchen island to cool. I put the potatoes and cabbage rolls in the oven and go to set the table. Family dinners are the reason we have a very large custom table, but even accounting for that, the kids are going to have to eat somewhere else.

I decide that the kids can eat in the living room while they watch a movie, so I set up A Goofy Movie and pause it for them. None of the guys are bringing their old ladies tonight, so it’ll be sixteen people if Leo isn’t coming, and seventeen if he is. I pick up my phone and send him a quick text saying:  
'Are you eating dinner with us?’  
‘Gemma is scary.’  
‘Do you want to sit in the living room with the kids?’  
‘Yes. Can I?’  
‘If you reappear right now and help me set the table.’  
He does reappear fairly quickly, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist, kissing the back of my neck.  
“Where the hell were you hiding?”  
“My room.”  
“Chicken. Help me set the table. There will be sixteen of us in the dining room.”

We quickly set the table and he says:  
“Come with me.”  
He pulls me into my office and closes the door before pushing me up against it and kissing me.  
“Leo…We talked about the rules, remember? No kissing.”  
“Veronica…I understand you made rules, but I can’t be around you all the time and not kiss you. I need to kiss you. I need to hold you. I need to be allowed to cuddle with you on the couch.”  
“Leo…The problem is that we changed our relationship last night, multiple times. The oral sex, you watching my husbands and I fucking, and the incident in your room…they took us away from being friends who cuddle to something else. You can’t kiss me.”  
“Why can’t I kiss you though?”  
“Because when you kiss me I start to think about your mouth on other parts of my body and it gets me hot and bothered. I don’t want to be turned on around you all the damn time.”  
“So the problem is that you want me.”  
“Yes.”  
“We can solve that, just let me fuck you.”  
“Yeah, that would solve it, because my husbands would kill you. Leo, I am not fucking you. I promised Lyla.”  
“It was fucking vindictive of her to make you promise that. Unfair to both of us. I can’t believe you actually agreed to that.”  
“She is my best friend. Promising not to fuck her ex seemed like a small thing, especially since I’m married!”  
“Oh yeah, because being married has stopped you before.”  
“I will not fuck you Leo. If you can’t let this go, you’ll have to stay somewhere else.”  
“You’ll kick me out?”  
“If you can’t control yourself, yes.”  
He puts his hand on my neck and rubs his thumb over my cheekbone, before he says:  
“You love me.”  
“Yes, but that doesn’t change the fact that I will kick you out if you can’t control yourself. Also, implying that I’m a whore is not the way to convince me to cheat on my husbands. Just for the record.”  
“I didn’t mean to imply that.”  
“Yes you did. Don’t treat me like I’m stupid.”  
“Veronica, I would never call you a whore.”  
“No, you wouldn’t actually say the word, but you would, and did, imply it. I love you, but I will punch you again. Now, let me out of this room.”  
“Veronica…”  
“Get away from me and let me leave.”  
“Veronica, we can make this work.”  
“Leo, I strongly recommend you let me leave. You will regret it if you don’t.”  
“You won’t hurt me.”  
“No…But he will.”

Jax walks in the door leading from the courtyard and grabs Leo’s shoulder and turns him around before punching him in the face.  
“My wife gave you simple rules Leo. Why couldn’t you follow them? I am fond of you. I don’t like punching you in the face. We have the ability to all live together peacefully, but that isn’t going to work if you don’t respect Veronica’s wishes. So you have another chance. Respect my wife’s wishes. Respect her enough to not imply or say that she’s a whore. She will end up changing the rules or ignoring them outright if you play along, but pushing her will just end with you bleeding and her upset.”  
“Okay. I’m sorry, Jax.”  
“It is not me you need to apologize to. Are you okay, Ronnie?”  
I nod.  
“Then I’m going to go get ready for dinner.”  
He leaves the room and I kneel next to Leo.  
“Let me look at your face.”  
He looks at me and I look at the bruise forming next to his eye.  
“It’s not so bad. At least he wasn’t wearing his rings.”  
“I’m sorry, Veronica.”  
“I know. We’re okay.”  
“You’re going to let me stay?”  
“Yeah. I kind of love you.”  
“The feeling is mutual.”

I gently grab his chin and kiss him, allowing him to deepen the kiss before I move away.  
“Any kissing needs to be on my terms, not yours…Got it?”  
“Yes my queen.”  
“Go get cleaned up, then come back down for dinner.”  
“Okay.”

I leave the office and find Tig in the kitchen with ice on his face. I put my hand on the ice pack to pull it away, and he grabs my wrist.  
“Let me look Tig.”  
“It’s fine.”  
“Alexander. Let me look. Let me take care of you.”  
He moves the ice pack and I see the bruise that’s forming around a cut next to his eye. I lean in and gently kiss it before saying:  
“I’m sorry he hurt you.”  
“I deserved it. I know you said that you’re okay, but…baby, I hurt you.”  
“No, you didn’t. And I don’t think you even knew what you were doing.”  
“I didn’t. That doesn’t make it better though.”  
I put my hand on his neck and pull him towards me before kissing him. We both try to deepen the kiss at the same time, and he pushed me backwards into the counter, running his hands along my sides before wrapping his arms around my hips, resting his hands on my ass. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist and he carries me into the office, pushing the door closed behind us. He sits down on the couch with me in his lap, and we keep kissing until the door opens and I hear Gemma clear her throat. I pull slightly back from Tig’s mouth and whisper:  
“Shit.”  
Before either of us can do anything, I hear Jax say:  
“Mom, come visit with us in the living room.”  
“You realize your wife is on Tig’s lap, right?”  
“Yup. I’m not worried about it.”  
“Why?”  
“Because kissing is all that happens. And she sleeps in my bed every night. If Ope and I don’t have a problem with it, you shouldn’t either.”

Gemma leaves the room and Jax says:  
“How’s Tig’s face?”  
“Bruised.”  
“He’s lucky it was Ope and not me. That shit was fucking unacceptable.”  
“We’ll be right out, Jax.”

I quickly kiss Tig again and then get off of his lap. I hold out my hand to him and say:  
“Lets go. Family dinner time.”  
“I just need a minute. I’ll be right out.”

I check on dinner and grab a glass of wine as I walk through the kitchen before walking into the living room. Jax is holding Faith when I walk in, so I sit on Opie’s lap and drink my wine before kissing him.  
“Thank you.”  
“For what?”  
“Drinking the wine. It masks the way Tig changes your flavour. How he does that with just kissing, I don’t understand.”  
I shrug and say:  
“You did a number on his face, babe.”  
“He deserved it.”  
“Yeah, that’s what he said too.”  
“You disagree?”  
He lowers his voice to a whisper and says:  
“He held you in place and shoved his fingers into you while you cried and begged him to stop. Babe, he deserved a hell of a lot more than I gave him.”  
“Yeah, I know.”

I curl into him and press my face into his neck, breathing deeply as he runs his hands over my back and legs. I whisper:  
“I love you…So much. I’m sorry.”  
“For what?”  
“For being defective…For having so many damn people in my life who want to fuck me. For not cutting them out. For putting you through this.”  
“No spiralling at family dinner, love. And for the record, everyone wants to fuck you because you are spectacular and crazy sexy. I don’t expect you to cut anyone out, and you aren’t putting me through anything. As long as I get to hold you all night every night, I’m a happy man.”

I kiss him until a child climbs on us, judging by the size and weight, I assume it’s Abel, so I’m not surprised when I open my eyes and am inches away from those amazing blue eyes of his.  
“Hi baby.”  
“Hi Mommy.”  
He curls up into me and Opie, leaning his back against Opie’s chest and resting his head on my chest. I run my hand over his hair and rest my head against Opie’s shoulder. We sit like that as all the guys wander in. As Piney walks in, Ellie comes running in the room. She jumps on him and says:  
“Hi Pop!”  
Then she comes running over to me, holding out my necklace from Lilly.  
“Mama. Uncle Leo found your necklace!”  
“He did? Where was it?”  
“In his room.”  
“Ah. Well, thank you Ellie.”  
Jax gets up and hands Faith to Duncan before walking over to me and putting the necklace on for me.  
“It must have fallen off when you were in talking to him last night.”  
“Probably. The clasp is pretty wonky. I need to get it fixed.”  
He puts his hand on my cheek and looks at me in that way he has when he’s trying to decide whether I’m telling the truth or not. I whisper:  
“Nothing more than what was allowed happened. And then I punched him, remember?”  
He grins and says:  
“Right.”  
He kisses me and then sits down on the floor next to me, pulling Ellie into his lap and kissing her head.  
“Where’s your brother, Ellie-girl?”  
“Upstairs with Uncle Leo. They’re getting the twins.”  
I say:  
“I need to go finish dinner.”

Meg says:  
“Mac and I can do that. You’re comfortable.”  
“Thanks guys. The frozen corn needs to be cooked.”  
“I think even we can handle that.”

Dinner was actually quite pleasant, the kids ate in the living room with Leo and watched a movie, and the rest of us ate in the dining room, chatting and exchanging memories of Clay. While we’re eating pie, Gemma says:  
“His funeral will be next Saturday. Can we have the wake here?”  
“Of course.”  
“All SoA charters will be invited, that means the guys from Tacoma will definitely be here. Is that going to be a problem?”

Kozik reaches over from his seat next to me and squeezes my hand. I smile at him and say:  
“Why would it be a problem?”  
Opie grumbles:  
“Because they all knew what Lee was doing to you and didn’t fucking stop it?”  
Jax says:  
“Because you’ve slept with two of them and won’t tell us who?”  
Kozik says:  
“Because you weren’t fucking sober when those two had sex with you and there’s no fucking way you consented?”  
“Dad!”

Opie and Jax both say:  
“What?!”  
I roll my eyes and say:  
“Drunk people have sex all the time guys. They didn’t rape me, I just was less sober than I should have been. Everything’s fine.”

I look at Gemma and say:  
“There will be no issues with the guys from Tacoma coming to the funeral.”  
“Good girl.”  
“Are we inviting treaty partners or just charters?”  
“Treaty partners and friends as well, so the Mayans, One-Niners, and people like Elliott, Wayne, and Leo.”  
“Alright. What can I do?”  
“Handle issuing the invitations to the treaty partners, both heads are fond of you.”  
“Sure. I can do that.”  
“Can you also get your staff to handle the food?”  
“Of course.”  
“Thank you. We’ll talk this week. Thank you for getting people to come in and clean the house, by the way. I appreciate not coming home to a crime scene.”  
“That’s what family is for.”  
“I love you, sweet girl. I’m going to head home now, it’s been a long day.”

Gemma gets up and kisses everyone at the table before heading into the living room and kissing the kids. Once I hear the front door open and close, I start crying. I get up from the table and leave the room, walking into my office before sinking down on the floor next to the door and sobbing. I hear Logan say:  
“I feel like there’s something we haven’t been told about Clay’s death.”  
Kozik says:  
“Yeah. Hang on a second.”

There’s the sound of someone getting up from the table and leaving the room before coming back and sitting back down. I hear Kozik say:  
“This recording was made the day Clay died.”

The next thing I hear is Clay’s voice saying:  
“Take off your clothes.”

When the recording is done, I stand up and walk into the room. Everyone looks at me, and I say:  
“Tig wanted to kill Clay immediately. I wouldn’t let him. I made him bring me home. I locked myself in the guest room so everyone would leave me alone, but when Eli came over for dinner, he came up to check on me. I played the recording for him when he wouldn’t believe me that nothing was wrong. He took my gun, came downstairs, and shot Clay in the head in the courtyard in front of Jax, Opie, and Tig. With the cleaner and Leo, we staged it to look like a home invasion. As far as Wayne knows, I shot Clay.”

Meg says:  
“Why lie to Wayne?”  
“Because he can’t lie to Gemma, and if Gemma finds out that a Mayan killed Clay, regardless of reason, she will blow up our treaties.”  
“Why not just tell Gemma the truth? Play the recording. Why have a funeral for him? Why not just put him in a shallow grave?”  
“Gemma deserves to mourn her husband. She deserves to be the queen mother and not the old lady of an excommunicated member. She deserves to not have the memory of her husband raping her daughter-in-law.”

No-one says anything, so I say:  
“I know it’s a lot to process, guys. But I’m okay…Mostly. I’m going to go exercise Raven. I’ll clean up when I come in.”

Raven and I do four passes on the jump course before I call it quits. I’m in the barn brushing him down when Dick walks in. He leans on the top of Raven’s stall door and says:  
“Are you really okay, Ronnie?”  
“Mostly. I’m just having issues getting my brain to process the fact that this person who always protected me secretly wanted to hurt me the whole time I knew him.”  
“What?”  
“Gemma says that Clay has talked in his sleep about fucking me since I was fifteen. Apparently he described a few of his fantasies to her…They involved hurting me. She didn’t think she needed to tell us because he would never do it, he loved me.”  
“But he did.”  
“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that.”  
“Ronnie…Come home.”  
“Oh, because Neptune holds no trauma for me? No thanks.”  
“We were happy for those four months when Ope was in prison and Jax was here.”  
“No, Dick. You were happy. I cried myself to sleep every night and put a smile on my face as much as I could during the day to protect you and Logan. I was happy that girls’ weekend I had, then I wasn’t truly happy again until I saw Opie standing in the parking lot.”

I finish brushing Raven, then give all the horses a treat and a pat before leaving the barn. Dick shakes his head and says:  
“When did you become a horse person?”  
“The plan was to have horses for the kids, but before I got home from having the twins, Elliott - a friend, came over and brought the horses as a gift. When I met Raven for the first time, it’s like we had an instant connection. It’s like he knows what I’m thinking before I do. Elliott and his daughter Tristen taught me how to ride, and Tristen has been teaching me jumping. I’ve never felt as at peace as I do when I’m riding Raven.”

I walk into the house, and the dining room is clean and so is the kitchen. I find everyone sitting in the living room and say:  
“I said I’d clean up.”  
Jax says:  
“Don’t look at us, that was all Abuelita.”  
“Are the kids in bed?”  
“Yup, and all the babies are sleeping too.”  
“Cool. I’m going to go shower and go to bed. It’s been a long day.”  
I give everyone kisses and then head upstairs. I shower and go to bed. I’m asleep minutes after my head hits the pillow.


	22. The Next Day

I wake up to the feeling of hands on my body. I can tell by the coolness of the sheets next to me and the light in the room that it’s late and the guys have been up for a while.  
“You let me sleep in.”  
“Not intentionally. You wouldn’t wake up. Clearly you were tired. Jax made me feed your stupid horses.”

I grin and roll to face him.  
“Poor baby. What time is it?”  
“Noon.”  
“Where is everyone?”  
“In the living room, mostly. Leo is in his room, and the kids are at Pop’s with Abuelita.”  
“The twins too?”  
“Yup.”  
I reach out for him and pull his face to mine and kiss him.  
“Love me, Ope.”  
“That’s definitely the plan.”  
I kiss him again, then get up to take off my pyjamas. He stands up and I reach out to pull his shirt off before running my hands down his chest and abdomen to his belt buckle. I kiss him as I undo his belt and pants, pushing them and his boxers down his legs. He steps out of them as I drop to my knees in front of him. 

————————  
Jax’s Perspective  
————————

We’re all sitting in the living room talking when we hear Veronica scream Opie’s name. Logan visibly tenses and says:  
“That really doesn’t bother you?”  
“Nope. Not at all. Why? Does it bother you?”  
“Yeah…It does.”  
“It shouldn’t. He’s the love of her life. You should just be happy that she found him and they’re together.”

Meg says:  
“Jax, you’re the love of her life.”  
“No, I’m not. He is. It’s okay, I’m good. I know how much she loves me.”

As the conversation shifts back to babies and their university plans, Marcus walks in.   
“If you’re looking for my wife, she’s currently occupied with Ope.”  
“Actually, I was looking for you for once. Can we talk privately?”  
“Yeah, we’ll go in the office.”

Once we’re in the office with the door closed, Marcus says:  
“Your mother doesn’t buy the home invasion story.”  
“How do you know that?”  
“I overheard her talking to Unser when I was at the station this morning. He left a door open so I could listen.”  
“Shit. We have to tell her the truth.”  
“Or the version of the truth that Unser knows? You’re going to leave Eli out of it, right?”  
“Of course. Even if I wanted to throw Eli under the bus, Veronica would never let me hurt him.”  
“She loves him.”  
“Yes. My wife legitimately loves four men in her life. Two she tries her best to keep at arm’s length…it doesn’t always work.”  
“You, Opie, Eli, and Leo?”  
“Yup.”

As we leave the room, I say:  
“Veronica and her girlfriends are going to the One-Niner’s club tonight. Why don’t you, Eli, Opie, Bobby, and I drive them out and we can talk business with Laroy while the girls have fun? They’re planning on getting plastered, so they need rides home anyways.”  
“Who the hell is going to fit on a bike with Bobby?”  
“One of the tiny girls that Veronica hangs out with?”

When we get back to the living room, Veronica and Opie have joined the group. Marcus says:  
“You ready to go, little girl?”  
“Yup.”  
Veronica gets up and kisses Opie before walking over and kissing me. I grab her wrist and say:  
“Where are you going?”  
“I have an appointment. Marcus will bring me home after.”  
“Yeah, that wasn’t vague at all.”  
She grins and walks away.

———————————  
Veronica’s Perspective  
———————————

When I get home from my appointment, I have four new tattoos. A star under my right breast, eight crows in flight on my right shoulder blade, Opie’s name on my left wrist, and Jax’s name on my right wrist.

Jax and Opie are sitting on the couch watching some tv show about customizing motorcycles when I walk into the living room. They both look at me and Jax says:  
“So?”  
“So, what, dear?”  
“What was this appointment?”  
“Oh. Tattoos.”  
“You got new tattoos? Plural?”  
“Yeah. Four of them.”  
“You went and got four tattoos and didn’t take us with you?”  
“Yup.”  
“What did you get?”  
“Maybe you should come look and see.”  
“Get over here.”

I go and sit down between them, and they quickly glance at me. Opie gasps when he sees his name on my wrist, so I show him my other wrist as well.   
“You got our names.”  
“They’re small enough that I can cover them with bracelets if I want to, but yeah.”  
“What else did you get?”  
“A small star under my right breast.”  
“For Keith?”  
“Yeah.”  
“What’s the last one?”  
Before I can answer, I feel Jax’s fingers lightly brush over my shoulder. He says:  
“It’s this one.”  
Opie looks at it and says:  
“Eight crows in flight…It’s us.”  
“Our family, yeah.”

They both grin and press their foreheads into the sides of my head. I say:  
“Marcus says that he and Eli are fine to come to Oakland tonight.”  
“Good. I think I’m going to bring Chibs too, that way someone can ride with him and no-one has to try to squeeze behind Bobby.”  
“Have you talked to Laroy?”  
“No. I’ll call him now. When will Lyla and Tara be here?”  
“Soon. We’re going to have dinner and then all get ready together.”  
“Well, I talked to Logan, Dick, and Duncan and they said they would watch the kids.”  
“Abuelita will be here too…you know, in case the idiot uncles fail in their responsibilities.”  
“Who are you going to ride with, babe?”  
“Ope on the way there, you on the way back?”  
“Do you have a preference about which girl rides with who?”  
“Tara isn’t allowed to ride with you. Other than that, I don’t care.”  
“But you’re fine with her riding with Ope?”  
“She’s not in love with Ope.”  
“Fair enough. We’ll put her with Chibs.”  
“Should put Meg with Marcus, and Mac with Eli. Lyla and I can switch off between the two of you.”

Opie says:  
“I’d rather if you and Meg switch off. Put Lyla with Marcus.”  
“Why? She’s ridden with you before.”  
“Yeah…She’s just handsy when she drinks. Can she just ride with Marcus please?”  
“She’s only handsy with you, babe.”  
“And you.”  
“Yeah, but you enjoy that. Put her with Marcus.”

I kiss them both and say:  
“I’m going to go shower. Ope, order pizza for dinner.”  
“So, like…four of them?”  
“Probably, there’s a lot of us.”  
Jax says:  
“Can I come shower with you?”  
“You need to call Laroy.”  
“I can do that while you shave your legs since I’m not allowed to touch you then.”  
“Fine.”

————————  
Jax’s Perspective  
————————

We go upstairs and I watch as Veronica strips and steps into the shower. I sit on the bathroom counter and call Laroy while I watch her shave her legs.  
“Hey Jax.”  
“Hey Laroy, the girls need rides to and from the club tonight, so Marcus and I thought we’d come with them…Talk a little business, keep an eye on my troublemaker wife.”  
“Sounds good to me. How many Mayans are coming?”  
“Just Marcus and Eli.”  
“Okay. We are going to let the girls have fun though, right? I get the feeling that those girls are handsy when they’re drunk, and that’s something I’d like to see.”  
“Yeah, we’re going to let them have fun.”  
“Alright, see you all in a while. Oh…one thing, can you guys not wear your cuts? We try to keep the club free of gang markings.”  
“Yeah. We can do that.”

I hang up and send a text to Marcus, Eli, Chibs, and Bobby saying:  
‘No cuts tonight. Civilian clothes only.’  
I put my phone down and take off my clothes before getting in the shower with Veronica. I wash her hair and gently wash her back before she turns around and does the same for me. As we each wash the rest of our bodies, she says:  
“You’re going to let me have fun tonight, right?”  
“Of course, babe.”  
“You’re not going to attack anyone that tries to dance with me?”  
“I will behave myself.”  
“Good boy.”  
“Can I fuck you now?”  
“Yes.”  
I kiss her and pick her up, sliding into her as I press her into the wall. I slowly thrust into her, relishing the feeling of her pussy clenching around me and the sound of her little gasps and moans. I pull off her mouth and kiss along her jaw and down her neck. She whispers against my ear:  
“I love you…So much more than I ever thought was possible.”  
I’m close to orgasming, so I start rubbing her clit and I growl in her ear:  
“Come for me baby.”  
She whimpers and her pussy clenches around me as she comes, and I follow her over the edge. I kiss her and say:  
“I love you, Veronica.”  
I put her down and she wraps her arms around my waist, pressing her face into my chest. I stroke her hair and say:  
“What’s wrong, my love?”  
“Nothing. I just wanted to be near you.”  
“We have to get out now, don’t we?”  
“Yeah.”

——————————  
Veronica’s Perspective  
——————————

We get out of the shower and I dry off before pulling on the clothes I had previously been wearing. I dry and brush my hair and then head downstairs. When I get to the living room, I see that Lyla and Tara have gotten here and are sitting together in one of the chairs. I curl up on the couch next to Mac, and say:  
“So some of the guys are going to the club to talk to Laroy, so they are going to drive us there and back. So Meg? You and I are going to switch off between Ope and Jax. You ride with Jax on the way there and Ope on the way back. Mac, you’ll ride with Eli. Lyla, you’ll ride with Marcus. And Tara, Chibs will take you.”

All the girls nod except for Lyla, who says:  
“We normally switch off…Why am I being sent with Marcus?”  
“Because Meg and Duncan would be more comfortable with her riding with her brothers-in-law.”  
“Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”

Opie says:  
“Pizza’s in the kitchen. I’m going to go shower before my bedroom and bathroom are invaded by women.”  
Meg laughs and says:  
“Why? You can shower in front of us Ope. We promise to only ogle you a little.”  
I roll my eyes and say:  
“Ignore my sister, she’s insane. We’d ogle you a lot.”  
“Not the direction I’d thought you’d go with that, my dear old lady.”  
“Go shower, love. Oh…when you get dressed…Wear those dark blue jeans that hug your ass nicely and your black t-shirt.”  
“Bossy.”  
“I promise to wear something you’ll like in return. I bought a new outfit when I was out with Marcus earlier.”  
“Fine.”

He leaves the room and we all wander into the kitchen to grab pizza. After we eat and Opie is downstairs, we head upstairs to get ready. Meg and Mac didn’t bring club clothes, so they raid my closet for something to wear.

—————————  
Opie’s Perspective  
—————————

Once the girls are all upstairs, Jax says:  
“Laroy requests no cuts tonight.”  
“Fine, I’ll just wear my leather jacket.”  
“Did Ronnie tell you what to wear?”  
“Of course she did. I didn’t listen though.”  
“Really? Brave man.”  
“Who am I kidding? I totally listened.”  
“Yup. You’re whipped.”  
“Pot, meet kettle.”  
“She didn’t tell me what to wear.”  
“She always tries to amp up my sexy, and allows you to downplay yours as much as you want.”  
“Why is that, do you think?”  
“She’s not worried about me straying.”  
“She shouldn’t be worried about me either.”  
“Babe, our girl has some deep-seated fears about you cheating. You can’t really blame her.”  
“I don’t. But I’m never going to cheat on her. She is all the woman I want or could handle. I swear, one of these days she’s going to be the death of me.”  
“I’m in agreement with you there. She’s definitely going to be the death of us…But what a way to go.”  
Jax doesn’t respond or even acknowledge me, he’s staring at the stairs, mouth hanging open. I turn around and see five exceptionally hot women. I lock my eyes on Veronica and say:  
“Jesus Christ. It’s going to be a long damn night.”  
Jax gives me a fist bump and says:  
“We are two very lucky sons of bitches.”

The girls come the rest of the way down the stairs and I take in their whole outfits. 

Veronica is wearing black skinny jeans with a red glittery top that moves when she moves. She’s got her leather jacket and black ankle boots on. She has her hair down, and she’s wearing red lipstick and silver eyeshadow. 

Mac and Meg are both wearing dark blue jeans and halter tops (Mac in dark blue, Meg in white) I recognize from Veronica’s closet, along with jean jackets. Both have their hair down and curled, and their make-up is similar to Veronica’s.

Lyla is wearing a silver tunic-type shirt over a pair of skinny jeans with ankle boots. Her hair is braided back from her face in Veronica’s favourite style, and her make-up matches Veronica’s exactly.

Ever the responsible one…Tara is wearing a dark green tank top, jeans, and her usual leather jacket. Her hair is down and her make-up is more natural looking. 

As we’re staring, Marcus, Eli, Chibs, and Bobby all walk in. Eli walks over to us and joins us in our staring before he says:  
“Goddamn. It’s going to be a long fucking night.”  
“Yes…It is.”

As Veronica is directing the girls to the guy they are riding with, Kozik walks in.

———————————  
Veronica’s Perspective  
———————————

“Dad. What are you doing here?”  
“Came to help the idiot uncles with the kids. Thought I’d give Lettie a break.”

I lean forward and kiss him on the cheek before saying:  
“Thanks, Dad.”  
He looks at me, and then at Opie and Jax and says:  
“You’re not letting her go out dressed like this are you?”  
Opie and Jax both say:  
“Like we could stop her?”  
I roll my eyes and say:  
“They’re my husbands, not my keepers. Just be happy I’m wearing this outfit and not the other one I bought today…That one barely covers my ass.”

Opie says:  
“I am both happy and disappointed that you aren’t wearing that outfit.”  
Jax and Eli both say:  
“Agreed.”

Kozik looks at them like he’s disappointed in all of them and says:  
“You’re not helping. I’m trying to convince my daughter to wear more clothes in public.”  
I laugh and say:  
“You haven’t even seen the whole outfit.”  
Meg says:  
“Yeah…It’s even better with the jacket off. Hell, I’d fuck her.”  
“Not helping, Meg. And don’t let Duncan hear you say that, he’ll have a mental breakdown.”  
“He is a bit of a prude.”  
“Yes…And also my brother.”  
“Oh…So maybe it would be the idea of me fucking his sister he couldn’t deal with. I wonder how he’d feel about me fucking Lyla.”  
“Well, since that’s happened, I think we should already know the answer to that…shouldn’t we?”  
“He’s a prude. I didn’t tell him.”

Kozik looks at us and says:  
“I don’t think Duncan is the problem here…I mean, I’m sure your husbands would have a problem with you fucking some chick.”

Lyla and I look at each other and both laugh before I say:  
“No…They wouldn’t.”  
“I give up. Go to the club.”  
“You tried, Dad. It was a noble effort.”

I grab extra helmets from the closet next to the front door and give them to the girls, then we all head outside. The guys all get on their bikes, and we get on behind them, wrapping our arms around their waists. 

As we drive to Oakland I shift closer to Opie, resting my face on his back and running my hands over his chest and abdomen. When we get to the club and get off the bike, we take off our helmets and put them down. Before I can walk over to the girls, Opie grabs me and kisses me passionately before quietly growling:  
“Getting me worked up while we’re on the road is a dangerous game, little girl.”  
“I have no idea what you’re talking about…I was just holding on.”  
I smirk at him and walk away. 

————————  
Jax’s Perspective  
————————

I stand next to Opie as Veronica walks away.  
“What did she do?”  
“Just got me worked up in such a way that she could deny doing it.”  
“She’s a troublemaker.”  
“But she’s our troublemaker…And damn those jeans.”  
“Did she make you promise to let her have fun tonight?”  
“Yeah. She also made me promise to not kill people who tried to dance with her.”  
“It’s gonna be a long damn night.”

The girls walk into the club and we all follow them in. I hear Laroy say:  
“Veronica.”  
I watch as she grins and walks towards the table in the corner where he is sitting. We follow them over and get to the table in time to watch Veronica take her jacket off and drape it over a chair with the other girls’. I mutter under my breath:  
“Holy shit.”  
Chibs says:  
“Little one, did you realize your shirt has no back?”  
“I did notice that, Chibs. But thank you for checking.”  
Eli says:  
“V has a new tattoo.”  
I say:  
“She has four new tattoos.”  
“When did she get them?”  
“Today. Marcus took her. She left saying she had an appointment and came back with tattoos.”

We all sit down as the girls go over to the bar. I see Veronica hand over her credit card and order drinks for her, the girls and us. The girls all drink their drinks at the bar as they receive them, never letting them out of their sight.

Marcus says:  
“Smart girls.”  
“You caught that, huh?”  
“Yeah, they all watched their own drinks as well as the other girls’. Guess we don’t have to worry so much.”

——————————  
Veronica’s Perspective  
——————————

As we’re drinking our drinks, Mac says:  
“They are all staring at us. Literally every guy at that table is staring.”  
“I know. I can feel it. Ignore them. They said they’d let us have fun.”  
Tara takes the last swallow of her drink and says:  
“Well then, let’s go have fun.”  
She grabs my waist and pulls me onto the dance floor, the other girls following behind. Tara and I wrap our arms around each other and dance together until I glance over at the table where the guys are sitting. Jax looks pissed, his nostrils are flaring and he’s biting his bottom lip as he glares at us. So when Mac grabs my hand to pull me away, I let her. As I’m dancing with Meg and Mac, sandwiched between them, I watch Tara and Lyla get pulled away by different guys to dance not far from us. Meg then goes to dance with a guy that pulls her away, and I’m left with Mac. We’re grinding against each other as she whispers in my ear:  
“Look at those idiots over there.”

I look over at the table, and Opie, Jax, Eli, and Laroy are all watching us with lecherous grins on their faces. Chibs, Bobby, and Marcus are looking everywhere but at us. I shake my head at them and whisper to Mac:  
“Shall we invite one of them to dance with us?”  
“Just one? How are you going to choose between your husbands?”  
“I was actually thinking Eli.”  
“Jax and Ope are going to be pissed.”  
“Yes, but they promised that they’d let us have fun.”  
“Hey, I’m down for dancing with Eli. But this is on you, V.”  
“I can handle that.”  
I make eye contact with Eli and crook my finger. His grin gets larger and he gets up from the table. I watch as he pats Jax and Opie on the shoulders on his way past them. When he gets to us, he wraps an arm around each of us and pulls us apart. He pulls us tight against his body, one on each side of him. We dance together for a song, then Mac walks over to the table and grabs Laroy’s hand, pulling him onto the dance floor. A couple of songs later, Eli is facing the table and says:  
“Your husbands have officially lost their patience. I’ll go get you another drink since I’m not going to be allowed to dance with you anymore.”  
“Well, before they drag you away…”  
I pull his face towards mine and kiss him as Jax and Opie get over to us. Opie wraps himself around me from behind and Jax says:  
“Eli…Disappear.”  
“Yeah…Okay.”

When Eli walks away, Jax takes his place in front of me.  
“What happened to letting me have fun?”  
“We just wanted to dance with you, babe.”  
“No. You wanted Eli to stop dancing with me. It’s not the same thing.”  
Opie says:  
“You’re right. We wanted him to stop touching you.”  
“I know I’m right. Now let go of me. I need another drink.”  
“Ronnie…”  
“No. You promised that you wouldn’t interfere with girls’ night, and yet…here you are. Interfering.”

I step away from them and go to the bar. I order myself a drink and stand at the bar to drink it. As I do, I feel a hand on my back. I know immediately that it isn’t Jax or Opie, so I turn around to see who it is. I end up face-to-face with Chibs.  
“They love you something fierce, little one. Give them a break, okay?”  
“Can you take me home, Chibs? I’m done. I don’t want to be here anymore.”  
“Yeah, okay Veronica.”

I turn back around to the bartender and say:  
“Can you put another $100 on my tab and run the card? They’ll end up drinking it.”  
“Nope. Laroy said you all drink for free, so I haven’t run your card at all.”  
He hands it back to me and I walk over to Laroy and kiss his cheek.  
“What was that for?”  
“Free drinks. Thanks.”  
“Least I could do.”  
“Hmmm.”

As I grab my jacket and bag, Jax says:  
“What are you doing?”  
“Chibs is going to take me home. I’m tired. You guys stay with the girls and bring them home when they’re done, okay?”  
“Yeah…Okay.”

I put on my jacket and walk towards the exit of the club. I hear Chibs saying:  
“I’ll take care of her, brother. Don’t worry.”  
Jax responds:  
“Yeah, I know. Thanks, Chibs.”

When we get on the bike, I loosely wrap my arms around Chibs’ waist.  
“You need to hold on tighter than that, little one. It’s a long ride and you’ve been drinking.”  
“I just don’t want…”  
“Me to start thinking about you like Tig does? Not going to happen, Veronica.”

I don’t answer him, so he sighs and says:  
“Off the bike darlin’.”  
I get off and look at him as he moves to stand in front of me.  
“I want you to listen to me very carefully, Veronica…I love you like a niece. You are Kozik’s daughter, Piney’s daughter-in-law…You are only a couple of years older than my Kerryanne. I will never think of you the way Tig does, the way Clay did. I will never hurt you.”  
“I’m younger than Tig’s daughters…”  
“Tig is a damaged individual, my sweet girl. You showing him affection is a double-edged sword…It makes him a better man while at the same time feeding this unhealthy obsession he has with you. I don’t know the solution. What I do know is that I’m not him, and I will never hurt you.”

I start to cry and wrap my arms around his waist and press my face to his chest. He wraps his arms around me and gently rubs my back while I cry.   
“I’m sorry…I just don’t have many people in my life who just love me without wanting anything in return.”  
“You have more than you think, sweetheart. Let’s get you home, okay?”  
“Okay.”

We get back on the bike and I wrap my arms tightly around his waist as he drives me home. When we get there, I get off the bike, say goodnight, and go inside. I go upstairs, shower, and change into pyjamas before going back downstairs and lying on the couch with my head on Kozik’s lap.  
“You’re back early, kiddo.”  
“I decided I didn’t want to be there anymore. Chibs brought me home.”  
“And you’re not hiding, or getting stoned.”  
“I just wanted to hang out with someone who loves me with no expectations. What are we watching?”  
“Don’t judge.”  
“What are you watching, Dad?”  
“Tarzan.”  
“How far in are you?”  
“Half. I can rewind.”  
“Please.”

We start the movie and he plays with my hair as we watch. By the end of the movie, I’m sobbing and I’ve moved so I’m curled up against him, crying into his shoulder.  
“Oh, my sweet girl…How can I help?”  
“You’re doing it. But can we watch another movie?”  
“Yeah. I don’t have anywhere to be. What do you want to watch?”  
“Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.”  
“Are you going to say every line with them?”  
“Only the funny ones.”  
“You are so lucky I love you, daughter.”  
“I know.”

He gets up to switch the movies, and when he sits down again I sit next to him with my arm hooked through his. We’re halfway through the movie with me saying the lines with them in my imitation Southern accent and wild gestures when everyone walks in. Meg comes rushing over to the couch and says:  
“You convinced him to watch this? Duncan will never watch this with me!”  
“Never underestimate the effect a crying daughter has on a father. He would have agreed to anything.”  
“Ah…See, I have no experience of that…My Dad’s an ass.”  
“True.”

Opie walks over and puts his hand on my cheek from behind the couch.  
“Why were you crying?”  
“We were watching Tarzan.”  
“Yup…That’ll do it.”

Kozik says:  
“What my daughter isn’t telling you is that she was upset when she and Chibs left the bar and she was upset when she got home. Yes, Tarzan made her cry, but she cried when she was with Chibs too. When she got home she made a comment about wanting to be with someone who loved her without expectations.”  
“Wow, Dad…Thanks so much for sharing with the class.”  
“My sweet girl, look around…All these people love you without expectations.”

I shrug and shake my head before saying:  
“That’s just empirically untrue.”

I get up and walk out of the room, going into my office and closing and locking the door before locking the door to the courtyard and turning off the light. I lie down on the couch, closing my eyes and willing the rest of the world away.

Lilly appears, sitting on the desk.  
“Little sister, don’t shut everyone out.”  
“Fuck off, Lilly. I have no interest in talking to you right now.”  
“I’m not even really here, little sister. I’m just in your head. Maybe you’re going crazy…like Lianne. You know that’s the real reason she became a drunk right? She thought the alcohol would stop the voices.”  
“That’s not true.”  
“Yes it is…You’re going crazy…Just like Mommy.”  
“Shut up.”  
“It really must suck…failing at killing yourself…twice. You always were pathetic.”  
“Leave me alone.”

—————————  
Opie’s Perspective  
—————————

Soon after Veronica closes herself in her office we can hear her crying. I hear her talking to Lilly, telling her to go away. I look at Eli and he says:  
“I don’t know. I can’t hear Lilly.”

We’re standing outside the door, banging on it and yelling for Veronica to open it when Duncan comes running downstairs.   
“Is the door locked?”  
“Yeah. That’s why we’re out here while she’s crying in there.”  
“Lilly’s telling her the reason Lianne started drinking was because she was going insane and wanted to stop the voices. She’s telling Veronica that she’s going crazy, just like Mommy. We have to get in that room.”  
“We can probably break the door leading to the courtyard.”  
“Then we should do that. I don’t know why Lilly’s doing this, but she’s convincing Veronica that she’s going crazy and that she’s pathetic because she can’t even kill herself properly.”

Suddenly, all the sounds stop from inside the room. Veronica is no longer crying or arguing with Lilly’s ghost. I hear the lock disengage and I open the door. Veronica is standing in the middle of the room, and she looks pissed.  
“Ronnie, baby?”  
“I am not Lianne. I am stronger than she ever was. I am not going crazy. I am not pathetic. I did not fail to kill myself, I succeeded in surviving my pain. I love you Lilly, and I miss you with every breath I take, but it’s not healthy for me to hold on to you anymore. You are dead. I am not. I am done listening to a dead girl.”

Duncan whispers:  
“Oh…Lilly did not like that.”  
“I did.”

I walk over to Veronica and say:  
“Baby?”  
She turns and looks at me, her eyes flashing in anger, before saying:  
“I’m okay, Ope.”  
“Are you sure? Duncan told me what Lilly said.”  
“Lilly’s fucking dead. What she says doesn’t matter.”

She looks deep in thought for a moment and then says:  
“Can I use your phone for a minute?”  
“Yeah.”  
I pass her my phone and watch as she dials Gemma’s number.  
“What are you doing, baby?”  
“The right thing.”  
Gemma must answer the phone, because Veronica says:  
“I know it’s late, but can you come to the house? We need to talk.”  
…  
“It’s about Clay. You need to know the truth.”  
…  
“Okay.”  
She hangs up and says:  
“Everyone who isn’t club needs to go home or go to bed. Right now.”  
“Alright.”

Duncan walks out of the room and says:  
“Everyone who isn’t SAMCRO needs to go to bed or go home. Veronica has decided she’s telling Gemma the truth about Clay and Gemma’s on her way. Go, now.”

Before we leave the office I say:  
“Are you sure about this, my love?”  
“Yes. Can you go get my phone? It’s on the dresser in the bedroom.”  
“Yeah.”

———————————  
Veronica’s Perspective  
———————————

Opie leaves the room and I follow, going into the living room. Jax pulls me aside and says:  
“Baby, are you sure about this?”  
“Yes. I would want to know the truth. She deserves to know the truth.”

Opie comes back with my phone as Gemma walks into the house. She takes in the scene in front of her: with Opie and Jax standing next to me, and Kozik and Bobby sitting on the couch and she sneers at me.  
“So, Veronica? My queen? What is this truth you need to share?”  
“Sit down, Gemma. Jax, go sit with your mother.”  
“You’ve gotten used to giving orders awfully quickly.”  
“I had a good teacher.”  
Once she’s sitting down, I say:  
“Clay didn’t die in a home invasion. He died in our courtyard. I shot him. And this is why.”  
I press play on the recording and watch her face as she hears it.  
“The son of a bitch actually did it…Veronica…I never thought he would…I thought he loved you enough to control himself.”  
“Well, apparently not.”  
“So why the lie about the home invasion?”  
“I didn’t want you to have to live with that memory. I convinced the guys to not strip him of his patch, to give him a proper SoA funeral…You deserve to be able to mourn your husband.”  
“Thank you for not letting them strip his patch. Thank you for telling me the truth. I’m sorry he hurt you.”  
“So where do we go from here, Gemma? Should I be concerned about you plotting my death?”  
“I would never kill you.”  
“I don’t believe you. Do you want to know why Clay decided he needed to rape me? It wasn’t because he was suddenly overcome with the urge to fuck me. It was because he felt the need to reassert his control.”  
“What do you mean?”

I look at Jax and he nods, so I say:  
“I know that you and Clay were responsible for JT’s death. I know you felt he had gone soft, and you were having an affair with Clay before JT died. I know that JT suspected that you would try to kill him, and that one of the ways he thought it would happen was bike sabotage. I know JT only let Lowell Sr work on his bike and that shortly after JT’s death Lowell Sr disappeared. But I know he didn’t just disappear. I know he’s in a grave with two Mayans on the side of the freeway, tossed away with the enemy after doing Clay’s bidding. I know that JT wanted to take SAMCRO out of guns, and that was a point of contention for him and Clay, but mostly Clay wanted JT gone so he could have his wife. I know JT had an affair in Belfast while your Thomas was fighting for his life, and I know Jax has a sister from that affair…When I told Clay that I knew this, even though I told him I was on his side - at that point I wasn’t planning on telling Jax any of this - he kicked Tig out of the house and asked me to prove how far I’d go to protect my family. That’s when that recording happened.”

“How do you know all that?”  
“I’m psychic.”  
“Seriously. How?”  
“Meddlesome ghost. But she led me to writings that JT left behind.”  
“Even knowing all this, you convinced them to not strip his patch? To not kill me? Why?”  
“You are my husband’s mother. You are my children’s grandmother. Do I approve of what you did? No. But I can’t change the past. I make no promises what the club decides to do now that Jax knows everything though…I told him I wouldn’t interfere anymore.”  
“Fair enough.”  
“I will tell you this though…If I even suspect you are planning to kill me or to hurt my family in any way, I will put a bullet in your brain. Do I make myself clear?”  
“Crystal.”  
“Great. I’m going to bed.”

I kiss Opie, and kiss Kozik’s and Bobby’s cheeks before walking over and kissing Jax on my way out of the room. 

When I get upstairs, Leo is standing in front of my bedroom door.  
“I’m not in the mood, Leo. Go to bed.”  
“I just thought you might need a hug after that.”  
“I don’t really want to be touched by anyone other than my husbands tonight. I love you, I just…sensory overload, I think.”  
“Okay. I love you.”  
“Goodnight, Leo.”

I walk into my bedroom and close the door behind me. As I do, Eli walks out of my bathroom.  
“I heard you tell Leo you don’t want to be touched. So I won’t touch you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You didn’t have to take the blame for killing Clay.”  
“Yes, I did. Because Gemma would kill you.”

I walk over to him and wrap my arms around him.   
“Can you hold me?”  
“Yeah, V. I can.”  
We lie down on the bed and he wraps his arms around me, pulling me into him. I rest my head on his chest and he quietly says:  
“So why wouldn’t you let Leo touch you?”  
“I don’t feel completely at ease with him anymore. Things changed, and I feel off-kilter with him.”  
“But you’re still comfortable with me?”  
“Eli…you have been one of my safe places since I was seven. Nothing that happens between us sexually will change that.”  
“I love you, Veronica.”  
“I love you. Will you stay?”  
“As long as your husbands let me.”

I fall asleep quickly after that. I wake up a little while later to the sensation of being moved. When I open my eyes, I’m under the blankets of my bed, with my head on Eli’s bare chest. I feel Jax behind me and feel Opie’s arm over Jax and holding onto my hip. I snuggle into the arms holding me and whisper into Eli’s chest:  
“They let you stay.”  
“Even lent me pyjama pants. What did Lilly say to you earlier?”  
“Lies. Cruel lies.”  
“Do you want to talk about it?”  
“No. I just want my three favourite people to hold me.”

Opie grumbles from his spot on the edge of the bed:  
“Go back to sleep Veronica.”  
“Yes, dear.”


	23. Easter Sunday

The morning of Easter Sunday I’m up early to get the kids ready for church. While Abuelita understands that we are not a religious household, she made the request that the kids and I attend services with her, Eli, and Felix on Easter and Christmas Eve, and it didn’t seem unreasonable to me. She also prefers that we get dressed up for church, so we do…Dresses for the girls and dress shirts and slacks for the boys.

Once I’m showered and dressed, I wake Eli up. It’s been three weeks since the failed girls’ night out when Lilly tried to convince me that I was going crazy, the night I told Gemma I killed Clay. 

Eli has slept in our bed more nights than he hasn’t. Nothing has happened, he just keeps showing up and Jax and Opie keep letting him stay. I think they think that my change in demeanour is a facade and I’m going to breakdown at some point, so they’re trying to keep as much help as possible handy. I tried to convince them that I’m fine — really, I am — but they don’t believe me. They keep acting like they are waiting for the other shoe to drop.

After Gemma found out the truth about what Clay did, she decided to have him cremated, and to push his SoA funeral back, so it’s happening tomorrow, and everyone’s a little on edge, worrying about how it’s going to go.

I go wake up the kids, directing Ellie and Kenny to get dressed before getting Abel dressed and then walking into the nursery where I find Opie getting the babies ready. I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist.  
“Thanks Ope.”  
“You don’t have to thank me for helping with our kids, Veronica.”  
“I know I don’t have to.”  
He finishes getting Dee dressed and puts her back in her crib for a moment before turning around and looking at me. I watch his eyes widen as he takes in my outfit. I’m wearing a white, flowered 1950’s vintage looking dress. It sits off my shoulders and is tight through my chest and stomach area, and then goes out into a tea-length poodle skirt, complete with dark pink tulle underneath. I’m also wearing a pearl necklace and pearl earrings. My hair is up in a French twist and I’ve got black heels on.  
“Goddamn.”  
“Abuelita picked it out. She decided it was the perfect Easter church dress.”  
“It’s very 1950’s glam housewife.”  
“Right?”  
“I really like it. You look amazing.”  
I wrap my arms tighter around him and rest my forehead on his chest. As I’m breathing deeply, I say:  
“I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you. You’re always so far away in bed.”  
“I have the reach, so it makes sense for me to be the furthest one out.”  
“Yes…that makes sense. But I’m not going to fall apart. This isn’t an act. I’m not just pretending to be okay. I am okay.”  
“But having Eli there too ensures that you are okay.”  
“I love Eli…Like, a lot. So don’t take this the wrong way…But he doesn’t need to sleep in our bed as much as he does. I miss sleeping between you and Jax, I miss falling asleep to your scent in my nose, I miss fucking my husbands in our bed at night, I miss being able to sleep naked with you guys, I miss not having to hide who is in our bed from our kids…”  
“Okay…I get it. I’ll talk to Jax and Eli. We’ll figure something out.”

He grabs my chin and lifts my face up so I’m looking at him. I gasp as I see the look in his eyes…that look of pure love…I pull his face down to mine and kiss him.  
“I love you, so much.”  
“I love you. Will we have some time to ourselves between church and family dinner?”  
“Yeah. I put the staff in charge of cooking today. Stay clear of the kitchen unless necessary, okay?”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

I kiss him again as Trinity walks in. The day after our talk with Gemma, Jax called Maureen and told her that he knew about his sister and that he wanted to meet her. When Trinity found out about Jax and the fact that she had nieces and nephews, she decided to come visit. She’s been here since a week after that. She’s ready for church already, wearing a dark green dress with light green tulle in the same 1950’s style as mine. She’s wearing a gold cross on a delicate gold chain and small gold hoop earrings. Her strawberry blonde hair is curled and pinned back from her face. She’s wearing black heels that are identical to mine. She says:  
“Sorry. Wanted to see if you needed help with my niece and nephew.”  
“No, we’re good Trin. Thanks. You look good.”  
“Abuelita has good taste.”  
“Yeah, she does.”  
She walks over and picks up Dee from her crib and says:  
“I’ll take her downstairs. Abuelita and Felix are in the living room.”  
“I’ll be right down with Tommy.”

As she leaves, I go back to kissing Opie.  
“Veronica…You have to go to church. But after church, I promise to ravage you.”  
“Good man.”

I pull away and pick up Tommy. As I walk into the hallway, I run into Eli and the other kids.  
“Damn, V. You look good.”  
“Thanks. Abuelita picked it out.”

We go downstairs and Felix takes Tommy out of my arms before Abuelita says:  
“About time.”  
“We’re going to be early, Abuelita. Don’t worry.”  
“No lo suficientemente temprano.” (Not early enough.)  
“Bueno, entonces vámonos.” (Well then, let’s go.)

Abuelita walks out the door, followed by Trinity, the kids, and Felix. Before we walk out the door, Eli gently grabs my arm and turns me to face him.  
“Te ves hermosa, nena.” (You look beautiful, baby.)  
“Gracias.”  
“Do you really think I should sleep here less?”  
“Eli, I love you…But yes, I think it would be best if you slept here less often. Not never…Just less.”

He pulls me closer to him, putting one of his hands on my neck before he kisses me. It’s a deep, passionate kiss…asking for things that I’m not sure I can give. I pull back slightly, resting my forehead on his and say:  
“Eli…”  
“I love you. I just want to be with you. To hold you.”  
“But Eli, I need to be alone with them sometimes. It’s important for our marriage for us to have that time. I love you, and I know you are worried about me. You all think I’m going to break, but I’m not.”  
“We’re all worried.”  
“I am not those things Lilly said about me. I am stronger, and saner, and a better mother than Lianne could ever have hoped to be. I have been through hell, but I made it through. I am stronger because of what happened to me. I am taking my meds, I am going to therapy. I have a fucking clear conscience because I told Gemma the truth. I told Jax everything he needed to know about JT. I am with two of the loves of my life. I have five amazing children, and this extended family that loves me, and my kids more than anything. I am not going to break. This isn’t a facade. I really am okay.”  
“Two of the loves of your life?”  
“Eli…you know how I feel about you.”  
“Baby…”

I lean in and kiss him again before putting my mouth against his ear and whispering:  
“Let me make this clear…Unless you manage to convince my husbands that we should be adding sex to our little sleepovers, and I mean all of us, Eli, not just you and me…the sleepovers need to happen less frequently, because I sleep better after I’ve been fucked.”  
He groans and says:  
“Jesus Christ, V…You’re gonna be the death of me.”  
“Maybe…But it’s much more likely that Abuelita will be if we don’t get out to the car right now to go to church.”  
“Valid point. We should go.”

Eli walks out of the house and I look at Jax and Opie, who are standing on the stairs. I smile and say:  
“I love you.”  
“We love you.”

I walk out of the house and close the door. I get into the car next to Trinity and she leans over and whispers in my ear:  
“So how long have you been fucking Eli behind my brother’s back?”  
“Who says I’m doing it behind his back?”  
“Jax doesn’t seem like the sharing type.”  
I laugh and say:  
“You’d be surprised.”  
“How long?”  
“Few weeks ago was the first time in a year. Hasn’t happened since.”  
“Do Jax and Opie know?”  
“They walked in right afterwards with this grand plan of fucking me in front of Eli to teach him a lesson. Eli was into it, I wasn’t. I said no.”  
“So they are okay with sharing?”  
“Sometimes…with certain people, in certain situations.”

Abuelita says:  
“That’s enough, girls. This is not an appropriate conversation to be having on the way to church.”  
“I’m sorry, Abuelita. We’re done.”  
“And for the record, Veronica. You shouldn’t be having sex with Eli at all. You are a married woman.”  
“Abuelita, if Jax and Opie don’t have an issue with it, why do you?”  
“Eli needs to find his own wife.”  
Eli says:  
“Abuelita, I don’t want a wife. I want Veronica. Even if that means stolen kisses and the occasional night together.”  
“Eli, that's inappropriate. It doesn't matter what you want. She is married. She has children. She is our family. If you keep doing this, keep pushing, you will break our family.”  
I gasp and say:  
“Abuelita. Enough. I love you, but what happens in my bedroom is none of your business. Eli is not going to destroy our family. Nothing that happens between Eli and I will affect the fact that we are family. I have loved him since I was seven years old. Nothing is going to change that.”

Trinity says:  
“This is my fault. I’m sorry I said anything.”  
I shake my head and say:  
“It’s not your fault, Trin. This conversation has been brewing for a while.”

When we get to the church, Eli takes Dee and Felix takes Tommy. Tristen appears from…somewhere and takes Ellie’s hand, leaving Kenny and Abel to Trinity and me. By the time Trinity and I get into the church, everyone else is already sitting with Elliott and his wife Karen. We take our seats at the end of the pew as the service begins.

—————————  
Opie’s Perspective  
—————————

Once everyone leaves for church, Jax and I head into the basement to the home gym. While we’re working out, I say:  
“We need to make a decision about what we’re doing with Eli.”  
“Why do we need to do that right now?”  
“Veronica is getting irritated. She said she wants him over less, but with the reasons she listed, I’m sure that giving the option of adding sex to the mix will solve the issue too.”  
“It’s only been a few weeks…I thought we had decided to give it a while before making a decision?”  
“Yeah, but we didn’t include Ronnie in that conversation, and our girl is getting antsy. She’s okay, Jax…She’s not going to break or fall apart. She’s…her again. That girl she was when you were together in Tacoma…just, more confident, more grown up.”  
“I know. I know she’s okay…I just…”  
“Don’t want to lose her again?”  
“Yeah.”  
“She’s not going anywhere.”  
“Fine. Message Elliott and ask if everyone else can go home with him after church.”

——————————  
Veronica’s Perspective  
——————————

When church is done, we all go outside, and Elliott’s phone buzzes with a text notification. He glances at it and says:  
“How about everyone comes over to my house for lunch?”  
Abuelita says:  
“That would be lovely, Elliott. Thank you.”

As Abuelita, Felix, Trinity, and the kids walk away, Elliott grabs my arm and says:  
“Not you and Eli. Jax and Opie need to talk to you. I’m just here to give you time.”  
“Thanks, Elliott.”

He hands Eli his keys and says:  
“Take my car, we’ll take yours and trade back later.”  
“Thanks.”

When we get home, the guys are not on the main floor of the house or in the basement. I look at Eli and say:  
“They must be upstairs.”

When we walk into the bedroom, there’s a note in Jax’s writing on the bed that says:  
‘Lock the door and take off your clothes.’  
When I turn around to lock the door, there’s another note, this one in Opie’s writing, attached to the door saying:  
‘Yes…both of you.’

Eli wraps his arms around my waist and whispers:  
“What are they doing, V?”  
“Well, I assume they’ve decided that we can add sex to this weird little relationship we have going on.”  
“What do you want?”  
“I want you to take off your damn clothes.”  
He bites my ear and says:  
“Your wish is my command.”

We both take off our clothes and Jax and Opie walk in from the bathroom. They’re both naked too, so I say:  
“So we’ve just decided to forego any conversation about this?”  
Jax says:  
“Well, three of the people in this room are not very smart, and we’ve always been better at using our actions over our words…Also, we didn’t think you’d object.”  
“I don’t…I just thought maybe we should have a conversation.”  
Opie says:  
“Fine, here’s our conversation…The three of us are clean. Eli, are you?”  
“Yes. I wouldn’t be kissing V as much as I do if I wasn’t.”  
“Good. Now, Jax and I got fixed after the twins, and Veronica isn’t on birth control. Since five kids is already excessive, you will wear a condom unless you also make the decision to get fixed. I do recommend thinking about that decision long and hard though, because you don’t have kids yet.”  
“I can handle wearing a condom.”  
“We don’t know where this is going after today. Whether this continues or not will be a group decision, but, even if this continues forever, you will always be Uncle Eli to our kids, not a version of Dad. Got it?”  
“Understood.”  
“Also, regardless of how this relationship progresses, starting tonight you have your own room. You can sleep in our room occasionally, but not the majority of the time.”  
“Okay. What happens if the treaties break down?”  
“Then you move out and the sexual relationship stops.”  
“Seems reasonable. Can we fuck now, or are we just gonna stand here naked for a while?”  
“Hey, talk to the lady, she’s the one who wanted a conversation.”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.  
“What’s the plan here guys?”  
I feel Eli’s hand on my waist and he whispers:  
“Are you okay, V?”  
“Yes.”  
“You’re shaking.”  
“It’s a lot.”  
“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”  
“I know that. None of you would ever force me to do anything. I want to. I really, really want to. It’s just a little overwhelming.”

My eyes are still closed when I feel Jax and Opie run their hands over me. Opie whispers in my ear:  
“Let us take care of you sweet girl.”  
I stand there quietly with my eyes closed for what seems like forever before I shake my head and say:  
“I can’t. It’s too much.”

Eli’s fingers tighten on my waist and Opie runs his fingers over my face before saying:  
“Don’t cry baby. It’s okay. Everything’s okay.”  
“I just…”  
“We know. It’s okay. Breathe, Veronica.”  
“I need…”  
“To get dressed and call your therapist?”  
“It’s Sunday. And a holiday.”  
“Shit.”  
“So…I’m going to go for a run. Can you guys stop touching me, please?”  
They all step back and stop touching me. I walk into the closet and when I come out again I’ve gotten dressed in exercise clothes and changed my hair to a high ponytail. They’re all dressed when I walk into the bedroom. I kiss each of them and leave the room. 

————————  
Jax’s Perspective  
————————

As Veronica leaves the room, I sit on the edge of the bed.  
“So much for that plan. What the hell just happened?”  
Eli says:  
“She doesn’t want this.”  
“Yes, she does. I know my wife. She’s just scared.”  
“I know her too. I’ve known her since she was seven. That was not her just being scared. There is something wrong.”  
“No. There isn’t. She’s fine, just freaking out.”  
Opie says:  
“Eli might be right, babe. She didn’t just seem scared. There was something else off.”  
“Did she say where she was running? She didn’t promise to stay on the property did she?”  
“She’ll be fine. You know our girl is a badass.”

——————————  
Veronica’s Perspective  
——————————

I run twelve laps of the trail before I realize that running isn’t helping. I go into the barn and give all the horses a pat and a treat before climbing the ladder to the hay loft. Tristen and Ellie have set up a fort area in the corner, draping blankets over bales of hay. They have pillows, books, and snacks up here. I shake my head as I curl up on the blankets. I must fall asleep to the calming scent of horses and hay, because the next thing I know, Tristen is coming up the ladder calling for me.  
“Ronnie?”  
“Tristen…What are you doing here, sweetheart? What time is it?”  
“It’s time for dinner, Ronnie. No-one could find you.”  
“I came up here to be alone for a while and I must have fallen asleep. You did a good job with your fort, it’s very comfortable.”  
“Are you okay, Ronnie?”  
“I will be. Can you go let everyone know that you found me and that you all should go ahead and have dinner without me?”  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
“Thank you.”

She leaves and I pull out my phone. I have a lot of messages and missed calls. I send a group message to everyone I have messages from, saying:  
‘I fell asleep in the hay loft. I’m fine. Have dinner without me.’

I then call my therapist Jane’s after-hours number and put it on speaker.  
“Veronica?”  
“Jane. I’m sorry for bothering you on Easter.”  
“It’s alright. Are you okay? Opie called in a panic earlier.”  
“I’m…not. No. We talked about me possibly going to inpatient treatment. I think I need to do that.”  
“Is this just a reaction to being overwhelmed earlier? I don’t want you making a rash decision. Why don’t you come into the office tomorrow and we’ll talk?”  
“Jane…there’s something wrong. I can feel it. I wasn’t just overwhelmed earlier. I love them all, but them touching me made my skin crawl…Like it was Lee or Clay. It made me panic.”  
“Clay’s funeral is tomorrow, isn’t it?”  
“What does that have to do with anything?”  
“Maybe everyone thinking about him and focusing on him is affecting you in ways that you didn’t expect it to. It’s probably bringing Lee back up for you too, considering his friends are going to be there. The same friends that knew what he was doing to you and allowed it to happen. Could that be why you’ve suddenly decided to consider inpatient treatment? So you don’t have to be there tomorrow?”  
I start to cry and Jane says:  
“You don’t have to be there, Veronica. It is okay to say that you can’t do this. It is okay to leave, to be somewhere else.”  
“No, it’s not. I can’t leave. I’m the queen. The funeral is my responsibility. If it weren’t for me, Clay wouldn’t be dead.”  
“It is not your fault Clay did what he did.”  
“No, but it is my fault there’s a recording, it’s my fault that people found out what he did. I should have just kept my mouth shut.”  
“So he could continue raping you? I heard the recording, Veronica. He said you were done for ‘today’, meaning he was intending on doing that to you again.”  
“I know…but I could have just avoided being alone with him. I could have done something else…anything else.”  
“Okay. Here’s what you are going to do. You are going to hang up the phone, go talk to your husbands, and tell them that you are taking a break. You are going to go to Neptune and stay with your father and step-mother. Come back on Wednesday for an appointment with me at 3:00 pm. You are not to go to the funeral, you are not to be near Lee’s friends.”  
“Jake and Celeste aren’t speaking to me.”  
“Why?”  
“I don’t know. They just…cut me out.”  
“Do you have somewhere else you could go?”  
“No. I don’t have anyone else. My whole life is in this town, in this house. I don’t have any other family or friends.”  
“What about going to stay with Donna’s Mom?”  
“Darlene? She hates me.”  
“No, she doesn’t. You know I’ve spoken to her. She is so happy with how you’ve been taking care of Ellie and Kenny. She is just worried about you, she thinks you are too young for this. I can’t say I disagree with her.”  
“Jane…I can’t go stay with my husband’s dead first wife’s mom. That’s just so incredibly messed up. I’ll just deal.”  
“No, you won’t. You won’t deal. You’ll break down and hide away in a fucking hay loft.”  
“I don’t have anywhere else to go!”  
“What about Cliff?”  
“I haven’t spoken to him in months.”  
“Veronica. I am your therapist. Why is this the first I’m hearing about Jake and Celeste cutting you out, and you not speaking to Cliff?”  
“I didn’t want you to worry.”  
“You need to stop concerning yourself with everyone else’s emotions and start worrying about your own.”  
“Jane…”  
“I know that’s difficult for you, Veronica, but that is why you have such a hard time explaining how you are feeling to other people. You don’t pay enough attention to your feelings.”  
“Well, you aren’t wrong. Okay. I will find somewhere to go until Wednesday.”  
“Good girl. Call me if you can’t figure something out. I’ll get you admitted on a 72-hour hold.”  
“No…Not the hospital, please Jane.”  
“Only as a last resort, and I’ll stay with you the whole time.”  
“Thank you, Jane.”  
I hang up and flop back onto the blankets and pillows. I stare at the ceiling for a minute, then call Tara.  
“Veronica.”  
“Hey, do you have any vacation days?”  
“Yeah. You want to run away?”  
“Shrink’s orders.”  
“From now until?”  
“Wednesday.”  
“I can take a couple of days. Where are we going?”  
“Surprise me. Somewhere within driving distance.”  
“Leave it to me. Go pack and talk to those men of yours. I’ll be there in an hour to get you.”  
“Thanks, Tara.”  
I hang up the phone and climb down from the hay loft. When I get to the bottom of the ladder and turn around, I come face-to-face with Jax, Opie, and Eli. I lean back against the ladder and close my eyes before saying:  
“How much of that did you hear?”  
Opie says:  
“Your whole conversation with Jane, and your half of the conversation with Tara.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
Jax says:  
“Open your eyes. Why can’t you look at us? You’ve had your eyes closed every time you’ve spoken to us since you got home from church.”

I take a deep breath and open my eyes. As soon as I look at them, I start to cry. They all take a step towards me, and I hold up my hands to make them stop before saying:  
“Please, don’t touch me. I just…can’t right now. I love you all, so much…But this? This is too much for me. I can’t…I can’t. Maybe Jane’s right, maybe it’s just the funeral and Lee’s friends coming, but I feel like I can’t breathe. I feel like something awful is going to happen. So I’m going to do what Jane told me to. I’m going to go away until Wednesday, after everyone is gone and I can go see Jane in person. Tara’s going to go with me. She’ll be here in an hour to pick me up.”

Jax scoffs and says:  
“Same old Veronica. Things get difficult and you run away. Maybe you’re more like Lianne than I thought.”  
I gasp and start to cry harder as I slide down to the ground, curling up around my knees.  
Opie says:  
“Jax…She is listening to her therapist. We told her to start seeing a therapist again, and now you’re mad at her for following Jane’s advice?”  
“She’s running away! She would have done it with or without Jane’s advice. Shit gets hard and she fucking bails.”  
“Jax! Enough! She is not doing anything wrong.”  
“She’s running. And she’s going with Tara. The last time Tara left town she was gone for ten years.”  
“Ronnie is not Tara! And she’s not Lianne! Stop this.”

I stop crying and take a deep breath before I stand up and shake my head.   
“I’m going away for two days, with a friend, so I don’t have to be here, in this house, with those men who let Lee violently rape me on a daily basis for MONTHS. So I don’t have to be here and pretend to grieve for a man who raped me after promising me over and over again that he wouldn’t hurt me. That he would protect me. That he loved me. I am not running away, you fucking asshole. I am listening to my therapist, so I don’t fall apart and try to fucking kill myself again. You can be mad if you want. That’s your prerogative, but if you ever say I’m like Lianne again…I love you Jax, but you will move the fuck out of my house. You know how hard I’ve worked to overcome the damage that woman did to me.”

I walk out of the barn, sidestepping him when he reaches for me. I end up walking straight into Trinity. She wraps her arms around me and says:  
“I’m going with you and Tara, so is Lyla. Clarence arranged for us to use the helicopter. Tara already booked the hotel, using your name and credit card of course. We’re going to go have some fun and come home around lunchtime on Wednesday.”

Jax says:  
“Now I’m even more worried about this.”  
“Don’t be, dear brother. I will take care of my sister-in-law. We’re going to go be kids for a couple of days.”

I look at her and say:  
“Where are we going?”  
“Disneyland. Tara thought it would do the best job at cheering you up.”  
“We’re going to Disneyland? I’ve never been to Disneyland.”  
“Yup. We’re staying at one of the fancy hotels…Thanks for that, by the way. Go pack.”

I walk away from her, towards the house and I hear her say:  
“What the hell is wrong with you, Jackson?”

—————————  
Trinity’s Perspective  
—————————

When I walked up to the barn, I heard Jax say:  
“Same old Veronica. Things get difficult and you run away. Maybe you’re more like Lianne than I thought.”

I stayed outside, out of sight, waiting for the right moment to walk in. Once I hear Veronica stand up for herself, I walk into sight. I wrap my arms around her when she walks near me. She’s shaking and I can tell how hard she’s working to keep from crying. Once I share the news about Disneyland and she walks away, I say:  
“What the hell is wrong with you, Jackson?”  
“What? Nothing.”  
“So, that…that was just the way you normally speak to the woman you supposedly love?”  
“Supposedly? I love her more than anything.”  
“Really? You have a shit way of showing it.”  
“I was upset.”  
“Oh? So being upset gives you free rein to hurt her?”  
“No…I didn’t mean to hurt her.”  
“I have known Veronica for like…two weeks, and even I know how much she hates Lianne. How much Lianne hurt her. What Lianne allowed to happen to her…There is no way that telling her that she is like Lianne wasn’t intended to inflict pain.”

He just glares at me, flaring his nostrils slightly so I know he’s really pissed.  
“Is that look supposed to scare me? I grew up surrounded by SoA Belfast members and the fucking IRA, you are not scary, big brother. You claim to love Veronica more than anything, but you hurt her on purpose. And you two…Jesus Christ. Ope, really? The love of your life was being spoken to like that and you just tried to talk Jax down…barely. And, Eli…You say you’ve loved Veronica since she was seven, but you did nothing. You just stood there!”

Before they can say anything, Kozik appears behind me and moves into the barn and punches each of them in the face.   
“Do you know how hard I have worked to make my daughter believe that she is loved? That she isn’t her mother? That it’s okay to show people how she’s feeling? That she should tell people what she needs? You told me you loved her! You promised me that you would take care of her! That you would protect her!”

We hear a gunshot come from the direction of the house and we all start running that way. Before we get there, there’s another gunshot and we hear the kids screaming for their mama and grandma. We get into the dining room and see Gemma lying on the floor with a bullet hole in her forehead. There’s a gun in her hand, and on the floor at the other end of the room, Veronica is gasping for breath as Leo presses on her abdomen. There’s blood everywhere. 

“Chibs! Bobby! Tig! Get those kids out of here. Take them upstairs.”  
I run over to Veronica and add my hands to Leo’s, putting pressure on the bullet hole in her stomach.  
“What happened?”  
“Veronica said she wasn’t staying for the funeral. Gemma got pissed. Pulled a gun and shot Ronnie. Wayne shot Gemma.”  
“Did someone call 9-1-1?”  
“Yes. Felix did. He’s waiting for the ambulance.”

Kozik comes over and kneels next to Veronica’s head, brushing her hair back from her face and begging her to hang on. Veronica’s eyes flutter and she whispers:  
“Dad? It hurts, I’m cold…Where are my babies?”  
“Upstairs with their uncles. Just hold on baby. The ambulance is coming.”  
“I’m so tired, Daddy…I’m just going to close my eyes for a minute.”  
“No! Veronica Winston-Teller! You open your fucking eyes right now.”  
“Don’t be mad, Daddy. I’ll be okay…Mom, Lilly, Don, and Keith are all here. They’re waiting. I’m just so tired. Take care of my babies…”

Her eyes close again as Opie comes over. He kneels on the other side of her head and presses his forehead to hers. I hear him whisper:  
“Don’t you dare leave me, Veronica. I only survived Donna’s death because of you. I won’t survive this. Don’t you leave us. Fight. Open your eyes. Come on, baby. Fight. Breathe.”

Leo is sobbing now, still pressing hard against her abdomen. I start praying aloud and hear Eli, Abuelita, Elliott, Karen, Tristen, and Happy joining in. I feel Veronica’s abdomen move under my hands when she gasps for breath again. When I look at her face, her eyes are open and she’s moving one of her hands up to touch Opie’s face. Her fingers leave a trail of blood on his cheek, but he doesn’t seem to notice. She barely whispers:  
“Don’t cry, Harry. I promised I wouldn’t leave you.”

Felix comes running in with paramedics following him. They transfer Veronica to the stretcher and say:  
“Is anyone coming with us?”  
Jax says:  
“Yeah. I will, she’s my wife.”  
I shake my head at him and say:  
“The hell you will. This blonde man right here is her Dad. He will go.”  
Kozik squeezes my hand and follows them out of the house. 

Once they’ve left, I say:  
“Leo…I know you’re upset right now. I know how much you love Veronica. But you need to go wash her blood off of your hands, and be a cop. You need to talk to Wayne before he turns that gun on himself, and you need to get Gemma’s body out of here so we can clean this room up, okay?”  
He nods and stands up to go wash his hands. I turn to Opie and say:  
“Go wash your hands and face and then go to the hospital. You’ll be useless wherever you are, you may as well be there for Kozik.”  
He nods and follows Leo out of the room. I turn around and look at Jax and Eli before saying:  
“You two…Pull yourselves together and go upstairs. Be with the kids. Calm them down. Watch a movie, read a story…V said something about cheerleading videos? Take the kids in your room, snuggle with them and watch videos of their Mama when she was young and happy.”  
Jax opens his mouth to argue and I stop him saying:  
“I’m sorry. Was that too much like a request? That was a fucking order. Go take care of the kids. Send the others back down to me. I need their help cleaning.”  
I look at Abuelita and say:  
“Can you deal with the twins?”  
“Of course.”  
I wait until they leave the room, then say:  
“Elliott, Karen…Take Tristen home. I’ll call when we hear anything.”  
As they leave the room, I yell:  
“Felix!”  
“Yes ma’am?”  
“Why was Gemma armed?”  
“Veronica doesn’t impose the ‘no weapons’ rule for SoA members and old ladies unless Marcus or Laroy is going to be here.”  
“Okay, well, clearly that was a fucking oversight.”  
“It will be corrected ma’am.”  
“Good.”

Tara walks in as Felix walks out and says:  
“What the fuck?”  
“Gemma shot Veronica. Unser shot Gemma.”  
“Is Veronica okay?”  
“Bullet wound to the abdomen. The ambulance left with her a few minutes ago.”  
“I’ll go to the hospital and see if they’ll let me scrub in.”  
“Thanks. Opie and Kozik are there.”  
“Where’s Jax?”  
“Upstairs with the kids…Where he will stay.”  
“What did he do?”  
“Told her she was like Lianne when she said she needed to leave and not be here for the funeral. She was pretty upset with him when she got shot.”  
“Idiot. I’ll call you when I know anything about V.”  
“Thanks, Tara.”

It’s five hours before I hear from Tara. Once I get off the phone with her, I call Elliott and update him, then go upstairs. I walk into the master bedroom and find Jax and Eli laying on the bed with Ellie, Kenny, and Abel between them. A video of Veronica, another blonde and two guys is up on the screen. They look like they are pretty drunk, in the back of a limo, in fancy clothes. When Jax notices me, he pauses the video. He quietly says:  
“Did she survive?”  
“Yes. The bullet tore through her uterus and one of her ovaries, but didn’t hit anything she can’t live without. Tara had to do a full hysterectomy in order to stop the bleeding, but Veronica will live.”  
Both Jax and Eli start crying, so I continue:  
“The bullet came to a stop against her spine. They removed it successfully, but we won’t know if it caused damage until she wakes up.”  
“Are you telling me that she might be paralyzed?”  
“Yes. But she’ll be alive. I’ll stay here with the kids. You go to the hospital. Ope and Kozik need you.”  
“No they don’t. She could have died, Trin. She could have died, and the last thing I said to her was cruel and made her cry.”  
“She is not going to die. Are you really not going to go to the hospital?”  
“She won’t want to see me.”  
“Jesus…You’re more of an idiot than I thought if you really believe that. Fine. You stay here. I’ll go to the damn hospital.”

—————————  
Opie’s Perspective  
—————————

After the surgery, they move Veronica into a private room and Tara comes to tell us what happened…Something about a hysterectomy and possible paralysis, but I focus on the words “Veronica’s alive”, so nothing else matters. Tara lets Kozik and I go in the room, telling us that Veronica might not wake up for a few hours, but that we were welcome to sit with her.

We sit there with her for hours, talking to her, to each other, to God, before she starts to wake up. She squeezes my hand and whispers:  
“Ope? I was so sure I was going to die.”  
“Yeah, I was pretty afraid of that too baby.”  
“Are the kids okay? I heard them screaming.”  
“They’re all fine. They are at home.”

She turns slightly to look at Kozik and whispers:  
“Daddy…I’m sorry I scared you.”  
“Not your fault, princess…But try not to get shot again, okay?”  
“I’ll do my best. It hurts.”  
“Yeah it does.”

She looks around, and says:  
“Where’s Jax?”  
Trinity steps into the room from where she was waiting in the hall and says:  
“He stayed home with the kids. He wasn’t sure if you’d want to see him.”  
“Fucking moron. Of course I want to see him. I got shot. By his mother.”

She moves her legs, I assume to get more comfortable, and Kozik, Trinity, and I all start smiling.  
“What? Why are you all grinning like idiots?”  
“You moved your legs babe.”  
“…Yeah. Was there a concern that I’d be paralyzed?”  
“The bullet came to a stop against your spine. They weren’t sure if it did damage or not.”  
“Oh…Well, I’m glad I’m not paralyzed…That would suck.”

She squeezes my hand again and says:  
“Kiss me Ope.”  
“Yes dear.”  
I lean in and kiss her before saying:  
“Do you want me to call Jax?”  
“Yes please.”


	24. Two Weeks Later

I’m sitting in my hospital bed playing poker with Laroy and Marcus when a blonde woman walks into my room.  
“Hi Veronica. I’m June Stahl.”  
Laroy stands up and says:  
“She is only allowed two visitors at once.”  
“Laroy, it’s alright. Agent Stahl is with the ATF. Why don’t you and Marcus go? Call my husbands for me and let them know about my unexpected visitor, okay?”  
“Yeah. Alright.”

Both he and Marcus kiss my cheeks as they leave. Marcus whispers:  
“I’ll call CW too.”  
“Thank you.”

Agent Stahl sits down in the chair Marcus just vacated and says:  
“They’re the heads of the One-Niners and the Mayans, right?”  
“Are they? I wouldn’t know. They’re friends.”  
“Veronica. You know damn well that they are. You also know why I’m here.”  
“I assumed you were here because I got shot.”  
“Family dispute? Really? You thought that pulled the ATF in?”  
“I’m an eighteen-year-old girl, Agent Stahl. How am I supposed to know why the ATF does what it does?”  
“So you’re playing stupid?”  
“Who says I’m playing? Why don’t you tell me why you’re here, Agent Stahl? Before my over-priced lawyer gets here.”  
“I want the IRA connection.”  
“What IRA connection?”  
“The Sons move guns for the IRA. I want the IRA connection. You give it to me and I don’t take the Sons down with them.”  
“Has that ever worked for you? I’m just curious, because you don’t sound like you’re being honest.”  
“You should trust me Miss Mars. I’m your father’s best chance at staying out of prison.”  
“I’m not sure what Jake Kane or my dead step-father Keith Mars have to do with your investigation, Agent Stahl.”  
“You know I was referring to Herman Kozik.”  
“Well then, you should say that. Kozik isn’t my father. He dated my Mom for a while. I’m fond of him, but if you’re trying to exploit that connection, it’s tenuous.”  
“How about your connection to the cute Irish girl who’s been here?”  
“I missed a cute Irish girl? I’m very upset about that.”  
“I’m not here to play with you Miss Mars.”  
“Oh, but I so enjoy playing.”  
“Miss Mars, I think that someone in the Sons will give up the IRA connection…I think it’s just a matter of time once a story is told about the family that suddenly went into protective custody.”

I yawn before saying:  
“And which family would be going into protective custody? Not mine. I have my own private security firm, I don’t need the ATF. Also, why do you keep calling me Miss Mars? That’s not my name.”  
“I know you are connected to the club, Veronica. I’m just not sure how.”  
“I thought the ATF was better at investigating than that.”  
“Miss Mars.”

Tara walks in then and says:  
“Ronnie? The guys are here.”  
“They can come in.”  
Tara leaves and Jax and Opie walk in. Both of them kiss me and then look at Agent Stahl with amused looks on their faces.

I say:  
“Agent Stahl…My husbands. Jax Teller and Opie Winston. My name, for the record, is Veronica Winston-Teller, not Veronica Mars.”  
She looks stunned as she says:  
“You’re the queen…How the hell did we not find that out in our investigation?”  
“Queen is a fancy title…Makes me sound like I have power, which is not true. Mechanics are notoriously difficult to boss around. The Sons are motorcycle enthusiasts who are mostly mechanics, Agent Stahl. They don’t have an IRA contact.”  
“The Irish girl?”  
“My sister-in-law. Jax’s sister.”  
“The Sons run guns. I know they do. We didn’t screw up that badly while investigating.”  
“Agent Stahl, my step-dad, the man who raised me, was Sheriff. Do you really think he would have let me marry and have children with Jax if the Sons ran guns?”  
“Maybe he didn’t know.”  
“Okay, let’s for a minute assume he was bad at his job. My biological father is Jake Kane, tech billionaire. His head of security, Clarence, who should be here any minute with my lawyer, runs background checks on everyone who even thinks about entering my life. He even finds juvenile records. He doesn’t miss anything. His investigators, my investigators, are the best in the world. Trained by the top intelligence agencies. There is no way he missed the Sons running guns. And assuming that it was there, and he saw it, there’s no way Jake would have allowed me to marry Jax. You’re barking up the wrong tree. They are motorcycle enthusiasts with GEDs who work as mechanics in a shop Jax’s Dad and step-dad opened eons ago.”  
“How does Jax live on a large plot of land with a giant house and horses?”  
“He married me. The daughter of a billionaire? Even assuming lucrative illegal activity, Jax and Opie couldn’t afford our home. You’re looking in the wrong place.”  
“If the Sons don’t run guns, explain to me why the heads of the two largest gangs in Oakland were in your hospital room playing poker with you when I arrived.”  
“I told you. Marcus and Laroy are friends.”  
“How?”  
“An ex-boyfriend of mine started working for Marcus. The ex and I are still extremely close, so he introduced me to Marcus. Marcus likes me because I remind him of his dead sister. I met Laroy when some girlfriends and I tried to get into his club in Oakland using fake IDs. We hit it off. He likes that I have an attitude problem.”  
“Extremely close?”  
I laugh and say:  
“We still fuck occasionally.”  
“You have two husbands, you need to fuck someone else?”  
“While Jax and Opie are basically sex gods, the whole ‘Latin lover’ thing is a cliche for a reason.”  
“The Sons are a pretty white club. They don’t mind their California cheerleader wife fucking a Latino guy?”  
I look at Jax and Opie and say:  
“You want to take this one?”

Jax says:  
“We don’t mind any more than we mind her fucking anyone else. Also, we have a Latino dude in the club, and we offered the ex a spot if he wanted to join. We have nothing against Latino people. We aren’t racists.”

Stahl looks at me and says:  
“What’s the ex’s name?”  
“Eli Navarro.”  
“Navarro? Any relation to your nanny?”  
“He is her grandson.”  
“You have your ex’s grandmother working for you?”  
“I have known Eli and Abuelita since I was seven years old. Abuelita is the only consistent parental or grandparental figure I’ve ever had in my life. I wanted to give that to my kids…So I pay Abuelita an obscene amount of money and built her a wing of our house, and in exchange she takes care of my kids.”  
“What does she do with the money?”  
“Puts it in the bank and refuses to spend it. I pretend that I don’t know she’s put it in a college fund for her great-grandkids. And then she pretends she doesn’t know that I add extra money to the fund each month. We’re family.”  
“How do I go about meeting this ex?”

Opie says:  
“He came with us. I’ll get him.”  
“He was at your house when you were called?”  
Jax says:  
“He lives with us. So does the Deputy Chief, by the way.”  
“Why does the Deputy Chief live with you?”  
“He’s hoping that someday he’ll get more out of my wife than a blow job after being allowed to eat her out. He’s hoping if he lives with us for long enough she’ll cave and fuck him.”  
“You’re really okay with this?”  
“Why wouldn’t I be?”  
“I’ve read a lot about you, Jackson Teller. I didn’t expect you to be okay sharing your wife.”  
“Yeah, well…Veronica is a lot of work. Very demanding. Sometimes a guy needs to tap out.”  
I roll my eyes and say:  
“Thanks dear. I love you too.”

Eli walks into the room with Opie and kisses me before saying:  
“You are demanding and a lot of work, my love.”  
“Hey Eli? Fuck you.”  
“You’re the one recovering from a gunshot wound, baby…But if that’s what you really want, I’m in.”  
“Shut up.”  
He winks at me before turning to look at Agent Stahl.  
“You wanted to meet me?”  
“You’re a Mayan.”  
“Yes.”  
“But you live with the president of the Sons.”  
“We’re just two groups of motorcycle enthusiasts. What’s the issue?”  
“The issue is that up until not that long ago, people would describe the relationship between the Sons and the Mayans as…antagonistic. What changed?”  
“We solved our disagreements. It was mostly about style of bike, honestly.”  
“Do the Sons run guns?”  
“Not that I know of. Shouldn’t you guys be bringing in a lot more money if you’re running guns?”

Jax says:  
“You’d think.”

Stahl says:  
“So if we execute search warrants on all SoA properties, including homes, we wouldn’t find anything that points to you running guns?”  
“Nope.”  
“Good. Because they’re being searched right now.”  
“I figured they would be, that’s why I got Abuelita to take the kids out when we left the house. Don’t need the fucking ATF traumatizing them any more than they already have been recently.”  
“The kids have been traumatized?”

I say:  
“That little family dispute happened in front of them.”  
“Oh. So they saw Grandma shoot Mommy, then Chief Unser shoot Grandma?”  
“Yes.”  
“Why did your mother-in-law shoot you, Veronica?”  
“Because I told her I wasn’t going to Clay’s funeral.”  
“Why?”  
I shrug and say:  
“Because he raped me.”  
“Why?”  
“I knew something he didn’t want me to know. Clay liked to be in control. How better to control a teenager who was brutally raped on a daily basis for months? Rape her. She’ll shut up right quick.”  
“What did you know?”  
Jax says:  
“She knew that Clay and my mom were having an affair before my dad died. And that Clay paid a mechanic to fuck with my dad’s bike. That’s why he died. Veronica didn’t tell me until after Clay died.”

Agent Stahl’s phone rings and she answers it on speaker:  
“What did you find?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Nothing?”  
“Only weapons we found were all properly stored or in the possession of licensed owners, carried according to their licenses.”  
“The stored weapons?”  
“All registered to Veronica Winston-Teller, licensed private investigator.”  
“The licensed owners?”  
“Security guards. All licensed as such. None with criminal records.”  
“The barn?”  
“Horses, horse…stuff. One horse was anxious when we got near him, but one of the security guards calmed him down.”

I say:  
“Raven was rescued from an abusive situation. He only likes a few people. The security guard must have been Felix.”  
The voice on the phone says:  
“Yes. Felix was exceptionally helpful.”  
Agent Stahl says:  
“And the clubhouse?”  
“Nothing.”  
“The garage?”  
“Nothing ma’am.”  
“Other club members’ houses? Jax and Opie’s empty homes?”  
“Nothing, ma’am. And those homes aren’t empty, they are being rented. The tenants were very cooperative though. They say the Winston-Tellers are exceptional landlords.”  
“Goddamn it. So we have nothing on them?”  
“Not a thing ma’am.”

She hangs up and says:  
“You can expect to see me again, Veronica.”  
“Sure. I always like company.”


	25. Six Months Later

I got out of the hospital a few days after Agent Stahl showed up, I still had healing to do, but Tara was confident that I could handle being home. We ended up having a joint funeral for Clay and Gemma after I got home, burying them next to each other with full SoA fanfare. Even a few guys from Belfast showed up.

Trinity decided she wanted to stay in California, so she applied for Stanford and Hearst. She got into Hearst, so she moved into the Neptune house with Dick and Logan. I’m pretty sure she started sleeping with Logan immediately, but she insists that it took a couple of months.

Jax and Bobby had their meeting with the Mossad contact, and an agreement was reached. Mossad reached out to the IRA and offered them an alternative pipeline to replace the Sons and the IRA jumped at it. The Sons had a minor issue with Jimmy, but it seemed to be handled quickly.

After I got shot, we instituted a strict ‘no club business at home’ rule, so I only get club updates when I’m at the shop or out for a ride with Jax or Ope. It’s working well for us, allowing us to stay focused on the kids more.

I’m lying on the couch with Eli watching a movie while the kids play on the floor in front of us when Lyla walks in.  
“Hey, Ronnie. You ready to go?”  
“Yup. My bag’s by the door.”

Ellie looks at me from where she’s playing with Dee and says:  
“Where are you going Mama?”  
“I’m going to a hotel for the night with Aunty La, Aunty Mac, and Aunty Trinity. We’ll be home tomorrow.”  
“Have fun, Mama.”  
“We will. You’ll be good for your Daddies, right?”  
“Yes ma’am.”  
“Good girl.”

I turn to kiss Eli and say:  
“I love you.”  
Before getting up and saying:  
“Alright. I want hugs.”  
All the kids hug me before Jax walks in and says:  
“You’re leaving? But Ope’s still out.”  
“We’re going to be late meeting the girls if we don’t go now. You’ll just have to give him a kiss for me.”  
“He’s gonna be pissed.”  
“I know. I’ll deal with that tomorrow.”  
He wraps his arms around me and kisses me before saying:  
“I love you. Have fun. Watch each other.”  
“I love you. And we always do.”  
“Are you going to the club?”  
“We are going to a club.”  
“Not going to tell me?”  
“No. Because the last time you were included in a girls’ night you derailed it.”  
I quickly kiss him again before leaving the house with Lyla. We get in her car and drive to Oakland. We get to the hotel after the other girls, but in time to go out for dinner before we come back to get changed to go to the club.

After a lovely dinner out with possibly too much wine, we go back to the room to get ready to go to the club. Once the car Laroy sends for us arrives, we’re all ready to go. Technically only Lyla is single, but we all dress like we’re on the prowl.

Mac is wearing this short dark green dress with complicated straps across her back. She has silver heels and her hair has recently been cut into this really cute, spiky pixie cut. 

Lyla is wearing a dark purple halter top and jeans so tight I could probably count hair follicles if I wanted. She’s wearing super high black heels that I’m pretty sure I recognize from my closet. Her long blonde hair is loose down her back in waves.

Trinity is wearing a kelly green, tight tank top dress. It’s exceptionally short, so she’s wearing matching Spanky pants (the kind that cheerleaders wear) underneath. She’s wearing ankle boots with a complicated array of buckles and her red hair is braided back in a series of chains and hoops.

I’m wearing a beaded silver white dress that shimmers when I move. It ends right at the bottom of my ass cheeks, so I’m also wearing Spanky pants for extra coverage. The dress has dark silver straps and is backless, draping down to just above my ass. I’m wearing silver strappy sandals and my dark blonde hair is curled and loose down my back.

When we get to the club, the bouncer lets us bypass the line and we walk right in. The girls head to the bar, and I walk over to Laroy’s table. He shifts as I approach him so I can sit on his lap, so I do and I kiss him on the cheek.  
“Hey Ronnie.”  
“Hey yourself.”  
“You’re not wearing very much in the way of clothing…actually, none of you are. You know your husband will be here tonight, right? I had to call him in for a meeting.”  
“Lucky me. You could hold your meeting not in the middle of the club.”  
“I could. But it’s so much fun to watch him control his jealous impulses. It’s just nice to see that he actually has some.”  
“You are a twisted individual, Laroy.”  
“Yup. Give me some love then go dance.”  
I shake my head and then turn to kiss him.   
“One of these days, one of the girls you’re dating is going to try to kill me.”  
“Doubtful. They all know you’re the Queen of SAMCRO and off limits.”  
“Technically, I’m off limits to you too…But that never stops you from trying.”  
“I’m not the only one.”  
“True.”  
I kiss him again and get up from the table. I walk over to the bar and get myself a drink before walking out to the dance floor and joining the girls as they dance.

I’m three or four drinks in an hour later when Jax and Bobby show up for their meeting with Laroy. I’m on the dance floor, dancing with Lyla and a random guy. Judging by the tattoos I’ve spotted as his hands roamed places they shouldn’t, he’s one of Laroy’s guys. He doesn’t seem to be taking the hint when I move his hands off of my and Lyla’s boobs and asses, so I put my mouth against Lyla’s ear and say:  
“Let’s go greet the newcomers.”  
She nods and we both step away from the handsy guy. We start to walk over to the table where Laroy and Jax are sitting, and handsy guy says:  
“That’s a VIP table, ladies.”  
I smile and say:  
“Thanks for the heads up.”

We keep walking towards the table. When we get to the table, Lyla sits with Bobby and I sit on Jax’s lap and kiss him.  
“Hi baby.”  
“Hey. You’re wearing very little clothing.”  
“Um…I’m at a club. This is how women dress at a club. Right, Laroy?”  
He nods and says:  
“It’s definitely how I prefer they dress.”  
Jax growls and says:  
“Laroy, man…Stop looking at my wife like you want to fuck her on the table in front of me.”  
“But I do.”  
“I get it man, I do, but we’ve talked about this. Also, school handsy over there.”

I nuzzle Jax’s neck and say:  
“Can you spare a couple of minutes and dance with your wife?”  
“I don’t dance.”  
I put my mouth against his ear and whisper:  
“Jackson, I’m a little drunk, and I would really like your body against mine and your hands on me…So your options are dancing with me or fucking me in the bathroom.”  
He groans and says:  
“You, little girl, are going to be the death of me.”  
“Yes, but you, you lucky, lucky son of a bitch, are going to enjoy every fucking second of it.”  
“I guess I’m dancing with you.”  
“Excellent.”

Jax looks at Laroy and says:  
“I need a couple of minutes, the queen wishes to dance.”  
“Hey, I get it man. I don’t dance either, but they drag me out there all the time. Especially Mac.”  
Jax looks at me and says:  
“Isn’t Mac dating Dick?”  
“What Dick doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

I stand up and pull Jax up with me. We walk out onto the dance floor and he presses his body against my back, wrapping one arm around my waist — pressing his hand into my stomach, while his other hand plays with the edge of my dress — his fingers lightly brushing on my upper thigh every time he moves. We move to the beat of the music and he puts his mouth against my ear as he says:  
“How the hell did I get so lucky?”  
“Right place, right time…And you are insanely hot.”  
“Is that all?”  
“Jackson, when you said ‘hi’ I forgot my dang name...I was so in love with you immediately...Are you feeling insecure?”  
“A little. Watching you dance always makes me feel this way. It reminds me how young and gorgeous you are, and reminds me that I’m ten years older than you and that you can do better.”  
“Guess home isn’t helping with that, is it?”  
“Ope and I are the ones who invited Eli to move in…To start having sex with you.”  
“Yeah…You were, and I love Eli…But I’m done, Jax. I’m not faking the affection, the snuggling on the couch and occasional kisses…But the sex isn’t natural anymore. I don’t want him. I only want you and Ope. Can we fix this? Get Eli to move out? Get Leo to move out? Like, honestly…I’m never going to have sex with him.”  
“You’ve been forcing yourself to have sex with him to keep him happy? Baby…Why didn’t you say anything?”  
“I’m pretty sure he’s figured it out. He hasn’t tried to have sex with me in a couple of weeks…So he’s either figured it out or he met a girl.”  
“We can talk to them tomorrow when you get home.”  
“Good. Can we give up this farce of dancing now and go in the bathroom so you can fuck me?”  
“God, yes.”

He leads me into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind us.   
“Take off those Spanky panty things. What are you wearing underneath?” “A thong.”  
“Good. Put the Spanky pants in your bag, you’re not putting them back on.”  
“If I don’t put them back on and then move the wrong way my ass cheeks will be showing.”  
“Yup. Guess you’d better not move the wrong way.”  
“And when I need to sit down?”  
“You can sit on my lap.”  
“And when you leave?”  
“Sit on Laroy’s lap.”  
“Hmmm.”

I follow his orders, then say:  
“Now what?”  
He undoes his belt and pants, pushing them and his boxers down. He grabs my waist and backs me up against the counter. He picks up one of my legs and wraps it around his waist. He pushes my thong to one side and slams into me. He’s rough with me the whole time, slamming me into the counter and digging his fingertips into my waist and thigh. I tangle one hand in his hair and slide my other hand up his back under his shirt, dragging my nails along his back. When he leans in and bites my neck, I come screaming his name. He follows me over the edge, groaning against my ear. 

He pulls out of me and puts my leg down. After he pulls his pants back up, I lean forward a bit and push my forehead into his before I say:  
“There is no reason for you to feel insecure. I love you, so much. I have loved you since five minutes after I first met you…That’s not going to change. And really, babe…How much I love you and how much I want you all the fucking time aside, you are this amazing guy…You are sweet and funny and smart, despite how frequently you say you aren’t. You are a great Dad…Seriously. One of the best I’ve ever seen. And it’s not just with ‘your’ kids, you seamlessly stepped into a father figure role with Ellie and Kenny after being Uncle for years. You are great with the club and you are a really good businessman…Even if I don’t always approve of the business or the partners. You are a badass and you’re not afraid to hurt someone if you have to. You have absolutely no reason at all to feel insecure. I am exceptionally smitten with you.”

He kisses me and then says:  
“I know this was supposed to be a girls’ night, but come home with me.”  
“I have a better idea. Let’s book another hotel room. You come to the hotel with me. We’ll just have a night to ourselves.”  
“Is that allowed?”  
“Pretty sure…I mean, you are my husband.”  
“Ope is going to be so pissed. First you left when he wasn’t home, now I’m staying with you here?”  
“Oh, don’t worry. I have an idea about that.”  
“Should I be worried?”  
“No. You’ll like it too.”

I kiss him and say:  
“Go do your meeting.”  
“Come with me.”  
“I need to get cleaned up…No Jax, I’m not going to go out there with your come dripping out of me. Don’t look at me like that. It’s a twisted way of marking your territory.”  
“You are no fun.”  
“I am so much fun you can’t actually handle it.”

He leaves the room and I relock the door and clean up before calling the hotel and booking another room. Then I call Opie.  
“Hi baby.”  
“Hi. I’m sorry I left while you were still gone earlier.”  
“It’s okay. Are you having fun?”  
“Yeah. We’re at Laroy’s club.”  
“Oh. So Jax is there.”  
“Yeah. I didn’t know he was going to be until Laroy told me when I got here. Are you okay?”  
“He’s staying out there with you tonight isn’t he? Taking the opportunity for alone time?”  
“Yeah, babe…He is.”  
“Good. He’s been feeling a little insecure lately.”  
“I am like…insanely in love with you…You know that, right?”  
“Yeah, Ronnie. I know.”  
“Ope…”  
“I’m okay, baby. I promise.”  
“Can you talk to Eli and Leo and make sure they’re both available to talk tomorrow afternoon?”  
“Yeah. What’s the talk about?”  
“I want them to move out.”  
“Well, that’s convenient, because Eli is. He met a girl in Neptune. Marcus is letting him out without consequences.”  
“Good. I’m happy for him. He should move on with his life.”  
“Marcus told him he can’t come back.”  
“Of course he did. It’s okay. I’m okay.”  
“Baby…Abuelita is going with him.”  
“Of course she is. We’ll talk tomorrow. Everything will be fine.”  
“Are you really okay?”  
“Yeah. I am. It was going to happen eventually.”  
“He’s one of the loves of your life.”  
“Yeah. He is. He always will be. But I can live without him. You’re not planning on leaving me are you?”  
“Hell no.”  
“Then I’m good, babe. I can survive anything else.”  
“God, I love you, Veronica.”  
“I love you, Opie. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”  
“Yeah. Bye babe.”

I hang up and send a message to Felix:  
‘You aren’t leaving me too, are you?’  
‘Hell no, V. You’re stuck with me.’  
‘And I’m eternally grateful for that. I’m pretty fucking fond of you Felix.’  
‘The feeling is mutual boss. Go dance. Have fun.’

I leave the room and walk over to Laroy’s table before curling up on Jax’s lap. He looks at me with concern and says:  
“What’s wrong, baby?”  
“Nothing. I was right. He met a girl. Marcus’s letting him out. He’s moving back to Neptune. Marcus told him he’s not allowed to come back…Abuelita is going with him.”  
“And Felix?”  
“Staying with us. Apparently I’m stuck with him for life.”  
“And you’re thrilled about that. You are fond of the idiot.”  
“Yeah I am.”  
“Did Eli tell you himself?”  
“No. Ope just told me. I’m sure Eli will, he’s probably just worried about my reaction.”  
“Can’t blame him for that.”  
“True.”  
“Go dance for a little bit, then we’ll go, babe.”  
“Okay.”

I kiss him and stand up to find the girls. As I’m walking onto the dance floor, arms wrap around me from behind and then a voice says:  
“Veronica Mars.”  
“Casey?!”  
“Sorry, I know you aren’t a Mars anymore…What is it now?”  
“Winston-Teller.”  
I turn around and smile at him.   
“What are you doing here?”  
“I go to Stanford. What are you doing here?”  
“The owner’s a friend.”  
“Want to dance?”  
“Well, if you want to keep talking to me without losing any body parts, probably…And you should probably loosen your grip a bit there, buddy. My husband has almost reached his limit for ‘time wife spends in the arms of a strange man’.”

He loosens his arms and steps back a bit, saying:  
“Noted. He’s the scary looking blonde right?”  
“That would be my Jax, yup.”  
“He is like…stupid hot.”  
“Yeah, he is.”

I take his hand and start walking over to the table.  
“I’ll introduce you. He’s less likely to try to kill you if he knows who you are.”  
“I don’t know if that’s reassuring, Ronnie.”  
I laugh and say:  
“Don’t be a chicken, Casey.”

We get to the table, and I bend to whisper in Jax’s ear:  
“No business anywhere near him. I haven’t done a background check and it’s suspicious that he’s shown up now.”

I step over to Laroy and whisper the same thing. I sign it to Bobby because we both know ASL.

“Everyone, this is Casey. I’ve known him since I was…What, Case? Like five?”  
“I think so, yeah.”  
“Well, Casey this is…well, not everyone, but the guys that are here right now. My girls are off getting into trouble, I’m sure. This is Jax, Bobby, and Laroy.”

At that moment, the girls appear. They all sit down at the table, Mac sitting on Laroy’s lap, and Trinity and Lyla sitting on either side of Bobby. I point to the girls and say:  
“My best friend Lyla, my sister-in-law Trinity, and let’s be honest, basically my sister Mac.”  
Casey says:  
“Hey, you went to Neptune High.’  
Mac says:  
“That I did, Casey Gant. That I did.”  
“Aren’t you dating Dick Casablancas?”  
“Yes. But Dick isn’t here, and Laroy is. Besides, Veronica is married to two guys…She’s set precedent.”  
“Don’t use me as an example of how to live life, Mac. Bad fucking mojo. Also, are you ladies getting tired? Because I’m exhausted.”

Trinity coughs and says:  
“It might be because of that rough sex you and my brother had in the bathroom. Your back is bruised.”  
“Thanks for pointing that out, Trin. I appreciate it.”  
“You’re welcome. Oh, V…Your phone is ringing.”

I pick it up and it’s Eli.  
“I should answer this. I’m just going to go outside.”

I answer the phone as I walk out of the club:  
“Hey.”  
“Opie told you.”  
“Yeah, he did.”  
“I don’t want to leave you, V. I love you. You are the love of my life…But, I really like this girl, and she loves me…Just me, and she wants to get married at some point and have kids…”  
“Eli…It’s okay. You should move on with your life. I have loved you since I was seven years old, and that’s not going to change just because you leave. And I know Marcus said you can’t come back, but you are Uncle Eli. You are welcome in my house anytime. I will deal with Marcus.”  
“Abuelita is coming with me.”  
“I know. It makes sense, love. She’s getting too old to be chasing the kids around all the time. She’s tired and deserves a rest. Will you let me buy you guys a house?”  
“Yes. Just something on our side of town, V. I don’t want to be in the 09er neighbourhood.”  
“Find something, I’ll pay for it. Will you be at the house when I get home tomorrow so I can say goodbye to you in person?”  
“We’re already gone, baby. We thought it would be easier if we didn’t see you. Abuelita and I weren’t sure we could leave if you cried.”  
“Fair. I love you, Eli. I love Abuelita. Give her a kiss for me, okay? And Eli?”  
“Yeah, V?”  
“Be happy.”  
“You too, V. I love you.”  
I hang up and walk back into the club and curl up on Jax’s lap.  
“They’ve already left. They didn’t think they could leave if I started to cry.”


	26. Continuation of Club Scene

A girl walks up to the table and says:  
“Veronica?”  
I look at her, trying to place her, figuring out that she’s Eli’s sister before saying:  
“Claudia?”  
“Yeah. That’s me. He gave this to me for you. He says that you know what you have to do and it’s okay. He loves you.”  
She hands me an envelope and walks away. The outside of the envelope just says: ‘V’. When I open it, there’s a letter inside, along with Eli’s gold crucifix. The letter says:  
“Veronica…I’m writing this while sitting in Raven’s stall. It’s the only place at the house that doesn’t have video surveillance, due to Raven’s anxiety. The ATF planted bugs, audio and visual, all over the grounds when they did their search. I warned Ope already, he knows not to talk business, and to check the clubhouse and other houses for bugs. I didn’t meet a girl. Stahl threatened Abuelita and my cousins. I haven’t given my actual witness statement yet, everything I’ve told them has been verbal. You can still stop this. Call CW. You know what you have to do, baby. It’s okay. Stahl will never stop coming after my family as long as she considers me a viable witness. You have to kill me and Abuelita — she’s too old to go into hiding and she won’t be able to come home again. The phones aren’t tapped. I checked yours while you napped earlier. Felix should be following us when we leave, so he should have a location for you by the time Claudia drops this off. I love you, V. It’s okay. —Eli.”

I start to cry and hand the note to Jax. He quickly reads it and says:  
“Shit. That fucking bitch.”

I pick up my phone and I call Felix.  
“Hey, V.”  
“Did you follow them?”  
“Yes. I gave the location to Clarence five minutes ago.”  
“Okay. Get out of there. Go home Felix. Sweep the house and grounds for bugs.”  
“Yes ma’am…Hey, V?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Don’t cry. It’s okay.”  
“I’ll see you when I get home, Felix.”  
I hang up and call Clarence.  
“Veronica.”  
“You have a location from Felix?”  
“Yes.”  
“Do what you do, CW. Make it quick. Please.”  
“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll call you when it’s done.”  
I hang up and press my face into Jax’s neck. I feel him take Eli’s crucifix out of my hands before he says:  
“Sit up sweetheart.”  
When I sit up, he puts the chain around my neck and does up the clasp. I put my hand to it before kissing Jax’s cheek.  
“Laroy…Can I talk to you in private for a minute?”  
“Yeah.”

We both get up from the table and he leads me into his office upstairs. After he closes the door he says:  
“What the hell is happening?”  
“Hang on one second. I’ll call Marcus. I may as well explain to both of you at once.”

I dial Marcus’s number on the office phone. When he answers I say:  
“Marcus. It’s V. Are you alone?”  
“No.”  
“Then don’t react or respond in more than yes or no. Okay?”  
“Yes.”  
“I’m here with Laroy. I needed to fill you guys in. Stahl turned Eli. She threatened Abuelita and Eli’s cousins. Apparently my property has been bugged since the ATF searched it six months ago. Thankfully, we don’t talk about anything club related at home since Gemma shot me. Eli figured out that Raven’s stall wasn’t bugged because when they went in to install the bug, Raven freaked out and the agent was worried about his safety. Eli wrote me a note and sent it to me with his sister. He told me that everything he’s given them has been verbal and he hasn’t done his official witness statement yet.”

Laroy says:  
“He told you to kill him.”  
“Yeah. He did. It’s being taken care of. You both need to examine your ranks for anyone else Stahl could or would go after. I have a feeling the only reason she went after Eli is that he lived with us. She thought he knew things that he doesn’t. But it’s better to be safe than have to go through this again.”

Marcus says:  
“Are you okay?”  
“No. But I will be once I get my hands on that bitch.”  
“Hug her for me, Laroy.”  
Laroy nods and says:  
“Will do.”  
I hang up and wrap my arms around Laroy’s waist. He kisses the top of my head before he says:  
“She’s going to die a slow, painful death because of this, isn’t she?”  
“For making it so I have to kill one of the loves of my life? Fuck yes she is.”

My phone rings in my hand so I answer it.  
“CW?”  
“It’s done, my sweet girl. I reminded him how much you love him, and gave him a picture of you and the kids to look at.”  
“And Abuelita?”  
“She went first. She never realized what was happening.”  
“Thank you, CW.”  
“V…He said there’s a box in the closet in the gym. Photo albums and videos he made for you and the kids. Letters he wrote the kids. He says there’s one for each of them for each birthday between now and age twenty-one, along with graduation, wedding day…etc. He knew he was going to have to make you do this.”  
“Thank you, CW.”  
“I also got you a present while I was here. It’s been stripped and cleaned and now it’s in the trunk. I’m going to take it to the bunker.”  
“Oh, CW. It’s not even my birthday. I’ll be home in a bit.”  
“Alright. I’ll wait in the bunker.”  
“Sounds good. Thanks.”  
I hang up and look at Laroy before saying:  
“I have to go home. CW got me a present while he was out.”  
“Are you sure you want to do this, baby? There is a difference between shooting someone in the head and torturing them to death.”  
“Yup. There is.”

I walk out of the office and back to Jax.   
“We have to go home. CW got me a present.”  
“And it’s not even your birthday.”

I look at Casey and say:  
“How long have you worked for the ATF?”  
“How did you know?”  
“You didn’t ask why I was crying. You didn’t react at all. You’re new. New people always react.”  
“Shit. Almost a year.”  
“And how long ago did Stahl figure out that you knew me?”  
“Seven months.”  
“This is unfortunate, Casey. I always liked you.”

I turn to Jax and say:  
“Did you bring your bikes or the van?”  
“The van.”  
“Excellent. He’s coming with us.”  
Bobby says:  
“Club business sweetheart. Thought you stepped back.”  
“She made it personal when she went after Eli. When she made it so I had to kill two people I love, she made it personal. CW just had to put bullets in Abuelita and Eli.”  
“What are you going to do?”  
“Make her suffer.”  
“Let Tig or Happy do it. That shit is hard on your soul.”  
“I think they’re both fucked up enough, Bobby…Besides, what soul?”

I look at Laroy and say:  
“Can you make sure the girls get back to the hotel?”  
“Yup.”  
I hand my credit card to Mac and say:  
“I know you have ID that matches that. Pay for the rooms, okay?”  
“Okay.”  
Mac stands up and wraps her arms around me before saying:  
“I’d really like to help you with her.”  
“Hell no. What you can do is help Clarence. We need detailed backgrounds on everyone even remotely connected to the Sons, Mayans, One-Niners, and the goddamn IRA…Because this? This reeks like Jimmy O.”  
“You think he was working with the ATF?”  
“I think he was pissed he got cut out of the money. Check on Fiona and Kerryanne while you’re at it.”  
“Okay.”

I gesture at Casey and say:  
“Get up. Leave your phone on the table.”  
“Veronica…You don’t have to do this.”  
“You’re right. But I’m going to. Now, are you going to cooperate, or do I have to hurt you to get you to the van?”  
“I’ll cooperate.”  
“Good. Maybe I don’t have to kill you.”

The ride back home was relatively uneventful. When we got to the house, Jax pushed a button on a garage door opener and the ramp to the underground parking area opened next to the barn. As we parked, the ramp closed again. Casey says:  
“That’s why they didn’t find anything. You have an underground bunker.”  
“Yeah, Casey. I’m not stupid.”  
“This was your idea?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Holy shit…Veronica Mars, criminal mastermind.”  
“I am a private investigator and the daughter of a sheriff. I know how to keep things hidden.”  
“Did Eli know about this?”  
“No.”

We walk into the bunker and Clarence is sitting on the couch.  
“Where is she?”  
“Cuffed to one of the bunks in bunk room one. Who is this?”  
“ATF agent Stahl sent. Casey Gant. I’ve known him since I was five. I haven’t decided what to do with him yet. Can you strip him and search him then put him in a room for now?”  
Casey says:  
“Ronnie, that’s why I pressed up against you at the club. So you’d know I wasn’t wearing a wire.”  
“Clarence is still gonna check, Casey.”

I walk into bunk room one and say:  
“Hello Agent Stahl. Nice to see you again.”


	27. Continuation

“Veronica…Whatever you are planning on doing, you don’t have to do it.”  
“June, June, June…You made it so I had to kill the only consistent parental figure I’ve ever had in my life and the boy I’ve loved since I was seven. Any chance of this going any other way disappeared when you targeted Eli.”  
“There’s nothing I can do to convince you otherwise? I can tell you the names of every ATF agent in your life.”  
“June…You’re going to do that anyways.”  
“We’re trained to withstand torture.”  
“Yup…But not slowly dying. I have no interest in or intention of keeping you alive.”  
I shrug and leave the room, closing the door behind me. I can hear her yelling from the other side:  
“Veronica! Come back!”  
I open the door and say:  
“Yes?”  
“Casey Gant.”  
“Yeah. Got that one already. Anything else?”  
“Yeah. Yes. Laroy’s number two is an agent. And we have a mutually beneficial relationship with Damon Pope. August Marks is unaware of it.”  
“Good job, June. You might come in handy yet."  
As I walk towards the door, Stahl says:  
“Why did you kill them? They could have run.”  
“You would have hunted them down or hurt his cousins like you threatened to. He told me to kill them.”  
“You did what you were told? That seems unlike you.”  
“I listen to the people I love when they give me orders that make sense. Eli was right.”  
“I didn’t expect you to kill him. I thought targeting one of the men you loved would ensure a living witness.”  
“Well, it sucks to be wrong, doesn’t it?”  
“Yes. But I expect it sucks worse for you right now.”  
“You have no fucking idea.”

I walk out of the room and lock the door behind me. When I walk back out to the main room Opie, Tig, Kozik, Chibs, Happy, and Piney have joined Jax, Bobby, and Clarence. I look at Clarence and say:  
“Laroy’s second in command is ATF. Also, Damon Pope has a ‘mutually beneficial relationship’ with them. Apparently August Marks doesn’t know anything about it. Can you confirm that for me? I have Mac starting on backgrounds on everyone already, but if you could give her a hand, I’d appreciate it.”  
“Veronica…Let me take care of Stahl. I’ll get all the information without the emotional toll it’s going to take on you.”  
“No. When that bitch takes her last breath, it’s going to be my face she sees. Where did you put Casey?”  
“Bunk room six. He was clean. I gave him his clothes back.”  
“Thank you.”  
“I’ll come back tomorrow. By the way, we’ve swept the whole property. It’s clean now.”  
“Thank you.”

He leaves and I look at everyone else. They are all looking at me expectantly, so I say:  
“There isn’t anything to do tonight. I think someone should be down here at all times though, and it has to be one of us. Someone who isn’t drunk should take the first shift. Decide amongst yourselves. I need to go talk to Casey.”

I leave the room in the direction of the room Casey is in and I can feel Opie following me.  
“Ope…If you touch me right now I’m going to break down, and I can’t yet. Apparently there is a box in the closet in the gym. It’s full of videos and photo albums that Eli put together for the kids and I. Can you grab it? I’ll meet you in our room after I talk to Casey.”  
“Okay, baby.”

I walk into the room where Casey is and find him lying on the bed. I sit next to him and say:  
“Why were you at the club if you didn’t have a wire?”  
“Like I said, Stahl realized about seven months ago that I knew you, but I was on assignment elsewhere. I was only assigned to your case yesterday. I came to the club to warn you.”  
“Why?”  
“Stahl’s got a hard-on for you. She wants the IRA, but she will take down the Sons with them. And she really, really hates you in particular.”  
“So what were you coming to warn me about?”  
“The fact that she turned Eli. I didn’t realize she was taking him in tonight. I’m sorry. I would have tried earlier today if I had known.”  
“But why warn me at all?”  
“Because I’ve known you since you were five. And Stahl is a bitch.”  
“You know I have to keep you down here until I’m sure I can trust you, yeah?”  
“I know. It’s a nice room. Even has tv.”  
“Are you hungry? I can go make you something.”  
“I’m okay, Ronnie. But…”  
“But what?”  
“Who has my phone?”  
“Mac.”  
“There’s a file on it. I took pictures of everything Stahl has on you. Every agent in your life, every person who has a relationship with the ATF.”  
“Anyone I’m going to be horribly disappointed by?”  
“Yeah…Jake Kane.”  
“What?”  
“He made a deal with Stahl ages ago. My guess is that’s why he cut you out. He was trying to protect you. Stahl figured it out though. Earlier today she threatened to expose his illegal business dealings if he didn’t reach out to you.”   
“I guess I need to call my Dad. Thanks Case.”  
“Get my phone from Mac. There’s no tracker in it or anything, but there’s a ton of information you should have.”  
“Okay.”

I stand up to leave and when I get to the door I say:  
“I’ll be back in the morning with some clothes for you and breakfast. In the meantime, someone will be down here with you, so if you need something, holler for them.”

I leave the room and lock the door behind me. When I turn around, I come face to face with Tig.   
“Are you on guard duty?”  
“Yup.”  
“Is everyone else gone?” “I think they all went up to the house. Are you alright, sweetheart?”  
“No, Alexander…I’m not. We were supposed to have changed enough things that we didn’t lose people because of this bitch. I mean…Clay’s dead, Gemma’s dead, Jax knows everything, we knew Stahl was coming…She shouldn’t have been able to get to any of us.”  
He wraps his arms around my waist and I wrap mine around his neck as he pulls me closer to him.  
“What can I do, Veronica?”  
“Nothing right now. Stay away from Stahl. Don’t trust Casey…Okay?”  
“Okay. Can I kiss you?”  
“Yeah.”

He kisses me, and I deepen the kiss as he runs his hands down over my ass and picks me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and he pulls away from my mouth long enough to say:  
“This dress…Jesus Christ. You could kill a man while wearing this dress. It barely covers you.”  
“You love this dress. Don’t try to say otherwise.”  
“I don’t love that you wore it in public.”  
“Good thing you don’t get a say, huh old man?”  
“You’re younger than my kids, you shouldn’t be wearing clothes like this in public.”  
“I’m younger than your kids, you shouldn’t want to fuck me as much as you do.”  
“Valid point. Go in the house kiddo. Fuck your husbands. Or Leo. Someone more age appropriate.”

From inside Casey’s room we hear:  
“I volunteer as tribute!”  
I start laughing and say:  
“Shut up, Casey.”  
“But the old man is right. That dress could kill a man.”  
“You have hands, Case. Use them.”

To Tig I say:  
“That was my plan anyways. I was teasing you about wanting to fuck me, not suggesting that I was going to fuck you.”  
“I know…You never fuck me.”  
“Sorry, Tiggy…But I was clear from the beginning that I never was going to.”  
“I know. But a man can dream.”  
I shake my head at him and kiss him again before saying:  
“Put me down, Alexander.”  
“Yes, my queen.”  
He puts me down and I kiss his cheek before walking away. 

I walk down the long hallway, bypassing the parking garage and walking up the stairs at the end, coming out of a hidden door in the gym. When I get upstairs, everyone is in the living room. Jax walks over to me and whispers in my ear:  
“They’re all about to leave. I know as soon as Ope or I touches you, you’re going to start crying…But I know you need to think about something else before breaking down. Go fuck Leo.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes.”  
“Thank you. Can you call Mac and get her to bring Casey’s phone tomorrow? Apparently he took pictures of the entire case file. He was at the club to warn me about Eli.”  
“He’s still locked up right?”  
“Of course. I told him he’s there until I’m sure I can trust him. He’s fine with it.”  
“Okay. Go. We’ll meet you in the bedroom after.”

I turn and walk up the stairs. When I open the door of Leo’s room and find him lying on the bed watching tv, I walk in and close the door behind me.  
“You know this door locks, right?”  
“You know I have no interest in keeping you out of my room, right? I’m so sorry about Eli, Veronica.”

I pull my dress off and step out of my shoes and panties before walking over to the bed and straddling him.  
“Make me think about something else, Leo…Please.”  
“Are you sure?” “Yes. Please, Leo.”  
“Veronica…”  
“Leo, I should never have promised Lyla I wouldn’t have sex with you. I love you, you are one of the loves of my life. You are not a replacement for Eli. We should have been together all this time, and I’m sorry we weren’t. I’m not just doing this because I lost him.”  
“Thank god. I love you, Veronica.”

He runs his fingers over my scar from being shot and says:  
“I was so scared I was going to lose you that day. I felt it when you stopped breathing, and I thought you were gone…But then Trinity just pushed my hands down harder, and she started praying, and Opie started begging you to fight, and suddenly you were breathing again. I’ve never been so grateful for anything in my life.”

I lean down and kiss him and he tangles his hand in my hair as he holds me to him. I deepen the kiss, and he flips us so he’s above me. He kisses down my body, paying attention to my nipples and my scar before settling between my legs.   
“Veronica…Do your husbands know you’re in here?”  
“Jax told me to fuck you. I mean, I was planning on it anyways, but it’s nice when he can think something is his idea.”  
“Good. Then I’m going to eat you out and you’re going to scream for me.”  
“Please, Leo…”

He lowers his mouth to me, licking along me, dipping into my entrance before focusing on my clit. He uses so much pressure, I’m whimpering and gasping immediately as I feel my orgasm start to build. When I come, I scream his name and I feel tears on my face. 

He climbs back up me and kisses me before saying:  
“Good tears or bad tears?”  
“Good. Fuck me, Leo. Please.”  
I wrap my legs around him and he slides into me as I kiss him. We both moan when he bottoms out and he says:  
“Goddamn, Veronica.”

I kiss him again as he starts to thrust into me, I match him thrust for thrust as he lifts my legs on to his shoulders. I run my nails down his arms and he groans before saying:  
“Baby…I’m not going to last long if you do that…Actually, I’m probably not going to last long as it is, it’s been a while and you feel so good.”

He reaches down and starts rubbing my clit as he speeds up his thrusts. I moan his name and then come with a whimper. He follows me over the edge and says:  
“You were definitely worth the wait.”  
“Of course I was. I’m spectacular.”  
“And so modest.”  
“Modesty is overrated. For the record, you were worth the wait too.”  
I kiss him again and say:  
“I need to go…they’re waiting for me.”  
“When do I rate a full night with you?”  
“You rate that now…just not tonight. I love you Leo, but I need them tonight.”  
“I get that. I know how much you loved him.”  
He kisses me and moves off of me. I get up, pick up my clothes, and walk out of the room, closing the door behind me. 

When I walk into my room, Jax and Opie are both sitting on the bed waiting for me.  
“I just need to shower. I’ll be right back.”

I grab pyjamas out of the drawer and walk into the bathroom before quickly showering and getting dressed. Once I’m dressed I walk back into the bedroom and climb onto the bed between them. I rest my head on Opie’s chest and he and Jax both wrap themselves around me. Once I’m secure in their arms I start to cry. They don’t bother trying to get me to calm down or stop crying, they just hold me and tell me that they love me. I fall asleep shortly after lying down.


	28. Three months later

When I wake up in the morning, it’s to the feeling of a mouth on me, licking at my clit. I can tell by the beard and the technique that it’s Opie, so I shift and spread my legs wider to give him easier access. I start moaning as he increases the pressure he’s using, and I say:  
“Ope…That feels so good, don’t stop.”  
So he doesn’t. He eats me out for a long time until Jax walks in and says:  
“You said you were going to wake her up an hour ago.”  
“He did.”  
“He’s been eating you out for an hour?”  
“Yes.”  
“Is your tongue tired, Ope?”  
Opie grazes his teeth over my extremely sensitive clit and I scream as he pulls away from me.  
“Nope. Not tired at all. She told me not to stop, so I didn’t.”  
“Best wake-up call in ages.”

Jax shakes his head and says:  
“I feel very left out, and if people weren’t waiting for the queen in the bunker I’d be joining in.”  
“Where are the kids?”  
“With Olivia.”  
“How is she working out, by the way? I haven’t really had time to interact with her.”  
“Most of the kids love her. Ellie doesn’t love anyone but Tristen at the moment. Like her Mama, she’s a bit angry and scary right now.”  
“She loved him…A lot. He was the first person she bonded with in Neptune. To lose him so soon after losing Donna and Gemma, and at the same time as Abuelita…it’s been tough on her.”

I get out of bed and quickly shower and dress before saying:  
“Who is in the bunker?”  
“The guys wanted to talk to Casey and they wanted you there.”  
“Oh. Okay.”  
We leave the room and head downstairs to the tunnel to the bunker. As we get closer to the main room of the bunker I hear Ellie laughing…A sound I haven’t heard in months. When I turn the corner and I can see into the room, suddenly I can’t breathe. 

—————Two weeks after the club—————

After finally agreeing to allow Clarence to question Stahl, we determined that she can’t give us any more information than Casey has already provided, so Clarence brings her out of the bunker, into the underground garage. She thinks we’re letting her go, which, of course we can’t do. He puts her on her knees in front of me and she starts crying…Begging me not to kill her.  
“June…Begging will accomplish nothing. I can’t let you go. It’s unfortunate, I know, but a bullet through the brain is actually one of the faster ways to die.”  
I shoot her in the forehead and Clarence disposes of her body.

—————One month after the club—————

We trust Casey enough to allow him supervised time on his phone and computer. Since he’s supposed to be an undercover agent, it’s easy for him to act like he’s still working on the case. He plays along masterfully, and has become friends with most of the guys. 

We’ve gone through two nannies at this point, Ellie and Kenny are not being cooperative. I still won’t let our cleaning staff touch Eli’s room or Abuelita’s apartment.

—————Two months after the club—————

Casey has reported to his superiors that Stahl vanished after a meeting with Damon Pope. He’s also provided plenty of evidence that shows there is no way the Sons are running guns, and that they have no connection to the IRA.

August Marks happily backs up our story about Pope and takes over his businesses.

After two months of trying to get ahold of Jake or Celeste, I finally get a call from Jake. He’s crying and saying he’s sorry and I can hear Faith crying in the background.  
“I’m sorry, Veronica.”  
“Sorry for what, Daddy?”  
“I can’t go to prison.”  
“Daddy…You aren’t going to go to prison…Daddy!”

There’s a gunshot and then silence.  
“Daddy!”  
I hear Faith crying in the background. I turn to Opie and say:  
“Call Logan and Dick. They need to go to Jake’s right now. I think he killed them all. I can hear Faith crying but no-one is going to her.”

I stay on the phone, listening to Faith. Suddenly I hear Lilly’s voice:  
“Shh…Little girl. Your Aunty Ronnie is sending Uncle Logan to get you. You’re going to be okay. Aunty Ronnie can hear you. Say hi.”  
I start crying harder than I already am when I hear Faith say:  
“Hi.”  
I hear Lilly whisper:  
“He killed them, Ronnie. Mom, Duncan, Meg, and himself. They’re all dead.”

I look at Opie and say:  
“Tell Logan to bring Faith to us. Meg would want her with us, not her abusive parents.”  
“You don’t think Meg’s alive?”  
“Lilly says Jake killed them all. The only one alive in that house is Faith.”

Over the phone I hear Logan and Dick exclaim:  
“Oh my god. Faith!”  
I hang up the phone and call Clarence.  
“Veronica?”  
“Jake killed Celeste, Duncan, Meg, and himself. I need you to find the will that I know Duncan and Meg have that says that I get custody of Faith.”  
“Easy. It’s on top of this stack on my desk. They just filed it with the lawyers a month ago.”  
“Great. Logan is going to bring her to me.”  
“Tell Logan and Dick to call the police. I will meet them at the house and assume temporary custody of Faith.”  
“Okay.”

I look at Opie and say:  
“Tell them to call the police. Clarence will meet them there and take temporary custody of Faith to bring her here.”

The next morning, Clarence shows up with Faith and we go from having five kids to having six. 

A week later we hire Olivia as the nanny, and she’s lasted the longest yet.

I’m still cleaning Eli’s room and Abuelita’s apartment myself. No-one else is allowed in.

—————Present Day—————

The sight I see when I turn the corner makes it so I can’t breathe. I know I’m crying, because Ellie says:  
“Mama, don’t cry.”

He stands up from the couch and walks across the room to me and I launch myself at him, burying my face in his neck.  
“You let me think you were dead. That I ordered your death.”  
“I know, baby…I’m so sorry.”

Opie says:  
“We needed to know what other ATF agents or assets were in play. If we had known about Casey we wouldn’t have done this.”  
Jax says:  
“We needed to know what Stahl knew and to get rid of her. We all made a choice. We knew you could handle it.”

Eli clarifies:  
“We hoped you could handle it.”  
“Who made this choice?”  
“Jax, Opie, Bobby, Marcus, Clarence, and I.”  
“Where is Abuelita?”  
“In the bedroom. For the record, she was very against this plan from the beginning.”  
“Why?”  
“She was afraid of the mental toll it would take on you.”  
“Well, it’s nice someone cares about my mental well-being.”

I step back from him and take off his crucifix and hand it to him before turning around and walking out of the bunker. I lock myself in my office and turn my music up loudly before sitting down to work on the cases I have ongoing right now. When I get to one that requires me to speak to Clarence, I turn down the music and call him.  
“Veronica, sweetheart.”  
“Don’t ‘sweetheart’ me. I’m pissed at you and would not be calling if I didn’t need to discuss a case.”  
“Veronica, we knew you could handle it.”  
“Handle it?! Is that what I’ve done? I’ve had to increase my therapy sessions from three a week to five a week. The dosages on my medications had to go up just so I could function and I had to start taking a new medication just so I could sleep. I haven’t handled shit, Clarence. You made me think I ordered the death of the man I love. You let me think that for three months. You’ve seen what it did to me. What it did to Ellie! You let Ellie lose him after losing her Mom!”  
“I’m sorry, Veronica.”  
“You can handle this case. I’ll email the information to you. I have no interest in speaking to you further. Effective immediately I am on vacation for two weeks.”  
“Do your husbands know this?”  
“Not yet.”

I hang up and email Clarence the case file before going online and booking two hotel rooms at Disneyland. I then call Mac and Lyla and invite them to come with the kids and I. They are both on board, so I tell Lyla to meet me at the house first thing in the morning, and tell Mac to meet us at the hotel for check-in at 3:00. 

I go upstairs and pack a bag for me before going into the nursery and packing a bag for the babies. I’m in Kenny and Abel’s room packing a bag for them when Jax walks up behind me.  
“What are you doing?”  
“Taking the kids on a trip. We’re leaving in the morning. We’ll be back in a week.”  
“You weren’t going to talk to us about it?”  
“Why? I didn’t think we did that around here.”  
I walk out of the room, adding the boys’ bag to the pile in the hallway before going into Ellie’s room to pack a bag for her. When I walk out of the room Jax, Opie, and Eli are all standing there.   
“The kids and I are going away for a week with Lyla and Mac.”  
Opie says:  
“You decided this on your own without talking to us?”  
“You guys really want to talk about people making decisions without talking to their spouses?”  
Jax says:  
“We thought you could handle it!”  
“This is me handling it. I’m taking my children away for a week because we have been through hell for the past three months.”  
“But babe...it wasn’t real.”  
“You all letting me believe that Eli was dead and that I had ordered his death fucking broke me. I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention, but I had to increase my therapy visits to five times a week. My dosages on my medications had to go up just so I could function like a normal person, and I had to get a prescription for sleeping pills because I wasn’t fucking sleeping. But that’s not the only pain the kids and I have dealt with in the past three months. I tortured Stahl before finally letting Clarence do it, and then I shot her in the head as she begged me not to. My Dad, Stepmom, brother, and sister-in-law are all dead. Faith’s parents are dead. Not everything is about you guys, and you’ve proven quite well that you don’t need me here. I mean, look at all you accomplished by leaving me in the dark. So I’m taking my kids to Disneyland for a week with their Aunties. They deserve a chance to be kids after the hell they’ve been through.”

I collect the bags from the pile and carry them down to the van, loading them in the trunk before checking the installation of all of the carseats so I don’t have to fight with them in the morning. I go back in the house and pack a diaper bag for the car ride before collecting outfits for all the kids and myself, along with pyjamas for me for tonight. I take everything into Leo’s room, putting it on his dresser. 

I head downstairs to go out to the barn, and on my way through the kitchen, Opie grabs my arm and pulls me to him.  
“Talk to me, Veronica. Yell at me. Cry. Don’t just shut down and leave.”  
“There’s nothing to say that I haven’t already said. And I don’t have a full range of emotions at the moment, so I can’t get angry or cry on fucking command. The dose of anti-depressants I’m on mutes…everything. Let me go.”

He lets me go and I walk out to the riding ring. I raise all the jumps to the notch higher than I know Raven and I can do comfortably before walking into the barn. I say hi to all the horses before grabbing Raven’s tack and my helmet. Once I have Raven tacked up I put a bunch of treats in my pocket, giving him one before I lead him out to the ring. I get on his back and lean forward, pressing my cheek into his neck before saying:  
“We’re going to try higher jumps today, okay Raven? I know you can do this baby. I’m right here with you.”

I feed him another treat and get properly settled in the saddle before nudging him with my heels and saying:  
“Let’s go baby.”

We get through the course fine on the first pass, a little slower than I’d like though, so we try it again. We’re halfway through the course, approaching the highest jump, when Jax walks to the edge of the ring yelling at me. It startles Raven and he suddenly stops instead of jumping. I fly over his head, over the jump, and land on my back seven feet in front of him.

Jax comes running in and I say:  
“Don’t fucking touch me. Go away. This is your fault. I’ve told you that you can’t make loud noises when I’m jumping Raven. It scares him.”  
“I didn’t think you would end up hurt.”  
“Yeah…You’re just lucky it’s just me that’s hurt. A broken leg can be a death sentence for a horse. Fuck off.”  
“Let me help you up.”  
“I don’t need your help.”


	29. Three months later -- part 2

I wait until he walks away before I try to stand up. My head really hurts, I think even with the helmet I hit it pretty hard. I stand up and everything hurts and things are spinning, but I think I’m mostly okay. I take my helmet off and see blood inside, my first clue that something’s actually wrong. I take two steps towards Raven, then everything goes black and I wake up in an ambulance. 

The paramedic says:  
“Good. You’re awake. Do you remember what happened?”  
“My horse threw me.”  
“Were you wearing a helmet?”  
“Yes. I took it off when I stood up. There was blood inside, then I must have fainted.”  
“When you stood up, did you experience any pain?”  
“Lots of it and everything was spinning.”  
“When he threw you, how far did you move before you hit the ground?”  
“I landed about seven feet in front of him.”  
He doesn’t say anything else, so I close my eyes because I am so tired all of a sudden.

When I wake up next, I’m in a hospital room and Lyla is sitting next to me.   
“You cracked your head open. How did that happen? Raven has never thrown you like that.”  
“Jax decided that while Raven and I were jumping was the perfect time for him to yell at me.”  
“So, no Disneyland.”  
“I think you guys and Trinity should still take the kids. They deserve some fun. If you think you guys can handle it.”  
“I think between the three of us we can handle three young kids and three toddlers.”  
“The kids all have bags packed in the van. There’s outfits for them for tomorrow and a diaper bag for the trip on Leo’s dresser.”  
“You were planning on hiding in his room tonight, huh?”  
“Yup.”  
“Okay. I will call Mac and Trin and we’ll take them.”  
“The reservation is under my name, but since both you and Mac have ID that shows my name and address, that shouldn’t be an issue. Grab my Amex out of my wallet when you go to the house. Pay for everything on that.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Okay. Tara says you can leave in a couple of hours. She just wants to keep an eye on you. Leo said he’d come get you, so just have Tara call him.”  
“Okay…Who called the ambulance?”  
“Casey. He found you, called the ambulance, then went back in the bunker before he was spotted.”  
“Jax and Ope?”  
“I don’t know baby. I haven’t seen them.”  
“Oh…Okay.”

I must fall asleep, because next thing I know, Lyla is gone and Leo is sitting in the chair next to me.  
“How’s your head baby?”  
“It hurts.”  
“Why did Raven throw you?”  
“Jax startled him.”  
“How?”  
“Yelled at me.”  
“Why?”  
“I didn’t respond well to the news that they lied to me about Eli and Abuelita being dead.”  
“Eli’s not dead?”  
“Nope.”  
“Assholes. Who knew?”  
“Opie, Jax, Bobby, Marcus, Clarence, and Eli came up with the plan.”  
“So basically, everyone you trust most.”  
“Yup.”

Tara walks in then and says:  
“You’re awake, good. How do you feel?”  
“My head hurts. A lot. And I’m really tired.”  
“So, you have a pretty impressive laceration on the back of your head, and a skull fracture. You have no swelling or bleeding of the brain though, so I feel comfortable sending you home.”  
“Any restrictions?”  
“Yeah, no horseback riding until I clear you, no running or other exercise, avoid blows to the head — which in your case means no sex, I’ve heard your head hit the wall plenty of times, no sleeping pills…Just take it easy, Ronnie. You’re going to be in a lot of pain and you’re going to sleep lots. At night, you cannot sleep alone, you must have someone there in case you stop breathing.”  
“Is that a huge concern?”  
“No…It’s only a slight possibility, but one I’d like to mitigate by having someone with you.”  
“And pain management?”  
“I will give you a prescription, but Leo has to dole it out due to your previous suicide attempts. You are not to take any other pain medication.”  
“Pot?”  
“Two joints a day, nothing more.”  
“Yes, ma’am. Can I go home now?”  
“Yes.”  
“Thanks, Doc.”  
“Move slow when you get up, love.”

She leaves and I get up out of bed. Everything starts spinning and I say:  
“Leo, love, you’re going to have to help me to the car. Everything is spinning.”  
He picks me up and I rest my head on his shoulder as he carries me through the hospital to his car. 

When we get home, he carries me up to his room and helps me change into the pyjamas that I left in there earlier, then he says:  
“Do you want to go down to the living room for a while? Maybe watch a movie with the kids?”  
“Yeah. Can you take me down and then get Felix to make sure Raven got put away and brushed? I’d ask you to do it, but Raven hates you.”  
“I don’t know why. I’ve never been anything but nice to the future glue stick.”  
“Leo!”  
“Sorry, babe.”

He carries me downstairs and says:  
“I’ll go find Felix.”  
“Can you also find me my phone?”  
“Yup. I’ll be right back.”

I lie down on the couch, and I must fall asleep while he’s gone, because when I wake up, he’s sitting at the other end of the couch under my feet, and Jax, Opie, and Eli are sitting in the room too. I look at Leo and say:  
“I told you to find Felix and my phone, not my asshole husbands and Eli.”  
“In my defence, I found Felix and your phone too.”  
“Is it time for a pain pill? My head hurts a lot.”  
“No. Not for a few hours.”  
“Then I either need a joint or to go to bed. Being awake hurts.”  
“Which would you prefer?”  
“Bed.”  
“Okay, babe.”

Before Leo can get out from under my feet, Opie stands up and moves to pick me up. I move away from him and say:  
“No. Leo.”  
“Veronica…baby, please let me take care of you.”  
“No. I don’t want to be near any of you right now, let alone have you touch me.”

Leo stands up and says:  
“I’ve got her, Ope.”  
He scoops me into his arms and carries me upstairs, laying me down on his bed before covering me with a blanket and leaving the room.

—————————  
Leo’s Perspective  
—————————

When I walk back into the living room, they’re all sitting there waiting for me. I sit down and say:  
“Why in the hell did you all think it was a good idea to lie to her for three months? And why didn’t you change course after she lost her last two parents and her brother and sister-in-law? Like, you had to notice how badly she was handling everything. I noticed and I’m not with her as much as you guys are.”

Jax says:  
“We thought she could handle it.”  
“Fine, at first…But why didn’t you change course when you realized she couldn’t?”  
“We didn’t realize she couldn’t. She seemed fine.”  
“Then you’re idiots. She hasn’t slept a full night without being medicated since before his ‘death’.”  
“How do you know that and we don’t? She’s been sleeping with us.”  
“She’s constantly downstairs or outside in the middle of the night. Working, watching TV, in the gym, or out with Raven. She lies in bed until you’re both asleep and then she’s up the rest of the night. Except when she’s medicated, and she only takes her sleeping pills when I make her. For obvious reasons, she doesn’t like the feeling of the sleeping pills making her fall asleep.”

They’re all quiet, so I continue:  
“She’s also not eating except when someone makes her. Please tell me you at least noticed that. Or the considerable amount of weight she’s lost in the last three months.”  
Jax says:  
“I didn’t notice.”  
I shake my head and say:  
“Why the hell are you married to her if you aren’t going to pay any attention to her? I bet if you call any of the guys they will tell you that she’s not sleeping or eating and she has lost a scary amount of weight. I’d bet if we brought Laroy over right now and he looked at her he could tell you that there’s something wrong.”

Before any of the guys can respond to what I just said Tig, Kozik, and Chibs walked into the house. Tig looks at Eli and says:  
“So it’s true. You’re still alive.”  
“I am.”  
“So you all lied to her for months…Jesus. Where is she?”  
“Sleeping. She was thrown from Raven this morning. She has a fractured skull.”  
“Raven has never thrown her before. What happened?”  
Jax says:  
“It was my fault. I yelled at her while they were jumping. Raven came to a quick stop instead of jumping and Ronnie flew over his head. Landed on her head about seven feet in front of him.”

Kozik says:  
“Why is she home instead of the hospital?”  
I say:  
“Tara sent her home. There’s no brain bleed or swelling. She says as long as Veronica takes it easy she’ll be fine.”  
“Did Tara mention the weight loss?”  
“Not to me, but Lyla was there first. Maybe Tara talked to her?”

Tig says:  
“The weight loss is because she’s not fucking eating. That’s why I’ve been here every goddamn day. To force her to eat at least a meal.”  
Chibs says:  
“That, and when she’s not sleeping she’s in the gym or out running. She’s been running an average of fifteen miles a day. She is not coping well.”  
Kozik says:  
“She says when she closes her eyes she sees Stahl begging for her life, or the day she took the knife to Stahl…she scared herself. She cut Stahl the same way Lee used to cut her.”  
Tig says:  
“She was in the bunker with Casey and I one afternoon. She managed to fall asleep watching a movie. She starting screaming for Duncan and Meg. She woke up crying. It took me an hour to get her to calm again.”

From the stairs I hear:  
“Stop talking about me like I’m a small child. I am a grown woman who is perfectly capable of taking care of myself. My husbands clearly think so, maybe the rest of you should take a page out of their books.”

We all anxiously watch as she walks slowly down the stairs, clinging to the bannister. Kozik says:  
“I thought you were sleeping, kiddo.”  
“Well, I can’t sleep, I’m in pain, and I’m hungry. So I’m going to go in the kitchen, smoke a joint, and make myself food. Is that alright with everyone, or do you need to discuss it for a while?”

As she’s walking towards the kitchen, Ellie comes running in and collides with her. They both end up on the floor, with Ellie in Veronica’s lap. At first I think Veronica is crying, but she’s laughing.   
“My crazy girl. What are you doing, running around like that?”  
“Olivia said we’re going to Disneyland tomorrow. Are we?”  
“Well, kind of? I can’t go anymore because I fell off of Raven earlier and I’m too hurt to go to Disneyland. But Aunty La is picking you guys up in the morning and then Aunty Mac and Aunty Trinity are meeting you guys there. You’re going to have so much fun. I’m jealous. I’ve never been to Disneyland.”  
“Never? But you’re old…Your Mommy and Daddy never took you?”  
“We could never afford it. By the time I realized that Grandpa Jake was my Dad, I had kids already.”  
“How do you know I’ll have fun if you’ve never been?”  
“Your Uncle Duncan and Aunt Lilly went when we were kids. I remember Aunt Lilly’s stories about how magical it was. And Uncle Logan has been there a bunch too.”  
“Maybe I should stay home and take care of you, Mama.”  
“While I appreciate the thought, take a look around. You see Dad, and Daddy, and Gramps, and all of your Uncles?”  
“Yes.”  
“They are here to take care of me while I’m hurt. You are going to go away with your siblings and your Aunties and have so much fun just being a kid for a little while, okay? Then, once I’m better, we’ll all go to Disneyland as a family and you can show me, Dad, and Daddy around, okay?”  
“Okay, Mama.”  
“So where are your brothers and sisters?”  
“With Olivia. She made lunch.”  
“So why aren’t you eating lunch?”  
“I was coming to get you. You don’t eat enough. You used to be soft to snuggle with and now I can feel all your bones.”  
“I know. I was actually just going to the kitchen to get something to eat. What did Olivia make? Is it good?”

I see Ellie’s nose scrunch up before she says:  
“Tuna casserole. I don’t like it.”  
Veronica gasps and says:  
“Tuna casserole is one of my favourites! How can you not like it?”  
Ellie makes a disgusted face and says:  
“I don’t like tuna.”  
“Oh…Well, that is an issue isn’t it?”  
“But I’ll eat if you’ll eat.”  
“Deal. Let’s go.”  
Ellie stands up and heads towards the dining room and Veronica holds a hand up and says:  
“I need help. I’m too dizzy to get off the floor.”

When Opie walks over to her to help her up, she wraps her arms around him and I can hear her whisper:  
“I’m still mad at you, but I don’t want to be.”  
“Well, that’s a start, at least. Where are your rings?”  
She pulls a chain out from under her shirt, and I see her wedding rings and engagement ring on it.  
“They’re too big. They fall off.”  
“How much weight have you lost?”  
“A lot. More than is healthy.”  
“Quantify it for me, babe.”  
“The day before I went to the club last I weighed 110 pounds. This morning I weighed 73 pounds.”  
“Jesus Christ.”  
“Tara says that I’m at risk for brittle bones…She thinks that’s why such a minor fall caused a fracture. Because my body doesn’t have the nutrients to sustain my bone density. She’s coming over later to discuss a meal plan and supplements to get my weight back up. In the meantime, I have orders to eat. So that’s what I’ll do.”

Ellie yells from the other room:  
“Mama, I’m not eating until you are!”  
Veronica shakes her head and says:  
“She’s a mini-Donna…So freaking bossy.”  
Opie laughs and says:  
“Yeah, except for the serious attitude problem she’s learned from you.”  
“Valid point.”  
Veronica steps away from him and walks out of the room.

——————————  
Veronica’s Perspective  
——————————

I walk into the dining room and sit next to Ellie before taking food. I take more than I think I need, because when I tried to just take a little both Ellie and Olivia raised their eyebrows at me. I end up eating it all and then taking a little more and eating that too.

Olivia says:  
“You should drink some milk, ma’am. It’s good for bone health.”  
“You’re right, but Olivia…Don’t call me ma’am, okay? Call me Veronica, or Ronnie, or V, or Ronica…Really any variation of my name.”  
“Okay, Veronica.”

I get up from the table and go into the kitchen to get myself some milk. While I’m in there, Abuelita walks in. I start crying and wrap my arms around her. She says:  
“Veronica…I don’t know whether to thank you for proving me right about their plan being disastrous for your mental health or to smack you for proving me right. How much weight did you lose?”  
“37 pounds.”  
“Oh, my sweet girl. What’s this bandage on your head?”  
“Raven threw me earlier. I was wearing my helmet but still ended up with a cut and a skull fracture.”  
“Have you eaten today?”  
“I just ate tuna casserole and had a glass of milk.”  
“Okay. What do you want for supper tonight? I’ll cook.”  
“Lasagna? With extra cheese?”  
“Ah…A Mars family staple. You are your father’s daughter. Can I talk you into a salad on the side at least?”  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
“Good. Then I’ll make apple crisp for dessert too.”  
“You’re too good to me, Abuelita.”  
“Maybe everyone else just isn’t good enough.”  
“Of course that’s your theory. It couldn’t be that you’re just freaking amazing.”  
“I’m just a grandmother, my love. It’s my job to take care of you.”  
“My head hurts, Abuelita.”  
“Of course it does. Go lie down sweetheart. Send that grandson of mine in here to help prep dinner.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

I walk out of the kitchen and into the living room. They’re all still sitting in there, so I say:  
“Eli, go help Abuelita prep dinner. Your presence has been requested.”  
“V, you and I both know that Abuelita doesn’t request, she demands.”  
“Of you, maybe…Me? She loves me more than that.”  
He sticks his tongue out at me and leaves the room.

I lie down on the couch with my head on Jax’s lap and as my eyes close, Tig says:  
“What is Letty making for dinner?”  
“Lasagna with extra cheese, salad, and apple crisp for dessert.”  
“Maybe I’ll go ask if I can stay for dinner…”  
“You can always stay for dinner, Tig. Just be quiet now so I can sleep for the next bit until I can have another pain pill.”

Jax strokes my hair and quietly says:  
“Aren’t you mad at me?”  
“Yes.”  
“So, why are you using me as a pillow instead of Leo?”  
“Habit, I suppose. I’m going upstairs.”  
I get up and slowly make my way up the stairs and into my room. When I climb into bed I make sure I’m in the middle because I have a feeling I won’t be alone for long.

When I wake up a little while later, I realize that I was right, I’m not alone in the bed, but the people sleeping next to me are not who I expected. I have Ellie curled into one side of me, Kenny on the other side of me, and Abel is sprawled on top of me. I look at them and whisper:  
“Oh, my sweet babies.”

Olivia walks in then and says:  
“I’m sorry, Veronica. I told them to lie down for a nap while I got the little ones ready for their nap and I lost track of them.”  
“It’s alright, Olivia. I’m just not sure how comfortable Abel could possibly be with my ribs stabbing into him.”  
“Do you want me to move him to his bed?”  
“Maybe all of them?”  
Ellie’s fingers tighten on me and she whimpers:  
“No, Mommy. Don’t send me away.”  
My eyes fill with tears and I look at Olivia and say:  
“Maybe just the boys.”  
Olivia nods and picks up the boys before leaving the room. I roll over so I’m facing Ellie and run my fingers over her hair and the side of her face.   
“It’s okay, Ellie-girl. You’re alright. Mama’s got you.”  
Ellie opens her eyes and says:  
“You don’t feel like you anymore…But you still smell like you, Mommy.”  
“Oh? And how do I smell?”  
“Like coconut cookies and marshmallows.”  
“Why are you calling me Mommy all of a sudden, sweetheart?”  
“Because you’re my Mommy. You’re not pretending. Grandma said you would just be pretending…But you aren’t.”  
“Ellie, I love you and your siblings more than anything or anyone in this world. I will always do my best to put you first and protect you from the craziness that seems to follow us around.”  
“The craziness is Dad’s fault, isn’t it?”  
“Why do you say that sweetheart?”  
“Mommy…my first Mommy…she used to say that Uncle Jax…Dad was the one who always dragged Daddy into trouble.”  
“I think your Mommy just didn’t want to admit that Daddy likes the trouble just as much as Dad does. But they aren’t the reason our lives get crazy sometimes…Sometimes life is just crazy, and messy. It’s like that for everyone.”  
“Tristen’s life isn’t crazy.”  
“Well, then Tristen is special and very lucky. My life was frequently crazy before I met your Dad or your Daddy.”  
“Maybe people with crazy lives are drawn to each other…Like magnets.”  
“Maybe. That would explain a lot, wouldn’t it?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Should we tell Daddy and Dad they can come in now? I can practically feel them hovering in the hallway.”  
“Do I get to keep cuddling with you?”  
“Uh…Yeah. Of course!”  
“Fine. They can come in.”

I raise my voice and say:  
“You heard the princess.”

Jax and Opie walk in and climb onto the bed with us. Jax curling around me and Opie curling around Ellie. Jax whispers in my ear:  
“I’m so sorry, Veronica.”  
“For what?”  
“For lying to you, for not noticing how much you were hurting, for not taking care of you, for spooking Raven, and for leaving you lying there.”  
“In regards to lying to me, you were doing what you thought was best. As for leaving me lying there after my fall? I told you to go away. The others, I have no explanation for, so…”  
“I’m sorry, baby.”  
“Come here. I want to look at you.”

He props himself up on one elbow so I can see his face and I put my hand on his cheek before I say:  
“I love you.”  
I pull his face to me and kiss him before turning back to Ellie. Once I’m facing that direction again I run my fingers through Opie’s beard and twist the ends of his hair around my fingertips. Over Ellie’s head, I say:  
“I love you.”


	30. Summer Carnival

At the end of June, Charming holds a Summer Carnival that this year includes a circus. None of the kids wanted to go, so Jax, Opie, and I decide to go as a date night. While we’re there we run into Elliott, Karen, and Tristen. We talk for a minute and Jax gives Tristen one of the bears the guys have won for me and the kids. When we leave them, she has a huge grin on her face — I’m familiar with this grin, it’s the same one I had on my face when I first met Jax when I was not much older than Tristen is now.

As we’re leaving a couple of hours later, Elliott comes up to us, frantic.  
“Have you seen Tristen?”  
“No. When did you see her last?”  
“She didn’t want to go on the coaster. She was supposed to wait for us, but we can’t find her.”  
“We’ll help you look.”

We all split up, yelling Tristen’s name. About twenty minutes after we split up I hear Jax yell:  
“I found her!”  
I run in the direction of his voice and he’s carrying Tristen. She’s bleeding, crying, and clinging to Jax. I approach them and gently run my hand along Tristen’s hair and quietly say:  
“Tristen? Sweetheart? What happened?”  
“Ronnie…he…”  
“Who, baby?”  
“The clown.”  
“I need you to say the words, Tristen. It’ll help you, I promise.”

She looks me in the eye and I see the steel form as she gets stronger than any little girl should ever have to be.  
“He raped me.”  
“Do you want him to go to prison or do you want him dead?”

Elliott says:  
“Veronica! She’s a child. She shouldn’t have to make that choice.”  
“I was a child too, Elliott. Trust me. If someone had asked me that day, I would have had an answer. For both of the monsters.”

I look back at Tristen and say:  
“Tristen? It’s your call sweetheart.”  
“I want him dead.”  
“The fat clown?”  
“The fat clown.”  
“Okay.”

I look at Elliott and say:  
“Take Tristen to the hospital. Get Tara to look after her.”  
“She seems fine.”  
“Elliott, you are smarter than that. She needs an examination, tests for STIs, and medications. Take her to the hospital.”

Elliott takes Tristen out of Jax’s arms and Tristen says:  
“Can we go to your house after the hospital? I’d feel safer with the guards, Eli, and Leo there.”  
“Of course, my love.”  
“Thank you.”

They walk away and Jax says:  
“What’s the plan, baby?”  
“The plan is we use the fact that I’m a cute teenage girl who looks younger than my age and easy to overpower.”  
“So we’re using you as bait?”  
“Yes, dear.”  
I take my wedding rings and engagement ring off and put them in Opie’s pocket.  
“Hold those for me, love.”  
“I don’t like this.”  
“I know.”  
I pull two hairties out of my pocket and put my hair in two ponytails at the base of my skull, right behind my ears. Then I take one of the teddy bears that Jax won and say:  
“Follow me, boys. From a distance of course…And do your best to look creepy.”

I walk over to the carnival worker area, occasionally looking over my shoulder in a panicked kind of way. When I get over there, I approach the fat clown and turn on the waterworks.  
“Excuse me? Can you help me?”  
“What’s wrong girl?”  
“I got separated from my parents and all turned around. There’s these guys back there, I was flirting with them earlier, but now they’re following me and I’m worried that they’re going to try to hurt me. Can you walk with me back to the parking lot?”  
“Yeah…I can help you out. There’s a shortcut back to the parking lot this way.”

He puts his arm around my shoulders and leads me down a dark path into the woods.  
“Are you sure this is the way to the parking lot?”  
“It comes out on the side of the lot. Don’t worry girl, they won’t touch you.”

Once we’re deep in the woods, I move away from him, stepping into the shadows where Jax and Opie are waiting. Opie steps forward and forces the clown to his knees.  
“What is this?”  
I step back out so I’m in front of him, holding Jax’s knife in my hand.  
“This…Is justice for the little girl you raped earlier tonight.”  
“I didn’t…”  
“Yes you did. Just like you were intending on doing to me.”  
“Why are you working with these guys?”  
“Oh? These guys? These are my husbands. I’m an adult.”  
“You look fifteen.”  
“Well, I’m not, That little girl earlier wasn’t either. She’s only thirteen. Knowing you’re dead is going to help her heal though. Trust me. Knowing my rapists were dead did wonders for my healing.”

I walk up to him and line the knife up with his jugular before plunging it into his neck in a smooth motion. I pull the knife out and Opie lets him go. We watch as he bleeds out and then Jax calls Juice and Tig to come bury the body. We wait until they get there, then head home.

When we walk in the house, Elliott is in the living room.  
“Is it done?”  
“Of course it’s done, Elliott.”  
“Who did it?”  
“I did. I told her I would, so I did.”  
“Thank you, Veronica.”  
“Where is she?”  
“She went upstairs. She said she was going to lie down. Can I leave her here tonight?”  
“Of course. Has she showered since the hospital?”  
“No.”  
“Okay. I’ll get her to do that.”

I walk up the stairs and check the guest rooms. When I don’t find Tristen, I check Ellie’s room, but she isn’t there either. I check my room, but the bed is empty. When I open the door to Leo’s room I find her curled up on his bed with him sitting next to her, gently stroking her hair.   
“She didn’t want to be alone. She just fell asleep.”  
“I get it. I never wanted to be alone afterwards either. I always was, but having someone there who made me feel safe would have been superior.”

I walk over and sit on the bed next to Tristen and gently shake her arm. When she opens her eyes and looks at me, I say:  
“Come on kiddo. You need a shower and some pyjamas. Then you and I will get a bunch of junk food and curl up on the couch and watch chick flicks until we fall asleep, okay?”  
“Is he dead?”  
“Yes. I killed him myself.”  
“How?”  
“Tristen…”  
“How?”  
“I stuck a knife in his jugular.”  
“Good. Thank you, Ronnie.”

I get up and hold my hand out to her. She takes it and follows me out of Leo’s room and into mine. I pull out a set of pyjamas and hand them to her before directing her to the bathroom. After she showers and dresses, I say:  
“Go downstairs. Last I saw them, Jax and Opie were in the living room. I’ll be right there. I need to shower and change too.”  
“Okay.”

She leaves the room and I dig out pyjamas for me and walk into the bathroom to shower. 

I’m standing under the hot water crying when Opie walks in. He strips and steps into the shower behind me, turning me around and wrapping me in his arms. He holds me as I cry and he says:  
“Veronica, sweetheart…I know it was for Tristen, but…Your poor sweet, kind heart. Never again. Promise me. Being the one to kill someone…it hurts you.”  
“I know. Help me feel better, Opie. Please. Love me.”

I wrap my arms around his neck and he kisses me as he picks me up and slides into me. He pins me against the wall, but makes love to me slowly and gently as he’s done since I fractured my skull. We both come moaning against the other’s mouth. When he puts me down I kiss him and say:  
“As much as I enjoy your tender, loving side…You know you can be rough with me again, right? I’m back up to a healthy weight, my bone density is back to normal, my skull is completely healed, and I’ve been cleared for…everything. If I wanted to play rugby Tara would be fine with it. You can fuck me.”  
He starts crying and says:  
“I could have lost you, and I didn’t even realize it was happening. You are the love of my life, and I didn’t notice how much you were hurting. How much you were suffering. How? How didn’t I notice that?”  
“I don’t know, babe.”  
“I’m so sorry, Veronica…”  
“I know, Ope. It’s okay. I’m okay.”  
“Are we okay?”  
“Yeah, baby. We’re okay. I love you so much.”  
“I love you.”

I kiss him and say:  
“We should get out. I promised Tristen junk food and chick flicks.”

We get out of the shower and get dressed. As I turn to leave the room, he grabs my arm and turns me back before putting my rings back on my fingers.  
“Thank you.”  
“Don’t ever use yourself as bait again. I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you.”  
“The only reason I did it was because you and Jax were right there. I knew that you’d never let anything happen to me.”  
“How can you still feel that after everything we’ve done to you?”  
I shrug and say:  
“I just do. I love you. I can feel how much you love me. I know, with every fibre of my being, that you both would kill or die to protect me. It’s not a feeling…It’s knowledge, deep in my soul. It just is.”

When we get downstairs, Tristen is curled up against Jax with her head on his shoulder.   
“What are you watching?”  
Jax looks at me and says:  
“I have no idea.”  
Tristen giggles and says:  
“It’s Ice Princess.”  
“Oh. Ellie and I like that one. She uses physics to learn to figure skate. Do you want some ice cream, sweetheart?”  
“Yes please.”  
“You want me to make you a sundae?”  
“Yes please.”  
“Okay. I’ll be right back. Don’t let that husband of mine fall asleep.”

Opie and I go in the kitchen and I make Tristen and I sundaes. Opie carries in chips, popcorn, and soda for us and I carry the sundaes. When we get back to the living room, Opie puts the junk food on the coffee table and I hand Tristen her sundae before settling onto the couch next to her. She shifts how she’s sitting so she can curl up against me instead of Jax, and we eat our ice cream while watching the rest of Ice Princess.


	31. A Year Later

We had a relatively peaceful year, our treaties with the Mayans and the One-Niners stood without issue until Ethan Zobelle came to town with his white power bullshit. He made a deal with Marcus that involved breaking the treaty. 

The first time we realize the treaty is broken is when Ellie comes running into our room early one morning and says:  
“Uncle Eli is gone.”  
As I slowly wake up, I say:  
“You mean he’s out?”  
“No, Mommy. All of his stuff is gone. I found this on his bed.”

She hands me a piece of paper, and when I open it I see Eli’s writing:  
‘I love you, V. You guys told me when we started this that it could continue as long as the treaties stand. The treaty with the Mayans no longer stands. Marcus made a new deal. Nothing I have learned while living with you will be shared with anyone. Marcus understands that you and the kids are off-limits and so is your house. He doesn’t know about the bunker, and he won’t learn about it from me. Please don’t hate me for leaving while you were sleeping. I never could bear to watch you cry. -E.’

I look at Ellie and say:  
“Is Abeulita still here?”  
“Yes. She’s in the kitchen with the littles.”  
“And Uncle Felix?”  
“Yes. He’s with her.”  
“Okay. Go downstairs. Have some breakfast then get ready for school. Your daddies and I will be right down.”  
“Yes, Mommy.”

When she leaves the room, I wake up Jax and Opie. Jax takes one look at me and says:  
“What’s wrong?”  
“The treaty with the Mayans is broken. Marcus made a new deal.”  
“How do you know?”  
“Eli moved out while we were sleeping. He left this.”  
I hand him the note and get up to get dressed. Jax reads the note and says:  
“Shit.”  
“Very eloquently put, dear president.”  
“Oh, shut up.”  
“Call Marcus…And Laroy. Make sure our treaty with the One-Niners is still intact. I’ll talk to Leo, see if there’s anyone new in town he failed to mention.”  
“Yeah. Okay.”  
He hands the note to Opie as I walk out of the room.

I walk down the hall to Leo’s room, knocking softly on the door before walking in. I close the door behind me and climb onto the bed next to his sleeping form. I gently run my fingers down the side of his face before kissing him awake. He moans against my lips as he wakes up, then grabs me and flips us so he’s on top of me.   
“Good morning, my queen.”  
“Well…it’s definitely morning.”  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Our treaty with the Mayans is no longer intact. Eli moved out while we were sleeping. Is there anyone new in town you failed to mention?”  
“Just the guy opening the cigar shop on Main St. But he gave me the distinct impression that I’m too dark-skinned to be friends with him, so I don’t see him making a deal with Marcus.”  
“Who is he friendly with?”  
“Jacob Hale.”  
“Of course he is. What’s this guy’s name?”  
“Ethan Zobelle.”  
“Thank you.”  
“Now that we’ve talked shop, can I love you, please?”  
“No. Ellie’s expecting me downstairs and you know how much it upset her the last time she walked in on us.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Tonight I’m all yours, Leo…Well, I mean, we’ve got Bobby’s release party, then I’m all yours.”  
“Is the party here?”  
“No. It’s at the clubhouse.”  
“I can’t come to that, can I?”  
“Not working tonight?”  
“No. Unser’s taking the night shift.”  
“The party is club only. Stay here with the kids. Order pizza, get Casey to come in from his bunker, watch movies.”  
“Why is he still living in the bunker? He knows we have guest rooms, right?”  
“He likes it down there. I stopped suggesting he move into the house months ago.”  
“Weirdo.”  
“Yes. He is.”  
I kiss him and say:  
“Get off of me. I have to go downstairs.”  
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”  
He kisses me again and then rolls off of me.  
“I love you, Veronica.”  
“I love you too, dork.”

I get up and leave his room, closing the door behind me before I go downstairs. When I walk into the kitchen I find Felix and Juice sitting at the kitchen island.  
“Felix…get back to work.”  
“Yes, boss.”  
He gets up to leave and I walk over to Juice, running my hand over his shoulders before leaning in and softly kissing him.  
“You are not the club member that’s usually in my kitchen first thing in the morning, Juicy. What’s up?”  
“Ronnie, I…”

I sit down in the chair next to him, holding his hand in mine, before saying:  
“What, baby?”  
“I’m tired of being alone. I don’t do well on my own. My thoughts get so loud, and then everything’s kind of chaotic.”  
“How can I help, sweetheart?”  
“Can I move in? I know I can’t be with you, but I just want to feel like a part of a family again…you know?”  
“Oh, Juice…”

I trail off as Opie and Jax walk in the room. Opie says:  
“Yeah, man. Of course you can move in. You’re family.”  
Jax says:  
“As for the rest…that’s up to the queen.”  
Juice looks at Opie and says:  
“Really?”  
Opie laughs and says:  
“It’s amusing to me that you still think Jax and I are in charge of anything. The queen makes all the decisions around here.”  
“But…if she chooses to be with me…like she is with Leo and Eli…you won’t kill me?”  
“If she chooses to be with you, we won’t interfere.”  
Jax says:  
“We have club shit to deal with. We don’t need you right now, Juice. Get moved in. Felix and Casey will help. You can take Eli’s room.”  
“Where’s Eli?”  
“Treaty’s done. He moved out while we slept last night.”  
“Shit. You sure you don’t need me?”  
“Yeah. We’re good. Get moved in before Bobby’s party tonight.”

Both Opie and Jax kiss me and then walk into the dining room to kiss the kids. When they come back in I say:  
“So you called Marcus and Laroy?”  
Jax rolls his eyes and says:  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
“Where are you going?”  
“To meet with Laroy.”  
“Who are you taking?”  
“Chibs and Tig. You worry too much.”  
“No…I think I worry just enough. Be safe, come home to me. I love you. Both of you.”  
“Always. I love you too.”  
Jax kisses me and steps back as Opie approaches me. He kisses me and says:  
“I love you.”  
I press my forehead into his and say:  
“Te quiero. Siempre.” (I love you. Always.)

They leave the room and the kids run in. Ellie’s in the lead, as always, with her sisters on her heels and the boys trailing behind.   
“You all ready for school and daycare, babies?”  
Ellie sighs at me and says:  
“Yes, Mommy.”  
I roll my eyes and say:  
“Lunches are in backpacks?”  
“Yes, Mommy.”  
“Good. Did you feed the horses?”  
“Yes, Mommy.”  
“Good. Shoes and coats. Help your sisters. Kenny, help your brothers.”  
Kenny nods and says:  
“Yes, Mommy.”

Felix walks in the room and says:  
“Kids ready?”  
“Kind of. They seem exasperated with my questioning them. Feel free to try.”  
“They’re never exasperated with me. I’m Uncle Felix, not Mommy.”  
“Oh, shut up and take the kids to school. I have set up to do for Bobby’s party, so I’ll be at TM today. Your job is to help this one move in.”  
“I don’t want you at TM alone with the treaty being done.”  
“Felix, my darling, do I ever go anywhere alone? Kip will be here any minute.”  
“Club prospect is not good enough. Take a guard with you.”  
“Who is the boss around here?”  
“You…Except when you’re putting yourself in danger. Take Ryan.”  
“Fine. Overprotective.”  
“Being overprotective of you is my job and lifelong duty, V.”  
He kisses the side of my head and leaves the room, loudly saying:  
“Children! It’s time to go!”  
I hear all the kids say:  
“Yes, Uncle Felix.”

I tap Juice’s shoulder and say:  
“Come on. I’ll show you your room.”  
I lead him upstairs and open the door to Eli’s old room. We walk in and he closes the door behind us before putting his hand on my cheek.  
“Are you okay with me being in here, or should I move into one of the guest rooms?”  
“It’s just a room, Juice.”  
“You didn’t answer the question.”  
I put my hands on his neck and step closer to him before kissing him. When he pulls me tight against himself and deepens the kiss, I moan against his mouth. He pulls away from my mouth and presses his forehead against mine.  
“What are you doing, Ronnie? You haven’t let me touch you in years. The last time, you were in the hospital after having the twins.”  
“I kept my distance and didn’t let you touch me because of Opie. I didn’t want to hurt him, or you know…cause him to kill you.”  
He shakes his head slightly and sighs before saying in a low voice:  
“I want you, my queen.”  
“I’m right here, Juice. What are you waiting for?”  
“Seriously?”

I push his cut off of him and pull his shirt over his head before reaching for his belt buckle.  
“You’re serious.”  
“Yeah, Juice. I am.”  
He grins and pulls my shirt off before taking my bra off.  
“God, you’re beautiful.”  
“Yeah. The giant scar on my stomach just adds to my beauty.”  
“Baby…all that scar does is show that you survived.”  
I undo his belt and pants before pushing them down and wrapping my hand around his cock. He groans and kisses me as he undoes my pants and shoves them down. I step out of my pants as he steps out of his. I keep kissing him as I back up towards the bed, moving my hands to his waist as he pushes me onto the bed. We move up the bed together before I wrap my legs around his waist and he slides into me.  
“God…You feel just as good as I remember.”  
We slowly move together, kissing and gently touching until we orgasm at the same time. 

He rests his forehead against mine and says:  
“Does this get to be a regular occurrence?”  
“Yeah…I’ll put you in the schedule.”  
“I know you were just being sarcastic, but do you actually have a schedule?”  
“Eli had and Leo has a set night that I sleep with them…So…yeah, I kind of have a schedule. But there’s also stuff like this…stolen moments in the middle of the day.”  
“So do I just fill Eli’s spot now?”  
“I don’t know…do you rate a full night already?”  
“Ouch, babe. You know you enjoyed waking up next to me that one time we got to do it.”  
“Hmmm…true.”

I grin as I kiss him before I say:  
“Sunday nights.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah. Now, I need to go…I have shit to do for Bobby’s party, and you need to get moved in.”  
“Yes, my queen.”

He kisses me again and gets up off the bed before pulling me up with him. We both get dressed and leave the room. When we get back downstairs, Kip is in the kitchen with Abuelita. I lean over and kiss his cheek before saying:  
“Hey, Kip.”  
Juice says:  
“Hey, Sack…You watch her today, yeah?”  
Kip looks at him like he’s grown a second head and says:  
“She’s the queen. I always watch her when I’m assigned to protect her. I’m not fucking new, man.”

I look at Abuelita and say:  
“Todo el mundo está siendo tan sobreprotector hoy.” (Everyone’s being so overprotective today.)  
She shrugs and says:  
“El tratado está roto. Tienen razón en estar preocupados.” (The treaty is broken. They are right to be concerned.)  
“Marcus nunca me haría daño, abuelita.” (Marcus would never hurt me, Grandma.)  
“No se sabe qué haría ese hombre ahora que se ha asociado con esos imbéciles del poder blanco.” (There’s no telling what that man would do now that he’s teamed up with those white power assholes.)  
“Eso no. No necesito tenerle miedo.” (Not that. I don’t need to be afraid of him.)  
“Solo ten cuidado mi dulce niña.” (Just be careful my sweet girl.)  
“Si Abuelita.” (Yes Grandma.)  
“Gracias.” (Thanks.)

I tap Kip’s shoulder and say:  
“Let’s go.”  
Juice clears his throat and says:  
“Aren’t you forgetting something?”  
I shake my head and say:  
“Nope. I’m good with Kip.”  
“Felix wants you to take Ryan.”  
“Felix is awfully bossy for someone who isn’t the boss. I will be at the clubhouse with all the other old ladies and crow eaters. I do not need Ryan.”  
“Veronica.”  
“No, Juice. You living here doesn’t mean you can suddenly make decisions for me. I’m a big girl and am perfectly capable of judging how much protection I need at any given moment.”

I start walking out of the kitchen and Kip doesn’t move.  
“Kip…If you are coming with me, get off your ass and let’s go.”  
He jumps up and says:  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
We go outside, but before I can get in the car, Juice’s hand holds the door closed. I shake my head and roll my eyes before turning around.  
“Juice. I’m okay. I promise.”  
He puts his other hand on the back of my neck and kisses me before saying:  
“You are infuriating. You know that?”  
“I get told that frequently. Now, let me leave.”  
“Yes, my queen.”  
He leans in and puts his mouth against my ear before whispering:  
“I love you.”  
I kiss his cheek and say:  
“I love you too. Get moved in.”

He steps back and lets me get in the car. I pull out of the driveway with Kip following me and head to the grocery store before going to TM.


	32. The Party

The party is well underway when a strange car pulls into the lot. The guys all walk up to it with Jax, Opie, and Juice leading the group, which just makes me nauseous with worry. I stay over by the clubhouse and watch, my gun drawn and held behind my leg just in case.

When the car leaves, Jax walks over to me and puts his hand on my cheek.  
“You don’t need that, baby.”  
I put my gun away as I say:  
“Who were they?”  
“Zobelle and some of his guys.”  
“What did they want?”  
“To wave their dicks around. It’s fine, babe.”  
“You sure?”  
“Yes, love. Don’t worry.”  
“Okay. I’m going to head home, spend some time with the kids.”  
“It’s Leo’s night, right?”  
“Yeah.”  
“I’ll get Kip to follow you home.”  
“No. Let him have fun. It’s a 10 minute drive. No-one is going to hurt me.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yeah, babe. Enjoy the party. I’ll see you in the morning.”  
“Okay. I love you.”  
“I love you.”  
I kiss him and walk over to where Opie and Juice are talking to Tig. I kiss all three of them and say:  
“I’m going home. Have fun. I’ll see you all in the morning for family breakfast.”

Opie says:  
“Don’t stop anywhere on your way home. I love you.”  
“I love you.”  
Juice says:  
“Kip should go with you.”  
“No. Let him have fun. It’s 10 minutes.”  
He takes a deep breath and says:  
“Fine. I love you.”  
“I love you.”  
Tig says:  
“I’ll come with you.”  
“Not needed, Tiggy. Leo’s at home waiting.”  
“Oh…It’s Leo’s night.”  
“Yeah.”  
He kisses my cheek and says:  
“I love you, sweetheart.”  
“I love you too, Tiggy.”

I leave TM and am about halfway home when I’m stopped at a red light. I hear honking behind me and a woman about my age comes running up to my window yelling about her baby choking. I get out of the car, leaving my purse and gun on the passenger seat, and follow her to her van. I lean in to see the baby and realize it’s a doll as she hits me in the back of the head and I blackout.

When I come to, my hands are cuffed above my head and I’m standing up against a chainlink fence inside a building. There are three men in masks approaching me. When one of them grabs at me I kick out at him. I make contact with his ribs and he falls to the ground. The next guy comes close to me and punches me in the face before ripping open my shirt and pulling my pants off.

It seems like the rape goes on for hours with them taking turns before the guy that I think is the ringleader — the one with the upside down peace symbol tattoo on his throat — says:  
“I’m sorry, ma’am. We’re almost done. Give your old man a message. Stop selling guns to colour or we come back and we do this again.”  
He rapes me again and then punches me in the face. I pass out again and when I wake up I’m on the floor, covered with a blanket, and I can hear Unser yelling my name outside. I yell back as loudly as I can:  
“Wayne. I’m in here.”

When he gets inside he says:  
“Jesus Christ.”  
“Get me out of here.”  
He helps me up and out to his car. My car is parked next to his and he gets my purse off the passenger seat before handing it to me. When he gets in the car, I say:  
“How did you find me?”  
“Anonymous call about an abandoned vehicle. I recognized your plate.”  
“You can’t take me to the hospital, Wayne.”  
“What are you talking about? You have to go to the hospital.”  
“The guys can’t know, Wayne. Those guys did this to hurt the club. I don’t want the guys to know.”  
“Veronica…”  
“No.”  
I pull my phone out and call Tara before telling Wayne to take me to her house. 

When we get there, she cleans my facial wounds, then says:  
“I can’t treat you in my living room. We have to go to the hospital.”  
“I can’t. Insurance and shit. Everyone will know.”  
“Okay…I have an idea.”  
She pulls out her phone and dials a number.  
“La? How’s your health insurance?”  
…  
“Can you come to my house? Now?”  
…  
“Great. See you when you get here.”  
She hangs up and says:  
“How do you explain your injuries to the guys?”  
“I don’t know.”  
Wayne sighs and says:  
“I will take care of that. I’ll come find you at the hospital when I’m done.”  
“Okay.”  
“Wayne…You have to promise me that you won’t tell them. Any of them. The club or Leo.”  
“Leo is my deputy chief, Veronica.”  
“He’ll tell the guys, Wayne. He can’t know.”  
“Yeah. Okay. I promise. Go to the hospital.”

Wayne leaves as Lyla walks in. She looks at me and gasps before saying:  
“Sweet Jesus.”  
“The guys can’t know, Lyla.”  
“Hence the need for my insurance.”  
“Yeah. And nice use of the word hence.”  
“I thought you’d appreciate that. Let’s go to the hospital. Tara can check me in and run the tests on you.”  
“Thank you.”

Tara goes into her bedroom and gets a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, bringing them to the living room for me to put on since I’m still just wrapped in a blanket. I quickly get dressed and we leave for the hospital.

When we’ve been at the hospital for hours, Wayne walks into the exam room Tara has us sequestered in. He says:  
“I told them you were in a car accident. I may have crashed your car to make it look real.”  
“Thank you, Wayne.”  
“They’re all in the waiting room…All of them.”  
“I don’t want to see them.”  
“I can’t make them leave, sweetheart. I tried reassuring them that you were fine, but they won’t leave.”  
“Okay. I’ll get dressed and come out.”

He leaves the room and I quickly get dressed before walking out of the room between Lyla and Tara. Before we get within sight of the waiting room, I say:  
“Lyla…If they see you here they’ll know it wasn’t a car accident.”  
“Yeah, okay. I’ll come by the house later.”  
“Thank you.”  
She walks off and Tara says:  
“I’m going to discharge her. I’ll meet you in the waiting room when I’m done.”  
“Okay. Thank you, Tara.”

I take a deep breath and steel myself for the guys to touch me, because I know they are all going to want to hug me, and I walk into the waiting room.

Kozik wraps his arms around me as soon as I walk into the room.  
“Gentle, please, Dad. Everything hurts.”  
He loosens his arms and says:  
“Sorry, sweetheart.”  
He lets go of me and Jax puts his hand on my cheek.  
“What happened?”  
“I don’t remember. I must have blacked out.”  
Wayne says:  
“You hit a concrete barrier, darlin’.”  
“Oh. Yeah. That would explain the pain. Tara released me. I’d like to go home now.”

Jax says:  
“You okay to ride on one of the bikes? That’s what we all have.”  
“No. Wayne, can you drive me home?”  
Wayne nods and says:  
“Sure, sweetheart.”

Jax says:  
“Okay. We have to go deal with an issue with Luann. Go home and rest, babe.”  
I nod and walk out of the room with Wayne. 

When we get to the house, Abuelita greets me at the door, putting her hand on my cheek and saying:  
“Tell me the truth, my sweet girl.”  
“They can’t know, Abuelita.”  
“Let’s go up to your room, darling. Chief Unser, thank you for bringing her home.”

Wayne nods and says:  
“You alright, darlin’?”  
“Yeah…Thank you, Wayne.”  
Wayne leaves and Abuelita and I walk upstairs.

When we get to my room, I sit on my bed and say:  
“Where are the kids?”  
“In the bunker with Casey and Felix.”  
“And Leo?”  
“At work, I think. Tell me what happened.”

I detail the events of the night before and partway through my recounting, Abuelita starts crying and sits down next to me, wrapping her arms around me before saying:  
“Why? Why did these men do this to you?”  
“They want to hurt the club.”  
“That’s why you don’t want them to know.”  
“Yes.”  
“Well, what about Leo?”  
“He can’t know, Abuelita. He’ll tell Jax.”  
“I’m going to call Eli.”  
“No, you are not. He can’t know either.”  
“Why not?”  
“Because it was those white power assholes the Mayans are now tied to. I’m sure of it. You cannot tell Eli. Or Felix. No-one can know. Do you understand?”  
“We aren’t telling Felix?!”  
“He’ll be more overprotective than usual and the guys will figure out something is up. Felix has no chill.”  
“So what can I do?”  
“Let me shower and sleep for a while? Make me comfort food, and maybe put a call in to Corny?”  
“Okay. I can do that. My poor, sweet girl.”  
“And stop doing that. It was a car accident, I’m fine.”  
“…Okay.”  
“I love you, Abuelita.”  
“I love you, Veronica.”

She leaves the room and I collect pyjama pants and a sweatshirt before walking into the bathroom. I shower, scrubbing at my skin until it’s raw, before getting dressed and walking back into the bedroom to climb into bed.

I must sleep for a while, because I wake up to the feeling of someone climbing into bed next to me. I move away from him when he tries to wrap his arms around me, even though I know it’s Opie.  
“Veronica, baby…It’s just me.”  
“I hurt, Ope. Please don’t.”  
“I’ll be gentle. I just want to hold you.”  
“I don’t want to be touched. Please.”  
“Do you want us to sleep in the guest room until you’re feeling better?”  
“Yes.”  
I hear him take a deep breath before he says:  
“Oh. I didn’t actually expect you to say yes.”  
“Well, I did. What time is it?”  
“Early afternoon.”  
“Go be with the kids. Leave me alone, okay?”

He reaches over me and puts his hand on my cheek, gently urging me to roll over to face him. When I do, he stares into my eyes and says:  
“What really happened, baby?”  
“A car accident.”  
“You’re lying to me. What really happened?”  
“A car accident.”  
“Stop lying to me, Veronica.”  
“Dammit. Call a meeting. SAMCRO, Marcus, and Eli.”  
“The treaty is bust.”  
“Our house is still goddamn neutral ground. They need to hear this too.”  
“Yes, my queen.”

He pulls out his phone and I get out of bed to get changed into more appropriate clothing. When I take off my sweatshirt and pyjama pants, Opie gasps. As I walk into the closet to get dressed, I hear him say:  
“No, I wasn’t gasping at you, Tig. The queen is calling a meeting. Get everyone to the house. Now.”

I’m pulling jeans on when I hear him say:  
“Marcus. I know, man. I wouldn’t be calling, but it’s for Veronica. Can you and Eli come to the house? Now?”  
….  
“No, man. Our house is still neutral ground. Nothing will happen to the two of you.”  
….  
“Thank you.”

When I’m dressed, I walk back into the bedroom and he says:  
“I’m not going to like this at all, am I?”  
“No.”  
“Will you let me hold you while you tell us about it?”  
“No.”  
“Baby…”  
“No, Opie. I don’t want to be touched.”  
“Will you let Jax hold you?”  
“I do not want to be touched!”  
“Jesus…how bad was it? Even after Clay you let us touch you.”  
I shrug and walk out of the bedroom.

When I get downstairs, I see Juice and Jax in the living room as I walk through to get to my office. I walk into my office and lock the door behind me before I sit down at my desk, lighting a joint and starting to do research on Ethan Zobelle.

I print what I find, creating a file on him, along with ones for his daughter Polly — who was definitely the bitch that hit me, and his second-in-command AJ Weston — who has a tattoo of an upside down peace sign on his neck. 

When there’s a knock on the door, I pick up the files and open the door to find Juice standing there. He puts his hand on my cheek and says:  
“The guys are here. Are you sure you want to do this?”  
“No. I wanted everyone to buy the car accident story, but fucking Opie wouldn’t accept it.”  
“Oh, sweetheart…”  
“Let’s get this over with.”  
“Before we do…Can you tell me how bad it was? So I can brace myself.”  
I put my hand on his cheek and run my thumb along his cheekbone before I lean in and press my forehead against his. I take a deep breath and say:  
“It was bad, baby.”  
“Worse than Don?”  
“Yeah, sweetheart. Worse than Don.”  
“Jesus Christ.”  
I lean in a bit and softly kiss him before saying:  
“Let’s go.”  
“Everyone is in the living room.”

When we walk into the living room, there’s one chair open, so I tell Juice to sit in it and I perch on the armrest of the chair Opie is sitting in. He leans over and presses his forehead into my side. I run my fingers through his hair as Jax says:  
“Tell us what happened, Veronica.”  
I take a deep breath and say:  
“I’d like to state for the record that I was never intending on telling any of you this. That’s why Tara admitted me to the hospital under Lyla’s name and why Unser staged the car accident.”  
Jax says:  
“Why weren’t you going to tell us?”  
I shrug and say:  
“I didn’t want to give them what they wanted.”

Tig says:  
“I think you’d better explain, sweetheart.”  
I nod and say:  
“I was about halfway home and stopped at a red light when a minivan pulled up behind me, honking and flashing its lights. A girl, about my age, jumped out and came running up to my window screaming about her baby choking on something.”  
I shrug and continue:  
“I got out of the car. I followed her to the van, and when I leaned in to see the baby I realized it was a doll. The girl hit me in the head…blackjack or something. Knocked me out. When I came to I was handcuffed to a chainlink fence in some kind of warehouse.”

I take a deep breath and close my eyes.  
“There were three of them, they wore masks, but they were all white. I kicked one, nailed him in the ribs when he tried to take my pants. When he hit the ground another one punched me and finished what the first started. They took turns…it felt like it lasted for hours.”

I look at Marcus and Eli, both of whom are crying, and say:  
“You two are here because of this asshole…Ethan Zobelle.”  
I open the file on Ethan Zobelle to his picture and drop it on the coffee table. I look at Marcus again and shake my head.  
“You made a deal with the League of American Nationals? You idiot.”  
“Veronica…I…”  
“Wanted to increase your ‘H’ trade, right? I mean, that’s the only logical reason why you would throw away a lucrative treaty that has worked so well for so long.”  
“Yeah…What does he have to do with this?”  
“He ordered it. I can’t prove that for sure, but this bitch is the one who knocked me out and delivered me to them.”  
I drop Polly Zobelle’s file on top of her father’s, with her picture showing. Jax says:  
“Who is she?”  
“Polly…Zobelle. Ethan Zobelle’s daughter.”

I take another deep breath and say:  
“Towards the end, the ringleader gave me a message for the club. ‘Stop selling guns to colour, or they’ll find me and do it again.’ Which, if I were to guess, is what Zobelle told you at the party…stop selling guns to colour. When you laughed him off, he decided to try to break the queen in order to break the club…I woke up wrapped in a blanket, lying on the floor, to the sound of Unser yelling my name from outside.”

I drop AJ Weston’s file on the table, open to his picture. I say:  
“I’m sure that he was the ringleader. Same tattoo. He was wearing a mask, so I can’t ID his face, but I’d know his voice if I heard it again.”

Tig says:  
“Who is he?”  
“AJ Weston. He’s Aryan Brotherhood…also Zobelle’s second-in-command.”  
“I’m going to kill him.”  
I shake my head and say:  
“They’ll be expecting violent retaliation. You can’t. We need to be smarter…Brains before bullets, remember?”

Kozik says:  
“Multiple men repeatedly raped you. You expect us to not fucking retaliate?”  
“Dad. Their goal was to break me in order to send you all into a fucking tailspin.”  
“Well, it worked.”  
“Do I look fucking broken to you? Jesus Christ, Dad. You know, better than anyone else in this room, what I have survived without fucking breaking. Those racist pieces of shit are not going to succeed in whatever their long game is.”

Chibs says:  
“So what do we do?”  
I shake my head and shrug.  
“I don’t know…All I know is that Zobelle will be expecting violent retaliation. Be smart. Utilize your resources. That’s all I could get on them with the systems access I have. Maybe the ATF can get more. Talk to Casey. I don’t know what to do.”

Marcus says:  
“What do you want me to do, sweetheart?”  
“Whatever you want. It’s your club, your decision. I just needed you to know who you got into bed with. It’s your choice whether you stay there or not.”

Everyone’s quiet for a moment and I say:  
“One thing that might work to destabilize Zobelle’s crew is to let Weston know about Zobelle’s deal with the Mayans. According to his file and some of the things he said last night, I’d say he’s the true believer. I doubt he knows that his great white hope made a deal with a bunch of Spics.”

Eli quietly says:  
“What did he say last night that made you think that?”  
“Just comments about what a shame it is that my husband is willing to share such a lovely specimen of white pussy with people unworthy of it.”  
“Ouch. That seems…pointed.”  
“Less pointed than you’d think. Leo got the feeling that he wasn’t white enough for the League either, and let’s face it…He’s Italian and Greek. He’s pretty fucking white.”

I take a deep breath and stand up.  
“I told you what happened. I gave you suggestions. The rest is up to you. They dragged family into a club problem, so club solutions are required. Do what you will. Stay alive and out of prison though…yeah?”

I start to walk out of the room and Jax says:  
“Where are you going?”  
“Bed. I’m not broken, but I’m pretty fucking close. I need some time alone.”

As I pass Eli he reaches for me and I sidestep away from him.  
“Don’t touch me.”  
I walk up the stairs and lock myself in a guest room before climbing into bed and going to sleep.


	33. A Week later

I’ve spent the last week avoiding being alone with any of the guys. I’ve been sleeping in the guest room or in with Ellie, and spending every waking moment with the kids or out on Raven.

Today is Sunday, and usually Sundays are loud days in our house, with all the guys over to spend time with the kids, but today…Today I’m alone in the kitchen, baking and cooking, and the house is silent. Abuelita has taken the kids to see Tristen at her house, and the guys are all out on club business…At least, that’s what Felix tells me. 

I’m making pie crust when Felix walks in. He turns on the radio and washes his hands before saying:  
“How can I help, V?”  
“Slice apples for the pie. Peel them first. Slice them thin.”  
“Yeah…Abuelita taught me how to bake too, V. I know the drill.”  
We work together in silence for a while, making an apple pie and a rhubarb pie before Juice walks in. Felix looks at me and I nod, so he kisses my cheek before leaving the room.

After he walks out, Juice steps closer to me as he says:  
“You haven’t been alone with any of us in a week. Are you okay, baby?”  
“Come here, Juice.”  
He walks over and I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him tight against me before kissing him. He moans against my mouth and wraps his arms around my waist, pressing my body into his. He pulls his mouth off of mine and says:  
“Veronica…You’ve been avoiding us all since the rape. I’m not pushing for anything. I just want to be in the same room as you again.”  
“Juice…I want you. Make love to me…Please.”  
“Right here in the kitchen?”  
“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been fucked in this kitchen, but no.”  
I unwrap my arms from his neck and take his hand, pulling him out of the kitchen and into my office. 

Once I close the door behind us, I take my shirt and bra off before reaching out and pulling his shirt off. I kiss him as I undo his belt and pants, pushing them down as he undoes mine. I step out of my pants as I walk him backwards towards the couch. I push him back onto the couch before straddling his lap and lowering myself onto him. We kiss as we slowly move together. He tangles one hand in my hair as he runs the other up and down my spine. I gently run my nails over his scalp and when we pull our mouths apart to breathe, I say:  
“I love you. I’m sorry I’ve disappeared for the past week.”  
“You needed time, baby. No-one holds that against you, especially us. I love you, Veronica. I’ve loved you forever.”  
I kiss him again, pouring everything I feel for him into it, while still moving slowly against him. 

Once we finish, we both get re-dressed and head back to the kitchen. When we walk in, Jax and Opie are sitting at the island. I walk towards them, stopping at Opie first, running my fingers through his hair before gently pulling so he turns his head. I kiss him and say:  
“I love you…So much.”  
“Oh, my baby. I love you.”  
I kiss him again before letting him go and moving over to Jax. I run my hand over his hair, gently tugging on the ends before kissing him.  
“I love you, husband.”  
“I love you…Ronnie, I’m so sorry that they hurt you to try to hurt the club.”  
“I’m good, babe. They didn’t break me.”  
“You coming back to our bed at some point?”  
“Technically tonight is Juice’s night.”  
“You haven’t been in bed with us for a week, Veronica.”  
“I know. So I was thinking…”

Opie laughs and says:  
“Always a dangerous sentence.”  
“Oh shush you.”  
Jax says:  
“What were you thinking, babe?”  
“Let’s let Juice sleep in bed with us tonight.”  
Jax and Opie look at each other and say:  
“Yeah, okay.”  
Juice says:  
“Really?”  
Opie says:  
“Yeah. Why not? Clearly our old lady is fucking you. You may as well sleep in our bed too.”  
“See…you don’t sound like you mean that. And I’m kind of terrified of you, brother.”  
“Juice…If I’m being honest? I hate the thought of you touching Veronica. I always have. But Jax and I agreed a long time ago that everything that happens in this house is Veronica’s decision. I won’t go against that now.”

I look at them all and say:  
“I love you. All of you. I know this changes the dynamics of club relationships, and I’m sorry about that.”  
Jax says:  
“You have nothing to be sorry for. You have always loved Juice, and you have avoided him like the plague since the twins were born to make Opie happy. The club relationships are our issue to work out. Everything will be fine.”

Opie says:  
“What happens when Eli comes home?”  
“He’s not. We’re done.”  
“Are you sure about that? This is Eli we’re talking about.”  
“I understand that, Ope. I’m saying we’re done.”  
“Does Leo know about Juice?”  
“No. But he’s Leo. He’s not going to care.”  
Opie sighs heavily and says:  
“Veronica, can we talk? Alone? Please?”  
“Yeah. Come on.”

I hold out my hand to him and he takes it, getting up from the island as he does. I lead him into the office and close the door. He looks around and says:  
“It smells like sex in here.”  
“Yeah…It does. Ope…why is Juice such an issue for you?”  
“I don’t know. He always has been. The idea of him touching you has always made me so angry.”  
“But you’re fine with Leo and Eli. I don’t understand. What’s the difference?”  
“I never got the feeling that you loved Leo or Eli the way you love Jax and me…but Juice…you love him so much. It radiates off of you.”  
“Sit down, Ope.”

He walks over to the couch and sits down. I sit on his lap, straddling him, running my fingers through his hair and beard.  
“You’re right. I love Juice. The same way I love Jax. It’s not the same with Leo and Eli. It’s like I breathe easier when I’m with him. I know it makes you angry, but baby…I will always love you most. You are the love of my life.”  
He takes a deep breath and presses his forehead into mine.   
“Opie, baby, are you worried that I’m going to leave you for Juice? Is that what this is?”  
“He’s your age, and pretty. You love him like you love us…Yeah. I’ve always been afraid of that.”  
“He’s not a replacement for you, my love. I am never leaving you. Once again, since apparently you’re old and going senile, you are the love of my life. You’re stuck with me.”  
“So I should breathe and just be okay with Juice?”  
“Yeah…dipshit. You should. I love you all, but I love you most. I’m not going anywhere. And he’s just as protective over me as you idiots are. He fits right in.”  
“Okay. I’ll try.”  
“Do more than try, Ope. He’s your brother. He loves you. You love him. Would it help if you and he shared me tonight? Give you a chance to bond over your shared love of my body?”  
“Are you up for that?”  
“Slow and gentle…yeah. It’s you guys. I’m not afraid of you hurting me.”  
“If you’re sure. Yeah. Maybe that would help.”

I kiss him, pouring every drop of my love into it, before saying:  
“I’m so very sure.”  
“God, I love you.”  
“I love you.”  
I kiss him again and say:  
“Let’s go back to the kitchen. I have to bake those pies and make dinner. The guys are all coming over, right?”  
“Yup. They’ll be here in a little bit.”  
I go to stand up and he pulls me back down onto his lap.  
“Babe…”  
“Just a second, Ronnie.”  
He tucks some hair behind my ear and says:  
“I have never loved anyone the way I love you. I know I’m a little crazy sometimes. I’m sorry. I just can’t bear the thought of ever losing you.”  
“I’m not going anywhere, Ope.”  
I kiss him and stand up, pulling him with me, before leaving the office and walking back into the kitchen.

Once we’re back in the kitchen I turn the oven on to preheat and do the dishes I didn’t do when I finished making the pies. 

While the pies bake, I prep four pans of lasagna and make a giant salad. By the time the rest of the guys show up the pies are cooling on the counter; the lasagnas are in the oven; and Jax, Juice, Opie, and I are snuggled on the couch watching a movie.

When Tig walks into the living room, he picks me up off the couch and wraps me in his arms. He whispers in my ear:  
“I’m so sorry, baby.”  
“It’s okay, Tiggy. I’m okay.”  
When he lets go of me, I walk around the room, hugging the rest of the guys before I get to Chibs. Where the other guys got cursory, quick hugs, I wrap my arms around Chibs’s waist and press my face into his chest. He strokes my hair and says:  
“It’s alright, darlin’. We haven’t done anything stupid, but those assholes will pay. I promise you…They will pay for hurting you.”  
I stand on my toes and kiss his cheek before stepping away from him and hugging Kozik and Piney. 

Jax, Opie, and Juice rearrange themselves on the couch to make room for other people, and Piney and Kozik sit down. I sit between them, my head resting against Piney’s shoulder and my fingers interlaced with Kozik’s. Piney shakes his head and says:  
“All these men who love you and you’re cuddling with your Dad and Father-in-law.”  
I laugh and say:  
“I love you most.”  
He laughs and says:  
“Yeah, sure. That’s it. What’s wrong, sweetheart?”  
“Nothing, Pop. I’m good. I just like cuddling with you. What’s so wrong about that?”  
He kisses the top of my head and says:  
“Nothing, kiddo.”

The timer on the oven beeps and I stand up saying:  
“Someone set the table.”  
As we’re sitting down for dinner, Leo walks in. He sits in his usual seat across from me and when he realizes that Juice is sitting next to me where Eli usually sits he says:  
“Well…that’s interesting.”  
Jax says:  
“Is that all you have to say?”  
“You want me to say everything I think here at the dinner table?”  
“…Maybe not.”  
“Can we talk Zobelle, or do you want to wait until after dinner?”

Jax looks at me and I say:  
“It’s fine. I’m fine.”  
Kozik says:  
“You know what fine stands for, right, baby?”  
“Yes, Dad. Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional. Jackass.”  
Jax says:  
“What did you learn from Polly, Leo?”  
“Tonight Zobelle and Weston will be at a rally at Morada Christian Centre. She says it’ll be Weston’s AB crowd.”  
“Security?”  
“Minimal.”  
“Time?”  
“Eight.”  
“Okay. Ope, Juice, Tig, Bobby, Happy, Kozik…Let’s go.”

I sigh and say:  
“Really? You realize this is going to be a trap or a set up, right?”  
Jax reaches over and squeezes my hand.  
“We’re all going to be fine, darlin’.”  
I shake my head and leave the table, walking outside before stopping to breathe. Leo follows me out and reaches to wrap his arms around me.  
“Don’t touch me.”  
“Veronica. They’ll be fine.”  
“You’d better hope they are. If they aren’t, I will never forgive you.”  
I walk away from him, back into the house, and all the guys except Kip are gone. 

Kip stands up as I walk into the dining room and says:  
“I’ll help you clean up, Ronnie.”  
“Thanks, Kip.”  
Once we’re done cleaning up I call Casey and Felix in from the bunker and give all three guys pie. We’re standing around the kitchen, eating our pie and chatting, when Abuelita gets home with the kids. I go upstairs to help her get them all to bed, and when I come back down, only Felix is in the kitchen.  
“V, why does Leo think you’re breaking up with him?”  
“I think I might be. I love him, Felix, but I don’t love him like I love them. And I don’t…”  
“Don’t what, V?”  
“I don’t want him to touch me.”  
“And Eli?”  
“Before…before they made me think he was dead, I wanted both Eli and Leo to move out. I didn’t want them anymore. I loved them, I’ve always loved them, but I didn’t want…I was forcing myself to have sex with Eli so I didn’t hurt him. Then they made me think he was dead, and when Jax told me I could get comfort from Leo, I chose to. And then Eli was back, and…honestly, Felix, when I got that note saying Marcus had broken the treaty, I was relieved. I love Eli, but I don’t want a relationship with him anymore…God, this all sounds awful.”  
“And Juice?”  
“I’ve always loved Juice. I love Juice like I love Jax. I’ve kept my distance because of Opie. He’s always had an issue with the idea of Juice being near me.”  
“Does he still?”  
“Yeah…Juice is an issue for him.”  
“And yet?”  
“And yet…I love Juice.”  
He walks over to me and wraps me in a hug before saying:  
“Let’s go watch a movie, V.”  
“The Dude?”  
“Ugh…Do we have to?”  
“Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood?”  
“Fine.”

We’re sitting on the couch — well, he’s sitting, I’m lying across the couch with my feet in his lap — watching the movie when Opie walks in.  
“Where’s everyone else?”  
“Jail. It wasn’t a rally. It was some family church dinner. They got us on camera, and the sheriffs showed up right after we walked in with guns.”  
“Jesus Christ.”

I pull my phone out and call Lowen — the club lawyer — she answers and says:  
“I know. I’m on my way to find out about bail.”  
“Thank you.”  
I hang up and call Laroy, putting it on speaker while I wait.  
“Hey, V.”  
“Hey. You have anyone inside that can give my guys some protection?”  
“What did they do?”  
“Pissed off the League of American Nationalists. AB will be out to get them.”  
“Shit. What about brown?”  
“Mayans are allied with the league.”  
“Still? Even after what they did to you?”  
“Yeah. Guess that H trade is more important.”  
“Some of the family is inside. I’ll give them a call.”  
“Thank you.”  
I hang up and call Clarence.  
“Veronica.”  
“Hey, CW. I need you to make a bunch of money accessible. Six of the guys just got picked up for walking into a church dinner with guns.”  
“Idiots.”  
“Yeah…My darling husband was the fucking ringleader, and Dad’s there too.”  
“Do we know what the bail is yet?”  
“No. I don’t expect it to be small though.”  
“I’ll have $5 million liquidated and ready to go within the hour.”  
“Thank you. I’ll tell Lowen to call you.”  
“Okay.”

I hang up and look at Opie, shaking my head as I say:  
“I told you so.”  
Before he can say anything, I call Lowen again.  
“$500,000 each, Veronica.”  
“Call Clarence. He’ll have the funds ready within the hour.”  
“They’ll still be in for a few hours. Do they have protection?”  
“Laroy is checking. Tell them to stick together and close to black. If they end up with protection, that’s where it’s coming from.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
I hang up and take a deep breath before dialling Marcus’s number.  
“Veronica, sweetheart. What’s wrong?”  
“It’s time to make a choice, Marcus. Jax, Juice, Bobby, Tig, Happy, and my Dad just got arrested for an attempted attack on Zobelle. Zobelle’s daughter told Leo it was a rally, ended up being a church dinner…complete with women and children. The sheriffs arrived just in time too. The AB is going to try to kill them while they are inside. You and I both know it. We are posting bail, but they’re still going to be in for a few hours…Please, Marcus.”

I hear him take a couple of deep breaths before he says:  
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. My guys won’t help hurt them, but I can’t give them protection.”  
“Yeah…Okay.”  
“Veronica…This doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”  
“No, it just means you don’t give a shit if my husband and my Dad come home to me. It’s fine. You have your priorities, I have mine. Goodbye, Marcus.”  
I hang up and put my phone down, shaking my head. After a moment or two, I pick up my phone and say:  
“Fuck it.”

I dial Clarence’s untraceable number and wait for him to answer.  
“V.”  
“CW.”  
“Who do you want dead, love?”  
“Ethan Zobelle, Polly Zobelle, AJ Weston, and all their fucking minions.”  
“Consider it done. They’ll be dead before the guys get out of prison.”  
“Thank you.”  
I hang up and look at Opie.

He shakes his head and says:  
“You just ordered a fucking massacre.”  
“Yup. I did.”  
He walks over and sits where my head had been when I was lying down. I lie back down with my head on Opie’s lap and my feet on Felix’s lap and we finish the movie. 

As Felix is putting another movie in, Clarence calls me.  
“CW?”  
“It’s done. I have pictures of the bodies if you want them.”  
“Yeah. Secure email. Have they been disposed of?”  
“Yup.”  
“Thank you.”  
I hang up and before I can say anything, my phone rings again.  
“Hey, Lowen.”  
“Bail’s been posted. They’ll be out in an hour. Juice has been taken to St. Thomas.”  
“Why?”  
“He was stabbed in the back…Twice. They missed all the vital bits. He’ll be okay.”  
“Thanks, Allie.”  
“I’ll come over tomorrow to discuss the case and bail conditions.”  
“Sounds good. Thanks.”  
I hang up and get up off the couch. Opie says:  
“Where are you going?”  
“St. Thomas. Juice was stabbed.”  
“Jesus. Is he okay?”  
“Lowen says he should be, but I’m going to the hospital anyways. Felix will come with me. The kids are all asleep upstairs. I’ll be home late. Jax should be home within the next hour or so.”  
“Okay. Felix? Stay with her. She doesn’t leave your sight.”  
Felix nods and says:  
“Yup. Let’s go, boss lady.”

I bend down to kiss Opie and then grab my purse and follow Felix out of the house. He drives us to the hospital and follows me inside. When I ask for Juice’s room number at the desk the nurse says:  
“What’s your name?”  
“Veronica Winston-Teller.”  
“Oh…Mrs. Winston-Teller. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.”  
“It’s alright, darlin’. What room is Juan Carlos in?”  
“317. But your guard will have to wait in the hallway. There’s a chair right outside the door.”  
“That’s fine. Thank you.”

Felix and I head upstairs and he sits in the chair outside of Juice’s room as I go in. I sit in the chair next to Juice’s bed and reach out and take his hand, holding it tightly between both of mine. He opens his eyes and winces as he moves to look at me.  
“Hi, baby.”  
“I’m sorry, Juice.”  
“Why are you apologizing, Veronica?”  
“I tried to get you protection inside, but I couldn’t…You got stabbed because I didn’t get you out fast enough.”  
“Sweetheart, you posted bail within an hour of us being there. You did everything you could.”

I just squeeze his hand tighter in mine and don’t stay anything, so he sighs and says:  
“Come here, baby.”  
“You got stabbed. I’m not climbing in your bed.”  
“I got stabbed in the back, I will be fine as long as I don’t try to lie on my side. Come here.”  
I carefully climb onto his bed, lying on my side next to him with my head on his pillow, one hand on his chest, and the other hand intertwined with his on the bed between us.  
“I’m not hurting you, am I?”  
“No, baby. You aren’t.”  
“Lowen said they missed all the vital bits.”  
“Yeah, one stab hit a rib…The other nicked my large intestine. They were able to fix it no problem.”  
“Did they say how long you have to be here?”  
“A week or so.”  
I lean in a little bit and kiss his cheek before saying:  
“Well, I’ll be here everyday.”  
“No. You should be at home. Behind the walls, with all the security guards. It’s not safe for you with Zobelle and Weston wandering around.”  
“I had them killed tonight. Zobelle, Polly, Weston, and all their minions…I gave the order to kill them all after Marcus refused to protect you. It might have been rash.”  
“You ordered a massacre, babe? Sweet Jesus.”  
“They set you up to go to prison so they could have you killed inside.”  
“Yeah…But…baby.”  
“Very eloquent.”  
“You ordered a massacre.”  
“Of horrible people.”  
“I’m not debating whether or not they deserved to die. They definitely deserved it after what they did to you…Just, Veronica…Your poor soul.”  
“If souls are a thing, mine was in tattered ruins before tonight, Juan Carlos.”

He turns his head and captures my lips with his, kissing me deeply before pulling back a little and saying:  
“I love you. I just don’t want this to affect your mental health.”  
“I love you. It won’t. They were monsters.”  
“Are you staying?”  
“Do you want me to?”  
“Always.”  
“Then I’m not going anywhere.”


	34. A Month Later

I walk into the bedroom after feeding the horses and going for my morning ride, and find Jax, Opie, and Juice all sitting on the bed.  
“Yes, dears?”  
Jax says:  
“Leo is moving out.”  
“Good. He’s been moping around the house for the past month. It’s driving me nuts.”  
“Well, you did very suddenly stop sleeping with him.”  
“Well, he knew it wasn’t going to last forever.”  
Juice says:  
“Did he? Or was he blindsided?”  
“He knew that while I love him, I don’t love him the way I would need to in order to be with him forever.”  
“Do you love any of us enough to be with us forever?”

I just look at him and then walk into the bathroom to shower. As I’m getting undressed I hear Opie say:  
“You moron. She loves the three of us enough to be with us forever. When she decided to let you in, to stop ignoring her feelings for you to protect me…That’s when she made the decision to stop sleeping with Leo. She hasn’t even been alone with him since the day you moved in.”  
Jax says:  
“You’re family, Juice. Leo and Eli…as much as Veronica loves them…they’re outsiders. She wouldn’t have decided to start sleeping with you if it wasn’t going to be forever.”

I’m stepping into the shower when Opie walks into the bathroom. He looks at me and says:  
“Can I join you?”  
“You don’t usually ask, love.”  
“Well, I am this time.”  
“Get your ass in here, Sasquatch.”  
He shakes his head at me and quickly takes off his clothes before stepping into the shower.  
“Want me to wash your hair?”  
“Always. What’s with the consent-seeking, Ope?”  
“I don’t know…You’re still a little skittish from the rape. I saw you flinch away from Pop last night when he tried to hug you goodbye. It wasn’t a big flinch, but it was there.”  
“Me flinching away from other people is not indicative of how I would respond to you, or Jax, or Juice. Yes, I’m still skittish around other people. Pop, Dad, Chibs, and Tig included. Hell, I flinched when Tara tried to hug me yesterday. But I am not in any way, shape, or form worried that any of you are going to hurt me.”

He quietly washes my hair before gently turning me around and saying:  
“I love you.”  
“Show me how much.”  
“You’re sure?”  
“Ope…I have had sex with you since the rape. Why is this different?”  
“That was at night, in bed, when you were half asleep.”  
“So because I’m fully awake you think I won’t want to fuck you?”  
“Yeah? Maybe?”  
I shake my head and wrap my arms around his neck as I say:  
“My love…You are an idiot.”

He growls as he picks me up and slides into me before pinning me against the wall. When he starts slowly and gently thrusting into me I lean forward and bite his neck — hard.  
“Ouch, Veronica.”  
“Opie…Fuck me. If I wanted slow and gentle right now, I’d be fucking Juice.”  
“You really want me to be rough with you?”  
“Ope…I always want you to be rough with me. Please.”  
“As you wish, my queen.”  
He kisses me and then thrusts roughly into me, slamming me into the wall. 

As we finish, Opie’s hand around my throat and me gasping for air as I dig my nails into his back, Juice walks in. He looks at us and starts taking off his clothes as he says:  
“Well, that’s hot.”  
Opie kisses me and puts me down as Juice steps into the shower. As Opie gets out of the shower he says:  
“We have no club stuff today. We should take the kids out while Leo moves out.”  
I nod and say:  
“That’s a good idea.”  
“Okay. I’ll go check with Abuelita, see if she’s got anything planned.”  
“Alright. I’ll be right down.”  
Juice shakes his head and says:  
“No, she won’t.”  
Opie laughs and leaves the room as I say:  
“I won’t, huh?”

He steps closer to me and wraps his arms around my waist before kissing me. When he moves his mouth down to my neck I say:  
“What’s your plan here, Juicy?”  
He presses his forehead against my neck and says:  
“I’m sorry.”  
“For what, my love?”  
“For doubting how much you love us.”  
“It’s okay. It’s understandable. If I could go back and do things again, I would explain to the three of you how much I loved you from that first night. I’m sorry that I didn’t. I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry that I pretended that I didn’t love you for so long. If I had been honest from the beginning, things would have been different. You wouldn’t doubt things, Eli and Leo would never have happened. But I need you to hear me and understand me now…I love you. I love you as much as I love Jax and Opie. The only way this ends is if you decide you don’t want me anymore.”

He kisses me and then presses his forehead against mine but doesn’t say anything, so I say again:  
“I love you, Juice.”  
“I love you, Veronica. I always have. I just wish…”  
“What, baby?”  
“I wish that you hadn’t pushed me away. I wish that you had let me comfort you after watching the video Don made rather than Logan. I wish you had trusted me enough to sleep in the bed with me instead of Leo that night. I wish I had pushed more…Made you acknowledge that you loved me sooner, made you be honest. I just hate that we lost so many years.”  
“Me not trusting you was never the problem…You know that, right? If it hadn’t broken Opie’s heart, I wouldn’t have left that bed at all that night. Baby, if I hadn’t trusted you, I never would have watched that video with you there. I never would have let you hold me while I relived that. I have always loved you. I have always trusted you.”  
“Then why did you leave that night? Opie and Jax knew that I was going to be sleeping in the bed. You told them you were going to sleep in there with me. Even putting you fucking Logan aside…which, by the way, broke my fucking heart to listen to…Why did you choose to sleep with Leo instead of me? I would have just held you if that’s what you wanted. I never would do anything without your consent.”

I kiss him and say:  
“My love…let’s get out of the shower and continue this conversation in our warm bed.”  
“Yeah. Okay.”  
We both get out of the shower and dry off before walking into the bedroom and climbing into bed. I curl into him, putting my head on his chest before I say:  
“I know that you would never do anything without my consent. That’s not why I left.”  
“Then why?”  
“Because I wanted you.”  
“So you chose to fuck Logan and sleep with Leo because you wanted me?”  
“Yeah. I know that’s awful, but I knew that me being with you would break Opie.”  
“But we would have just slept.”  
“No, we wouldn’t have. All I can think about when we snuggle is your hands on me…Your cock in me…The look on your face when you come. Every time we lay like this or snuggle on the couch or even when we hug, I’m overwhelmed with love for you and the desire to touch you, to be with you. The way you smell, the way your arms feel around me, the sound of your voice…especially when you do that half-whisper thing you do when you’re pissed off. If I had slept in there with you that night, there is no way we wouldn’t have had sex.”  
“Have you always felt that way, or just since that night at the clubhouse with us and Jax?”  
“I realized it for the first time at the Neptune Grand.”  
“When we were lying on the couch?”  
“Yeah. I mean…I didn’t actually know how it felt to have you inside me then…My desire for you only increased after our night at the clubhouse.”  
“Jesus, Veronica. Come here.”

I move so I’m straddling him and lean forward so I can kiss him before saying:  
“I love you…So much.”  
“I love you…I want you.”  
I smirk as I lower myself onto him and we both moan as he sits up and changes the angle of our movements. He wraps his arms around me tightly and I run my hands over his head, tracing his scalp tattoos with my fingers as we move against each other. 

As we finish, Ellie bursts into the room, quickly covering her eyes as she says:  
“Mommy, Papi…Daddy says you need to come downstairs so we can go for our fun day.”  
“Okay, Ellie. We’ll be right there.”  
She leaves the room and Juice says:  
“Since when does she call me Papi?”  
“Since Abuelita told all the kids to. Even she knows that you are here forever. Eli and Leo were always ‘Uncle’.”  
His eyes fill with tears and I say:  
“What’s wrong, my love?”  
“The kids accept me.”  
“That’s a problem?”  
“No. These are happy tears. I didn’t think…”  
“Honey, they love you. They’ve always loved you.”  
“I know…I just didn’t expect them to accept me as a parent.”  
I kiss him and say:  
“Idiot.”

I get up and we both quickly get cleaned up and dressed before heading downstairs. When we walk into the living room Jax says:  
“You ready to take this gaggle of small children out in public?”  
“I guess that depends. Where are we going?”  
“San Francisco.”  
“It’s a big city, Jackson. Where are we going exactly?”  
“The Exploratorium and Pier 39.”  
“Oh…fun. Okay.”  
We put the kids in the van and Juice gets in the driver’s seat as I get in the passenger seat. As we pull out of the driveway, Jax and Opie follow us on their bikes.

We spend hours in San Francisco, the kids running around exploring, and just being kids. By the time we head back to the car, Ellie and Kenny are holding my hands, Opie is carrying a sleeping Dee and Tommy, Jax is carrying a sleeping Faith, and Juice is giving Abel a piggyback ride. We put the kids in the van, then Jax checks his phone and says:  
“Laroy needs us. Juice, take Veronica and the kids home. I’ll call you if we need you to join us.”  
Juice nods and says:  
“Yeah. Okay.”  
Jax and Opie both lean into the van to tell the kids they love them, and then I kiss them both before saying:  
“Los amo a ambos. Siempre.” (I love you both. Always.)  
As they ride off, Juice and I get in the van and head home.

Once we get home, we take the kids up to bed and then go to the living room to snuggle on the couch and watch a movie. We’re halfway through the movie when Tara walks in. I look at her and say:  
“Hey, babe. What are you doing here?”  
“Tig called. Asked me to meet them here.”  
“Well, shit.”

Before she can say anything else, the front door opens and Chibs and Kip stumble in, supporting Bobby between them. Juice jumps up to help and between the three of them they get Bobby into the dining room and onto the table. As Tara starts working on Bobby, Tig walks in the front door with blood on his neck. He notices me looking at him and says:  
“It’s just a graze, sweetheart. I’m okay. It’s not even bleeding anymore.”  
I nod and say:  
“Where are the others?”  
“Jax, Opie, Happy, and Kozik were all right behind me. They should be here any second.”

We all wait, staring at the door, while Chibs and Tara work on Bobby. Twenty minutes later, Happy stumbles in, covered in blood. Tig and I rush towards him, wrapping our arms around him to steady him.   
“Happy? Are you hurt?”  
“No, my queen.”  
“Whose blood is this?”  
“Jax…Opie…Kozik…I’m sorry, Veronica. I’m so sorry.”  
He starts sobbing and turns so he can wrap his arms around me as I feel my eyes fill with tears and I gasp.  
“Happy…are they dead?”  
“Yes. I’m sorry.”  
“Happy…Who was it?”  
“Mayans.”


	35. The Next Day

We’re all up basically the whole night while Tara works on Bobby. When Tara walks into the living room, I’m curled up against Juice on the couch and Happy is stretched out next to me with his head on my lap. Tig is kneeling on the floor in front of us, holding my hand with his other hand on Happy’s chest. We’re all quietly crying and Kip is pacing the room, trying to figure out how to help.

Tara collapses into a chair and says:  
“Bobby will be fine, but I don’t want him going home. Can he stay here?”  
I nod and say:  
“Of course. Boys? Help Bobby up to one of the guest rooms.”   
They all nod and stand up before leaving the room. As they do, Tara moves to the spot Juice just left and curls up with me, wrapping her arms around me. We both start sobbing anew and we cling to each other until the guys come back. The guys are all looking at us like they don’t know what to do when Abuelita walks in. She looks at us and tsks.  
“Felix told me what happened. Everyone needs sleep. Go upstairs. All of you. I will clean the dining room. Felix and I will take the kids to Elliot’s when they wake up.”  
Juice walks over to her and kisses her cheek before saying:  
“Gracias, Abuelita.”  
He comes over to the couch and scoops me into his arms before looking at Tig and nodding at Tara. Tig scoops Tara up and they carry us upstairs. I quietly say:  
“We can walk, you know.”  
Juice shakes his head and says:  
“You’re both grieving. Just let us take care of you.”  
“I love you.”  
He kisses my head as he lays me down on the bed and Tig lays Tara down next to me. Juice says:  
“Let me get the guys settled in the guest rooms and I’ll be back.”  
“Okay.”  
As he and Tig leave the room, Tara and I curl together. She softly says:  
“I’m grieving the loss of my ex-boyfriend…You lost both your husbands and your Dad. How are you breathing right now?”

I start crying again and say:  
“I have six kids who are going to find out tomorrow that their Daddies aren’t coming home. I have to keep breathing. I don’t have a choice.”  
She tightens her arms around me, and by the time Juice comes back we’re both mostly asleep. He lays down on the bed behind me and wraps his arms around me. He whispers against my ear:  
“I love you. Get some sleep, baby.”

I’m woken up a few hours later by Ryan.  
“Boss? Sorry, but the Mayans are here.”  
“All of them?”  
“No, ma’am. Marcus, Eli, and Esai.”  
“Are they still at the gate?”  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
“Are the kids gone?”  
“Yes, ma’am. Felix and Mrs. Navarro left with them about an hour ago.”  
“Okay. Hold them at the gate until I let you know to let them in.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
He turns to leave and then turns back around and says:  
“Are we going to need the cleaner, ma’am?”  
“Yeah, Ryan. We’re gonna need the cleaner.”  
“I’ll call CW, ma’am.”  
“Thank you, Ryan.”  
He leaves and I get up and quickly get dressed before walking downstairs and getting my gun from its spot near the door. I nod to Ryan and he mutters into the radio before saying:  
“They’re coming through the gate now, boss. They’ve been disarmed.”  
“Good.”  
“Boss…do you want me to?”  
“No. I’ll handle it, Ryan. Thank you.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

I open the door and lean against the doorjamb with my gun behind my leg. When Marcus, Eli, and Marcus’s son Esai approach the door, I shoot Esai in the head. Marcus says:  
“Jesus Christ, Veronica. You just killed my son.”  
“You killed my husbands and my dad. We’re not even close to even yet.”  
“I never intended for them to die, Veronica. I wouldn’t do that to you on purpose.”  
I shrug and say:  
“Your intentions are irrelevant. I have kids who are never going to see their daddies again. Who was it?”  
“Esai and his guys. You already took out Esai. I will handle the others.”  
“Nope. That’s not how this is going to work.”  
“Then how is it going to work, Veronica?”  
“You’re the club president, Marcus. Their fuck up is your responsibility.”  
“So you’re going to kill me? Take me away from my kids? My grandkids?”  
“Marcus, Marcus, Marcus…Are you trying to guilt me into not killing you? You really think that will work right now?”  
“Probably not. I do love you, Veronica. You do what you need to.”  
“I love you too, Marcus.”  
I give him a small smile and then shoot him in the head before turning to Eli.  
“You gonna kill me too, V?”  
“Not at the moment. You are going to bring me the other guys responsible for killing Jax, Opie, and my Dad. I will slowly take them apart, and then we’ll be even. But Eli…if the Mayans retaliate for this or you try to keep the guilty guys from me, I will systematically kill every single Mayan. Do you understand me?”  
“Even me?”  
“Even you.”  
“We’re really done, huh?”  
“Yeah, Eli. We’re really done.”  
“I’ll bring the guys tonight.”  
“All of them, Eli.”  
“Yes, your majesty.”  
“Now, get off of my property.”  
He turns around to walk away and I step back into the house and close the door before handing Ryan my gun.  
“Give that to the cleaner when he gets here.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

I walk away from him and manage to make it to the living room before collapsing in a heap on the floor, sobbing. Very quickly I’m crying so hard I can barely breathe. I feel arms around me as someone picks me up, but I don’t register who it is until he’s sitting on the couch with me in his lap whispering:  
“Bidh e ceart gu leòr, a ghràidh. Dìreach anail.” (It will be alright, my love. Just breathe.)  
I take a few gasping breaths and say:  
“Chibs…I don’t speak Scottish.”  
“I said it will be alright my love. Just breathe.”  
“I don’t know if it will be.”

Ryan walks into the room and says:  
“The cleaner is here…Boss? Do you want me to go get Juice?”  
I nod and say:  
“Please, Ryan. Thank you.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
He leaves the room and Chibs says:  
“Why did we need the cleaner?”  
“I killed Marcus and Esai. Eli will be bringing the other men responsible tonight. I told him if the Mayans retaliate for me killing Marcus or if he doesn’t bring the men tonight, then I will kill every last Mayan. Him included.”  
“Jesus Christ.”  
“You think I was wrong?”  
“No. I just wish you’d let us take care of these things rather than doing it yourself.”  
“I’m not a damsel in need of saving, I’m grown. I’m perfectly capable of pulling a fucking trigger.”  
“And when the Mayans don’t cooperate and you have to kill Eli?”  
“I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”  
“You expect him to do something stupid?”  
“Yup. The only reason I didn’t kill him this morning was to give him a chance to do the right thing. I saw the look Marcus gave him before I killed Marcus. Eli was there. He helped kill them.”  
“Does he know that you know?”  
“I don’t think so.”  
“Good. We will handle tonight, Veronica.”  
“No. I need this.”  
“No. You don’t. We will handle it. You are the queen, and you have enough blood on your hands.”  
“I’m not the queen anymore.”  
“Yes, you are.”  
“I was queen because my husband was the president. Bobby will be president now. SAMCRO will not have a queen.”  
“Bobby and I were talking, and I’m going to take over as president.”  
“I still won’t be queen.”  
“I would like you to continue in your duties as such. I don’t have an old lady.”  
“If that’s what you want, Chibs. But I am participating tonight.”  
“No. You are not. For once in your life, just follow orders. Please.”  
I sigh and say:  
“Fine.”

Juice walks into the room and lifts me off of Chibs’s lap before sitting down on the couch himself. He runs his fingers down my spine and says:  
“Ryan tells me you killed Marcus and Esai. Are you okay?”  
“Yeah. Tonight the rest of them die. Chibs won’t let me be there.”  
“Are we killing Eli?”  
“He was there. He helped kill them. Yeah, he needs to die.”  
“Are you sure?”  
Before I can say anything, I hear Abuelita’s voice from the doorway to the kitchen:  
“Juan Carlos, Eli needs to pay for what he did. Leaving those children without their daddies and gramps. He doesn’t know about you, so as far as he knows, those children now have no father. That is unacceptable.”  
Chibs looks at her and says:  
“Are you sure? He is your grandson.”  
“I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t sure, Filip.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
Abuelita walks over to me and runs her hand over my hair before saying:  
“The kids are up in the playroom. They don’t know yet. The two of you should go talk to them. Felix is with them now.”  
“Thank you, Abuelita.”

Juice and I walk upstairs and into the playroom. I hug Felix on my way in and then sit on the floor so the littles can climb on me. Once all three 2-year-olds are sitting on my lap and Abel and Kenny are curled up in Juice’s lap, Ellie sits down in front of us and says:  
“Dad and Daddy are dead, aren’t they?”  
“Yeah, baby. They are. So is Gramps.”  
“We get to stay with you, right? Kenny and I don’t have to go live with Grandma do we?”  
“Of course you get to stay here, sweetheart. You are mine. No-one is taking you from me.”  
“Good.”  
“Do you want to ask anything or do you need a hug?”  
“Mommy…lots of people have died. I’m used to it.”  
“Ellie, baby…These are your daddies. It’s different.”  
“I don’t want to talk about it right now.”  
“Okay. Papi and I are here whenever you want to talk or if you just need a hug, okay?”  
“Okay.”

Felix says:  
“V? Piney’s here.”  
Ellie looks at me and says:  
“Can I go downstairs to see Pop?”  
“Of course, love.”  
She leaves the room and Abel says in a quiet voice:  
“Dad and Daddy aren’t coming home?”  
“No, buddy. They aren’t.”  
Abel and Kenny both curl up closer to Juice’s chest and start crying, which makes all the younger ones start to cry too. As we’re sitting there, trying to comfort them, Kip and Tig walk in and each take a child. Tig scooping Faith into his arms, and Kip taking Dee. Felix walks over, takes Kenny out of Juice’s arms and says:  
“Let’s go downstairs. It’ll do them good to see Piney.”  
“Yeah. You’re right.”  
When we get downstairs, I sit on the couch next to Piney and Juice sits next to me and then the guys hand us the other kids again. We all sit quietly in the living room for a while until Abuelita comes in and says:  
“Come have some lunch. Felix, there’s a tray on the counter for Bobby, take it up to him and wake Tara up. She can’t sleep all day.”  
I look around and say:  
“Where’s Happy?”  
Abuelita shakes her head and says:  
“He’s in the barn. Said he couldn’t bear to look at you. It was too hard.”  
“Okay. I’ll go get him.”  
I pass Tommy and Dee to Tig and get up to head outside.

When I get to the barn, I find Happy sitting in the corner of Raven’s stall.  
“Come inside, Happy.”  
“I’m so sorry, Veronica.”  
“It is not your fault, Happy. I do not blame you. No-one blames you.”  
“It was my job to protect them. To make sure they came home to you. I failed.”  
“Happy. It is not your fault. Come inside and have lunch with your family. Jax, Opie, and Kozik would not want you out here by yourself. Come on.”  
He stands up and walks out of the stall, closing the door behind him before wrapping me in a hug.  
“You really don’t blame me?”  
“Of course I don’t blame you.”  
“Can I earn more smiley faces? I really want to kill the assholes who did this.”  
“Of course. Chibs says I’m not allowed to be involved, but he won’t have any issues with you helping. Let’s go inside and have lunch, then I need to call Clarence and Jury.”  
“Yeah. Okay.”


	36. Two Years Later

Tara, Lyla, Mac, Trinity, Ellie, Dee, Faith, and I are all in my room getting dressed when Abuelita opens the door. She looks at us all and starts crying as she says:  
“Oh, my beautiful girls.”  
I walk over to her and wrap her in a hug.  
“Te amo, Abuelita.”  
“Oh, my sweet girl, I love you too. Are you all ready? The boys are waiting.”  
I look around at my girls and say:  
“I think so.”

Ellie, Dee, and Faith are wearing matching lacy ivory dresses with light pink sashes and silver shoes. Their hair is curled into ringlets and pinned back from their faces with flower pins. 

Tara, Lyla, Mac, and Trinity are wearing floor-length dusty pink dresses with a slightly metallic lace top and silver heels. Like the girls, their hair is curled and pinned back from their faces. 

Abuelita hands me a box and says:  
“Your something old and something borrowed. Your hair clip is your something new, and your wedding ring from Jax is your something blue.”

I open the box and find a very familiar gold crucifix. I feel tears fill my eyes as I say:  
“Eli’s crucifix?”  
“It was his grandfather’s before that. He would have wanted you to wear it today.”  
“I’m sorry, Abuelita.”  
“You have been apologizing for two years, my love. It is not your fault that Eli killed your husbands and your dad. He made his bed, he just didn’t expect you to have it in you to kill him. You did the right thing.”  
She fastens the chain around my neck and says:  
“It’s perfect.”  
I put my hand over the cross and nod before saying:  
“Yeah. It is. I miss him, Abuelita.”  
“I know, baby. They’re all still with us. You know that. I know you can feel them…Jax, Opie, Eli, Leo, Don…your parents, Meg and Duncan…All of them.”  
“It feels wrong getting married so soon after Leo died. We hadn’t been together in ages, but it feels like I should still be grieving.”  
“He’d be happy for you, my sweet girl.”  
“I guess.”  
“Let’s go get you married. Girls, head downstairs. The boys are waiting.”

The other girls take the kids out of the bedroom and start to go downstairs. I can tell when they hit the halfway point on the stairs, because I can hear all the guys start to wolf-whistle. I shake my head and look at Abuelita. She laughs and says:  
“They’re your family, sweetheart.”  
“Ugh. Okay. Let’s go.”  
We head downstairs and the whistling starts again until Piney says:  
“Shut up you jackals. Leave my daughter alone.”  
Chibs, Kip, Bobby, Tig, and Happy all grin at me as they shut up. They’re all wearing black dress shirts and black pants with their kuttes, and they’re all holding kids. Happy has Abel, Tig now has Dee and Faith, Chibs has Tommy, Kip has his arm around Kenny’s shoulders, and Bobby has his hands on Ellie’s shoulders because at 10 she refuses to let any of her uncles pick her up. 

Piney takes my hand as I get to the bottom of the stairs, gently running his thumb over the tattoo of Opie’s name on my wrist. He does the same with Jax’s name on my other wrist and says:  
“You know this is what they would want.”  
“I know, Pop.”

Abuelita ushers everyone else out of the room, towards the riding pen where we’re getting married, and Piney gives me a hug and says:  
“You look beautiful. Like a real bride. Like a queen.”  
“Thanks, Pop. Is everyone here?”  
“Yes. All your friends from home, the One-Niners, the Mayans, all the guys who aren’t in the wedding party, and a bunch of the other charters.”  
“The guys that aren’t in the wedding party don’t feel slighted, right?”  
“Not at all. Juice has close friends within the club. You, Kip, Chibs, and I built up the charter while the guys were inside to keep us afloat. They haven’t all bonded since the officers got out. They will bond, it will happen. You have done more to keep this charter alive than any queen could be expected to. Everything will work out, love.”

Felix walks in the room then and says:  
“Everyone’s ready for you, V.”  
I hold my hand out to him and say:  
“I can’t do this without you, Felix. You’re basically my brother.”  
“There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

—————————  
Juice’s Perspective  
—————————

The kids all walk towards me first, the girls in their pretty dresses and the boys wearing black dress shirts and pants like their uncles and Pop. Each of them hugs me before going to sit down with Clarence, and Ellie’s last. As she hugs me she says:  
“Papi…I’m glad you’re here. Losing Dad and Daddy was awful, but I’m really glad we got to keep you. Even if you were gone for a year.”  
“I’m home now, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”  
She lets go of me and goes to sit down as her aunts and uncles start walking towards us. Once they are all in their spots, Piney and Felix start walking Veronica up and my breath catches. I’ve seen her in a wedding dress before, and aside from that, I’ve seen her in multiple outfits that she looks amazing in…But this dress…It’s floor-length, lacy with embroidery, long-sleeved, and the neckline plunges down between her breasts. She has her hair curled and pinned back with a jewelled hair clip, and I can see a gold cross shimmering against her chest.

When she reaches me she kisses both Piney and Felix before letting them go and reaching for my hands. She steps in front of me and whispers:  
“I love you, Norris.”  
“You never call me that anymore.”  
“I just thought it would be good to remind you that I know you as more than…this. I love every part of you, even who you were before you were Juice.”  
“I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

It seems as if the ceremony is over before I even realize that it has started. I don’t remember our vows at all, just the tears in her eyes as I slid her ring onto her finger. We had to search every jewelry store in California and Nevada before we found a ring that worked with her other ones, but eventually we found a set in the same style as those, just with rubies instead of diamonds or sapphires. 

When Bobby says that I can kiss the bride she and I grin at each other and kiss to the sound of everyone cheering and whooping, even the kids. I lead her out of the riding ring to be alone with her for a minute while everyone else gets the area ready for the reception. I lead her around to the other side of the barn and gently push her up against the wall before saying:  
“You’re my wife…how the hell did that happen?”  
“Yeah…I don’t know, babe.”  
“I love you, Veronica Winston-Teller-Ortiz.”  
“Geez, that’s unruly.”  
“So what are you going to go by?”  
“Just Ortiz, I think. I mean, officially it’ll be all three, but I think just going by the current husband’s name makes the most sense.”  
“And the kids?”  
“I think they should stay Winston-Teller. They love you, Juice, but…Jax and Opie were their dads.”  
“I agree.”  
“Really? I don’t want to hurt you.”  
“Of course I agree. I’m okay, babe.”  
She leans in and kisses me, pulling me tight against her body until Felix comes over and says:  
“Save that for later. Come enjoy your reception.”  
She laughs as she pulls away from me and says:  
“What makes you think I wouldn’t enjoy this more than the reception, Felix?”  
“Don’t be difficult, V.”  
She fake pouts and says:  
“You never let me have any fun, Felix. We’ll be right there. Go away.”

——————————-  
Veronica’s Perspective  
——————————-

As Felix shakes his head and walks away, I grab the front of Juice’s shirt and pull him closer to me again. Before I can kiss him, he says:  
“Felix isn’t wrong, love.”  
“Yeah, yeah. I know. I just want you.”  
He smirks and says:  
“You always want me, you’re insatiable.”  
“Well, to be fair…you’ve been home for barely a month since being in prison for over a year. I’m allowed to be slightly insatiable.”  
He leans in and gently bites my neck before whispering in that spine-tingling half-growl he has:  
“You’re always allowed to be insatiable, Veronica. I’m not complaining. Just right now, we should go visit with our wedding guests.”  
With that, he steps back from me and smirks when I whimper. I shake my head and glare at him before saying:  
“So not cool. You know what that voice does to me.”  
He holds his hand out to me as he says:  
“Yup. Let’s go, my queen.”  
As I take his hand, interlacing our fingers, I say:  
“I hate you.”  
“Yup…That’s believable.”


	37. Time Marches On

A year after our wedding, Abuelita died in her sleep. She had been feeling weaker and weaker for months and we had replaced her as the nanny right after the wedding, so for the last year she was just our Abuelita. We took care of her more than she took care of us, as it’s supposed to be. We had her buried next to Eli and Ellie cherishes the family crucifix that Abuelita left her.

About 6 months after that, Piney had a massive heart attack while at the cabin. He managed to call 9-1-1, but he died in the hospital the next day. We were all with him when he passed. We buried him next to Opie.

The next 9 years were relatively peaceful. There were issues with other clubs, obviously, but we didn’t lose anyone to violence or prison during those years. The kids mostly grew up, and Ellie was the first to get her motorcycle license and start going for rides with her Uncles and Papi. Kenny followed in her footsteps as soon as he was able to, and now Abel is in the process of getting certified.

Ellie is now twenty and has moved into the apartment that used to belong to Abuelita. She looks just like Donna, but with Opie’s eyes. Two years ago she convinced the club to allow her to become a prospect. When they argued that the bylaws said all members had to be male, she reminded them that her Pop and her mom, the queen, changed the bylaws years ago to patch in her Uncle T.O., so clearly the bylaws weren’t written in stone. They made her leave the room while they talked, and I received a phone call from Chibs on speaker so I could hear the whole argument.  
Chibs: “Hey, darlin’. Did you know she wants to prospect?”  
Me: “No, but you can’t be surprised about that. Every man she has ever loved has been patched into one club or another.”  
Bobby: “Are you okay with this?”  
Juice: “Of course she isn’t. This is our daughter we’re talking about! I’m not okay with it either.”  
Me: “Can I speak now, love?”  
Juice: “Sorry.”  
Me: “I’m fine with it. She is a grown-up, and if this is what she wants I will not stand in her way. I would let her brothers prospect, so not letting her seems a little…Unfair.”  
Juice: “Are you serious? Being in this club is dangerous. You’re just going to let her join? Have you forgotten that her father bled to death on the side of the road because of this club?”  
Chibs: “Juice! What the fuck, man?”  
Me: “No, Juan Carlos. I did not forget that. But I also haven’t forgotten that my step-father bled to death on the side of the road because he was a cop. My biological father was a tech mogul and bled to death in his living room. Hell, I almost bled to death in our goddamn dining room. Life is dangerous. Yeah. Being part of the club is slightly more dangerous, but…I am not going to stop her from living the life she wants to live.”  
Everyone was silent for a moment, so I said:  
“If it was one of the boys there, none of you would have an issue with this. Ellie is a woman, but she is Opie’s daughter. Piney’s grand-daughter. She is a goddamn legacy who was raised by the queen, completely immersed in the club. There’s no way she wasn’t going to want to be a part of it. If you have a reason you don’t want her to prospect other than she’s female, then fine, but otherwise, guys…just change the bylaws and let her try. It’s not like she doesn’t already know all the club secrets.”  
I heard the phone being taken off speaker and then Chibs said:  
“You make good points, but love, she’s your daughter. You’re really okay with this?”  
“It’s what she wants Filip. I wouldn’t have said yes if I wasn’t okay with it.”  
“Alright. We’ll vote then.”  
“Great. Let her tell me the results, yeah?”  
“Yes, my queen.”

Now Ellie is a fully-patched member and Kenny —who looks just like Opie— is a prospect. There was no argument about Kenny prospecting, it was just a given. 

————————  
10 years later  
————————

Now that all of my kids are adults, I know that everything Lilly said about them was true. 

Ellie looks just like Donna and Kenny looks just like Opie, both of them are fully-patched members of SAMCRO, Ellie is the Sergeant-at-Arms and Kenny handles explosions, just like his Daddy. 

Abel looks just like Don, but personality-wise he’s SoA Jax through and through. He is also a fully-patched member of SAMCRO. He learned how to execute people from Happy, so he’s a bit scary sometimes.

My youngest kids all decided to not join the club. 

Faith looks just like Meg, she is currently in law school. Her very sound reasoning was that her siblings might need a lawyer in the future. 

Delilah —who refuses to be called Dee anymore— looks like me, but with Opie’s brown hair and his green eyes. She became a sheriff after graduating high school and currently works in the Charming detachment. 

Tom is Jax’s clone, looking at him and Kenny breaks my heart every time. He has Jax’s sweet personality too, deciding to put that to use with kids, so he is currently working as a grade 4 teacher at Charming Elementary. Tom’s fiancée Kayla is 7 months pregnant and I cannot wait to be Grandma. Juice says we’re too young to be grandparents, but I told him that he should just be happy none of the kids had babies as teenagers.

Chibs stepped down as President about 6 months ago, passing the gavel over to Juice. Kip is Juice’s Vice-President.


End file.
